Cupping

Wednesday I visited my acupuncturist in the hopes that she could speed this chest congestion on out of my system. As of tomorrow, I will have been sick for two weeks.

Not only did she use needles, she did a technique called cupping.

Here is a video of it being performed. Not on me, of course.

Apparently Gwyneth Paltrow had this done and showed off her cupping marks at some awards ceremony or something.

Cupping is, essentially, the use of glass jars or cups to draw blood to the surface. This is supposed to free up stuck chi and cure whatever is ailing you. In my case, my acupuncturist used heat within the cups to create a vacuum.

Then she applied the cups.

As a result, I have large bruises across my back at my shoulders. These are pictures of my back that I took last night.






This is a healing technique that has been around since the birth of Christ (or earlier). However, it is one of those old-fashioned things that makes people's eyebrows raise in this country, where all western medical practitioners do is hand people a little poison pill and tell them it will make them well.

We like our illnesses to be sanitized and not messy. None of that icky blood-letting or spitting or whatever for us.

Did it help? That's debatable. I am not much better two days later, although I am coughing up more stuff. I think that was part of the goal. If so, then it has helped.

One thing she did help immediately was my neck. I was suffering from a terribly stiff neck, the result, I think, of coughing so much that I threw out a vertebra. That is incredibly better.

She also sent me home with some very nasty tasting herbs which I drinking three times a day as prescribed. And she told me to rest (I'm not very good at resting.)

Yesterday I felt better than I had in days. So I didn't rest; I worked all day. First I worked on my bookkeeping and brought my personal and business books current and then I worked on articles for about five hours. It was pretty much an eight-hour day.

I don't think I will do that again today; I obviously overdid it.

Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen good things about being sick:

1. Sleeping. A lot.

2. Watching TV.

3. Laying around in PJs.

4. Never putting on shoes.

5. Sucking on lemon drops.

6. Reading.

7. Not worrying (too much) about work.

8. Losing three pounds without even trying.

9. Clean sheets and washed blankets nearly every day.

10. Get well wishes from friends.

11. Vivid dreams.

12. Thoughts of what you'll do when you feel better.

13. Actually feeling better.

John Adams

Last night husband and I watched the first two parts of the HBO special on John Adams.

Adams was the second president of the United States and one of the first members of the Continental Congresses, which approved the Declaration of Independence and began the United States.

The show is well done and we're looking forward to watching the remaining segments. What a relief to have some decent television to watch for a change.

My husband was quite caught up in the show. During one scene early on, Adams was lecturing to a crowd in a church.

"That looks just like that church we saw in Williamsburg," husband said.

"They filmed a lot of this in Williamsburg," I replied, having read that online somewhere previously.

After that, he watched even more intently, searching for buildings and structures he remembered from our two trips to Colonial Williamsburg. He delighted in pointing out the buildings to me.

When the show ended, husband was wound up. "Look at what all they went through," he said, referring to scenes of smallpox. "Look at how little they had. We're a bunch of softies now, aren't we."

I agreed. Indeed, we are quite pampered and toil seems to be beneath us, each and every one.

"We're also getting stupider," my husband declared. He noted how learned Adams and his compatriots were. They knew lots of stuff. Philosophy and religion and the law.

"People today just know what's on at the movies," husband said. "They don't know anything real or important."

It took a long time for him to wind down and go to bed.

The series obviously did its job for him.

Last Week in Review

Thanks to all my readers and friends who have wished me good health during this last week as I suffered with flu or bronchitis or something.

If I had been well, last night I would have attended the Virginia Press Association Awards, where I would have received two third places for my work with the local paper. I am sorry to have missed the celebration.

I am on the mend, but today will be another quiet day of healing.

I spent most of the recent week in bed, feeling too poorly even to read, thanks to a constant fever. Mostly I watched reruns of Little House on the Prairie. And slept.

The Crud

I am sorry to report that I have some kind of nasty bronchial thing and a fever.

Blogging will resume at its normal frequency when I'm better...

Self Improvement

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
by Stephen R. Covey
Copyright 1989
AudioBook read by the author

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff ... and It's All Small Stuff
By Richard Carlson, Ph.d.
Copyright ???
AudioBook read by the author


Of these two books, I liked the second one the best. The first one is very business-oriented, very "get ahead" and "man the torpedoes" - or so it seems on first listen. Some of the ideas are good - create win-win situations, for instance, and listen first and talk second. It is very action oriented.

