BANG!

 

The loud blast resounded around the warehouse-like grocery store moments after I walked in the store.

I froze.

"It was a balloon, it's alright," someone called. A manager raced by me, calling that he was double-checking that it was, indeed, not a gunshot. (I consider it somewhat heroic that he headed toward the sound.)

The store sells helium balloons, and one had burst. In that cavernous building, it sounded like a .22 caliber gun going off.

It was a loud echo chamber, the noise bouncing off the ceiling like a bird hitting a glass door.

It upset me more than I realized. Mostly, I was upset at my reaction. Some, like me, simply stood, but other people ducked behind vegetable crates.

I was in a section with nowhere to go, nothing to duck behind.

I was vulnerable.

So, I am happy today that I didn't get shot yesterday.

But I am terribly pissed off that this is where we are, that I came home angry, frightened, and upset because a helium balloon burst in the supermarket.

Terrified that I know now that when the gunman enters the store, I'll be among the first to go, because I froze in panic instead of running.

I try to tell myself that on some level I knew it was a balloon, that I had just walked by there, and my subconscious had noted someone using the helium tank.

But the reality is that I froze, and now I wonder if I need to practice not freezing at such sounds, practice hustling my fat ass out of the way, around a corner, falling to the ground knowing that with my bad back and my pudgy body I probably wouldn't get up again without help. I think about how embarrassing that would have been, had I overreacted . . . this time.

Because this time, it wasn't a gunshot.

I am happy about that.

Thursday Thirteen

I'm doing today's Thursday Thirteen by typing in something in Bing and seeing what the autocomplete offers. And then I'll expound upon it if I feel like it.

1. I need . . . a hero. Don't we all need a hero, someone in a cape to come swooshing in to save the day? Or somebody simply to enfold us in a hug?

2. I need . . . help. Help! I need somebody! Ok, wrong song, maybe. I suspect we all also need help with something or another. Even if it's just a better way to cook pork.

3. I need . . . you. And I do, whoever you are. Thank you for reading my blog and being part of my world, even if I never know you. I appreciate the fact that you share some time with me here.

4. I need . . . money. Doesn't everyone, except the rich dudes like Elon Musk & Bezos & Gates? My husband and I were watching a show and the announcer mentioned a painting someone bought for $110 million dollars. If that person instead had given the money away in increments of $100,000, he could have helped 1,100 individuals. A hundred thousand dollars would pay off a lot of people's bills, help a lot of retirement funds, ease 1,100 tired minds. Or the person could have given 2,200 people $50,000 and that would have helped many folks, too. But, it's his/her money, so if they want a mult-million-dollar painting, they buy a painting.

5. I need . . . a new butt book. (Ok, I have no clue what this means.) WTF?

6. I want . . . my invite code. I would like an invitation, too, only I don't go out much anymore.

7. I want . . . to eat your pancreas. (Total eww factor on this one. WTF?)

8. I want . . . to know what love is. Love is an intangible, and it means different things to different people. Some people think they say I love you when they give you things. Some people think they say I love you when they give you time. Some people think you're supposed to know you love them without them ever having to say it. It's infinite and finite all at the same time, conditional and unconditional all at the same time, timeless and time-limited all at the same time.

9.  I am . . . jazz. I'm not even going to expound on this one, I just like what it says.

10. I am . . . Sam. Sam I am? Samwise Gamgee from Lord of the Rings? 

11. I hope . . . you dance. Dancing is good for the soul. Even if you look bad doing it.

12. I hope . . . they serve beer in hell. (Well, why not?)

13. I hope . . . this works. Yeah, me too!

___________________

Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; there is a list here if you want to read other Thursday Thirteens and/or play along. I've been playing for a while, and this is my 767th time to do a list of 13 on a Thursday. Or so sayth the Blogger counter, anyway.

FedEx Delivers

My happiness today comes via FedEx and the USPS.

FedEx delivered my order of Q-tips, Zyrtec, and other items so that I can continue my non-visits to stores to obtain such items.

I still go into the grocery store and CVS, but aside from needing to go find some pants soon, I have not missed shopping.

I'd buy the pants online if I thought they'd fit without trying them on.

The USPS brought me a personal letter from a former college professor, who wrote she was "thrilled to get an actual letter in the actual mail," when I wrote to congratulate her on a book publication.

Hurray for home delivery! That makes me happy.

A Rainbow!

