An Eventful Morning

Sometime in the wee hours of the morning, I woke with the calf of my leg feeling like 10,000 bees were stinging it.

At first I thought it was a muscle cramp, but it didn't feel like that. I've had muscle cramps. This felt more like the time a few years ago when I had a superficial blood clot in the same area. I rose and walked around a bit.

Later, after we were both up, I asked my husband to look at my calf. He said it was swollen. It wasn't hot to the touch, but the swelling was a concern.

My doctor's office answered the phone at 7:45 a.m., and I was immediately worked in. I really lucked out with my doctor. I wouldn't trade her for anything.

She sent in a student first, who did a thorough examination of my leg and noted that not only was it swollen, it was redder than the other leg. By this time it no longer felt like thousands of bees stinging me; it merely throbbed and was quite sore when touched.

My doctor came in, took a quick look, felt my pulse in my ankles, and told me she didn't like it. She ordered blood work, and said that I was going straight to the hospital for an ultrasound. No arguing with her this time.

(Last time I'd had a superficial blood clot, I didn't do the ultrasound until months later, because it took a long time to resolve.)

My doctor's nurse managed to draw blood on the first stick - a rarity - and then I had to wait while they wrote the orders for the imaging my doctor wanted. (Apparently there is a blood test for clotting. It's called D-dimer test. I'll have those results tomorrow.)

I called my husband and he told me to come home and get him so he could go with me. I hated dragging him away from his farm work, but he insisted. So I went home and while he changed clothes, I made us both ham sandwiches, which we ate on the way to the hospital.

The wait at the hospital was relatively short, given that I was being worked in there, too. We were gone a little over two hours.

The good news is the ultrasound technician found no blood clot, though she said I had some deep varicose veins. My doctor had said if it wasn't a blood clot, then it was probably phlebitis. 

Phlebitis is an inflammation of the veins. 

So I suppose that is what I have. It generally goes away on its own. My grandmother had this, if I remember right, so I'm going to go with a hereditary condition.

Given that my diet has been weird for the last six months, I am not surprised that other health concerns might crop up. I'm probably missing some important nutrient, only I have no idea what.

The initial concern of course was that I had symptoms of a DVT, a deep vein thrombosis. This can be life-threatening because the clot can break lose and travel to the lungs, causing a pulmonary embolism. 

Symptoms of a DVT, according to the Mayo Clinic, are, (1) swelling in the affected leg, (2) pain that starts in the calf and feels like cramping or soreness, (3) red or discolored skin, and (4) a feeling of warmth in the affected leg.

I had all the symptoms except the last one. Thankfully, the ultrasound showed no blood clot. So I'm ok. My leg is sore but it will be better.

If you, dear reader, experience these symptoms, don't hesitate to go the doctor. They take these things seriously and would rather rule out something life threatening than treat for a pulmonary embolism or visit you in your casket.

A Little Notice Would Have Been Nice

On Friday, the Virginia governor decided that he would follow CDC guidelines beginning that night, meaning people who have been vaccinated need not wear masks.

Basically, that means no one will be wearing masks, because people locally have fought wearing masks from day one. I do not know why. It's fine that they must wear a shirt and shoes into a store but not a mask during a pandemic.

Or maybe they were fine with 580,000 people dying.

You will have to ask them.

I found wearing a mask at first to be anxiety-provoking, but now not wearing one is even more anxiety-provoking than wearing one ever was.

So I would have preferred a week's notice before the CDC and the governor muddled things, so I could have made a much-needed trip to Walmart while people were supposed to be wearing masks. I know they weren't wearing masks anyway at Walmart because my friends have told me that, but at least before Friday the odds of more mask wearing was slightly better.

Now I suspect fewer masks everywhere. I, for one, plan to wear one anyway, even though I have been vaccinated. Not to keep away Covid, but to keep away everything else. I have always caught every virus and bacterial infection that makes the rounds. If it weren't for antibiotics, I'd be dead.

When I think of all of the months I have spent hacking, choking, and drowning in my sinus drainage, when it could have been alleviated by wearing a mask, it makes me angry. Why didn't someone tell me before that it would make such a difference? It's not our societal norm here, that's why. It's also against the law in Virginia to wear a facial covering. Here's the code section:

§ 18.2-422. Prohibition of wearing of masks in certain places; exceptions.

It shall be unlawful for any person over 16 years of age to, with the intent to conceal his identity, wear any mask, hood or other device whereby a substantial portion of the face is hidden or covered so as to conceal the identity of the wearer, to be or appear in any public place, or upon any private property in this Commonwealth without first having obtained from the owner or tenant thereof consent to do so in writing. However, the provisions of this section shall not apply to persons (i) wearing traditional holiday costumes; (ii) engaged in professions, trades, employment or other activities and wearing protective masks which are deemed necessary for the physical safety of the wearer or other persons; (iii) engaged in any bona fide theatrical production or masquerade ball; or (iv) wearing a mask, hood or other device for bona fide medical reasons upon (a) the advice of a licensed physician or osteopath and carrying on his person an affidavit from the physician or osteopath specifying the medical necessity for wearing the device and the date on which the wearing of the device will no longer be necessary and providing a brief description of the device, or (b) the declaration of a disaster or state of emergency by the Governor in response to a public health emergency where the emergency declaration expressly waives this section, defines the mask appropriate for the emergency, and provides for the duration of the waiver. The violation of any provisions of this section is a Class 6 felony.

The governor said he would take some action so people could still wear masks after his executive order about masks ends June 30. But it would take an act of the legislature to make a permanent change, and if the Republicans take the House of Delegates or the Virginia Senate, that won't happen because those folks live in some anti-science fantasyland.

So I plan to have my doctor write me a prescription to wear a mask indefinitely, to have on my person, because I have been much less ill since I started wearing a mask and stopped being out among people. I think my doctor will agree to this because I know she's tired of prescribing me antibiotics every couple of months. She was surprised when I had a sinus infection in mid-April and she looked back. "We haven't had you an antibiotic since November!" she exclaimed. "That's the longest I think you've ever gone without one."

Antibiotics are not good for you. Once a year, maybe, but I averaged an antibiotic probably every two or three months pre-pandemic. In 2020, I had an antibiotic twice, and only one time so far this year.

