Friends

Ever since I learned that an old high school friend passed away, I've been thinking about friendship.

I do not think I am a good friend. I try hard to be a good friend, but I've had so many people pass through my life, I think it is safe to say that unless I am supposed to be learning an awful lot from a vast amount of people, many of whom I can barely remember, then I likely am not a good friend.

Many articles claim to know what makes a good friend. It depends on the person, the times, the types of people involved, though. I don't think one can make blanket claims as to whether this person is a good friend or a bad friend, although I just made such a claim about myself, I suppose. Everyone is different and so each relationship is different, and must be counted on its own merits. It does no good to try to compare people, one to another.

However, I have friends. Close friends. Acquaintances. Dear friends. Long-distance friends. Long-term friends. Friends with whom I once was quite close but now they're in another category. People come and go, sometimes quickly, sometimes not.

My friend from high school was not a long-term friendship in that we remained friends as adults. Friendly toward one another, yes, the few times we happened to meet, but not friends. She did not call me and I didn't call her. Many people I know from both high school and college fall into this category. We were friends, we would speak and be friendly if we saw one another in the supermarket, but we don't call, text, or much else. Maybe we make an occasional comment on a Facebook post, if that.

However, some of those relationships can turn. I was quite friendly with one of my high school teachers, and we have stayed in touch all of these years. For a long time we exchanged Christmas cards and that was the extent of it, but after she retired, we began to eat lunch together occasionally. We email and text. Sometimes we talk on the phone. It's a nice, easy relationship with no expectations, but I am always glad to hear from this person. She's also someone I turn to occasionally for advice.

I have over 500 Facebook friends. These people are not all my "friends." They are people I know. Some are people I barely know. Maybe I met them in passing, or I wrote an article on their great-aunt. Sometimes I'm not sure how I know someone, I simply recognize a name or face.

My husband and I are friends as well as spouses. I think friendship in a marriage is essential if the relationship is going to survive the inevitable up and downs of life. If you're not friends with the person you are in love with, what exactly do you have?

One of my longest friendship dates back to 1983. Leslie and I worked together, and co-workers in general are a class of friends in and of themselves. Generally, once you leave a workplace, those friendships end. Oh, there may be a phone call or two after you've left the building, but those relationships dissolve quickly. Fortunately, Leslie and I had a lot in common outside of work, and we've remained friends all of these years. There were times when we were not close, particularly when I was working in downtown Roanoke and attending college in the early 1990s, but we have always had a good friendship.

Other friendships continue but have changed. Walls went up, maybe on both of our parts, and there you go. Those walls are hard to bring down once they are in place.

I have another friend who is like a sister. We have known each other for about 10 years. I knew the moment we met that we would be friends. She's a helper friend, in that she likes to help out and is good in emergencies.

My brother is also my friend. It is a complicated relationship because we are siblings, but I consider him a friend as well as my brother. I can't say that about many other family members, that they are also my friends. Some are just the roles they have been assigned - aunt, cousin - whatever.

I have friends online, too. I have people I am in touch with that I met online back in the 1990s and still have some connection to, mostly through Facebook. These people are not "real life" friends, I suppose, but they are in my life. Peripheral friends, for the most part. I did have a daily communication with a person that I cared about deeply, but it seems to have ended. I guess in the end it was only a lot of words, and "I'm sorry" is not in her vocabulary. 

Many people are incapable of apologizing, I've learned. This is generally true of men, but some women refuse to acknowledge any fault or otherwise confirm that they have contributed to an issue in a relationship. I assume always that I have a 50% share in whatever happens, but I don't take 100% credit for it anymore. At one time, I think I did that, I took on all the blame if a relationship failed, but it takes two to make or break a friendship. Response to incidents is everything.

My old friend from high school, the one who passed away, left me a note in my senior annual that said our relationship was "on thin ice" at the time she wrote. I do not remember issues between us. I only recall good times and adventures we shared, some of which were probably not the best idea at the time, but we were young and it was part of growing up in the 1970s. She also signed the entry in my annual as "Toots" and I never knew why, because not once did I call her that. Then I graduated high school and she was a year younger than I, and so we naturally grew apart.

I prefer it when relationships end on a good note. A general growing apart is acceptable because people change; the things we need from one another may change. No one person can be everything to someone, and people needs friends of all kinds in order to live a nice rounded life.

Part of what we've all been missing during this pandemic is the nice rounded life we had before, where we said "Hi" to the checkout clerk who wasn't a friend but who was friendly, or to the ladies in the book club that you haven't seen in over a year, with whom you are friendly but not exactly close friends, or anyone else for that matter because I've been stuck in my house basically since November 22, 2019, when my husband had his ankle surgery and then we went straight from that to a pandemic.

