Thursday 13: Songs I Loved (But Now Maybe Not So Much)
1. Muskrat Love, by Captain & Tennille. I once thought it was charming. Now I wonder what was in the water. Rats in love? Who sings about that? Besides Captain & Tennille, I mean.
2. You Light Up My Life, by Debby Boone. This was mandatory listening in the 70s. Like jury duty, but with strings. And it was also the first song I ever sang in public while accompanying myself on guitar. I was a freshman in high school.
3. Afternoon Delight, by Starland Vocal Band. In the 1970s, I sang along cheerfully. Then I learned what it meant. Then I discovered Sunday afternoons. ::: wink wink :::
4. Escape (The Piña Colada Song), by Rupert Holmes. A catchy tune about two people cheating on each other … with each other. It was kind of fun, but I do wonder if that couple would have made it.
5. Seasons in the Sun, by Terry Jacks. All the young girls cried over this song when I was in . . . I think elementary school? We thought it was profound. When I listen to it now, it's terribly depressing.
6. Honey, by Bobby Goldsboro. I remember my father singing this song. I once found it touching. Now I find it emotionally manipulative.
7. Feelings, by Morris Albert. Feelings… nothing more than . . . melodrama. My husband hates this song.
8. Sometimes When We Touch, by Dan Hill. The honesty was too much. And also somehow not enough. I loved the line about being "just another writer, still trapped within my truth," though.
9. You’re Having My Baby, by Paul Anka. I didn’t realize how cringe this was until I heard Howard Wolowitz sing it on The Big Bang Theory, aimed at Bernadette's tummy. Then it was like, oh yuck. I will never be able to hear this song again without seeing Howard's face.
10. The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia, by Vicki Lawrence. I loved the drama. I loved the story. Now I hear it as a soap opera, but I confess I still like the song. I just don't love it like I once did.
11. Delta Dawn, by Helen Reddy. Still catchy, but the storyline feels different when you’re old enough to read between the lines. I mean, 40 years old and her daddy still called her Baby? What's up with that? However, this song hasn't anything on Reddy's Angie Baby for total weirdness. That's some freaky stuff right there.
12. Billy, Don’t Be a Hero, by Bo Donaldson & The Heywoods. I thought it was sad. I still think it's a sad song, but I also think it should be an anti-war song. Nobody should come home in a coffin.
13. Brand New Key, by Melanie. Cute, yes. But also . . . what exactly was happening here? I remember singing this song with my mother, who apparently did not make a connection between roller skates and keys and, well, sex. Because surely that's what they're talking about right? Right?
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Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; there is a list here if you want to read other Thursday Thirteens and/or play along. I've been playing for a while, and this is my 969th time to do a list of 13 on a Thursday. Or so sayth the Blogger counter, anyway.
Answer these questions with anything from a single word to a paragraph or two. It's up to you.
A is for Age.
A. I am of an age when I am now old. Some might even call me elderly, although I prefer "older person," myself. I'm old enough to know better, and old enough not to care so much.
B is for your Booze of choice.
A. My beverage of choice would be an A&W root beer.
C is for Career.
A. I worked as a freelance news writer for about 40 years. Some of that time I was on staff, but most of it I worked freelance, writing as many as 30 articles a month. It was not great pay but I did, heard, and saw many things I'd not otherwise have.
D is for your Dog's name.
A. My last dog's name was Ginger. We had her for 17 years. We got her in 1984 and she died in 2001.
E is for Everyday Essentials.
A. I need lotion, powder, toothpaste, and mouthwash every day.
F is for your Favorite Food.
A. My favorite food is chocolate. I am a confirmed chocoholic.
G is for your favorite Game.
A. My favorite game is a video game called Skyrim, which I haven't played in years, but it is still my favorite video game of all time.
H is for your Hometown.
A. My hometown is the community in which I still live.
I is for an Instrument you play.
A. I play guitar.
J is for your favorite Jam or Jelly flavor.
A. My favorite jelly is Welch's Grape Jelly.
K is for Kids.
A. I do not have any kids.
L is for the Last show or movie your watched.
A. The last show I watched was an episode of JAG.
M is for your Most prized possession.
A. My most prized possession is my wedding band.
N is for the Name of your first crush.
A. My first crush's name was Jamie.
O is for what you Observe from your window.
A. From my window, I see oak trees in the pasture, a mock orange tree, grass that's a little greener than it has been because we had a small shot of rain, threatening skies, and a fence,
P is for Phobias.
A. I am not afraid of much, really. I will ask my husband to kill spiders and snakes if he's here, but if he's not, I'll do it myself. I'm not afraid of heights although at my age, they're not the smartest thing for me to indulge in.
Q is for your favorite Quote.
A. Not all those who wander are lost - J.R.R. Tolkien
R is for Regret.
A. Regrets, I've had a few, but then again, too few to mention.
S is for Sweets.
A. We'll just go with chocolate again here.
T is for the Time you wake up.
A. I am generally up by 6:30 though sometimes I sleep until 7 or so.
U is for Underwear.