I plan to continue to use antibacterial soap in the car (I did that pre-pandemic anyway), and to wash my hands every time I come in the house.

Since I stopped biting my nails this past year, that has helped some too, I suspect. So I will keep clipping those things short so they don't invite me to bite them.

I don't know if I will continue to change shoes and have "outside shoes" and "inside shoes." I might, because it is not that much of an inconvenience and I think it keeps dust and dirt out of the house.

Grocery pickup will still be a thing for me, too. I had planned to resume shopping in the store since I am fully vaccinated, but with the mask mandate lifted, I think I might be better off to limit that to once a month and do pickup the rest of the time.

Many of the items I was ordering online from Walmart and having shipped here are now only available for pickup at the stores. I assume Walmart is trying to move people back into the brick and mortar buildings and away from shopping online as much. They have to pay the light bill somehow, I suppose.

My brother told me I live in a bubble. I do. I almost have to because I'm so sensitive to things. I'd rather be healthy than adventuresome, although it would be nice if I could be both. Just not in the cards for me, I guess.

Environmental Sensitivities

I wanted to write more about something I briefly touched on in yesterday's post - environmental sensitivities.

The world and I do not get along, generally speaking. I have allergies and sensitivities (they are two separate things).

My allergies include every grass on the planet except for a species in Asia, all trees, flowers, dust mites, bugs and insects, bees, shellfish, citrus fruit, cow's milk, and black pepper, among other things. I avoid the food as much as possible - none of it will kill me, it makes me quite sick, though. As for the pollen and dust, I do the best I can with that.

Face masks help a lot. I did not realize how much until this past year. I will be wearing one for the rest of my life, I suspect.

My environmental sensitivities include: deodorants, perfumes, perfumed soaps of all kinds, perfumed candles, lotions, and anything else that smells, animals in all forms, paint, new carpeting, cigarettes, cigars, bleaches and other cleaning products, dyes in clothing, and a myriad mountain of other things.

My nose is incredibly sensitive. I smell things other people cannot. For example, I smelled mold in the living room for several years every the summer, and we couldn't find the source. When we replaced the windows in 2019, the carpenter found rotted wood around the window frame in the living room. He removed that and replaced it with good wood, and I've not smelled mold in there again.

It bothered me so much that I didn't sit on that side of the room unless I had to, even though we couldn't find the source of the mold.

I do not go to people's houses. Most folks have animals and I do not begrudge them their pets, but I cannot take the dander. I don't care how many times one vacuums, to me, it smells like an animal. It's the same with cigarette smoke and strong perfumes. The odor can linger for days. So I do not buy anything used, either, unless it is washable.

Even washing doesn't always help. When I purchase new clothing, especially jeans, I have to wash them about 10 times before I can wear them. The dye smell on them bothers me greatly. I wash them in white vinegar or baking soda. All of my soaps, laundry and bath, are unscented. There isn't a scented soap anywhere in the house.

Once I bought a pair of black jeans and the dye smell would not wash out of them. I put the jeans in a closet in my husband's office, and two years later, I could still smell the dye in them.

My deodorant is unscented. So is my husband's. When we started dating, along about the fifth date, I told him that I wanted to keep seeing him, but he was going to have to do something about his aftershave and deodorant. He wore Old Spice and it made my face break out when we kissed. The next time I saw him, he'd switched to unscented everything. If I hadn't fallen in love with him already, I probably would have then. I mean, to give up Old Spice for me! That was love.

Additionally, this issue is not a little inconvenience or me being picky or whatever one might want to think. This sensitivity to the world makes me quite ill. I used to miss at least 30 days of school every year. I missed a lot of work, too, when I worked for other people. I refused to cover the schools because I became ill every time I went into the school building.

There are stores I simply cannot frequent because they smell. Before Virginia stopped allowing cigarette smoke in restaurants, we didn't go out to eat often because I couldn't take the cigarette smoke. There are still places that do not obey that law, and they do not get my business.

Such environmental triggers cause asthma attacks, which then leads to an upper respiratory infection, and sometimes a long illness that hangs on - no joke - for over a month. It is not worth visiting a friend with a pet, no matter how much I love the friend, to risk spending a month in bed. Especially since sometimes those upper respiratory infections go on into pneumonia.

Some people understand this. Most people don't. I don't have too many visitors in the house and don't like strangers in the house because most people wear perfumed something. Axe deodorant is the worst - it is hard to get that smell out of the house once someone has been here a while.

I do not clean with harsh chemicals - I mostly use white vinegar. I use furniture polish for sensitive people, even!

Some of these items became difficult to find last year as the supply chain faltered. I am at the end of a large tub of Cheer Free laundry detergent and am hoping I can tolerate washing my underclothes in All Free & Clear because I can't find Cheer Free anymore. It's been out of stock for months. All detergent is what I use on my jeans and such, but my lingerie has been washed in Cheer free for as long as I can remember because I knew that didn't make me break out in tender places. I hope those tender places can tolerate All. I will be finding out soon.

Unfortunately, I think being home this past year has made me even more intolerant to various odors. I walked through Food Lion yesterday and could not get down the aisle with the laundry detergent and cleaners. It took my breath even through my mask.

This is hard. It is also hard work to try to stay well when the world makes you so sick. I'm not asking for pity or anything, but I do wish other people understood that the perfume they've bathed in is not sweet-smelling to everyone.

To somebody like me, it's a prelude to a antibiotic.

The Reaction

I would like to report that I had little reaction to my second Moderna shot, but that was not the case.

For 24 hours, I experienced chills, a fever, body aches all over (especially in my back), and a headache. At one point Friday night, my skin was so sensitive I could barely stand light clothing on my body.

Additionally, I have had very vivid dreams every night since I had the shot.

However, the symptoms eased by Saturday morning, and by today (Monday), aside from itching in the area of the shot, I am doing well.

I suspect some of this was exacerbated by the fact that I already had a sinus infection when I took the shot. I wasn't running a fever, and my doctor had said to get the shot unless I had a temperature.

But Friday morning, I was doing the teledoc thing with my PCP. She popped me on an antibiotic for the sinus infection, a new drug for me, and that cleared up fairly quickly.  In fact, it is about gone now, too. Good drug.

