I Baked

 

The garden is starting to produce well now. This is the first garden we've had in several years. The fresh veggies are nice to have, except for times like now, when everything comes in all at once.

I have already made two loaves of zucchini bread; one is in the freezer (we ate the other).

This time I wanted to try a different recipe for zucchini muffins. It was supposed to make 12 muffins, but the author of this recipe must make HUGE muffins. I made 12 muffins plus something we'll call a small zucchini cake from that batter. I could have made 18 muffins easily, had I been more muffin-inclined.

Since I seldom follow recipes, I can't send you, dear reader, to a link. It wouldn't be what I made. But I can give you the recipe as I prepared it (which is not the same as the recipe on Simply Recipes, which is where I found a recipe for zucchini muffins that I then changed.)

Anyway, here goes nothing:

Ingredients

2 eggs

1 1/3 cup sugar

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

3 cups grated zucchini (I put mine in the food processor and chop it up that way)

3/4 cup melted unsalted butter (this works out to 1 full stick plus all but 1 tablespoon of a second stick. That's what I used, anyway, I'm not sure of my math. I melted it in the microwave.)

2 3/4 cup self-rising flour

2 teaspoons cinnamon

1 teaspoon ground ginger

1/2 teaspoon cloves

9 ozs raisins

Preheat oven to 350 F.

I used muffin cups in my muffin tins. If you don't use cups, then you'll have to spray them with Baker's Joy or something.

Mix eggs, sugar, and vanilla. Add in flour, cinnamon, ginger, and cloves. Stir in, then mix with mixer until it starts getting a little stiff. Add in zucchini, stir with spoon, then stir with mixer for 30 seconds or until well mixed. Stir in raisins.

Spoon into muffin pan. Cook for 20-25 minutes. They're done if they bounce when you touch the tops and/or toothpick comes out dry.

Makes 18 large muffins.

If my husband liked cranberries, which he doesn't, I would have used cranberries instead of raisins. You could also add nuts. Or go crazy and do cranberries, raisins, and nuts. You could also add nutmeg (the original recipe called for nutmeg, not cloves), but I am not a nutmeg fan so I substituted cloves.

Also, the Simply Recipe directions said prep time was 15 minutes. It took me about 40 minutes just to get this all together and into the oven. Just something to keep in mind, especially if, like me, you're not a cook and don't have everything on hand or handy.

Odds & Ends

The DMV

Last week, I had cause to visit the local Division of Motor Vehicles. In pre-Covid times, this was a nightmare. One set aside an entire afternoon simply to drop something off at the DMV.

After Covid, in the now, the DMV has figured out it can schedule appointments. It has learned how to speed things through. 

I was doing something that could have, in pre-Covid days, taken hours.

I was in and out in less than 15 minutes. I made an appointment for 11 a.m. I arrived early. I was supposed to scan a QR code, but it said I was too early. It was 10:47 a.m. The security guard waved me on in, walked me past a line of people to an information clerk who was not doing anything, and she checked me in. She told me to go to Line 21.

I did. No one was in Line 21. The woman asked me if I was number thus and such, and I nodded. I told her what I needed. I'd already filled out the forms. She took care of what I needed, and as I stepped out the door I glanced at my watch. It said 11:02 a.m.

Fifteen minutes at the DMV. Who'd have thought it 10 years ago?

The Dream

The other night I dreamed that I was on another planet entirely. There were other people there; it was a settled world, but it wasn't Earth. The ground undulated from time to time, for one thing, but no one said a word about it. Somewhere off in the distance, these things with tentacles on them hovered off the ground, and they had a big orange "5" flashing on them. Some kind of native animal, I guess.

I apparently had written an article, and something was wrong with it, for I'd been called before the journalism board. They told me I'd written the story wrong, and I hadn't solved the crime. It wasn't my job to solve the crime, I explained. But since the crime wasn't solved - apparently it was a murder - I shouldn't have written the story.

"Then I'll go solve the damn crime!" I cried out (possibly even if my sleep) and I leapt up. I roamed around and found bits of human remains by someone's outdoor grill.

They had eaten Charles Barkley (the basketball player).

That was about the time I woke.

