The Cabin

"The Cabin"

The Ready-Made List

November Sunrise

The list below comes from Mimi's site; she is the peace globe woman. The list has 150 items and the things I have done are highlighted.

So instead of working, I've been looking at this list. Lots of future blog entries on this list, I suspect.

Things I've Done

(The things I've done are in BOLD).

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink

02. Swam with wild dolphins

03. Climbed a mountain

04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive (We stopped at the dealer in Greensboro and touched one, does that count?)

05. Been inside the Great Pyramid

06. Held a tarantula (I kill a lot of spiders every time I clean.)

07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone

08. Said “I love you” and meant it

09. Hugged a tree

10. Bungee jumped

11. Visited Paris

12. Watched a lightning storm at sea

13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise

14. Seen the Northern Lights (They sometimes come this far south.)

15. Gone to a huge sports game (only if NASCAR races count).

16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa

17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables

18. Touched an iceberg

19. Slept under the stars

20. Changed a baby’s diaper

21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon

22. Watched a meteor shower

23. Gotten drunk on champagne

24. Given more than you can afford to charity

25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope

26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment

27. Had a food fight

28. Bet on a winning horse

29. Asked out a stranger

30. Had a snowball fight

31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can

32. Held a lamb

33. Seen a total eclipse of the moon.

34. Ridden a roller coaster

35. Hit a home run

36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking

37. Adopted an accent for an entire day

38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment

39. Had two hard drives for your computer

40. Visited all 50 states

41. Taken care of someone who was drunk

42. Had amazing friends

43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country

44. Watched wild whales

45. Stolen a sign

46. Backpacked in Europe

47. Taken a road-trip

48. Gone rock climbing

49. Midnight walk on the beach

50. Gone sky diving

51. Visited Ireland

52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love

53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them

54. Visited Japan

55. Milked a cow

56. Alphabetized your CDs

57. Pretended to be a superhero

58. Sung karaoke

59. Lounged around in bed all day

60. Played touch football

61. Gone scuba diving

62. Kissed in the rain

63. Played in the mud

64. Played in the rain

65. Gone to a drive-in theater

66. Visited the Great Wall of China

67. Started a business

68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken

69. Toured ancient sites (only if Jamestown and Williamsburg count)

70. Taken a martial arts class (just went once, though)

71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight (I have played Morrowind for more than 6 hours, however).

72. Gotten married

73. Been in a movie

74. Crashed a party

75. Gotten divorced

76. Gone without food for 5 days

77. Made cookies from scratch

78. Won first prize in a costume contest

79. Ridden a gondola in Venice

80. Gotten a tattoo

81. Rafted the Snake River

82. Been on television news programs as an “expert”

83. Got flowers for no reason

84. Performed on stage

85. Been to Las Vegas

86. Recorded music

87. Eaten shark

88. Kissed on the first date

89. Gone to Thailand

90. Bought a house (actually, my husband and I built our house, but close enough).

91. Been in a combat zone

92. Buried one/both of your parents

93. Been on a cruise ship

94. Spoken more than one language fluently (Yo hablo espanol, but not so well now)

95. Performed in Rocky Horror

96. Raised children

97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour

99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country

100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over

101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge

102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking

103. Had plastic surgery

104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived

105. Wrote articles for a large publication

106. Lost over 100 pounds

107. Held someone while they were having a flashback

108. Piloted an airplane

109. Touched a stingray

110. Broken someone’s heart

111. Helped an animal give birth

112. Won money on a T.V. game show

113. Broken a bone

114. Gone on an African photo safari

115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears

116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol

117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild

118. Ridden a horse

119. Had major surgery

120. Had a snake as a pet

121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon

122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours (I suppose being drugged from surgery counts?)

123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states

124. Visited all 7 continents

125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days

126. Eaten kangaroo meat

127. Eaten sushi

128. Had your picture in the newspaper

129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about

130. Gone back to school (several times)

131. Parasailed

132. Touched a cockroach (but only to toss it out the door)

133. Eaten fried green tomatoes (yum! one of my favorites)

134. Read The Iliad - and the Odyssey

135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read

136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating

137. Skipped all your school reunions

138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language

139. Been elected to public office (I'm an appointed official, does that count?)

140. Written your own computer language

141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream

142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care

143. Built your own PC from parts

144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you

145. Had a booth at a street fair

146. Dyed your hair (to hide the gray)

147. Been a DJ

148. Shaved your head

149. Caused a car accident

150. Saved someone’s life

Whew! What a list.

The piebald deer

I am sorry these pictures are not better. These pictures should have gone with this entry but blogger was being contrary yesterday.

The above photo is of the video playing on the TV. The white thing with the head is the piebald deer. Since it was standing staring straight at me, I could not see it's body, which is why I first mistook it for something standing up. Also, it's forelegs are dark while its upper legs are white, and it looked to me like it was waving its arms when it stamped its hoof because I could not see the darker part of the leg.



