More Than a Feeling

Yesterday, I was visiting with the woman who has cut my hair for a very long time. Regular readers may remember she retired pre-pandemic, and I wandered around aimlessly in the wilderness of hair stylists for years trying to find someone to cut my hair. I settled on someone for about a year, but she simply had no idea what I wanted my hair to look like, even with pictures.

In desperation, I contacted my old hair stylist and asked, "What am I supposed to tell people who cut my hair as to the style I want? No one understands what I am trying to tell them."

She told me I needed a certain cut that apparently no one teaches anymore. She offered to cut my hair for me, and I agreed. She's retired but she's kept up her license.

That was just over a year ago, and yesterday, which was I think the 12th cut, she said I finally look like myself, after going for years looking like somebody else.

I wonder who I was?

I felt like me, but I knew I didn't look like I used to. It is difficult going out when you are not happy with the way you look. Add to that my unfortunate allergy to apparently every bit of makeup on the planet now, which means I mostly go out sans facial fixing, and the fact that I am overweight, and you have the perfect picture of a woman who feels more at home, alone, than someone who races all over town doing this and that.

So, I have mostly stayed home since the pandemic. I go out to the grocery store, occasionally I hit Walmart, and I see my doctors, but that's about it. We went to Belk (a southern department store) at Valley View Mall last week and it was like going into a strange world. I hadn't been to the mall in years. Literally.

I am feeling more like going out now. Even sans makeup. I've lost another 10 pounds, which is not much when you are already overweight, but my clothes fit a little better and are looser and not as restricting. I have been walking on the treadmill and trying to eat better so I have more energy. Not a lot more energy, but some.

The weather keeps me inside - I am not a winter fan. But I am feeling like maybe come spring, if I can keep the weight down, and my hair cut well, I will start venturing out more. Maybe once a week I will drive to the mall and walk it instead of the treadmill, just to see what is out there.

And to feel more like I belong in this world, because regardless of what others say and think, I do.

Saturday 9: I Wouldn't Trade Christmas

Saturday 9: I Wouldn't Trade Christmas (1968)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

  

1) In addition to Christmas, this song name-checks many major holidays, including Mother's and Father's Day, Thanksgiving, Halloween and Valentine's Day. Which holiday is your favorite?

A. I have always liked Halloween even though I do nothing to celebrate it. Old people's Christmas is not as much fun as young people's Christmas, I must say.

 

2) The Sinatra family posed in all-white for this album cover in August 1968. Are there any pictures of you and your siblings in matching outfits?

A. Not that I am aware of.

3) Nancy is the oldest of the Sinatra children. She's also the one who performed most often on TV and film with her famous father. She played his daughter (of course!) in a movie and appeared in two of his TV specials while he appeared in one of hers. In 1967, she and Frank scored a #1 single with a duet of "Somethin' Stupid." Have you ever worked with a family member or spouse?

A. My spouse and I farm. He does the labor, and I do the bookkeeping (and I am not very good at it, though I eventually get it right). I also worked for a short while with my father, but it was quite obvious that wasn't going to work.

 

4) Frank, Jr., was the middle child and only son. A dedicated musician, he labored in his father's long shadow and joked that he would have had an easier time if he'd chosen real estate instead of music. Tell us about your path not taken. (Examples: A career you wish you'd pursued but didn't; a person you could have married but didn't; a city you almost moved to but changed your mind.)

A. I could have been a musician. My parents wanted me to study music, but I chose not to. I did not think I was that good of a musician and I stand by that belief. I did ok with music, but I was nothing special. I should have been a college professor, that's what I should have been. Oh well.

 

5) Unlike her father and siblings, Tina Sinatra never wanted to be a singer. She found success as a theatrical agent and, at her father's request, became involved with his business affairs. Today she helps manage the rights to Frank Sinatra's movies and music. Do you have a good head for business?

A. My head for business is better than some. However, it is not as good as my father's, for example, and probably my brother's. I've never had that drive for money that business people seem to need.

6) Nancy and Frank, Jr., were born in Jersey City. By the time Tina was born, the family had relocated to Los Angeles. Did your family move around a lot when you were young?

A. My family moved a few times when I was young, but I would not call it a lot. We moved 4 times, only 3 of which I remember. I think that's right.