One of my Facebook friends said she would never take the shot again after experiencing similar symptoms. Extremes vary from person to person, and while I wouldn't want to go through that again, if I have to have a booster for Covid, I will take it. Better to feel lousy for a little while and not end up dead.

The dreams were entertaining. Dreams never make sense when you write them out, but I remember that at one point, there had been a tidal wave over Roanoke (that would be some tidal wave, since we're about 4 hours inland). I was wandering around and I found a huge lot of earrings. Nothing fancy, just various studs in multiple colors. Then I was at an old law firm where I used to work, and one of the women told me I had stolen her earrings. I realized that all of the earrings I had found came from the law firm. In order to give them back, I decided to place them all in envelopes and put them discreetly in everyone's desk, since I was being accused of stealing when I'd only picked up what I'd found that I though was lost.

In another dream, or a portion of this one, I can't remember, I was driving along the road where my grandmother used to live, along the Roanoke River. A house was on fire. My grandmother said not to go near it, but I said we needed to go because it was Aunt Elsie's house. I raced to the car but the road started twisting and buckling and somehow I ended up in Myrtle Beach, SC. That's an 8-hour drive from here.

The mind is an interesting body part. I wonder what part of the Moderna shot it affected. I hope it enhances mood. That would be a good side effect. I am pretty cheerful today so . . . maybe? I'd like a dose of permanent cheerful, please!

The Shot

Yesterday, I received my second dose of the Moderna shot.

I went in knowing I was having sinus problems. My doctor in an email had said to get the shot so long as I wasn't running a fever, so I did.

So now I'm trying to recover from a shot that has my arm on fire and a sinus infection. I had a teledoc appointment with my PCP this morning. She gave me an antibiotic, something new that I've never had.

It's supposed to be easier on my stomach. My stomach is still not right from whatever upset it last winter.

The second shot going in did not hurt. The first shot hurt terribly. The second one I didn't feel at all, until after a few hours. Then my arm started aching, and now it aches and burns.

I am having chills, too. But I don't know if that's from the shot or the sinus infection.

It's a lot for a body to try to compensate for, I suspect.

In two weeks, though, I will be fully vaccinated and hopefully if I do catch Covid-19, it won't kill me.

A big thank you to my husband, who has gone after my antibiotic and is trying to take care of me while I am feeling bad.

A Busy Day

Yesterday was a busy day.

I had a mammogram scheduled for in the morning. I've got a fibrous area that they've been watching for a long time, and it was time for another check-up as well as the regular mammogram. One must keep those puppies happy, after all.

The mammogram was fine, and the doctor cleared me to leave the intense scrutiny of every an every six-month check-up and return to annual mammograms. Yay.

Then we went to Sam's Club. This is the first time I'd been in Sam's since last year if not before. I don't shop there much. The store has been completely rearranged and we were lucky to find what we needed (which was some kind of oil for the farm tractor).

It's a little scary to be out when you've mostly been at home for a year. It's easy to become overwhelmed by all the sights and sounds. I have never seen so many packs of toilet paper and paper towels in my life. Sam's must want to be sure they never get caught with their pants down around that issue again.

We took ham sandwiches with us because neither of us are ready to eat in a restaurant. We sat by the airport to watch the airplanes while we ate, but we never saw a plane.

Then it was off to the Civic Center for my first round of the Moderna vaccine. We went in the handicapped side and there was no line. The nurse told me to relax my arm. I tried. "Relax," she said again.

"I don't relax well," I replied.

"I can tell. You're one of those Type A nervous types," she said, and then jabbed the needle in my arm, relaxed muscles or not.

It hurt. It was much worse than a flu shot, or the pneumonia shot. Ouchie.

I sat for my required 15 minutes and aside from my arm hurting and feeling numb, I felt ok. About 40 minutes after the shot, though, I began to have this weird taste in my mouth, like I'd been chewing on a Band-Aid. I've had that occur before when the physical therapist gave me a steroid shot in my ankle. I suspect I'm reacting to a preservative of some kind.

The taste went away after a few hours. I experienced chills for a bit, and I felt very tired, but it had been a busy day.

Today I still have a sore arm, but nothing else seems amiss. No horns growing, no body parts falling off, not even a stuffy nose.

I will receive the second shot in late April. By mid-May, I should be able to return to grocery shopping in the store instead of doing online ordering and pick-up.

So that's one big thing out of the way and another big thing started. Yay for science, even if it isn't perfect yet. It's the best we've got when it comes to health.

Most Worried About?

One of my most recent worries, aside from the usual Covid-19 concerns, financial thoughts, and life goals, has been my health.

Since Thanksgiving, I have had stomach problems. I have lost 18 pounds without trying. I've no appetite, and have terrible reflux with most foods. About the only thing I can eat without much problem are eggs, ham sandwiches (no cheese), chicken, rice, peas, and Baked Lays potato chips.

Everything else causes me much aggravation. Not only that, this issue involves a weird mouth reaction - burning tongue, a sensation in my entire mouth at times that feels like I am chewing on molten glass, and a citric acid taste.

According to the GI doctor I saw last week, this is the result of reflux. He changed the timing of my medicine (a PPI), and sent me on my way with instructions to give it three weeks.

It has been one week and I've not seen improvement.

The weight loss is not a complaint, although my nutritional needs are a concern. My primary care doctor several weeks ago wondered if I would soon notice malnutrition issues due to not eating much, or only eating the same things.

To combat that, I drink a Boost every now and then, and I take vitamins.

Other things I have to deal with: bad TMJ (my jaw literally locks in place and can stay that way for most of the day, and it hurts like hell), high blood pressure, obesity, a bad heel, asthma, constant sinus issues, poor eyesight, chronic pain in my lower abdomen for multiple surgeries, a bad back, and general aches and pain due to aging. Add to this the fact that I cannot take pain medication because of my history of multiple ulcers, and well, you have a recipe for me. Or some of me, anyway.

I try not to write too much about my health on here, but this is the prompt for February 11, and I switched the one for today with tomorrow's, so I could use today's for Thursday 13.

February Journal Prompts. Join up at Kwizgiver's.