This photo I took with my new Kodak. No image stabalization means that the digital zoom on this camera is about worthless, although it might work OK with a tripod, which I haven't tried. The ghostly white thing is the piebald deer, standing broadside.



Another picture of the video on the TV.



Finally, a half-way decent shot of the piebald deer moving away from me, broadside.

The mutant who came to visit

As is my habit, at 7:45 a.m. I stood with my hot tea in hand as I stared out the front window at the oak trees Monday morning. This serene site will lower my blood pressure immediately.

Movement caught my eye. A cow, I thought, down in the pasture. But no.

I looked again.

What was that?

I put down my mug and grabbed the binoculars. Zeroing in, I spied a white … something.

A dog?

No.

A goat? What would a goat be doing on my in-laws’ cattle farm? It couldn’t be a goat.

A coyote?

No.

Whatever could this be? Did Botetourt County have its very own Bigfoot? This is surreal, I thought, lowering the binoculars to look again with my naked eye.

The beast, whatever it was, was nearly solid white, with a blotch of brown visible toward its rear. The head was shaped oddly, with two dark ears and a dark nose. It looked all the world to me like some kind of panda bear roaming upright amongst the oaks.

I grabbed my old analog video camera. It sits on a tripod by my desk, ready for whatever I might see. I hustled out the back door, around the corner of the house to the front yard, flipping on the camera as I hurried.

The thing was still there. I got the camera up and found it in the viewfinder. Whatever it was, it was waving at me.

I could see its arms? legs? moving occasionally, a white blur, even in the zoom of the video camera.

I still wasn’t sure what it was. Obviously it saw me. It was looking right at me, if that was indeed its face I saw.

I held my breath, waiting to see if it would attack. When it didn’t, I raced back inside for my digital camera.

By the time I returned, the animal had moved. Now it faced me sideways instead of straight on, and I could see exactly what it was.

It was a deer. A piebald deer, according to Jim Bowman, a wildlife biologist with the Virginia Department of Game and Inland Fisheries. This is a white deer, but not a true albino.

Piebald deer look much like pinto ponies, with spotches. The coloring is caused by a genetic defect that has nothing to do with disease. The same defect can cause a bowing of the deer’s nose, short legs, and arching spine, and a short lower jaw.

About one percent of the deer population has this condition.

Bowman said he has seen such deer in Botetourt before. When he used to work a deer check station in Eagle Rock, hunters sometimes brought in piebald deer, he said.

“It’s just a recessive trait that pops up. It probably isn’t advantageous for a deer, they’re more visible to natural predators because they can’t conceal themselves well,” Bowman added.

My piebald deer wasn’t waving at me or making threatening gestures. It was stamping its front legs in true deer fashion, trying to make me move. But with its short body and odd coloring, it looked to me like I had a monster in the woods.

But no. I only had a visit from one of nature’s wonders, a mutant deer that I mistook for a goat.

The silly season

So last night on the news (channel 10) is video of a fellow punching someone else during the mad dash to get into Best Buy to purchase the latest doohickey. Channel 10 showed at least four different times during the news cast, milking it for all it was worth.

I was appalled. First off I was appalled at the violence, and second I was appalled that 2,000 people would turn out for an early morning sale.

Now I considered going out to Best Buy at that hour, I confess. I was interested in a camera. But I decided it wasn't worth it and ultimately just ordered a camera online.

I don't know what is wrong with people that (a) they would resort to violence over an iPod or whatever and (b) they would get up that early to shop in the first place.

Shopping is not my thing; I do as little of it as possible. I suppose some people really get off on spending their money.

It also seems to me to be a verdict on the state of the economy. I daresay that if the economy was half as good as the government keeps claiming it is, folks wouldn't be out there trying to get a bargain. (And the folks in the daily newspaper story on this wouldn't have been purchasing multiple monitors to sell on e-bay, either, perhaps, although you just never can tell about some people.)

I definitely don't do the Black Friday shopping thing. Yikes.

Christmas Grumblies

Same thing, every year.

"What do you want for Christmas, brother-in-law, sister-in-law, mother-in-law, father-in-law?"

"Oh don't get me anything."

Then we go out and spend $100s on stuff we don't know if people want or need. And wouldn't they be disappointed if come Christmas Day they really did have nothing from us but a card?

Of course they would. Because they say, "Don't get me anything," but what they're really saying is, "You're not important enough to deal with right now, so get off my back just get me gift cards."

I don't see why I can't at least get some *#$@ idea when I ask of the things these people may want or need or desire or whatever. They know they're going to get something, it might as well be something they can use.

And yes, if asked, I give people an answer because I find it so irritating when I don't get one. It might be a book title or a clothes size or something, but I give them an answer. I don't even bother preferencing it with the "don't get me anything" crap because I know they're going to get me something. I am just making it easy on them. It would be nice if just one year they'd do the same for me.

Cheese boxes for everyone this year?

