Thursday Thirteen #245

Tomorrow is my birthday. I will be 49 years old. I suppose I shouldn't tell my age, but darn it, I have earned the wrinkles and the gray hairs.

To celebrate, I thought I'd offer up 13 things I have learned in those years I have lived.

1. Marriage has two components: you and the other person. Treat the other person like you want to be treated and it will go more smoothly. (I've been married for 28 years; I can say this with authority.) Be nice.

Feed him cake sometimes!

2. Too much of what you love is not a good thing. Moderation truly is the best way to go, whether that's in eating chocolate or making love.

3. Patience, curiosity, and caution are often rewarded, but slowly. There is no fast return on those personality initiatives.





4. Staying young is a state of mind, and it helps to be around young people if you want to do that.

5. Death comes. It sneaks up on you in the night, or it hits you full in the face unexpectedly on a pleasant Wednesday morning, but it comes. Nothing prepares you for it and it changes everything.

Be sure to change
your socks.

6. Ritual is a necessary part of life, whether that is changing your underwear by 10 a.m. every morning or partaking in an elaborate once-in-a-lifetime coronation on your wedding day. Embrace rituals and create your own.

7. Never stop learning. Learning comes in many forms, not just from books. Some of the best education I have received has come from watching people (also some of the worst). But then a lot of good stuff has come my way from reading. Figure out what you need, get it how you need it, and leave the rest.

Explore the world!

8. Just because your situation is one way does not mean the rest of the world is the same. You might be comfortable in your nice middle-class house, but that doesn't mean everyone else has one. There is always someone worse off or better off than you are. Leave your comfort zone once in a while and explore the world around you. You will come away with new knowledge not only about what is outside of you, but what is in you.

9. Etiquette and courtesy matter. Say please, thank you, yes ma'am and yes sir. Open doors for one another, especially older people, and allow someone else to get ahead of you in the grocery line once in a while. The response to a thank you is "you're welcome," not "no problem."

10. Whining changes nothing.

11. If you love what you are doing, you will do it well and often. It is important to find your passion.

12. You own your feelings and you are in charge of them. If you feel hurt, angry, depressed, or hung-over, figure it out and take control.

Kick back and relax!

13. Family means whatever you want it to. If that includes your best friend, her dog and your cat and not your blood relatives, so be it. Embrace love wherever you find it.

I could go on all day with that, I think.

Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; there is a list here. I've been playing for a while and this is my 245th time to do a list of 13 on a Thursday.