These are melancholy thoughts, I think. The pandemic has made me a little crazy, along with everyone else. 

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing

1. You have just been hired to clean your own home, what is your first complaint?

A. I'm not getting paid enough! I don't do windows! I don't clean books, either. Nobody reads that much; these should all be tossed out.

2. Are you able to ignore a ringing telephone?

A. Yes. I do it all the time.

3. How often do you allow a ringing phone to go to voice mail?

A. Frequently. If I know the number, I pick up. Otherwise, it often goes to voicemail.

4. Do you answer your cell phone, out in public, every time it rings? Or do you silence it and get back to it when you’re in a more private area?

A. I generally do not answer it in public, unless I am alone and expecting a call from my husband. I seldom answer my phone if I am out with a friend. My friend deserves my attention. My cellphone does not.

5. How often would you say you’re on your home phone? Your cell phone?

A. I average about 31 minutes a week on my cellphone, according to the thing the iPhone offers on Sundays. I probably spend an hour a day on average on the house phone.

6. Do you like talking on the phone or do you view it as a necessary communication tool?

A. I don't mind it. I'd rather talk than text or video chat.

7. When did you last go for a bike ride?

A. A very long time ago.

8. Do you own a bike?

A. Not any more.

9. Given the most popular New Year’s resolution of losing weight, would you consider putting bicycle riding as one of your exercise options? Why or why not?

A. Stationary bikes are difficult. They make your butt hurt, which is why I think they do not get used much. Regular bike riding on these rural roads requires courage I lack.

10. If you had to name a smell that always makes you nostalgic, what would it be? What sorts of memories does the smell evoke?

A. The smell of someone getting a permanent in their hair always makes me think of my grandmother, who would haul us kids once a week up to her sister's house, where she'd give her a homemade perm.

11. What did you do over the weekend? No detail is too small. This is your journal, so tell us about the mundane tasks in your life.

A. I changed the bed linens. I watched one of my favorite poets read poetry in a Zoom meeting. I played video games. I fixed a salad for lunch for my husband and me. I wrote in my blog. I read blogs. I showered. I did laundry. I listened to disco music and classical music. I read the newspaper. This is just on Saturday, mind you.

12. If it weren’t for my blog, I’d _________.

A. Probably not write as much.

13. When was the last time you replied “because I said so”? Do you find yourself saying that a lot? Or do you prefer to tell people WHY you want them to do something for you.

A. I don't know that I have ever replied with "because I said so" to anybody. Maybe my husband but no specific incident comes to mind.

14. What is the worst gift you’ve ever received?

A. I've never received an awful gift. My husband gave me a vacuum for Christmas one year and that didn't go over well.

15. Tell us the worst gift you’ve ever given. What was the reaction of the recipient?

A. I don't know what that might have been. I'm sure over the years I gave older people useless things that to me did not seem so useless but to them surely was. I imagine it went into a drawer. Now that I am one of the older folks, I can see how  useless the things we give to other people may be sometimes. The best presents are food, clothing (if you know the sizes), books or music, and stamps. You can rarely go wrong with any of those.

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I encourage you to visit other participants in Sunday Stealing posts and leave a comment. Cheers to all us thieves who love memes, however we come by them.

Saturday 9: The Bones

Saturday 9: The Bones (2019)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) The lyrics compare a relationship to a house, saying that despite superficial problems like peeling paint or broken glass, the foundation can still be solid and strong. What home improvement project is next on your list?

A. We are in a mild decluttering phase, but it is moving slowly. Nothing big on the horizon.

2) Maren Morris sings that she knows she and her lover can face any storm. Are you afraid of thunder and lightening?

A. I love storms. I have yet to capture lightning on my camera. It's a goal.

3) The video for this song shows Maren and her husband, singer/songwriter Ryan Hurd, on the beach in Maui. Would you rather go for a long walk along a beach or a hike in the woods?

A. The beach is easier walking for an old fart like me now. I used to love to hike in the the woods, though.

 

4) "The Bones" won Morris and her collaborators (Jimmy Robbins and Laura Veltz) the 2020 CMA "Song of the Year" Award. Here's your chance to pat yourself on the back. What's something you have done well lately? (Go ahead. We want to hear about it!)

A. My accomplishments during the pandemic year include: I no longer bite my nails (but I keep them cut very short). I lost 20 pounds (because I was sick). I have read 22 books so far in 2021. I have a poem coming out in Artemis. I've written articles for the local online paper.

5) The song was also nominated for a Grammy for Best Country Song. For the awards show last month, Maren put a lot of work into her look, including lightening her hair and lipstick and reshaping her brows. She was surprised when saw on social media that people confused her with reality star Khloe Kardashian. How long does it take you to prepare to face the world (on an average day, not for an internationally telecast awards show)?