Thankful for

The husband who loves me.
Hearts telling me they care.
Animals that dwell in the fields outside my house.
Nights that are cool that require snuggling.
Knowing that I am loved.
Singing in the shower.
Girlfriends who call to wish me a happy day.
Invitations for a meal that I must sadly turn down.
Visitors for my husband who share his love of hunting.
Incidents to write about that keep me working.
Noises in the kitchen that mean things are cooking in the oven.
Giving thanks instead of complaining.

Turkey Day

So this is the nine pound Butterball turkey I fixed this morning. We, meaning my husband and I, will fill ourselves with turkey over the next four days or so. What we won't do is eat any of this bird today.

That's because we are going to my in-laws for our "proper" Thanksgiving meal. There we will join my sister-in-law, her husband, and two boys. We will all sit around the table nad partake of my mother-in-law's cooking. I don't know the menu but in previous years it has been turkey, stuffing, yeast rolls, sweet potatoes, broccoli casserole, fruit salad, and custard and coconut cake for desert.

I will be taking along some roasted apples to add to the menu.

I just hope I can stand to be in the house. Something is wrong with my in-laws' television and it has an extremely high pitched squeal which they cannot hear. I can hear it, though, and it hurts my ears terribly. My husband can also hear it but it does not bother him so much. I know it is the TV because the noise goes away when you turn the sound off.

If we'd had a better financial year, we'd have bought them a new TV by now. I think that squealing noise has to bother them unconsiously, even if they can't hear it.

I used to not visit them much when we first married, because my father-in-law smoked and I am allergic. He had a heart attack and gave that up, so visiting was much more pleasant. Of course by then we'd gotten in the habit of not visiting all that much. Not that there really is a need to visit; my husband sees his family every single day. They live across the street, more or less, about a half-mile as the crow flies, on the farm. I can see their house out my window if I crane my neck just so.

So now I don't visit so much because the TV bothers me a lot. I can only hope there is no ballgame on that anyone cares about so the thing can be turned off during dinner. Since I am the only one it really bothers, of course no one else really pays much attention to the noise.

Nobody mentioned that these were the kinds of things you deal with as you get older!

Lucky Day?

So the last 24 hours or so of my life have been, well, not dull, but not overly dramatic. Rather routine, actually.

I was hoping for something out of the ordinary. That's because my horoscope for today, as charted at Astrology Zone, said today is the best day of the year for me:

This month is special for another reason - it will bring that magical day I talk about each year: Your luckiest day of the year, due November 21. That day will bring the Sun in perfect alignment to Jupiter, the giver of gifts and luck - always a big day for amazing news and happy developments. Again, Jupiter and the Sun will meet in your house of health and work assignments, the area of your life to keep your eye on.

Well, actually, it says luckiest, doesn't it. I had a mammogram today, and I'm lucky that it must not have shown anything, or they'd have kept me for more X-rays. Plus they gave me a little pink scarf for visiting.

Yesterday I was feeling pretty unlucky. I am still having issues with the rental property, but again, I am lucky that it's nothing I can't deal with. However, I had a spat of anger about something else, and in doing so I cursed someone. I ended up bringing bad karma upon myself.

That's because not long after I made the statements I should not have made, the washing machine decided to show me. It refused to cut off and overflowed all over the floor.

I knew the moment it happened it was payback for all of those bad thoughts. Brought it back upon myself, I did.

So I had to light a candle and do some praying to take away the bad karma. This morning I did tai chi to help bring things back into balance.

This morning I was out early to fetch a part for the washer. Then I went to Vallely View. Many people were out shopping. I wandered around, saw a couple of people I know.

I was on the upper level. I needed to go to the lower level. I had trouble with the escalator in Tanglewood last week; it was stopped, and when I went to "walk" up it, I grew very dizzy and my husband had to help me off.

The escalator in the mall proper was working and I held my breath and stepped on. No problem. Down I went.

Then I ventured into JC Penny's. I got on the up escalator. It stopped about 1/2 way up, with me on it. I immediately grew dizzy and faint. I like to never made me way up the steps, and then I had to stop and put my head between my knees. No one said a word to me and I eventually felt like I could venture outside for some air.

Obviously, I now have a problem with non-working escalators. I think this is very weird.

My husband just attempted to fix the washing machine. It is still broken. Looks like I will be getting a new washer unexpectedly for Christmas.

Not sure how lucky that is, you know?

Concrete Angel

concrete angel
nude sculpture of harmony
shimmer with raw passion,
fiery, like rhythm.
original silhouette of death
my masterpiece, smoking
psychedelic cigarettes.
would you suffer a silent scream,
pained from some rigid impression,
while I'm left alone,
painting in blood?

A golden day

It is a new day. And the start of another year in my married life. We did not celebrate with great gusto, but instead our anniversary was the stuff of quiet mature love and friendship.

We held hands on the couch and fell asleep watching Comic Relief on HBO. No dinner out, no gifts, only an exchange of cards that said we are soul mates on a linear journey through time and space.

