New Cows

Increased the herd a little this weekend.

They were hungry after an hour's haul in the cattle truck.

They already know who's the man.

More hay, please!

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing

These are hard questions. I decided to answer most of them with quotes from Lord of the Rings.

1. Do you own your things or do your things own you?

A. I own my things. When things own you, decay comes.  "The old wisdom born out of the West was forsaken. Kings made tombs more splendid than the houses of the living and counted the names of their descent dearer than the names of their sons." - Gandalf

2. Would you rather lose all of your old memories or never be able to make new ones?

A. I'd rather not answer this question. But here's a Lord of the Rings quote to ponder: “But do not despise the lore that has come down from distant years; for oft it may chance that old wives keep in memory word of things that once were needful for the wise to know.” – Celeborn

or this quote:

“Memory is not what the heart desires. That is only a mirror.” — Gimli

3. When you are 80 years old, what will matter to you the most?

A. Other people. “For behold! the storm comes, and now all friends should gather together, lest each singly be destroyed.” – Gandalf

4. What do you have that you cannot live without?

A. My heart. “The world is indeed full of peril, and in it there are many dark places; but still there is much that is fair, and though in all lands love is now mingled with grief, it grows perhaps the greater.”  – Haldir

5. When you close your eyes what do you see?

A. Everything. “You may learn something, and whether what you see be fair or evil, that may be profitable, and yet it may not. Seeing is both good and perilous.” - Galadriel, Lord of the Rings

6. What sustains you on a daily basis?

A. Hope. “But in the end it’s only a passing thing, this shadow; even darkness must pass.” — Samwise Gamgee

7. What are your top five personal values?

A. Kindness, creativity, honesty, loyalty, open-mindedness. “Yet such is oft the course of deeds that move the wheels of the world: small hands do them because they must, while the eyes of the great are elsewhere.” – Elrond

8. What personal prisons have you built out of fears?

A. “Courage is found in unlikely places.” – Gildor

9. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do?

A. “Do not trouble your hearts overmuch with thought of the road tonight. Maybe the paths that you each shall tread are already laid before your feet, though you do not see them.” — Galadriel

10. If you haven’t achieved it yet what do you have to lose?

A. “Don’t adventures ever have an end? I suppose not. Someone else always has to carry on the story.” – Bilbo Baggins

11. What three words would you use to describe the last three months of your life?

A. Boring, worry, anxiety.

12. Is it ever right to do the wrong thing?  Is it ever wrong to do the right thing?

A. “It’s a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you might be swept off to.” — Frodo (quoting Bilbo Baggins) 

13. How would you describe ‘freedom’ in your own words?

A. The ability to do what I need or want, without infringing upon the needs, desires, hopes, dreams, air, etc., of other people. 

14. What is the most important thing you could do right now in your personal life?

A. “When in doubt, follow your nose.” — Gandalf

15. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?

A. Reading and playing video games.

__________

I encourage you to visit other participants in Sunday Stealing posts and leave a comment. Cheers to all us thieves who love memes, however we come by them.

Saturday 9: Jingle Jangle Jingle

Saturday 9: (I Got Spurs That) Jingle Jangle Jingle (1942)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) This song is about a cowboy who is very happy about his single status. Is your closest friend married or single? Do you think he or she would be happier if their marital status changed?

A. My closest friend is married, and no, I don't think she would be happier if her marital status changed.

 

2) Our cowboy is riding merrily along on horseback. Do you often ride?

A. I do not ride horses.

 

3) John Ritter/Jack Tripper used to sing the refrain of this song as he got ready for dates on Three's Company. Were you a fan of the show? 

A. I watched it occasionally.

4) This was a top hit for bandleader Kay Kyser, who was popular during the Big Band Era. In those days, orchestras played behind vocalists, bandleaders were stars, and dances like the jitterbug and lindy hop were popular. Can you do either of those dances?

A. I am not a good dancer. I cannot do either of those dances.

5) Kyser's orchestra featured many vocalists over the years. Harry Babbitt and Julie Conway sing this week's song. Another vocalist who toured with Kyser was Mike Douglas, who went on to host a syndicated talk show from 1961 to 1981. Do you recall The Mike Douglas Show?