Flu Shot Day

Today was flu shot day. It was also "husband is home and doesn't know what to do with himself day," which means I was a little out of sorts myself.

Tomorrow, hopefully, we will be both be back on our schedules.

I found out early this morning that my name is going to be in a book called Xena: Their Courage Changed the World, which is about the Xena fandom of the late 1990s and early 2000s. I am mentioned because of my involvement in WHOOSH.org, a website devoted to all things Xena: Warrior Princess. I wrote many show synopses for the show, a few articles for the website, and also did some editing for the website owner.

That was exciting news.

I meant to blog earlier but things were simply out of my hands today.

So here's a new song by Sheryl Crow that I really like.

The Agony of De-Feet

I'll never be your beast of burden

I've walked for miles, my feet are hurting

All I want is you to make love to me

                            -- The Rolling Stones

I have had problems with my feet since I was born. I am flat-footed, more or less, and I pronate badly. When I was younger, I wore those corrective Mary Janes that supposedly helped something, but as I have aged, gained weight, and tried to increase my walking habits, I find I have more foot problems than ever.

Last September, we went on vacation. The shower in the condo had a tiled floor that was walking on pebbles. By the time we came home, I had a case of plantar fasciitis in my left foot.

I did stretches, etc., but my husband was undergoing ankle fusion surgery in late November, and I was more interested in preparing the house for him than I was in taking care of myself.

In February, I mentioned the pain in my foot to my primary care doctor. She gave me exercises, which I did, and the plantar fasciitis pain throughout the arch went away, but it seemed to center directly in my heel.

It feels like I am stepping on a railroad spike when I step down. It hurts more in the afternoons, after I've been up a while.

I continued the exercises and ice but it wasn't helping. Since it seemed, in fact, to be growing worse, I saw an orthopedic doctor at Carilion Wednesday. I was there for two hours. The result? Yep, you have some pain in your foot, here's a squishier heel cup that might help more than the one you bought online. Sorry, we don't do steroid shots for this kind of thing anymore. If you want, I can refer you to the "foot pain" people, they like to do surgery.

Surgery? He had me ready to bolt out of the office (well, hop and limp fast) as soon as that word came out of his mouth. After my gallbladder surgery and the subsequent hell I have been through with that, I've decided I'd rather die than have another surgery. I mean come on. Surgery?

He took an x-ray and said I had a heel spur but he thought the problem was little "stalagmites" on the bone. I guess that's some kind of bone degeneration, maybe? Nothing's turned up in my chart yet to let me know. Actually, my visit with him isn't even in my chart. It's like it never happened. (Maybe they won't bill me. Ha.)

After that unhelpful visit, I decided to change up my exercises. I will go to mild, passive-resistance stretches instead of things like the runners stretch (up against the wall, foot back, really stretching calf muscle), which is what I had been doing. I also have decided to use KT Tape and yesterday I asked my chiropractor to use her therapeutic ultrasound on my foot. I have a personal use ultrasound machine here at home, and when I am having a non-tape day, I will use the ultrasound on it here.

We seem to have entered a phase in medicine where if you're sick, too bad. You're going to have to figure out how to deal with it yourself. Someone told me today he had cancelled a planned shoulder surgery because he had to quarantine for 14 days prior and have two negative Covid-45 tests, one within three days of the surgery, before he could get the surgery. So he cancelled it until "this stuff is all over and there's a vaccine or whatever." That was his decision, and I understand both sides. But still, something is wrong somewhere.

Our health care needs overhauled in more ways than one. Everyone likes to brag about how great our healthcare system is, but I don't see it. All I see is a method of taking money from people that is foolproof, because everyone has an illness at some point.

Here's to walking, hopefully pain free.

Taking Care of Myself

For those who read regularly and may wish to know, my mammogram went fine. I have an abnormality but they are simply watching it. Apparently, it's been there since at least 2014, so I am not worried about it.

Mammograms are an annual endurance test for women, though I admit I had started doing mine every 1.5 years or so. I think it's a lot of radiation to be spewing at your chest on a yearly basis. Still, I think a woman should have one at least every two years.

So go take care of yourselves, ladies. I know it's hard and a little scary right now, but the hospital was diligent about taking temperatures and keeping folks separated.

Pandemic Monday - Day 23

No reason to write a daily update of our lives as we live at home, doing  . . . whatever it is we're doing. Things are happening and changes are occurring, but at the moment I'm not free to write of them.

Stay tuned.

What I can write about is a little weekly diary of how I am feeling about this pandemic, and how we're managing. As a long-time married couple with no children, we mostly have only ourselves to rely upon. Fortunately, we do have family close by - I have a brother who has called frequently, bless his heart, and my father and I have talked some, and my husband has checked on neighbors and his mother. We're not exactly sequestered in silence up here on our little knoll.

That doesn't mean I don't want to get out of the house. My outings previously were limited mostly to trips to the grocery store, the chiropractor, and Walmart, but at least I got out. Now, I go nowhere except on short drives "around the block" which here is an hour's ride because we don't have blocks but eventually you loop back to where you started.

My husband insists on doing the grocery shopping. Because I tend to catch everything, he doesn't want me out of the house.

When things come in the house, they either sit in the sun or are sprayed with Lysol or wiped down with a Clorox wipe. He takes a shower every time he leaves our property and comes back. I stay six feet away from him until he's clean. I wear gloves to handle food until it's all been washed and put away.

I freeze grapes. I used to not do that, they'd go bad faster than I could eat them, but now I am immediately taking half of them and putting them in the freezer. I also froze a half-gallon of milk so I would have milk here if I needed it for recipes. I put two cups each into smaller containers and froze those. I mean, you never know when you may need two cups of milk.

Spring is bursting out all over the place. The grass is green and the cows no longer need to be fed - they ignore the hay in favor of the new grass. The blackberry brambles have leaves. The oak trees have growths of green. The redbuds have been beautiful this year. The dogwoods are starting to bloom.

The deer and turkey have been roaming around the house, unfazed by our continued presence. Sometimes it seems like we're the ones in the zoo and they're the ones looking in.

Around 4 a.m. this morning I woke to a bright shining Strawberry moon, not quite full, as it sent moonbeams sliding into my window. A cloud soon covered it and I went back to sleep.

