How Do I Look?

I do not consider myself a stylish dresser. In fact, I think the word "frumpy" probably covers it better. I try to dress nice, but I lean toward a conservative look.

Most of my clothes are by Alfred Dunner, purchased at JC Penneys. In part, this is because of my fat butt and my pear-shaped body. I have a hard time finding clothes that fit.

While my weight loss has stalled, I am still attempting to keep the eating in check and trying to lose. I am down over 20 pounds.

At some point, I will need some new clothes. Actually I will need a new outfit or two sooner rather than later.

I want a make over. A complete, total "gosh who is that" kind of makeover.

Sunday night I found myself entranced with a show called How Do I Look? This is not something I normally watch. Indeed, I had never seen it before and didn't konw it existed. But it came on after reruns of Sex and the City and I was reading, so I didn't change the channel. And then the next thing I knew, the book was forgotten and I was watching slovenly women being transformed into lovelies.

I want to be a lovely.

However, it hard to be a lovely when you don't know how to be a lovely. I also have some bad habits. For example, I chew my nails, still, though not as much as I once did. I am overweight, of course, and I tend to lean toward comfort over fashion. I do not like things that bind, and I need good, sturdy shoes. I need my glasses, too.

Every one of these women in these make overs lost the glasses, turned blond, and put on high heels. They looked good, but they did not look comfortable.

Sexy, yes. But not comfortable, or very practical. And definitely not me.

When I was about 14, my father hauled me off to a beautician, I guess because he was tired of my shaggy hair. This is the only time I remember him taking an interest in my appearance and I don't know what precipitated it; maybe someone said something. Anyway, the cut was way out there, for me, so much so that later that day, when I ran into my cousins at the mall, they did not recognize me.

Photos of me throughout the years show a woman who never knew what to do with her hair. I had perms that were wild; when I see the pictures I can't believe I looked like that. These days my hair lays against my head, no perm, and the gray shows. But it is gray and unpermed because I discovered I couldn't deal with the chemicals in the hair coloring and permanent solution. They made me ill.

When the time comes to buy new clothes, that time some months away when I have lost another 20 pounds and absolutely nothing in my closet fits, I hope I have the courage to step out of the Alfred Dunner section of the department store and try something else. Even if I don't get a different hair cut, or stop chewing my nails, I can purchase different clothes.

Maybe it is time I decide who I want to be, eh? It's only taken an entire lifetime! Time to find my personal style so that the answer to "How do I look?" is ... SMASHING.