Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen things I could talk about for a little while, and sound like I am sensible:

1. Writing nonfiction news articles.

2. Playing the guitar or other instruments.

3. How to stay with the same person for 40 years.

4. Virginia government and how it works (or rather, how it is supposed to work).

5. The history of Botetourt County.

6. Raising cattle.

7. The ins and outs of a septic tank.

8. How to thoroughly clean a house. (Not that I do, but I know how it should be done.)

9. Allergies or environmental sensitivities.

10. Endometriosis.

11. Fantasy television, movies, and/or books.

12. Dysfunctional families.

13. Journaling and why it can be helpful.

______________

Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; there is a list here if you want to read other Thursday Thirteens and/or play along. I've been playing for a while, and this is my 843rd time to do a list of 13 on a Thursday. Or so sayth the Blogger counter, anyway.

Havoc

Last year, frankly, was not a good year for us. Everything that could break, broke, or so it seemed. My husband was constantly patching tractors and other pieces of farm equipment. We replaced tires on both vehicles. We had to replace the heat pump and the furnace/air handler at the house. We had a drought and fretted over hay so much that our hay count is down to the smallest piece of dried straw that a cow could feasibly munch on. Vultures killed a calf.

We have a small home we rent out, a place I inherited from my mother, and things went wrong over there, too. This doohickey didn't work, some other thing-a-ma-bob didn't function. The well pump went out.

On and on it went all last year. One hopes that such luck doesn't follow one into the new year, but so far that isn't happening.

In the bitter cold, the pipes are frozen over at the small rental home. Or perhaps not the pipes, but the actual well pump itself, we're not sure yet. We've owned this home for over 20 years, and up until last year, never had a problem with pipes freezing. (They froze and burst during the horrid Christmas cold of 2022; perhaps that was the beginning of this run of tortuous bad luck.) Now it appears every time the temperatures drop into the teens, we are going to be heading over there with a blow torch, and we don't know what changed to create this problem.

Additionally, the cattle waterers froze during the night, and my husband will have to check those every few hours until the weather warms up, which won't be until next week.

The only good thing is, knock wood, the electrical power has thus far stayed on, and the expected high winds did not materialize - yet.

I am useless in these situations and can do little to help my poor old husband. The best thing I can do is stay out of his way and fix his lunch.

But I fret. I worry about my husband being out in the cold. I worry about whatever is wrong. I worry about the cattle. 

Come on 2024. Do your thing and smooth out the rough seas!

Snowy Woods

 

We ended up with about 4 inches of snow. The forecast was for much less, but that's ok. Unfortunately, the winds are supposed to howl in the next several hours and I've already seen some blowing snow, so we will have to deal with drifts in the driveway.

But it is a lovely snow and one that I don't think will be here for long, even though we're expecting very cold temperatures soon. I just hope there is enough snow left from the blowing winds to melt in the ground to help out with the drought.

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing

1. What is your favorite part of the day?

A. I like sunrise and sunset for taking photos. I like bedtime when I am tired. I like the hours between 10 and 2 when I have a project to work on.

2. What is something you know a lot about?

A. I know how to write an article. I know how to manage household finances. I know how to stay married for 40 years. 

3. Name an important person in your life.

A. My husband, of course. 

4. What is your favorite recipe?

A. I don't really have one, but it might be the recipe I use for meatloaf. It has no tomato in it.

5. Write about an event that turned out differently than planned.

A. My college graduation in 1993 did not go as I expected. Lots of people came to see me graduate, but then they all left, and I couldn't find anyone, not even my husband, as a massive amount of people milled around the front quad at the college. Finally, I went to the car and stood there crying until my husband showed up. He told me everyone had left as soon as they said my name. His mother was having a luncheon for me, so I had to come home and redo my makeup before I went over there, since I has blubbered all over myself. The luncheon was nice, though.

6. How do you procrastinate?

A. I play on the computer instead of using it for writing.

7. What is the best type of surprise?

A. The kind that doesn't scare the bejeesuz out of you.

8. List music that helps you relax.

A. I like to listen to Sheryl Crow when I am relaxing (her earlier work, not the country stuff). I also like to listen to Bread to relax.

