Facebook is Evil

Here are the first 15 things I see in my FB feed as I start to write this:

1. An article that says "Anxiety Makes People Clean Obsessively."
2. A political advertisement
3. An article from Bill Moyers that says, "John Roberts is Following Corporate America's Long Time Plan."
4. A post from "Empaths, Old Souls & Introverts" that is a quote about solitude.
5. Another quote that says, "Quarantine ain't over, get back inside."
6. A post from NBC news about the US Supreme Court about a ruling on voting.
7. A political advertisement
8. A picture of somebody's kid drinking a milkshake
9. A post with an article about a church
10. A post from WDBJ7 about a vandalized cemetery in Georgia
11. A post with a cartoon of #45 hugging the Confederate flag
12. An advertisement for masks
13. A post with a quote about parenting.
14. A post from Slate.com about "White Fragility"
15. A post from PBS about how Independence Day should be July 2.

Was any of that relevant to me at that particular moment? No. And the thing is, I will never see that same stuff again. Facebook changes every time you open it, offering something new. 

It's part of it's allure.

I have 582 friends, and of the 15 posts above, two are things shared from friends. The rest comes from media pages or is advertising. None of my friends are unfollowed or anything. Maybe they don't post. But mostly I don't see it. I'm allowed 30 people to list as "see first" and none of those are posts I should see first. My "see first" list is mostly family members and close friends.

Not a single one of those first 15 things is from a family member or close friend.

Facebook is evil. I have been searching for something different, but there isn't anything else out there that keeps me connected to people, that allows me to ask for recommendations, or allows me to see things I might otherwise not see. (I have a twitter account but I don't like twitter. It's just a bunch of noise.)

As a (former) news reporter, being able to connect is important. But connection is not the end-all of life, and I'm starting to wonder if I wouldn't be better off without some of those connections.

For one thing, why do I see an ad every 5th post? That's a lot of ads.

The anonymity of Facebook is a problem, too. Even if people are posting under their own names, they are pontificating out into a space without regard for the people behind the names who might see it. 

People are mean on Facebook. I have blocked a lot of people I don't know. They are people whose comments under articles are horrific. They call names, they are evil, they offer nothing of value. I block them so I never see them again.

Yesterday, I nicely asked someone who was sending me stuff on FB messenger quite frequently to stop. Here's my request and her response. 

Then she unfriended me.

Bye bye. No skin off my teeth, although she might have a hard time explaining to my brother why she unfriended me at some point, since that was our connection. Or not. Who knows.

And yes, it stung a little even though this person did this for no reason but spite, I guess. (This goes back to a conversation I had last week, wherein it was determined that I am a people pleaser and part of the reason I haven't finished a book is because I'm afraid someone won't like it. Or me. And maybe that's true. But this morning the sting of the "unfriend" is gone and replaced mostly with amusement and a bit of a wry, "Fuck you" attitude. I'm working on the latter as a default. Topic for another day.)

Back to my point. Facebook is bad for us. By us, I mean all of humanity. Actually it isn't only Facebook, it's the whole of social connectedness on the Internet. If all we had on the Internet were resources, as if it were one gigantic encyclopedia where we looked things up, then the Internet would be great. But this push for "connectedness" is the problem.

Because the connection has become the value, not the people making up the connection. When humanity is not valued, when we stop recognizing there are people behind the names, folks with real feelings and pain, then we're lost.

Facebook manipulates. It does this solely for the sake of revenue. Facebook's algorithms don't care if a person is good or bad. It sends that person what it thinks the person wants to see. I get weird ads because I am curious about many things and I think Facebook can't decide whether I'm a Republican or a Democrat. I receive ads for both, because I try to read stories from both sides of the fence.

But Facebook and other companies like LinkedIn, for example, are driven by profit. They need us to engage, to like, to click. Every click helps the software understand what we like and want to see more of. This helps them target advertising, and Facebook in particular doesn't care what that advertising is. If someone wants to target "witch haters" there's a category for that, I suspect. If someone wants to target "witch lovers," same thing.

It goes like this: 
I react to a post with a thumbs up.
Facebook decides I like that kind of stuff (kitties, Lord of the Rings topics, guitars, whatever)
Facebook sends me more stuff like that.
The company uses its knowledge of me to send me ads that it thinks I will like, hoping I will click on them.

Because of all of these ads, Facebook is the world's largest marketing company. It can pinpoint, with some accuracy, what a person wants to see and what companies want me to see their product. Facebook makes money from the ad clicks.

Facebook is collecting tons of data every time I open up my FB page, or leave it sit open on my computer. (I refuse to put FB on my phone.)

The only choice I have in the use of this data, really, is whether or not I use Facebook. If I use it, I lose control of the data the minute the account is created.

That leaves tons of personal data, most of which I am not even aware I've imparted, in the hands of a massive corporation that sees me not as human being, but as a data set. I'm just a bunch of 010101s in their eyes, and the way that data is manipulated equals how much money I make them.

