Avoidance Behavior

 Q. What is something important you've been avoiding? Why are you putting it off? How would you feel if you took care of it?

A. I have put off calling to schedule my mammogram. I have put it off because of Covid-19. I was hoping I might get the vaccine before I had this done. I also have been dealing with a stomach ulcer, and I can only deal with one thing at a time right now. 

If I schedule the appointment and go ahead and get it taken care of, then I will have it off my mind. Maybe I could schedule it for April, and I would have my Covid shot by then. I'm in the under 65 but high risk group, so I think I'm up next.

My Adventures with Dell

My computer was purchased in 2015, and it was a Dell. It came with Windows 8.1, and I upgraded it to Windows 10.

It worked ok. Then back at the end of January, it crashed big time, and when I finally managed to reset it, I lost my programs. My data was backed up on an external hard drive, so it was fine.

There is a backdoor through which one can download Windows 10 for free. I used that and managed to get the computer up and running.

In the meantime, my well-meaning husband insisted I purchase a new computer. This one was, after all, six years old, and that's generally all I get out of a computer.

So I went to the Dell Computer site and after chatting with a technician in chat, and then with someone on the phone, I settled on an Inspiron 3880. I needed something with a DVD drive and a media card reader. I don't game much anymore so mostly I needed something for browsing and word processing.

The computer arrived and the FedEx guy practically threw it in the door (he is never gentle with anything). I managed to get the new computer up and running, and over the last two weeks I installed my software, created a backup and restore disk, and hooked my external hard drive backup to it.

However, when I went to use the SD card reader, it wouldn't read the card. I downloaded straight from the camera instead. Later, I tried a different SD card. It went in and it read it. But when I popped it back out, a piece of plastic came out with it.

Now the card reader won't work at all. It doesn't read cards, and it won't bounce them back out, either.

Seemed to me it came faulty.

It happens.

I contacted Dell via chat. I was told that because this was a hardware "wear and tear" issue, it wasn't warranted. At that time, the computer was 13 days old.

The chat person gave me a number to call. I called. I was placed on hold, and after a very long time, the call simply . . . ended. No one ever picked back up and then I got that "erk erk erk" noise that says you've been disconnected.

Frustrated, I went to twitter and tweeted: "Never buy a @Dell!"

Moments later, Dellcares messaged me. They would solve my problem, some helpful person named Laverna said.

After I explained the problem, she too said that they wouldn't fix the issue, because maybe I'd pushed too hard on the card and broken the spring inside. Really? I've been using card readers for 20 years and this is your response?

I told Laverna they were very useless and I would never buy another Dell. (I probably won't after all this.)

This is my fourth Dell computer. They've always been fairly reliable, but I could tell this 3880 was more cheaply made than my old one. The DVD drive feels like it will fall apart when trying to install a DVD.

Anyway, later I received another message from Laverna at Dell. She'd talked to her manager, and they were going to send me a new internal card reader at no charge to me but I would have to install it.

I asked if this would void the remainder of the warranty and the answer was, probably.

I went to Amazon and bought an external media drive, which should arrive today or tomorrow.

In the meantime, Dell went ahead and began the process of sending me this part, which after learning that it would probably void the remainder of my warranty if I install it, I didn't particularly want.

After I received an email saying the part was on its way, I thought, well, I can just hang on to the part and install it in a year, after the warranty period is up. I don't have a problem using an external card reader. There's a USB port for it.

But maybe I can't hang on to it like that, because there were these indications on the Dell support site that I may have to send the old part back.

Early this morning, I woke to find another Twitter message from Dell. Here's the entire thing:

I left it there, because (a) I'm not getting a monitor, (b) no one is coming to fix this, and (c) the FedEx guy doesn't hang around waiting on things.

My best hope now is that when the part arrives, there is a note in there that says I don't need to send the old part back. An external card reader cost me $15. This part can't cost Dell but what, $1 maybe?

Customer service sure isn't what it used to be. If I had the money, I'd give this one to my husband and purchase something somewhere else.

Bent on Destruction

This box contains my journals. I kept journals from 1985 until about 2003. Then I stopped. I occasionally write something to get it off my chest, but I no longer write daily. It's a good thing, or I would have more to shred.

Yes, I am shredding these. I'm trying to clear out things so that when I pass away, there won't be so much to deal with. Ridding myself and my heirs of these journals was high on my to-do list, and this week, they are being destroyed.