9. Name a thing your life has in excess.

A. Clutter. I need to do some decluttering.

10. Name a book you want to read.

A. Democracy Awakening, by Heather Cox Richardson

11. Name a person you’re always happy to see.

A. My brother.

12. What time do you go to sleep?

A. Sometime after 10 p.m.

13. What word describes the past year?

A. Ok. It was an OK year.

14. What is your favorite household chore?

A. I don't mind folding the laundry.

15. What is one thing you’d like to see?

A. The Great Pyramids. I've always wanted to see them in person.

__________

I encourage you to visit other participants in Sunday Stealing posts and leave a comment. Cheers to all us thieves who love memes, however we come by them.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Hotel California (1977)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

 

1) In this song, Don Henley called the hotel's front desk and asked, "Please bring me my wine." He was told they haven't had wine since 1969. When did you last have a glass of wine?

A. I last had a drink of wine in 2012. My professor in my creative writing class I was in for my master's degree brought a bottle of blackberry wine to our final class, and I had a little then. I normally do not drink alcohol.

2) The lyrics refer to wine as a "spirit." That is incorrect. Wines are fermented, not distilled, and have a lower alcohol content than spirits. When "Hotel California" was popular, listeners who were into wine called radio stations to let them know about the mistake. Are you a wine aficionado? Are any of your friends or family knowledgeable about wine?

A. I am not a wine aficionado. However, I will tell a tale on myself. My father made wine when I was a teenager. I had a difficult time then, and I would take half of one of his bottles to drink and fill the rest back up with water. I remember waiting until he thought the wine was ready and wondering if he'd realize what I'd done. He pronounced his creation to be really "sweet tasting" and good. I suppose watered-down wine would taste sweet. I stopped drinking alcohol when I was 19.

3) In the song, Henley sings about looking for the door that will take him "back to the place I was before." Don says that refers to a loss of innocence and a longing for a simpler time. When you think about "the good old days," where does your mind wander to?

A. I don't really have any "good old days" to think back on, to be perfectly honest. I might consider my time playing in the Top 40 band I was in during high school to be a highlight, or my time at Hollins College (now Hollins University) to be "the good old days," I suppose.

 

4) With five #1 singles, six #1 albums, and six Grammy awards, it's generally agreed that the Eagles were one of the most popular groups of the 1970s. Which decade produced most of your favorite songs?

A. I listen to mostly 1970s songs, with Melissa Etheridge and Sheryl Crow from the early 1990s thrown in for good measure.

 

5) The Eagles were formed in 1971 when four of them happened to find themselves hired to play back up for Linda Ronstadt. The men found they really hit off and wanted to keep working together when the gig with Linda was up. Tell us about how you met someone important in your life.

A. I think everyone knows I met my husband at a football game. I will tell you how I met my friend Brenda, who is no longer with us. We worked together at the historic museum for a while, but we were not friends. I was trying to get things on the computer and the museum director wanted the inventory done by hand. I tried to get Brenda to back me up, but she wanted no part of any confrontation, and did not. I ended up leaving the job. Later, Brenda and I were in a historic society together, and she took over as president after I did. I stepped down because my mother was ill. Then Brenda's mother unexpectedly passed away that same year. That created a bond between us, and we became friends.

 

6) The Eagles are still on the road, filling big arenas for their Long Goodbye tour. One explanation for their enduring popularity is that their music spans genres. They scored hits on the rock, pop and country charts. Other popular categories of music include classical, gospel, jazz, Latin, reggae, New Age, and rap. Which do you listen to most often? Which did you listen to most recently?

A. I was listening to soft pop from the 1970s.

 

7) In 1976, when "Hotel California" was topping the charts, the trend in home decor was vibrant. Intense copper, bright pink and vivid avocado were among the popular colors for bath towels, mats and shower curtains that year. If we were to peek into your 2024 bathroom(s), what colors would we find?

A. Gray and white.

 

8) Handbags were big in 1976. Not just in popularity but in size. Purses routinely had compartments on the inside and pockets on the outside. When you leave the house, do you travel light? Or do you prefer to carry a lot with you?

A. I have a handbag that is spacious but not full. I have to have room for an asthma inhaler and those small clutches generally aren't big enough to handle one of those.

