Thursday Thirteen #665

Thirteen nature photos. Enjoy.

And because we can't forget what's really going on, here's a new song from The Chicks. Listen to it. Think about it. Wake up.



What the hell DID happen in Heliskinki?

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Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; there is a list here if you want to read other Thursday Thirteens and/or play along. I've been playing for a while and this is my 665th time to do a list of 13 on a Thursday. Or so sayth the Blogger counter, anyway.

American Nightmare

Riots.
Dead.
Cities on fire.
Statues toppling.
Lack of government oversight.
Deregulation.
No respect.
Loss of control.

Just another day in the American nightmare.

How long has our society been a total dystopia? Apparently a long time - most of my life, I suspect. I couldn't tell you when it began. Perhaps it started the moment Europeans set foot on the continent, bringing with them smallpox and death to the Native Americans who lived here.

Dystopian literature has long been a favorite genre of mine. These stories are about the ends of societies. People know them by their names in books and movies - Mad Max, The Hunger Games, Brave New World, The Handmaid's Tale, 1984, The Giver, etc. Alas, Babylon, by Pat Frank, was one of the first dystopian novels I fell in love with. The story, about survival on the Florida coast after nuclear demise created by unrest in the Middle East, felt real and possible to me then, way back in 1980 when we were dealing with the hostage crisis at the end of Jimmy Carter's presidency.

Walter Miller's Canticle for Leibowitz, which dealt with aftermath of the collapse of current civilization and went through until it collapsed again, also made quite an impression in my younger years.

And here we are in America, living lives of suffering, watching death and economic collapse occur on what is truly an epic scale.

We are now living in The Hunger Games and Animal Farm, and in most of those imaginary worlds. Don't believe me? I can take you to the coalfields right now and show you District 12 from The Hunger Games. Look at Congress, see the pigs we have for leaders, right up to the chief boar, biggest pig of them all, who has his followers believing with every breath that some are more equal than others. Such a total twisting of truths, the bald-faced lies of "fake news," is so 1984ish it is as if I fell into the book.

We are the only nation in this world - this great big planet - with deaths from the Covid-19 pandemic on a massive scale. With no leadership to speak of, with a government completely undermined and dislodged from reality, did we really think we'd find solace and comfort from the enemies within? We have only ourselves to blame for our stolid independence, our devout fortitude, our utter dismal faith that God will keep us, even as we are too stupid to use the minds He gave us to better our own lot.

Instead, we vote in the fools and let the inmates run the asylum.

American Nightmare.

We're the only nation, too, with multiple school shootings. We're the only nation who willingly eats our young in order to maintain our "freedoms" to hold a rifle, and now, I suppose, our "freedom" to not wear a mask and to spread a deadly disease. We'll allow this virus to run rampant amongst our children, letting it chew on their hearts and lungs, before we step back and see if we can do something different.

Will we have the children social distance while they're doing shooter drills every couple of weeks? How is that going to work out, I wonder.

We are trapped. We are caught with a leadership that is negligent, indifferent, irresponsible, and crazy. A leadership that at one moment incites people to violence (LIBERATE VIRGINIA) and on the other hand offers handouts to the very rich who don't need the money.  Give the people $1,200. That will shut them up. Here, big oil, millions for you. You're welcome.

We also have an intellectual class that at some point did not step in and stop this when they should have. I don't know when that was. The 1990s? Earlier? But of course they (I) said nothing. Because how dare we question the status quo, even though it is the most fucked up, evil, and ruthless system on the planet. How dare we!

So we didn't.

Look at us now. For the last 20 years, since 9/11, we have become despicable people. We have more poor, more ill, more desperate people than any other country. We also have more rich. This disparity between rich and poor was created and made worse by a ruthless class of assholes who want theirs at the expense of everyone else. As if Capitalism is a pie, and they want 7/8 of it, giving the rest over to the worthless idiots who can't figure out that the system is set against them from the moment they are born.

Pull yourself up by your bootstraps my ass. American dream. It's a fucking dream alright. It's a goddamn nightmare, is what it is.

Now we have this great divide. Us against them. Who are them? Anyone who isn't us. Skin color, hair color, jobs, political points of view. Religious fealty. But mostly we're a bunch of scared, nervous people who are suffering from terrible feelings of powerlessness, rage, hopelessness, and pessimism. Because honestly, how is this going to get any better?

These internal feelings for white people, especially white men, are, I suspect, relatively new. America has always been a dystopia for black people, for the Native Americans we so casually displaced, for most women - for anybody who stood out and was different and dared to try to actually live that fucking American dream. A few even "made it," if making it is defined by monetary success. Which in America is, after all, how we define everything. Every single damn thing in this country is defined by a dollar bill.

And because dollar bills are what matters, people do not. We do not care about one another. We don't care about anyone who isn't "us," whoever the hell that is.

This is our society today. It goes like this: 

We're the richest country in the world and about 13 million children live in food insecure homes. Over 4 million children do not have health insurance or adequate healthcare. Over 17% of our children live without basic necessities. About 5.5 million reports of physical, sexual, and emotional abuse are made annually.

And what is our response? We cut funding for school lunch programs. Right now, this very moment, the current administration is fighting to do away with the Affordable Healthcare Act, taking it before the Supreme Court in another effort to dismantle it completely. We assume that if kids have poor parents, well, tough luck. Apparently the parents don't deserve decent wages, for whatever reason. If kids are being abused, well, that's a shame, but parents have the right do raise their kids as they see fit. 

What can you do with such apathy? How do you fight this total lack of empathy and human feeling?