And now, in the spirit of the season ...

 

7) Do you consider snow globes a holiday decoration, or do think they should be displayed all year around?

A. I have never thought about it. I have my Department 56 Christmas buildings out year-round, so I don't see why a snow globe couldn't be out all year.

8) Which of Dickens' Christmas ghosts would you most enjoy spending time with: past, present or future?

A. I think I would most enjoy spending time with the ghost of the future, if we could get beyond the grave part and she would show me what the world would be like in 20-30  years.

9) Have you crafted, cooked, or baked any gifts this holiday season?

A. I have not. I may bake some this weekend, but we shall see how it goes. Mostly I make candy, and it doesn't freeze well. I could make a cake or brownies and freeze them until I need them, but I generally don't do that. (Actually, I haven't planned out what I am doing for my annual Christmas Eve gathering, so who knows what will appear on the table.)

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I encourage you to visit the posts of other participants in Saturday 9 and leave a comment. Because there are no rules, it is your choice. Saturday 9 players hate rules. We love memes, however. 

Thursday 13

Things I wonder about:

1. What will happen to all of my stuff should I die suddenly? Will it go out in an auction? Will family comb through it? Will anyone want any of it? Would it mean anything to anybody? What is death, anyway? Will I know if my stuff gets thrown in a dumpster? Will I care?

2. Why does it seem to be windier now than it was when I was a child? I do not remember these rabid cold fronts coming through, eating their way through the windows with blistering winds that rattle the shingles on the house. Is the earth rotating faster to make the winds blow more? Is it dust in the air?

3. Why do we have to age? Couldn't we reach a certain terminus of time and stop there? Wouldn't it be nice to cease aging at some great age like 40? Some physicists and philosophers argue that time as we perceive it may not be reality. In some interpretations of physics time is a static dimension, and all moments (past, present, and future) exist simultaneously. What if this is true? Does that mean our perception of time's flow is wrong? Do we experience time not as flow but as a sequence of events? And if that is the case, could we reverse it?

4. What is the meaning of life? (The answer is not 42!) Some people believe life’s meaning is subjective, varying from person to person. Others hope to discover an objective or cosmic purpose that applies to everyone. For many, the search itself is meaningful—an ongoing journey rather than a final answer. There are whole books outlining various theories on this topic, from Nietzche to Freud to Frankl, etc.

5. What will humanity be like in the future? While technology and society may change dramatically, certain human traits—like curiosity, creativity, and the need for connection—are likely to persist. These qualities may continue to define humanity, even in the face of rapid transformation. But with fast technological changes, humans will have to learn to adapt to change. The most exciting possibilities might come from breakthroughs we can’t yet imagine, just as people 1,000 years ago couldn’t foresee modern technologies like the internet or genetic engineering. In the year 2525, if man is still alive . . . what will we find?

6. Are ghosts, spirits, or supernatural phenomena real? I've seen things that I thought were paranormal and experienced things for which I could find no explanation. Beliefs about the paranormal vary widely across cultures and individuals, and the subject remains controversial, straddling the boundaries of science, psychology, and folklore. Why are people fascinated by the paranormal?

7. Are we alone in the universe, or is there life on other planets or in other galaxies? How would we know? The search for life beyond Earth is as much about exploring the unknown as it is about redefining what it means to be human. Life may not be "life as we know it." For all we know, there are living things that only breathe carbon dioxide and not oxygen. Not all life may come from a Class M planet.

8. Why do we dream, and do dreams have meaning? One of my first purchases as a child was a small booklet that cost me 35 cents. It's called "The Book of Dreams: a guide to the mystic meaning of your dreams." It has been on my desk for at least 40 years. Dreams remain one of the most enigmatic aspects of human experience, blending science, emotion, and mystery. I have at various times written down whole notebooks full of dreams (I've thrown those away), and I have attempted to write poems from my dreams. I have studied my dreams, but I also have shrugged them off. Sometimes I gain something from them, sometimes I don't. Sometimes I dream about my brother and call him and tell him to be careful.

