Two Books

Girls They Write Songs About

By Carlene Bauer

Read by Cady Zuckerman

Copyright 2022

9 hrs

The Princess Bride

By William Goldman

Copyright 1970, et al

450 pages

I am not sure when I have managed to deal with two such totally opposite books at the same time. As I was reading The Princess Bride, I was listening to Girls They Write Songs About.

And they are very different books, written 50 years apart.

I did not like The Princess Bride. I'm not sure I would have finished it except for the glowing reviews friends had given it, and my sense that I'd somehow missed this piece of pop culture and should fill in that gap. (I still have not seen the movie.) I mean, the fellows on The Big Bang Theory quote from this book in one episode (and somehow I knew what they were quoting - thank heavens I read a lot). I'd been told it was funny, but I did not see the humor. I didn't like the author asides, or his personal side story that constantly interrupted the fantasy/fairy tale. I did not like Buttercup (the heroine, although the men were the heroes of this story) at all, who could have been a cardboard cutout, so little fleshed out was her character. I suppose the fact that this is a tale within a tale within a tale had something to do with it; as a device I didn't like it. I felt like I was dealing with an unreliable narrator, and I have never liked books with unreliable narrators.

And then there is Girls They Write Songs About, a feminist manifesto about friendship, betrayal, and women who take from other women without a second thought. In this book, Charlotte and Rose both want to be writers; they are different people, but they were people I used to be, of a sort. The author's literary prose flows through the pages, and I could relate to characters who would talk books for hours or discuss the merits of a song even if they could not sing it. She tossed out references to Anne of Greene Gables, Little Women, and other books as I once did, way back when I was in college, and the narrator (Charlotte) used the big words that I have been chastised for knowing and told not to use in either my writing or my verbal expressions, at least, not around here. I use them anyway, sometimes, but I am rusty. I envied the author the ease and flow of her style, and I do hate it when that little green monster of jealousy rears its vile little head.

The book also takes to task those of us who want to be writers but end up being something else. Like Charlotte and Rose, I had a freelance career, I have published extensively, but I've never written a book, never written much of importance, really. I have catalogued my community and left an impression, I suppose, but to have been a graduate of one of the most prestigious women's colleges, one with an extraordinary reputation as a college for writers, I must surely be a disappointment to some professor somewhere, should one remember me. 

The women in this book were fully drawn, perhaps overly drawn, while the men came across as caricatures, not as cardboard as Buttercup in The Princess Bride, but certainly not deftly drawn out to be anything more than men of certain types.

Politically, both books had something to say, as well - and they basically said the same thing. In The Princess Bride, the patriarchal desire for power and autocracy is greatly in play, as Buttercup's wedding to Prince Humperdinck is solely a device the prince is using to create a war between his country and a neighboring one. Men rule in this world; women have very little say and frankly, do not matter except as something to use. The only woman with any depth at all is deemed a witch, married to a man with the power to revive the dead. Doesn't this say a lot about how the sexes are perceived by some groups?

Politics is scarcely mentioned in Girls They Write Songs About, but it is there, nevertheless. And again, it's the patriarchy at play, the fact that despite the fact that these young women are second generation feminists, they are still, when it comes down to it, merely pawns to men, doing the bidding of men, keeping the houses for men, spawning the children, and losing themselves and their souls as one becomes the housewife and the other moves on to become the mistress, her body always a weapon for good or ill. It is not her words, her work, her productivity that make her a person, it is sex and sexuality, and motherhood. The settling, when the fight finally goes out of us, that most women end up with, because it is exhausting to try to fight a system that is so plainly and clearly set up to beat the shit out of us simply because we have no penis, as if that little piece of a body part actually matters. How did it come to rule the damn world?

Rose and Charlotte do not remain friends. This is not a spoiler, as the author has Charlotte say this plainly in what is probably the first paragraph of the book. One reads the book to find out why these two, so alike, so concerned for one another, so loving to one another at various times, are no longer friends, and even after learning the why of it, six hours into the book, one finishes the book with a secret hope that one or the other will pick up the phone and make the call that will bring them back together.