We could do a lot of things. We could ensure people have enough money to feed their children with a decent minimum wage. We could have regulations for clean air. We could have health care for all. We could ensure better mental health services, more counseling, better education . . . we could spend the money we spend on the fucking military on our own people instead of on more fighter jets that we don't need.

What we need to stop doing is putting little Band-Aids on big, major problems that require resolve and courage to solve. We need to step up and say, "Fuck this shit. This is enough."

Capitalism exploits us. It is a screwed up economic system that requires people to be poor so someone else can be rich. It has been going on for so long, people don't even realize that the corporations and the wealthy are exploiting them. We're nothing but a power source, a labor source, and if we're all used up, then we are totally and completely expendable.

So sure, die from a virus. If your immune system can't take it, no sweat off of their backs. There are billions of people. They might even have to take in some brown folks to fill space after the white folks all die off, but the corporations don't care. They just want the money anyway.

We have been totally dehumanized, us stupid Americans. We've divided ourselves into human and non-human. We are incapable of doing things other countries - better countries, really - have managed to do and do well. Things like healthcare, retirement, vacations, education, income. Feeling safe in your home, your grocery store, your surroundings. Basic human rights. We don't even know what a basic human right is, except for "pursuit of happiness." And what does that mean, after all, if you haven't any means to reach it?

When I was growing up, I expected to find a job, stay in it, have a good income and a retirement plan. That is all gone. Out the window, blowing in the wind, a pipe dream. My grandfather and father lived it, but he and others like him made damn sure his children didn't and wouldn't. And my niece and nephews haven't even a clue that it existed once, this small taste of security and belonging.

The only people who can walk around safely now live in gated communities with armed guards, like those folks in Margaret Atwood's Oryx & Crake, where they are safe and can be who they want to be. They don't have to worry that there are fewer and fewer jobs out there. They don't care, probably don't even know, that people are making do with less and less. (Though one day it will reach them, too. For all their money, they are not immune. Even the rich must die.)

The rest of us, we have to do for ourselves. And this goes back how far? As far as I can trace it. Racism and bigotry lies at the heart of this dystopia, because it kept us, as U.S. citizens, from becoming truly a single nation, keeping us instead as a country of "them" versus "us." Always. We never built systems to protect and help people, never put things into place to ensure the kind of social safety net that is a basic human right, because we were so busy being concerned that someone else might get "ours" when "they" shouldn't have it, that we have vaulted to the bottom of the first world nations.

We're not even a first world nation now. We're like a fifth world nation or something. Even third world nations don't have the problems we do. They don't have the failing infrastructure, the mass shootings, the total unhappiness that surrounds me every single time I go into the grocery store, when the waves of anger and frustration simply come at me as if I am in an ocean of angst.

I am drowning in that ocean, and so are you. And you. We are all drowning and fooling ourselves that the water we are allowing into our lungs is actually good for us, when in the end, it so polluted with hatred that it will destroy this country and take our children with it.

We have the greatest military. Whoopee. We did not invest in the things that mattered. We did not invest in our future as people. We have become fragile. The coronavirus has shown us for what we are - weak, secluded, scared saplings, ghosts of the people we could have been, had our world been just a little bit different, our minds just a little more open, our lives just a little less filled with hate.

When we are only commodities - and that is all we are, in the end, in a capitalistic society - how could we have expected to ultimately end up with a functioning society? We can't. Because we're too busy now living the worlds created in our dystopian literature, where we each have to protect what little we have because, well, because it's all we have.

We don't even know how to reach out to one another as human beings in an effort to make it better. We watch the protests on TV and see them turn into riots and gasp. Those others! We don't think, don't empathize, don't care.

God, what a sickening society we are. We are the zombies we have been afraid of all of this time. We don't need to look for them on TV.

They are all around us, each of us, dragging our feet, watching our lives waste away, searching for meaning in faux religions and cultish leadership, wanting to eat one another out of fear and loathing.

And now we have reached a pinnacle where fascism is here, its ugly nastiness a jackboot around the corner. We are a vote away from it. Regardless of who wins, it is here, and it isn't going to go away. We will kill one another in the end, if the virus doesn't get us all first.

We have never been a country that understands friendship. We adore ignorance. We don't want to know. We don't want to understand, improve, care, imagine a better world - damnit, we simply don't want to change. We're not friends, none of us. We're just strangers living in the same land, looking askance at one another, wondering not, "How can I help?" but "What do they want?"

Is it any surprise to anybody that now we're watching cities burn? We've got a lunatic with his finger on the nuclear codes.

And us? We are all simply bewildered and horrified.

Suprise!

I call this song, Away. I wrote it about 30 years ago (music and words). I have never played it for anyone other than my husband.

At the time, we were struggling with infertility issues, and I reached the conclusion that I would never have children long before the doctors or even my husband did. I wrote this song around then. I had many things to be concerned about - not having a child when I wanted one, how my husband would react when he finally realized he would never be a father. This is what came out of that myriad of emotions.




Here are the words:

Away
By Anita Firebaugh

There's a photo of you on my wall that I don't recall hanging.
But it doesn't mean nothing at all. It's just my heart filled with longing.

Chorus:

Since you went away, I've spent hours staring into the flames.
People call me, I have nothing to say, except that I'm okay.
And they go away.


I sit around and I wait on your calls. But that phone's never ringing.
So here I am feeling lonely and small while my heart keeps on breaking.

Chorus

In the morning's light, I sit staring at the edge of the night.
Wishing you were here to hold me tight, what wasn't right?
Why did you go away?