This morning, my happiness came early when we had a shower and then sun - followed by a long (though not bright) rainbow.

It is hard to have a bad morning with a rainbow outside, no matter how dim it may be.

I am also happy because my husband is out on the tractor mowing hay. He's recovered from his hip surgery and eager to get back to work on the farm. I have asked him to call me every so often to be assure me that he is ok, but he seems to be happily ensconced on his farm tractor and having no issues.

My worries are for naught, it would appear.

The Happiness Challenge

The August Happiness Challenge comes to me via The Gal, who mentioned it a few weeks ago on her blog.

The idea is to post daily about something that makes you happy, or at least content. She suggests using the same picture with the post.

For August 1, my happiness is:

I had a healthy salad for lunch.

Yahoo!

Bluebird of Happiness

Seeing A Stroke

Many years ago, perhaps around 2003, I went to interview an older woman named Emily. She was in charge of the local historic society and ran the museum.

I had worked for her about 15 years prior, spending time at the museum cataloging items. She and I had a falling out because I wanted to set up a database on the computer for the items; she wanted everything written on a yellow legal pad. I threw up my hands and quit; it was a part-time job, and I could do without the hassle. 

She didn't speak to me for years after that. I became involved in a different historic society and perhaps that helped her come around.

Anyway, since we were on speaking terms again, I went to Emily's house to interview her for the newspaper about changes in the museum (which by now was computerized, etc.) and her efforts to catalogue every school that once existed in the county.

She greeted me cordially and offered me a glass of tea. I admired her house, which was one of the older ones in town, and then proceeded to move on with the interview, asking pertinent questions about what the historical group was doing, her research, etc.

Suddenly, she began slurring her words. She looked funny to me as well, almost like she was drunk and falling over. I stopped the interview and asked her if she was ok.

She said she was diabetic and probably needed some orange juice; would I get her a glass out of the refrigerator?

This I promptly did, and then waited anxiously while she drank it.

My grandmother was diabetic and had what she called "sugar drops," but they were nothing like this. This did not seem to me to be a diabetic issue. This was scary, whatever was going on.

However, I am not a qualified health care person. When I suggested that I should take her to the doctor, who at that time was about four blocks away, she grew angry. She told me the interview was over and I should leave.

Having been tossed out of the house, there was nothing I could do but go. However, I came home and called the only people I knew who were related to her and left a message on their answering machine asking if they could check on her.

They never called me back, so the next morning I called Emily to see if she alright. I was quite anxious about her.

She told me that after I'd left, she'd driven herself to the doctor who thought she'd had a TIA.

A TIA is a transient ischemic attack, also known as a mini-stroke.

I'd never witnessed anyone having a stroke, and while I had some clue as to what to look for, having it happen in front of me was terrifying.

There are more than 200,000 TIAs in the United States annually, so this happens a lot.

The symptoms include:

• Slurred speech and difficulty in understanding others
• Vision problems
• Weakness, numbness or paralysis on one side of the body
• Loss of balance
• Dizziness
• Sudden and severe headache

She experienced the slurred speech and loss of balance. I'm not sure about the other symptoms but those I could see for myself.

I don't know why, but for some reason I woke up with this on my mind, so I thought I'd write about it. I hadn't thought about this person, who died long ago, or this interview, in many years but it was on my brain first thing this morning.

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing

1) What one event from your lifetime would you change if you could, and why?

A. I think I have answered this before: I would not have been born. But if that is not an acceptable answer, then I would have insisted I go to Hollins out of high school, or found some way to go, since my parents didn't want me to go there. It would have changed the entire trajectory of my life as I'd probably not have married my husband. Maybe we'd have married anyway. It's hard to say. But that's one thing I would change.

2) If you could give one piece of advice to your younger self, what would it be and how old would your younger self be when they got it? Do you think your younger self would listen?

A. "It will get easier." Age 13. Hopefully, she would have listened.

3) Would you be any good on Survivor?

A. Oh, I'd be out on the first day probably. I'm a princess and wouldn't be able to deal with the hardship of it. I like my comforts like mattresses and food and stuff.

4) What's a safety rule that's very important to you?

A. Don't get shot.

5) What would you like to say to people in the future?

A. We really were as stupid as the videos on the ancient Youtube indicate.

6) What's your favorite dish to bring to a summer cookout?