I have noted that I certainly learned to write whilst writing these journals. A lot of them are from creative writing courses - nothing salvageable in them, but I certainly did a lot of writing. (The entire lot of journals, if I sat them side by side, would be about as much as a set of old-fashioned printed encyclopedias.)

Good riddance.

****

What do you need today? What is one way you can give yourself some extra care today?

I need to stop thinking. My brain is on fast forward and I'm having a difficult time turning it off today. I could go read a book. That would give me something else to think about.

Who is someone you admire? Why?

I admire my mother-in-law. She has accepted the pandemic with aplomb, although I know she's much more of a people-person than I am and staying in has been difficult for her. She did a decent job of raising her son - he knows how to fold his t-shirts, for one thing (he actually folds them better than I do). She has aged gracefully and well.

How do you want to feel today? Do you feel that way? What can you do that would help you feel that way?

This seems a lot like the first question in these journal prompts. I would like to feel well. I do not feel well. I am still having stomach issues and have doctors' appointments over the next weeks. Hopefully we can get things settled down.

February Journal Prompts. Join up at Kwizgiver's. 

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing

Coronavirus  questions

 

  

In the past year have you–

1. Gone without a bra? 

A. Yes. But I did that before the pandemic.

2. Skipped making your bed? 

A. Not that I recall. I always make my bed in the morning.

3. Ordered groceries to be delivered?

A. We don't have that option in my rural area. We instead do pickup, where we drive to the store and someone loads our groceries in the trunk, and we wave bye-bye and drive back home.

4. Cooked a real meal?

A. Of course. We eat at home mostly now, so every meal is a "real meal" of some kind, cooked by me and occasionally my spouse.

5. Spent the day in pajamas?

A. No. I am always dressed by 9:30 a.m.

6. Skipped shaving your legs?

A. No, I have not.

7. Spent hours on Instagram or Pinterest.

A. I have not. I have never understood the allure of Pinterest and I do not have an Instagram account.

8. Eaten in a restaurant?

A. We have ordered take-out and had picnics in the car outside of the restaurants, but we have not eaten in a restaurant since March 13, 2020.

9. Skipped washing your hair?

A. I do this occasionally anyway, to allow the natural oils to refresh my locks.

10. Not folded the laundry?

A. Some days the laundry is washed and left in the basket. This is nothing new and not related to the pandemic.

11. Worked a puzzle?

A. I have worked puzzles on the computer, but not the kind where you lose the pieces.

12. Had Zoom calls?

A. No. I set up to have a Zoom call but it never happened. I used Facetime over Christmas.

13. Written letters?

A. Yes, I have written letters during the pandemic. I found a pen pal and I also started writing to my first cousin, who lives in Kansas.

14. Binge-watched a TV show?

A. I have not binge-watched a TV show since the pandemic started. I don't watch that much television. I'd rather read a book. I have been binging books.

15. Gone barefoot?

A. I never go barefoot. I can't stand to have my feet uncovered.

_______________

I encourage you to visit other participants in Sunday Stealing posts and leave a comment. Cheers to all us thieves who love memes, however we come by them.

Saturday 9: Cry

Saturday 9: Cry (1952)

Unfamiliar with this song? Hear it here.

1) In this song, Johnnie Ray assures us we'll feel better if we cry. Do you agree?

A. Generally speaking, I feel better if I'm really upset and finally let it go and have a good cry. It may not make the issue go away, but it allows the feelings release.

2) He also mentions waking from a dream, believing it was real. Has that ever happened to you?

A. Yes, it has. We have a bit of fey in the family and frequently if I dream of my brother, I call him to make sure he's ok.

3) Because this record was such a massive hit, Johnnie Ray was nicknamed "The Prince of Wails." Without looking it up, do you know who is currently the Prince of Wales?

A. I think that is Queen Elizabeth's current husband. But now I will go look it up. Nope. I was wrong. It's Prince Charles. I was on the right track, anyway.

4) To cash in on the success of this single, 20th Century Fox cast Johnnie Ray in a big-budget musical, There's No Business Like Show Business. Today it's best remembered as a Marilyn Monroe movie. Have you seen many of Marilyn's films?