I see your face in the back of my mind and my soul starts to quiver.
People say I'll forget you in time, but my heart's crying, "Never!"

Chorus

Won't you come back and stay?

In the Quiet of the Night

I rose around 4:30 a.m. Saturday morning, slipped on my fluffy robe and leather slippers, and softly stepped away from the bed.

My husband snored gently. I left him there.

I wanted to see if I could find the comet.

Without turning on a single light, I found my camera on its tripod in the kitchen and my binoculars beside them, for I had left them where I could easily locate them both before we went to bed. I carried them outside with me, one item in each hand. I set the tripod down and opened the back door.

We'd had a thunderstorm with hail, wind, and rain at dusk. Now the sky was clear. The stars were brilliant, and I could make out the faint crack of dawn across the mountain tops. The half moon hung to my right.

The night sky smelled clean and fresh.

I searched the horizon for the comet. I saw clouds and mist.

Somewhere in there is a comet.

We'd seen the comet around 5:15 on Thursday, but it had been so indistinct I hadn't bothered with photos. 

I thought Friday that perhaps we needed to be up earlier, but it was overcast. On Saturday, I hadn't really planned to wake up, I set no alarm, but my inner curious interloper had awakened me at the time I'd thought appropriate.

The breeze was cool but not cold, and the air was the sweetest it had been in days - I'd not been able to breathe outside well ever since that Sahara dust storm had crossed the Atlantic and found its way across the United States. The rain had cleared the air, and the stars seemed endless.

With my camera on its tripod, I swung it around for a photo of the moon.

Studying our big satellite through my camera lens, I thought how very intriguing it was that its other half was so dark, so indistinct, and so un-seeable. I knew it was there, I've taken enough shots of the full moon to fill albums, but here, at its half-way mark, it looked eerily magical.

My heart rate slowed as I stood there, occasionally pulling the binoculars to my eyes to scan the horizon, searching for the comet, hoping the mist might rise, wondering if I was too early to see it, or too late, even.

A bird chirped. Early riser, I thought, shifting so that the gravel of the driveway poked a different part of my foot through my thin moccasins. I heard a rustle in the leaves, then caught a whiff of skunk, somewhere to my north. Not close, I thought. Just out there, being a skunk, doing its skunk thing.

I watched the bright stars, trying to sort out which was the one I needed to locate the comet, trying to remember the maps I'd looked up earlier in the day. I checked the tree line where we'd seen the comet Thursday, moving the binoculars up, down, and side to side, trying to find the comet.

Mostly though, I stood there and took it all in - this great vast darkness spotted with bright tiny lights, this old world, working hard to shrug us off the planet, finally have had enough of us, and how in the end, we are all simply small and doing our best even when it looks like its the worst thing ever. I wondered if even the really bad people have a conscience, or are they a different species altogether, maybe, some oddly formed chain of DNA that looks like the rest of us but isn't quite, you know, all there, but mainly seeing and feeling the silence, even with the birdsong. 

I stood there with my camera and binoculars, still not finding the comet, for 45 minutes. I was alone but not, what with the sniff of skunk on the wind every once in a while and the bird occasionally whistling a brief tune.

Finally I turned and went back inside. I gave up on the comet. Instead, I found a bit of peace that had eluded me for quite a long time.

Sunday Stealing: Movies

Sunday Stealing

1. Last movie you watched: Green Book

2. Last movie you watched in a theater: Wonder Woman

3. Film you’ve always wanted to watch, but haven’t: Crazy Rich Asians

4. Favorite movie soundtrack: Forrest Gump

5. Your favorite movie duo: Aragorn and Legolas from The Lord of the Rings. (What, you thought I'd say Batman and Robin?)

6. Movie you like because of its story: Under the Tuscan Sun

7. A film that disappointed you: The Hobbit. It was nowhere near as good as The Lord of the Rings.

8. Favorite scene from a movie: The ending of The Lord of the Rings, Return of the King, when Aragorn, now king of Gondor, tells the Hobbits, "My friends, you bow to no one," and he bows down to them, as does the rest of the people there. I always cry at that scene, even though I've seen it at least 20 times.

9. Your guilty pleasure movie: Dirty Dancing.

10. A movie you keep going back to: Steel Magnolias.

11. A quote you admire from your favorite movie: "It is the small things, everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keeps the darkness at bay. Simple acts of love and kindness." - Gandalf, The Lord of the Rings.

12. A movie based on a true story: Green Book.

13. Your favorite actor/actress: I don't really have one.

14. A sequel you’re not a fan of: I thought the last Shrek movie was poorly done.

15. A film you know by heart: The Lord of the Rings (all 12+ hours of it).

16. Your favorite opening scene: I can't think of one.

17. A film that was based on a book and was executed well: The Lord of the Rings.

18. A comedy film: Monty Python and The Holy Grail.

19. TV series you’re binging on now: Stargirl.

20. A TV series you think is underrated: Supergirl. Up until this last season, when it became a bit convoluted, it has had very good writing.

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I encourage you to visit other participants in Sunday Stealing posts and leave a comment. Cheers to all us thieves who love memes, however we come by them. 

Saturday 9: Sunset Strip

Saturday 9: 77 Sunset Strip (1958)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) 77 Sunset Strip was one of TV's early hits, running for six seasons. Before this morning, were you familiar with this show?

A. I had never heard of it before. It's a little before my time, and I'm not a big TV watcher anyway.

2) The show's jazzy theme is punctuated by finger snaps. When you snap your fingers, is the left-handed snap as loud as your right-handed snap?