A. A supermarket-fixed chicken, a bag of potato chips, and a bottle of soda.

7) How much time have you spent outdoors this week?

A. Maybe 30 minutes.

8) Where do you set your thermostat?

A. I don't set it anywhere. It is affixed to the wall.

9) How did you learn to swim?

A. I'm pretty sure my father threw me in a pool and said, "Swim," and I did, but maybe I am imagining that.

10) How do you avoid overheating?

A. I don't go outside when it's 90 degrees.

11) What are you going to do this weekend?

A. I'm trying to take care of my swollen hand.

12) What’s your favorite way to spend time?

A. Reading, writing, playing guitar (sniff, sniff, I haven't been able to do that for weeks now), and playing video games.

13) What’s the most useless thing you own that you would never get rid of?

A. My college diplomas.

14) Have you started planning your next vacation?

A. We are not planning a vacation.

15) Are you very active, or do you prefer to just relax in your free time or is it one and the same to you?

A. I am not active. I'm what you would call "sedentary" far too much of the time.

__________

I encourage you to visit other participants in Sunday Stealing posts and leave a comment. Cheers to all us thieves who love memes, however we come by them.

Saturday 9: I Would Be In Love

Saturday 9: I Would Be in Love (Anyway) 1970

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) Frank Sinatra sings, "If I knew then what I know now." If you were giving advice to a recent high school grad, based on that phrase, what would you say?

A. I would tell the person not to worry about what is going to happen tomorrow, because it is always the things one doesn't worry about that ultimately trip you up. I'd also tell him/her to get more education, whatever their interest, even if that's a certificate in plumbing.

2) This song is about a man looking back on his marriage, which has ended. While he is sad, he is not sorry he loved her. Do you believe that it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?

A. It's better to have loved and lost, I think. I know there is heartache involved with that, but a life without having loved sounds pretty empty to me.

3) Sinatra married four times. He met his first wife, Nancy, when he was 19. He saw a pretty girl sitting on her front porch, giving herself a pedicure, and he rushed home for his ukulele so he could serenade her. Have you ever sung to anyone? Has anyone ever sung to you? 

A. I sing to my husband frequently; I'm not sure he realizes I am telling him something when I do that, though. He cannot sing but if I ask, he will sing "Soft Kitty" to me at night before we go to sleep.

4) According to Barbara, his final wife, they met when they were neighbors in Rancho Mirage, California. Sinatra had his own tennis court, needed a fourth for doubles with his houseguests, and invited the lady next door to play. Tell us about your neighbors.

A. One of my neighbors is in her 80s. She was the athletic director at Hollins College, my alma mater, and led championship teams. She was a huge supporter of Title IX and an advocate for women's sports. She has a long list of sports titles from the many things she has done. She also owns a farm and has cattle. She is one of the most interesting people I know.

Here is a video of her talking about her work with Title IX.

5) When not performing before an audience or cameras, Sinatra often wore hats and caps because his hair was thin, and his toupee annoyed him. Is there anything you wear for "dress up" that you're happy to ditch when you go casual?

A. Makeup. I used to wear makeup every day, but then we had Covid. Since I didn't leave the house for months, I stopped wearing makeup. Now I don't wear makeup just to go to the store or something, although I think I look a little better with makeup. However, after the long break from it, makeup bothered me and made my eyes itch and I've yet to find something that doesn't. Unless I really need to have on that mascara and eye shadow, it's au natural for me these days.

6) Frank had a sweet tooth and to the end of his life, he enjoyed chocolate-covered apricots, ordered from Lepore's in his hometown of Hoboken, NJ. If you could have any sweet treat right now, what would you request?

A. Chocolate covered cherries. And white cake with white icing. Just because.

 
7) This song was written specifically for Sinatra by Bob Gaudio, best known as a member of The Four Seasons. That 1960s quartet is now legendary. In addition to 25 Top Ten Hits, they are in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and inspired the Broadway play and movie musical, Jersey Boys. Do you have a favorite Four Seasons song?

A. December, 1963 (Oh What a Night).

8) In 1970, the year this record was released, The Mary Tyler Moore Show premiered. Were you a fan?

A. I'm afraid it did not run on a channel we could receive, so I didn't see it unless I was visiting my grandparents or someone else. We could only get one channel for a long time when I was growing up.

9) Random question: Have you ever named your car or truck?