9) Random question -- How different is your life today than it was a year ago: (a) a lot; (b) a little); (c) not at all?

A. (b) A little.

_______________

I encourage you to visit the posts of other participants in Saturday 9 and leave a comment. Because there are no rules, it is your choice. Saturday 9 players hate rules. We love memes, however. 

It's All About Control

One of the hazards of being a news junkie and a former news reporter is that I know where to look for stuff. Today I spent time looking through the more than 1,000 bills that the Virginia Legislature will look at over the next 60 days.

This one stood out:

HB 217 Physicians; informed consent, disclosure of certain info. prior to hysterectomy or oophorectomy.

Introduced by: Robert D. Orrock, Sr. | all patrons    ...    notes | add to my profiles

SUMMARY AS INTRODUCED:

Physicians; informed consent; disclosure of certain information prior to hysterectomy or oophorectomy. Requires physicians to obtain informed consent from a patient prior to performing a hysterectomy or oophorectomy. Prior to obtaining informed consent, physicians must inform the patient of the patient's freedom to withhold or withdraw consent, refer the patient to the Hysterectomy Educational Resources and Services (HERS) Foundation, and provide the patient with anatomical diagrams relevant to the procedure. The bill allows physicians to forego obtaining informed consent when a hysterectomy or oophorectomy is performed in a life-threatening emergency situation.

Here's the bill:

HOUSE BILL NO. 217Offered January 10, 2024Prefiled January 4, 2024

A BILL to amend the Code of Virginia by adding a section numbered 54.1-2971.2, relating to physicians; informed consent; disclosure of certain information prior to hysterectomy or oophorectomy.

----------Patron-- Orrock----------Referred to Committee on Health and Human Services----------

Be it enacted by the General Assembly of Virginia:

1. That the Code of Virginia is amended by adding a section numbered 54.1-2971.2 as follows:

§ 54.1-2971.2. Informed consent for hysterectomy and oophorectomy procedures.

A. Except as provided in subsection C, before a physician performs a hysterectomy or an oophorectomy, the physician shall obtain oral and written informed consent from the patient. The informed consent procedure must ensure that, at least two weeks before the patient signs the consent form, the patient is provided with:

1. Notice that the patient is free to withhold or withdraw consent to the procedure at any time before the hysterectomy or oophorectomy without affecting the patient's right to future care or treatment and without loss or withdrawal of any state or federally funded program benefits to which the patient might be otherwise entitled.

2. Referral to the Hysterectomy Educational Resources and Services (HERS) Foundation and the HERS website.

3. A color copy of the following diagrams:

a. The female pelvic organs.

b. Supporting structures of the female pelvic organs.

c. Nerve supply to the uterus and ovaries.

d. Arteries and veins that provide blood supply to the female pelvic organs.

B. The patient shall sign a written statement before the hysterectomy or oophorectomy is performed indicating that the patient read and understood the information provided under subsection A and that the patient's attending physician and surgeon, or the attending physician's and surgeon's designee or designees, discussed this information with the patient. The statement must indicate that the patient's attending physician or the physician's designee advised the patient that the hysterectomy or oophorectomy will render the patient permanently sterile and incapable of having children.

C. The informed consent procedure under this section shall not be required when the hysterectomy or oophorectomy is performed in a life-threatening emergency situation in which the attending physician determines prior written informed consent is not possible.

The member of the legislature who introduced this bill is, of course, a Republican. The HERS website is anti-hysterectomy. I'm not saying every woman should have a hysterectomy, but I sure don't think there are hordes of women knocking on the doors of gynecologists asking for hysterectomies. Forcing women to view this website, which I have briefly reviewed and found to be deficit in information and certainly partisan, is all about control. I sure don't see legislature saying that men who want vasectomies or need a prostrate surgery or something have to go sign consent forms and view pictures of their anatomy before the procedure can take place.