A. I remember it, but I don't recall much about it.

 

6) Kyser suffered from arthritis and wanted to retire from touring in the mid-1940s but he couldn't because he was contractually committed to concert appearances. Is there anything on today's to-do list you don't really feel like doing?

A. Running the vacuum.

7) Kay was a popular radio personality who combined music with comedy and quizzes. Today's most popular quiz shows are Jeopardy! and Wheel of Fortune. On which show would you be a more successful contestant: Jeopardy! or Wheel of Fortune?

A. I would hope Jeopardy! I've never been a big fan of Wheel of Fortune.

 

8) In 1942, the year this record was popular, Aretha Franklin was born. What's your favorite Aretha Franklin song?

A. RESPECT

9) Random question: Do you sing in the shower?

A. Of course I do.

_______________

I encourage you to visit other participants in Saturday 9 posts and leave a comment. Because there are no rules, it is your choice. Saturday 9 players hate rules. We love memes, however.  

Thursday Thirteen #750

Things that make life better:

1. Hope

2. Dreams

3. Laughter

4. Magic

5. Friends/Family

6. Love 

7. Creativity

8. Dinner

9. Wishes

10. Art

11. Compassion

12. Hugs

13. Peace

____________________

Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; there is a list here if you want to read other Thursday Thirteens and/or play along. I've been playing for a while, and this is my 750th time to do a list of 13 on a Thursday. Or so sayth the Blogger counter, anyway.

Exterior Spruce-Up

When we built this house, we put the rear where the front should be. Back then, when you built a house on top of a hill, you put the front of the house toward the view.

However, we drive up to the back of the house, and everyone comes in the back doors. I don't think anyone has ever come through my front door. There are no steps leading to it, and no real reason to walk around there.

In fact, the only time I know of anyone using the front door, or the small porch there, was one year when the UPS man left a package there during bad weather when no one was home, and I didn't find it for three months.

The back part of the house is where the heat pump is, and we've always kept a flower bed around the heat pump. I started out with perennials, but soon switched to roses only. My husband's grandmother was a prize rose grower, and she gave me starter plants.

The roses never did as well as I wanted. The ground here is Virginia clay, and that doesn't grow things well. Mulch and flower food helped, but since the roses were never strong to start with, they easily caught disease and were home to aphids and Japanese beetles (although come to think of it, I haven't seen Japanese beetles in some time. Maybe the stink bugs ate them.)

Of course, I am older now, and I've some health problems, so weeding and keeping up with this little plot had become something I wasn't doing as well as I wanted.

Monday, the last of Grandma's roses went to the compost pile. My husband had decided he wanted something that looked better there.

It does look better, and once I buy some flower baskets there will be flowers. Also, there are mums in the old whisky barrel.

Of course, all of this could have been avoided if we'd reversed the house to begin with, so that the heat pump was not by the driveway, main entrance, and patio.

Live and learn.

Still a Little Country

This is one of the first songs I learned to play on the guitar, I think. I've known for as long as I can remember. I am playing a Dean Vendetta electric guitar. The background rhythm was recorded on a Boss RC-3 Looper station using a Yamaha acoustic guitar. The looper station supplies the drums.

The song is Help Me Make It Through the Night, by Kris Kristofferson.

 

Too Many Deer

 

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?

A. "My hair looks awful."

2. What shirt are you wearing?

A. I have on a pink t-shirt that says Roanoke Fire-EMS on it. It's a breast cancer awareness shirt. The firefighters wore them some years back and my husband bought several of them. I wear them around the house all the time since he retired.

3. Do you label yourself?

A. I imagine everyone does. But yes, I do. I am a writer, a wife, a musician, a blogger, a terrible cook, and a fairly good friend.

4. What does your watch look like?

A. It's an Indiglo Timex watch with a stretch band. It's silver and gold and the watch face is an actual circle, not digital. The date on the thing is never correct. I would like to have one that doesn't have the calendar on it but I haven't been able to find one since the pandemic started.

