Thursday Thirteen

For your viewing pleasure, 13 miscellaneous photos from our trip to the beach. All photos taken with a Canon Powershot 3, which is my oldest camera.

This is Cherry Grove pier.

A close-up of Cherry Grove Pier from our balcony.

 

 

This guy paddled on this surfboard for a very long way.

 

I always liked this view, with the bend in the earth.

 

A storm coming in.

 

Almost a full moon over Cherry Grove Pier.

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Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; there is a list here if you want to read other Thursday Thirteens and/or play along. I've been playing for a while and this is my 622nd time to do a list of 13 on a Thursday. Or so sayth the Blogger counter, anyway.

Birds at the Shore

We saw a lot of birds at the shore.

This mallard was at the Bass Pro Shop. He didn't really look like a happy duck.

This was his mate.

These are pelicans flying across the ocean.

Seagulls

More seagulls. They gathered in great groups at times.

A Few Days by the Sea

Last week we spent several days in Cherry Grove, SC. That's north of North Myrtle Beach, near the North Carolina line. We postponed our trip a few days because of Hurricane Dorian, but after being assured that most of the Myrtle Beach area went undamaged, we headed down last Monday.

 

As you can see, everything looked rather normal. This end of the beach has developed a lot more than we knew, having not been to the shore in nearly a decade. We were surprised. Fortunately, things were not too crowded and we had a nice trip away from home.

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing

1. Who is your favorite author?

A. I don't really have a favorite. I read a lot of authors. Looking at my reading list (yes, I keep a list), I have read a lot of Janet Evanovich, Juliet Marillier, Tamora Pierce, Adriana Trigiani, Fannie Flagg, Elizabeth Gilbert, Nora Roberts, Lois McMaster Bujold, Sue Grafton, David Baldacci, J.R.R. Tolkien, J.K. Rowling, etc.

2. What was the last book you read?

A. The last book I read was The Money Shot by Stuart Woods.

3. What book reminds you of your school days?

A. Anything by William Shakespeare.

4. What book releases are you looking forward to?

A. The Book of Gutsy Women: Favorite Stories of Courage and Resilience, by Hillary Rodham Clinton and Chelsea Clinton

5. What movie releases are you looking forward to?

A. Downton Abby, but I don't think that's based on a book. The Gold Finch, coming out soon, is based on a book, but I didn't really like the book so I will wait to see the movie when it hits the TV.

6. What 3 books are you planning to read?

A. I am currently rereading the Lord of the Rings trilogy, which is three books. But on my table next to read is Daughter of Smoke & Bone, by Laini Taylor, Mastering Creative Anxiety, by Eric Maisel, and The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, by Mark Manson.

7. Have you ever damaged a book?

A. Not intentionally. I did once break a CD in an audiobook I'd checked out from the library. I paid for it.

8. How long does it take you to read a book?

A. I can read a 300-page book in about six hours, but since my reading at the moment is in fits and starts because of other requirements of life, it can take days to finally finish one.

9. Books you haven’t finished?

A. Hillbilly Elegy, by J. D. Vance.

10. Popular books you didn’t like?

A. I thought Where the Crawdads Sing received acclaim more so because of its title than its story. It was not a bad book but I didn't think it was all that great. I also have only read one Barbara Kingsolver book that I actually liked. She's one of those authors I know I am supposed to fawn over but I just can't.

11. Is there a book you wouldn’t tell people you were reading?

A. Those Shades of Grey things, if I were to read them. I have not read them and have no desire to do so.

12. How many books do you own?

A. I have no idea. I have over 200 in my Kindle. I probably have 500+ still on the shelves. I have been hauling books I've read to the library for years.

13. Are you a fast or slow reader?

A. I am a fast reader.

14. Do you read better in your head or out loud?

A. In my head. I can think faster than I can move my mouth (although some might quibble with that).

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I encourage you to visit other participants in Sunday Stealing posts and leave a comment. Cheers to all us thieves who love memes, however we come by them.