My husband assures me we will weather whatever storms are tossed our way, holding hands all the while and comforted by one another. Walking our paths, each with the other.

Love. It is good.

23 Reasons

Tomorrow is my twenty-third wedding anniversary. In 1983, my husband and I swore our devotion to one another in front of a rather large crowd of friends and family on a Friday night at a Brethern church in Daleville. We smooched and then went to a bed and breakfast in Bath County for a two-day honeymoon.

We have weathered house construction, infertility, illnesses, job issues, family problems, and deaths. We have celebrated many good times, loved passionately, and been best friends. He is a blessing to me and a wonderful life partner. He has flaws like anyone, but I am thankful that I can overlook them and see what a unique and wonderful human being he is. He is my life, and I can say that without equivocation.

So without further ado, here are 23 reasons why I love my husband:

1) He loves me unconditionally. He shows me this every day, from the time he kisses me good morning until the time we kiss goodnight.

2) He is a good bed warmer and I love snuggling against him when it is cold.

3) He has large hands that cover mine completely. His hands hold me up without every faltering.

4) He says "I love you" with amazing regularity.

5) He picks up his socks.

6) When I am sick, he tells me to go to bed and rest.

7) He never forgets a birthday or anniversary.

8) He notices when I get a haircut.

9) His lips are warm and moist.

10) He likes to do manly things, like hunt, but he also doesn't mind using a vacuum.

11) He fixes very good cole slaw.

12) When we go out in the car, he will let me drive.

13) He never says anything to me about my weight.

14) When I am sad, he holds me until I feel better.

15) When I am happy, he laughs with me.

16) He laughs at me when I am being silly.

17) He is good with our nephews.

18) He is a good provider.

19) He loves the earth.

20) He is not only my hero, but he is A hero. He is a firefighter. And he looks darned fine in his uniform.

21) He built our house with his two bare hands.

22) He leaves me alone if I need to be alone, and he acknowledges my need for friends. He gives me my space.

23) He has this many great things I can say about him, and I'm nowhere near done.

A true friend

A true friend is the greatest of all blessings,

and that which we take the least care of all to acquire.

-- Francois de La Rochefoucauld (1613 - 1680)

My husband is a real friend.

Last night he received a call from an old friend, someone he's essentially not been "pals" with since, well, since we married. Of course he's married, too, and you know how it is. He has a family, Husband is a husband. They have jobs. Life.

But the boyhood friend called last night in an hour of need. His father died yesterday.

He asked my husband to be a pall bearer.

I admit I was surprised by the request, this call from an old friend at 9 at night. Husband graciously agreed to help without even so much as thinking about it.

Old friends, these two. Old and dear and deeply connected, even if it's been 20 years since they last drank a beer together.

I was deeply touched. This kind of bond, this low but abiding brotherly love, is the stuff of true friendship. Agape love, a minister once called it. Love for one another that goes beyond the physical. A deep and abiding respect for each other. The noblest of loves, it is the principle by which one lives: to love, without condition.

It is discussed in 1st Corithians, Chapter 13. I've heard these passages most often in relation to marriage, but I think they mean so much more.

I think these are truly the words that Christians are supposed to live by. I am honored to be married to someone who truly is a man of God even though he would never consider himself in that manner. I wish with all my heart that more of us, myself included, could take these words and pour them over our souls and live good and true lives.

From 1 Corithians:

(4)Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

(5)It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

(6)Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

( 7)It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

( 8)Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

( 9)For we know in part and we prophesy in part,

(10)but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.

(11_When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.

(12)Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
( 13)And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Last night it was off to CAMS to see the Discovery Corps, Lewis and Clark.

This is an expedition and reenactment of the famous and infamous journey of William Clark and Meriwether Lewis. They have ties to Fincastle in that Clark married a local girl, Julia Hancock.

I will be writing a short article on it for the local paper. Fortunately I was not responsible for pictures, which is a good thing as none of mine turned out very well. The little Nikon Coolpix camera I use just does not perform well in large open enclosures like auditoriums.

When I pulled my pictures up, I spied this shot of the fellow portraying Meriwether Lewis. Lewis was a taciturn and quiet man by all accounts, and he reportedly ended up taking his own life.

The shot to the right caught my eye because of the apparent disembodied head looking over Lewis's shoulder. I just thought it was kind of weird and rather appropriate, given Lewis's character. If any man would be haunting, it would be him, I think. And given the fact that many of the men doing the reenacting, including the man portraying William Clark, were ancestors of the original Corps of Discovery, it seems just as likely that a ghost would be on the stage as not.

Doctors and Dragons

My CT scan yesterday at Community Hospital was a breeze. I worried a lot about it prior to having it done, but there was no need.

I didn't require any kind of injections and I can't recall ever getting in and out of a medical facililty so quickly.

I blame my doctor for my needless worry. Had she been more interested in being a health care provider it would have helped, I think. Instead she seemed put out that I was taking up space in an examining room.