A. Actually, the left-snap is louder than my right, which is odd because I am right handed. Maybe it is from playing the guitar, which requires left-hand strength to note the frets.

3) The show revolved around Bailey and Spencer Investigations. Stu Bailey and Jeff Spencer were among TV first "private eyes." Who is your all-time favorite TV PI?

A. Sabrina Duncan, played by Kate Jackson, on Charlie's Angels.

4) Their office had "a fancy label," meaning an attractive address, on Los Angeles' Sunset Blvd. Tell us about the prestige area of your neighborhood.

A. That would be the area known as Ashley Plantation. This was once a big farm. In the late 1990s, the land was sold and developers built 40-50 McMansions (like 10-15 rooms) around an 18-hole golf course. The houses cost $500,000 and up. During the Great Recession, I went through and counted over 20 for sale signs. We could see that was going to be an issue - there were rumors of people living in these huge houses with no furniture - long before the recession came. Folks came down from the northern states and found they could buy these big poorly built houses for what it cost to live in a small house up there. But we don't really have the job infrastructure to support that lifestyle. The people who do live there - I have no idea what they do for a living or how they earn enough money to make a house payment. Most people who have been here before Ashley believe that they're using inheritance money to make the purchases, but obviously that's conjecture. It is the premiere subdivision in the county, though.

5) Next door was Dino's Lodge, the real-life restaurant and bar owned by entertainer Dean Martin. Are you a Dean Martin fan?

A. I barely know who he is.

6) The valet at Dino's was Kookie. He was known for his perfect hair, his slang ("ginchy" meant cool, "germsville" was the hospital, "a dark seven" was a bad week) and his desire to someday be a private investigator, like Stu and Jeff. Do you think you'd be a good detective?

A. Probably. I was a good news reporter, and I don't think that investigative journalism is that far away from detective work.

7) Stu and Jeff had a loyal secretary named Suzanne, played by French actress Jacqueline Beer. In real life, she was married to adventurer Thor Heyerdahl, who famously traveled from Peru to French Polynesia by raft. Does 100 days on a raft, sailing the south seas, sound fascinating to you?

A. Not in the least.

8) Clint Eastwood was fan of the show and, in the 1990s, tried unsuccessfully to bring 77 Sunset Strip back. Is there a show from the past you'd like to see "rebooted?"

A. I thought they were going to reboot Cagney & Lacey, and I was interested in seeing that, but apparently it didn't happen. And wouldn't it be fun to see an updated version of The Brady Bunch? Just think of the topics - meth, COVID, drug addiction, video games - endless fun. (That was sarcasm in case you didn't catch it.)

9) Random question: Thinking about the last week, did you nag anyone? Or were you the one who was nagged?

A. Oh, I'm always the nagger. My poor husband had a bad case of gout last weekend and he caught hell over his diet and not taking his medication. Nag, nag, nag.

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I encourage you to visit other participants in Saturday 9 posts and leave a comment. Because there are no rules, it is your choice. Saturday 9 players hate rules. We love memes, however.

Thursday Thirteen

Today, I'm simply going down my Facebook feed and respond to posts that are there, except I'm doing it here. I generally do not react to things on Facebook as it is problematic and I don't like to argue. But sometimes I need to get this stuff off my chest.

1. First up, a headline that religious organizations received $7.3 billion in the loans/funding money the federal legislature handed out back when the pandemic struck. My take? They don't pay taxes, they shouldn't be receiving tax-money hand outs. I have always thought churches should be taxed, and my stance on that has not changed.

2. Next, a story from one of my local stations that says the Secretary of Education "slams" school districts  that plan limited openings, rejecting part-time openings of school districts. My district is one of those that has, at least for the moment, planned a limited opening. My take? I think each district should decide how it wants to handle things depending on the circumstances and the numbers of viral load, etc., which means the planning may have to change mid-semester if the viral overload quickly shoots up. I see this as a public health crisis, not a minor inconvenience that is causing someone to cry over an election. I prefer live children to dead ones, and with the cases here locally skewing downward in age, with those 11-20 suddenly being the ones who have coronavirus, it makes sense to try to keep physical distance efforts at a maximum, not a minimum.

3. A friend has posted a tweet from #45. He indicates South Dakota has a border with California and misuses the word "there." (It should be "their border.") My take? Well, the man is no stable genius. If you have to say you are one, you probably aren't. (Do they not have spelling and grammar check on Twitter? I don't use it so I don't know.) He also congratulates people for not wearing masks. Is he trying to kill us all? *Update: I have since learned this tweet was false and #45 did not actually tweet this.*

4. A quote from a friend about moving forward in small steps. Good advice. Sometimes that is what it takes to get through a day. Take it second by second if you have to. Sometimes I do. Actually, most days I do.

5. Another quote from a friend: "Many years ago, Golda Meir, the former Israeli Prime Minister, once quoted the following:  "One cannot and must not try to erase the past merely because it does not fit the future".  No truer words were ever spoken! God Bless America!"  My take? I presume this is about the removal of Confederate statues and changing the names of buildings to remove Confederate legacy. I say it's about time. The south lost and should have gotten over it about 155 years ago. Removing names does not remove history. We have history books, museums, and family stories galore to keep the "legacy" alive if someone must. Also, why can't God bless the whole world?