The second book, on the other hand, is more spiritual, more centered on just being instead of doing. I liked listening to it so well I wouldn't mind owning a copy to have to listen to whenever I like. It's more about lowering your stress levels, seeking spirituality, that sort of thing.

7 Habits - 3 stars
Small Stuff - 4 stars

Thursday Thirteen

I have learned that the Hardwick-Day Comparative Alumnae Research Survey, conducted in October, has released important findings about women's colleges.

Most importantly, women educated at single-sex institutions report greater success and accomplishments.

The survey was composed of 2,000 alumnae (Classes of 1970-1997) of single-sex and co-ed public and private colleges and universities.

I attended a local private women's college: Hollins College, now Hollins University. I consider it the best thing I ever did for myself.

Here are 13 great things about women's universities. I took the good news straight from the Hollins website and added my own comments on some:

1. Women’s colleges’ alumnae are more likely than all other groups to say they benefited very much from good academic facilities and equipment. I love the campus at Hollins. It has old buildings and while they needed upgrading a bit (for ADA compliance, mostly, which I think has since happened), I found them welcoming.

2. Women’s colleges’ alumnae are more likely than all other alumnae to say they benefited very much from a high quality, teaching-oriented faculty. I loved my professors at Hollins. Many were published writers. All were professional and interested in their students.

3. Women’s colleges’ alumnae are more likely than all other alumnae to say their experience often included student presentations in class. I remember a lot of reading things aloud, class discussions, and great activity. Is that what they're talking about?

4. Women’s colleges’ alumnae are more likely than all other alumnae to say their experience often included classes that include the perspectives of women and minorities. Of course being in a women's college it include women's perspectives. At least I hope it did. Minorities maybe not so much. I remember a lot of white girls only in most of my classes.

5. Women’s colleges’ alumnae are more likely than all other graduates to say they benefited very much from an emphasis on personal values and ethics. I learned to be my own person at Hollins. I learned that I have value. It was the greatest lesson I could have learned.

6. Women’s colleges’ alumnae were more likely than all other graduates to be involved in campus publications or student government. At Hollins I wrote for the student newspaper even though I wasn't on campus much. I was a married adult student and I think the fact that someone like that was able to be involved speaks volumes.

7. Women’s colleges’ alumnae were more likely than any other group to complete a graduate degree. I have worked toward my graduate degree but haven't completed it. I do have more education than anyone in my family, though.

8. Women’s colleges receive higher effectiveness ratings than all other colleges and universities for helping students to develop the ability to learn new skills. Because Hollins was *such* an ego boost for me, I would have to say this is true. It gave me the courage to try art, among other things.

9. Women’s colleges receive higher effectiveness ratings than other liberal arts colleges and the public universities for helping students have a sense of purpose in life. I think this was true of Hollins as well. Again, it fostered such a strong sense of self for me. It made me a much better person.

10. Women’s colleges receive higher effectiveness than all other colleges and universities for helping students develop self-confidence and initiative. See above on all the wonderful self-esteem issues that Hollins helped me with.

11. Women’s colleges receive higher effectiveness ratings than all other colleges and universities for helping students learn to write and speak effectively. Hollins most definitely helped with this.

12. Women’s colleges receive higher effectiveness ratings than other liberal arts colleges and the public universities for helping students develop moral principles that can guide actions. Hollins had an honor code in place long before many other places did. I thought it was a good thing.

13. Women’s colleges receive higher effectiveness ratings than all other colleges and universities for helping students learn to relate to people of different backgrounds.

There is more beyond 13 -

Women’s colleges receive higher effectiveness ratings than other private colleges and public universities for helping students learn to think analytically.

Women’s colleges receive higher effectiveness ratings than all other colleges and universities for helping students learn to work as part of a team.

Women’s colleges receive higher effectiveness ratings than all other colleges and universities for helping students to be prepared for their first job and for career change or advancement.

Women’s colleges receive higher effectiveness ratings than all other colleges and universities for helping students learn to be a leader and have a leadership role with their college or university.

Women’s colleges receive higher effectiveness ratings than all other colleges and universities for helping students learn to appreciate the fine arts.

Women’s colleges receive higher effectiveness ratings than all other colleges and universities for helping students learn to be politically or socially aware.