My general practitioner whom I had had for over 15 years retired at the first of the year. No one came in to replace him (they just did hire someone, it took 10 months), and that left his patients hanging. This was a Carilion family practice.

When we (my husband or I) called in right after he left, we were swapped around or dispatched to a nurse practitioner. I have nothing against nurse practitioners for check ups or mundane things, but when I am sick, I want a doctor. (Now we each have "settled" on one of the physicians who practice at this clinic, but it's been a chore just getting to that point.)

When my vertigo/ear issues first hit, I saw the nurse practitioner. When she couldn't help, she sent me to a specialist I had seen before. The specialist was an absolute bozo who told me that the problem was TMJ, not my ear. He gave me an exercise that involved banging my head against the couch, saying try it, but I don't think it will work. I kid you not.

This is not TMJ, by the way.

Then, over the course of two months, with vertigo dogging me so much that I could hardly function, I visited three more general practitioners and another specialist before I ended up with the specialist I now have. And the only way I ended up with someone who at least gave me something that would help, even if I am now questioning her bedside manner, was to call my old retired doctor and ask for help.

When you are sick, jumping through that many hoops to get care is dismaying and tiring. When you need help and can't find it, you despair.

I think the health care system is completely broken. I don't know how it will be fixed. It is tied in with the economy and with finances and with people's personal wealth, so whatever you do, someone will howl. It will take a leader with very strong guts to effect great change.

But the doctors themselves could do better. I don't like feeling like I don't matter. Making a patient feel inconsequential is not what I consider good health care.

I wish the insurance companies would make the doctors have you fill out an evaluation form or else they wouldn't get paid. And then they would get paid based on the evaluation. I think if the money was truly tied to performance, it would help. As it is, why should a doctor bother spending a lot of time with a patient? He gets more money if he speeds us through like we're pigs on the way to slaughter.

I don't know if doctors actually get into medicine to help people anymore. Surely some of them do, but it seems like the money is the first thing they're worried about. So I automatically assume that the money is why they're there.

I now have a GP who will do, but I am not 100 percent pleased. And my ENT will do, but again, I am not entirely pleased.

What would I like in a doctor?

1) Genuine concern and total focus on the patient.
2) Good listening skills.
3) An understanding that the patient has lived in her body and knows when something is "off", nevermind the medical books.
4) Prescriptions that cure, not cover up.
5) Efforts to seek a cure, not the quickest way to mask the problem.
6) Explanations of all procedures and diagnoses when they are tossed out. Don't just mention "Meniere's Disease" and then never explain it, as my ENT did with me on Thursday.
7) Don't suggest procedures that have no relevance to the problem.
8) Don't automatically assume "it's all in her head."
9) A willingness to go the extra two steps it might take to help someone.

I am sure there are many more things I'd like in a doctor, but those come to mind most quickly.

The deer stands by the oak tree
lithe and watchful.
Her pulse pounds as ears twitch
taking in the sounds
of a squirrel bouncing from a limb
a crow cawing in the field
and the dim noise
of my eyes
as they penetrate space and time.

 

The Hunting Season

Today is the first day of muzzleloader season for deer. This means nothing, of course, if you don't hunt or live in the country.

Around here, it is a BIG DEAL. Hunting season defines the autumns.

This means that beginning today, every weekend, and some weekdays, I am the hostess of a hunting camp.

This morning Husband left at 4 a.m. to relieve another firefighter so he could come here and hunt. When I got up this morning at 7 a.m. (you didn't think I got up at 4 a.m. with him, did you?), there were two pick ups in the driveway.

I had to call Husband and make sure one was okay, as it was unfamiliar, but it was another firefighter down to hunt. Good thing because it was too early to call the law.

I heard a shot and later another.

A little later, a third pick up truck grumbled its way up our driveway.

It is a happy time for the men. Not so happy for me because I sometimes get stuck fixing them all lunch.

So today I went out at 11 a.m. and did some shopping. I missed the lunch crowd. Whew.

When I returned, the third truck was gone. But two fellows were sitting in one of the trucks, gossiping. Yes, they were gossiping. Guys gossip. A lot.

The shots I heard were fired by some unauthorized trespassers on the back side of the farm, I learned. I will have to let Husband deal with that as he thinks he knows the culprits.

The two fellows said they were going to sit in the truck in the backyard for a while. "You're not going to see any deer sitting in the truck," I said.

They waved me a way.

Not too much later, I looked out the window in my office. Standing there pretty as you please were three does. I smiled to myself, then went out and knocked on the truck window. "The deer are in the front yard," I said.

They bailed from the truck quick enough, I assure you. I went back inside and watched them sneak around the house to see.

No shots were fired and the does eventually meandered into the woods.

That's the way it will be around here for the rest of this month.

The Health Care System

Yesterday I saw my ear, nose and throat doctor.