I know that Charles Barkley came from a TV commercial I'd seen that night, because I'd asked my husband who the man in the commercial was and it was he, but I don't know where the rest of the stuff came from. There is no "journalism board" that I am aware of or apart of; maybe if I actually worked at a newspaper there would be colleagues who would lay such charges, I don't know. Perhaps that came from watching Alaska Daily, which is a TV show about a news reporter in Alaska. I don't know what the big flashing orange "5" means, but it was so vivid in the dream - and so long in the background - it must indicate something.

The subconscious mind is a crazy place.

Another School Shooting

I don't know why we can ban the word "gay," ban books, ban drag, ban foods, ban drugs, ban the statue of David, etc., but can't do a damn thing about guns.

Hating on Myself

Yesterday, I hated every possible atom of my being. I hated my hair. I hated the fact that I can't wear makeup anymore because I've developed an allergy to it (all of it, apparently, even the ones supposedly safe make me itch). I hated the fact that I am fat. I hated that I feel like I do nothing (even though I know that's not true, just today I washed 3 loads of clothes, vacuumed the house, went to the grocery store, made the bed, did the dishes, and will fix dinner shortly). It was just that kind of day.

Unfortunately, it's carried over into today, and at the moment it's mostly aimed at my inability to cook well (it would help if I actually enjoyed cooking), because the pork loin I'd expected to feed us for 3 days at least turned out to be inedible. I cooked it in the crockpot the way I always do, but it was tough and pretty awful.

But so help me, I do not find satisfaction in reading recipes, and there is nothing about chopping vegetables or playing with naked uncooked meats that makes me happy or content. The only thing I like to do with food is eat it.

August 20 Happiness Challenge

I ate Chinese food! I haven't had anything but a bland diet since Thanksgiving, but tonight I decided to try some Chinese. It wasn't the best Chinese, but it was sweet and sour chicken and an egg roll, which means fried stuff and grease.

Two tablespoons of Gavascon preceded the meal, but hey. You do what you gotta do. If this doesn't cause me any issues, I'll know I'm finally on the mend from that ulcer!

Being able to eat something besides bland food makes me very happy!

Each day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy. Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world.

A Day of Firsts

Today I baked my first cake completely from scratch.

I am no cook, and I have always used a Pillsbury or Duncan Hines mix. I'm pretty sure that is the way my mother taught me to make a cake, actually. Get the mix.

No mix today. Boy howdy, I went with the flour, eggs, butter and vanilla. I made a butter cake with buttercream icing. It seemed like the easiest thing to try.

It turned out ok. I think it will be dry in a day or two, though, and not moist, because I am keeping it in the refrigerator (do you need to keep buttercream icing in the fridge? I have no idea.). I have a feeling we won't eat all of it because by Monday I will be throwing it out.  But hey, I gave it a go and it turned out ok. There's also the thing that most of my ingredients are old - I don't even know how old. They didn't have bugs in them so I went for it.

I also tried out a new song this afternoon and I think it'll be one I can do, 'cept I need to slow it down a little. It's easy to play, a little more difficult to sing 'cause the timing is just a bit weird. I'll practice it a few times and maybe record it. We'll see. Nobody is watching those recordings anyway.

What else? I think that was it. But cake, icing, and a new song in one day is pretty good.

Grandma's Chocolate Lush

Made the only recipe I have of my grandmother's today since I could not go to California for her funeral.

Besides, with a nuclear winter on the horizon, we may as well all go out eating chocolate.

How to Eat a Cadbury Creme Egg

Just as people argue over the right way to eat an Oreo (twist it and eat the middle? dip it in milk?), or how to hang toilet paper (I'm lucky if the toilet paper even makes it to the roller!), I have an opinion on how to eat a Cadbury Crème Egg.

It is hard to diet this time of year. First, February brings about Valentine's Day, with its boxes of chocolates, and then Easter comes with its vast array of chocolate eggs and bunnies to eat ears from, and other delights.

The best delight of all is the Cadbury Crème Egg, and I can't stay away from the darned things.

Box and Egg

About the Egg

The Cadbury Egg is a creamy chocolate shell that encompasses a fondant that is supposed to look like the inside of a chicken egg. Why people want to eat the raw inside of a chicken egg remains a mystery to me, but the stuff is delicious.