Because we live in a capitalistic society that worships money and does not give one damn about humanity, either in aggregate or as a sole entity, Facebook can and will use this data any way it wants to make as much money off of my data set as it can. Never mind if the ads hurt my feelings, or manipulates me into something I otherwise would not have been manipulated into.

If Facebook uses my data for nefarious reasons, it might show me content to try to change my mind on something. Theoretically, it could try to make me fall in line with whatever agenda is most beneficial to it - and maybe that's a political stance, or maybe it's just a lot of ads that Facebook is good so I'll keep using it.

Unfortunately, Facebook has actually experimented on its users to see how people react to things. In 2014, an article published by Forbes described a “massive psychological experiment” Facebook created to test reactions to emotional content. The result? Users created similar content that reflected the emotions Facebook was throwing at them. This is called "emotional contagion." I feel sure they do such tests regularly, and we don't know it.

This means Facebook has the power to manipulate me, no matter how intelligent I may think I am. 

I think this is evil.

The more I am on Facebook, the more exhausting and useless I find it to be. I don't post much, and I try not to post too many political items on it because of my work as a writer.

My last 15 posts?
1. How to watch the "Buck Moon" lunar eclipse
2. A personal post about my heat pump dying and the good service I received.
3. A quote from The Lord of the Rings
4. Sharing of an article about #45's decisions on the coronavirus and how poorly the federal response has been to this pandemic.
5. A quote from the mayor of Edisto Beach, SC, about wearing masks.
6. Shared a post from Carilion Clinic about its "Art as Healing" program
7. Shared a video of a priest dancing to "Oh Happy Day."
8. Posted a photo of my mother on her birthday and suggested folks donate to pancreatic cancer research foundations.
9. Shared a post about Ian Holms' death (he was an actor in The Lord of the Rings movies)
10. Posted a photo about maintaining social distance that I thought was novel.

11. Shared Roanoke Fire-EMS's announcement of my husband's retirement.
12. Shared a survey about responses to the pandemic and mental health
13. Posted a request that people who live around me report to APCO if they were having power outages.
14. Shared a story about how Germany responded to the pandemic.
15. Thanked people for wishing me happy birthday.

I have no idea what any of that says about me, other than I think the US response to the pandemic has been poor (which is obvious to anyone who can read), I like Lord of the Rings, astronomy, and had a birthday.

But all of that can be used against me, somehow or another. I guess a Lord of the Rings hater could come after me with gusto if he/she wanted.

Let's face it. Facebook is bad. It's only grown worse. It's irritating. It is no longer just a place to share stories about pets. I've been on Facebook for 11 years. When I look at my friends list, I honestly don't know who a lot of these people are. Many asked to be my friend when I was writing for the newspaper. Some I went to high school with and have no desire to ever see again.

If I haven't talked to someone in three years, do I really need to see photos of his or her dinner in my Facebook feed? Do I need to know that they are Republican or Democrat? 

It's really better if I don't know, to be honest.

My news feed doesn't do me much good anymore, aside from updates on the weather and occasionally local news. The algorithm has gotten out of hand. Facebook now knows so much about me that it belches out everything it can at me, regardless of my stance on various issues. Since I'm a curious person who does a lot of online research, I see some bizarre things sometimes.

How do I fix this, if I want to stay on Facebook? Sometimes I unfollow someone for 30 days - put them on "snooze" - if they're posting things constantly that I find ridiculous. Or if I realize I don't know who someone is and don't care if I ever see anything from them again, I could unfollow them. I could even unfriend the people I recognize only as names.

Then I'd end up with a feed full of news, I suspect, because I also follow various newspapers and other news media. I used to be a reporter. Of course I wanted to see the press releases of obscure crap when I was writing for the paper. But I'm not so sure I want to see it now. Why did I see a story about the Buck Moon first thing this morning? Because Facebook knows I follow NASA and am interested in eclipses.

So then a valid story becomes propaganda, doesn't it? Doesn't that reinforce my "like" for things not of this earth?

Is Facebook still relevant to me in my life? I don't know. 

I do know I don't want to know that neighbor-so-and-so thinks #45 was anointed by God. That just gives me the creeps and it isn't information I can do anything with. 

I do want to know if my friend fell down and hurt herself, so I can offer to help, or if my local county government has done something that would affect me. Some information is important to me.

But I think most of it is not. Not anymore. Facebook has now tied me to people I'd just as soon not be tied to, really, and I know more about them than I want to know. I try not share too much personal information on Facebook (see above). But of course I do. It's what it's there for. I want my friends (my real friends) to know my husband retired. I want them to know there's a lunar eclipse at midnight on July 4 because I think that's interesting. But politics? Religion? The things we were told not to talk about when we were younger?

Maybe most of that stuff needs to stay where it used to be, between close friends who meet for tea on the back patio on a warm summer's evening.

Facebook is about connections. Sometimes connections aren't good. I see posts all the time with pictures saying "This person did thus and so . . . let's make this go viral." This is to punish the person for whatever they did and I never, ever post those. This kind of thing is how the governor of Michigan ended up with a bunch of white rednecks with AR-15 style rifles in the state house, bitching about wearing masks.

It is how wearing masks became political.