A. I wear it.
V is for your favorite Vegetable.
A. Does anyone really have a favorite vegetable? I like peas, green beans, and broccoli.
W is for your Worst habit.
A. My worst habit is engaging mouth before brain sometimes.
X is for X-rays.
A. I just had some for my shoulder about a month ago.
Y is for your Yummiest recipe.
A. That would be for fudge.
Z is for your Zodiac sign.
A. I am a Gemini through and through.
Thank you for playing! Please come back next week.
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I always wanted to know why everyone was Kung Fu fighting when I heard this song.
1) Have you ever taken a martial arts class?
A. Once. I went to see if it was something I would like. I did not. I did, however, complete a self-defense course offered at the local sheriff's office about 30 years ago. I'm not sure that counts as martial arts, but I got to beat up a guy who was dressed up as puffy marshmallow.
2) In this song, Carl Edwards sings about funky Chinatown. Many cities – including San Francisco, New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, Vancouver, London and Antwerp – have a Chinatown. Have you ever visited Chinatown?
A. I have been to Chinatown in New York, a very long time ago, where I had the best ever sweet and sour shrimp known to man.
3) Many Chinese restaurants give out fortune cookies. Can you recall one of your fortunes?
A. Ha. We ate Chinese just last week, and I'd stuck the fortune cookie in my purse and forgot about it. Let's see what we have here: "Your positive energy will attract an abundance of blessings." Otherwise, no, I don't remember my other fortunes. They're like horoscopes, you read them, you laugh, you move on.
4) This week's featured artist, Carl Edwards, was born in Jamaica, spent his childhood in the US, and relocated to England. Have you ever lived abroad?
A. I have visited abroad but I have never lived abroad.
5) In 1974 he became the first Jamaican to have a #1 hit in the US with this song. Have you been to Jamaica?
A. I have never been to Jamaica.
6) When this week's song was on the charts, ABC TV had a hit with the show Kung Fu. Today it's available to stream. Were you a fan?
A. I remember watching it, but I was like, nine years old. I don't recall being a big fan of the show but we only received two TV channels at home so we watched whatever was on.
7) Also in 1974, the FIFA World Cup was played in West Germany. Have you been following the FIFA World Cup this year?
A. I have not followed this sport ever, including this year.
8) Two of 1974's most popular toys were popular with adults, too. Would you prefer a Rubik's Cube or a Magic 8 Ball?
A. I would prefer a Rubik's Cube. I had one a long time ago and got to where I could solve it in 2 minutes. I doubt I can remember how to do it now, though.
9) Random question: Have you ever cut someone else's hair?
A. I have not. I have cut my own hair (very badly) but not anyone else's.
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I watched zoning battles that lasted longer than some marriages. I watched supervisors argue about storm drains with the intensity of Supreme Court justices. I watched planning commissioners debate parking spaces as though civilization itself depended on whether there should be twenty-six or twenty-eight.
And I loved it.
Because every meeting, every hearing, every painful compromise eventually produced something. A vote. A decision. Meeting adjourned. And then I made that vote or decision into a thing you could hold in your hand. I created a story with a closing paragraph, and it went into a newspaper that anyone could buy and hold and read while they drank coffee.
Then I retired, and I discovered television had invented a completely different kind of process. Shows with no ending.
For example, there are shows about cars that are endlessly restored. Tractors that endlessly cultivate. People watch other people spend an entire hour making the perfect soufflé, only to eat it after the credits roll.
I blame Bob Ross. Not really, of course. PBS has enough problems already. But Bob Ross may have been the start of this trend. He stood in front of a canvas, spoke in that soothing whisper, assured us there were no mistakes - just "happy little accidents." He somehow convinced America that watching paint dry could be relaxing.
The rest of television apparently took notes, and now my husband watches car restoration shows like they're scripture.
These are not people driving beautiful cars, although he likes to watch people buy expensive cars. Mostly, he watches men tear cars apart, sand them, and put them back together.
He'll happily spend hours watching someone hunt for an original carburetor, tape off pinstripes, or debate the correct shade of factory paint for a 1969 Ford Mustang. Then he'll switch over to RFD and watch tractors putter across fields as though the steady rumble of a diesel engine is a complete narrative.
And then there are home decorating shows. Or cooking shows. I don't want to watch someone whip egg whites, reduce a sauce, or explain why Himalayan pink salt is somehow superior to the salt already sitting in my cabinet. I've never understood why anyone would voluntarily spend an hour watching somebody else cook dinner.
I hate to cook dinner.
One day, while I was . . . cooking dinner . . . it occurred to me that this isn't really about television.
It's about the difference between how my husband experiences time and how I do.
I spent four decades as a reporter. My job was chasing what happened. Every story demanded a beginning, conflict, facts, resolution. Deadlines didn't allow for endless process. Eventually the meeting adjourned. The lawsuit settled. The election ended. Somebody won, somebody lost, and I wrote the last paragraph.
That became the rhythm of my life.
My husband's rhythm is different.