Saturday 9: Straw Hat

Saturday 9: The Straw Hat Song (1955)

Unfamiliar with this week's song? Hear it here.

1) In this song, Desi Arnaz encourages us to laugh and sing instead of concentrating on our troubles. Is this an approach to life you could adopt? Or are you a worrier?

A. I am a worrier. I am one of those people who worry about everything.
 
2) Because Desi's public persona was carefree, people are often surprised to learn his early life was hard. In 1933, his wealthy family was targeted by Cuban revolutionaries. Their home was destroyed and were forced to flee the country. In Miami, they lived in a warehouse and 16-year-old Desi helped support the family by cleaning cages for the man who sold canaries outside a drugstore. Think about your friends and acquaintances. Whose life story turned out to be very different than you originally thought?

A. One of my high school acquaintances, who was in the "A" group, a cheerleader and all of that, and who has since passed away, turned out to have a very different life than I would have expected. In school she seemed to have it all - looks, clothes, etc. But her adult life did not go so well and when I ran into her 30 years later, she looked twice as old as we were and her story was a sad one.

3) While still in his teens, Desi got his first job as an entertainer. As a boy in Cuba, he expected to be a lawyer, not a musician. He only began playing guitar because he noticed girls like musicians and he liked girls. Tell us about a hobby of yours, and what inspired you to pick it up.

A. I play guitar, too. My father and grandfather played, and I followed along.

4) He discovered he was not only a talented musician but a natural leader. By the tender age of 19, he had organized The Desi Arnaz Orchestra and they were performing in Miami hotels. Have you ever been a boss? If so, did you enjoy it?

A. I have been my own boss, and I have been a leader in various civic groups. I don't think I am a good boss. I'm very hard on myself as my own boss. I do okay in leadership positions but I am not keen to repeat the experience.

5) When he was 23, he went to Hollywood to try his hand at movies and met a 28 year old actress named Lucille Ball. In Hollywood back in 1940, it was considered embarrassing for a woman to date a younger man. Their initial attraction was so powerful she quickly got over it. Do you think age matters when it comes to romance?

A. No, I don't think age matters, unless someone is under 18. That person is not old enough to have a clue about life. I married at 20 and that was too young.

6) Desi was the first person to call that famous redhead "Lucy." Throughout her entire life, friends, family and coworkers always referred to her as "Lucille," as she preferred. But Desi insisted on "Lucy." He said that name was his and his alone. Ironically, it became the way the world referred to her. Do you have a pet name for anyone?

A. I call my husband all sorts of different names. I tend to call my brother "Bro" a lot.

7) Lucille and Desi named their son and daughter after themselves. Were you named after anyone?

A. Not really. My middle name could be considered the female derivative of my paternal grandfather's first name, but my mother said that was unintentional on her part.

8) Desi was the founding force behind Desilu. One of the first great production studios of the television age, Desilu grossed $15 million in 1957 (more than $135 million in today's dollars). He credited his success to his unconventional and creative approach to problems. Are you a good problem solver?

A. It depends on the problem. I like to think things through and I like to have a plan. If I were a very good problem solver, then I suppose I would be the force behind some multi-million dollar company, but since I'm not, I guess I am not a good problem solver in that way.

9) Random question: Who annoys you more, a know-it-all or an ignoramus?

A. They're both annoying, but I will go with the ignoramus. That generally is someone who could better his or her knowledge base with a little reading or studying. Ignorance is simply laziness for many people. (I am not talking about people who are mentally deficient in some way. Those people are of course excused.) That said, I try hard not to judge.

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I encourage you to visit other participants in Saturday 9 posts and leave a comment. Because there are no rules, it is your choice. Saturday 9 players hate rules. We love memes, however.