In the end, I must wonder, are we all only cardboard cutouts to one another? Where do we click? Where do we find ourselves when we cannot reach each other, when humanity sees only "other" and not "someone like me?" When we lose ourselves and look around for a mirror, and see that the world has changed, is the landscape of today the only answer to the politics of the patriarchal society that has ultimately created so much hatred and so much death? Does it ever actually perpetuate love, in all of its many forms, or does love scrape against that grain, and the love that we feel for one another, for however long or however short, however thin or thick, is this love the thing that fights the patriarchy as hard as it can? Do we overcome the many negligences of today by reaching out to a friend? And when we do save someone else, what or who are we saving them for? 

 

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing

1) What is your favorite way to spend a lazy day?

A. Reading or watching TV with my husband.

2) What do you look forward to every week?

A. Going to the grocery store.

3) Name three pet peeves you currently have.

A. People who are stupid, people who don't return phone calls (I'm looking at you, repair people), and the lack of rain here, which is not something anyone can do much about, but it still peeves me.

4) If you were to win an all-expense paid vacation for two weeks to anywhere in the world, where would you choose to go? What are some of the things you would like to experience while you were there?

A. I would like to go to Scotland and visit the castle of Mary Queen of Scots. I'd also like to visit Loch Ness. Maybe I'd see Nessie. 

5) What was one of your favorite toys as a kid? Did you save any special things from your childhood that you still have today?

A. I liked to play with Johnny West dolls, which were hard plastic dolls featuring Johnny West, Jane West, General Custer, Geronimo, Chief Cherokee, horses, a wagon, etc. I do not have any of those items; they were in my grandmother's basement and went out in a flood. I still have some things from my childhood - a small jewelry box my grandmother gave me, for instance. But not those toys.

6) What is your favorite holiday? What is your least favorite holiday?

A. My favorite holiday is Halloween. My least favorite holiday now is Christmas. I used to enjoy it, but I don't anymore. Too many people suck the joy right out of it.

7) Have you ever met anyone famous? What concerts have you attended?

A. Isn't this two questions? I have met a lot of politicians. I haven't met any famous musicians or actors. Concerts I have attended include The Commodores, Styx, Linda Ronstadt, Elton John, Neil Diamond, Juice Newton, and Loretta Lynn.

8) Are there any expressions that people use that really annoy you? If so, what are they?

A. "It is what it is."

9) Do you like your name? Are you named after anyone? Is there a story how you got your name? Would you change it if you could? If so, what name would you give yourself?

A. I like my name although I don't think it's a writer's name. I am not named after anyone. However, my grandfather thought I was named after him with my middle name (according to my mother that was not the case, but she let him think that). My father refused to call me by my name and called me a nickname, which I no longer use. In second grade my teacher said they did not use nicknames and after that I was who I am. 

10) It is said that it's the little things that make life worth living. Name five of those little things in your life.

A. Sunsets, love, the seasons (spring, summer, fall), good food, and stories.

Sunset

*Bing AI created the picture of the woman in the grocery store, the Johnny West picture came from the web someplace long ago, and I took the picture of the sunset.

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I encourage you to visit other participants in Sunday Stealing posts and leave a comment. Cheers to all us thieves who love memes, however we come by them.

Saturday 9: Beautiful Boy

Saturday 9: Beautiful Boy (1980)

This song was chosen in honor of Father's Day. Hear it here.

1) Paul McCartney has said that "Beautiful Boy" is one of his favorite John Lennon solo songs. What's yours? (This link will take you to his greatest hits.)

A. Watching the Wheels.

2) Lennon wrote this for his son, Sean. Father and son share an October 9 birthday. Does anyone in your life share your birthday?

A. Yes. My uncle, who is a year younger than I, was born on my first birthday.

3) John asks Sean to take his hand before they cross the street. Name another song that references holding hands.