A. I call it "car" and it seems to respond well to that.

_______________

I encourage you to visit the posts of other participants in Saturday 9 and leave a comment. Because there are no rules, it is your choice. Saturday 9 players hate rules. We love memes, however.  

Husband Update

Husband has been released from his doctor after a post-op checkup earlier this week.

He can do anything he feels like doing.

So yay.

At the moment, he's taken over some of my duties while I try to get the swelling out of my hand and get it back to working properly.

When he was off sick, we had no rain. Now he could work, but it is raining, and a farmer doesn't cut hay in the rain, generally speaking.

Maybe next week he can start back to work on the farm.

I am very pleased he did so well with this hip replacement surgery. They have come a long way in techniques so that the healing process is not as bad as it once was.

Thursday Thirteen

I am easily aggravated lately. Let's see if there have been 13 aggravations of late.

1. A poetry journal that I've been publishing in for the last several years sent me an email telling me they couldn't afford the postage to mail me my "contributor's copy" so would I please send them $10. That's not paying me a contributor's copy. That is me paying them. I won't submit to this publication again; I don't care how good its reputation is or used to be.

2. My hand is a constant aggravation because I can't get the swelling to go down and I'm not sure what is wrong with it.

3. I can't play my guitar because of my hand.

4. My county Board of Supervisors has apparently never met a rezoning proposal it doesn't like. Wayward, unplanned growth doesn't make for a healthy community. It makes a mess.

5. The local daily newspaper gets worse every week. I suspect we're on our last year of subscribing. I will miss it, but I'm not paying more for less.

6. The local weekly newspaper isn't even worth looking at. What a waste of trees. How depressing. And sad. I mourn the loss of the Fourth Estate.

7. We bought Sam's Club Member's Mark brand batteries a while back. They do not last long. We went back to Energizers, although I actually think Duracell is the best battery. I couldn't find any of those.

8. My local CVS seems to be having stocking issues; I'm having a hard time finding things in there now. They were the best place to look during much of the pandemic but not so much now.

9. Covid cases are up. We're in a high transmission area. Are people taking precautions? No. Does this aggravate me? Yes. I do have to go to the grocery store sometimes. I never understood why wearing a mask was such a big deal. Personally, I have had fewer colds and been much less ill since I started wearing a mask. Since I like not being sick, I will continue to wear one.

10. I have a new mole on my side and the darn thing itches constantly. It's so small I can barely see it, but its itch is as big as my entire side. Which is pretty big since I'm overweight.

11. The doctor's scale said I weighed as much as I weighed when I was in there two months ago, but my scales tell me I have lost 5 pounds since the end of June. I think I will believe my scales.

12. Friday night Melissa Etheridge will be performing within driving distance of me, but I won't be going to see her yet again. I can't believe she's been this close twice now and I haven't been to see her either time. Apparently, my desire for personal comfort and health outweighs my desire to see one of my favorite musicians. But damn. Blast you, Covid!

13. I'm actually aggravated that I am being aggravated by so many things at the moment. And such silly things, too. Life things, everyday things. I need a chill pill, I think.

___________________

Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; there is a list here if you want to read other Thursday Thirteens and/or play along. I've been playing for a while, and this is my 766th time to do a list of 13 on a Thursday. Or so sayth the Blogger counter, anyway.

Hand Up Date

I love my primary care doctor.

However, I couldn't get in to see her. I had to settle for her nurse practitioner. This was the first time I saw her.

She didn't know what to do about my hand and resorted to Dr. Google ::insert eye roll here:: and I finally asked her to go ask my doctor what to do. I'd already googled the thing multiple times and come up with varying answers; that was why I went back to the doctor.

So, without looking at my hand, my doctor told the NP to order an x-ray and possibly physical therapy. Maybe I need to use my hand instead of babying it, although babying it last weekend helped more than the non-babying I'd been doing. Remember, I was dealing with a husband recovering from surgery. I couldn't very well not use my hand.

I wasn't happy with this advice. For one thing, the x-ray place they are using now is not local, it's 35 minutes away. For another, I felt like it was the wrong advice. I can try moving my hand more and exercising it, but I've been doing that anyway. Every morning I wake up and move my hand in all the formations of the chords on my guitar. Once or twice a week I've tried to play the guitar. I have typed every day. I haven't been holding it still.

I put my husband's compression socks on him for nearly 10 days after I was told to put a splint on my finger. You can't put compression socks on somebody with a splint on your finger, I can tell you that right now.