The Cadbury Egg has changed over the years. Yes, yes it has. It is smaller, for one thing. Prior to 2006, the Egg weighed 39 grams and had 170 calories. Now they weigh 34 grams and have 150 calories (does that mean I can eat another?) Cadbury/Hershey's denied this for a time, but finally came clean, the buggers.

A Little History

For another thing, in 2015 Cadbury changed the shell from dairy milk chocolate to plain ol' "standard cocoa mix chocolate." This was especially loathsome in the U.K., as I suspect we here in the U.S. had been eating substandard chocolate shells for a few years anyway.

You see, Cadbury was purchased by Kraft in 2010 (and apparently it is now owned by some company called Mondelez, which I have never heard of, although Hershey markets them in the U.S.). Ah, American industry. Why keep a chocolate egg the same size and taste when you can make a few minor little changes and save, oh, .001 cent per egg? Who cares about quality, anyway? Certainly not the U.S. consumer.

These little lovelies were first created in 1923 by the Cadbury brothers and were mass produced in 1963 as Fry's Crème Egg. In 1971, they were renamed Cadbury Crème Egg.

Today they come in singles at the grocery store, where you can "buy two and get one free" or you can purchase a box of 4 or 5 (depending on what store you are in) for about $3.99 or if you're lucky you can get a box of two for $4.00 during a sale.

What It Looks Like

The egg, at least here in the U.S. is, wrapped in a colorful foil. The words "Cadbury Crème Egg" are in blue with a yellow background. Said background is squiggly on the sides, looking, I suppose, like my scrambled eggs in the fry pan. The remainder of the foil is green, blue, and red, with white on there where the scanning thing is so the store clerk can ring up the purchase. There are also words which I presume to be ingredients or warnings but I couldn't read them if I had to.

A recently purchased Cadbury Crème Egg

How to Purchase

When picking the eggs out of the bin for single purchase, one must be sure the aluminum foil completely covers the egg. I never purchase one if I can see the chocolate sticking out of the foil. (Actually, I seldom purchase the single ones in the bins because little kids can reach it and you know how grubby they can be, with their snotty little noses and unwashed hands. I much prefer to buy a box of them simply for the sake of sanitation.)

Generally speaking, it is easier to simply buy them by the box.



Purchase by the box for sanitation purposes.

How to Eat It

Once the egg is safely purchased, then comes the eating of it. This is not always simple. The foil must be carefully peeled away. You wait breathlessly to see if the egg has leaked, because sometimes that fondant comes oozing out and then the foil gets stuck and you know then that this particular egg, while edible, is not going to be a delight. The fondant, having had air reach it, will have hardened a bit.

Also, it is easy to leave the tiniest bit of aluminum foil on the chocolate, and accidentally swallow it. At that point, it will become stuck somewhere near your larynx, and you will spend the rest of the day clearing your throat, drinking water, and coughing, until the foil finally slides on down (or the scratch it created is no longer bothersome, whatever the case).

But let's say now you have the perfect little egg in your hand, foil unwrapped. The egg has a line around it where it is put together; a seam that indicates that via some technological manufacturing magic, this thing was once two halves. There is also a stamp on it, a kind of star on each side, and lines for decoration.

There are many ways to eat this egg. I have even heard of some people who put them in the freezer because they want the fondant hard and cold, but I prefer mine mushy and warm. These small eggs are, I imagine, little enough that someone with a big mouth could pop the entire thing inside and chow down, but I can't do that.

So I take the tiniest bite from the smallest end, opening up the egg to the fondant. And there it is, the fake innards of a chicken egg, white with a bit of yellow.

I suck out the fondant. Yes, I eat the crème first. This is why I always eat a Cadbury Crème Egg alone.

Once that fondant has been savored, I eat the chocolate in a few bites. It's really a quick process, taking less time to do than it has to write it out.

So there you have it. I will be so glad when Easter is past and these things are off the grocery shelves.

Now I'm a Cougar

Oh, you little dickens. Look what you've gone and done. You've turned me into one of those cougar women, chowing down on the smaller and more helpless.

How the hell did you get in my grocery cart, anyway? Did you grow legs?