Women’s colleges receive higher effectiveness ratings than all other colleges and universities for helping students to place problems in social and historical perspective.

Women’s colleges’ alumnae are more likely than all other graduates to believe it is extremely important to have the authority to make decisions.

To view the complete survey results, visit the Women’s College Coalition website, www.womenscolleges.org.

A Good Doctor's Office ...

apparently is hard to find.

Today I had an appointment for a follow-up and lab work. In spite of my anathema toward prescription drugs, I do presently take two medications - thyroid, prescribed for me 15 years ago and apparently something you can never stop taking (although I want to try it and see what happens) and an asthma/allergy drug.

The thyroid medicine requires annual blood work, although I have no clue why. My prescription ran out with the last refill and so I dutifully called about two weeks ago and made an appointment. This even though I really dislike going when I know it's flu season.

Today I rearranged my schedule and fasted as I was instructed to do. I don't think you must fast for the thyroid test but I have high cholesterol and the doctor likes to check that all the time. The result is I am "talked to" about (a) having high cholesterol and refusing to take some drug for it and (b) being overweight. You get used to it (the talking to, I mean).

I arrived a bit early, quite chipper (and hungry). Before I could even sign my name to the check-in sheet, a stern-looking soul asked who I was. I cheerily gave my name and date of birth and waited.

And waited.

"Am I not in the system?" I asked, feeling a bit more anxious now.

"You have no appointment today," the woman said.

"Yes I do. I made it two weeks ago."

"Your appointment is for 6/5."

I stood there a moment. June? "No, it's today, 3/5, March 5, not June. My prescriptions run out in March, not June," I replied.

"Well, it says June," she said.

I threw up my hands. I could not help but recall that only two months ago we had to cancel appointments for my husband that he never made that were somehow in their system.

The woman then ushered me around the corner, where another lady looked me up on her computer and muttered something about new software. She then went to another desk down the hall and spoke to someone I couldn't see.

I heard my name. The unseen person went off. "I can't do any more today! I have six people right now, I can't handle this any more, I just can't do this!" the woman sobbed. She really was hysterical.

I don't think it was my doctor but I can't be sure. Which is, frankly, a bit scary to consider. Whoever was having that bad a day should have been at home.

After a few moments of additional conversation I heard the words "get her lab work" and "see what prescriptions she needs."

So that is what happened. A nurse took my blood and eventually someone handed me a prescription for another month for the thyroid medication. It was signed by my doctor, who I did hear say something like "I am really frazzled," as she scribbled on the paper, because I was standing just down the hall watching.

This was only 9:20 a.m. Very early to be frazzled.

Hence, my uneasiness about the unknown person who was having histrionics behind the desk earlier.

Of course, I had planned to see the doctor to ask about that chest pain I have been having, as well as seeing how one goes about stopping medication they have been on for 15 years. That all went out the window.

I really think I would just as soon never see a doctor again. Maybe I would do just as well....

Mary Queen of Scots

Mary Stuart, Queen of Scots
by Alexandre Dumas
Copyright 1995 (?)
Read by Julie Christie
Abridged
6 hours

I have long been fascinated by Mary, Queen of Scots. Mostly this was because when I was about three years old, I allegedly told my mother that I was born in Scotland and was present at the beheading of the queen. My Baptist-raised mother feared I was reincarnated and forbade me to ever speak of it again. I haven't the slightest recall of this but my mother mentioned it to me several times when I was older. Of course she did not write anything down so I must rely only her memory, which was marred by her puzzlement as to how her baby girl could speak of such things.

In any event, the tragedy of this queen has always struck a chord. Lovely and chilling, Mary Stuart was foiled in love as well as in rule. She could not chose a husband wisely to save her life - and ultimately, it certainly did not.

As told by Dumas, Mary's biggest mistake was trusting that Elizabeth I, her cousin, would harbor her safely. Instead she imprisoned her for nearly 20 years and when she finally could she had the unfortunate woman beheaded.

If only she'd gone to France instead of England, the entire course of history might have changed.

I enjoyed listening to this. Dumas obviously took literary license in the tale, creating scenes and dialogue. It was quite entertaining and I greatly admired Mary for her demeanor as portrayed in this book. Even at the end, as she was led to the executioner, she was a stately presence. Would that we all would meet our demise with such grace.

4 stars

Eat, Pray, Love

My book club read this book for the month of February.