5. What were you doing at midnight last night?

A. Sleeping.

6. Last furry thing you touched?

A. My husband's chest. Although I suppose that is hairy as opposed to furry.

7. Favorite age you have been so far?

A. My 40s were not bad. I think my best years of my life to date have been from 2004 to 2013. That's most of my 40s.

8. What is your current desktop picture?

A. I don't have one. I have a solid blue desktop. I have so many little shortcuts on there that a photo makes it cluttered.

9. If you had to choose between $1,000,000 or to be able to fly what would it be?

A. The money. I don't need to fly anywhere, that's what airplanes are for.

10. The last song you listened to?

A. Mockingbird, by Carly Simon and James Taylor

11. What time of day were you born?

A. I was born at 3:05 a.m., with the sun in Gemini, the moon in Sagittarius, and Aries rising

12. Where did you live in 1987?

A. We were building the house I live in now in 1987, and moved in late in the year. The house we were renting is about a mile away, give or take.

13. What do you do when vending machines steal your money?

A. Nothing, usually. If I were someplace where I could tell someone and get a refund, then I would do that, but I seldom use vending machines and would be lucky to be in the position for some kind of return.

14. Would you move for the person you loved?

A. Yes.

15. Name three things that you have on you at all times?

A. My watch, my glasses, my clothes.

16. What’s your favorite town/city?

A. The Shire in Middle Earth.

17. What was the last thing you paid for with cash?

A. Lunch at Wendy's.

18. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?

A. Earlier in March.

19. The last time you dressed fancy, what did you wear?

A. I wore black pants and a nice top, sparkling earrings and necklace.

20. Does anything hurt on your body right now?

A. Yes.

__________

I encourage you to visit other participants in Sunday Stealing posts and leave a comment. Cheers to all us thieves who love memes, however we come by them.

Saturday 9: Fooled Around and Fell in Love

Saturday 9: Fooled Around and Fell in Love (1976)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

Chosen because Friday was April Fool's Day.

1) As an April Fool's prank, Taco Bell once announced they had purchased The Liberty Bell and renamed it The Taco Liberty Bell. Describe your perfect taco.

A. I have never had a taco. At least I don't think I have. Looks like something I should add to my diet, though.

2) In 1989, a British policeman investigated a flying saucer that had landed in a field in Surrey. When a figure in a space suit emerged, the policeman ran away. Turns out it was a hot air balloon, designed by billionaire Richard Branson to look like a UFO as an April Fool's prank/publicity stunt. Have you ever seen a UFO?

A. Yes. When I was young, I saw strange lights in the sky that I considered a UFO. It may have been a plane or Air Force training - there was a rumor when I was young that the Air Force trained out of the next county over. I was about 11 when I saw it.

 

3) This week's song is about a man who collected girls' phone numbers in a little book. When he and she broke up, he'd tear out her page. Do you keep a pen-and-paper address book? Or do you use your cellphone to hold street addresses as well as phone numbers?

A. I have addresses on paper, in a spreadsheet, in a Christmas list on MS Word, and in my phone.

4) This was the biggest hit blues guitarist Elvin Bishop ever had, but that's not him singing it. While he's proud of his composing and guitar prowess, Bishop felt his voice was too gravelly for this song. Do you like your singing voice?

A. It's ok. It could have been better with training, but I can carry a tune. Anyone who's listened to some of my videos on this blog has heard me sing.

5) A brainy kid, Elvin Bishop won a full scholarship to the University of Chicago, where he majored in physics. Obviously, though, as a blues guitarist he doesn't lean on that physics degree very often. What's something you learned in school that you seldom used again?

A. Trigonometry and Latin. I don't think I've ever had much call to use either one of those.

6) Elvin was born in Iowa, grew up in Oklahoma, went to college in Illinois, recorded in Georgia and now lives in California. How many different states have you called home?

A. Just one.

 

7) In 1976, the Summer Olympics were held in Montreal. When did you most recently visit our neighbor to the north?

A. I have never been to Canada.

8) Nadia Comaneci was the star of the 76 Olympics, scoring a perfect 10 in gymnastics. What have you enjoyed lately that you would rate "a perfect 10?"