A. Reminiscing, by Little River Band ("That's the way it began/We were hand-in-hand/Glenn Miller's band/Was better than before/We yelled and screamed for more")

4) Today Sean Lennon is in his late 40s. He lives in Greenwich Village, creating art and music from his elaborate home-based music and film studio. Are you into the latest in electronics?

A. I have an iPhone 5SE, which is about 6 years old, for my cellphone. I have never gone out and bought the latest and greatest. Let them get the bugs out, first.

5) In Thailand, Father's Day is observed on the birthday of the current King. Are you celebrating any birthdays this month?

A. We celebrated my brother's birthday, my husband's birthday, and my birthday. Were they still alive, we'd also celebrate my maternal grandmother's birthday, my paternal grandfather's birthday, and my mother's birthday.

6) Crazy Sam vividly remembers her long-ago high school days when her father gave her driving lessons. Do you consider yourself a good driver?

A. Yes. 

7) Sam's dad is a stickler about car maintenance and reminds Sam to change her air filter regularly so her a/c and heater can run efficiently. Share a car maintenance tip.

A. When a woman says the car she drives all the time is making a funny noise, men should not ignore her. She knows what she is talking about even if she doesn't know how to fix it. Also, clean the dirt off of the backup camera occasionally so you can see out of it.

 

8) When he fills up the car, Sam's father also stocks up on his favorite candy: Life Savers. He always has a bag in the glove compartment. What's something you don't leave home without?

A. My driver's license and a bottle of water.

9) Random Question: How long can you go without checking your phone?

A. I have been known to go all night, the next day, the next night, and into the next morning before remembering I have it, so a while. If it weren't for texting, I'd probably forget it more often.

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I encourage you to visit other participants in Sunday Stealing posts and leave a comment. Cheers to all us thieves who love memes, however we come by them.

Thursday Thirteen

Being a supportive person to another person is not always easy, but it can make a big difference in someone's life. Here are some ways to be supportive to someone:

1. Listen to them without judging or interrupting. Sometimes they just need someone to vent to or share their feelings with.

2. Validate their emotions and experiences. Let them know that you understand what they are going through and that it is okay to feel whatever they are feeling.

3. Encourage them to seek help if they need it. Whether it is professional, medical, or spiritual, help them find the resources they need and support their decision to get help.

4. Offer practical assistance if you can. For example, you can help them with chores, errands, or tasks that they are struggling with or overwhelmed by.

5. Be there for them in times of crisis. Don't abandon them when they are facing a difficult situation or a major challenge. Stay in touch and check on them regularly.

6. Celebrate their achievements and successes. Congratulate them on their accomplishments and praise their efforts. Show them that you are proud of them and happy for them.

7. Respect their boundaries and preferences. Don't pressure them to do things they don't want to do or make decisions for them. Let them have their own space and autonomy.

8. Give them honest and constructive feedback. Don't sugarcoat or lie to them, but don't be harsh or critical either. Help them improve and grow by pointing out their strengths and areas of improvement.

9. Be loyal and trustworthy. Don't gossip about them or betray their trust. Keep their secrets and confidences. Stand up for them when they are being mistreated or misunderstood.

10. Show them affection and appreciation. Give them hugs, compliments, or gifts. Tell them that you love them and that you are grateful for their presence in your life.

11. Have fun with them and make them laugh. Share jokes, stories, or memes with them. Do activities that they enjoy or try something new together. Make them smile and forget about their worries for a while.

12. Inspire and motivate them. Share your own goals and dreams with them and encourage them to pursue theirs. Challenge them to step out of their comfort zone and try new things. Remind them of their potential and capabilities.

13. Be yourself and be consistent. Don't pretend to be someone you are not or change your behavior depending on the situation. Be genuine and authentic with them. Show them that you are reliable and dependable.

*Bing AI created the images.