Thursday Thirteen

1. “Success is most often achieved by those who don’t know that failure is inevitable.” – Coco Chanel

2. “If you’re offered a seat on a rocket ship, don’t ask what seat! Just get on.” –  Sheryl Sandberg

3. “You get what you settle for.” – Thelma and Louise

4. "Only those who play to win. Only those who risk to win. History favors risk-takers. Forgets the timid. Everything else is commentary.” – Iveta Cherneva

5. “I always did something I was a little not ready to do. I think that’s how you grow. When there’s that moment of Wow, I’m not really sure I can do this, and you push through those moments, that’s when you have a breakthrough.” – Marissa Mayer

6. “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” – Anais Nin

7. “You can’t outwit fate by standing on the sidelines placing little side bets about the outcome of life. Either you wade in and risk everything you have to play the game or you don’t play at all. And if you don’t play you can’t win.” – Judith McNaught

8. “Do the one thing you think you cannot do. Fail at it. Try again. Do better the second time. The only people who never tumble are those who never mount the high wire. This is your moment. Own it.” – Oprah Winfrey

9. “Saying it is impossible to live without failing at something is impossible. Unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all, in which case you have failed by default.” – J.K. Rowling

10. “Do one thing every day that scares you.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

11.  “When you take risks you learn that there will be times when you succeed and there will be times when you fail, and both are equally important.” – Ellen DeGeneres

12. “If we listened to our intellect, we’d never have a love affair. We’d never have a friendship. We’d never go into business because we’d be too cynical. Well, that’s nonsense. You’ve got to jump off cliffs all the time and build your wings on the way down.” – Annie Dillard

13. “The reality is: sometimes you lose. And you’re never too good to lose. You’re never too big to lose. You’re never too smart to lose. It happens.” – Beyoncé

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Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; there is a list here if you want to read other Thursday Thirteens and/or play along. I've been playing for a while and this is my 621st time to do a list of 13 on a Thursday. Or so sayth the Blogger counter, anyway.

Eighteen Years Later, What Have We Learned?

On this day in 2001, I, along with most Americans, watched a plane crash into the second tower. Shortly thereafter, I watched the towers collapse in a swirl of dust, debris and screams.

My main concern was for the firemen, since my husband is one. I knew they were climbing the steps and making valiant efforts to rescue people trapped inside.

The towers' collapse killed 343 firefighters. It's a number that sticks with me to this day.

In all, 2,974 people died in the attacks that occurred in New York City and at the Pentagon in Washington D.C. That number also includes the passengers of United 93, which did not hit its target but instead crashed in a field in Pennsylvania.

My place of employment closed at lunch time, as did many others. No one could work anyway, not with attacks on New York and Washington, DC on our minds.

I came home and watched footage of the event over and over again. My husband was not at the firehouse, but he was working at his second job installing septic tanks. This was pre-cellphone days, and I couldn't reach him to tell him what had happened.

After a while I came into my home office. I turned on the computer, and I played a puzzle game while the images settled in my mind and I tried to come to grips with what had happened. 

A feeling of helplessness settled over me. I think it settled over much of the nation. For many it hasn't yet gone away - I'm not sure it will, ever. It left many feeling emasculated and I don't believe that has yet been assuaged.

Most of the world stood by the USA while she grieved the loss of her citizens.

Air travel was suspended and the following afternoon I stood with a friend and looked up. Neither of us had ever seen the sky so pure and unmarred by jet trails.

The government used the attacks as a reason to implement the USA PATRIOT ACT, which abolished many civil liberties, including the right to check out what you wanted from a library without being turned into the police if somebody thought it was suspect. Unfortunately, while some of this kind of behavior settled down, the current federal government administration is encouraging these types of activities, particularly where it pertains to immigrants or anyone perceived as "other."

The government also began spying on emails and telephone conversations and doing other Big Brother things. I serious doubt that ever stopped.

The US led a coalition into Afghanistan. That war continues, though it is not well reported. This has become the longest war in history.

The 9/11 attacks are a sober reminder for me of how badly the US government sometimes behaves in world relations, how poorly some citizens of this world think of this country, and how hard our people work, pray, and play.

September 11 also reminds me that all in the world are a part of the circle of life. Everyone, regardless of race, color or creed, deserves a chance to live. That includes bankers in the World Trade Center and Iraqis huddled in their homes during bombings in Baghdad, shooting victims in schools and theaters, and everyone else who is robbed of their life prematurely.