A. I am not sure I've ever seen a single film with Marilyn Monroe in it.

5) After graduating from high school, Johnnie worked at low-paying jobs, including bus boy and soda jerk. He found he made better tips when he began playing piano in restaurants. Have you ever worked for tips?

A. No, I have not. When I was in high school and played in a Top 40 band, we had a set fee. There may have been times a hat was passed for extra, but we had a guaranteed rate to start with.

6) In 1969, Johnnie was in the news a lot again because he performed with Judy Garland during her European tour and was best man at her wedding to Mickey Deans. Tell us what you wore to the most recent wedding you attended.

A. I can't remember the last wedding I attended. I wore nice black pants and a blouse to my nephew's wedding reception a couple of years ago. They eloped and my husband and I threw them a party a few months later. That's as close as I can get to a wedding in the last 20 years.

7) In 1952, when this song was a hit, Mr. Potato Head made his debut. It was the first toy advertised on television. What TV commercial have you seen recently?

A. "Hi, I'm William Shatner, and you may not know this about me, but I was diagnosed with sleep apnea some time ago." Clean your sleep apnea stuff with some machine that must cost a fortune because they are offering $100 off.

8) Also in 1952, chlorophyll was all the rage for banishing bad breath. Colgate led the way by adding it to their toothpaste. Do you use gum, mints, mouthwash, or breath strips?

A. I use Listerine.

9) Random question -- Congratulations! You won a free three night/two day weekend for two in Las Vegas! The weather is predicted to be sunny and 65º each day you're there. It's 12:00 noon on your first day. Are we most likely to find you: a) gambling in the casino or b) having breakfast in bed or c) outside, enjoying the sun and the sights?

A. Hopefully outside taking in the sights.

______________

I encourage you to visit other participants in Saturday 9 posts and leave a comment. Because there are no rules, it is your choice. Saturday 9 players hate rules. We love memes, however.

Cardinals on Ice

 

Prompts Again

What are you proud of yourself for today? Why?

I am proud of myself today for getting dressed! I am not in my nightgown nor in my robe. I have had a shower, cleaned the toilet, made my husband's tea, washed a load of clothes, made the bed, and taken photos of the ice on the trees. Hurray for not being a total sloth and sitting in front of the computer!

Additionally, my brain is thinking about writing. This is a good thing. Yesterday I cleaned out a box of old papers and ran across several of the long pieces I had to write for college. A few of them could be reworked and maybe sent out to a journal or some other place that publishes in-depth, thoughtful articles.

So there's that. And it's just a little after 11 a.m.!

What are the most important characteristics in a friend? Do you have those qualities?

Not every friend has the same characteristics, and I wouldn't dare try to categorize what makes a person a good friend. Some people are good friends because they are loyal. Some are good friends because they're thoughtful. Some are helpful. Others are sounding boards. Some you enjoy discussing certain topics with, like books. Some are the people you call in an emergency. I hope I have some of those qualities and somebody somewhere considers me a good friend.

Thursday Thirteen

Today I thought I'd list the female country singers who have influenced me. My parents listened to country when I was young. Mind you, when I hit middle school and figured out that if I had my own radio in my room, I could turn the dial, I did. I went straight to Pop Top 40 and Kasey Casem's Countdown and never looked back. But still, there is a little bit of country in this ol' woman, I reckon.

1. Dolly Parton. I remember my mother singing Coat of Many Colors. She had another song, Love is Like A Butterfly, that my mother asked me to learn on the guitar, which I did. Dolly Parton also has done a lot of good with her money, which is more than I can say for many rich people.

2. Reba McIntire. This artist is someone I admire simply for tenacity and the ability to reinvent herself. I honestly cannot name a single song she sings, but I know she's done incredible things with her career. I admire a woman who doesn't let the glass ceiling give her a headache.

3. Anne Murray. Her song, "You Needed Me," was one of those that clutched your heart and allowed you to cry yourself to sleep at night after some silly boy let you down.

4. Loretta Lynn. She had grit and determination. I remember watching her on TV and thinking that she held herself well, and her music had an intensity that I sometimes found lacking in other singers.

5. Barbara Mandrell. I remember her best for her variety music show, which I watched religiously.

6. June Carter Cash. She's one of the originals, and she wrote many of Johnny Cash's hits.

7. Linda Ronstadt. I wouldn't have placed Ronstadt as country, but she was in the list I looked at, so here you go. She is one of my favorites, with a set of pipes unmatched in her day. I loved her early work and I was greatly taken by her album with Aaron Neville.