I came home from the doctor, at a sandwich, and then wrapped a small ACE around my hand, leaving my fingers free. It's fairly loose and I can move my wrist up and down, wiggle my fingers, and flex my hand against the bandage. If the x-ray place calls to make an appointment, I am going to give it 10 more days before I go for the x-ray. I don't want more x-rays if I don't need them.

My doctor has in the past year had an entire staff turnover. I doubt this is unique to her, but I am uncomfortable with new people when it comes to health care. Prior to Covid, most of her staff had been with her for over a decade and I knew them well. I don't blame people for leaving medicine or moving on to better paying jobs (I don't really know where her staff all went), but that doesn't mean it doesn't have consequences, especially for someone like me who doesn't like change. It's one thing to go somewhere and always see someone new; I can get used to that if I expect it. But to have seen the same people for a decade and then have them gone, well, that makes me anxious.

Wish me luck as I try to take care of my hand for another week.

It Really Exists!

 

The Oscar Mayer Weiner mobile was in my community Saturday!

It's Not Getting Better

In the first part of the month, I hurt my hand. I ignored it for a while, but then it swelled.

So I took myself off to urgent care, where they x-rayed it and put a splint on it.

Now it is three weeks later and I'm still having swelling in my hand and pain in my middle and index finger. Typing will make it swell. I can't play my guitar at all.

My primary care doctor can't see me until Wednesday. I wasn't sure about making the appointment; my hand was very swollen yesterday but not so much today. I still can't make a fist so there is some swelling and as things go it worsens as the day passes.

I have computer work I've put off while dealing with this, but mostly I've ignored the problem because I was taking care of my husband as he recovered from hip replacement surgery. But he's out and about now.

Nothing to do but put the splint back on (I take it off to type), I guess.

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing

1. What's something you've recently accomplished solo?

A. I go to the little girl's room solo. Does that count? 

2.  What's one product you use that never ever fails?

A. Dawn dishwashing liquid.

3. Have you found your place in the world? Where is it?

A. I reckon I have. If I ain't where I'm supposed to be, I've no idea where it is I might out'n be.

4.  Worst movie you ever saw?

A. It was something by Adam Sandler. I can't remember the name of it.

5. What's the last fun thing you did?

A. We went to the farmer's market Saturday morning.

6. What's your favorite Italian dish?

A. Spaghetti, although I'm not sure that's actually Italian.

7. Have you ever been to France? Any desire to visit there, and if so, what would site or city would you most want to see?

A. I have been to Paris, France. I wouldn't mind going back now that I am older. One of the things that thrilled me the most was a painting in the Louvre. I don't remember anything about it except it was painted so that the lighting was transformative to me. Some part of me wants to go back and see if I can find that painting again (although it may not even be on display now, since I was last there about 40 years ago).

8. Have you ever been to Disney, any of the parks at all? Are you a Disney superfan or something less than that? They're open right now so tell us, would you go if you had the time/money/a free trip?

A. I have been to Disney in Orlando. I'm not a super fan. I'm not sure I'm even a medium fan. I would go if it were free, sure, and I could go in the winter.

9. Your favorite place to go when you want to be quiet as a church mouse? Would those who know you well describe you as more church mouse or perhaps more like mighty mouse?

A. I am more of a church mouse, and my favorite place to go is my home.

10. Do you bake your own bread? Last time you had hot out-of-the-oven homemade bread? What's your favorite kind of bread?

A. I do not bake my own bread. I am not sure when I last had homemade bread. I don't necessarily have a favorite bread.

11. What's something you might say is 'the greatest thing since sliced bread'?

A. My cellphone.

12.  Share with us five little things you're grateful for today. Small blessings. One catch-they all must start with the letter T.

A. The husband, the air conditioner, the finger splint on my dislocated finger, the hot dogs I had for lunch, and the time to write this. (Yes, I cheated by using "the." Sue me.)

13. Tell us where you were and something about what life was like when you were 20- 21.

A. I married when I was 20. Bread cost about $0.99 a loaf, gasoline was around $1.25 a gallon, and our rent was $225 a month. The top song on the radio was When Doves Cry by Prince, followed by songs like Jump by Van Halen. My husband's starting salary at the fire department was $13,000, and I was making about $8,000 as a legal secretary. I was also going to night school at the local community college.