Not all connections are good. When a company creates connections and sees those connections only as data, it can and will do whatever it likes with the information. You can do anything you want to data. You can do things to data that you'd never do to an actual human being.

Maybe it's time to let Facebook go, or let it just be a news feed and not a social connection.

Thursday Thirteen

1. I am so late doing a Thursday 13 today, I almost missed it.

2. Let me explain: the heat pump went out last night just before we went to bed. It was hot.

3. Only the heat pump man could help. He called with a quick fix that my husband implemented.

4. And that worked, but for only about half the night.

5. The heat and humidity in the bedroom was rising around 4:30 a.m., when I got up.

6. How my husband continued to sleep, I do not know. But he did. He even snored.

7. Early to bed, early to rise - makes an old woman tired, to no one's surprise.

8. Took a shower early, a cool one, so I would be dressed and not in my nightgown. I didn't know when help might arrive.

9. Right on schedule, just before 7 a.m., the phone rang and it was Cundiff Heating to the rescue!

10. Understandably, I was elated because we are looking at 95+ degree temperatures today, and high humidity.

11. Man, when that truck rolled into the driveway, I could feel the relief. Still hot, but relieved.

12. Pleased with the results as the cold air began to slide into the house, I slipped the workman a $20 and told him to buy himself an ice cold drink later in the heat of the day.

13. And that's why my Thursday 13 makes no sense, because I didn't sleep well, I was up too early, and my thinker isn't thinking due to overheating last night.

Yeah, I'm a little princess who needs a good night's sleep.

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Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; there is a list here if you want to read other Thursday Thirteens and/or play along. I've been playing for a while and this is my 663rd time to do a list of 13 on a Thursday. Or so sayth the Blogger counter, anyway.

Happy Birthday, Dad

Today is my father's birthday. He missed being in June with the rest of us by one day.

He always has been an outlier. Ha. He likes to think of himself as a rogue, anyway.

Before I called my father around 8:20 a.m. this morning, I heard a story on him. A friend had called to see if he could come over to fish. He told me, "I remember your dad one year was making hay here in front of the house. He was driving that tractor as fast as it would go and he would spear those round bales and never even slow down. I was sure he was going to turn the tractor over, but he never did and he kept right on going."

I laughed and said, "Dad only has two speeds: all out and asleep."

My father is 79 years old. He came over on my birthday in June to say, "I came to see you because I've never had a 57-year-old daughter." Well, I've never had a 79-year-old father!

He may have slowed down a little, but not much. He is retired - sort of - but still keeps his hand in the politics of the business he built up starting sometime in the early 1970s. He likes to work around his property - and I mean big jobs, like moving dirt with heavy machinery. He plants corn to feed the bears. I have no idea why.

He played the guitar, and I enjoyed that and hearing him sing. Because of him, I grew up around music and that was a great gift he gave me.

Dad with his current band

He was gone a lot. He traveled as a salesman and he played in a band on the weekend. After he bought the farm, then his "free time" was spent working on it, making hay, taking care of cattle, along with his work and his music (he didn't give up the music until after I'd left home). 

At one point, he had a lot of birds, like quail and guineas. Chickens, too. I remember having to fetch the eggs until my mother figured out I was allergic to the chickens and the straw in their nests. I stayed sick and my father didn't have much patience with a sick kid, especially a girl.

Dad with his wife, Rita

His focus was on making money and being successful, not on parenting, and while I turned out ok, I have always thought that was more because I raised myself and read a lot of books. He was sometimes generous; he gave me an old car to drive when I got my license (a Datsun), and he helped me buy my next car, paid for the big wedding I didn't want but my mother did, and helped us build our house. 

I appreciated the time he spent helping us put in the electrical wiring more so than any money he gave us. Money is his love language. Time spent with a person is mine. They don't necessarily work together, and that's okay.

My first guitar belonged to him - an old Gibson that he said a woman gave to him because he rescued her from a burning house. I think I have that right. The Gibson later was damaged when my parents' own house burned down. That seems rather circular, doesn't it, in the telling. There should be a poem there.

When I was 14, for Christmas he and Mom gave me an electric guitar, an off-brand that looked like a Gibson Les Paul and actually played better than a Les Paul. I still have that guitar. It is heavy and it has a short in the wiring now. I had someone fix it but the repair didn't hold. Then I started having back issues and it was too heavy to play. Now I play a lighter electric guitar, but that old no-name electric guitar will always have a special place in my heart even if I never hold it again.

Dad with his grandson, about five years ago

We went camping when I was young, though I don't remember those trips, just stories about them. I recall an odd and long adventure that involved a drive across the United States when I was 12. We saw the Grand Canyon and many other sights on our way to visit my grandparents, who had moved to California when I was six months old.

Other vacations were spent at Myrtle Beach. Everybody in this area goes to Myrtle Beach. We went so frequently those times all run together in my head, like the ocean waves. Memory in, memory out. Who was there? Who wasn't? 

Dad has always worked hard and played hard. He is an extreme sort of fellow.

So happy birthday to Dad. Look forward to having an 80-year-old father next year.

