Saturday, January 18, 2025
Saturday 9: Careless Whisper
Thursday, January 16, 2025
Thursday Thirteen
Tuesday, January 14, 2025
The Morning
About 52 years ago, on a Saturday sometime in May, I woke early.
My parents were still asleep, as was my brother. No one was up but me.
We lived in an old farmhouse at the time. It had a row of boxwoods across the front next to the road.
For whatever reason, when I rose, I decided I was going to trim the boxwoods. We did chores back in those days - maybe I had been told I was going to be doing that over the weekend. In any event, I was nine years old, and I was going to do a job. I dressed myself, ate a Pop Tart, found the hedge clippers, and went out front.
Snip. Snip. I vaguely remember the pile of greenery growing up around me as I trimmed. I recall it wasn't hot but a mild day, and the work was, if not fun, pleasurable. I was doing what needed to be done. I imagined that inside the boxwoods lived all manner of creatures - fairies, gnomes, talking rabbits. I carried on quite a conversation with my imaginary friends hidden in the greenery as I moved the clippers across the boxwoods, cutting away the excess growth.
I was so engrossed in my work that I never heard my parents calling for me inside the house. Nor did I hear my mother's calls out the back door.
It wasn't until she came around front calling my name that I stopped and looked up from my trimming of the hedge to see her worried face.
Her face changed from worry to shock as she stood there taking in the sight of me. I wasn't missing - I was working. And nearly finished, at that. I had been at it for well over an hour.
My mother has been gone for almost 25 years. Today is no special day; I have no reason for this memory. Sometimes, though, I forget what my mother's voice sounded like. It has been many years, after all, since I last heard her say something.
But when I call up this memory, when I hear her calling out my name as she rounds the corner of the house, concern echoing in the timbre of her shout, I remember every time.
Monday, January 13, 2025
My Baby
Sunday, January 12, 2025
A Day of Whine and Noses
I have personally used up two boxes of 48 Puffs Plus Lotion tissues since Friday, plus a box of Kleenex. I filled a trash bag with them.
Saturday, January 11, 2025
Saturday 9: Calendar Girl
Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.
1) How will you keep track of your days/weeks in 2025? Do you have a desk planner? A wall calendar? A pocket planner? Do you use the app on your phone?
2) Consider your typical week. Which day tends to be your busiest?
3) This week's artist, Neil Sedaka, is one of pop music's most prolific singer-songwriters, but his first love was classical music. He was so good that he trained at Julliard and won the accolade, "Best New York High School Pianist." Recall one of your passions from your high school years.
4) Elton John has always enjoyed Sedaka's music and in the 1970s, when Elton was one of the world's top stars, he requested a meeting. If you had the power to contact and then meet anyone in the world, who would you choose?
5) Sedaka appeared as the musical guest during the second season of Saturday Night Live. What's the most recent show you watched on TV? Was it live, from your dvr, or did you stream it?
7) In 1960, when "Calendar Girl" was popular, To Kill a Mockingbird was first published. Have you read it?
8) Also in 1960, John F. Kennedy, Jr. was baptized in the Georgetown University Chapel. His godparents were Charles and Martha Bartlett, the couple who introduced his famous parents. Do you have any godchildren?
9) Random question -- Which did you enjoy more: the last week of 2024 or the first week of 2025?
Thursday, January 09, 2025
Thursday Thirteen
Wednesday, January 08, 2025
Sick Again
I wrote on December 29 that we were both sick.
I got better. My husband stayed sick.
Now he is getting better, a little, and I am sick. Again.
I had a teleconference with my doctor, and she put me on a different antibiotic because of another ear infection. I must have a left ear that doesn't drain properly.
At any rate, we are making out as well as we can with both of us feeling poorly. Fortunately, we haven't both been at our worst at the same time.
Unfortunately, my driveway is a sheet of ice and the pickup truck is the only vehicle that can get in and out at the moment, which means that if he takes a turn for the worse, there isn't much I can do as far as fetching medicine or groceries.