9. How did ancient civilizations achieve remarkable feats without modern technology? Who built the pyramids? Who built Stonehenge, and why? Where did Machu Pichu come from? The decline of civilizations often reveals patterns, such as overuse of resources, political instability, or failure to adapt to environmental changes. It would be nice to know more about why these things happened, so it can be avoided in the future.

10. Is there such a thing as luck? Does it matter if I eat black-eyed peas on New Year's Day? Luck refers to the idea of events occurring due to chance, rather than effort, skill, or planning. While some view luck as random, others believe it’s influenced by mystical forces or personal attitudes. Some, like the author of The Gift book (which I hated and flung across the room), believes that you draw "luck" to yourself by the way you think. Some think luck is fate. Was it luck that penicillin was invented? Luck that put together Steve Wasnick and Bill Gates? Was it luck that I met my husband, and we married?

That's not 13 things, but I am stopping there because that's a lot of sentences. This will just have to be a 10 Thursday for me. All of that thinking made my brain hurt!

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Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; there is a list here if you want to read other Thursday Thirteens and/or play along. I've been playing for a while, and this is my 887th time to do a list of 13 on a Thursday. Or so sayth the Blogger counter, anyway.

Childhood Christmas Memories

One of my first Christmas memories is of my brother screaming.

Someone - one of my father's friends, I suppose - came to our house dressed like Santa Claus. My brother was about 18 months old, and I would have been 4 1/2 years old.

Santa caused my brother to cry bloody murder when he saw the old man in the red suit and beard.

I'm not so sure I didn't join him. I wonder what it is about ol' St. Nick that terrifies little children. I know I've seen many of them sobbing like crazy when I passed by the line in the mall, back when I used to actually shop in malls.

Somewhere there is a photo of this event, of my brother screaming and me hovering anxiously. Regular readers will remember I have always been protective of my brother, so if he was sobbing, I'm sure I was getting in the way to try to console him.

I don't recall many other visits with Santa. I'm sure we went every year to see him some way or another. Maybe we saw him at the Roanoke-Salem Plaza (one of the first area malls). Or at Crossroads Mall, where there was a display that we children loved of real taxidermy deer (and Rudolph in the front with his big red nose) lifting a sleigh up into the sky. That display was there for years and years. (I spent a good hour looking online at pictures of Crossroads Mall and none had the sleigh display. You'd think someone would have taken a photo.)

I suspect sometimes we saw the jolly elf with my grandparents and my two young uncles. My mother worked and weekends were generally full up with housework and taking care of whatever she needed to do. Plus, my father had a band, and they played gigs on the weekends, so we spent a lot of time overnight at my grandparents. It is easy to imagine an outing or two included them and not my parents.

One year, I recall that neither my brother nor I received what we had asked for from Santa. I think I was about 9 and my brother 6. Anyway, apparently feeling entitled and upset with Mr. Nicholas (even though by then I had long known there was no Santa), we both moped so badly about not getting what we wanted that my mother angrily loaded us into the car and took us to this department store called Best Products where I received the Howdy Doody cowboy ventriloquist doll that I simply had to have, and my brother received whatever it was he wanted (I don't remember his toy). 

The must-have toy of 1972

My mother adamantly said we had to play with those toys and only those toys for, presumably, the rest of our lives.

Of course, we discarded the toys within a week or so. I never did learn ventriloquism.

But I sure remember how mad my mother was. I think she called us ungrateful brats for the next six months. We probably deserved it. That is the only time I remember pitching a fit about my Christmas presents. Lesson learned, I guess. Accept what you get and move on.

Gratitude, Connection, Money, Change

This was floating around on Facebook. "The first 4 words you see are your mantra" for the new year.

The first four words I saw were gratitude, connection, money, and change.

I will be grateful for all of my connections and any money I make and change my wicked ways. Or maybe I'll just change my diet. It's hard to say at this point.

Change is pretty much a constant, though a lot of people fight against it. I am not always a fan of change, either, but learning to accept change is a lesson everyone must learn one way or the other. If nothing else, we all experience that big change at the end of life when we take our last breath.

I'm also not sure I want this to be "mantra" for 2025. Some years I attempt to come up with some worthy goal or words of wisdom to try to live by, other years I don't. I generally don't start thinking about next year until after Christmas.

What four words do you see? Would they be your mantra for the upcoming year, or is this silly game just . . . another silly game?