Mom, Dad, me, & my brother, 1983, at my wedding.

Home

This is Home by Sheryl Crow.

Pandemic Journal - Day 101

Wow, I can't believe it's been over 100 days since this Covid virus moved in and kicked the USA's ass. And it's still kicking ass. The numbers locally have increased and continue to increase. We now have 21 active cases. Last week we had 16 active cases.

Nationwide, the cases are climbing to rather scary numbers. We opened up too soon. Even Republicans are saying to wear a mask now. Well, Pence is, anyway. I wonder if he'll get kicked off the election ticket for going against the supreme one?

I have decided to remain solitary and defend my home and person from any and all infections as much as I possibly can.

That sounds better than, "I'm a wimp and afraid of a virus." Maybe.

All in all, things are going ok. I know of some folks with the virus right now. They are not seriously ill. I know a few people who have been asymptomatic but tested positive. (I don't know why they were tested in the first place.)

I had a long, thoughtful chat with a friend on Friday. She gave me lots to think about. So I have been busy thinking.

Today I have my house cleaner here. She is wearing a mask. Unless I am in my office, I too wear a mask. Yes, in my own home. I wear a mask to protect her in case I'm a carrier, and she to protect me in case she is. It's just how we do things now.

I think the last week of June is not a good week for me, all in all. My mother's birthday is June 20 and my grandmother died on June 28. It is hard not to think of them on those anniversary dates. They're almost on top of each other but there's time in there for the angst to settle down deep if you're not paying attention.

And let's face it, with everything that is going on, it is hard to keep on top of little things, much less the big important ones.

This is a picture of my grandmother holding my mother. I'm going to guess this was taken September 1944, since my mother was born in June 1944. There are still leaves on the trees in the photo, so it couldn't have been beyond that.

My grandmother was born June 11, 1923 (June really is a hard month, isn't it?), so she was 21 years old when my mother was born. I don't know much about my grandmother's early life. She worked at the Valley Dale plant in Salem until she had my mother. My great aunt also worked there. Grandma then became a mom to six kids, and she kept almost all of her grandchildren at some time or the other.

My mother was 18 when I was born, and I was the oldest grandchild. When I was sick, I went to stay with Grandma if I had to stay home from school. My mother worked only a block away from my grandmother's house. I was sick a lot, so I spent a good deal of time on Grandma's lap. 

During the summers we stayed with her, too. I remember those best. She's walk us up to downtown Salem occasionally. We'd go to Brooks Byrd for a snow cone and to the Newberry's to buy a little toy. We usually purchased balsa wood airplanes, those paddles with balls on them, or jacks or something. The walk did not seem that long but it was about 1.5 miles one way. My grandmother would have been in her late 40s and early 50s then, I suppose. She had her last child in 1964, on my birthday. Yes, I have an uncle who is a year younger than I.

Grandma was always kind to me, but she and my mother did not get along well. My mother and I also had our problems, and in hindsight I suspect my relationship with her mirrors to some degree her relationship with her mother. I mean, that's what she knew, right? So of course it would. But by the time Grandma became a grandmother, she knew more and maybe was a different person. People change, after all.

I hope I have, and for the better.

Anyway, those are memories and not anything about the pandemic, but I wanted to remember my grandmother. 

We have lovely blue sky at the moment, and it appears the Sahara Dust Storm of 2020 has blown on out of here. The air was very hazy and brown over the weekend but it seems much clearer today. 

What a strange year we are having.

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing

1. If you could be a Muppet, which would you be?

A. I don't really know my Muppets that well, but I think I'd be the Cookie Monster because I always want cookies! And chocolate. Is there a chocolate-loving Muppet?

2. Why is a chicken crossing the road in the first place?

A. Because the grass was greener over there.

3. What's your favorite muscle?

A. My brain. Is that a muscle?

4. Cheerios or Rice Krispies?

A. Either one.

5. Is summer ever going to get here?

A. It is officially here.

6. Have you ever had a utility turned off by mistake or some other reason besides weather or nonpayment?

A. Ours went off for 48 hours when the substation blew up down the street. Does that count as "some other reason," I wonder?

7. What was your "last day" of something?

A. My last day of working for someone else (wherein I received a W-2) was around 2002.

8. If you had to be trapped in a TV show for a month, which one would you choose?

A. Star Trek: Voyager.

9. Did you have any type of class trip, band trip, etc in high school? Where did you go, what did you do?

A. We had a band trip to Bristol, VA one year for a band competition. While we were waiting to compete, a tornado came through. It was the first time I'd ever been in such severe weather. The tornado passed within a mile or less of where the competition was being held.

10. Do your feet smell?

A. I assume so. I don't go around smelling them on a regular basis.

11. Do you know how to french braid?

A. No.

12. Two guys are walking down the street. One drops his hat and reaches down to pick it up, the other kicks him in the ass. Do you laugh?