6. A fellow blogger and Facebook friends writes: "On alleged bounties, White House targets leakers, not Russia - Two weeks after Americans learned about Russia allegedly putting bounties on the heads of American troops, the White House is taking action. Team #45, however, isn't targeting Russia; it's targeting leakers . . . confronted with allegations that Moscow put bounties on the heads of American troops, the White House is eager, not to punish Russia, but to punish U.S. officials who helped expose the controversy. nbc" - My take? Sounds like something this administration would do. Talk about gaslighting and deflecting. Sheesh.

7. A friend posted "Lowes donated $25 million to help minority businesses reopen. Home Depot donated $7 million to Trump. Go to Lowes." Hmm. My take? I looked it up. Lowes did make that donation. However, the Home Depot donation was years ago, and while Home Depot gives more to Republicans than Democrats, it makes contributions to both parties. I still generally go to Lowes, though. I like it better. So this is slightly misleading.

8. A post about the bubonic plague returning. My take? It's never left. There have always been cases of it hither and yon. I've read about it recurring for years. This year is no different. It just feels like it because of all the other shit that's happening around us.

9. A post from a friend who says she isn't risking her life to go anywhere - except to vote if she must, and she'll wear a hazmat suit if she has to. My take? Good for her. We should all be able to vote by mail if we want to. We receive our driver's licenses and other government-issued items by mail, I don't see why we can't vote by mail. I trust my voter registrar and those who work for them - I know them personally. Distrust in others seems inbred in some people, though. Those folks would call Jesus Christ a liar if he stood right in front of them, brown skin and all. The military votes by mail. If they can do it, I don't see why the rest of us can't.

10. A headline post that says "The White House is hoping Americans will "grow numb" to the Covid-19 Death Toll."  My take? I am keeping score. I will not grow numb to the numbers. I am watching the numbers rise in my little county and I am pretty sure that until they start dropping again, I will not have a haircut, go to the dentist, or leave home without a mask. I think the government officials are guilty of mass murder, frankly, for their total bungling of this. And yes, that includes #45, his adult family members (since they are all "working" for the people at his command or whatever, I have never seen so much nepotism in all of my life), and the vice president.

11. A post about how all the flights in a certain airline are haunted. My take? This is hilarious and probably the best thing I've read so far today.

12. A story from the New York Times about the Supreme Court allowing employers to "opt out" of paying for birth control. My take: I wonder if they can "opt out" of paying for Viagra? I personally see it as part of women's health care and it should be available and paid for with health insurance. After all, no woman asked to be born a woman and it's not our fault we're the ones who carry the babies. Yet men sure love to penalize us for that. Dickheads.

13. A story about a comet that's visible on the low horizon in the early morning hours. My take? Yay comets!

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Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; there is a list here if you want to read other Thursday Thirteens and/or play along. I've been playing for a while and this is my 664th time to do a list of 13 on a Thursday. Or so sayth the Blogger counter, anyway.

Taking Care of Myself

For those who read regularly and may wish to know, my mammogram went fine. I have an abnormality but they are simply watching it. Apparently, it's been there since at least 2014, so I am not worried about it.

Mammograms are an annual endurance test for women, though I admit I had started doing mine every 1.5 years or so. I think it's a lot of radiation to be spewing at your chest on a yearly basis. Still, I think a woman should have one at least every two years.

So go take care of yourselves, ladies. I know it's hard and a little scary right now, but the hospital was diligent about taking temperatures and keeping folks separated.

I Will Never Be the Same

My version of I Will Never Be the Same, by Melissa Etheridge

Pandemic Journal - Day 108

The July 4 holiday passed by uneventfully here at the ol' farmstead. We went up on top of one of the hills on the farm and watched the fireworks all around us.

The moon was full and a beautiful orange, highlighting the revelry of exploding colors. We turned our heads constantly, watching the fireworks explode first to our right, then to our left, then directly in front of us.  It was just my husband and me, and we held hands while we sat in the car. In the moments when the fireworks were silent, the fireflies paved the way as they danced through the hayfield. Each firework boomed or sizzled, sometimes sounding like cannons volleying, and other times sounding like bacon frying. The air soon smelled of sulfur even though we were, in some cases, miles away from the exploding celebrations. I could see the haze of gunpowder across the valleys, the smoke swirling in the moonlight.

Sunday, we spent the day inside for the most part. July has come in hot and humid, with temperatures hovering around 95 degrees. Last week, my husband worked on a septic installation job, and he came in with his hair and shirt both soaking wet every day. Not from rain, but from the humidity.

Tomorrow I go for a mammogram, a follow-up to a visit in November. Allegedly I have cysts, but they wanted me back in six months. That should have been May but they weren't doing things like that then.

When I made the appointment for this, we had few cases. Now we are climbing in numbers and frankly it is scarier going out now than it was back in April, when the cases were in the cities. While other parts of Virginia are decreasing in cases, southwest Virginia's numbers are climbing. We now have 134 cases in Botetourt alone. I remember when I thought 33 was a lot.

My husband is going with me tomorrow even though he can't go in and will have to wait in the car. The appointment should go quickly - I have to call and tell them when I'm in the parking lot before they will let me in the building. I doubt they will tarry. I have to wear a mask, which I would do anyway. I expect they will take my temperature and all of that. I appreciate the precautions. I still find it scary, though.

The temperature of the nation seems like the entire place has Covid-45. People are protesting, still. I think that's been going on for a month. They are still removing statues, and I say good riddance to most of those, although I would have preferred a more orderly removal and placement in a museum or something. It is time those reminders of a lost and loathsome cause are put out of the public sphere. They certainly don't belong in front of the capital building in Richmond.