He did a grocery parking lot pickup yesterday to ensure we had some food here. Since we are expecting more snow, this may have been a crucial stop. And he was out again today picking up my antibiotic.
This is a nasty something, whatever it is. We have tested negative for Covid, so I guess it's just a bad virus, along with my ear infection.
Tuesday, January 07, 2025
Monday, January 06, 2025
Hope v. Expectation
"Hope is the thing with feathers," says Emily Dickinson in one of her more famous poems.
It is also something I often feel I am at a deficit in.
Last night I asked my husband what the difference was between "expectation" and "hope." He said they were the same.
I said they were not.
These are the types of discussions I like to have, debates about ideas and philosophies and such. But he is not one to debate.
"When you go to the store, and I think, "Maybe he'll bring me a box of Tic Tacs," what is that?" I asked him.
"A hope, because it seldom happens," he said.
"If I tell you something in the house is broken, am I hoping you will fix it, or do I expect you to fix it?" I replied.
"You're doing both," he said.
And then I have to nag to get it fixed, I replied. And thus ended our conversation.
So, what is the difference between an expectation and a hope?
The kind of intersect, don't they? You can have both, for sure. They relate to our perception of the future and our desires for it.
An expectation is a belief that something will happen based on evidence, reasoning, or prior experience. For example, I expect my husband to fix a leaking sink because he has done so in the past. I do not expect him to pick up his dirty clothes because he doesn't do that often. So, expectations are often tied to specific outcomes, and its foundation is in predictability. I always expected to receive good grades in school, for example. I didn't hope for them. I prepared for tests and did the work necessary for the grade. I expected to be rewarded for my effort with a grade commensurate with the effort I put into it. Expectations are an anticipation that a certain result will materialize.
Hope, on the other hand, is more abstract. It is the optimistic yearning for a positive outcome. I hope my husband will bring me Tic Tacs, but whether he thinks to do that is out of my control (I never call and say, "Bring me Tic Tacs," because the point is I want him to think of me and show me that he does. The Tic Tacs are not the desired goal, really. The display of affection is.) Hope is not confined to logic, effort, or evidence. It is a forward-looking emotional state that allows people to endure hardships, persist in the face of adversity, and dream of possibilities that may seem distant or improbable. For example, we hope someone who is very ill will get better, or we hope we will live long enough to see a human walk on Mars.
The element of control seems to be crucial to the difference between expectation and hope. Expectations are often grounded in the belief that we can influence or predict outcomes. They are rooted in what we perceive as the logical progression of events, and unmet expectations can lead to disappointment or frustration. For instance, if I expect a promotion at work based on my performance and it does not happen, the emotional fallout may be intense, as the expectation was built on tangible evidence. I once angrily quit a job because of a situation like this, a job that in hindsight I should have stayed at.
Hope, however, thrives in uncertainty. It is most potent in situations where control is limited and outcomes are unpredictable. Right now, with ice on the fences and trees, I am hoping the power does not go out. Experience tells me that is a possibility but the odds in realty favor it staying on. I remember my mother held out great hope for her recovery from pancreatic cancer even though the odds were very much against that. Hope can provide comfort and motivation, not because the desired outcome is guaranteed, but because the possibility exists. Hope transcends the boundaries of logic and control, acting as a source of emotional strength.
The emotional consequences of expectation and hope also differ. When expectations are met - when my husband fixes the leaking sink - they can bring satisfaction, but their fulfillment often feels transactional—a simple alignment of reality with pre-established assumptions. However, when expectations are not met, they can lead to bitterness, dissatisfaction, or even a sense of failure, as unmet expectations challenge our perceived control over life. For example, his not fixing the sink would lead to a lot of nagging on my part, creating an uncomfortable scenario for both of us until he fixed the blasted sink.
Hope, though, is more forgiving. If I hope (not expect) that he will fix the sink but doesn't, I eventually either fix it myself (I have many skills) or call a plumber. It doesn't become a personal failure because he didn't do as I asked. Hope nurtures resilience, as it allows individuals to remain optimistic and forward-looking despite setbacks (it would be why I call the plumber). While unfulfilled expectations can close doors, hope keeps possibilities alive.