For him, watching someone restore a car isn't really about the car. It's about the quiet satisfaction of seeing order emerge from chaos. One bolt at a time. One coat of paint at a time. One field at a time.
He's resting in a way I simply don't recognize as rest. He's not wrong to enjoy it. It's just not my peace.
So here's my anti-manifesto.
I Will Not Watch the Soufflé.
I will not spend my retirement marveling at someone's perfect meringue.
I will not become emotionally invested in whether a carburetor is period-correct.
I will not pretend sanding a fender for forty-five minutes is edge-of-your-seat television.
Instead, I'll get a fresh glass of water.
I'll open another book and I'll disappear into stories that actually end.
Meanwhile, my husband will happily watch another tractor crawl across another field.
And that's okay.
Marriage doesn't require us to enjoy the same things. Sometimes it simply requires us to let each other enjoy different things in the same room.
So, Bob Ross, wherever you are, I forgive you.
You probably never imagined your happy little trees would inspire an entire generation of television devoted to watching people patiently make things.
I'll let the tractor puttering be the soundtrack to someone else's peace. Because peace, I've learned, doesn't have to make sense.
13 Movie or TV Characters I’d Actually Want to Have Tea With
1. Christine Cagney (Cagney & Lacey). I loved her tough‑girl style and her matter‑of‑fact way of taking charge of her life, even when it went down the toilet in an alcoholic frenzy.
2. Xena: Warrior Princess. Another tough girl who could knock a man across the room with the back of her hand and then grab him by the hoo‑haas and kiss him until his eyes crossed. Who wouldn’t want to have coffee with someone who was once very bad but then set aright by Hercules?
3. Captain Kathryn Janeway (Star Trek: Voyager). The female captain of the Star Trek franchise was always noble, always on top of things, and always right. She would let me know what flying through the Delta Quadrant was all about.
4. Colonel Sarah MacKenzie (JAG). She could beat up a bad guy and then prosecute another one all in the same day, and then later that night she’d get Harm all hot and bothered just by fluttering her eyelashes, and you know she never meant to do that. I would love to hear the stories of some of her most famous cases.
5. Gandalf (The Lord of the Rings). I mean, he’s a wizard. He’s lived a couple thousand years. He fought a Balrog and died and came back to tell about it. He can whistle up the king of horses. Imagine the tales this man could tell you.
6. Sandy (Grease). Let’s face it, I’d really be having tea with Olivia Newton‑John, who has unfortunately passed away, but maybe I’d find out what it was she wanted Danny to “tell me about it” when she said that line near the end of the movie.
7. Aragorn (The Lord of the Rings). The king of the new era in Middle Earth would have lots of tales to tell, I’m sure, but honestly, the way Viggo Mortensen portrayed him means I’d mostly just sit and drink him in instead of the cuppa I had in front of me.
8. Jamie Sommers (The Bionic Woman). Let’s face it, she had a tough time with being bionic and all, and I know Lindsay Wagner actually sometimes does those 2‑minute face‑to‑face things with people online because I follow her on Facebook. I thought about doing one of those but then I thought, what would I tell her for 2 minutes? That I loved the character but the writing was awful in season 3 and I’m sorry, but I didn’t like the bionic dog Max?
9. Captain Jean‑Luc Picard (Star Trek: The Next Generation). If I'm going to have tea with a Starfleet captain, I may as well pick the one who can quote Shakespeare, negotiate peace between warring planets, and still make time for Earl Grey. He’d talk about diplomacy, leadership, and that time he got turned into Locutus. He'd do all in that calm, steady voice that makes you feel like everything’s going to be fine.
10. Diana Prince (Wonder Woman, film version). Compassionate, fierce, and heartbreakingly earnest. She’d talk about the burden of knowing humanity’s flaws and loving us anyway. Plus, she’d absolutely insist on paying for the tea because “it is my honor.”
11. Amy Farrah Fowler (The Big Bang Theory). Imagine sitting across from a woman who can explain neurobiology, medieval harp music, and the mating habits of fruit flies without ever losing her deadpan delivery. She’d ask me three extremely personal questions before the coffee even cooled, then apologize for her “enthusiasm for data collection.” And she’d have stories about Sheldon that would make me laugh so hard I'd snort.
12. Sabrina Duncan (Charlie's Angels). She’d sit down, smile that serene smile, and suddenly I'd feel like the world wasn’t such a mess. She could talk about truth, justice, invisible bosses, and how she managed to fight crime in heels with her head and her heart, all without ever breaking a sweat.
13. Mr. Spock (Star Trek: original series). Imagine the calm. Imagine the logic. Imagine the eyebrow. He’d sip his tea, explain the universe, and gently point out the flaws in my reasoning without making me feel stupid. And if I asked him whether he ever secretly enjoyed McCoy’s sass, he’d give me that tiny almost‑smile that means “yes, but I’ll never admit it.”
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Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; there is a list here if you want to read other Thursday Thirteens and/or play along. I've been playing for a while, and this is my 968th time to do a list of 13 on a Thursday. Or so sayth the Blogger counter, anyway.