 

8. Crystal Gayle. I best remember her song, "Don't It Make My Brown Eyes Blue." 

9. Bonnie Raitt. Now here's a woman after my own heart, a guitar player who can belt them out better than anyone. She put in a lot of time before she hit it big. She is a good song writer, too. I've been surprised at the number of tunes she penned.

10. Olivia Newton-John. Here's another singer I would have considered pop instead of country, but her songs cross-over. I know all of her songs from Grease and adored most of her work when I was younger.

11. Sheryl Crow. Yet another singer I consider pop and not country, but what do I know? I listen to Sheryl all the time. She's the singer I have on when I am writing articles. I listen to her early albums, though. I haven't bought a new one in a long time.

12. Jeannie C. Riley. How could the singer of "Harper Valley, PTA" not have left an impression on a young girl who wanted to be a guitar player and a singer?

13. Juice Newton. I still listen to Juice Newton's songs, even though she had one or two good albums and then faded away. I thought she had a good voice and a good ear for arrangements.

_____________

Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; there is a list here if you want to read other Thursday Thirteens and/or play along. I've been playing for a while and this is my 695th time to do a list of 13 on a Thursday. Or so sayth the Blogger counter, anyway.

My Embarrassment

I am embarrassed to tell anyone this, but . . . I curse.

Like a sailor on a sinking boat.

My grandmother washed my mouth out with soap a few times when I was younger, and my father nearly knocked me to the ground once when I was a teenager and I said, "Fuck" in front of him, but I curse a lot.

I try to keep it in check when I'm in public or dealing with someone I don't know well, but let me have a deep conversation with a close friend, or my husband (who also curses), and there is no stopping the bad words.

My mother cursed, too, as does my father and my brother, so I come by this honestly. When one is raised hearing such words all the time, one becomes immune to any impropriety therein.

Besides, it doesn't hurt anything. Some people are offended by certain words, but the "F" word is the one I use the most. After coming across that particular word in court cases in my local county whilst doing research, I realized that once upon time, this word was not a bad word. The word dates back to 1310, where it has been found in English court manuscripts. And I can attest that in the late 1700s and early 1800s, it was used in court cases for divorce proceedings. "Flying fuck" originally meant having sex on horseback and was first used around 1800. (I found that interesting when I was looking this up.) The word was outlawed in print in England in 1875, so I guess it was a usable word up until about that time. We became more prim in our language, I suppose. It became a cuss word in its own right in the 1940s. 

The last time I really cursed was on January 6 as I watched the seditionists attempting their coup at the U.S. Capitol. Then I cursed mightily, loudly, and for a long time.

February Journal Prompts. Join up at Kwizgiver's. 

The Daily Mundane

The first thing when I get up in the morning, after taking care of necessary toiletries, is turn on my computer.

If I stay off of Facebook and Twitter, and simply read the New York Times or play my city-building video game, then this is not bad time. If I go to Facebook or Twitter, my mood can quickly turn sour, particularly if I read comments. People really are stupid and I'm afraid it's catching. I'm also afraid it will be the ruin of the country.

So if I stay away from the stupid, I have a better morning. Better to move straight to the video game and deal with strategy than to try to read commentary.

The last thing I do every day is go to bed and play Jeopardy! while my husband massages my stomach where I have the perpetual knot of pain in my abdomen. We average 7 out of 12 questions correct, which I think is a horrible record, but given that it's bedtime and my brain is trying to shut down and not think, perhaps it is not so bad.

It is nice that my husband will rub my poor tummy every night to try to help me stretch out the scar tissue that has infiltrated my abdominal cavity. And ending the day trying to remember facts is a good brain workout.

I do wish they'd change the host from Alex Trebeck, though, because he has passed away and I don't like hearing him announce the play anymore.

February Journal Prompts. Join up at Kwizgiver's. 

More Prompts

13. What is something you loved doing when you were younger, but don't do anymore? Why did you stop doing it?

I used to love riding my bicycle, especially in the summer when we stayed with my grandmother in Salem. We'd whizz around the block, constantly making a loop. There was a funky little forest service station at the end of the block, and they'd planted pine trees there. We turned that into a road course, racing our bicycles around the trees and along the paths that we'd swept up so the pine needles wouldn't wreck us.

