Two things I have always wanted to try are not at all related.
One is a climb to McAfee's Knob. It's on the Appalachian Trail and not far from me. It is, however, a six mile trek. I do well to make it around the grocery store. So unless I become more physically active, I don't see this happening.
The other is to have an office not in my house, a place of my very own. I took over one of the rooms that was to have been a bedroom when we had children, but since we were denied that opportunity, the rooms turned into other uses.
The small room had always been my office, because I freelanced even when I was working. I was also in school and needed a place to study.
In 1994, when I was having migraines for three days every two weeks and could not feasibly be employed, I started freelancing full time. The larger bedroom became my office. It has been my office now for 25 years. While it is easy to throw in a load of laundry, it is also a distraction.
This is particularly true now that my husband has retired and is home more. The fact that he is in the house makes me anxious after spending so much time alone here.
So I have always wanted an office of my own. A place to go and work. Logically and monetarily, it doesn't make sense, though.
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I feel most energized when I am writing on an article. This is particularly true if I know I'm breaking a story - the first to get the news out there. Tracking down leads, doing quick interviews, putting it all together, double-checking facts - it's a breathtaking undertaking. I did it well when I was doing it and I still enjoy the little I am doing. I'm not sure why I can't find this same enthusiasm for my own projects.
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I feel most tired when I am at odds with myself. This is not the happy tired of having worked in the garden, or the happy tired of having cleaned something. This is the despair kind of tired that makes one wonder why one exists in the first place. That's a very tiring question to which there seems to be no answer.
These are the February Journal Prompts. Join up at Kwizgiver's.