Thursday Thirteen #820

Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which a person seeks to make another person doubt their own perceptions, memories, or sanity. It's a tactic used to gain power and control over someone by making them question their reality, thereby weakening their confidence and ability to trust their own judgment. The term "gaslighting" originates from a play called "Gas Light," in which a husband manipulates his wife by dimming the gas lights in their home and then denying that they had changed, making her doubt her perception.

Here are 13 ways to identify when someone might be gaslighting you:

1. Denying: The gaslighter flatly denies events or situations that you clearly remember happening, making you question your memory.

2. Withholding Information: They purposefully withhold information or keep secrets, causing you to doubt your understanding of what's going on.

3. Contradictions: They contradict themselves frequently, making it difficult for you to grasp the truth and leaving you feeling confused.

4. Trivializing Feelings: The gaslighter dismisses your emotions or reactions as overreactions, making you question your own feelings and emotional responses.

5. Projection: They accuse you of things they are doing themselves, deflecting attention away from their actions by putting the focus on you.

6. Shifting Blame: Gaslighters shift blame onto you, even for their own mistakes or inappropriate behavior, leading you to feel responsible for things that aren't your fault.

7. Minimizing: They downplay their behavior or the impact it has on you, making you doubt the significance of your concerns.

8. Creating Confusion: Gaslighters intentionally confuse you by changing their story or manipulating facts, leaving you unsure of what's true.

9. Isolation: They isolate you from friends, family, or support networks, making you more dependent on them and less likely to get validation from others.

10. Doubting Your Memory: They repeatedly claim that your memory is unreliable, causing you to question your recollection of events.

11. Using Others: Gaslighters might enlist others to support their version of events, making you feel like everyone agrees with them and you're in the wrong.

12. Setting Unrealistic Expectations: They set unrealistic standards for you and then blame you for not meeting them, eroding your self-esteem and self-worth.

13. Changing Reality: Gaslighters may rearrange objects, hide things, or subtly change your environment to make you doubt your sanity or perception.

If you suspect someone is gaslighting you, it's important to trust your instincts and seek support from trusted friends, family, or a mental health professional. Gaslighting can have serious effects on your mental and emotional well-being, and recognizing it is the first step towards protecting yourself from its harmful effects.

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Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; there is a list here if you want to read other Thursday Thirteens and/or play along. I've been playing for a while, and this is my 820th time to do a list of 13 on a Thursday. Or so sayth the Blogger counter, anyway.