Our fearless leader, #45, over the July 4 weekend gave doomsday speeches and called everyone who opposed him evil and someone who should be dealt with firmly. It was so Hitler-esque that I personally don't see how others can't see that, but people only hear what they want to hear, I suppose. I'm sure that includes me. I hear evil and others hear greatness. Sometimes I feel totally out of step with my neighbors and my family. But my morality insists I remain true to my heart.

I have been reading a book called The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, by Mark Manson. It has interesting ideas in it, some of which I am trying to implement. I need to stop giving a fuck about a lot of things, but most especially things I have no control over. I wish it came with a workbook.

These remain strange times. At least the aliens didn't land on July 4, although frankly I think that would have been a cool thing to see.

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing

1. Have you ever had a vacation ruined by the weather or did you just work around it?

A. We have had several vacations interrupted by hurricanes when we were at Myrtle Beach, SC. We evacuated and came home. It's rather hard to work around hurricanes and severe flooding.

2. What small changes do you feel people could make to give the planet a fighting chance against global warming?

A. Drive less (that seemed to help while we were all in lockdown), recycle (although I think the US recycling attempts are abysmal), try to purchase things without so much packaging.

3. Are you adversely affect by the weather, such as SAD?

A. Yes. I also get headaches with thunderstorms.

4. How is the weather where you are and have you seen drastic changes in it during your life time?

A. We have much more wind now than I recall as a child, and summer comes earlier. Right now it is hot and humid.

5. Do you think we can stop global warming or is it too late?

A. It's probably too late. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't eliminate pollution as much as possible. Who wants to breathe dirty air? I mean, besides #45, who keeps taking away the regulations on businesses.

6. What could you do for an hour or so today that you would really enjoy doing?

A. Read.

7. What could you do for an hour today that might improve your life in the future?

A. I have some financial figuring to contemplate with my husband later in the day.

8. What could you do for an hour today that could strengthen or improve a skill you would like to be able to rely on?

A. Read.

9. What could you do for an hour today that would make your living space more pleasant to live in?

A. Clean up my husband's office, but I think that would take more than an hour.

10. What could you do for an hour today that would improve your relationships with loved ones?

A. Call somebody.

11. Do you like, dislike, or pay no attention to the wind?

A. I am not a fan of wind. I don't mind a gentle breeze, but strong winds are scary.

12. Do you have allergies or sinus made worse by the wind?

A. I have allergies and the wind doesn't help.

13. Have you ever been caught in a big wind (not a hurricane or tornado)?

A. Yes. In 2012, we had a derecho wind come through here. Many folks lost power for about 10 days,  trees blew over, all sorts of things.

14. When was the last time you flew a kite?

A. Maybe 30 years ago.

15. Would you like to have the power of flight?

A. Not particularly.

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I encourage you to visit other participants in Sunday Stealing posts and leave a comment. Cheers to all us thieves who love memes, however we come by them. 

Saturday 9: You're A Grand Old Flag

                   

Saturday 9: You're a Grand, Old Flag

Unfamiliar with James Cagney's 1942 version of this song? Hear it here.

1) The flag we currently fly, with 50 stars and 13 stripes, was designed by a high school student. When Alaska and Hawaii were added, President Eisenhower invited Americans to submit designs for how best to incorporate the two new states. Ike chose 17-year-old Robert G. Heft's submission from more than 1500 entries. Tell us about a contest you entered and won. (Or really hoped to win.)

A.  I won the Sherwood Anderson Short Story Writing Contest once, and placed second in it another time. The contest was for short stories in the style of Sherwood Anderson, a writer known for some odd works. His most famous book was Winesburg, Ohio. He died near Marion, VA, and the library there sponsored the contest. I don't think they have it anymore.

2) The government also has another of Mr. Heft's designs waiting: one that incorporates a 51st star if another state is added. When you were in school, did you memorize the states and their capitals?

A. Probably, but I don't recall them all now.

3) Six American flags have been planted on the surface of the moon. Those are undoubtedly the flags farthest from you this morning. Where is an American flag flying near you today?

A. I would guess at the county courthouse, one of the cemeteries, or the VFW post.

4) This version of the song was performed by James Cagney in the 1942 classic, Yankee Doodle Dandy. Have you ever seen it?

A. No.

5) In that film, Cagney portrayed George M. Cohan, the composer of this week's song. In 1940, Cohan was honored by with a Congressional Gold Medal. In presenting him with the award, President Roosevelt specifically thanked Cohan for "You're a Grand Old Flag," "Yankee Doodle Dandy," and "Over There." What's your favorite patriotic song?

A. America the Beautiful or This Land is Your Land.

6) Though a performer his entire life, Cohan disliked listening to recordings of his own voice. How about you? Do you like your singing and/or speaking voice?

A. I sing ok but I speak and sing with a nice southwestern VA twang, I'm afraid. I don't like my speaking voice at all.

7) James Cagney won the Oscar for Best Actor his performance as George M. Cohan. Also nominated that year was Gary Cooper, who portrayed Lou Gehrig in Pride of the Yankees. Tell us about another movie about a great American.

A. I don't watch a lot of movies. The only thing I can think of is the John Adams series that was on HBO some time ago.

8) As a teen, Cagney juggled high school with a variety of jobs, including bell hop and delivery boy, and gave all his earnings to his family. Looking back, Cagney was grateful that he had to begin work early, saying, "I feel sorry for the kid who has too cushy a time of it. Suddenly he has to come face-to-face with the realities of life without his mama and papa to do his thinking for him." Do you agree? 