A. I think I need more information to answer that question. Is it obvious they are friends? Is the person who fell hurt? 

13. You wake up one morning and dogs are meowing and cats are meowing - what are fish, elephants and crocodiles doing?

A. Swimming, trumpeting, and chomping.

14. You are going to your high school reunion. What award are you going to win?

A. I have no idea.

15. You find yourself stranded on a deserted island. Soon you find a laptop with a lifelong battery & internet connection, then you find a cave with an endless supply of food and a spring of fresh water. A cruise ship comes along to save you - do you get on it?

A. Yes. And I take the laptop with me.

16. How many shortcuts do you have on your desktop?

A. 42, which also happens to be the answer to the meaning of life.

17. I offer you a pie . . . the most delicious pie you have ever seen. You either have to eat the entire thing in one sitting or allow me to slam it into your face, which do you choose?

A. I guess I'd eat the entire thing in one sitting, as I don't want to be slammed into the face with anything.

18. Are you a pen stealer?

A. Not intentionally.

19. A dude from China comes up and offers you German chocolate cake, French fries and a Boston cream pie . . . what color is your car?

A. White.

20. Sometimes you just have to tap your foot to your favorite song - which tv series season finale are you watching?

A. The last one I watched was Supergirl, so I'll go with that one.

________________
I encourage you to visit other participants in Sunday Stealing posts and leave a comment. Cheers to all us thieves who love memes, however we come by them. 

Saturday 9: Beautiful People

Saturday 9: Beautiful People (2019)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) This song is about the fantasy of being one of the "beautiful people," but how hollow the reality can be. Do you often find yourself envying others for what they have?

A. No. What is the point? I have enough.

2) Ed Sheeran sings that he and his girl don't fit in well because they're "just ourselves." Who among your close friends do you find it easiest to be "just yourself?"

A. Usually the ones who are creative and share similar thoughts politically.

3) The lyrics refer to Hummers and Lamborghinis. What's your dream ride?

A. A Toyota Avalon. Yeah, I dream big.

4) Ed believes in giving back. One cause he supports is No Cold Homes, which helps ensure that everyone in the English city of Bristol has the fuel needed to keep their homes safe and comfortable. Here in the United States, he's raised funds for Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center. Is there a cause that's near and dear to your heart?

A. I give to the local Rescue Mission (takes care of the homeless people), my alma mater, the American Heart Association, the American Cancer Society, and a few others.

5) Ed's arms are covered in tattoos, so clearly he doesn't suffer from trypanophobia, or a fear of needles. How about you? Do you look away when the doctor gives you a shot?

A. Yes. And I close my eyes.

6) One of Ed's tattoos is a bottle of Heinz Ketchup. What condiments would we find if we peeked into your refrigerator this morning?

A. Mayo, Miracle Whip, Heinz Ketchup, Heinz 57, mustard, salad dressing.

7) Ed is a natural redhead, a trait he shares with only 2% of the population. Does red hair run in your family?

A. No. We're mostly brown-headed and/or gray.

8)  In 2019, when this song was released, the FDA recommended the approval of a drug for treating peanut allergies in children. Do you suffer from any food allergies, or sensitivities?

A. Yes. I am allergic to fish, black pepper, and several other foods. Some of them I can eat if I don't over do it.

9) Random question: What of these do you think is the biggest contributing factor to success -- hard work, luck, or talent?

A. Hard work is the biggest factor, but a little luck never hurts.

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I encourage you to visit other participants in Saturday 9 posts and leave a comment. Because there are no rules, it is your choice. Saturday 9 players hate rules. We love memes, however.

Thursday Thirteen

The other day I accidentally purchased an "essential birth chart reading" from Tarot.com. I have some "karma coins" in an account there that someone gave me as present about ten years ago. I seldom visit the site. Sometimes I do a tarot reading on Solstice if I think about it, but mostly I get emails from them to an account I don't check often. The "karma coins" have hung around for ages, so this has been a gift that's been languishing for quite some time.

I was clearing out the barely used email account and ran across a Tarot.com notice for "your essential birth chart reading." A while back someone had commented to me that they were Gemini with Pluto rising or something like that. I wasn't sure what that meant, so that was in the back of my mind when I clicked on the ad. Then it said, "reveal the meaning" and I clicked on that, but I didn't realize I was using the "karma coins" until I saw the balance drop.

Oops.

Anyway, I have no idea what a lot of this means because I don't study astrology. I read my horoscope, say, yeah, that might be good advice, and move on. I know I'm Gemini (and that fits in general). This thing I purchased is 30 pages long.

From the chart, apparently I am Gemini with Aries Ascendant. The Moon is in Sagittarius. I don't have any idea what that means.

But let's see what in here might apply.

1. Fire is strong and Water is weak. This has to do with elements. "You prize personal independence and autonomy so much that you're apt to downplay your needs for closeness and caring. . . you hide your feelings of sadness and inadequacy.  . . . Striving to be (and often believing yourself to be) emotional self-sufficient limits your ability to be truly intimate with others and to get the nurturing you need."  Ok. I'll go along with that.

2. Fire is strong and Sun is in an Air Sign. "Your need to participate socially, to communicate and relate to other people is quite strong."  I'll go along with that one, too.

Apparently Fire is strong in my birth chart. Funny, I always thought I was more earthy and other people have said so, too.

