I'm Confusing Myself

Saturday 9: Baby, It's Cold Outside

1) How cold is it where you are? 

A. Colder than a witch's tit, as my father would say. That saying originates from the old days and the times when people who accused women of witchcraft would search for markings on the woman's body that supposedly were used to feed familiars, or from which ol' Scratch himself would feed - a witch's teat. The actual temperature as I write this is 30 degrees Fahrenheit.

2) This familiar song (Baby, It's Cold Outside) was introduced in a 1949 film called Neptune's Daughter. (watch a clip here). Name another movie song.

A. The Sound of Music. The hills are alive ... with the sound of music. Which indeed they are, if you go outside and listen. And you don't even need to go Somewhere Over the Rainbow to stand still and hear.

3) Who was the last person to call you "baby?"

A. My husband. I remember I was standing in a corner at a resort, and he came in and grabbed me and said, "Nobody puts Baby in a corner" and then we did this Dirty Dancing in front of a lot of people. No, wait, I think I'm confusing myself with some movie.

4) This time of year is important to college football fans. Have you watched/will you watch any bowl games? 

A. No. I don't watch football. I am eager to see the Winter Olympics, though.

5)  Are you sad to see the holiday decorations begin to slowly disappear? Or do you think they should all come down right away?

A. I think they should all be down by January 15. But I don't have any feelings about it one way or the other.

6) Did you tell the truth about your weight on your driver's license, or did you shave off a pound or two?

A. I don't recall. Not that it is anyone's business, anyway. And since I can gain a pound just by looking at a cake, there is no steady number to put down anyway.

7) Crazy Sam swears that the Echinacea she takes every morning keeps her healthy. Her boyfriend tells her she's wasting her money. Do you take any herbal supplements?

A. I take quite a few, actually. Vitamins C, D3 & E, a multivitamin, B vitamins, and a probiotic.

 

8) The average restaurant tip in the US is 18%. Are you a generous tipper?

A. Yes. I try to give at least 20 percent. And I calculate it out in my head, not on some calculator on a phone. Last night, for instance, the bill was $33.40. And I figured it out like this: 10 percent of that is $3.34, double that (20 percent) and it's $6.68. So I left a $7 tip. See, you can actually figure stuff out in your brain and leave that stupid phone at home.

9) This is the last Saturday 9 of 2013. Do you know the lyrics to "Auld Lang Syne?"

 

A. Should old acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind? But I like this song by Dan Folgerberg at the end of the year better. "We laughed until we cried," says one line. Shouldn't we all do that sometime in the coming year?

 

Farewell, 2013. I can't say I am sorry to see you go.