We all liked it.

It is the story of a woman's spiritual journey as she heals from a bad divorce and, following that, a failed love affair. She is about 30.

She follows a guru and goes to India. First she goes to Italy where she eats a lot of good food. She is nurturing her physical self. Then it's off to India where she stays in an ashram for four months, learning to meditate and reach her higher self.

Finally she goes to Bali where she falls in love with an ex-pat Brazilian.

Our book club talks generally stray far from the book, and last Tuesday night's meeting was no exception. Our conversation ranged from taking care of mother-in-laws to taking care of ourselves. it is a great book club.

One interesting concept in this book was the idea that every place and every person has a single word that belong to them. In the book, the Vatican was given a word: Power. Other places had words too: sex, money, avarice. The author took a long time finding her word, which, since I gave my book away at the end of the book club meeting I unfortunately can't recall.

I have spent some time trying to come up with my own one word and so far have failed. Several of us made an effort with our neighboring city while we talking - the two that came forth and seemed to stick were "shallow" and "stupid" - apparently we don't have much of an opinion of city leaders at the moment. We attemped our small town and came up with obstinate.

I can easily put a single word on my husband: SOLID. I think that word describes him in all his character.

I think seeking spirtual satisfaction is necessary for peace. I don't think it is done well in the U.S. - it takes time. That's time away from job, from family, from material goods, from the consumer culture. As a nation we frown own that - if you're off praying, after all, you're not contributing to the economy.

I am as guilty of this as the rest - but it is something I hope to rectify. Beginning, maybe, tonight.

Eat, Pray, Love
by Elizabeth Gilbert
about 350 pages

4.5 stars

The Roasting Pan

This morning I ventured to the store and decided chicken would be the meat of the day.

After scanning the selections carefully, I came home with an "organic" bird for which I paid a bit more for the assurance that it was sans drugs and steroids.

This afternoon I prepped the chicken for roasting. As I worked, I couldn't help but think that I was repeating the work of every generation of woman who came before me. Preparing the meat, making ready for the meal.

The differences between me and those many-great grandmothers was methodology - I was using an electric oven, and I didn't have to kill the chicken and pluck its feathers. I suspect they had a harder job.

My imagination went wild with me for a time as I envisioned my caveman grandmother, grunting and struggling to hack at the bird with a knife made from bone. I daresay she did not take the time to remove the fat, if there was indeed any fat on a bird back then. Maybe she simply wrung the bird's neck and cooked it with the head on and didn't need a knife.

The feathers would have been kept for use as something else - a pillow, a headdress, a duster, something. They would not have gone to waste, I am sure.

I created more waste simply getting the wrapping off my chicken than my caveman grandmother ever thought about, I think.

Down through the ages, from caveman to Tudor England to the New World, women have roasted chicken. I think too it was not an everyday meal. The birds would have been precious commodities, valued for laying eggs that provide food every day.

I think about when I watch Survivor on CBS and the winning team gets chickens. Invariably instead of keeping the birds around and eating the eggs every day, the chickens last about two days and are eaten. Usually the rooster goes first and then the chickens are a disappointment in the egg-laying department. Every good country girl knows chickens lay eggs better when there's a rooster around.

I think this is a great metaphor for the impatience of U.S. society. We want our chicken now, gosh darn it, and we haven't the patience to wait for the eggs! So what if we starve tomorrow, today we live like kings!

I think that is pretty much the attitude we have toward sustainability issues - use it up now and worry about tomorrow whenever it gets here. It is not very far-sighted and indeed is very short-sited. How much stronger would those survivor contestants be toward the end if they'd been eating eggs every day? I imagine they would be much better off if they had patience.

I am not sure how I went from roasting chickens to saving the planet, but there you go. Everything's connected somehow.

Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen great things about being a woman:

1. I can bring home the bacon. And work harder to make less. About 70 cents on the dollar less, actually.

2. I can fry it up in a pan.

3. I can never ever let you forget you're a man.*

4. I can give birth to children.***

5. I can sing alto and soprano. And country and western and pop and opera... heck, I can sing pretty much anything I want to. I can even play the guitar.

6. I can cry if I want to.** And not worry too much about the consequences (unless your name is Hillary).

7. I look good in a skirt. Those kilts are so not in fashion.

8. I have that maternal instinct thing going on.

9. I am soft and don't need to apologize for it.

10. I have brains. And lots of them.

11. I look good in men's clothes. Men don't look so hot in feminine garb.

12. I can take one look at you and read you like a book just by taking in the way you dress and the way you carry yourself.