3. Ascendant in Aries and Sun in Gemini. "Even though you come across as headstrong and independent, you are not a loner. . . . you are really a very social and gregarious creature at heart. Communication is very important to you . . . be careful not to let your fast-paced life cause to become high-strung and nervous."  Yikes. Where's my Valium?

4. Sun in Gemini. "Your mind is bright, alert, curious, flexible, playful and always eager for new experiences - and your attention span is often quite brief. You grasp ideas quickly and once your initial curiosity has been satisfied, you want to go on to something else. You crave frequent change, variety, meeting new situations and people. " Yes, I will agree with that one. That is why being a reporter was a good fit for me. It involved constant change.

5. "You have a multitude of interests and are loathe to limit yourself by concentrating on just one. You are easily distracted by all of the other fascinating possibilities." Yes, that's me, too.

6. "You live in your head a great deal - reading, observing, thinking, spinning ideas around - and you need mental stimulation every bit as much as you need food and drink. . . . You have a creative mind and often live by your wits."  Yes, that's me, too.

7. "You enjoy using and playing with words and have a real flair for getting your ideas across in a clever, interesting, articulate manner. Writing or speaking are areas you have talent for."  Well, not so much the speaking part. But the writing, definitely.

8. Sun in the 2nd House. "Ownership gives you a sense of security, and you have a strong attachment to your possessions. You also have a natural instinct or understanding of economics, finance, trade, and appraising the value of merchandise."  Now see, I don't think this is me at all. I don't plan to be buried with my guitar or anything.

9. Sun Sextile Jupiter (what does that mean?). "Your life is apt to be blessed with more than your share of helpful friends, fortuitous connections and doors opening to you at just the right time."  I am not sure about that one, either. Maybe I look at doors wrong.

10. Sun aspects both Jupiter and Saturn.  "You also have a heavier side which keeps your optimism from becoming ungrounded or overblown."  I am a terrible pessimist. Is that what this sentence means?

11. Sun Trine Saturn. "Realistic and practical, you set goals for yourself that are modest enough for you to actually achieve. You are able to tackle long, difficult projects and see them through, for you possess self-discipline."  Yeah, right. That's why I don't have a novel written, because I'm so full of self-discipline. And why I'm overweight, because I'm so self-disciplined. The first sentence I agree with, but not the last.

12. Sun Square Pluto.  "You are intensely willful, zealous, and fanatical, though often you hide the intensity of your feelings and your personal motives and desires. You have an infatuation with power (!) and an almost compulsive desire for personal recognition, the desire to be "somebody." You tend to worship heroes who have powerful person magnetism and charisma, and often seek to emulate them. (Does Wonder Woman fall in that category?) You also have both a fear of, an an intense fascination with, death and the hidden, secret dark side of life."  Wow. Sun square Pluto is big deal stuff. I don't think I'm infatuated with power, though. The other things I will have to think about.

13. Sun Quincunx Neptune (what does that mean?). "You tend to be very impressionable and psychically open, and as a youngster, you could have been dominated by more forceful personalities. Afraid of confrontation, you may have become passive, identified yourself as a helpless victim, or tried to gain your desires in underhanded ways."  Geez. That sounds terrible.  "Your hypersensitivity to your environment is apt to be a challenge for you in other ways as well. Pollutants, ugliness, or dissonance in any form is apt to affect you more than most people." That sentence I agree with. I'm having a difficult time right now from many areas outside of my control - the political arena, the pollutant increase (thank you #45), and I'm having more migraines from the weather pattern changes.

So. This seems to require study. Of course that does not encompass the whole 30 pages of this document. That was just one part. Looks like I will have to do some studying up to understand it better.

What about you? What do you know about your birth chart or sun sign or whatever?

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Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; there is a list here if you want to read other Thursday Thirteens and/or play along. I've been playing for a while and this is my 662nd time to do a list of 13 on a Thursday. Or so sayth the Blogger counter, anyway.

Squirrel of a Different Color

We've had a new squirrel turn up in the yard. He (or she) has a black face instead of the gray or brown we normally see. His tail is darker, too. Definitely different markings than the squirrels we usually see.

Pandemic Journal - Day 95

The coronavirus numbers continue to rise in my community. We're now up to 59 cases total, with 16 of them active. We've had four deaths.

The new cases appear to be coming from a bunch of kids who went to the beach and brought the coronavirus back with them (or so sayth Facebook). Several restaurants locally have had to shut down. Apparently, if a server comes down with the virus, the Health Department is making them close and then deep clean and test everyone.

It doesn't bode well for the economy. I know a lot of folks are very anxious about this virus. People are learning they don't need to eat out or go out of their home to entertain themselves. Ultimately this will prove to be a good thing, but in a capitalistic economy, which is what the U.S. has, it means the profits for those at the top are falling.

Economically, we need to make changes.

We can't have that, so it's better to simply let people die. At least, that is how it looks from here. But the public isn't buying it, or at least, not anyone who is a thinking person, and folks are staying home. I know people need to live their life, yada yada, but life can be lived in many different ways. It isn't always about the money.