Not a Kitty Cat

This morning, as I set about to drink my hot water and read the news online, I glanced out the window.

The pasture to my left was full of does. I watched them, and they started acting a little skittish. It's the rutting season, or near the end of it, anyway, so I thought perhaps there was a buck coming toward the does. They can get a little weird if they're not in the mood when a buck comes around.

I called to my husband to come and look at the deer out the bedroom window, and I got up and went in there myself.

The deer were indeed acting strangely. To my surprise, I saw this huge hulking cat-looking thing standing up like a cat might do if attacked as a doe approached it. The doe was going after it. I've seen does pounce on other animals before, and it isn't pretty. Once I saw a doe stomp on a neighbor's cat before I could get outside to scare the deer and save the pet. The cat didn't die, at least, not then - it ran like crazy for home and I never saw it again.

The cat I saw this morning had a large head with pointed ears and a short tail with a touch of white on it. The light was low due to the early hour and clouds, so the animal looked dark. It was as big as a large racoon, but this was no racoon.

My husband arrived at the window just as the animal sprinted toward the woods.

"That was a bob cat," I said.

"Either that or a really big feral cat," my husband replied. But I am sure it was a bobcat.

Unfortunately, I didn't get a picture. This is the first time we've seen a bobcat on the farm. I saw one when I was young on my father's farm, but I haven't seen one since.

A bobcat (Lynx rufus) has a distinctive appearance and is generally solitary in nature. It is a medium-sized wildcat, typically weighing between 14 to 40 pounds, with males generally being larger than females. It has a short, "bobbed" tail, from which it gets its name, and its coat varies from tan to grayish-brown with black streaks and spots that provide excellent camouflage in its natural habitat. The bobcat's ears are black-tipped with short tufts, and its face appears wide due to ruffs of extended hair beneath the ears.

That's almost exactly what I saw before the animal ran for the woods.

Bobcats are highly adaptable and can thrive in a variety of environments, including deciduous and coniferous forests, swamps, and even urban edges. In Virginia, they are commonly found in the Appalachian Mountains (that's where I am) and the dense forests of the Piedmont region.

They primarily hunt small mammals such as rabbits, hares, and rodents. They are also known to prey on birds, insects, and occasionally larger animals like deer. Bobcats employ a stalking and ambushing technique, using their keen senses of hearing and vision to locate prey before pouncing with precision. Their diet varies based on the availability of prey in different seasons and habitats.

It was amazing to see a bobcat outside of my window. I hope I see it again - with a camera in my hand, this time.

Saturday 9: Hurt So Bad

Saturday 9: Hurt So Bad (1980)

Unfamiliar with this week's song? Hear it here.

1) Do you have any aches or pains this morning?

A. I always have aches and pains, but I think most people over the age of 50 have a few, if they are honest.

2) In this song, Linda Ronstadt complains that her ex doesn't get what she's going through. Have you recently felt misunderstood?

A. Last Saturday, a Sat 9 regular posted a comment on another person's blog that I took as a personal slap. I felt very misunderstood then because it seemed aimed at me. I was so hurt that I considered not doing Saturday 9 anymore because the commenter obviously has no clue that I don't get groceries at Target or Walmart because they're a long drive away. But I have since moved on from it (mostly), since here I am doing Saturday 9.

3) Now let's put a positive spin on it: Is there someone in your life who gets you completely?

A. Yes, my friend Teresa gets me most of the time. She doesn't miss often, anyway.

4) Linda recorded a best-selling album in Spanish, and has also performed in French, German and Italian. How many languages do you speak?

A. Just English. I had several years of Spanish in high school, but I have forgotten it.

5) Linda once dated George Lucas of Star Wars fame. Who is your favorite Star Wars character?

A. I will go with Princess Leia, mostly because she was about the only woman in the early movies.

6) Steve Martin has spoken affectionately about Linda and their romance in the 1970s. Are you a Steve Martin fan?

A. It depends on what I am watching him in. My husband is big fan of his, though.

7) Linda worked consistently and successfully with record producer Peter Asher throughout the 70s and 80s. Tell us about someone you enjoyed working beside.