13. I live longer.



* From an Enjoli perfume commercial in the 1970s, I think.

** From a song in the 1950s or 1960s.

*** I can't personally have children, having had a hysterectomy, but this is an all-inclusive list and not just about me.

Hypochondria

I have lately been experiencing weird sensations about the chest. I am pretty sure this is because I have pulled a chest muscle lifting weights. My acupuncturist has hypothesized that it could be, at least in part, from a problem I have had with my back for several weeks (a slipping rib or disk). A pinched nerve kind of thing, she suggested, because my arm feels a lot like I've bumped my elbow.

But because of the location of the pain, and because the commercials on TV are always advocating various illnesses in the pharmaceutical industry's efforts to sell more drugs, I immediately think I am having a heart attack when it hurts.

This makes me very nervous which makes my heart race, which makes me even more nervous.

I know I am stressed because I have been working hard. I have written 62 articles since January 1; this is the 56th day of the year. That is more than one article a day, or at least 1,000 words a day every day, including weekends.

That's difficult to sustain without some kind of burnout.

So I think I'm in a self-fulfilling prophecy sort of thing. I was exercising to relieve the stress of working too much; the boo-boo from exercising is adding to the stress.

I am 90 percent sure the pain isn't my heart; it's the other 10 percent of me that I am unable to convince.

It is no wonder many people race to the doctor when any little thing goes wrong. We are told to do this with every bottle of aspirin, with every bottle of vitamins, with every exercise video. Do nothing without your doctor's OK. As if this person with the MD is some god who can ordain how we live our life, a being who knows better than ourselves what our body can and cannot do or withstand.

My mother hauled me to the doctor for every little thing. I am not so sure she wasn't one of those mothers who create hysteria and illnesses in their children in order to see the doctor for whatever reason, because I certainly spent a lot of time in the doctor's office. I was given every new drug to come along, or so it seemed.

My body was filled with antibiotics and steroids before the age of 10. I had terrible allergies and problems with my left knee that required cortisone shots. Prednisone was the drug for my poison oak and poison ivy. Keflex was the antibiotic of choice for me for a long time; Benedryl was a constant friend.

I once made for my acupuncturist a list of drugs I could remember having taken at some point in my life. There were 44 different drugs on it. I did not take them all at once, mind you, but at some point all of these poisons (and that is what they are, I now know), were put in my system.

I continued the pattern of doctor visits well until my 30s. It took me that long to realize I was in charge of my body and my health care. I was 40 before I really took control. By that time the damage was tremendous.

Now I try desperately *not* to go to the doctor unless I really must. Doctors scare me with their pill-pushing, invasive X-rays, low-fat diets that don't take my food allergies into consideration, inconsistencies, and their inability to deal with wellness instead of illness.

My husband, who is seldom sick, does not understand my change of mind about the health care system. He blames it on my mother's death, the problems we had with her care, the fact that nothing they did saved her but instead made things worse as terminal cancer slowly ate away at her.

Perhaps that has something to do with it. But I prefer to think I am smarter, more savvy, more interested in being well than in being sick. Less sucked into the system.

I have been healthier in the last three years than at any time in my life. Is it because I see the doctor less? Eat better? Exercise? See an acupuncturist? All of the above?

When I watch TV and the ads come on for various drugs - Ask your Doctor about Liptor, Prilosec, Prevacid, the purple pill, the one for bladder control and the other for restless leg syndrome - I cringe at the list of side effects. May cause bleeding, ulcers, black tongue, dry eyes, confusion, dizziness, irritability, swelling in the hands, and death. Among other things.

And we're supposed to go ask our doctors about this?

There will come a time as I age that I will be on more drugs. I will have no choice but to enter the system again, against my will, while they prop me up with drugs for whatever is ailing me at that time. They will feed me poorly prepared processed food which will slowly kill me, along with the poisonous drugs.

All in the name of saving me, amen.

Until then, I hope I can stand firm against my own fears, against the desires of the very sick health care system that is ruining the citizens of this wonderful country, and against the concerns of my husband who wants me to see a doctor because he's worried.

It is a very hard thing to do.