A. Since the pandemic, I have stopped wearing makeup (no point in it because of masks), so it takes me about a half-hour to shower and dress. It used to be 45 minutes. Also, this song does not sound like a country song to me. It sounds like a pop song, so I was surprised to see it received a country nomination.

 

6) Experimenting with hair and makeup comes naturally to Maren. Her parents have owned the same hair salon for decades. She and her sister played there as children and took turns working the reception desk when they were in high school. Do you have a hair appointment scheduled?

A. I do not. I lost my hair dresser two years ago and bounced around from place to place, seeking someone. I found someone in September (yes, in the pandemic), and she cut my hair three times. I asked her in late November to cut it very short so I could stay away from places during the holidays, because I knew the coronavirus would be bad. Then when it was time to call to make an appointment, in early March, I found my hairdresser had just adopted a newborn baby! So I went back to a Supercuts and it looked like a dog chewed my hair off when the guy was done. After it grows out I will call my chosen hairdresser and see if she's back to work. If she's not, I'll keep bouncing around looking for someone else. But I don't think I'll go back to that particular Supercuts.

 

7) Mom and Dad do not go out of their way to play Maren's songs in their salon. They don't want to "bombard" clients with her music, just because she's their daughter. But, if one of Maren's songs happens to come on, they are naturally very proud. Where were you the last time you had to listen to someone else's choice of music? (Bank, doctor's office, friend's car, etc.) Did you enjoy it, or did you wish you could change the station?

A. I haven't been anywhere to notice music. When I used to actually go into stores to shop, I never minded what they were playing.

 

8) Maren says her favorite foods are tacos and tortillas. When did you most recently eat Mexican food?

A. I don't eat Mexican food. Too spicy.

9) Random question: What do you call that thing in your living room? Is it a sofa, couch, or a davenport?

A. We call it a couch or a sofa. I have never called it a davenport. Davenports are fancy pieces that no one ever sits on in our neck of the woods.

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I encourage you to visit other participants in Saturday 9 posts and leave a comment. Because there are no rules, it is your choice. Saturday 9 players hate rules. We love memes, however. 

Thursday Thirteen

I am out of ideas today, so I'm going to grab the paper and discuss headlines.

1. Biden to unveil actions on guns. Well, that one will make the strange people rush to the gun store for more ammo and rifles, I suspect. If one reads the story, this has to do with "ghost" guns, or homemade weaponry. It requires buyers of homemade guns to undergo a background check. Apparently there's a black market for homemade weapons. I don't see this as effective legislation, to be honest.

2. Pot laws to change. Virginia is going to legalize simple possession of marijuana on July 1. No retail sales, though, until 2024. Households can grow four plants. I don't even know where one purchases the seeds for that. People cannot sell an ounce of MJ, but they can make a gift of it. Seems like a weird law. I have no opinion on whether or not pot should be legal.

3. Va. reports 1,550 new cases. We're talking coronavirus here, of course. The paper's been running little updates everyday on new cases. My county has had 2,438 cases out of about 32,000. That's 7.619% of the county's population that has had the virus. I think we've had about 60 deaths (not noted in today's story). The virus is real and scary, and I'm not sure why people believe we are incapable of having a pandemic without it being some kind of government plot or cover-up. Nature is going to do what nature wants.

4. Game of Thrones celebrates Iron Anniversary. The show launched 10 years ago on HBO. I watched it and enjoyed it, although I thought the last season drifted a bit from the original premise. Of course it would, as George R.R. Martin has not yet written his ending to the series and HBO had to wrap it up. Every episode is currently available on HBO Max and there are going to be GOT marathons on Saturdays.

5. Fed signals no soon moves. This means the Federal Reserve is not going to raise interest rates or make any changes. Personally, I think the lower interest rates are detrimental. When I first had a mortgage, the interest rate was 13% and everyone swore they would never be lower. Let that be a lesson to everyone to show that economists and forecasters have no clue what they are talking about, really. I remember when saving accounts paid 5% interest to people with the foresight to chuck something away, and Christmas Clubs were a thing, and they paid interest, too. The Fed is also purchasing Treasurys and mortgage-backed securities. They shouldn't be doing this, either.

6. Prisoners fall behind in race for vaccinations. This story cites Florida (imagine that) as not vaccinating its prison population. Nationwide, fewer than 20% of state and federal prisoners have been vaccinated. They're a trapped population, and once someone brings the virus in there, it will spread just as it does in nursing homes. This needs to be fixed so that this population receives the vaccine.

7. Over 500,000 gain coverage under Biden. A special sign-up window for health insurance has helped more than 1/2 million people get coverage. Millions of people became eligible on April 1 due to pumped-up subsidies toward their premiums under the coronavirus relief legislation. The sign-up period closes August 15.