I hope for peace every day and I wish for wisdom in the leaders who hold the decisions for such things in the palms of their hands.

Perhaps one day issues will be resolved without bloodshed and tears, and the world will lose its hatred for one another and embrace love. Unfortunately, I don't see that happening any time soon.

I wish that love, not vengeance and revenge, had been the lesson learned from September 11, 2001. Because for a day or two there, we united as a nation, grieving and striving to rescue those in harm's way, and much of the world stood with us, too.

If only it had lasted.

One Single Rose

My roses failed this year. I think this is the only bloom that came through with any gusto.

Most of the bushes are going on 30 years old and I'm wondering if I need to pull them up and start anew. According to the Great Google, the average lifespan of a rose is 35 years, so mine are pushing it.

Some of these were started by my husband's grandmother, who passed them on to me. I am not keen to lose those, but I also don't know how to start a new bush myself. I don't think I have the patience for it, either, from what I read about how to do it.

Next year I will try to care for them better, and see how they do. If they do not improve, then I will have to figure out what to do about them.

My Thoughts On Sharpiegate

I have seen some silly things come out of the White House and the media in the last several years, but I thought this weird fight about a Sharpie and a weather forecast between #45 and, apparently, everyone else, was about the strangest thing I've ever seen.

It was doubly worse because there was a real disaster off the coasts of the Carolinas and here people were arguing over who said what when. (They were also watching the waves wash away a red SUV, but that's another weird story.)

The truth is, I too saw the initial weather talks that gave a small chance that Hurricane Dorian could pass over Florida and into the gulf and near or into Alabama. Those forecasts were early on and recanted by the time #45 took to the airwaves to offer up  . . . whatever it was he offered up. I didn't see what he said originally. I have long given up on hearing this man be the comforter in chief or do any of the things I used to expect from a president, such as offer empathy or understand disasters in a way that brings solace to people. In all honesty, I wasn't expecting anything from him so I missed what he said.

It wasn't until a few days later that I realized something was going on. In going back and reviewing, the best I can tell is someone noted that #45 was using an older forecast - which is what happens when you play golf instead of keep with the news during a major weather event.

Apparently #45 did not like being told he'd done something wrong, so he has continued (even up into Sunday morning) to tweet about it. In doing that, he marked up a forecast map with a black marker, and Sharpiegate became a thing when homes were being washed away by flood waters.

I know people who think they are never wrong. They never say, "I'm sorry." They are always right, in their minds, even when the facts contradict them.  
So #45 wanted an apology from what he calls "fake news" because the media hurt his feelings, or so it read to me in his tweets. They had nothing to apologize for, as best I can tell. He was using old information that at one time would have been correct but it wasn't correct when he used it.

That's a bit like eating a stale cracker after you've opened the package and left it sitting on the counter for four days, and then complaining because it is stale.

Had he stopped tweeting about it, this would have gone away. But he did not.

Sometimes I think the best thing that could happen would be if the satellites that function to make the Internet work all went down.

My final thought? I don't care about this at all. It's stupid, any way you look at it. There are more important things to be worrying about. I'm just writing about it because I think this is a great example of many things that are wrong with what is going on with not only the presidency but also the media.

Everybody is wrong in this particular instance.

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing

1. What is the most fun thing you have ever done?

A. I went to Disney in Orlando, Florida in 1993. I enjoyed the magic kingdom.

2. Are you left-handed or right-handed?

A. I use my right hand.

3. What is the nicest thing someone has ever done for you?

A. My husband supported me while I worked on my college degrees. He also married me. Kudos to him.

4. What is the biggest animal you’ve seen in the wild?

A. A black bear.

5. What is the smallest animal you’ve seen in the wild?

A. A chipmunk or a mouse.

6. Do you ever have funny dreams at night?

A. No. I tend to have night terrors.

7. If you could make a law for your country, what would it be?

A. I would tax churches.

8. What would you do if you were invisible for a day?

A. Take care of business.

9. If you could be someone else for a day, who would you be?

A. I would be my husband, so I could see what he goes through in a day in order to be more empathetic and understanding of him and his life.