__________________

Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; there is a list here if you want to read other Thursday Thirteens and/or play along. I've been playing for a while, and this is my 812th time to do a list of 13 on a Thursday. Or so sayth the Blogger counter, anyway.

Building a Mountain

As I headed over to my father's the other day, I noticed that the cement plant is building a new mountain.

Maybe it's just a really big mound of dirt. Maybe it will be moved. I don't know, and don't care enough to ask.

At any rate, that dirt popping up over the trees wasn't there a few months ago. But now it is there.

I know they have been blasting a lot - it shakes the house occasionally even though this is probably at least 1.5 miles from me - but I didn't realize until I topped this hill that they were doing so much "landscaping."

The cement plant, which is the only one in Virginia, is the county's dirtiest industry, though they try very hard to pretend they are "green" and win awards in their industry for being energy efficient. Their website touts all kinds of Energy Star awards, and maybe for a cement plant they are "green" and energy efficient. The dust that gathers on the furniture and the dust that I pick up in my HEPA air filters that I have to run 24 hours a day because of my asthma tell me that they aren't exactly non-polluting.

I can see the crap that blows out of their stacks.

They occasionally are fined for noncompliance with Virginia Department of Environmental Quality regulations, but not often. That doesn't mean they are always in compliance, it just means they don't get caught. It also doesn't mean that the compliance regulations aren't too mild. For me, with my asthma, they're not strong enough.

The thing that really burns me? Most of the cement plant property once belonged to either my ancestors or my husband's ancestors. Oh, great-great-great-grandpappy, did you know what you were going to be bringing about one day?

My Brother's Peacock

My brother has two male peacocks. He did have a little flock, but the others "up and left," according to my brother. I suppose they were killed or something in the woods as this is not a native area for them. At any rate, there are no peahens for the guys. Despite the lack of females, during mating season, they still strut and do their stuff.

They also attempt to make out with anything that moves, like squirrels, blowing trees, the dog, etc., from what my brother has told me.

One of the peacocks (whom my brother calls Kevin) came to see us while we sat on the deck while we were visiting my brother for his birthday the other week. I could not get a photo of the bird from the front when he was all fanned out. I ended up with these. I really like the first picture, it's like some kind of weird dance.

I took these with my iPhone 5SE, which is ancient but still serviceable.

The India Blue peacock, scientifically known as Pavo cristatus, has resplendent plumage and a majestic demeanor.

Renowned for their extravagant tails, India Blue peacocks possess a remarkable display of iridescent blue and green feathers. The male, or peacock, proudly flaunts his elaborate train, which can extend up to five feet in length. Each feather is adorned with eye-shaped patterns, known as ocelli, creating a mesmerizing visual spectacle. During mating rituals, the peacock fans out his tail and dances gracefully, attracting the attention of peahens, who evaluate the potential mate based on the quality of his display.

These magnificent birds are native to the Indian subcontinent, where they are deeply ingrained in the country's culture and mythology. In Indian folklore, the peacock symbolizes immortality, grace, and protection, often associated with gods and goddesses. Their presence in ancient Indian art and architecture further exemplifies their significance in the cultural heritage of the region.

Moreover, India Blue peacocks exhibit remarkable sexual dimorphism. While the males showcase their extravagant plumage, the females, known as peahens, possess more subdued feathers with shades of brown and gray. This striking contrast highlights the natural diversity within the species and emphasizes the evolutionary importance of attraction and courtship.

In addition to their aesthetic appeal, India Blue peacocks contribute to the ecosystem by controlling pest populations. Their diet consists of insects, small reptiles, and vegetation, making them valuable allies in maintaining ecological balance.*

*ChatGPT assisted with the latter portion of this blog post.

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing

1. Have you tried anything new this year?

A. I have started playing music with my father and a friend of his a few times a month. I consider that new. Playing with other people is different from playing by yourself or with an electronic gadget.

2. What would you do if you don’t have Wi-Fi for a week?

A. Rejoice? I imagine I'd have a little withdrawal for the first day or so, but then I'd probably get a lot more done around the house, read more books, play more guitar. The Internet really is a time suck.