We weren't supposed to ride our bicycles across Apperson Drive, nor we were supposed to ride them beyond the "haunted" house down the lane. As we grew older, though, we were allowed to ride them all the way into the City of Salem, where we could stop in at Newberry's for a toy, go to Brooks-Byrd Pharmacy for a snow-cone, and window shop at Ridenhour Music Store. My older uncle had to be along with us, though, for those rides, and since he was four years older than the rest of us, they didn't happen very often. At that age, four years is a lifetime.

I stopped riding bicycles because I learned to drive and received my driver's license. When you live in a rural area, bicycles are limiting. Cars give you a pass all the way to hell and back.

14. How do you show others love? What do others do that make you feel loved?

I learned a lot when I read the book, The Five Love Languages, by Gary Chapman. The 5 ways to show love, according to him, are physical contact, words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, and receiving gifts. I show love to others in all of these ways, but mostly through time, offering words of affirmation, and giving gifts. It really hurts me when people don't want to receive gifts from me, but I generally honor their request. My husband is big on physical contact and acts of service.

15. What is something other people think is fun that you would never do? Why not? What would happen if you did it?

I don't find parties fun, in general. Some parties are ok if alcohol is not involved, but there is little worse than being sober while everyone else is drunk and thinking they are hilarious when they're just idiots. Generally, I wouldn't have a good time and someone would call me a stick in the mud or some such, which is a good reason not to go to parties.

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing

1. What is the meaning of Valentine’s Day in your country/area? What happens on this day?

A. It's a Hallmark day, another holiday taken over by capitalism to force you to feel guilty if you don't spend money on the ones you love.

2. Is Valentine’s Day more for men or women? Explain your answer.

A. It is probably more for women, who tend to be insecure anyway because of being stuck in a patriarchal society that devalues women as human beings. A piece of chocolate and a flower once a year is supposed to make up for the fact that some people consider you not human.

3. Do you have any special plans for Valentine’s Day? What will you do?

A. I suspect we will be iced or snowed in and we will watch the Daytona 500. No special plans.

4. Which traditional gift would you rather receive: chocolates, flowers, or a card with a personal message?

A. I'd just as soon not have any of those.

5. Is Valentine’s Day only about romantic love? Or is it a good occasion to celebrate friendship as well?

A. I send Valentine's cards to friends sometimes.

6. Do you like romantic movies? What is your favorite romantic movie?

A. Forrest Gump. It is, really, a movie about a romance, that of Forrest and his Jenny. Great songs, too.

7. Have you ever received a Valentine’s Day card or gift from a secret admirer? How did it make you feel?

A. I have not ever received such a card, unless it was in kindergarten or some time like that, and I do not remember.

8. Is Valentine’s Day the most romantic day of the year? If not, what day is?

A. Any day is romantic if you make it so.

9. What is the most romantic thing you have done for another person?

A. I didn't argue when my husband wanted to buy a new tractor.

10. Valentine’s Day is promoted by companies whose only interest is making money. Discuss whether you agree or disagree.

A. I agree with this statement. All holidays in the U.S. are now nothing but money-making capitalistic dirt holes, aimed solely to part fools and their hard-earned cash.

11. Describe your perfect Valentine’s Day date.

A. He would sweep me off my feet and take me to the Library of Congress, where he would leave me there to ogle the books while he went to the zoo or something.

12. How should a single person spend Valentine’s Day? What do you suggest?

A. Spend it like you do any other day. The guilt or shame or whatever bad feelings are put there by society and are undeserved.

13. Do you enjoy playing cupid? Do you try to introduce people in the hope they will make a love match?

A. I do not do this.

14. Some restaurants charge higher prices on Valentine’s Day. Are you willing to pay more to dine out on this day?

A. No.

15. Is a romantic gesture more powerful on Valentine’s Day or on another day of the year?

A. No.

_______________

I encourage you to visit other participants in Sunday Stealing posts and leave a comment. Cheers to all us thieves who love memes, however we come by them.

Saturday 9: My Valentine

Saturday 9: My Valentine (2011)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) Paul McCartney sings that he won't let a day go by without remembering why he loves his valentine. What blessings are you thankful for today?

A. I am thankful for my husband, who braves the snow and ice outside to go feed the cattle and check the mail. I am thankful for my brother, who called me yesterday to see how I was, for my friends who call me, and for the fact that I was able to install Office 2007 on my new computer because I don't want to pay Microsoft $100 a year to use the newest version of Word.