I looked at the section on endometriosis, since that is what I had. The website offers no solutions for endometriosis except menopause. Was I to have suffered for 20 more years? I was in so much pain from my endometriosis that I couldn't function. Until I had my hysterectomy, and the pain was gone, I had no idea how bad the pain was. I don't know how I managed to even get out of bed, considering what I was living with.
Sure, now I am having additional problems from scar tissue and I'm almost back to where I was 30 years ago following that botched gallbladder surgery in 2013. Yes, some of that is related to the hysterectomy, but it's also related to the endometriosis and the vast amount of scarring I had. But I am grateful for the 20 years I had without so much pain, and if I must go on living with pain now, then that's my lot in life.

But at least I had the 20 years of no pain, and that's something I am grateful for.

And by the way, this should be a decision between a woman and her doctor. Why the hell is the state even trying to dictate what a woman does or doesn't do with her ovaries?

Thursday Thirteen

Time doesn't always seem to be on our side, but sometimes we can find time when we're not exactly hunting for it. If you find yourself with a minute to spare, here are 13 things you can do with that little bitty span of time. It might help you get something done!

1. Make your bed. Really. It doesn't take that long.

2. Brush your teeth or floss. Good dental hygiene is important!

3. Drink a glass of water. Staying hydrated helps you think and keeps your muscles working.

4. Stretch your body. Try touching your toes and just holding it there for a minute. It will make your lower back feel better!

5. Write a thank-you note. They don't have to be elaborate. Just do it!

6. Meditate. Focus on your breathing. You can actually feel your breath enter your nose if you pay attention.

7. Read a page of a book. Or two, if you're a fast reader. (This one could trip me up if I have someplace to go and I get involved in the book too quickly.)

8. Sing a song. And do a little shimmy while you sing!

9. Fold your clothes. Like making your bed, this is a chore that doesn't take as long as it seems. I think dreading it takes longer than actually doing it.

10. Delete unwanted emails or clear out your spam folder. Everybody has unwanted emails!

11. Learn a new word. I really like this one. Learning is good!

12. Compliment someone. You'll make somebody's day.

13. Smile 😊. A good smile never hurts.

______________

Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; there is a list here if you want to read other Thursday Thirteens and/or play along. I've been playing for a while, and this is my 842nd time to do a list of 13 on a Thursday. Or so sayth the Blogger counter, anyway.

Birds Again

 

I Close My Eyes

Back when I had insomnia and would often wake at strange hours and not return to sleep, I tried many things to bring rest to my weary head.

I would get up, pace, watch TV, read a little. Sometimes I laid there, drifting in and out in some kind of conscious-but-not sort of wakefulness. I worried about whatever was going on. What would happen if X did Y or Q did T or thus and such and who cared, anyway?

Apparently, I did at the time, but not so much that I remember those worries. They only seemed important in the moment.

Worrying doesn't solve anything, although many times my worry turns into a plan: if X happens, I'll do Y. If the interviewer says Q, I'll say W. Or whatever. If you can make worrying turn into something positive, like a plan of action, then it's not so bad.

Overall though, worrying, especially at night, is not good.

I still worry. Perhaps once a worrier, always a worrier, but my worries no longer keep me awake at night. In fact, I sleep fairly well these days. I usually get up only once during the night, and I generally go right back to sleep.

Occasionally, though, I do find that I can't go to sleep right away. I have a little house in my head that I visit when I can't sleep. I start on the steps, which is a count, then I go in and begin examining the room, item by item, inch by inch, after envisioning an overall version of it. Usually after a few "objects" have come under scrutiny, I drop on off to sleep.

There are whole books about what to do if you can't sleep, so I'm not giving advice. I do imagery; some folks might fall asleep mid-prayer, I don't know. Everyone has to do what works for them.

***

Last night I watched part of a documentary on Nikki Giovani (her website is not up to date). Giovani retired in 2022 from Virginia Tech, where she'd been a professor since 1987. 

One of the parts that made me laugh was when she went after Rudolph, the Red Nosed Reindeer. She wanted to know why Santa and Mrs. Claus didn't do something about all those reindeer making fun or Rudolph and calling him names. She went on to say that if she'd been Rudolph, when Santa asked for the big favor in the foggy snow, she'd have said something akin to "F&ck you, Santa." 

I confess I have always thought the same thing about the Santa in Rudolph. He really wasn't a very nice guy. He was a bit nasty to the elves and not especially jolly.