A. I enjoyed working beside my friend Leslie way back in the mid-1980s when we were working together at a law office. She was kind, pleasant, helpful, and understanding. We've remained friends all of this time. She is one of my oldest and dearest friends. We just don't see much of each other anymore.

8) In 1980, when this song was popular, People magazine named author Stephen King one of the year's most intriguing people. Have you read any of his books or short stories?

A. I have read several Stephen King books, but he is not a favorite author. I thought his book, On Writing, was very male oriented, although I seem to be the only one who did not find that a fascinating look at the way of the writer.

9) Random question: Looking back on last week, would you describe it as exciting or boring?

A. It was just another week. The cold weather moved in, we took my mother-in-law to dinner, I talked on the phone to family and friends. Christmas presents started arriving via USPS, UPS, and FedEx.

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I encourage you to visit the posts of other participants in Saturday 9 and leave a comment. Because there are no rules, it is your choice. Saturday 9 players hate rules. We love memes, however. 

Thursday Thirteen

1. This is the week to ponder about the death of my friend who died in 2021. There was no closure. No funeral, no anything except my own personal visit to see her headstone. She was cremated. She died of a terminal illness, but things still feel unfinished. I wonder if it will always feel like this.

2. This was also the week to celebrate the life of my mother-in-law, who had a birthday. We bought her flowers and took her out to eat for dinner. She gets around very well to be an older person.

3. Winter finally decided to put in an appearance with colder temperatures and wind. I don't mind the cold temperatures, but I do mind the wind. It was howling like a coyote with its tail on fire around 5 a.m. this morning.

4. I wasn't expecting any packages today but found one at the back door just a while ago. I wasn't expecting it until Saturday. I do a lot of online shopping this time of year. Maybe one day I will visit the mall. That would be different.

5. My office is messy, and I feel overwhelmed when I think about trying to clean it up. I know I need to do it in steps . . . today just do this section . . . and it will eventually get done, but inertia is easier.

6. My walking on the treadmill is going well. I have moved the speed up a little and am now up to 21 minutes. I know that doesn't sound like much but when you have health issues, trust me, it's good.

7. I have a lot of books that I need to donate or give away, but no one wants books anymore. The library holds a book sale a few times a year and I have donated books to that in the past (and then once or twice bought my own book back without realizing it). But the last few times I've tried to donate books there, they told me they were full.

8. I also need to rid myself of a few guitars. They take up a lot of space.

9. And while I'm ridding myself of things, I have lots of paper records that one day need to find their way to a shredder. I still have checks from 1983 up in the attic. Not that I can get into the attic, but I know they are there. The banks used to mail you your checks back, long time ago.

10. I have a lottery ticket here on my desk that I'm trying to keep at the top of the piles of paper. That thing might be lucky come Friday. Whadda ya think?

11. We have not filled the bird feeder this year. It swings there, empty. When the wind stops blowing, I should probably bring the feeder inside if we're not going to use it.

12. I am listening to a Fern Michaels book that came across the library app when I was looking for something new. I hadn't read a Fern Michaels book in many years. I didn't even know anyone was still writing under that name.

13. Back in the day, not only did I like Fern Michaels, but I also liked Victoria Holt and Phyllis Whitney. I wonder how many of my blog readers know who those authors are?

There. Thirteen things. Whew. I thought I might not make it today.

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Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; there is a list here if you want to read other Thursday Thirteens and/or play along. I've been playing for a while, and this is my 886th time to do a list of 13 on a Thursday. Or so sayth the Blogger counter, anyway.

My Busy Wednesday

Most days, I sit at home and do home stuff. But once or twice a week, I remember I have a car.