3. Do you like summer, why or why not?

A. I like summer better than winter, because it is warm and there are flowers, vegetables, and green-leafed trees to look at. I am not a fan of the heat and humidity, however. It would be nice if it would stay a pleasant 72 degrees with low humidity, but that doesn't happen anymore. It seems like the weather was like that through most of June when I was a child, but no longer.

4. What’s one restaurant that you like in your city? What food do they sell?

A. We eat a lot at Bellacino's, which has pizza and grinders.

5. Do you prefer digital books or real paper books?

A. I prefer real books, but I read digital books also. Real books quickly become clutter.

6. What’s one thing that you are interested in buying, but it’s a bit expensive, so you haven’t bought it yet?

A. I would love to have a new desktop computer and monitor. My computer is not that old, but I purchased on the cheap. The monitor is at least 10 years old. I'd like to have a really nice gaming computer with a good graphics card and all of that.

7. What tea brands do you like?

A. We always buy Lipton.

8. What’s one food that you can binge eat?

A. Potato chips.

9. Write one random thing that happened to you this month.

A. I saw a car crash in the parking lot last week.

10. How many long-term penpals do you have right now? (people who pen pal with you for more than 3 years)

A. I write to one person and my cousin. I'm not sure how long I've been doing that. At least since the pandemic.

11. If you owned a small food trailer, what food do you want to sell?

A. I have no wish to do this, but if it were something I ended up doing, I would want to sell desserts. Maybe something like funnel cakes or cotton candy.

12. What’s one handmade gift that you received and really liked?

A. I have some paintings that I am fond of.

13. What’s your ideal Saturday like?

A. My husband and I wake up, he fixes breakfast, we make the bed together, and then we dress, go to the farmer's market, visit with someone, perhaps his mom, and then we come home and just be lazy.

14. What things do you like to buy on Etsy?

A. All I have purchased on Etsy are masks that I bought during the pandemic.

15. What kind Asian food do you like?

A. All we have around here that I am aware of are Chinese food places, which I suspect is so Americanized as to be unrecognizable, but I'll go with that. 

__________

I encourage you to visit other participants in Sunday Stealing posts and leave a comment. Cheers to all us thieves who love memes, however we come by them.

Saturday 9: Big Spender

Saturday 9: Big Spender (1966)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.
 
1) In this song, Peggy Lee invites a gentleman to join her for fun, laughs, and a good time. What will you be doing for fun this weekend?

A. I'm going to dinner with my father and his wife, my brother and his girlfriend, and my husband, of course.
 
2) Peggy was blessed with perfect pitch. It's estimated that just 1 in 10,000 has this gift. Tell us about something that comes naturally to you.

A. Reading has always been easy for me. I was reading by the time I was three or so. 
 
3) Peggy was an influential performer whose fans included singers as diverse as Carly Simon, Petula Clark, and Joni Mitchell. Bette Midler even did a Peggy Lee tribute album. What songstress do you listen to most often?

A. It's a three-way tie between Melissa Etheridge, Sheryl Crow, and Stevie Nicks.
 
4) Paul McCartney was also a big Peggy Lee fan. In the 1970s he was invited to meet her in her London home. He arrived with a carefully chosen hostess gift: a bottle of champagne and an original song ("Let's Love") which she recorded and he produced. Have you more recently given or received a gift?

A. I received lots of gifts on Thursday for my birthday.

5) Cy Coleman wrote the music to "Big Spender." Unlike Peggy Lee, who never took a music lesson, Coleman was classically trained and studied composition, conducting, and orchestration at New York City’s High School for the Performing Arts and at the New York College of Music. If you could take classes in anything that interested you, what would you choose to learn more about?

A. I would love to take classes in archeology to learn more about various aspects of civilizations that have come and gone.