No Smoking Restaurants

The other day my husband and I set out to have dinner. We could not come up with too many restaurants locally that are entirely smoke-free.

We ended up at K&W Cafeteria for our Valentine's celebration, because I was not in the mood to inhale second hand smoke and we couldn't think of another completely smoke free restaurant in the Hershberger area.

Many restaurants have a smoking section, but let's face it. Those don't work. The smoke wafts over and you smell like you're the one inhaling tar and nicotine regardless of how far away you sit.

I looked for a list of smoke free restaurants in the area on the Internet but could not find one.

So I am making my own list. Please contribute if you know for sure a restaurant is smoke free.

Most that I know about are close to home. I am pretty clueless about restaurants in Roanoke. I do not eat out a lot; smoking sections are the reason why.

Smoke Free

Three Little Pigs (Daleville)
Country Cookin' (Daleville)
Bellacino's (Daleville)
IHOP (Roanoke)
K&W Cafeteria (Roanoke)
Pizza Hut (Daleville)
Harbor Inn Seafood (Roanoke)*
Famous Anthony's (all locations, I think)*
Pizza Hut (Hershberger Road)*
Pete's Deli (Town Squre Blvd)*
Jersey Lilly's (Rt 460, I think is non-smoking)*


Smoking section

Cracker Barrel (Troutville)
Shoney's (Troutville)
O'Charley's (Roanoke)
Shaker's (Roanoke)
Coach & Four (Roanoke)
Shang-Hi (Salem)
Logan's @ Valley View*
Texas Steakhouse @ Valley View*

Everything else?
Others? Recommendations?


* Added after original post*

Administrative

I am having problems with Blogger. I lost my spell check for several weeks. That was frustrating.

Upon its return, I find I am having problems accessing the page elements/layout.

When I finally did get it to work briefly this morning, I managed to add Jen's Bike Blog, House on Glade Hill and Going Crunchy to my links listings. And then it stopped being cooperative again.

At any rate, if you'd like to exchange blog links, just let me know and I will be glad to add you to my readers list, once the thing is working properly again.

Books: The Hornet's Next

The Hornet's Next
By Jimmy Carter (yes, the president)
Copyright 2003
Read by Edward Herrmann
Abridged



This historical fiction was a surprise. When I picked it up at the library, my first thought was "how bad is THIS going to be."

I enjoyed listening to it. The reader did a good job. And while the book was short on character and long on events and read a lot like a history book, it was an entertaining account of the American Revolution as it took place in Georgia and the Carolinas.

The book follows characters from both sides; neither are treated with kid gloves or favoritism.

I understand some of the characters are based on Carter's ancestors.


3 stars

Thanks, June

June over at Spatter last week gave my blog an excellence award, for which I am very thankful.

I am just now acknowledging it because I have been incredibly busy with work. I managed a few blog entries lately because of time constraints, but my mind was full of things I wanted to write.

Finally, I began making a list of potential blog entries, because I couldn't find the time to write the entries.

Today was the first day I've had a chance to visit my blog friends and try to catch up. I missed my near-daily visits to see some of you!

Anyway, I will pass on this honor to Jeff, Ms. E., Kitty at AROO and Becky at Peevish Pen. There are others I read who are worthy; June already tagged many of the blogs I take peeks at and I like to spread the love.

Primary Opinions

Last week when I went to vote in Virginia's primary elections, I could not help but wonder what my mother would have thought of Hillary Clinton's run for the presidency.

While I see it as a historic and momentous time in the history of women, a history that shows how little women matter (even today) simply because of the lack of women in the annals of time, I think my mother would see something else.

My mother was not a "wimmin's libber" and was disdainful of those who fought to progress the status of women. This in spite of the fact that my mother left home every day at 7:15 a.m. and returned around 6 p.m.

She worked for a Salem manufacturing company. She took her first and only job when she was 16.

She was a file clerk.

Mom was one of two women who worked in the company for a long time; the other was an executive secretary. She started out part time. She was working there on the day I was born.

I am not sure when she went full time, but I think it was before I started school. At some point they hired a third woman to work in the office.

Over the years my mother complained bitterly about her job, about the lack of respect that she had from the men in the office, about the lack of respect she had from my father, about her inability to move upward or even out of the place she found herself.

When I was teenager I remember her talking about an opening for a purchaser. She said she could do the job with her eyes shut. I asked her if she had applied for it. "I'm there. They should know to ask me," she snapped.