10. What would you like to change about yourself?

A. It would be nice to not be fat.

11. What is your daily routine?

A. I get up, I fix myself hot tea, I read the news on the computer and answer emails, I shower, I eat breakfast and read the print newspaper, then I straighten up the house, then I work on whatever writing project I have going on. Somewhere in there I do lots of laundry and try to walk at least 5,000 steps every day.

12. What would your perfect day be like?

A. Someone would bring me breakfast in bed (with hot chocolate), and then I'd have a long leisurely shower. Then after I dressed I would read all day and not feel guilty about it.

13. How old were you when you learned to read?

A. According to my mother, I was not quite three years old. I was reading long before I started school, I do know that.

14. What is the most interesting thing you know?

A. I know the Preamble to the US Constitution by heart. I also know that I don't know much of anything, which is something most people don't seem to know.

15. What makes you nervous?

A. Life. Well, not life, really. Other people make me nervous if I have to be in front of them. Bad drivers make me nervous. People open carrying guns make me nervous (I leave - how do I know who is a good guy and who is a bad one?). Men in general make me nervous.

16. What is your favourite flower?

A. Iris.

17. Have you ever ridden on a horse or any other animal?

A. Yes. I have ridden a horse and a pony. The pony bolted and threw me, cracking a rib, and after that I refused to get back on any animal.

18. What time do you go to bed?

A. When I am tired.

19. What time do you get up?

A. Usually I am up by 6:30 a.m. if not earlier.

20. What is something that is always in your refrigerator?

A. Butter

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I encourage you to visit other participants in Sunday Stealing posts and leave a comment. Cheers to all us thieves who love memes, however we come by them. (This is my 300th Sunday Stealing.)

Saturday 9: Sweet Escape

The Sweet Escape (2006)

Unfamiliar with this week's song? Hear it here.

1) This song begins with, "First of all, let me say I must apologize . . . " Who most recently apologized to you?

A. No one that I can think of. Usually I apologize. I apologize for everything. Breathing. Moving. Making eye contact. Clearing my throat. Coughing. Being alive.

2) Gwen Stefani sings that she acted like "sour milk on the floor." Is there milk in your refrigerator right now? What about non-dairy creamer?

A. No milk. No creamer. Just yogurt.

3) In the video, Gwen wears several different pairs of stiletto heels. What are you wearing on your feet as you answer these questions?

A. Sneakers.

4) Mrs. Stefani named her daughter "Gwen" after a stewardess in the book/movie Airport. Who was your favorite character in the book you just read, or movie you most recently watched?

A. The last movie I watched was The Hunger Games. I guess Katniss was my favorite, though I liked Rue, too.

5) Gwen is a distant cousin of Madonna's. Are there any performers in your family?

A. My father plays in a band, still (he's in his 70s). My brother sang in the county choir.

6) In high school, she joined the swim team not because she enjoys swimming but because she wanted to lose weight. Are you doing anything (dieting, participating in an exercise regimen) in order to shed a few pounds?

A. I should be, but I'm not.

7) Before she became successful, Gwen worked at the makeup counter in a department store. What was the last thing you purchased? Did you buy it online or at a store?

A. The last thing I bought was a filter for the air purifier, and I bought it online.

8) Gwen has gotten a great deal of publicity for her romance with country star, Blake Shelton. What's your favorite Blake Shelton song?

A. I don't even know who Blake Shelton is.

9) Random question: Which of these compliments would make you the happiest -- to be called fascinating, or brilliant, or gorgeous?

A. Either fascinating or brilliant. I don't care a whit about being gorgeous.

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I encourage you to visit other participants in Saturday 9 posts and leave a comment. Because there are no rules, it is your choice. Saturday 9 players hate rules. We love memes, however.