In any event, 0.1788 percent of our population now has or has had coronavirus. That is, relatively speaking, not a huge number and therefore not enough to ensure "herd immunity," but it is large enough that I don't want to spend time out of my house. Since I know two of the people who have died from it, it makes it easier to convince me that this is dangerous.

Our last week was mostly uneventful. We had another rain and flooding event - we've had over 30 inches of rain so far this year, which is way more than we normally receive. The water has infiltrated both our electrical lines at the substation and somewhere it is seeping into the phone lines, too, so the power and the phones and Internet both go out now when it rains. One day last week, the power went off and on eight times.

Yesterday I scheduled eye doctor appoints and an overdue mammogram. I am not sure I want to keep these appointments but the mammogram is a call back for a spot on my last one. Otherwise, I would not go. The eye doctor is necessary for my husband, who has some kind of issue with one of his eyes that the doctor wanted to keep a check on. I also need an upgrade in lenses, I suspect. I know I'm having a hard time seeing at times, especially when I'm playing the guitar and Bs and Es look alike. The appointments are weeks away, so plenty of time to cancel if things start looking worse.

The demonstrators are still out. I see them masked and unmasked in video footage. How this will play out with the pandemic, I do not know.

On top of this, we have something called a Sahara Dust Storm, which apparently only happens like every 50 years or so, making its way into the United States. This is bringing dust with silica in it, and people with breathing issues should stay inside. I will be staying inside, and I'm worried about my husband, who won't stay inside, "because it's a beautiful day and I need to be out working." It's also hot and humid and they're calling for storms.

I'm finding Facebook and Twitter both to be very bizarre places these days. If my dad's Twitter account read like the account of #45, I'd ask a judge for a TDO and take charge of his finances. #45 posts some really crazy stuff.

All of this makes everybody nervous. I can feel it in the air when I'm out. It's like, one wrong move, and BAM! a sinkhole is going to open up and swallow you. That is what it feels like.

On a more bucolic note, our peas are blooming, so I should have fresh peas soon. I think I saw a bloom on a cucumber plant, too. Fresh veggies will be welcome. We planted a small garden and I can't imagine there will be enough coming out of it to can. I hope that doesn't prove to be a mistake.

Another Song

This is a video that I made using new software, and somehow I lost the ending of the song. Oh well.

Someone let me know if you can't see it.

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing

1. If you could spend a day in someone else’s shoes who would it be and why?

A. I would like to spend a day in my husband's shoes, so I could get to know him even better than I do and understand his impulses and his thought processes in a way I cannot simply by observing.

2. Which celebrity gets on your nerves the most, and why?

A. I'm not a fan of Adam Sandler, because he's so misogynistic.

3. If you were going to bury a time capsule, what would you put in it?

A. A copy of The New York Times, Time magazine, Reader's Digest magazine, a huge flash drive with everything I could think of downloaded on it, including photos from all over the world and space, and a personal note.

4. What is your saddest memory?

A. My grandmother's funeral, mostly because my brother did not come.

5. Would you rather be in your pajamas or a suit all day?

A. I am forever in blue jeans, babe.

6. What’s the strangest place you’ve ever gone potty?

A. Out in the woods.

7. How old were you went you had your first kiss?

A. I have no idea. Second grade maybe? How old is that? Seven?

8. Do you have any strange or unique phobias?

A. Can't say that I do, really, unless being afraid of the rise of stupid could be called a phobia.

9. If you could bring back one toy from your childhood, what would it be?

A. Johnny West dolls.

10. If you could be any Disney villain, which would you be?

A. Cruella DeVille (she's the only one I can think of).

11. If your life was a novel, what would the title be?

A. Nevertheless, She Persisted.

12. What do you need more of in your life?

A. Hugs, money, and self-discipline.

13. What are your top 3 quotes?

A. Not all those who wander are lost.  - J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring.
     Be Strong, Speak True, Choose Only Love - Melissa Etheridge
     Let the world burn through you. Throw the prism light, white hot, on paper. - Ray Bradbury

14. What do you want people to remember about you?

A. That I did my best and was a good person. 

15. What’s the biggest mistake you’ve made?

A. I have often thought that leaving a job I had a law office in 1985 was a particularly bad mistake, because we would have been more financially secure if I had stayed there. But had I stayed, I'd probably never have finished college or pursued writing, so I am not sure it was a mistake, in the end.


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I encourage you to visit other participants in Sunday Stealing posts and leave a comment. Cheers to all us thieves who love memes, however we come by them. (#340)

Saturday 9: Daddy Don't You Walk So Fast

Saturday 9: Daddy Don't You Walk So Fast (1972)

. . . Because it's Father's Day weekend.

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) This song is about a little girl who runs after her daddy. When is the last time you ran? Were you trying to get somewhere in a hurry, or playing a sport?

A. Bwahhahaha. Me, run? I can't remember the last time I ran. Trotted a little bit, maybe.

2) This song was a top ten hit for Wayne Newton. Mr. Newton is better known for his TV work, having made more than 150 appearances since 1963. Have you ever been on TV? Or in a YouTube video?