A. The Priory of the Orange Tree, by Samantha Shannon, was an excellent (though quite long), read. I'd give it a 10 for a fantasy book.

9) Random question: Do you ever talk to your TV?

A. Yes. Just the other night I was watching My Brilliant Friend, and I kept urging Elena, "Don't let them in your house!" Also, during Battle Bots, I was rooting for Witch Doctor and urged the bot to back off when its opponent burned out instead of continuing the fight. So yes, I talk to the things on my TV, but not the TV itself, sitting there with nothing on it.

_______________

I encourage you to visit other participants in Saturday 9 posts and leave a comment. Because there are no rules, it is your choice. Saturday 9 players hate rules. We love memes, however.  

A Lazy Rainbow

About 10:30 a.m. this morning, as I was doing laundry, I glanced outside and realized that the mountain had turned rainbow colors.

The rainbow was simply resting on the mountain. It wasn't up in the sky.

I had never seen this before.

The colors weren't brilliant, but they did come out in the camera. Can you see the rainbow colors?

A Cold Front Sunrise

We had severe storms and rain yesterday, with a cold front moving through today with high winds.

It brought a great sunrise, though, as that ol' big yellow ball peeked through the clouds and turned the mountain tops pink. What could I do but grab my camera and go stand out in the wind and cold in my robe and shoot a few photos?

Pink mountain tops. The camera didn't quite do the site justice.

It was an exquisite site, really, to watch the light change.

The light turned quite red as the sunlight moved from the mountains towards me. The bird just in the middle of the shot was also glimmering in the light, but I could not catch a decent photo of it.

It hit the tree tops.

And then it made a broader swath.

Finally, it reached my yard, highlighting this tree.

And it hit the forsythia bushes to the side. This again doesn't do the sight justice.

Thursday Thirteen #750

I am a terrible procrastinator (sometimes). I thought I'd make a list of things that might help me overcome this.

1. Build confidence and know I can do it.

2. Don't punish myself for procrastinating.

3. Focus on what I need to do.

4. Tackle the most important item first.

5. Set a time limit, like 15 minutes, and do what needs to be done in that time frame. If I want to keep going after that, then do!

6. Break a task into smaller chunks. Clean only one room at a time, say.

7. Plan to take breaks while working on a task so you have something to look forward to.

8. Use a to-do or goal list, and break it into subcategories.

9. Talk myself into doing the work. Also try to center and stay calm and not panic over getting the work done.

10. Consider "done" to be as good as "perfect." Perfect doesn't exist and perfectionism is a big project killer (at least for me).

11. Reward myself for finishing whatever I have set out to do.

12. Change my environment or remove distractions (haven't figured this one out yet with a computer).

13. Be sure my workspace is the best for me.

What about you? How do you avoid procrastination?

____________________

Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; there is a list here if you want to read other Thursday Thirteens and/or play along. I've been playing for a while, and this is my 749th time to do a list of 13 on a Thursday. Or so sayth the Blogger counter, anyway.

The Slap

I use my blog for many things - inspiration, a place to try out different techniques, videos, music, poems, etc. Sometimes it's like a journal, and that's especially true when I feel like things around me need to be remembered. This post is sort of a mix.

In the news these days, we have the Russian invasion of Ukraine, or Putin's war, as some are calling it. Ukraine has been valiant and held back the tides of Russian soldiers but is slowly giving way. President Biden is working with NATO, we've sent support, imposed sanctions, and performed other political feats aimed at stopping the Russian aggression in its tracks.

The former guy has called upon Russia to aid him in attacking President Biden. He still can't get over the fact that he lost the election in 2020. I don't care what Hunter Biden did or didn't do. President Biden hasn't placed his son within the Whitehouse and given him places of authority and power. The former guy put all of his adult children (except Tiffany) into places of power within the federal government. There is a huge difference there. What his children did actually impacted the United States because they were part of the government after his election. Hunter Biden is a nobody, except a president's son.