This was at her request. She wanted to see me before refilling my medication. I'm taking Zyrtec and Singulair for this weird problem I have with my ear.

My ear gets a full feeling and sometimes I have vertigo. I suffer from motion sickness a lot, and sometimes just a movement of my head can make me feel like I've been riding for hours in the mountains of West Virginia.

The allergy medications help but are no cure. When this first hit me back in February, I went through a series of doctors before this ENT finally gave me a steroid shot and the allergy meds. The other ENTs were all content to say, "you've got something wrong with your ear" and send me home.

But then the ENT I ended up with has been practicing medicine on me since March 31 without seeing me. She saw me one time and then everything else has been over the phone. From a financial standpoint that hasn't been so bad but I have not felt like I've gotten very good care.

What has happened is that no one has looked for any cause or bothered to attempt to explain to me what may or may not be going on. When I tell them that the entire left side of my head, where my ear hurts, has problems with the sinuses staying inflamed, they act as if none of it is connected.

But I think it is all connected. I think that I have some inflammation in my sinuses that is causing swelling that is affecting my ear. That is my theory. But no one will even bother to tell me if such a thing is possible or impossible, scientifically. I am no doctor. I don't know.

It seems to be beyond the medical doctors these days to actually take the time to explain anything. I asked questions and received a blank look. I asked if there could be a connection between my sinuses and my balance and received another blank look. I asked if they could X-ray my sinuses. She said she could do a CAT Scan; did I want sinus surgery? She seldom recommends sinus surgery for an ear problem, she said. I must've looked very confused, because I said, "Wouldn't that depend on what the X-rays show?" I didn't think that sinus surgery was even a point of conversation at that point.

I just want to know if I do have some major inflammation in my sinuses because I think if I can get that calmed down it would help the ear problem. Surely it wouldn't hurt to get it calmed down. Don't you think?

She did not explain what a CAT scan is and since I asked about sinus X-Rays I assumed it was some kind of X-ray. After I left her office I found out it might require some kind of contract dye injection, and I am not going to allow anything to be injected in me. I am having enough troubles without adding stuff that doesn't belong in my body.

I called back and asked her nurse if the dye stuff is necessary; she didn't know. I have to talk to the people at the hospital where they do the testing, she said.

I wish I had an option when I saw the doctor that would allow me to tell my insurance company not to pay them because of poor performance. I think I would use that a lot. Although maybe if doctors knew they weren't going to get paid unless they actually practiced medicine as opposed to capitalistic health care, maybe there would be no need to use that option.

I am pretty fed up and am considering canceling this X-ray thing. I just wish it wasn't scheduled so soon (it's Monday) so I'd have more time to consider all the options.

Ssssssss

Yikes.

This was a pygmy rattlesnake, according to my Audubon guide.

Whatever it was, it was on my front porch late Tuesday evening. It was too cold for snakes and this one had made an effort to get into my house, which of course was much warmer.

Part of its tail was up under the vinyl siding. I spied it when I slipped outside in the rain and fog with a video camera in hopes of capturing images of a very large buck. The fog was such that this was pretty much a wasted effort, but I was rewarded with the snake instead. If rewarded is the right word.

I poked the snake, which was about 18 inches long, with a hoe, shivering and quivering all the while. I try very hard to love all of God's creatures, but snakes and some bugs make that difficult. I did not realize at the time that I might be dealing with a poisonous snake, although of course I always keep that in the back of my mind.

The snake was moving very slowly from the cold. But it was alive. It's little tongue flicked in and out (::shiver::) and it attempted to coil but couldn't quite make it. It's tail seemed stuck in a crack in the vinyl and it took me while to get the snake away from the house. I could tell by the way it wasn't moving that it was going to freeze soon. I felt kind of sorry for it. This reminded me of an old song from my childhood, the lyrics of which are below.

Instead of singing to the snake, I put a bucket over it and waited for Husband to come home. He dispatched of it, and I did not ask him questions as to the hows and whys of his method of disposal.

A SWVA resource

I wanted to give a shout out for lotzothoughts who has created a new search engine specifically for local bloggers.

http://swvablogsearch.googlepages.com

The idea is that if we're all writing about the same topic, say, the elections yesterday, then it will be easier to find what we're all saying. He is going to be adding other features too, so be sure to check it out.

The tops of trees

I just happened to glance out my window Sunday morning in time to see the sun do a dance on the tops of the oak trees and the hillside beyond.

I slipped outside and was startled when a doe snorted at me. She ran and another doe, previously unseen, came from the side of the house and nearly ran over me. I was too surprised to take a picture.

My days anymore seem crammed with work, with effort, and with lots of thought. Sometimes I have so much to do that I am frozen by the knowledge of it all. I am writing five articles (or more) a week, with all that entails, keeping a clean house (having a home office is not a harbinger of good housekeeping, regardless of what certain in-laws might think), trying to stay healthy (very difficult for me), keeping my tax information current, working on a new filing system, holiday shopping, writing a novel, and building a website.