First I was in love with that Extra Large Hershey's Symphony, which was bad enough, and now I've gone and become one of those older women preying on the young. Come here, little chocolate. Come on over and see what it is a mature lady has for you, yes? I've got it going, you young 'un, you. Let me show you exactly how it works, and who is boss.

You are the boss, baby. You are chocolate. You are milk chocolate and you are smooth and creamy. You are instant gratification. You are me at the age of seventeen, when I could wiggle my butt and make the boys pant without even knowing it. That age when I could toss out a "come hither" look and wait for the wolf whistle. Yeah, that's who you are. You think you're the king, don't you, baby.

But I'm the older woman in this relationship. I'm the adult, don't you forget it. So get your little ass out of my grocery cart next time I'm in the store. Stop wolf whistling at me, 'cause I ain't having none of it, not me. I am a married woman with a great big behind and I aim to put a stop to that.

And I can't put a stop to that with you hangin' on my every word, now can I? I can't make that big butt disappear when you keep calling out my name, still whispering in my ear every darn time I enter the supermarket. Stop that singing, do you hear me? I am old enough to know better and I demand that you stop that siren song.

No more wiggling that little edge of paper, no more hiding that "220 calories" mark behind some other piece of candy. You show yourself for what you are, you little flirt. Yeah, don't tell me you like me big and round. I don't want to hear that talk, that's for somebody else with a grocery cart. You turn around now, and go on back home to that Hershey's Symphony bar. He'll tell you. I gave him up for good.

You're going next. Yes, you are. I said, yes you are. You heard me. Go on, now. Go. I want to see your behind heading out toward that trash can.

Don't whimper at me. I don't want to see those chocolate puppy dog eyes. Turn around now. Stop whining.

Well, ok. Maybe you can stay overnight. Just this once.

A Mystery Gift

The mailman brought me an Amazon box with a present inside today:

A box of Cella's Dark Chocolate covered cherries. No note, no nothing to identify who sent them.

I have my suspicions as to who the sender might be, but they are thus far unverified.

But it is always a good day when someone unexpectedly sends chocolate.

Thank you!

Cake Decorating FAIL

My friend Diane posted a recipe on her Facebook page recently for a "firecracker cake." It was a Bundt cake with red, white, and blue icing drizzled on it. It looked beautiful, and was even red, white, and blue on the inside. You can see pictures of what I wanted to do here.

I planned to give the cake away.

My husband accompanied me to the grocery store when I went for ingredients. He complained because I don't make cakes for us. Make cupcakes instead, he suggested, so he could have a couple.

I thought about it. I could make multicolored battered cupcakes, I decided.

Maybe I could figure out how to do something with the icing. I'm a creative person. I could be creative.

I made 12 cupcakes. Unexpectedly, I grew tired, something that happens more frequently than I care to admit when I am trying to do something. It is hard for me to stand up and cook for a long time and I suppose I'd had a busier day than I realized.

At any rate, I didn't want to make any more cupcakes.

I looked at the remaining batter. I dumped it into an 8x8 pan to make a small square cake. I thought, well, I could do a small cake and maybe make a fireworks pattern on it. I could make a gift of the small cake if it looked nice.

The cake parts turned out okay except the blues and reds were not dark enough. They were more like pink and lavender. It takes A LOT of food coloring to make dark red and dark blue.

After the cake and cupcakes cooled, I mixed up the icing. It looked light in color, but I personally don't think food coloring is all that healthy for you and I didn't want to continue adding more.

So I proceeded to try to make a fireworks on the small square cake.

In my opinion, it looked like someone had thrown up Pepto Bismal on a pair of thread-bare blue jeans.

No way was I giving that to anyone.

I ended up icing the cupcakes in white icing, blue icing, and
pink icing.

They looked okay.

There was still a little blue and pink icing left. So I spread it over the square cake to hide the fireworks effort.

That looks even worse, doesn't it?

Of course the square cake wasn't leaving the house. The cupcakes, however, did go to my intended destination, and the recipient was just as happy as if it had been a cake, I think.

I also handed out some of the square cake to a visitor, making sure I cut the part that was mostly pink. So there is not a lot of cake here for us to eat, which is good because we don't need to be eating it, anyway.

But there is a little, and the husband is happy about that. I think I made everybody happy and then some, with one little cake.

