Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing

1. Can you cry under water?

A. I have never tried. I have cried in the shower. That's sort of under water.

2. What is the fattest thing you’ve ever done?

A. I am afraid I don't understand the question. You mean like eat two candy bars in a row?

3. If you’re going to be arrested what do you want your crime to be?

A. Murder in the first degree. If I'm going to go, may as well go all in.

4. When they say dog food is “new and improved” who tastes it?

A. I imagine they try it on dogs.

5. What’s the ugliest thing you’ve ever seen?

A. Snot.

6. Why doesn’t glue stick to its bottle?

A. I have no idea. I suspect it has something to do with the lack of air in the bottle, because if you leave a bottle open long enough, it will dry up and one could consider it to be stuck to the bottle.

7. What historical event do you wish you’d witnessed?

A. The inauguration of the first woman president of the United States of America. Oh wait. That hasn't happened yet.

8. Who has had the best influence on your life?

A. My husband, followed by books.

9. Would you rather go into space or to Antarctica?

A. Space. The final frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship: Enterprise. Her five year mission to seek out new life and new civilizations. To boldly go where no one has gone before!

10. Would you rather sleep with no pillow or no blankets?

A. No pillow. I can always wad a blanket up into a pillow.

11. What's your favorite rain memory?

A. One day a very long time ago (1990), I walked through the city in the rain. It smelled of dampness and piss - the homeless population in the city has always been awful - and wet concrete, tires, and car exhaust. It was summer, and the grayness matched my mood. I wandered into Woolworth's where I became caught up in the sight of so much stuff - just everywhere, stuff - that I forgot what I was doing and was two hours late going back to work from lunch.

12. If you were elected president, what is the first thing you would do?

A. Such a loaded question in these perilous times. But I would ask Congress to make it so that the Equal Rights Amendment, which has now been passed by the appropriate amount of states but not within the required timeframe, became an amendment to the U.S. Constitution. Then I would create a commission to study the U.S. Constitution, because frankly, I think it needs an update. It may have been a masterpiece in its time, but times change. Simply changing "men" to "humanity" would be an improvement.

13. If you had $3 to spend in the dollar store, what would you buy?

A. Chocolate.

14. What’s the most annoying sound in the world?

A. A loud cricket in the house.

15. What natural disaster scares you the most?

A. I have been in floods and they are terrifying. I am also not a fan of high winds, so hurricanes and tornadoes rank up there as well.

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