So what do you think, dear reader? Are expectations and hope two different things? Branches from the same tree? Can you have expectation without hope? Are they two sides of the same coin? Both can influence how we perceive and approach the future. While expectation is grounded in logic, control, and predictability, hope is rooted in optimism, possibility, and resilience. I often say I need to live my life without expectations, because ultimately, expecting people to do what they say they will or behave in a way that their actions indicate, leads to let down. Do you find that to be true? Or am I simply expecting too much out of other people?
Well, I have sat here and discussed this with myself long enough. I think that expectations and hope are different things. I also think I have too many expectations and not enough hope. I wonder if there is some way to turn that around.
Saturday, January 04, 2025
Saturday 9: Something New
Saturday 9: Something New (2017)
Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.
Welcome to the first Saturday 9 of 2025.
1) We're beginning the year with a song about new beginnings. What is something new you'd like to try in 2025?
A. I'd like to find a new massage therapist. Mine retired.
2) The lyrics recall what was said "in the mist of the midnight hour." Where were you when the new year dawned?
A. I was in bed when the clock rolled over.
3) The Axwell of Axwell and Ingrosso is Axel Hedfors. He began as a drummer and moved on to experimenting musically on the computer, eventually mastering music sequencer software. Do you consider yourself more a technophile like Axwell, who loves technology and digital devices, or more a technophobe, anxious about learning new programs?
A. I enjoy learning new devices and such, but also dislike having to relearn a program I should already know (like a new incarnation of MS Word), so perhaps a cross between the two.
4) His musical partner is Sebastian Ingrosso. Sebastian became interested in dance music when he accompanied his father, a choreographer, to the studio. When you were young, did you ever go to work with either of your parents?
A. I remember my father taking me and my brother with him on some sales call. School was out for some reason and apparently there was no one to keep us; we were quite young. Mostly I remember it was a long ride in mountainous country and my father was not happy we were along for the ride.
5) Axwell & Ingrosso gave their premiere performance at the 2014 Governors Ball Music Festival in New York City and their last concert at the 2017 Ultra Music Fest in Miami. Looking back on 2024, did you attend any outdoor music or theater performances?
A. I did not attend any performances.
6) In 2017, when "Something New" was released, we lost the TV star who could "turn the world on with her smile." Without looking it up, do you know who that is?
A. That would have been Mary Tyler Moore, right?
7) Also in 2017, Today Show anchor Hoda Kotb announced she had adopted her first child. Do you know anyone who is adding to their family in 2025?
A. I do not know of anyone who adding to their family in the upcoming year.
8) Have you made any New Year's resolutions for 2025?
A. I do not make New Year's resolutions, but I have set some small goals, which you can read here.
9) What was the first thing to make you laugh in 2025?
A. I'm not sure that's happened yet.
Thursday, January 02, 2025
Thursday Thirteen
Wednesday, January 01, 2025
Happy New Year!
Well, here it is, the big day! A brand-new start for everyone.
Whatcha gonna do with your time this year?
Work?
Read?
Play?
Daydream?
Exercise?
Eat?
Walk?
Swim?
Talk?
All of the above and then some?
Whatever the year brings for you, dear reader, I hope you enjoy it, and that your life is blessed.
Monday, December 30, 2024
The Zone
Sunday, December 29, 2024
That Stinks!
Saturday, December 28, 2024
Saturday 9: Goodbye
Friday, December 27, 2024
The Button Box
Thursday, December 26, 2024
Thursday Thirteen - Boxing Day Edition
Lots of food. |
Even something healthy. |
All set up for guests. |
Yum! She brought cookies! |
My mother-in-law. |
My stepmother. |
My father. |
The old folks gathering. I'm taking the picture. |
Dad opening a present. |
My tree |
The fireplace with its stocking. |
My brother and husband with the food. |
My brother with Santa Mouse. There's a story there, which I will tell another day. |