It even made me happy because I made others happy, even if I did not make a beautiful cake.

So how about you? What's your most recent recipe fail?

Thursday Thirteen

I figure I must be getting desperate when I resort to 13 things inside my fridge, but here goes:

1. Cucumbers from my garden, some of which are shriveling. Earlier this week I picked what I presume will be the last ones for the year.

2. Zucchini, also from the garden, and again I just picked what I presume will be the last ones. I have never picked zucchini from my little patch so late in the season.

3. Fudge that I made yesterday to take today to the Fincastle Library for their book and bake sale. I like to support their endeavors as much as I can.

4. Apples from Ikenberry Orchards. This local orchard has been in business for five generations, and I buy my apples from them instead of the supermarket. The locally grown taste a whole lot better, I must say. I love their ginger gold.

5. Baked roasted chicken from the supermarket. Very tender and tasty. I am dieting so I peel the skin off. I've had a rough week and some days you just don't want to cook.

6. McCutcheon's Apple Butter. This is a family owned venture, too, but in Maryland. They make my husband's favorite kind of apple butter; we usually travel up into the Shenandoah Valley for it a few times a year. That's his last quart (I just noticed he has two of them in there, one needs to be thrown out, I think) so it is time for another trip. I don't know why we can't find it in the Roanoke area, but The Cheese Shop in Stuarts Draft carries it.

7. Cranberry Juice. Just Cranberry, it's called. No sweetener. I have to cut it with a little grape juice to down it, I'm afraid. It's supposed to be good for me. I drink it 4 ozs at a time.

8. Probiotics. Somewhere in there is a bottle of Ultimate Flora, which I take daily. This is supposed to help keep yeast infections away and keep my gut working properly and things like that.

9. Water. I keep a big picture of water filtered with a Brita filter in the refrigerator at all times. I usually fill it at least once, if not twice, a day. It is important to stay hydrated.

10. Fat-free pudding. This is one of my few treats these days. Fat free pudding is 3 points in Weight Watchers. I don't eat it often but sometimes you need a little something different.

11. Fage 0% fat yogurt. I like the cherry kind the best. It is also 3 points in Weight Watchers.

12. The diet Dr. Pepper and the regular mayo belong to my husband, along with the regular salad dressings. The "light" Miracle Whip and the fat free salad dressings are mine. He won't eat "fat free" at all, hence we have two of everything. I won't drink diet sodas; I think that artificial sweeteners are bad for you.

13. Flax seed oil. This is supposed to be one of those "good" fats that people with poor lipid numbers take. I have taken the capsules for a long time and frankly don't see that it helps, so I thought I'd try the liquid form for a while.


Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; there is a list here. I've been playing for a while and this is my 312th time to do a list of 13 on a Thursday.

Holiday Baking

I frequently like to try new things during the holidays. This year I went crazy and tried several new things.

Chocolate bark with pretzels. I also made some with dried cranberries and marshmallow. Fairly easy. I will make the kind with pretzels again, I think.

I decided I wanted to make candy. First I had to purchase molds.

It's a little harder than it looks. After melting the chocolate, filling the molds takes a bit of technique. It took me a few tries to keep from being messy.

Dark chocolate chip cookies. This was the first batch of chocolate chip I ever fixed that didn't turn all that well: I left out a 1/2 cup of butter by mistake.

Fudge. Not a new thing, this is my signature holiday treat. But I am not making as much of this as I once did. I used to make nearly 20 pounds of fudge every year; now I'm down to less than 10.

The candy from the molds. The white or white-colored tasted the best.

Sugar cookies. I burned the first dozen and had a difficult time with the rolling and cutting out. It is a lot easier to just get the Pillsbury dough and make round cookies.

I also made snickerdoodles and butterscotch cookies. During the course of the cooking, I burned up my mixer (a hand mixer) and my husband on Saturday went to Lowe's and bought me a nice KitchenAid mixer. I was surprised. He said it was part of my Christmas. I had no idea that a good mixer could make such a difference in the cooking process, but it certainly does.

I hope that everyone had a good holiday. We woke this morning to snow/sleet/ice. It is still dark as I write this so no photos yet. We'll see what it looks like when the sun comes up.