I tire easily these days. I don't know if it is the atmosphere, the constant drumbeat of "something is wrong," or simply my age, but I feel worn out by the time afternoon reaches its zenith. I don't nap, though, because I don't sleep at night if I sleep in the day.

That constant hum of "all is not well" has become a monotonous drone in the background, rather like the chatter of locust in summer when they come out, or maybe it's like tinnitus, which I have and which frequently sounds like a high-pitched squeal. But now there's a low frequency background,  one not of my own making, resounding in my heart. Drums beating out an unspeakable message: stay home, stay home, stay home.

As an introvert, staying home is not awful. I like to be at home. What's got me bumfuzzled is my changing routine. I had a routine and then my husband had his ankle surgery. That changed my routine significantly. Now he is up and about, and my routine is not yet back into something recognizable. Because now I have to spend much time wiping down doorknobs and wiping off the groceries and worrying over him if I know he is out beyond the boundaries of our farm. I do more laundry. That constant hum of "all is not well" overlays everything, and I can't think clearly, and my focus is that of a butterfly, flitting from flower to flower and never quite landing safely.

So this is the Pandemic Monday notation. It's a partly cloudy day, though we've had a sprinkle of rain. And my routine will once again be interrupted today, because I'm off to watch my governor update us on the latest number of deaths and positive cases, and see what else the officials advise.

Be well, be safe, stay healthy, stay inside, dear reader. Take care of yourselves as best you can.

For the Record

I took this from a Facebook post on The Atlantic page. I want to remember this, so I am posting it here.

 

Facts. For the record:
JUST SO WE ARE CLEAR ON THE TIMELINE:

Dec 18th - House Impeaches Trump
Jan 8th - First CDC warning
Jan 9th - Trump campaign rally
Jan 14th - Trump campaign rally
Jan 16th - House sends impeachment articles to Senate
Jan 18th - Trump golfs
Jan 19th - Trump golfs
Jan 20th - first case of corona virus in the US, Washington State.
Jan 22nd - “We have it totally under control. It’s one person coming in from China. It’s going to be just fine.”
Jan 28th - Trump campaign rally
Jan 30th - Trump campaign rally
Feb 1st - Trump golfs
Feb 2nd - “We pretty much shut it down coming in from China."
Feb 5th - Senate votes to acquit. Then takes a five-day weekend.
Feb 10th - Trump campaign rally
Feb 12th - Dow Jones closes at an all time high of 29,551.42
Feb 15h - Trump golfs
Feb 19th - Trump campaign rally
Feb 20th - Trump campaign rally
Feb 21st - Trump campaign rally
Feb 24th - “The Coronavirus is very much under control in the USA… Stock Market starting to look very good to me!”
Feb 25h - “CDC and my Administration are doing a GREAT job of handling Coronavirus.”
Feb 25th - “I think that's a problem that’s going to go away… They have studied it. They know very much. In fact, we’re very close to a vaccine.”
Feb 26th - “The 15 (cases in the US) within a couple of days is going to be down to close to zero.”
Feb 26th - “We're going very substantially down, not up.” Also "This is a flu. This is like a flu"; "Now, you treat this like a flu"; "It's a little like the regular flu that we have flu shots for. And we'll essentially have a flu shot for this in a fairly quick manner."
February 27th: “One day it’s like a miracle, it will disappear.”
Feb 28th - “We're ordering a lot of supplies. We're ordering a lot of, uh, elements that frankly we wouldn't be ordering unless it was something like this. But we're ordering a lot of different elements of medical.”
Feb 28th - Trump campaign rally
March 2nd - “You take a solid flu vaccine, you don't think that could have an impact, or much of an impact, on corona?”
March 2nd - “A lot of things are happening, a lot of very exciting things are happening and they’re happening very rapidly.”
March 4th: “If we have thousands or hundreds of thousands of people that get better just by, you know, sitting around and even going to work — some of them go to work, but they get better.”
March 5th - “I NEVER said people that are feeling sick should go to work.”
March 5th - “The United States… has, as of now, only 129 cases… and 11 deaths. We are working very hard to keep these numbers as low as possible!”
March 6th - “I think we’re doing a really good job in this country at keeping it down… a tremendous job at keeping it down.”
March 6th - “Anybody right now, and yesterday, anybody that needs a test gets a test. They’re there. And the tests are beautiful…. the tests are all perfect like the letter was perfect. The transcription was perfect. Right? This was not as perfect as that but pretty good.”
March 6th - “I like this stuff. I really get it. People are surprised that I understand it… Every one of these doctors said, ‘How do you know so much about this?’ Maybe I have a natural ability. Maybe I should have done that instead of running for president.”
March 6th - “I don't need to have the numbers double because of one ship that wasn't our fault.”
March 7th - Trump golfs
March 8th - Trump golfs
March 8th - “We have a perfectly coordinated and fine tuned plan at the White House for our attack on CoronaVirus.”
March 9th - “This blindsided the world.”
March 13th - [Declared state of emergency]
March 17th - “This is a pandemic,” Mr. Trump told reporters. “I felt it was a pandemic long before it was called a pandemic.”
March 18th - "It’s not racist at all. No. Not at all. It comes from China. That’s why. It comes from China. I want to be accurate."
March 23th- Dow Jones closes at 18,591.93
March 25th - 3.3 million Americans file for unemployment.
March 30th - Dow Jones closes at 21,917.16
April 2nd - 6.6 million Americans file for unemployment.

Pandemic 2020 - Day 18

It was a Friday the 13th when the United States stood still - and the toilet paper disappeared.

That day in March of 2020, the public realized that we aren't immune to things that affect the rest of the world, and the race to the grocery stores left everyone stunned and frightened.

Essential supplies vanished overnight.

Here at the ol' farm, I'd been stocking up a little bit at a time for about two months, picking up an extra can of soup and such here and there. We have always had plenty of toilet paper, a habit I apparently inherited from my grandmother. It's a staple we have always purchased in bulk and in multiples of that.

What I miss the most is the fresh food - and getting out of the house once a week or so for a tour around the grocery aisles. I have not been in a store since the 13th, as I have asthma and my husband believes that he has a stronger immune system than I do, even though he is older.