A. To a degree, yes. I know some kids who've had too cushy a time of it and have found the real world to be a challenge.

9) Cagney had a rebellious streak. His boss, studio head Jack Warner, nicknamed Cagney, "The Professional Againster." Cagney joked that he enjoyed earning the title. What about you? Are you rebellious?

A. I don't think so, but others do not share that opinion. Every time I went to report on the supervisors' meetings, someone invariably said, "Here comes Trouble." I know my parents thought I was rebellious.

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I encourage you to visit other participants in Saturday 9 posts and leave a comment. Because there are no rules, it is your choice. Saturday 9 players hate rules. We love memes, however.

Facebook is Evil

Here are the first 15 things I see in my FB feed as I start to write this:

1. An article that says "Anxiety Makes People Clean Obsessively."
2. A political advertisement
3. An article from Bill Moyers that says, "John Roberts is Following Corporate America's Long Time Plan."
4. A post from "Empaths, Old Souls & Introverts" that is a quote about solitude.
5. Another quote that says, "Quarantine ain't over, get back inside."
6. A post from NBC news about the US Supreme Court about a ruling on voting.
7. A political advertisement
8. A picture of somebody's kid drinking a milkshake
9. A post with an article about a church
10. A post from WDBJ7 about a vandalized cemetery in Georgia
11. A post with a cartoon of #45 hugging the Confederate flag
12. An advertisement for masks
13. A post with a quote about parenting.
14. A post from Slate.com about "White Fragility"
15. A post from PBS about how Independence Day should be July 2.

Was any of that relevant to me at that particular moment? No. And the thing is, I will never see that same stuff again. Facebook changes every time you open it, offering something new. 

It's part of it's allure.

I have 582 friends, and of the 15 posts above, two are things shared from friends. The rest comes from media pages or is advertising. None of my friends are unfollowed or anything. Maybe they don't post. But mostly I don't see it. I'm allowed 30 people to list as "see first" and none of those are posts I should see first. My "see first" list is mostly family members and close friends.

Not a single one of those first 15 things is from a family member or close friend.

Facebook is evil. I have been searching for something different, but there isn't anything else out there that keeps me connected to people, that allows me to ask for recommendations, or allows me to see things I might otherwise not see. (I have a twitter account but I don't like twitter. It's just a bunch of noise.)

As a (former) news reporter, being able to connect is important. But connection is not the end-all of life, and I'm starting to wonder if I wouldn't be better off without some of those connections.

For one thing, why do I see an ad every 5th post? That's a lot of ads.

The anonymity of Facebook is a problem, too. Even if people are posting under their own names, they are pontificating out into a space without regard for the people behind the names who might see it. 

People are mean on Facebook. I have blocked a lot of people I don't know. They are people whose comments under articles are horrific. They call names, they are evil, they offer nothing of value. I block them so I never see them again.

Yesterday, I nicely asked someone who was sending me stuff on FB messenger quite frequently to stop. Here's my request and her response. 

Then she unfriended me.

Bye bye. No skin off my teeth, although she might have a hard time explaining to my brother why she unfriended me at some point, since that was our connection. Or not. Who knows.

And yes, it stung a little even though this person did this for no reason but spite, I guess. (This goes back to a conversation I had last week, wherein it was determined that I am a people pleaser and part of the reason I haven't finished a book is because I'm afraid someone won't like it. Or me. And maybe that's true. But this morning the sting of the "unfriend" is gone and replaced mostly with amusement and a bit of a wry, "Fuck you" attitude. I'm working on the latter as a default. Topic for another day.)

Back to my point. Facebook is bad for us. By us, I mean all of humanity. Actually it isn't only Facebook, it's the whole of social connectedness on the Internet. If all we had on the Internet were resources, as if it were one gigantic encyclopedia where we looked things up, then the Internet would be great. But this push for "connectedness" is the problem.

Because the connection has become the value, not the people making up the connection. When humanity is not valued, when we stop recognizing there are people behind the names, folks with real feelings and pain, then we're lost.

Facebook manipulates. It does this solely for the sake of revenue. Facebook's algorithms don't care if a person is good or bad. It sends that person what it thinks the person wants to see. I get weird ads because I am curious about many things and I think Facebook can't decide whether I'm a Republican or a Democrat. I receive ads for both, because I try to read stories from both sides of the fence.

But Facebook and other companies like LinkedIn, for example, are driven by profit. They need us to engage, to like, to click. Every click helps the software understand what we like and want to see more of. This helps them target advertising, and Facebook in particular doesn't care what that advertising is. If someone wants to target "witch haters" there's a category for that, I suspect. If someone wants to target "witch lovers," same thing.

It goes like this: 
I react to a post with a thumbs up.
Facebook decides I like that kind of stuff (kitties, Lord of the Rings topics, guitars, whatever)
Facebook sends me more stuff like that.
The company uses its knowledge of me to send me ads that it thinks I will like, hoping I will click on them.

Because of all of these ads, Facebook is the world's largest marketing company. It can pinpoint, with some accuracy, what a person wants to see and what companies want me to see their product. Facebook makes money from the ad clicks.

Facebook is collecting tons of data every time I open up my FB page, or leave it sit open on my computer. (I refuse to put FB on my phone.)

The only choice I have in the use of this data, really, is whether or not I use Facebook. If I use it, I lose control of the data the minute the account is created.

That leaves tons of personal data, most of which I am not even aware I've imparted, in the hands of a massive corporation that sees me not as human being, but as a data set. I'm just a bunch of 010101s in their eyes, and the way that data is manipulated equals how much money I make them.