Thursday Thirteen

1. Many months have passed since I found myself have trouble making up a Thursday 13, but this morning my mind is mud.

2. Mondays are frequently difficult days but Thursdays generally are not, so I'm not sure where my brains are today. Well, I know, really. They're everywhere but here.

3. Monkeys are much like people, it seems. I've been watching Serengeti on Discover and they've had some very intriguing footage of baboons, which are not monkeys, but close enough.

4. Memories are things that make us who we are.

5. Muddled memories make for muddled people, I suppose.

6. My husband is mowing.

7. Microsoft is not making me happy these days. Windows 10 updates all the time. Get it right the first time, you know?

8. Mountains are my first love where geography is concerned. I love the height, the color, the way they reach up and catch the clouds. My Blue Ridge Mountains bring me joy.

9. Mastering something takes a lot of practice. I don't think I've mastered anything. I consider myself a Jill-of-all-trades sort of girls. From using a machete to growing mustard, I have many skills.

10. Mispronunciations plague me sometimes. I am supposed to be intelligent but I also frequently come up with my own forms of malapropisms. Usually I don't mean to it.

11. Meteorologists have hard jobs. Everyone expects the weather people to get it right but weather forecasting is not an exact science. (Actually, I'm not sure anything is an exact science. What do you think?)

12. Miniature items have always fascinated me. I once had a dollhouse that I wanted to fill with miniature furniture, etc., but like I do with many things, my interest waned and eventually the dollhouse was sold at a yard sale.

13. Millions of dollars in homes and infrastructure are being pulverized by Hurricane Dorian as I write this. Weather like that is a good reason not to live along the coast.

This Thursday 13 brought to you by the letter M.

_________________
Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; there is a list here if you want to read other Thursday Thirteens and/or play along. I've been playing for a while and this is my 619th time to do a list of 13 on a Thursday. Or so sayth the Blogger counter, anyway.

Gray Halls

At 7:20 in the morning, the halls of the hospital were mostly empty. But the gray was everywhere.

The walls were light gray.

The flooring was dark gray.

I half expected foggy mists to seep up through cracks in door frames as my husband and I wandered, hand in hand, down the long halls of Lewis Gale, seeking the radiology department.

Why? Because finally my doctor had decided the blood clot in my leg had troubled me long enough to warrant an ultrasound.

So we slipped through corridor after corridor, following signs through hallways that all looked the same.

How boring.

How unimaginative.

How incredibly frightening.

We reached the place we'd been told to go, only to find it was the wrong radiology department (shouldn't they all be together?) and we needed to go elsewhere. This time a woman in black with a white ruffled shirt (just like the other woman's clothing looked as she stood behind the counter - matching outfits, I guess, making the intake persons in this department look like they worked at a hotel) led us down the long, gray halls, pass the flashing red "exit" signs and out into the back part of the hospital.

This completely eliminated the great parking space we'd found at the hospital's front door, because if we had been told where to go in the first place, we could have parked just a few steps away and never seen all those long, gray corridors that seemingly led only to the River Styx and the boat waiting there to take your coin.

Once we reached the right department, the receptionist (dressed in regular street clothes, thankfully, and not the hotel management outfit from the other department), found my name but not the doctor's orders. This meant we had to wait until my doctor's office opened at 8 a.m.

In the meantime, we learned that the receptionist had family who worked in the fire department, people my husband knew, and they rattled off names and retirement dates.

I was on the phone with my doctor's office at 8:02 a.m., telling them I was at the hospital and couldn't receive my ultrasound until they did their paperwork.

This cost us about two hours of time and most of the morning, waiting on the paperwork. I was being worked in, you see, because my doctor didn't like the sound of, "pain that feels like a razor slitting something open inside of the calf of my leg." That, and swelling up to my knee.

The woman who did my ultrasound was named Linda. She was very kind. She was two years older than I and she had been at Lewis Gale for 40 years. She loved her job. She didn't see any deep vein thrombosis (deep blood clot) but could tell there was a superficial one, which is what we'd been treating for all along. It's just taking its time going away, I guess.