I've had a few Sunday drives with him, but mostly I've stayed home. It rained most of March, so the weather was dour and glum. This did nothing to help the situation. On warmer days I tried to get outside a little, wearing a dust mask because I am allergic to everything and the pollen has been high. I also was sick for two weeks with something - not Covid-19 - I had a little sore throat and laryngitis but ran no fever. It is another reason for my husband's insistence I stay home, though.

My hair is growing by leaps and bounds, and a week ago I took the scissors to my bangs. Unfortunately, I wear progressive lenses, and I can't see a thing without them, but I can't cut my hair with my specs on. The cut was too high and crooked, but the hair is out of my eyes for the time being. I discovered one needs a very sharp pair of scissors for hair cutting. Mine were incredibly dull. I thought about ordering a pair but apparently so has everyone else, as all but the very expensive hair cutting scissors were out of stock.

Oh well.

I still talk to my friends on the phone, and we text and email. Aside from my trips to the chiropractor and the grocery store, little has changed except for this general uneasiness that has gripped me. I've had vivid dreams and nightmares, and I've noticed it is difficult to concentrate. As much as I'd like to start a new project, I'm not sure now is the time to do it.

We did have one issue come up this weekend - the mattress on the bed has developed a failure on one side. The mattress is still under warranty but it will be some time before we can attend to this matter. For one thing, I don't want strange people in my home right now and for another I don't think any of the mattress stores are open.

Today, Governor Ralph Northam initiated executive order no. 55, which tells us to shelter-in-place. We are only to leave our homes for food, medicine, and fresh air/exercise.

That's a rather clinical assessment of the last 18 days, I think. Perhaps I will get more into the emotional toll at another time.

For now, I simply wanted to make a note of this strange and unprecedented time in my blog.

Be well, dear reader, and may the universe look after you.

Thrift Store Jungles

People on Facebook are saying that, during this time of  pandemic crisis, they are clearing out stuff.

Decluttering.

Organizing.

Rearranging.

Goodwill and similar resources will be the recipients of discarded, yet still useful, items, I suppose.

I don't go into Goodwill not because I'm too good for it but because it smells like my attic. I don't go in my attic, either.

Both upset my allergies.

This is not the time to have a yard sale, not when folks are supposed to be separated and no more than 10 people in an area at a time. Perhaps in 10 weeks there will be lots of yard sales.

The last time I went to a yard sale was probably 20 years ago. I went in the early hours and the dew was still wet on everything. I slipped on the asphalt at the home with a steep driveway and fell. I tore my pants, bruised up my arm, and bent my glasses.

Not a soul saw me fall, as best I could tell. If they did, they didn't say anything.

I picked myself up and went home, and haven't been to a yard sale since. If I were an eBay seller, though, I would go to yard sales and auctions because people rid themselves of nice stuff sometimes. However, I am not an eBay seller.

Most folks have too many things. Sometimes there is a good reason for replacements or buying new. For example, I have sneakers that I replace every six months. They're still basically good shoes, they've just worn too much for my feet. I have very picky feet that require a stiff-soled shoe. After a while, the soles become loose and I begin having pain. That's when I know it's time to buy a new pair of shoes.

I don't think I've bought a pair of worn shoes. I wonder if they really sell them at Goodwill, or do they go to some other place to be melted down or whatever one might do with a shoe.

Other times, though, people buy new things for unknown reasons. I have a pair or two of shoes that I doubt I will ever wear again, shoes I bought to wear to a special event. I wonder when we will have special events again.

At any rate, when the curfews are lifted and we're all free to go back to browsing things, I look for eBay and the local thrift stores to have loads of stuff available because people are home going through boxes and realizing they've done without this whatsit for 10 years so they may as well rid themselves of it.

I am not doing any of that at the moment. I am home all the time anyway and I clear stuff out when the mood strikes me. Besides, the things I need to clear out are generally papers and they need to be burned or shredded, not sent to a thrift store.

Maybe clearing a shelf would be good therapy, though. Perhaps I'll give it a go, and send my own things to the thrift store jungles.

Empty Shelves

Apparently the naysayers decided in the last two days that maybe the global corona virus isn't a Democratic hoax after all. The stores around here, which is a Republican stronghold, emptied out quickly. Somebody's listening to the so-called "fake media," I think.

Not much toilet paper at Walmart on Thursday.

Dried beans are a hot commodity at Food Lion.

Want drinking water? You're out of luck.

No toilet paper at Food Lion, either.

I took these photos early this morning; I understand from a friend that the shelves are sparser now.

My brother, who I think up until yesterday also thought this was a media overkill issue, told my husband last night to tell me to stay home for the next two months because of my asthma and respiratory issues. My sibling had attended a seminar for small business owners and apparently the speakers got through to him that this is serious stuff.

Don't panic, but be prudent. Take precautions.

Wash your hands and sing Old McDonald or Happy Birthday or something.

As for me, I might listen to my brother and keep my butt inside.

Thursday Thirteen

The bills are starting to roll in on my husband's ankle fusion surgery. I thought a little breakdown might be interesting.

1. Basic metabolic panel  - $247.00 (labwork)

2. Cutting open his ankle - $2,147.00

3. Cutting his tibia - $1,629.00

4. Each of his pills he had to have (blood pressure meds), cost $3 each.

5. A countersink (?) - $1,559.50

6. A drill bit - $937.50

7. Another drill bit - $912.50

8. A blade (for cutting bone, I suppose) - $314.00

9. Another drill bit - $1,181.50

10. A bone graft augment (?) - $10,793.50

11. An implant screw (x 2)  - $3,629.50 each

12. An implant plate - $7,446.00

13. More implant screws (x 2) - $2,813.00 each

So far the total bill is over $75,000 and more bills come each day for things like the anesthesiologist, the doctor to read his EKG, the person to draw his blood - they bill separately for everything, now, and if that person doesn't partake in your insurance, you're liable for their entire bill.

Fortunately, so far as we can, our insurance is covering most everyone. Even so, we will be out five figures before this is over and done with.