6) Coleman met lyricist Dorothy Fields by chance, at a party. Though Fields was more than 20 years his senior, they hit it off immediately and he invited her to work with him. Their collaboration resulted in two Broadway shows including Sweet Charity, which featured "Big Spender." Think about the person you spent the most time with last week. Were they older, younger or about the same age as you?

A. Older.
 
7) In 1966, when disc jockeys were playing this record, consumers were discovering garage door openers. These transistorized devices weren't cheap. Typically about $150 in 1966, that would be more than $1,000 in today's dollars. These days garage door openers are far more affordable and common. Can you think of something that was a luxury item when you were a kid that today you take for granted?

A. Telephones, televisions, microwaves.
 
8) 1966 found Jacqueline Susann atop the best seller list with her steamy novel, Valley of the Dolls. Though it was savaged by critics, countless Americans enjoyed the book. Do you have a similar guilty pleasure? Is there a book, movie, TV show or song you enjoy, even though you know it has little artistic merit?

A. I have read all of Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plum books. They really have no redeeming quality. I have also watched nearly episode of Survivor, and I have no idea why.

9) Random question: When at a Mexican restaurant, what's your go-to order?

A. I have never been in a Mexican restaurant (I know, I know). If I went, I'd probably order a salad.

__________

I encourage you to visit other participants in Sunday Stealing posts and leave a comment. Cheers to all us thieves who love memes, however we come by them.

60 plus 1 day

Yesterday, I had a nice day for my birthday.

My husband's radio alarm went off at 5:00 a.m., and it was playing a Melissa Etheridge song. That much registered, but I don't remember the song. Just that it was one of my favorite singer/songwriters.

My friend took me to lunch! I had the first piece of chocolate cake I've had in at least three years.

The pearls around my neck were my birthday present from my husband. I have on earrings to match.

I received lots of cards.

And over 100 people said Happy Birthday to me on Facebook! I also had phone calls and texts from various friends and family members.

My brother visited me, which would have been present enough, but he also brought me a cool gift - a box of retro candy from the year I was born.

Inside were things like wax lips, red hots, Smarties, candy cigarettes, a bubble gum cigarette, and other things that I had long forgotten.

I received a few gift cards, too. I am thinking about what to purchase with those.

Additionally, I received some books!

My husband took me to dinner Wednesday night, which was a very good thing as he got hung up on one of his contracting jobs and didn't get home until almost 9 p.m. I didn't mind the time alone; I put on a Fleetwood Mac concert we have on the DVR and read a book. Then I made a phone call to a friend whose birthday is today and learned about the former guy's indictments. I watched the news about that for a little while but then went back to my book until my husband came home. I made him a chicken sandwich, he took a shower, and we went to bed.

All in all, a very satisfactory 60th birthday. Many thanks to all who helped make it special.

Thursday Thirteen - The "I" Edition

Today I am 60 years old. There was a time when I never thought I'd see 30, much less 60, so yay.

Since it's a big deal birthday, I am going to list 13 things I've accomplished over the last 60 years. This is actually harder for me than it sounds, because I tend to focus on the things I've done wrong, not the things I've done right. Anyway, let's see what I can come up with.

1. I chose a good man for my mate.

2. I have three college degrees, and I was an honor student.

3. I have written and published approximately 2 million words and oodles of photographs for various publications. Most of those were nonfiction articles, but I've also published poetry and a couple of short stories. I also wrote the county's official magazine for its 250th birthday.

4. I am a loyal friend. I consider my friends family.

5. I am a good sister to my brother and have worked hard to keep that relationship going.

6. I am a good daughter. I certainly could have been a lot more trouble than I was.

7. I am a good wife even if I don't like to cook or do housework. I still do it.

8. I'm a good nature photographer.

9. I'm a good aunt to my nephews and niece.

10. I'm a decent musician, playing guitar and writing songs. I can usually play Twinkle Twinkle Little Star on any instrument I pick up.