8. Natural Bridge park gains designation. The Natural Bridge, which is a large rock formation that is actually used as part of a highway in a neighboring county, has been designated a Dark Sky Park. That means this is a good place to go see the stars and the Milky Way.

9. Botetourt County hire assistant administrator. This is my county. I have no idea why we are hiring yet another assistant administrator. Apparently he is needed to help run the government during the pandemic, although we did just fine without him last year. I think it is to help use up the coronavirus funding.

10. Job search rules to be reinstated. Drawing unemployment once again will mean one must be actively searching for work. That rule was suspended during the pandemic, but now folks must show that they are applying for jobs each week. This rule has been around a long time - back in the 1980s I drew unemployment for a short time and I had to show that I had visited two potential employers every week. Finding a job today is not an easy task. In the old days (yes, I am ancient), I opened the newspaper, circled a bunch of help wanted ads, sent in resumes to blind boxes or made calls to the companies wanting people, went on interviews, found a job. Now there are no ads for jobs in the newspaper. Everything is online but unless it's a company with a physical presence in my area, I have no idea how a person determines if a job offering is legitimate or a scam. I like the old way better. Put that stuff back in the newspaper.

11.  Land added to Jefferson National Forest. I live near the George Washington and Jefferson National Forests. Nearly half of my county is forest land. Most of nearby Craig County is forest land. This adds 237 acres near McAfee Knob, which is a popular location on the Appalachian Trail, and will help preserve scenic beauty. The property was private, but a conservation group purchased it and gave it to the government. Since under the former guy (and G.W. Bush, too) there was a push to sell government lands, I'm not sure that was the best move, but time will tell.

12. Old-fashioned sitcom still going strong. Apparently we still like to laugh. This is a story about new sitcoms that start soon.

13. And I'm out of headlines in the local paper. It's a much trimmer paper than it used to be and costs a lot more, too. I think they are trying to put themselves out of business with their high prices. The news media is not evil nor is it the enemy of the people, but I think it needs to take a long hard look at itself and go back to the division between news and entertainment. People used to know the difference; now opinion is tossed out as fact, especially on TV. Even in the print media, opinions are not fact checked. Long ago I remember editor's notes at the bottom of ridiculous accusations in letters. That doesn't happen anymore. Perhaps it should.

Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; there is a list here if you want to read other Thursday Thirteens and/or play along. I've been playing for a while and this is my 702nd time to do a list of 13 on a Thursday. Or so sayth the Blogger counter, anyway.

Mellow Yellow

We call this stuff mustard grass. It is actually a weed. It is not native to North America but it is everywhere now. The pasture fields are full of it.

Mustard species vary. Wild mustards (and cultivated ones) can harbor pests and diseases that damage closely related crops. Roots, leaves, and especially seeds of Brassica and related species have sulfur-containing compounds. When consumed in large quantities over time, these compounds can irritate the digestive tracts and cause thyroid problems in livestock. Mustards may become a fire hazard when they dry up at the end of their growing season.

We have had people stop and let their children run through the pasture, delighting in the field of "yellow flowers." What the parents don't realize is many people are also allergic to mustard weed.

They were also trespassing.

Looking for Love

Spring brings with it all sorts of things, including unlucky tom turkeys who are trying hard to gain the affection of a hen.

The object of his desire

She walks away.

 

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing

1. What’s your favorite kind of cake?

A. Chocolate cake with chocolate icing, although I don't know if I will be able to eat that in the future.

2. What’s your favorite cocktail?

A. I don't drink alcohol. The last time I had any kind of a drink like that, it was called Sex on the Beach. That was around 1985, maybe.

3. If you are alone for the evening, what do you fix yourself for dinner?

A. An egg sandwich.

4. What make was your first car?

A. A Datsun.

5. What is your height?

A. Short.

6. What was your least favorite toy as a child?

A. Dolls. I did not play with them much. I preferred action figures.

7. What’s your favorite cartoon character?

A. Bugs Bunny. What's up, Doc?

8. What’s your dream car?

A. A Toyota Avalon.

9. What’s your favorite pizza topping?

A. I haven't been able to eat pizza for years. But I like a good veggie pizza sans black olives.

10. What’s your favorite sports team?

A. I don't watch sports. I'll go with the University of Virginia college teams.

11. What’s your favorite TV show?

A. I don't have one at the moment. Supergirl, perhaps. So many shows stalled with the pandemic, there doesn't seem to be much new out there.

12. What is your favorite ice cream?

A. I don't eat ice cream, but a hot fudge sundae with whipped cream and a cherry on top is on my bucket list.

13. What is your favorite song?

A. I don't have a favorite. I like many songs in many genres.

14. What’s your least favorite chore?

A. Cooking.

15. What was your first job?

A. Babysitting. Isn't that basically every girl's first job?

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I encourage you to visit other participants in Sunday Stealing posts and leave a comment. Cheers to all us thieves who love memes, however we come by them.