A person should not go bankrupt because they have the misfortune of being sick or having something happen to them. Nor should they have to resort to "GoFundMe" or dances or cake bakes to pay off their hospital bills. Yet this is what happens around here - people really do have dances and things because of their medical expenses, hoping to pick up a couple thousand to keep the wolves of Isengard at bay - I mean, the medical professionals from garnishing your paycheck or taking out a lien on your house.

I don't understand why this is considered acceptable. We're supposedly the wealthiest nation in the world and people have to have cake bakes to pay their medical bills. There is something wrong with that scenario.

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Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; there is a list here if you want to read other Thursday Thirteens and/or play along. I've been playing for a while and this is my 637th time to do a list of 13 on a Thursday. Or so sayth the Blogger counter, anyway.

The Stench of Deregulation

For the last several days, there has been a ring about the valley in which I live. It is hovering below the mountains, a line of pollution that I can see in every direction I look.

I can smell it, too, when I go outside. It reminds me of my childhood. When I was about 10 years old, I would frequently go outside in the mornings and smell this awful smell.

"I smell Covington," was the line we used. It was the line everyone used, because the paper mill was in Covington and it sent wafts of pollution into the air on an hourly basis. When the wind was right, we all smelled Covington, even though it's about a 45 minute drive away.

And now I smell Covington again, only I don't think it's Covington. I think it's the cement plant. We also have new industries that have sprang up in the last 20 years and who knows what they're throwing up in the air.

(Also, folks are burning wood in their fireplaces now because it's winter, it's cold, and despite all this winning we have in the economy, lots of folks must burn wood to keep warm.)

Many of these local industries in 2017 fell under deregulations put in place by the current administration. Regulations that were meant to stop pollution so that people like me, people with asthma and other breathing problems, might live our lives without choking when we walk out the door. Twenty-one different regulations that stopped air pollution were "rolled back" so that the company owners might make a higher profit.

In 2018, the Environmental Protection Agency decided to reread the rules to suit themselves, and in so doing, they allowed even more pollution to enter our air.

This is supposed to save every household $3,100 over a 5 to 10 year period. The White House has a lovely .pdf that I've linked to that proclaims this deregulation stuff to be the best thing since Nixon said, "I am not a crook." This is a bunch of made-up guess-work (some would call it Fake News). Does anyone really think the corporations are going to take their savings and make the cost of their products less? Do you see the cost of products lessening? I don't. Those savings are going to the pockets of CEOS and shareholders.

All this is doing for me is increasing my doctor bills.

An inhaler costs me $40 under my insurance plan. I'm supposed to use it every 4 hours, two puffs at a time. It only has 200 inhalations. At that rate it won't last a month.

So I skimp on my inhaler and don't use it as prescribed. That means I'm not taking in enough air and I'm tired all the time. The last time I was checked by my asthma doctor, I was only able to use about 70 percent of my lung capacity without an inhaler.

My father asked me a while back how my life has been affected under this presidency when I complained about this administration.

Well, this is one way.

I can't breathe.

Pollution rising from the cement plant, which is just over the ridge. Photo taken on 11-13-2019.

Back to the Doctor

I went to see my doctor's PA today.

My doctor, I was told, is booked through the end of the year. Not exactly what you want to hear when you sitting in the room getting your blood checked, but at least she has the PA available.

While I was there, I had an asthma attack. The PA listened to my lungs and could hear the wheezing. She then administered a nebulizer, which is a breathing thing that forces albuterol down into your lungs. The wheezing cleared up, as did the coughing, until about 4 p.m. this afternoon.

My doctor, bless her, came into my room to see me anyway, for just a moment. She gave me a hug, heard what the PA said and agreed with her treatment, hugged me again, and went off to her next patient.

I am so lucky I have such a good doctor.

Now I'm coughing again but I am so far resisting the cough medicine she prescribed. It has guaifenesin in it and that stuff makes me jittery, especially this time of day. I did resort to an inhaler a bit ago.

I have been sick since November 30, so two weeks.

The doctor also gave me a second round of antibiotics, something I've neve had before. It is supposed to help with this type of respiratory thing.

We shall see. I hope I wake up in the morning feeling like a new woman.

This is a horrible time to be sick, especially since my husband is still recovering from surgery and non-weight bearing on one foot (his driving foot!). It's not like I can send him out to the supermarket, so I've been overdoing things a bit, I suspect, by trying to take care of everything.

I am not one to go to bed when I am ill, though I prefer to stay home and not go out. Even so, I still manage 7,000 steps on my Fitbit.

Somebody has to do the laundry, after all.

Post-Op Report

Went with husband to his post-op check up today. My brother actually took him; I followed in my car. Husband did not believe he could ride in my vehicle (I thought otherwise). I have since informed him since that my Camry isn't good enough, we need a third car so my vehicle will be, in fact, my vehicle, since right now we have "his" truck and "our" car and I would like to have a car of my own.

I would like to have a Corolla instead of a Camry, I think. I know he couldn't (or wouldn't try to) fit in a Corolla and I wouldn't have to worry about constantly adjusting the seats and mirrors and finding chewing tobacco spills all over the seat.

But I digress.

At the doctor's office, we saw pictures of the screws and plates in his foot. After the bandages were removed, we realized that he had incisions in more places than we'd been told by the "helper" in the hospital. As I did not talk to the damn doctor (he will always be that in my mind), I am not surprised to find we didn't know this.

The damn doctor looked at his foot, said it was healing nicely, and then sent him off for an x-ray and to have a cast put in place.

Husband chose fire-engine red for his cast color.

Now it is a matter of keeping it elevated and continuing to be non-weight bearing. He is getting along well, really. He's not a demanding patient and now that he is up and around he is doing a few things for himself, like making his coffee

In other not-so-great news, I've developed a sore throat, bleeding sinuses, and an earache. I don't have a temperature and my doctor doesn't work on Friday afternoons.

I tried really hard not to catch something but it is next to impossible to go out of the house and not walk into germs. Plus we've had a lot more people in the house than normal - visitors and home health care folks. Who knows what they drag inside. I have been appalled at the perfume some of the home health care people have worn - one person came in reeking of some smelly-good stuff and I literally had to leave the room and then air out the house after she left.