The website has become the biggest burden hanging over my head, with the filing system a close second.

I chose back in October to attempt to build a website and decided to use a specific web-site building program recommended to me by a friend. It cost $300, and I couldn't find any way to build a website and *not* spend $300, so I decided to use this option.

This is a special type of marketing/website building program, and it is set up so that it (a) holds your hand and (b) forces you to do it *exactly* as instructed, without deviation. It comes with more manuals than I ever dreamed possible - I have printed out over 300 pages of information, and have at least triple that saved in .pdf files, with more still out there. So much information that it is nearly paralyzing, actually.

But I have discovered a lot of things while attempting to do this:

• I am not a linear type of gal. If there is a path, I prefer to walk . . . way over there, off the path . . . and see the moss and the leaves.
• I prefer clean, straight directions without distractions. I don't like being constantly persuaded and "sold", especially after I've already made up my mind, and this website does a *lot* of persuading and selling.
• I do better if I can play around with a program and figure it out myself, or have someone demonstrate it and explain it. Video programs and manuals that seem to never get to the point don't do it for me.
• I don't have a lot of patience for programs that don't work without bugs. Some of the software used at this website crashes or hangs up on me so frequently that I have grown to despise it. I can only hope the actual website building software, which I haven't even begun to investigate yet, doesn't do the same.
• If I can find something more onerous than writing a novel, which this has turned out to be, then I will work on my novel instead of the more onerous task. (That alone has been worth the price of the website).

My life is a little confused right now. My directions are many, but all my options are open. Life is open, the doors are open. That can be bewildering. But is also exceedingly exhilarating, and I am not complaining. I am rejoicing in the challenges, and looking forward to seeing what the upcoming year brings.

The Peace Globe Initiative

This comes to me from Tom who brought it from Mimi, who apparently originated the idea of having November 7 be a day that bloggers write about peace.

Since today is Election Day in the U.S., it seems appropriate. When I read of it about a week ago, I put a notation on my calendar: "Blog About Peace."

That seems a bit incredulous at the moment, my thinking that I could blithely set aside a day to blog about something that the world needs more of.

We all should be thinking of peace, in all of its incarnations, at all hours of every day. For I truly believe if enough people want something badly enough, they can make it happen. I truly believe, because I have felt it, when two or more people pray for something, change occurs.

So hopefully today many bloggers will write of peace, and peace will come about.

World peace, of course, is the great desire, but I hold a wish closer to my heart. I wish for peace within families. I wish for each family a peace of the heart so that drug abuse, alcohol abuse, child abuse, spousal abuse - all of those sad and sorry destructive behaviors - go away. I truly believe if each person was peaceful in his or her own heart, then we would indeed have world peace.

So on this day I ask for this peace. And let it begin within my own heart, so that I may forgive.

The top of my head

I called my acupuncturist today to relay a difficult weekend. My balance remains an issue and I have an appointment Thursday with an ear nose and throat doctor. Some of my friends think I need a CT scan or an MRI or some such thing. I am not so sure, but I don't really know what can be seen with those kinds of X-rays.

"If you can be here in 10 minutes, I can do a little something for you before I leave for the day," Nicole said. So I quickly whisked myself into town.

She stuck a needle in the top of my head and sent me home with it. That was several hours ago, and the acupuncture needle sits there still. I am to take it out soon, however.

This is the first time she's sent me home with an acupuncture needle stuck in me, though I was aware she was doing it with some other folks I know who see her. I have some fears about this. What if somebody wants to pat me on the head, for example? Not that that happens a lot . . .

She also put patches which have tiny little acupuncture needles on them on my wrists, in about the place where one of those motion-sickness bands might sit, I think. These are to stay on for a number of days. I have had the little patches before, in different spots, and like them. They seem helpful and if nothing else give me an illusion of having done something.

The other thing I need to focus on, she said, is my food. I have to eat warm foods and keep my belly warm. No cold water, no salads, no oily foods, no greasy foods. I don't eat much of that anyway, actually, although I do tend to prefer my drinks cold.

I do better when I can follow these directions but honestly, I get tired of trying to eat "healthy" and find it quite difficult. It is so much easier to eat a chocolate bar.

Acupuncture affects my energy. Everyone has this energy, but it is mostly invisible in western society. We do not acknowledge these forces we cannot see, but I think it is affected by any number of things. This includes the interactions we have with others, the weather, exercise, the foods we eat, the moon and prayer. I think we can positively affect it but it takes work. There is so much negativity floating around in the air that it is difficult to overcome it.

I have tried other energy moving activities, including Reiki and Zero Balancing. Reiki is gentler and non-invasive; acupuncture, with its needles, does have an invasive quality to it. However, it seems to move the energy much quicker. Zero Balancing is in the middle. It is less invasive but does involve a great deal of touching, whereas Reiki can be done without touching a person at all.