Saturday 9: Peter Cottontail

Saturday 9: Here Comes Peter Cottontail (from the archives)

1) Which do you prefer: colored hard-boiled eggs, chocolate marshmallow eggs, or plastic eggs with coins inside?

A. Plastic eggs with coins inside.

2) What's your favorite color of Peeps (yellow, purple, or pink)?

A. I do not like Peeps. Those things are nasty.

3) All this talk of sweets is making Sam hungry. What's for lunch?

A. Chicken salad.

4) This song was introduced by country singer Gene Autry and it's still a favorite. Please share some of the lyrics. (And you're on your own; Sam didn't include a link to the song this week.)

A. Here comes Peter Cottontail, hoppin' down the bunny trail! Hippity Hoppity Easter's on its way! He's got jelly beans for Tommy, colored eggs for sister Sue, there's an orchid for your mommy, and an Easter bonnet too! (That's from memory. I'm not even sure it's the same song.)

5) Gene Autry was so popular that a town in Oklahoma named itself for him. Have you ever been to Oklahoma?

A. I think we passed through it on a traveling trip to California in 1976.

6) He and his horse Champion also had a TV show. Can you name another famous horse?

A. Secretariat, winner of the Triple Crown in horse racing.

7) Gene Autry also recorded "Rudolph, The Red Nosed Reindeer," and it was, of course, wildly popular, too. Who is your favorite recording artist?

A. I think I own an even amount of recordings of Melissa Etheridge, Sheryl Crow, and Linda Ronstadt.

8) In 1950, the year Autry recorded this song, Diner's Club issued the first credit card. Think of the last thing you purchased. Did you use cash, a credit card, a debit card, an e-wallet service (Visa Checkout, Paypal, Google Pay, Apple Pay ...) or a check?

A. I wrote a check to the chiropractor.

9) Easter is recognized as the start of the spring season. What are you looking forward to this spring?

A. Getting my second Covid shot. Maybe by mid-May I will feel safe enough to purchase new clothes. I've lost 20 pounds and my pants won't stay up.

______________

I encourage you to visit other participants in Saturday 9 posts and leave a comment. Because there are no rules, it is your choice. Saturday 9 players hate rules. We love memes, however.

Thursday Thirteen

No Thursday Thirteen from me today.

April Fools!

Of course I must do a list of some kind for Thursday Thirteen!

Here we go . . .

1. The greatest gift of life is friendship, and I have received it. ~ Hubert H. Humphrey

2. One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives. ~ Euripides

3. Things are never quite as scary when you've got a best friend. ~ Bill Watterson

4. The friend in my adversity I shall always cherish most. I can better trust those who helped to relieve the gloom of my dark hours than those who are so ready to enjoy with me the sunshine of my prosperity. ~ Ulysses S. Grant

5. She is a friend of mind. She gather me, man. The pieces I am, she gather them and give them back to me in all the right order. It's good, you know, when you got a woman who is a friend of your mind. ~ Toni Morrison

6. Lovers have a right to betray you . . . friends don't. ~ Judy Holliday

7. No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow. ~ Alice Walker

8. Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it's all over. ~ Octavia E. Butler

9. If you have one true friend you have more than your share. ~ Thomas Fuller

10. When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. ~ Henri Nouwen

11. I have learned that to be with those I like is enough. ~ Walt Whitman

12. Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down. ~ Oprah Winfrey

13. I never considered a difference of opinion in politics, in religion, in philosophy, as cause for withdrawing from a friend. ~Thomas Jefferson

Read more at https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/friendship-quotes

Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; there is a list here if you want to read other Thursday Thirteens and/or play along. I've been playing for a while and this is my 701st time to do a list of 13 on a Thursday. Or so sayth the Blogger counter, anyway.

Deer

 

We have quite the deer herd visiting us in front of the house almost daily. I've counted as many as a dozen, but generally it's about nine. They like to lay in the area in front of the house, where it is sheltered from everything but my eyes.

I enjoy watching them rest like that. They seem so content and unwary.

We have too many deer on the farm now. Not enough hunters. Some of these animals are quite small and while some are last year's fawns and still growing, deer are not as large as they once were, when the population was better control.

Too bad we can't round them up and haul them off to auction like we do the cattle. They might stand a better chance than roaming around in the wild, where there's not enough food for all of them now.

Not a Cloud

 

This is not a cloud bank over the mountain - it is smoke from a controlled burn. The U.S. Forest Service is conducting numerous such burns in our area this spring. This one was on Potts Mountain. They are burning thousands of acres.