2) Paul directed the video of Natalie Portman translating his song into American Sign Language (ASL), which is the third most commonly-used language in both the United States and Canada. British Sign Language (BSL), commonly used in EU countries, is very different. Do you find it easy to learn new languages?

A. I did when I was younger. Now that I am older and my brain is not so stretchy, I am not sure I would find it easy. (A very long time ago I could speak Spanish and Latin. Now I can't do either.)

3) The song is on Paul's Kisses on the Bottom CD, for which he won one of his 18 Grammy Awards. What compliment or accolade have you recently received?

A. A couple of folks liked my protest song I posted a while back.

4) Paul is an honorary NYPD detective. He was given this designation for performing a charity concert after 9/11. Do you know anyone in law enforcement?

A. Yes. My father was a policeman before he went into sales, and my brother-in-law is retired from the Virginia State Police.

5) Bob Dylan has said of Paul, "I'm in awe of McCartney. He's about the only one I'm in awe of. He can do it all. He never lets up. He's just so effortless." Tell us about someone whose talent you admire.

A. The husband of a close friend is a master woodworker. He makes beautiful pieces out of wood, most of which are out of my price range. I have a couple of bowls he made from wood that came from our property. You can read more about him at this blog post, which also has photos of his work.

This is the last Saturday  9 before Valentine's Day and so this morning we shall focus on the upcoming holiday.

6) The holiday is also known as The Feast of St. Valentine. Do you have a special meal planned for February 14?

A. No. We have ice on the ground, I have not been shopping, and it's the day the Daytona 500 runs. He will only be interested in the race and I can hardly eat anything, anyway.

7) The phrase "wear your heart on your sleeve" began in medieval times. On Valentine's Day, men would celebrate the holiday by displaying their lady love's name on their sleeves. If you were going to adopt this custom, whose name would you wear?

A. My husband's.

8) Women buy and send more Valentines than men do. Who received the last greeting card you sent?

A. My friend B.

9) Men buy and send more roses at Valentine's Day than women do. What's your favorite flower?

A. Iris. I like roses but I have always thought the iris was a beautiful flower. Unfortunately they don't last very long when they bloom.

______________

I encourage you to visit other participants in Saturday 9 posts and leave a comment. Because there are no rules, it is your choice. Saturday 9 players hate rules. We love memes, however.

Envious? Moi?

Q. Who makes you feel envious? What do they have/what are they doing that makes you feel that way? What do you think that means?

This feels like a loaded question, but I will take a stab at it. I am envious of Melissa Etheridge because she can play the guitar like it's a part of her. Watching her hands slide up and down the neck, her fingers easily finding the frets and the notes, without even looking - ah. It's beautiful to watch someone caress a guitar like that. 

It takes hours and hours of practice to know how to do that, time I did not devote to my instrument, so my envy is because I know deep down that the reason I can't play like that is because some part of me doesn't want to. But my goodness, she is a joy to watch when she performs.

I am also envious of Janet Evanovich. She writes the Stephanie Plum books. I saw a show on her, and she said she works 60 hours a week. She published and became famous because she works hard at it. I worked hard at my writing, but it was news reporting, and that does not make one rich or famous, especially when one writes for local publications and doesn't seek out better opportunities. I settled for the small potatoes and did not go looking for the meat.

Now that I have time, I am not working on long form writing. I still write articles occasionally and I write in my blog. But I can't bring myself to commit to something long.

If I examine both of these, I think it means that I want to be good at things without putting in the hard work first. I want to be a great guitar player without the practice, and I want to be writing best-selling novels without having written non-selling crap first.

Of course, the hard work must come first. I put in hard work on other things I want, so I can only assume that while I am envious of these two, the things they do are not really things I wish to accomplish, for whatever reason.

February Journal Prompts. Join up at Kwizgiver's. 

Thursday Thirteen: Just Say Yes

So today, what do I say yes to?