It was no surprise to me when my mother died at the age of 56, after having been retired for six years, that the information her estate received on an insurance policy still listed her job title as "file clerk." She never once asserted herself in the 34 years she worked there.

But it may be, also, that she couldn't, working as she did in a world where men ruled and women were belittled. I prefer to think she fought hard for promotions, for upward movement, for equality, even though I am pretty sure she didn't.

I tried to remember what my mother may have said when Geraldine Ferraro ran for the office of vice president when Walter Mondale ran against Reagan in 1984. I remember being thrilled by the idea; in my head I hear my mother snarling expletives at the very idea that a woman might aspire to the second-highest office in the land. I might be imagining that, though.

When I was in my early 20s, I did not understand the women's liberation movement. I did not comprehend how bad it is for women, what a glass ceiling was, why it mattered. I had not thought it through.

I am older now. Now I know that woman are routinely discriminated against, routinely put down, routinely belittled and beaten and treated like animals or small children who don't know any better.

The misogyny that has been in the media during Clinton's run for office has been the stuff of horror. It reads like the 1920s, not the year 2008. Hillary sheds a tear and its national news, debated ad nauseum as if crying is some kind of national horror. (Click here to read the February 5 blog entry of my friend Chris on this topic. Also go read AROO for more on the same vein.)

The national horror is the way the media is treating this campaign. The national horror is the lack of debate and the lack of acknowledgement of the true status of women in this country. The national horror is the way women accept, as if it is their due, their second-rate status in a land that is supposed to be leading the way for freedom for all.

My mother, alas, would probably not agree.

Total Eclipse of the Moon

Last night was a total eclipse of the moon. I understand there will not be another until 2010.

I thought with the cloud cover that all would be lost, but just after the event began, things began looking up.

I put my Nikon D40 on a tripod and then, not knowing exactly what I was doing (moon pictures have always eluded me), I snapped a few pictures, changed the settings, snapped again.

I didn't get shots that were worthy of hanging on the wall, but I had a good time.







After the shadow was about halfway across the moon's face, the clouds rolled back in and I saw no more of the eclipse.

This morning I saw the moon sitting fat on the horizon, so I grabbed my camera, which was still on the tripod, and hustled out to the front porch in my nightgown and robe.



P.S. There are some really nice shots of the eclipse and the moon at CastleRuins, a new blog I found today from June's blog, Spatter.

Guitar Guy

Sunday we visited my sister-in-law and checked on the nephew. He had surgery in January and we've been keeping tabs on him.

E. turned 17 at the end of last month. He is 6' 4" tall, weighs 175 pounds, and wears size 16 shoes. He plays sports and his surgery cost him the baseball season this year. He is a high school junior.

He is also a very polite young man who says, "Yes ma'am" to me and always has. He is courteous and holds open doors and kisses me hello and goodbye.

I relate to him and his younger brother via video games, moreso than anyone else in the family, because I have always been the only one with any computer knowledge. I also am the only adult who plays video games with any regularity. I have been playing video games since the days of "Pong" but that is another blog entry.

Sunday E. showed off his new Guitar Hero III, complete with the guitar-shaped control. His mother said he'd been playing a lot - I watched as he blazed through an Aerosmith song with relative ease. He was equally good using the normal controller, too. It was rather amazing to watch because this young man has fingers that are as long as my entire hand.

He would have been some pianoist.

But he has never had an interest in music, only sports.



He showed me how to use the guitar controller and set me to "playing" on "Slow Ride" and the "Hit Me With Your Best Shot." In just two songs I went from hitting about 60 percent of the notes to 92 percent; a few hours and I'd have been decent at the game I suppose.

"I wonder which is harder, this or playing a real guitar," E commented as he watched me.

"A real guitar," I replied, without even thinking about it. I began playing the guitar when I was 11. I spent hours practicing on it, playing until my fingers ached. Sometimes they even bled.

"I wish there were more songs, this is sort of limited," E later said, after I'd played my two songs and handed him back the controller.

"If you put the time into learning to play a real guitar instead of this game, you'd be unlimited. There is no end to music when you are the one making it, not dependent on someone else to do it," I replied.

He just looked at me funny. And then this good boy, who is being invited by Princeton and Yale to submit college applications, smiled indulgently at the crazy aunt and went back to his video game.