11. I do ok with computers, including using word processing programs and gaming.

12. I'm well-read and knowledgeable about a wide variety of subjects.

13. I make great fudge.

__________________

Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; there is a list here if you want to read other Thursday Thirteens and/or play along. I've been playing for a while, and this is my 811th time to do a list of 13 on a Thursday. Or so sayth the Blogger counter, anyway.

Crash and Burn

Yesterday, I wheeled my grocery cart from Food Lion and as I approached my car, I hit the trunk opening.

A woman was walking by just as I hit the button, and it startled her. I called, "Sorry, I didn't realize you were so close to the car," and she said, "I thought I must've touched it or something." We laughed about it, and she climbed into her car.

I proceeded to start putting my groceries in the trunk. The woman had parked beside me and was driving a white van/SUV type vehicle. I was trying to figure out how to keep the hot rotisserie chicken away from the cold items when I heard a slight beep of a horn and then I heard, "crunch, crash, bang." I said, "Oh crap," and ducked. I turned around to see that the woman had backed right into a smaller vehicle with North Carolina plates.

They each pulled back into their parking spaces, and the woman climbed out of her car. "I just didn't see him at all," she said as she walked by me.

She said something to the man, and he somewhat loudly and angrily replied, "I don't have a job, I can't absorb this." Then he asked where he was, and she told him Botetourt County, and he wanted the police called, and wanted to know who would respond, and she again said, "Botetourt County."

I pushed my cart to the rack and as I walked back, I surveyed the damage. The car from North Carolina had taken the brunt of the blow, with the rear side being caved in. The white vehicle had scratches but was otherwise ok.

The woman was heading to her car with her cellphone in her hand. "Do you want me to stay?" I asked her. She shook her head no. Had she said yes, I would have stayed even though I didn't really see anything as I was focusing on my grocery unloading task. I didn't know her but I'm sure she was shaken. I know I would have been. Had I thought I'd been a good witness I would have stayed, but since I really didn't see anything but the aftermath, I left.

Since this occurred on private property, the police won't have done anything other than referee and ensured that insurance information was properly passed along by each party. At least there would be a paper trail.

***

The other thing that happened yesterday was something that I am occasionally confronted with, and it always makes me uncomfortable.

Someone I know asked me if I wanted to write their life story. 

For free.

I know many people are not writers, and I believe everyone has a story. But I do not want to write someone else's life story, not for free. I know they mean well, but they have no idea what kind of time that would take.

If the person had said, "I'll pay you," or mentioned anything like that - even a barter for services - I would have responded more enthusiastically. Instead, I said, "I think you should write it. Get started on it. I'll be glad to give you advice later on if you need it."

My friend said she wasn't a writer, but I said, "You should try it anyway. That's more real, more in your own voice."

Fortunately, she dropped the topic and we moved on. (I hope she doesn't read my blog.)

Many years ago, a good friend stopped talking to me after I declined to write her life story, so this is tricky. It's not something I want to lose friends over, but it's like asking a lawyer to take your case for nothing. Or asking your doctor to see you without charge. Those are extraordinary circumstances if you have to do that. Writing a life story is not an extraordinary circumstance, and writing has been how I've made my living. I have done enough volunteer work for various causes. I don't need to do free work for other people.

I remember another guy who asked me to write his life story - he had been involved, peripherally, in NASCAR - and he stopped talking to me as well when I declined. These things are not going to make any money, so offering to split the "big bucks" with me isn't going to cut it. If someone writes something, I am more than happy to read it and make suggestions for a meager amount*, but if they want copyediting or involved, in-depth work, then I need to be paid for my time.

*I charged the last person $100 to read through and make suggestions. That is way too little for what I offer, but I consider the circumstances. If you don't want to invest $100 in your creation for a read-through, then you either already know it's no good or know deep down you're not going to listen to my suggestions.

Smoke From Distant Fires

For the last month, we've had smoke from fires from Canada, and now we're getting smoke from fires in the upper eastern part of the United States. 