14. What's on the menu at your house this week?

A. Chicken is almost always on the menu, along with squash of some kind, green beans, peas, and maybe mashed potatoes. We generally eat a sandwich for lunch.

15.Something you recently purchased where a coupon was involved? Do you regularly shop with coupons?

A. I do not regularly shop with coupons, but I receive them on my card for CVS, so when I last purchased acetaminophen at CVS, there was a 40% off coupon for me to use.

__________

I encourage you to visit other participants in Sunday Stealing posts and leave a comment. Cheers to all us thieves who love memes, however we come by them.

Saturday 9: Diamonds

Saturday 9: Diamonds (2012)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) In this song, Rihanna sings that when she looks at her lover, she sees the light in his eyes. The internet is filled with makeup tips for making your eyes look brighter. Drugstores sell eye drops that promise to get the red out. Are you bright-eyed this morning?

A. I am not a morning person, so probably not. I am probably not bushy tailed, either.

2) She likens him to a shooting star. Astronomers tell us that shooting stars aren't that rare at all. They occur when dust, asteroids or comets enter the earth's atmosphere, and are often visible on clear, pollution-free nights. Have you ever seen a shooting star?

A. I have! I even caught one in a photo once. 

 

3) In ancient Rome, shooting stars were considered good luck, especially for those going into battle, while some tribes in East Africa believed shooting stars were a harbinger of doom. Are you superstitious?

A. Not generally.

4) The singer of "Diamonds" hosted a lavish Diamond Ball to raise funds for education programs in Malawi, Senegal, and the country of her birth, Barbados. Rhianna named her charity initiative the Clara Lionel Foundation after her grandparents. If you were to name your foundation after your grandparents, what would it be called? What would you ideally like to do in their honor?

A. The HB Literacy Foundation, and it would teach people how to read and serve as a library. Neither of my grandparents on my mother's side had much education (I'm not sure about my paternal grandparents but I don't think there was much there, either), but I remember how proud my grandmother was of her set of encyclopedias. I think that would be a good foundation to honor both sets of grandparents.

 

5) Rhianna recently had her first baby, a boy. According to the Social Security Administration, the top names for baby boys in 2021 were Liam and Noah. Is there a Liam or Noah in your life?

A. Not that I am aware of.

 

6) When she was still in her teens, Rhianna entered a beauty pageant on a dare, and won! Can you recall a time you acted on a dare?

A. Not really. If I did, I was probably in my teens.

7) While on tour, she likes to sneak out into the audience, just to get the vibe from out there. To disguise herself, Rhianna slips on a black oversized hoodie. Are hoodies a staple of your wardrobe?

A. I do not like hoodies. I have one or two, but I don't wear them.

  

8) In 2012, the year this song topped the charts, London hosted the Olympic Games. If you won a trip to London, what would you like to see?

A. Bobbies on bicycles two by two, West Minister Abby, the Tower of Big Ben, and the rosy, red cheeks of the little children.

 

9) Random question: Did either or both your parents go to college?

A. My mother took accounting classes at the community college when I was a young teenager.

_______________

I encourage you to visit other participants in Saturday 9 posts and leave a comment. Because there are no rules, it is your choice. Saturday 9 players hate rules. We love memes, however.  

Fragile Democracy

China can trace its history back to the 21st century BC - more than 2,000 years before the current Gregorian calendar started.

But humans have been around approximately 1.7 million years. The Roman Empire lasted for over 1,000 years, beginning in 27 BC and ending, more or less, in 1453 AD.

For all of those years, people did not have a say in their government. The government was a king, a despot, a ruler "sent by God" or some other something, but until the Magna Carta was signed in the 13th century, the notion that anyone other than a chosen one or the biggest bully had a say in what went on in life was unheard of.

The United States was founded in 1776. The U.S. Constitution was signed in 1787 and ratified in 1788. 

So, this country is about 234 years old, if one counts from the signing of the U.S. Constitution.

Democracy is an experiment, and it has, to date, relied upon the righteousness and morality of the people in charge in order to remain in play.

Our form of government is new. It is based on a rule of law, not the whims of a man.

And we came within five feet of losing it.

The fragility of our government has been brought home to me in the last two months while I watched each moment of the January 6th committee hearings. How close we came to having a king is frightening.

It frightens me more to think that there still Americans who apparently do not want democracy but want instead a king. And not a nice king, but a tyrant who wanted to kill off his own vice president because the vice president chose not to be a lackey at a critical moment in time.