So my busy days go like this:

• Wake up about 6:15 a.m.
• Drink a cup of hot water.
• Reset my video game.
• Read news in The New York Times, Washington Post, The Guardian, the local paper, or whatever I see that may be interesting.
• Check my email and look at Facebook.
• Mix up my Cheerios (half plain Cheerios and half something like Honey Nut Cheerios) and eat them.
• Take my medication.
• Shower and dress.
• Put the recycling into the backseat of the car.
• Make out a grocery list.
• Check the grocery store online for coupons to add to my digital card.
• Talk to a friend who calls.
• Get in the car and leave.
• Stop in the middle of the driveway because someone is coming up the driveway.
• Talk to the men from the fiber company who are "checking" to be sure some things necessary for you to one day have something besides DSL internet access have been done. No, they don't know when you will be hooked up. Have a nice day.
• Take my leave of the men and head out.
• Drop off the recycling at the recycling bins. Today it took two different tries, as the paper bin was overflowing at my first stop. They'd been emptied at the second one.
• Put gasoline in the car.
• Get lucky at the crossover and manage to get across 4 lanes without stopping.
• Drive to the grocery store.
• Once inside, purchase a lottery ticket for my husband. 
• Travel the aisles looking for the items on the list. Speak to my neighbor who's using the electric cart, call out to someone else I know and wish them a happy holiday season.
• Back track because I forgot to pick up some sausage for my husband. They are out of sausage.
• Check out and speak enthusiastically to the checkout clerk and tell him what a great job he does.
• Haul the groceries to the car and load them in the trunk.
• Put the grocery cart in the rack.
• Return to the car, start it, and head back home. Take the long route because I want to stop at the mailbox withotu getting out of the car because it's cold outside, and if I come from the west I can do that.
• The mail hasn't run.
• Go up the driveway and park the car.
• Change my shoes and wash my hands.
• Empty the truck of its groceries. Put everything away.
• Wash my hands again.
• Throw a load of towels in the wash.
• Check the destination arrival time for several packages expected today.
• Fix myself an egg sandwich and eat the crumbs of a bag of Baked Lays potato chips.
• Read a couple of articles in The Atlantic.
• Take my medication.
• Put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher.
• Turn on the humidifiers because the house is dry.
• Put the towels in the dryer.
• Reset my video game. (This should be done every 3 hours, but I only manage it three times a day, at the most).
• Drive down to the mailbox to see if the mail has run. No mail. Drive back home. Wonder if I should do a video of the drive up and down the driveway so people will understand it's a very long gravel driveway.
• Answer a few texts.
• Talk to another friend.
• Check on the packages I'm expecting. Note that the "latest arrival time" has changed. Again.
• Work on this blog post.
• Answer the door to find the USPS driver has dropped off one package. I'm expecting several. She waves at me. I scoop up the package and deposit it on the kitchen counter.
• Drive down to the mailbox again. It is stuffed full. I guess she couldn't get the one package in the box.
• Return home and puzzle over the packages. Not exactly what I thought I was buying. Hmm.
• Decide this is enough of this blog post - this day will finish out itself with a walk on the treadmill, fixing dinner, and watching TV with the husband.

When Newspapers Were Newspapers

About 20 years ago, maybe a little less, when the Thanksgiving Day newspaper showed up in the paper box, it was as thick as two encyclopedias, at least. It was full of advertisements for Black Friday sales.

It also had real news in it.

Now the daily newspaper doesn't even print a paper on Thanksgiving Day. Or any other holiday, for that matter.

And there are no advertisements.

In those long-gone days, it was a delicious treat to sit down with that fat Thanksgiving Day paper and look through the ads. It was reminiscent of the old Sears catalog. How else did you know what was out there to buy if you couldn't look through ads to see?

Today, the ads kind of come to you through whatever website you visit, but that means there are hundreds of items out there that I might like that I will never see.

Not only have we lost the news in newspapers, but also the lack of advertisements means many of us have lost the way to find new toys or products that we might use.

The other thing we have lost with the decline of newspapers is the way I used to find work. There are no longer "help wanted" ads in the newspaper. When I needed a job, long ago, I would take the Sunday paper (which would be very fat, by the way, and full of all kinds of real news and interesting feature stories), and using a red pen, I'd circle any job I thought I might be interested in and/or qualified for.

Generally, the ads were blind box ads, so you had no idea what company you were applying to. I almost always found a job that way. My resume was decent, and I had legal experience from working for lawyers, so I could find secretarial work almost anywhere.

Those days are gone, too. To be honest, I wouldn't know how to find a job if I was physically capable of holding one. All I know to do now is go to Indeed and have a look around. Or go to individual businesses and check out their "jobs" section, if it is a large company.