Additionally, the January 6 committee continues to smash away at the Republican insistence that the insurrection of that date was just a "tour" gone wrong, or however they're framing it. A federal judge yesterday released some paperwork that had been withheld to the committee and in doing so stating there was obvious obstructionism on the part of the former guy and obvious efforts to interfere with the electoral count process and obstruct Congress in its official duties. The noose tightens, but will it close fast enough?

Also, the Senate is on its way to confirming the first black woman to the U.S. Supreme Court. Susan Collins (R) said today she would support the confirmation of Ketanji Brown Jackson, meaning "bipartisan" support, even if she is the only Republican to vote yes. This still leaves the court wildly mismatched, although the Supreme Court should not be the political football it has become.

Locally, Virginia, now a red state with Governor Trumpkin at the helm (though the state senate remains blue), is looking at a late budget, which always holds up the process for the localities when it comes to sorting out school funding and other spending priorities. 

In the entertainment world, the big talk was about how Will Smith walked up the stairs at the Oscars and slapped emcee Chris Rock after Rock made a joke about Smith's wife. And this is what I will end up talking about.

Let me say I'm not a big fan of either Rock or Smith, though I've seen movies with both of them in it. Independence Day is one of my favorite movies, and Smith stars in it. I also like his movie Hitch. Rock I know more as a foul-mouthed comedian than an actor.

At any rate, my thoughts on this are many and varied. I do not condone violence.

The slap was obviously premeditated - Smith had a good walk before he reached Rock. He could have stood there and verbally insulted him, which though bad, would not have been as violent. Smith later said he was defending his wife.

And that, I confess, I admire. And envy. How many times in my life have I wished someone would have stood up for me?

Multitudes. 

How many times was I picked on at school, and no one stopped it (except perhaps a teacher stepping in, but not because it was me, but because she needed to get the class rolling). But my classmates did not step in.

I have had many instanced where people hurt me or laughed at me, or attacked me, even, and no one else stepped in. I felt marginalized and like I was nothing.

I can recount many, many times in my life when I needed someone to stand up for me, and no one did. Many of those times involved men being assholes.

People have helped me, but few have protected me. I have fought my own fights, as best I know, and as best I knew how. Maybe I am forgetting something, have misremembered a few incidents, maybe someone stuck up for me and I never knew about it. I secretly hope so.

With that in mind, I applaud Smith's defense of his wife. She has someone on her side who has her back. 

I don't applaud the way he went about it, but he did stand up for her.

We should all stand up for one another when we see wrongs happening. Everyone needs somebody in his or her corner.

(Ukraine needs someone in her corner right now.)

(This has been edited from the original.)

Northern Flicker

Here's a bird I've not photographed before. We have a small flock of them in the backyard in early morning at the moment. 

This is (I think) a northern flicker. It's a type of woodpecker. Apparently, it also eats grubs and things from the ground.

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing

1. Are you living a meaningful life?

A. A meaningful life is individual, and what each person deems it to be. This is not something anyone can pass judgment on, probably not even the person living the life. While we like to think of ourselves as individuals, we touch the lives of others every day, and with books and words, sometimes for millenniums. Who is to say what impact an individual life may or may not have?

2. What’s the one thing you cannot live without?

A. Air.

3. When is it acceptable, if ever, to break the law?

A. When it is to save someone else. If the sign says, "Fine of $300 for walking on the grass" and someone is over on the grass yelling for help, I'm not going to not walk on the grass. I'm going to go help.

4. What do you want your final words to be?

A. I don't care what they are, really.

5. What do you think are the five most beautiful things in the world?

A. My husband's eyes, my brother's smile, music of any kind, green grass, and blue birds.

6. What makes you feel empowered?

A. Standing in the Wonder Woman stance. (Hands in fists, held at hips. <|> )

7. Which is more important–what you say, or how you say it?

A. They are both important. In our new world of texting, what you say has become more important than verbal inflexion, but they both matter.

8. Do you live to work, or work to live?

A. I work to do something that I enjoy.

9. How do you think the world will change in 10 years? 50? 100?

A. I'm not sure the US will be a democracy in 10 years. It will still be a superpower because we have so much armory, but democracy is about dead. In 100 years, I suspect we will have blown ourselves up and whatever is left of humanity will be picking up the pieces.