Tai Chi helps me find my energy field. I have reached a point where I can gather a ball of energy and feel it in my hands. This is a relatively recent thing for me, and when it occurs I am elated.

When I was a child, I was so out of touch with myself that I was totally unaware of my energy. The girls used to play a game where they had you close your hand tightly. They would rub your closed hand for a moment. Then they would tell you to open your hand. They would reach into your palm and pull upward. "Can't you feel it? I'm pulling out your spirit," they would say.

I could never feel it then and I always thought I must be weird because nothing was there. I thought sometimes that maybe I just didn't have a soul, since I couldn't feel my spirit leave me.

Today, older and grayer, I can feel my energy.

I can feel my soul.

The bull and the donuts

This is the bull we bought about 10 days ago. He weighs about 1,400 pounds.



This is husband giving the bull his favorite treat.



That would be Krispy Kreme donuts.



He is one happy bull.

Free Hugs - Banned

http://youtube.com/watch?v=vr3x_RRJdd4

I know this video is making the rounds. Free Hugs.

I just wanted to make a note of it here, because it is so important that we be human and humane to one another. That we love and understand and believe in each other. That's the message of this video for me, that we meet on the common ground of humanity, one on one.

Yes, I am a 60s hippie throw-back. Peace, love, hugs. Can't get enough of them.

Outside, Looking In

Brown leaves blow against glass
tap silently for entrance.
Titmice shuffle, hoard beechnuts,
eyes squinting, wary. Inside
a summer cabin safe from snow
and ice, the rocker sways
in winter's draft, unconcerned.
Wolves whine, tails tucked,
and run from the night.

The hearth and ashes heave
with life; the rug lies bunched
in a corner, warm as a cub
in sunshine. A lamp lights
a rolltop desk. On its top
a book lies open, pages
smudged with damp caresses,
the back worn down with care.

The clock chimes time
to twilight, its white face
a somber hour, safe
from outer waters
which try to rust its gears.
At the door, the lock
clasps firmly, holds
when the knob is twisted.
In the wind, leaves
around me, my face tight
against the window,
I stand, guarding empty
havens, outside,
looking in.

A life of pills

http://www.cafeoflifepikespeak.com/Videos/Licensed%20To%20Pill.swf

Great little video.

Fourth Estate Sale

I ran across an article this morning in the San Antonio Current, which is not a mainstream paper, about the media and it's decline as a source of true information for the American public.

Of course this interested me greatly because I write for the local paper, and because I do believe that a free press, unfettered by anything, including the greed of profit, is a true servant of the people.

Unfortunately these days we don't have that, because the folks who own the media are in it for the money, not the truth. Maybe they never have been in it for the truth and maybe it's always been a racket, but I do have an illusion of principle that I hold up there in my head. That principle says, do no harm, tell the truth, do good.

I try to live by that but I don't find that to be the attitude of other people, and that includes other journalists, editors, and publishers.

So without further ado, here is a link to this article. It is in an indictment of the media, not of government, if you're a less-than-discerning reader. (I did have the article sorted out and in my blog, then I block-quoted it and it vanished. I'm out of time now so you're just getting a link, thank you Blogger.)

Fourth Estate Sale

The stuff I write

A couple of readers in the comments asked where other things I write might be found.

Most of my columns published in The Fincastle Herald or sister publications are not online. These published pieces read more like what you're reading in my blog (and sometimes a blog entry serves as a first draft). I write a lifestyle column about, well, life. I write about my wild animals and things that are happening. It is always upbeat, unlike my blog, because I don't get too personal it in or discuss my health issues.

This week I wrote about voting, for example, and urged everyone to vote regardless of party. I also explained one of the Virginia Constitution amendments because it is unclear (Not the marriage one, the third one. It has to do with superfund clean-up sites, only you would never know that if I hadn't told you). But that column will not be online.

I cover the government for the newspaper and write features. This is boring reading unless you live here. I have written for other publications too and I put a few of the more interesting articles on my sidebar for anyone who is interested.

I also write book reviews for The Roanoke Times. Unbenownst to me, one of these has found its way to other places. This recent review of a Sarah Strohmeyer's "The Cinderella Pact" has been picked up by at least two radio stations. You can read the review online here and here. (It's the same in both places.) I had no idea this had happened until I did a search on myself to see what else I might link to for this blog post.

I hope I wasn't ridiculed on the air, but otherwise I think that's kind of cool.

You can find the articles I wrote for The Herald in this week's paper here:

Speed limit on US 460 could go from 55 mph to 60 mph, back to 55, then to 60, back to 55
Supervisors don't like the idea

Supervisors want to take TNDs, PUDs out of zoning ordinance
Two of the county's most controversial land used districts could be taken off the table after public hearings this month.

Cauley asks council to pursue Troutville library after she steps down
Judith Cauley, one of two council members of the Troutville Town Council who has served more than two terms, is resigning effective January 1. She made the announcement during council's regular monthly meeting on October 18.

As you can see, they are just local government news stories. But I really like writing them.