We do not have sufficient structure in place to maintain democracy. I see that now, because (mostly since the 911 attacks) we have become a depraved and cowardly people.

Depraved and cowardly people require bullies to lead them. They don't trust themselves, I guess, to govern. How could they, after all, when they are so scared that they must carry a six-shooter on their side simply to go to the market?

 

Nothing in our history has prepared us for a president who would dismantle the nation. Nor are we prepared to deal with a rogue SCROTUS, a group of contemptuous Bible-thumpers who believe that their Word of God outweighs the law of man.

The law of man is what this country was founded upon, not the word of God.

Nor are we prepared to deal with an entire party of fascists who would bring us all to ruin simply for the sake of, well, to be honest, I don't know what they want. I don't think it is what they will get, even if they win, because the reality will be so terrible as to make them wish they'd had some sense to begin with.

Many people are dismissing the January 6th committee as a witch hunt. I am seeing things I already knew - some tidbits of new information, sure - but the overall theme of a power grab was already there. I saw it in 2016.

I wrote about it in 2016. Anyone who was paying attention could see what was happening. What I couldn't do, and what apparently people in power could not do, was figure out how to counterbalance it.

If I could time travel, I would go back and ensure Democrats held the majority in 2014, so the Mitch McConnell could not be the asshole he is and stack the Supreme Court.

And I certainly would not allow the former guy to be anywhere near the Oval Office.

But I cannot time travel, I can only move forward. 

Now I am focused on seeing democracy survive, because I think we have maybe two years - maybe just a few months - before it crumbles.

The January 6th committee, strangely enough, is showing the way. It was nice to hear a Republican refer to a Democrat as "my friend" and vice versa when yielding in the back and forth that the committee has set up to make its points.

Republicans and Democrats are not two difference species. We are not - or should not be - enemies.

We need to find common ground before it's too late, and if that means holding hands with strange bedfellows, so be it.

Important things require compromise. If we can't do that, we are lost.

Thursday Thirteen

The questions I ask Alexa:

1. Can you play me some sleeping music?

2. Play Even Now by Barry Manilow (thanks for that one, Gal!)

3. Give me my flash briefing (that's a news aggregate that plays whatever news media you've chosen; mine is NPR, The Associated Press, Reuters, and the local CBS news station, WDBJ7).

4. Play the theme from Bewitched.

5. What's 705 minus 661?

6. Play Money for Nothing by Dire Straits

7. How long do you hold my recordings? (You can change this setting so that the things you ask are deleted on a regular basis.)

8. What's on my calendar for tomorrow?

9. What's the capitol of New York? (It's Albany and I knew that, I was double checking.)

10. How do you spell anesthesia?

11. What day is it? (Yes, I ask that.)

12. What movie made the phrase "Kiss me, you fool" popular? (I still don't know the answer to this.)

13. What's the weather forecast for tomorrow?

___________________

Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; there is a list here if you want to read other Thursday Thirteens and/or play along. I've been playing for a while, and this is my 765th time to do a list of 13 on a Thursday. Or so sayth the Blogger counter, anyway.

When Nothing is Easy

I want to help save the United States from falling into a fascist oligarchy or autocracy.

Helping, however, is not easy.

The easiest thing is to write a check or send an online donation, but I want to do something tangible. I need to see that I've done something, see something besides a dwindle in my bank balance.

And yet when I began looking online for ways to send out postcards or otherwise support a federal candidate in my own locality, which is contested in the House election this year, I found little to indicate that even the Democrats support their own candidate.

Websites that offer the option to write postcards pointed me towards North Carolina contested seats. While I understand the need for the Democratic party to keep a majority in the House and to gain a few seats in the Senate, I'm a Virginia girl who has written about local politics for 30 years. If the contest is here in my backyard, then that is what I'm most interested in.

After looking at the "how to write postcards" sites, my heart sank. So many rules. So much rigamarole. So much crap to wade through when all I wanted was addresses and a template on what to say. I sat that aside to return to later.

Then I went in search of the Democratic candidate for the Virginia's 6th District. I found her Facebook page. I found a place to order a sign - and my locality, which she would represent, wasn't even listed as an option for a sign. I had to list my address in the "other" line, which did not leave me feeling very hopeful, I must say.

I doubt I get a sign.