10. What is something you’re certain you’ll never experience?

A. What the world will be like in 100 years.

11. What one responsibility do you wish you didn’t have?

A. Cooking.

12. What is something you’re embarrassed that you’re so good at?

A. Video games.

13. What’s the one thing you most want to achieve before you die?

A. Secret dreams are best left unsaid.

14. What’s something that offends you?

A. Ted Cruz. Well, he's a someone, I suppose. Something that offends me is a KKK hood.

15. What makes you most angry about the country?

A. We've become a bunch of whiny little puffballs who are so wrapped up their individuality that they couldn't come together to build a snowman, much less save a country. I've never seen such emotionally immature and infantile behavior on display in recent years in my entire life. When I was in kindergarten, the kids behaved better than the adults do today. If we were nuked tomorrow, it would be no less than we deserve.

__________

I encourage you to visit other participants in Sunday Stealing posts and leave a comment. Cheers to all us thieves who love memes, however we come by them.

Saturday 9: Memories

Saturday 9: Memories (2019)

Unfamiliar with this week's song? Hear it here.

1) This song is a toast. Have you ever performed an official toast (at a wedding, a graduation, a retirement party, etc.)?

A. I gave a speech at my high school graduation, but it wasn't a toast.

2) According to Maroon 5 lead singer Adam Levine, this is a "toast to the ones here today." Tell us about someone in your life that you're especially grateful for.

A. I would say my husband, but everyone knows that, so I tell you about my brother instead. He's three years younger than I am, and he's a great brother. We talk on the phone at least once a week, and he is there if I need him. Hopefully, I am there if he needs me, too. He was very helpful when my husband was hurt in 2014 and he also helped me get him home in 2019 when hubby had his ankle fused together. My brother also gives the best Christmas presents. His name is Loren, but he has a family nickname that we use, although I tend to just call him "bro" and he calls me "sis." 

3) Levine is the song's composer. He said he was compelled to write it, to help him cope with the death of a friend. His lyrics acknowledge that "everybody hurts sometimes." What advice would you share with someone who is struggling?

A. Hold on for one more day. Change will come your way. (Bonus points if you know where that's from.)

4) Adam Levine was one of the original judges on The Voice. Are you a fan of the show?

A. We have watched it during the Covid quarantine. Prior to that, I didn't even know it existed.

5) Among his friends, Adam is known to be an excellent Scrabble player. Is there a game you're particularly good at (or you especially enjoy)?

A. I don't know if video games count, but my favorite video game is Skyrim. It's a first-person player open-world game. No guns. Swords, though, but you can play without killing the NPCs if you want, and just be a hunter and trader and grow rich.

I also like to play Rummy, if you want a more traditional game. That's a card game, in case someone doesn't know.

6) Though he's a multi-Grammy winner, Adam wasn't always successful. In fact, he was fired after just three hours at his first job as a waiter. Have you ever had a job that just wasn't a good fit?

A. Yes. I went to work for a bank and lasted about two months. I hated it. It was boring and lonely, and I didn't seem to get along well with the other people there, and I cried every night. I finally quit it and went back to college.

7) In 2019, when this song was released, Joaquin Phoenix gave his Oscar-winning performance in Joker. Heath Ledger also won an Oscar for is portrayal of the same character in a different film, and Cesar Romero was The Joker on TV. Today The Batman is doing great business at the box office. Do you have a favorite super hero, or arch villain?

A. At the moment, Wonder Woman as played in the newest movies would be my superhero. The scariest villain was The Borg in Star Trek.

8) Also in 2019, two familiar names had books on NY Times best seller list: John Grisham with The Guardians and Janet Evanovich with Twisted Twenty Six. Are either of these authors among your favorites?

A. I have read all of Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plum books, of which Twisted Twenty Six is one. I've read a few of John Grisham's novels. I wouldn't call either a favorite author. I'm honestly not sure I have a favorite author.

9) Random Question: What's something you wish you'd figured out earlier?