Additionally, the footage of Blacks living in America made me think about how many Americas there are actually are here in the United States. I'm going to state that I think there are about 300 million Americas here, one for each person. Because everyone is different, and everyone thinks differently, and while many of us may have similarities in how we were raised, still, we're all different. We differ by race, we differ by class, we differ by gender. We have Black America, White America, rich, poor, middle class. Men, women, and those with gender identity concerns. We are indeed a melting pot, and it's far too late to put that lid back on and keep that pot from boiling over.

Which is, of course, what is happening now. Some are trying to put the lid on the pot, and that lid isn't going back on. We can't turn the clock back to the 1950s or the 1890s or whatever year it is that some people want to return to. This is 2024.

A whole new year, a whole new time. Old ways of thinking need to move aside.

If that means I'm "woke," I'm woke. I don't always like change - I worry about it when it is happening - but I don't always hide from it, either.

Icy Saturday

We had ice on Saturday, until the afternoon, when it mostly melted. We had a 3/4 inch of rain. We are still in a drought situation, so the rain, in whatever form, is welcome.

Snow would have been nicer, though.

Sunday Stealing

I answered these questions last week. The link is here if you want to read them.

Saturday 9: Start of Something

Saturday 9: This Could Be the Start of Something (1959)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

Welcome to the first Saturday 9 of 2024.

 

 

1) We're beginning the year with an optimistic song about starting something new. Right now, are you feeling positive about 2024?

A. No, I am not feeling positive about 2024.

 

2) In this song, Jack Jones sings that because he's on a diet he declines a rich dessert. Are you trying to lose a few pounds after the holidays?

A. I am trying to eat better. If I lose weight, that would be a bonus. My doctor would turn cartwheels if I could get my cholesterol down.

3) The specific dessert referred to is a Charlotte Russe, a cake made with custard, fruit, cream, whiskey and gelatin. Preparation sounds like a great deal of work! What's the most recent dish you whipped up in your kitchen?

A. A sandwich. I am not good at "whipping up" dishes. Probably the last thing I "whipped up" was a meatloaf that I made the week after Christmas.

4) The lyrics contrast dining at Sardi's in New York with sunbathing in Malibu. Do you enjoy nightlife or are you more outdoorsy?

A. I do not enjoy nightlife nor am I outdoorsy. I am read-a-book-in-a-cozy-chair-y.

5) This week's song was written by Steve Allen. While best known for his work on TV (he was the first host of The Tonight Show), he was also a composer who felt most creative at the piano. When do you feel most creative?

A. Generally, between the hours of 10 a.m. and 2 p.m., and sometimes at night after I've dreamed.

 

6) This week's artist, Jack Jones, won a pair of Grammy Awards and has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Yet he's probably best known for singing the song that welcomed travelers aboard The Love Boat every week. What TV theme song can you sing along with?

A. Gilligan's Island. I am sure there are others, I just can't think of them right now. I used to be able to whistle the theme to the Andy Griffith Show but my whistler doesn't whistle that well anymore. I can still whistle it, but it is very soft.

 

7) In 1959, when this song was popular, "continuing dramas" (aka soap operas) like Young Dr. Malone and Ma Perkins were broadcast daily on the radio. When you turn on the radio, do you listen for news, talk or music?

A. I listen to the talk and news on NPR, and I listen to other stations for music.

8) Now let's turn the calendar and our attention from 1959 to 2024. Is there a skill you're looking forward to learning, or improving, this year?

A. I hope to write more, and play guitar more, and perhaps learn something new in either skill. (A friend wants me to write a screenplay. I have no idea how to write a screenplay, so that would be learning something new in an old skill.) I may go crazy and learn something completely new at some point, but at the moment I have no clue what that would be.

9) Have you purchased anything on impulse yet this year?

A. Yes. I bought a pair of knit gloves at CVS, and I bought a box of Cella's chocolate covered cherries at the grocery store. I regret neither.

_______________

I encourage you to visit the posts of other participants in Saturday 9 and leave a comment. Because there are no rules, it is your choice. Saturday 9 players hate rules. We love memes, however. 

By My Bed

Most of us have a bedside table of some kind, I suppose. Ours came with the bedroom suite that we purchased around 1991. The suite is dark cherry, made by Virginia House, a now-defunct local company that made great furniture back in the day. We got one of the last sets to come out of the place before some larger company took them over. The dark cherry is a bit out of place in the house, because everything else is golden oak.