1. warmer weather, which is not here yet, but will soon be upon us.
2. efforts to combat climate change, regardless of how climate change is occurring, because we all need better air, clean water, and a lovely planet full of nature to live on and in and to enjoy.
3. a new computer, which arrived today, and which has been surprisingly easy to set up.
4. having wonderful friends who are anxious for me to get the Covid-19 vaccine.
5. calling my father with whatever information I can find so HE can get the vaccine.
6. more guitar playing and less computer gaming.
7. reading more books.
8. writing something or another.
9. loving my husband, my family, my friends.
10. enjoying my blog as a kind of life story in progress.
11. watching the birds at the feeder.
12. seeing deer in the glen
13. phone calls from my brother (and extras - )
14. wild turkeys in the front yard
15. holding hands with my husband

February Journal Prompts. Join up at Kwizgiver's. 

_____________

Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; there is a list here if you want to read other Thursday Thirteens and/or play along. I've been playing for a while and this is my 694th time to do a list of 13 on a Thursday. Or so sayth the Blogger counter, anyway.

Most Worried About?

One of my most recent worries, aside from the usual Covid-19 concerns, financial thoughts, and life goals, has been my health.

Since Thanksgiving, I have had stomach problems. I have lost 18 pounds without trying. I've no appetite, and have terrible reflux with most foods. About the only thing I can eat without much problem are eggs, ham sandwiches (no cheese), chicken, rice, peas, and Baked Lays potato chips.

Everything else causes me much aggravation. Not only that, this issue involves a weird mouth reaction - burning tongue, a sensation in my entire mouth at times that feels like I am chewing on molten glass, and a citric acid taste.

According to the GI doctor I saw last week, this is the result of reflux. He changed the timing of my medicine (a PPI), and sent me on my way with instructions to give it three weeks.

It has been one week and I've not seen improvement.

The weight loss is not a complaint, although my nutritional needs are a concern. My primary care doctor several weeks ago wondered if I would soon notice malnutrition issues due to not eating much, or only eating the same things.

To combat that, I drink a Boost every now and then, and I take vitamins.

Other things I have to deal with: bad TMJ (my jaw literally locks in place and can stay that way for most of the day, and it hurts like hell), high blood pressure, obesity, a bad heel, asthma, constant sinus issues, poor eyesight, chronic pain in my lower abdomen for multiple surgeries, a bad back, and general aches and pain due to aging. Add to this the fact that I cannot take pain medication because of my history of multiple ulcers, and well, you have a recipe for me. Or some of me, anyway.

I try not to write too much about my health on here, but this is the prompt for February 11, and I switched the one for today with tomorrow's, so I could use today's for Thursday 13.

February Journal Prompts. Join up at Kwizgiver's.

Just Say No

The prompt for today is to make a list of things you would like to say no to.

I would like to say no to free market capitalism. I think it is bad. It allows the strong to prey upon the weak, and it has demolished the middle class. We need regulations and oversight to protect one another from those who would be predators. They just found lead in baby food, for heavens sake. We have a whole generation of kids with lead in their heads. What will they be like in 20 years? Things need to be checked, regulated, and watched to ensure half the population doesn't die from e-coli in lettuce or that children aren't smashed in cribs, or that cars just die on the highway, causing horrific crashes. That is what regulations should do. Protect people. That includes regulating costs. For example, we pay more for our prescriptions than any other country in the world. Why is this allowed? Free market bullsh*t, that's why.

I would like to say no to the word "should." As in, I should get up off my butt and do this or that. I should have been, or should be, doing this or that, or be this or that. I should be better, smarter, stronger, healthier, happier, prettier, etc. etc. No, I shouldn't. I yam who I yam.

Say no to worrying. I worry over everything. Money, health, friends, family, this or that. I can worry over whether or not an asteroid is going to hit the planet. No to worries!

Let's also say no to organized religion. I know that will offend pert near everyone, but religion makes the whack-a-doodles even more whacky. It also perpetuates the patriarchy by putting men above women, and helps to create this sense of "other" that has festered and become a big pile of pus in the landscape of America. If people need to believe in something greater than themselves, that's their right, but they don't have the right to foist it upon me or anyone else. If everyone would keep this stuff to themselves and mind their own business, things would be better. I worship how I want, and I don't particularly care what people think. Nobody actually knows my "religion" because I've never spelled it out. At least, not that I can remember.

Additionally, let's say no to fascism, authoritarianism, totalitarianism, oligarchies, kleptocracies, and monarchies. (Say yes to looking those words up, even if one thinks one knows what they mean.)

Let's say no to the Electoral College.

Let's say no to children going hungry - to anybody going hungry - and to a minimum wage that's out of step with the times, to a world without a social safety net, and to plain ol' meanness.