A. I wish I'd figured out that the publishing industry was going to change so dramatically from 1990 to now. I wish I'd known that newspapers were dying much sooner than I did (or I didn't deny it when I did realize it), and that the old way of publishing books was going to change so dramatically that it's practically a matter of luck and who you know to get a book deal. Maybe if I'd realized things were going to be so different, I would have taken a different route.

_______________

I encourage you to visit other participants in Saturday 9 posts and leave a comment. Because there are no rules, it is your choice. Saturday 9 players hate rules. We love memes, however.  

Blog4Peace - Ukraine

 

Book Review: Complete Confidence

Complete Confidence
By Sheenah Hankin

Copyright 2009

Kindle Edition

Approximately 250 pages

I'm fairly sure this was a free book. I found it in my Kindle library, at any rate, and I don't generally buy books for Kindle. The thing is full of books, but they are all the free kind. I read them at the doctors' offices.

At any rate, I am always looking to improve myself, so I pulled this up on my cellphone to read one day while I was out, seeing as how I'd finished The Lord of the Rings.

It's a right winger's self-help book. I could tell that almost immediately, because anyone who needed therapy this author pinned as a "loser" even though she never actually said that. It came through loud and clear in her writing - if you're reading this book, then you're a loser. You also need to pull yourself up by your bootstraps, and mental illness isn't a real thing, and only something like 10 people in a million really suffer from depression, and nobody ever needs to take an antidepressant.

Then she confirmed my suspicions by talking about being a guest on Fox News.

Her premise in the book isn't that self-esteem is the problem people have, it's lack of confidence. She doesn't address why people may have lack of confidence (or low self-esteem), really, except to occasionally allude to poor parenting. She also offers little help to anyone who really had a crappy childhood, you know, those who were physically and sexually abused, which is at least half the population if not more. 

There is also nothing here for anyone who suffers from chronic pain. Basically, she writes as if such things don't exist (which, I have discovered, is the thinking of many folks who lean right in their politics) and anyway, if you're struggling, it's your own fault.

This is a bit off-putting, but I read the entire book, nevertheless, to see what someone like this actually might offer.

The takeaways, other than the fact that I'm already a loser and have nowhere to go but up, were these:

Don't complain.

Don't whine.

Don't procrastinate.

Create a motto or a sentence that you can use to "calm yourself" if you're upset and acting "emotionally immature," which, according to this author, I am emotionally immature in multiple factors of 10 zillion times infinity.

It's basically Cognitive Behavorial Therapy without a pinch of reality. Because the reality is, lots of folks suffer all the things she considers to be "emotionally immature" behavior (think Ted Cruz yelling, "Don't you know who I am?" at the airport, or any of the Republican questions to the most recent Supreme Court candidate would likely qualify as emotionally immature examples) for a myriad of reasons.

She does not suffer these emotionally weak people (they are fools) and I honestly worried about the folks she might be seeing in actual practice, even though she proclaims time and again that she was once a loser too (but she got better).

I can't find much about this author online, which in itself is suspicious. She seems to have cleaned her Internet presence and I don't know why. If she really was a guest on Fox, shouldn't there be some bragging rights there? There are two reviews on health websites, both giving her 1 star. I found her on Facebook but she's not posted anything public since 2020, and then she was whining (ha, she said don't whine and she does!) about Covid and quarantines.

The four takeaways mentioned above I will keep in my brain, losing the rest of this overbearing book in the process. I think not whining, complaining, and procrastinating are good notions, even though she didn't really give any method of overcoming the latter (I'm a terrible procrastinator, but then, I'm also emotionally immature to the nth degree, according to this author, so there's that). I like the idea of calming yourself, if you can realize it in the moment and shut up and settle down. 

So far the only thing I've come up with as a motto for this is "Be Still" with the image of a pond in my head, but then the Eagles song, Learn to Be Still, started popping into my head and it says "you never will learn to be still" so I'm thinking this won't work as a motto.

I prefer not to use the words "Calm down" because that is what men frequently tell women, and my husband has been told numerous times not to say that to me, so I need something else.

So, motto suggestions welcome. 

But don't read the book.