A. I have been on TV. I was interviewed in a news story a year or two ago, and when I was a teenager I appeared on a Saturday morning show where we used puppets and spoke Spanish. I have been in youtube videos that I have made. You can see me playing my guitar and singing if you go back a few days.

3) The road leading to Las Vegas' McCarran International Airport is named Wayne Newton Blvd. in his honor. When is the last time you were at an airport? Were you flying somewhere, picking someone up, or dropping them off?

A. I haven't been to an airport in several years, and I would have been picking up my husband from a business trip.

4) Wayne says Elvis Presley haunts Las Vegas, and believes that The King of Rock and Roll has given him performing and parenting tips from beyond the grave. When did you last see Elvis? On TV, on a t-shirt, poster or magazine cover, or as a ghostly apparition?

A. Wow. That one took me by surprise. I can't remember when I last saw Elvis. Maybe on one of those "let's sell old music" shows that Time Life puts on, perhaps. A few years ago, I bought my dad a bunch of Elvis stamps. He likes Elvis.

5) When Sam walks with her own dad, the problem isn't that he walks fast. It's that he's always stopping to pick up litter he finds on the grass. Litterbugs are his pet peeve. What's your pet peeve?

A. I can only have one? There are so many. I dislike it when people smoke at the doorways of places. The whole point of not having smoking inside is so people don't have to smell secondhand smoke. This is negated if you can't walk into the place without being enveloped in a cloud of nicotine.

6) Sam's own father often traveled for business, and always gave her the complimentary soaps, shampoos or body lotion he got from the hotel. When she went away to college, she used her collection of little bottles and was grateful for all the money they saved her. What's something you've done recently to economize?

A. I've started freezing food, especially meat. I used to purchase things fresh every week but now that I am not shopping as frequently, I am buying in bulk and freezing.

7) It was her father who taught Sam to drive. Are you a better student or teacher?

A. I think I am a better student than a teacher.

8) Sam's father also always asks if her car in "tip top" condition. Most recently he reminded her to test her headlights, tail lights and turn signals while the car is parked to make sure they're all working. Do you have a car maintenance tip to share?

A. Get a husband and let him take care of it. Otherwise, know what how to find the owner's manual for your vehicle so you can figure out what the strange little lights on the dashboard are.

9) Sam's father satisfies his afternoon sugar craving with an almost endless stream of Butter Rum Lifesavers. Do you usually enjoy a between meal snack?

A. I do. Sometimes it is healthy, most times, not so much.

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I encourage you to visit other participants in Saturday 9 posts and leave a comment. Because there are no rules, it is your choice. Saturday 9 players hate rules. We love memes, however.

Thursday Thirteen

The other day while I was listening to Virginia Governor Ralph Northam talk about making June 19 a paid holiday and the removal of Confederate statues, he noted that what we revere and have around us shows what we value.

This made me look around my office and my home. What do I value? And how many of us bother to consider what we value, and why? I think many people do not question what they value - or even know they value something.

Absence of something could also indicate values. For example, I do not, to my knowledge, have a Confederate flag in my home. However, my great-great grandfather was a Confederate soldier. I honor his history simply by knowing it. I don't need a symbol of a lost cause to indicate anything else.

If you're interested in things like morals and values, and would like to do a little self-study, check out yourmorals.org, which has a lot of interesting tests to take that help you evaluate yourself and how you feel about things. 

But just looking around, let's see what I might value:

1. Books. I am surrounded by them here in my office.

2. Education. Books add to this, of course, but there are also three college diplomas hanging on my wall.

3. Music. I have two guitars, a harmonica, an ocarina, and loads of CDs in this one room.

4. History. I have many books of history, mostly local history, so I value the history of my area and my ancestors.

5. Strong women figures. I have a Supergirl poster and a Wonder Woman figure, along with a Charlie's Angel's action figure, in my office. I think there are few more on a lower shelf that I can't see at the moment because there's a guitar in the way.

6. Time. There are three clocks on the wall of my office.

7. Family. I have pictures of my nephews and niece in here.

8. Friends. While I do not have photos of my friends in here, I have many items they have given me that remind me of them.

9. The world. I think that may be symbolized by an old out-of-date globe that I insist on keeping in here.

10. Art. I have a fake Van Gogh painting in my office, along with some of my own photos. Plus I have several cameras.

11. Connectedness. This might be symbolized by the phones and the computer.

12. Money. I keep all the books so all the stuff to do with the farm and my husband's construction business are in my office.

13. Imagination. I have a photo of Gandolf the White in here, along with the aforementioned superheroines, and many of my books are fantasy books. I think it is safe to say I value imagination.

What about you? If you look around your room, what does it say you value?

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Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; there is a list here if you want to read other Thursday Thirteens and/or play along. I've been playing for a while and this is my 660th time to do a list of 13 on a Thursday. Or so sayth the Blogger counter, anyway.

Localized Flooding

We are having heavy rains and local flooding. These photos are just from the length of the farm.

Angel From Montgomery

My version of Angel From Montgomery, by John Prine