Nevertheless, this was the suite we bought and have we each will probably die in the bed, or that's our hope, anyway.

We each have a bedside table. Here's what you'd find on and in mine:

A touch lamp.

A box of tissues.

Medication.

A bottle of water.

A box that holds a pair of scissors, a flashlight, a small notebook, a pen, and a paper towel.

 

In the drawers, you would find:

Old watches that no longer work.

Medication.

Nail files.

Nail clippers.

Allergy masks.

A dental mouth guard.

A dream catcher.

A small box with old jewelry in it.

A Slinky.

You'd also see that at the bottom of my bedside table, there is an indentation in the wood from something. It's from a step that I used to use to climb into the bed. The mattress sits very high up off the floor, and I can't get into it without a step stool. The block I used to use rubbed against the bedside table and left a place before I realized what was happening.

I wonder what that bedside table says about me.

Thursday Thirteen

Some songs stick with you not because of the entire song, but because of a line or two. Here are 13 lines from songs that have stuck with me. Do you recognize them?

1. "And I need you more than want you, and I want you for all time."

2. "For I've been lonely, in need of someone, as though I'd done someone wrong somewhere, but I don't know where."

3. "To believe in this living is just a hard way to go."

4. "I've done my best, it wasn't much. I couldn't feel, so I learned to touch. I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool you."

5. "Have you ever seen the rain coming down on a sunny day?"

6. "I'm just another writer, still trapped within my truth."

7. "And the river she rises just like she used to do. She's so full of surprises, she reminds me of you."

8. "Teach the children quietly for some day sons and daughters will rise up and fight while we stood still."

9. "Now that she's back from that soul vacation tracing her way through the constellation, she checks out Mozart while she does Tae-bo, reminds me that there's room to grow."

10. "Somewhere, somehow, somebody must've kicked you around some."

11. "We went searching through thrift store jungles. Found Geronimo's rifle, Marilyn's shampoo, and Benny Goodman's corset and pen."

12. "They would not listen, they did not how. Perhaps they'll listen now."

13. "Just remember in the winter, far beneath the bitter snow, lies the seed that with the sun's love, in the spring becomes the rose."

Answers:

1. Wichita Lineman, Glenn Campbell

2. Play Me, Neil Diamond

3. Angel From Montgomery, John Prine (performed by Bonnie Raitt)

4. Hallelujah, Leonard Cohen

5. Have You Ever Seen the Rain, by CCR

6. Sometimes When We Touch, by Dan Hill

7. Heart of the Night, by Poco

8. Silent Running, by Mike & the Mechanics

9. Drops of Jupiter, by Train

10. Refugee, Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers

11. If It Makes You Happy, Sheryl Crow

12. Vincent (Starry Starry Night), by Don McLean

13. The Rose, by Bette Midler

______________

Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; there is a list here if you want to read other Thursday Thirteens and/or play along. I've been playing for a while, and this is my 841st time to do a list of 13 on a Thursday. Or so sayth the Blogger counter, anyway.

I Am Nighttime

I do not like to wake at 5 a.m. and start the day. Nor do I like going to bed early (though I do, it's a marital compromise). 

When my husband worked a 24-hour shift as a firefighter, I frequently stayed up until 2 a.m. reading a book. I would get up about 7 a.m., regardless, but I did not - and still do not - hit my stride until about 10 a.m.

Then, I am at my best. When I was working hard at my freelancing, I did my best writing during the hours of 10 and 2, with an energy drop after 3 p.m.

Later, after dinner, often I would hit another upswing, and the nights my husband wasn't home might find me at the computer writing and working again in a second round, sometimes until the wee morning hours, if I had a deadline.

In this way, I could pump out 30+ articles a month. My rhythms are different.

I am not necessarily a nighttime person, but I also not a morning person. My life and my moods, though, are more like the moon.

I do not ever recall shining as brilliantly as the sun. My husband does that - for me, anyway, he's like a brilliant spot of sunshine.

There have been days when I may have shone as brilliantly as a supermoon on the cusp of moonrise. But not often.