Because we live in a capitalistic society that worships money and does not give one damn about humanity, either in aggregate or as a sole entity, Facebook can and will use this data any way it wants to make as much money off of my data set as it can. Never mind if the ads hurt my feelings, or manipulates me into something I otherwise would not have been manipulated into.

If Facebook uses my data for nefarious reasons, it might show me content to try to change my mind on something. Theoretically, it could try to make me fall in line with whatever agenda is most beneficial to it - and maybe that's a political stance, or maybe it's just a lot of ads that Facebook is good so I'll keep using it.

Unfortunately, Facebook has actually experimented on its users to see how people react to things. In 2014, an article published by Forbes described a “massive psychological experiment” Facebook created to test reactions to emotional content. The result? Users created similar content that reflected the emotions Facebook was throwing at them. This is called "emotional contagion." I feel sure they do such tests regularly, and we don't know it.

This means Facebook has the power to manipulate me, no matter how intelligent I may think I am. 

I think this is evil.

The more I am on Facebook, the more exhausting and useless I find it to be. I don't post much, and I try not to post too many political items on it because of my work as a writer.

My last 15 posts?
1. How to watch the "Buck Moon" lunar eclipse
2. A personal post about my heat pump dying and the good service I received.
3. A quote from The Lord of the Rings
4. Sharing of an article about #45's decisions on the coronavirus and how poorly the federal response has been to this pandemic.
5. A quote from the mayor of Edisto Beach, SC, about wearing masks.
6. Shared a post from Carilion Clinic about its "Art as Healing" program
7. Shared a video of a priest dancing to "Oh Happy Day."
8. Posted a photo of my mother on her birthday and suggested folks donate to pancreatic cancer research foundations.
9. Shared a post about Ian Holms' death (he was an actor in The Lord of the Rings movies)
10. Posted a photo about maintaining social distance that I thought was novel.

11. Shared Roanoke Fire-EMS's announcement of my husband's retirement.
12. Shared a survey about responses to the pandemic and mental health
13. Posted a request that people who live around me report to APCO if they were having power outages.
14. Shared a story about how Germany responded to the pandemic.
15. Thanked people for wishing me happy birthday.

I have no idea what any of that says about me, other than I think the US response to the pandemic has been poor (which is obvious to anyone who can read), I like Lord of the Rings, astronomy, and had a birthday.

But all of that can be used against me, somehow or another. I guess a Lord of the Rings hater could come after me with gusto if he/she wanted.

Let's face it. Facebook is bad. It's only grown worse. It's irritating. It is no longer just a place to share stories about pets. I've been on Facebook for 11 years. When I look at my friends list, I honestly don't know who a lot of these people are. Many asked to be my friend when I was writing for the newspaper. Some I went to high school with and have no desire to ever see again.

If I haven't talked to someone in three years, do I really need to see photos of his or her dinner in my Facebook feed? Do I need to know that they are Republican or Democrat? 

It's really better if I don't know, to be honest.

My news feed doesn't do me much good anymore, aside from updates on the weather and occasionally local news. The algorithm has gotten out of hand. Facebook now knows so much about me that it belches out everything it can at me, regardless of my stance on various issues. Since I'm a curious person who does a lot of online research, I see some bizarre things sometimes.

How do I fix this, if I want to stay on Facebook? Sometimes I unfollow someone for 30 days - put them on "snooze" - if they're posting things constantly that I find ridiculous. Or if I realize I don't know who someone is and don't care if I ever see anything from them again, I could unfollow them. I could even unfriend the people I recognize only as names.

Then I'd end up with a feed full of news, I suspect, because I also follow various newspapers and other news media. I used to be a reporter. Of course I wanted to see the press releases of obscure crap when I was writing for the paper. But I'm not so sure I want to see it now. Why did I see a story about the Buck Moon first thing this morning? Because Facebook knows I follow NASA and am interested in eclipses.

So then a valid story becomes propaganda, doesn't it? Doesn't that reinforce my "like" for things not of this earth?

Is Facebook still relevant to me in my life? I don't know. 

I do know I don't want to know that neighbor-so-and-so thinks #45 was anointed by God. That just gives me the creeps and it isn't information I can do anything with. 

I do want to know if my friend fell down and hurt herself, so I can offer to help, or if my local county government has done something that would affect me. Some information is important to me.

But I think most of it is not. Not anymore. Facebook has now tied me to people I'd just as soon not be tied to, really, and I know more about them than I want to know. I try not share too much personal information on Facebook (see above). But of course I do. It's what it's there for. I want my friends (my real friends) to know my husband retired. I want them to know there's a lunar eclipse at midnight on July 4 because I think that's interesting. But politics? Religion? The things we were told not to talk about when we were younger?

Maybe most of that stuff needs to stay where it used to be, between close friends who meet for tea on the back patio on a warm summer's evening.

Facebook is about connections. Sometimes connections aren't good. I see posts all the time with pictures saying "This person did thus and so . . . let's make this go viral." This is to punish the person for whatever they did and I never, ever post those. This kind of thing is how the governor of Michigan ended up with a bunch of white rednecks with AR-15 style rifles in the state house, bitching about wearing masks.

It is how wearing masks became political.

Not all connections are good. When a company creates connections and sees those connections only as data, it can and will do whatever it likes with the information. You can do anything you want to data. You can do things to data that you'd never do to an actual human being.

Maybe it's time to let Facebook go, or let it just be a news feed and not a social connection.