After she gave me the thumbs up to leave, I dressed and wandered out, making the right turn out the door as she said. But then . . . gray corridors. Gray walls. I couldn't find my way back to my husband.

I panicked for a moment. When you're lost in the woods, you're told to find a fence or a river. If all else fails, stand still. So I stood still. Finally someone asked if she could help me. "I'm lost," I said.

She led me back to the waiting room, through the endless gray corridors, to where my husband sat sleeping.

I pulled out my cell phone and called the number on the wall behind us that said "complimentary" carting around. It said something else but the word escapes me.

At any rate, we needed carting around. I wasn't trying to find my way back through that maze of gray again.

A fellow introduced himself on the phone as Xavier and said he'd be right over to fetch us.

We walked outside straight from the waiting room, avoiding the gray corridors. The sunshine was welcome. Even the slight humidity and the heat was a relief after being in the cold dungeon-like corridors of that hospital.

Xavier put my husband in the front seat of the red van and me in the back, though I am short and could have used a boost up into the seat, frankly. Then Xavier took off, driving through parking lots all over the hospital campus, telling us about how he used to work for the railroad for 20 years, and then discovering that he knew a neighbor of ours who still works for the railroad. It was like we were old friends.

He finally dropped us off at our car, and we headed for home. The test results were a relief, though I've yet to hear an official word from my physician. The ultrasound lady was confirmation enough that things are simply moving slowly, but in the appropriate direction.

Changes

I noticed it in early August, the dying of summer and the approach of Autumn,

The shimmer of light against pale leaves, leaves that once were thick with green, now letting the sunshine slither through, like sand seeping through a sieve.

Then I saw the poplars turning, their leaves beginning to yellow.

This morning as I drove to an early appointment, I looked at Tinker Mountain and saw that the familiar dark greens were giving way to milder color, muted, less pronounced - almost a gray in places.

Autumn is on its way.

This used to be my favorite time of year, not because of the cooling temperatures (most welcome now), or the colorful trees, but because September signaled my return to school.

Oh how I loved my education. I loved the books, the teachers, the smell of the school library overloaded with young adult fiction. Worlds where horses talked, girls solved mysteries, and toads enjoyed tea and joyrides in cars. Lands filled with inhabitants I could see in my minds eye with each word I devoured.

My teachers, for the most part, were good souls, even the older ones who must have seen thousands of kids offer up excuses for lack of homework. I adored their ability to reach me, to see into my soul, to call out the best of me. Oh yes, I was often the teacher's pet, the A student, the smart one the other kids sometimes hated but secretly admired. Too smart for my own good, book smart, and no common sense.

Or so some folks said.

I don't go back to school now in the fall. In August, when the notebooks go on sale, I sniff my way through the aisles of the box stores, occasionally (maybe frequently?) picking up an 18 cent notebook and placing it gently in my cart. My notebooks must not be bent or torn; I won't use them if they're mussed. Picky, I know. But don't we all have our quirks?

This morning I looked at the big project I have before me, one that would earn me a check-off on a masters' thesis if I were doing such a thing again (thank goodness I am not), and thought of those school days. Those long days in a seat with names scratched into the top of the desk. Those vividly rainbow-colored days when my English teacher captivated me with Shakespeare or Poe. And sometimes a teacher even managed to teach me math, though I could not tell the order of operations now if my life depended on it.

I know though the grammar rules, the "I" before "e" except after "c" and in weird words like weigh and neigh. Knowing the rules means I can break them, because once learned they became part of me, and then my reflexes can take over when I write, and I can be free of the phrases and clauses. I can write as I like, and end a sentence with a preposition.

Here I find my voice, on white pages - computer screens now. It was lost for a long time and sometimes it still disappears on me. Then I must seek again, that voice. That sound of my self, the song of my heart.

Autumn brings on these thoughts. The changing leaves soon will rustle beneath my feet should I take a quick walk, the wind will whirl them around my legs on a cool night.

The change is coming.

The wind speaks its name.