I plan to complain about many things about Carilion and its drive-by surgery proceedings. This so-called "home health care" is a joke.

Letters are in the works, with cc to Nancy Agee (who is already familiar with me as a champion of those who experience crap at the hands of Carilion, though it's been a few years since my messed-up surgery there).

The community deserves better.

Just Another Day

The patient is doing well. He was up a lot yesterday, sitting and watching TV and listening to an audiobook. He is back in the bed more today, so he was probably up too much. However, this afternoon finds him at his own computer, looking at whatever he looks at.

He is now fetching some of his own items. Bottled water, diet Dr. Pepper, his cans of snuff that I am reluctant to give him in the first place. We are finding our new routine, which basically means that my day doesn't start until after 11 a.m., after I get him bathed and fed and all of that.

It is very tiring for him to have an unusable foot. Everything takes a little thought and more time. That goes for both of us.

He watched me carry out the trash yesterday. The bag had grown heavier than I thought (I try to keep them light), so I walked a few feet, felt the pain in my abdomen, stopped, set the bag down briefly, let the pain subside, picked up the bag, walked a few feet, etc., until I reached the outbuilding where the outside trash cans are.

Doable. A little slow, but I am managing. He didn't like it that it took me so long, that I was in the cold that long, that I had to do it at all, really. But it's better out there than stinking up the garage. And it's how I've learned to manage, after 6 years of dealing with my own tiring health issues. I think this has been enlightening for him, to watch me work through my days, getting the laundry done, the dishes cleaned up, still managing the household as best I can.

We have put up a small 3-foot tree that we bought at Walmart. It has no decorations because I can't lift the boxes to get to the decorations. At least it gives off a little holiday light.

My husband packs up boxes as full as he can, and puts things where he can reach them. So the Christmas things are heavy and up high. He is 6' 2" tall and I'm 5' 1' tall. I have a bad back and bad ab muscles, and can't lift much over 10 pounds or so. I could stand on a stool and unpack the boxes from on high, I guess, but I don't see the point. If I decide I simply must have decorations on this tiny little tree, it would be easier to go to the dollar store and buy something cheap to throw on there than to dig out the boxes.

Carilion Transgressions

I was going to write a blog post about my wait at Carilion, but too much time has passed. I think I will, though, leave a list of transgressions here so I can come back to it when I sit down to write a letter to somebody at that facility.

1. The pre-op people said to bring an overnight bag with you. They said it would be placed on the gurney, taken with my husband into surgery, and then it would be there with him when he was sent to his recovery room. But they don't do that anymore. I had to walk the entire length of the hospital, led there by a volunteer, so I could pick up the things he took with him, plus the clothing he had on. Just his shoes are heavy (size 13 feet). So I was stuck with all of this stuff that if the pre-op instructions had been accurate would have been left in the car. They have a disconnect between what actually happens and the instructions. This should be fixed.

2. The PT people need to see the patient prior to surgery to go over ways to maneuver and figure out the best assistance device before the surgery. He saw a PT immediately after who helped him figure out he needed a walker (not something we'd considered), and then for whatever reason Carilion Home Health sent a PT down on Monday to see him. He can't do PT now. That was a waste of money.

3. The occupational therapist needs to see the patient prior to surgery, too, and probably again immediately thereafter. The occupational therapist did the most good when she came to the house.

4. The damn doctor never came to the waiting room to tell me what he did to my husband. He never called or anything. I complained to the nurse after I got to my husband's room and she tracked down an assistant who'd helped with the surgery. I didn't want to talk to an assistant. I wanted to talk to the damn doctor. I still haven't talked to the damn doctor. The damn doctor did talk to my husband but he was just coming out from anesthesia and can't remember anything he said. Not helpful.

5. The valet parking people were rude. I accept some responsibility for this, as we'd given them the extra key fob to the car to park it. We asked for a handicapped spot and apparently those are all in front of the hospital. I didn't realize they were going to place it in a line until they could find a handicapped space for it in front of the hospital. After the volunteer gave me all of my husband's clothing and bags, etc., I decided I'd go put the stuff in the car rather than try to keep up with it. I assumed the car would be parked but it was in a line waiting to be parked when a space emptied out. When I asked where the car was, one of the men handed me the key fob and I went to the car. The key fob was acting funny, I could tell, but I had other things on my mind. I put my husband's clothing in the back seat and couldn't get the key fob to lock the doors. Since I had the other key fob in my pocketbook I thought one was messing up the other. I left the doors unlocked - if anyone wanted his big shoes they could have them - and handed the key fob back to the valet fellow. About an hour later one of the men called me and said my car wouldn't start and he accused me of switching key fobs when I went down before. I did not do that, of course. I went back down to the front of the hospital and found the man, who dared me to start the car with that key fob. I did, because I read the owner's manual to my car and I know that if you put the key fob against the electric start if the fob battery is dead, it will start the car anyway. He basically accused me of witchcraft even after I explained to him how to start a car with a dead key fob, which you would think someone who is working as a car valet would know. Certainly that can't be the first time a key fob for an electric start vehicle has gone dead. Anyway, the man parked my car then tore my paperwork off my key fob and threw at me, after again accusing me of switching key fobs on him (why would I even do that?). It was a dead battery and certainly nothing intentional on my part, good grief. The man was very rude. (It is also possible the damn doctor came out to the waiting room while I was dealing with the rude valet people, but even so, the woman at the waiting room desk had my cell number and knew where I was and he could have called.)

6. We called the hospital on Tuesday, November 26, about pain medication. Carilion called yesterday, December 2, to tell my husband he had pain medication ready at the Riverside pharmacy and we could come and pick it up. A week later. I know there was a holiday in there, but really? We told them to keep their drugs as he no longer needed them.

7. I had called my husband's doctor two weeks before his surgery and told the nurse I wanted help with bathing him while he was doped up on pain killers. We got a PT, RN visits every couple of days, and an OT. How was this helpful, really? What if I had been really, really disabled, like in a wheelchair or something myself? Is this how they deal with this kind of family concern? This makes no sense. The RN visits I am tolerating but he is not running a fever or exhibiting any signs of any problems whatsoever. His pain level is next to nothing. I've had a higher pain level than he has during most of this. Somebody was not listening.