The smoke rolled into Alleghany from this fire, but the weekend before, the smoke from a burn on Caldwell Mountain nearly ran half of Botetourt out of the county, the smoke was so thick.

These kinds of prescribed burns are weather-dominated, as in, it must be not too dry, wet, or windy for the burn to happen.

After many years of fire exclusion, an ecosystem that needs periodic fire becomes unhealthy. Trees are stressed by overcrowding; fire-dependent species disappear; and flammable fuels build up and become hazardous. The right fire at the right place at the right time:

• Reduces hazardous fuels, protecting human communities from extreme fires;
• Minimizes the spread of pest insects and disease;
• Removes unwanted species that threaten species native to an ecosystem;
• Provides forage for game;
• Improves habitat for threatened and endangered species;
• Recycles nutrients back to the soil; and
• Promotes the growth of trees, wildflowers, and other plants;

The Forest Service manages prescribed fires and even some wildfires to benefit natural resources and reduce the risk of unwanted wildfires in the future. The agency also uses hand tools and machines to thin overgrown sites in preparation for the eventual return of fire.

I think controlled burning is appropriate. I don't like it when the smoke rolls in my direction, though, because it sets off my asthma.

Just one of those things to live with on occasion.

Sunday Stealing: Cooking

Sunday Stealing

1. How often do you make food and eat it?

A. I don't "make food," Mother Nature does that. I prepare meals, which I do with great frequency. Every day, actually.

2. Do you consider toasting bread, preparing instant noodles, or boiling an egg to be cooking? Why or why not?

A. Yes, I consider that cooking because it involves food preparation.

3. What’s your favorite dish to make?

A. I don't have one. I do not like to cook.

4. Cooking or baking: what’s more fun? What’s more difficult?

A. Baking is fun, although I consider that a subset of "cooking."

 

5. Who did most of the cooking in your house when you were growing up?

A. My mother. My father sometimes made Sunday breakfast and he did the grilling.

6. How have you learned the cooking skills that you have?

A. Trial and error. My mother attempted to teach me to cook, but I find it an uninteresting past time and something I do not especially like to do.

7. Have you ever taken a cooking course? If so, what did you learn? If not, would you like to do one? What would you like to learn?

I have never taken a cooking course. It would probably be a good thing for me to do, but I don't watch the cooking shows on TV so I'm not sure how much interest I actually have in the topic.

8. Have you tried cooking food from another culture? What did you prepare? How was it?

A. I have prepared stir fry, which I suppose could be considered from another culture. It was fine.

9. Is it cost-effective to do your own cooking? Can you save money by cooking?

A. It is more cost-effective to prepare food at home and eat in then it to go to a restaurant. So yes, it saves money. It becomes rather boring, though.

10. Would you rather do the cooking or do the washing up afterwards?

A. I'd rather not do either.

11. Do you use recipes to cook? If so, where do you get the best recipes? Do you get them from friends, family, online, or from cookbooks?

A. I obtain recipes from my Better Crocker cookbook and online.

12. Have you ever tried to prepare some food and just totally ruined it? What happened?

A. Yes, I have, but I don't remember exactly what it was. I probably overcooked it.

13. Do you prefer cooking at home or eating out at a restaurant? Why?

A. I'd prefer to have a live-in cook but I don't see that as an option.

14. Is cooking a social activity for you? Do you like to do it with other people, or do your prefer to do it alone?

A. I prefer not to do it at all.

15. Do you have a lot of cooking equipment? How often do you use it all? Do you have any pieces of equipment that you rarely ever use?

A. I have removed most of the items I never used. I do not have what I would consider "a lot" or even the proper things with which to cook. I have wondered at times if I would like to prepare meals more if I had the appropriate equipment, but since I'm not sure what that is, I don't suppose I will ever know.

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I encourage you to visit other participants in Sunday Stealing posts and leave a comment. Cheers to all us thieves who love memes, however we come by them.

Saturday 9: Fooled

Saturday 9: Fooled by a Feeling (1979)

 

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

Chosen because next week is April Fool's Day. 

1) Some believe that the practice of playing tricks on one another on April 1 dates back to the 14th century because it's mentioned in Chaucer's The Canterbury Tales. Geoffrey Chaucer is considered one of England's greatest poets. From memory, quote a bit of poetry for us. (It doesn't have to be English, or great.)

A. Half a league! Half a league! Half a league onward, into the valley of Death rode the six hundred! Cannons to the left of them, cannons to the right of them volleyed and thundered! Into the valley of Death rode the six hundred!

2) When Crazy Sam was a little girl, her mother would prank her on April Fool's Day by slipping a rubber worm or plastic spider in her lunch box. Did you/do you carry a lunchbox, either as a student or an adult?