Trying, Energized, and Tired

Two things I have always wanted to try are not at all related.

One is a climb to McAfee's Knob. It's on the Appalachian Trail and not far from me. It is, however, a six mile trek. I do well to make it around the grocery store. So unless I become more physically active, I don't see this happening.

The other is to have an office not in my house, a place of my very own. I took over one of the rooms that was to have been a bedroom when we had children, but since we were denied that opportunity, the rooms turned into other uses.

The small room had always been my office, because I freelanced even when I was working. I was also in school and needed a place to study.

In 1994, when I was having migraines for three days every two weeks and could not feasibly be employed, I started freelancing full time. The larger bedroom became my office. It has been my office now for 25 years. While it is easy to throw in a load of laundry, it is also a distraction.

This is particularly true now that my husband has retired and is home more. The fact that he is in the house makes me anxious after spending so much time alone here.

So I have always wanted an office of my own. A place to go and work. Logically and monetarily, it doesn't make sense, though.

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I feel most energized when I am writing on an article. This is particularly true if I know I'm breaking a story - the first to get the news out there. Tracking down leads, doing quick interviews, putting it all together, double-checking facts - it's a breathtaking undertaking. I did it well when I was doing it and I still enjoy the little I am doing. I'm not sure why I can't find this same enthusiasm for my own projects.

****

I feel most tired when I am at odds with myself. This is not the happy tired of having worked in the garden, or the happy tired of having cleaned something. This is the despair kind of tired that makes one wonder why one exists in the first place. That's a very tiring question to which there seems to be no answer.

These are the February Journal Prompts. Join up at Kwizgiver's.

 

Blue Screen of Death

Saturday evening, my computer went berserk.

The screen turned sideways. It wouldn't go back to normal.

Then I tried to shut it down and reboot, to see if that would fix it, and the thing wouldn't boot back up.

Finally, it booted up, but then it started into an error message loop.

The blue screen of death appeared.

Stop: Critical Process Died.

That's what it said. I had no idea what that meant. I pulled out the laptop and looked it up. Apparently this was an error that could be fixed if one knew what to look for. Maybe. While it was a known issue with Windows 10 early on, apparently it wasn't supposed to be one now.

The computer was a Dell 3847, and I'd bought it in 2015. At the time it had Windows 8 on it and I upgraded to Windows 10 when it came out.

I hated Windows 10 at first, as it was not stable, but with time it has seemed more reliable.

No matter what I tried, I could not bring my computer back from the blue screen of death and into Windows 10. Finally, I hit the Dell Repair that was supposed to save all of my documents, etc.

It brought the computer back to factory default. Windows 8.

And it lost all of my data, although I have it backed up to an external hard drive.

So while I can use this now, it's Windows 8, which I never liked.

Instead of spending $140 to get Windows 10, I have purchased a new Dell tower. It will arrive via UPS one of these days.

I couldn't see spending that much money on a six-year old computer just to get back to Windows 10.

O Blue Screen of Death, I know not why thou visited me.

But thou hast cost me money.

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing

1. Can you eat with chopsticks?

A. I don't know that I have ever tried.

2. Could you tell real money from counterfeit?

A. I can tell Monopoly money from real money.

3. What do you think about school uniforms?

A. I don't think about them. I am not in school.

4. What ancient civilization would you most like to visit?

A. Mesopotamia.

5. What would make a great new Crayola color?

A. Purple cow.

6. If an art project is created with the intent of getting rich and famous, does that cast doubt over its significance as a work of art?

A. No.

7. What do you get in trouble for the most?

A. Opening my mouth.

8. Do you blow your nose in public?

A. If I must. Generally, I try to find a restroom to do things like that.

9. If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?

A. To the very rich people.

10. Is it as easy to make you happy now as it was when you were a child?

A. I have never been a happy person.

11. Who knows more . . . you, or your parents?

A. I'm sure we each know more than the other about one thing or the other.

12. What instrument would you like to be famous for playing?

A. The guitar.

13. Would you have sex with a stranger for one million dollars?

A. No.

14. Are you completely in control of your body?

A. Usually.

15. What is the coolest web site you know of?

A. My own blog, of course.

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I encourage you to visit other participants in Sunday Stealing posts and leave a comment. Cheers to all us thieves who love memes, however we come by them.