They make for interesting sunsets. Last night it looked like I was living on a different planet as I watched an incredibly red sunset.

He's All Grown Up

June is a big month for birthdays in my family, and today is my brother's turn.

Happy birthday, Brother!

My brother, age 8 or 9

I don't remember the day he came home, or my mother's pregnancy. I would have been two - almost three - when he was born.

He was a rascal from the start, though. My very first memory of him is this: when he started walking/crawling/moving around, he pushed a chair over to the counter, climbed up on it, and proceeded to eat an entire bottle of aspirin. 

I told my mother what I'd seen him do, and she whisked him off to the emergency room to have his stomach pumped. He was probably a year old. (I remember this because I was a hero for a day or so.)

Around the same time, a dog chomped on the leg of a very large stuffed doll that I loved, and my mother laid it next to the oven while she tended to other things. She was going to repair it. My brother, again with the chair, turned on the stove and set the doll on fire. We're lucky he didn't burn the house down.

When he was around 6, he took a pair of scissors to the hair on all of my dolls - including some old Barbies and a Midge that I wasn't supposed to play with because they'd belonged to my mother - and made them bald.

I imagine I made it difficult for him at school without meaning to - I was a straight-A student (and quiet and generally well-behaved) and he had to follow that legacy.

But those are old memories, and I want to talk about the wonderful man he has become. He raised three children - a stepson and two of his own. He runs a big company (yet still answers the phone when I call), and he is devoted to our father.

He likes to hunt and enjoys being in the woods, alone with his thoughts, I suppose. He also likes a good meal. He works very hard - too hard. He's always on the go, always doing something.

High School Senior

When my husband caught his hand in the hay baler, my brother stayed with me, brought us hamburgers when we tired of hospital food, and fixed the hot water heater for me when it broke the day I brought hubby home from the hospital.

He helped me out when husband had his ankle fused, and last summer when husband had his hip replaced. All I had to do was ask.

A few months ago, when I was having a problem, I talked to many people about it, but it was when I called him that I burst into tears and sobbed.

With his son, 1997

He's a caring fellow, and I have always loved him. So happy birthday, brother! (And yes, I know, you'll always be younger than me.)

In April 2023

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing

1. What are your plans for June?

A. Have a birthday, get a mammogram, see my doctor, work on the bookkeeping, do some writing.

2. What are your mid-year resolutions or goals?

A. I don't have any. 

3. Are you good at taking care of plants?

A. Yes.

4. What makes you feel nourished?

A. Hugs, phone calls, time alone, and chocolate.

5. Which animals do you see most in your area?

A. Deer, squirrels, turkeys, birds.

6. What books are on your summer reading list?

A. The Princess Bride, which I am reading now, Tarzan of the Apes, and any of the 100s of books on my Kindle. I would like to read a good biography of Eleanor Roosevelt. If anyone has a recommendation, please leave it in the comments.

7. What projects do you want to tackle this summer?

A. I would like to redo my office, but I don't know that I have the umph to do that at the moment.

8. Do you have any weddings, graduations, summer celebrations to attend?

A. Just birthdays in June.

9. Which summer snacks are you excited to enjoy again?

A. Watermelon.

10. How much time do you like to take for vacations?

A. We haven't had a vacation since September 2019. We generally only go away for about 5 days if we go. We have a farm to run and can't be away long.

11. How much has changed since last summer?

A. My husband has a new hip. That was a big change. He's doing great.

12. Name something that would be out of character for you.

A. Running.

13. What do you miss about winter?

A. Nothing.

14. What are your favorite free / cost effective ways to have fun?

A. Take a walk, read a book, play a video game.

15. Who do you trust most to house & pet sit?

A. This is not a service I generally have a need of, although there are folks we trust to help with the cattle should it become necessary. That said, I'd trust my brother or some of my friends with most things.

__________

I encourage you to visit other participants in Sunday Stealing posts and leave a comment. Cheers to all us thieves who love memes, however we come by them.