A. I am sure I carried a lunchbox when I was in elementary school, but after that it was brown paper bags.

3) In 1998, Burger King got into the April Fool's Day fun by promoting a special "Left Handed Whopper," supposedly perfectly designed for a leftie to hold. Describe your perfect burger.

A. A bun, bacon, hamburger, lettuce, catsup, tomato, and a little bit of mustard and mayonnaise.

4) In this week's song, Barbara Mandrell sings that she followed her heart into her lover's arms. Are you more often led by your heart or head?

A. Apparently my heart although I prefer to think it is my head.

5) She knows now she was wrong for believing her man loved her. When did you recently admit you were wrong?

A. I don't know. I say "I'm sorry" like most people say, "How are you?" so it could have been anything. I apologize simply for breathing.

6) Barbara Mandrell recalls being able to read music before she could read words. Can you read sheet music?

A. I can but not well. I mostly play by ear.

7) Barbara had her own TV variety show in the 1980s and, in the 90s, acted on the daytime drama, Sunset Beach. The soap opera's producer, Aaron Spelling, was a huge fan of Barbara's and was thrilled to finally meet and work with her. Tell us about someone you really enjoyed working with, and why.

A. I enjoyed working with four women, Donna, Wendy, Angela, and Lois, in 2019 when I put together a magazine for the 250th anniversary of my county. They were great fun to deal with, and they had no doubt whatsoever that I would create a pleasing magazine keepsake for the community. It was nice to be believed in. They are very different personalities, but I enjoyed working with each one for the thoughts and inspiration they brought to the project.

8) In 1979, when this song was released, a top-of-the-line Sony Walkman sold for $150 (approx. $500 in today's dollars). Did you have a portable cassette player back in the day?

A. I don't recall having a Walkman, but I had a cassette player. It was "portable" in that you could carry it around but it was rather large.

9) Random question: What's the first thing you thought of when you woke up this morning?

A. I don't want to get out of this bed, but I have to pee.

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I encourage you to visit other participants in Saturday 9 posts and leave a comment. Because there are no rules, it is your choice. Saturday 9 players hate rules. We love memes, however.

 

A Busy Day

Yesterday was a busy day.

I had a mammogram scheduled for in the morning. I've got a fibrous area that they've been watching for a long time, and it was time for another check-up as well as the regular mammogram. One must keep those puppies happy, after all.

The mammogram was fine, and the doctor cleared me to leave the intense scrutiny of every an every six-month check-up and return to annual mammograms. Yay.

Then we went to Sam's Club. This is the first time I'd been in Sam's since last year if not before. I don't shop there much. The store has been completely rearranged and we were lucky to find what we needed (which was some kind of oil for the farm tractor).

It's a little scary to be out when you've mostly been at home for a year. It's easy to become overwhelmed by all the sights and sounds. I have never seen so many packs of toilet paper and paper towels in my life. Sam's must want to be sure they never get caught with their pants down around that issue again.

We took ham sandwiches with us because neither of us are ready to eat in a restaurant. We sat by the airport to watch the airplanes while we ate, but we never saw a plane.

Then it was off to the Civic Center for my first round of the Moderna vaccine. We went in the handicapped side and there was no line. The nurse told me to relax my arm. I tried. "Relax," she said again.

"I don't relax well," I replied.

"I can tell. You're one of those Type A nervous types," she said, and then jabbed the needle in my arm, relaxed muscles or not.

It hurt. It was much worse than a flu shot, or the pneumonia shot. Ouchie.

I sat for my required 15 minutes and aside from my arm hurting and feeling numb, I felt ok. About 40 minutes after the shot, though, I began to have this weird taste in my mouth, like I'd been chewing on a Band-Aid. I've had that occur before when the physical therapist gave me a steroid shot in my ankle. I suspect I'm reacting to a preservative of some kind.

The taste went away after a few hours. I experienced chills for a bit, and I felt very tired, but it had been a busy day.

Today I still have a sore arm, but nothing else seems amiss. No horns growing, no body parts falling off, not even a stuffy nose.

I will receive the second shot in late April. By mid-May, I should be able to return to grocery shopping in the store instead of doing online ordering and pick-up.

So that's one big thing out of the way and another big thing started. Yay for science, even if it isn't perfect yet. It's the best we've got when it comes to health.

Thursday Thirteen #700

The other day I ran across something about procrastination that ran so true, I simply had to share the meme.

Procrastination is a big problem for many people. Amazon is loaded with books on the subject. But I think that last paragraph applies to me, if no one else. 

I am not lazy. I have done many things. I have written and published thousands of articles. This is blog entry #4,676, written since August 2006. I've three college degrees. I worked for law firms for 12 years. I freelanced and made more than many freelancers for a good 25 years. Then along came health issues and no matter how hard I fight them, particularly the ones in my head, I feel stuck. I don't do the bookkeeping as frequently as I'd like (I do get it done, eventually). I don't clean out drawers, or empty file cabinets. I don't do the filing when I should. But I am not lazy. 