After checking her website. I found there was no option to volunteer to write anything. Options to canvas (go door-to-door) was about it, and I'm not physically able to do that.

I contacted a member of the county's local party simply to ask what was going on. She sent me to someone else, and I was told the money had to go where it mattered most. Meaning, they've already decided to give up the 6th District to the Republican incumbent, who as far as I'm concerned is one the former guy's cult of traitors. He doesn't represent me. He wants my sex to be popping out babies and losing jobs because of "motherhood."

My only option, I learned, was to write postcards for candidates either in northern Virginia localities where there were strong possibilities of wins or write for candidates in other states.

I don't know if Republicans do this, too. If they know a district is generally 70% Democrat, do they not support the Republican running there? I have no idea.

But the Democrats are coming across to me as totally stupid in running this campaign - or any campaign, to be perfectly honest. There is so much that could be blasted across TV screens to show that we are a failing nation - and so much of lays at the feet of a few men, including but not limited to the senator from Kentucky, who has held up many, many changes that would have been helpful to millions of people, and the former guy. 

We could be trying hard to remind the businessmen who have married the evangelicals to create a lockstep of bootlickers that maybe lower taxes isn't the only drumbeat that should sound in their heads. Maybe they need to be reminded that they could lose rights, too. Or that an autocrat, should he so desire, could just snap his fingers and declare that he - as the so-called nation-state - owns the businesses and their profits. It happens in other countries, so yes, it could happen here.

I mean, if they can make women lose their bodily autonomy by stacking SCROTUS, then of course any right can be removed. Even the right to own a business or property because you don't meet certain criteria. Or the right to have as many children as you want. One need only look at other nations to see that "rights" aren't rights at all, if enough people agree that taking "rights" from others is a good thing.

Maybe they need to be reminded that rioting in the streets isn't good for business, either, should the voting situation become dire, should other candidates use the former guy's tactics. And I'm sure someone will.

The Democrats are doing, well, as best I can tell, next to nothing, which makes them at best complicit in the decline of the United States, which is already nearly a third-world nation with nukes, if not actually working to make it happen.

I have thought for a long time that there is no party in this country that actually represents me, a middle-of-the-road person who is apparently caught in the 1970s in my thinking, still believing in the American Dream (as it was laid out for me in my teenage years) even though it's become a fascist nightmare.

I have never registered for a party. I have almost always voted for Democrats because their values align more closely with my own, but they are no longer reaching many people that they need to reach.

They give up too soon, and they don't fight back.

I guess they want to lose.

Maybe the people who don't vote have the right idea, after all.

Wineberries

When I was a young girl, about this time of year we'd go wineberry picking.

Wineberries are an invasive species that are also good to eat. The berries are sweeter than a raspberry, though smaller, and animals love them.

We loved them too, and they were difficult to find. Since my father actively farmed, he did his best to keep things like wineberries from taking over fields. We found them on the edges of fields near forests, in gullies, and other places the mowing machine and herbicide sprayers couldn't reach.

Usually, we only found a few handfuls and ate them then and there, hot off the cane, juice running down our faces.

Fast forward to adulthood, and I found a few wineberry bushes on my husband's family farm, but not many. Not enough for even a handful, really.

This year, my brother shared that my father's property, which is no longer farmed but instead used to attract deer and other wildlife, was loaded with wineberries and blackberries.

He made pints and pints of wineberry jelly. He loves to cook and apparently likes to make jelly, too! He also generously brought me a big container full of wineberries simply for eating.

All mine just for eating! Yum.

This is a wineberry plant. The stalks have little hairs on them.

This is what a plant looks like after the wineberry has been picked or fallen off.

A close-up of the little hairs on the wineberry cane.

My brother's wineberry jelly, one with seeds, one without.

Wineberries (Rubus phoenicolasius) are considered an invasive shrub in the same genus as raspberries and blackberries. The berry canes create thickets that reduce an area’s value for wildlife habitat and recreation. 

Wineberries were introduced to North America in the 1890s as breeding stock for raspberries. They originated in Japan and eastern Asia. 

By the 1970s it was invading natural areas, although it must have spread fast because my grandfather, who grew up in Botetourt in the early 1920s or thereabouts, had them growing on his farm by then because he told us what they were when we were children, and that was in the 1970s.

They may be invasive, but animals love them and depend on them now for food. And they sure make a nice afternoon snack!