I am moody. I am dark. I tend to see not progress, but regression. The cup half empty, not half full. I roam around through life with my eyes blinded sometimes, unable to see what I need to and yet sensing and knowing so much more than many others. I have always been able to make massive leaps from point A to point M and on to Z without too much effort. I can see how the puzzle pieces fit together in almost any given situation. I catch the meanings that others miss.

But the darkness does overcome me much more frequently than it should. Even though there are experts who do not believe children have problems with depression, I would say to them, "You are wrong." I have been depressed for as long as I can remember, and these days the doctor calls it dysthymia - long, drawn out depression that doesn't stop me in my tracks - I have never let it stop me completely - but which keeps me from enjoying many things.

I wane and wax like the moon, sometimes shriveling up until I am the new moon, a total darkness where the stars can best be seen. Only I do not see the stars until the moon begins waxing again. I know that the turn will come, it's just a question of when. When will I be a full moon again?

My husband was forewarned of this before we married, before I said yes to the question. I told him about my moods. Even at 20, I knew I had mood swings that could be difficult. I made sure he experienced them.

He married me anyway. Despite my eternal sadness, my constant emptiness, and the damnable feelings of unworthiness that have plagued me always, he smiled at me, lifted me, and married me.

I may be a creature of the night, but I am indeed a lucky one.

He Is Morning

My husband is a morning person. He's also a fairly jolly guy, not prone to moodiness or depression, and generally a happy fellow.

He has a sunny disposition and if things bother him, he doesn't show it. He doesn't mope around or talk about the things that are on his mind. He goes about his business, doing whatever it is he has set up for the day.

He comes in at lunch time for a meal and a kiss. I fix him a sandwich, usually, because that is all he wants. Some days we do eat salads, because we're adults and are supposed to be eating healthy things like that.

Before he retired, he used to get up around 5 a.m. almost every day.

When we married, those many decades ago, I determined I was going to be the good, dutiful wife and wake up with him and fix him breakfast before he went off to the fire station or to help his dad on the farm.

This lasted about two weeks.

One morning, I woke to fix him breakfast and stumbled into the kitchen, all bleary eyed and barely awake. I got a dozen eggs out of the refrigerator and . . . splat! I dropped them, and they broke all over the floor.

I took one look at them and burst into tears. He laughed and told me to go back to bed. "You don't have to fix my breakfast," he said.

And from then on, I did not. Nor did I get out of bed at 5 a.m. He would wake me before he left to offer me a goodbye kiss, and generally then I would wake up and rise from my bed. He didn't do any other things that I could see aside from fix himself breakfast and leave the dishes for me to clean up - but he doesn't like a lot of breakfast, anyway, and these days he is happy with a piece a toast or a few sausage links, or something like that, for breakfast.

He has taken to fixing us breakfast on Saturday and Sunday in the last year, something that surprised me. He fries a good egg. He also has bacon.

He's a morning person, my guy is.

My Morning Person

Happy New Year!

Here it is - the time for new beginnings. Diets, exercise, eat right - all of that stuff - becomes the focus for about two weeks, and then lags off and people go back to living as they did previously. Two weeks of salad is good, right?

I do not make resolutions - I don't see the point - but I do have some things I'd like to accomplish or do in the next 12 months.

For one thing, I think I badly need a vacation. Some time away might do wonders for my mood.

I also want to stop playing on the computer so much, unless I'm actually writing something (like this blog) or working on the bookkeeping. It's too bad, really, that I simply cannot find interest in crafts like knitting and crocheting, at least, enough to go into another room and do it. Those types of activities do not interest me. I don't know why. I don't do them well, but I am not bad at them, either.

I would like to see my county government figure out what it is doing. So far, apparently, they've given free rein to anyone with money to build anything they want. The southern end of the county, where the grocery stores are, is getting messy. 

And as for me, I'd like to be settled. Not happy, or even content. Just calmer and settled. Healthier and less anxious. That's all.

Just a few little tweaks here and there. Or maybe big ones. Who knows?

Anyway, happy new year to everyone, and thank you so much for reading me. I know everyone's time is valuable, and I am humbled that you choose to spend a few minutes reading my words from time to time.

May you be blessed.