Every day I make the bed, I do the dishes, I fix dinner of some kind and usually lunch, I do loads of laundry and put them away. I write in this blog. I talk to my friends. I text a friend who lost her husband nearly three years ago now and she asked me to text her every night, and I do. I take lots of photographs. I keep up with the stuff my husband can't. I pay the bills on time. The house doesn't look like rats live in it.

But I still feel like I procrastinate when it comes to moving forward with my life's direction. Mostly because I can't figure out which way to go. It's like I'm on a revolving circle, moving so fast that I can't see where I can step off without a reasonable fear of it not destroying me. Better to stay on the circle, right?

But not really.

Anyway, here are some procrastination tips from the experts. I've tried most of them, none have proven overly helpful. They're not going to when the issue is in between my ears.

1. Stop punishing yourself for procrastinating. Don't yell at yourself, just do it. (Yeah, right.)

2. Tackle the task for 15 minutes at a time. (This does work if I can actually force myself to do the 15 minutes.)

3. Break the task down into small chunks.

4. Do the hardest (or longest) task first.

5. Give yourself a pep talk. (My pep talks go like this: You are such an idiot, why can't you just go do what you want to do and get it done?)

6. Don't aim for perfection, just aim for "done." 

7. Promise yourself a reward when you're finished.

8. Make sure your workspace suits the task. (I can procrastinate indefinitely be deciding my desk needs to be cleaned off before I start a project.)

9. Put away the smart phone. Better yet, turn it off and throw it out the window.

10. Use an add-on to your browser to keep from getting on Facebook when you're supposed to be writing a novel.

11. Listen to calming music (unless you're trying to exercise and keep postponing it, then listen to disco or Uptown Funk so your feet will move).

12. Write a to-do list with set goals. (Finish one page by the end of the day. Clean out one closet shelf every week. Whatever.)

13. Avoid multitasking.

Good luck!

Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; there is a list here if you want to read other Thursday Thirteens and/or play along. I've been playing for a while and this is my 700th time to do a list of 13 on a Thursday. Or so sayth the Blogger counter, anyway.

On Milk and Cows

My brother, who is a Republican, posted this on Facebook:

COWS DON’T GIVE MILK

A peasant used to say to his children when they were young: —When you all  reach the age of  12  I will tell you the secret of life. One day when the oldest turned 12, he anxiously asked his father what was the secret of life. The father replied that he was going to tell him, but that he should not reveal it to his brothers. 

—The secret of life is this: The cow does not give milk. "What are you saying?" Asked the boy incredulously. —As you hear it, son: The cow does not give milk, you have to milk it. You have to get up at 4 in the morning, go to the field, walk through the corral full of manure, tie the tail, hobble the legs of the cow, sit on the stool, place the bucket and do the work your self.

That is the secret of life, the cow does not give milk. You milk her or you don't get milk. There is this  generation that thinks that cows GIVE milk. That things are automatic and free: their mentality is that if " I wish, I ask..... I obtain." 

" They have been accustomed to get  what ever they want the easy way...But  No, life is not a matter of wishing, asking and obtaining. The things that one receives are the effort of what one does. Happiness is the result of effort. Lack of effort creates frustration. 

So, remember to share with your children, from a young age, the secret of life. So they don't grow up with the mentality that the government, their parents, or their cute little faces is going to give them everything they need in life.

Remember 👇👇

 "Cows don't give milk. You have to work for it"

This is, of course, the Republican version of not having government oversight and in particular not having a social safety net for those who fall through the cracks of society.

Let's examine this little morality tale.

First, the farmer is a peasant. In other words, the hard worker is poor. He may milk that cow until, well, the cows come home, but he's still a poor peasant.

The moral is that the farmer must take the milk from the cow. The cow does not freely give milk.

The farmer must also grow the crops to feed the cow, give it shelter, and keep it happy with a occasional scratch between the ears, because happier cows give more milk.

Which is to say, a happier populace would give more to society. If the farmer (peasant) gives the cow all of these things, then the farmer gets milk.

This is why people are poor. Because they work and work and only get a little bit of milk.

There are always two sides to these things. Let's not forget how hard the peasant is working for this tiny bit of milk.

Leaving out a lot of background to a little fairy tale might make for a good Facebook post, but honestly, all it is doing is keeping the impoverished down. It's hard to climb up by your bootstraps when you don't have any boots because you're so busy trying to get a little bit of milk from a cow you don't have time to go buy shoes.

What a Democrat does is come along and offer to go buy the guy a pair of boots.

A Republican just tells him to work harder for a little more milk.