Newspapers were part of the fabric that held this nation together. It was known as the Fourth Estate for a reason - it was supposed to act independently of the government, not as its puppet or mouthpiece. That's not to say there wasn't bias or slant to the articles - of course there was, even long ago - but generally speaking, most reporters that I have known were there to simply tell the truth of the story they were writing about, whether that was a county meeting or a heroic adventure some youth had while paddling down the James River. It's the editors, owners, and bean counters who have turned the media into an entertainment industry instead of the news as it once was.

I think the decline of the nation is echoed by the decline of the news media. Talking heads who argue with one another is not news. Someone spewing out his opinion of what is going on is not news. I used to write news. I had no agenda other than to report what went on at a meeting. Of course, I had to curry out what was most important - do I lead with the budget or the new construction of a fire station? - that sort of thing. But in my articles, at least, nearly everything that went on at the meeting was reported.

Now, it's not. I watch the meetings online and when I read about them, the most important item is singled out, and that's about all that is given. If the public speaks, the newspapers no longer print their names like they once did. Once you were in the public halls, and put yourself up there to speak, you were in the public domain and whatever was said was fair game for the newspapers. Try that now and the public will pounce on you like a hound after a fox, and that's the end of you.

I would love to see a good newspaper again. I'd like to see advertisements again. I'd like to sit down with a Sears catalog and turn the pages, licking the ink off of my fingers, just to see what all is out there.

We have lost so much with all of these gains in technology. There is no going back, I know. We must thrust our way forward and hope that whatever sword finds us, it's not the one with the powerful pointy end.

Sunday Stealing

1. Has reading a book ever changed your life? Which one and why, if yes?

A. I think The Dance of Anger, by Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., was a life-changing book. It gave me permission to be angry about things that had happened to me.

2. Do you prefer to read fiction or nonfiction?

A. I read both and really don't have a preference.

3. If you could be a character in any novel you've read, who would you be?

A. I would be Anne Shirley in the Anne of Green Gables series of books by L.M. Montgomery.

4. Has reading a book ever made you cry? Which one and why?

A. The first book I remember reading that made me cry was Bambi, by Felix Salten. This was not the Disney version, this was the actual book, and I was seven years old when I read it. When Bambi's mother died, I cried and cried.

5. How many books do you read a year?

A. At the moment, I am up to 69 books this year and the majority of those are audiobooks. I used to read at least 100 books a year but as my eyesight has grown worse, I don't read as much because my eyes tire easily. 

6. Name a book you had to read but hated. Why did you hate it?

A. I honestly don't recall ever hating a book. Some of the books I had to read for advanced English classes were difficult - Dostoyevsky comes to mind - but I didn't hate them.

7. If someone wrote a book about your life, what would it be called?

A. Oh, I don't know. The Weird Path Taken, perhaps. I took a path most people don't take - I turned my back on the corporate world and set about doing my own thing.

8. Have you ever written (or started to write) a book?

A. I have started writing books, but I've never managed to finish one.

9. If you could pick a book you've read to make into a movie, what would it be?

A. Just looking at the books I've read this year, I think I would go with The Last Bookshop in London, by Madeline Martineau.

10. What was your favorite book as a child?

A. My favorite book as a child was Miss Osborne the Mop, by Wilson Gage.

11. What are you reading right now?

A. I am in between books at the moment. I just finished The Courage to be Disliked, by Ichiro Kashimi, which I do not recommend. I haven't decided on my next read as I've been busy with holiday stuff.

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I encourage you to visit other participants in Sunday Stealing posts and leave a comment. Cheers to all us thieves who love memes, however we come by them.

Saturday 9: Thank You

Saturday 9: Thank You (2000)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) This week's song begins with Dido complaining about her day, but then she sees a photo of a loved one that reminds her "it's not so bad." What was the most recent photo you took?

A. The last picture I took was of my husband with his latest deer kill, and I will spare you all the photo of the hunter and his prize. And yes, the meat is used. We keep some, the rest is scattered around to the elderly neighbors who no longer hunt but like the meat.

2) She admits that between a hangover and her finances, she's got a headache. What's your go-to headache remedy?

A. I find that taking a hot shower generally helps my headaches, since they are frequently sinus related. The warm steam in the bath opens up my sinuses.

3) Though her given name is Florian, her family started calling her Dido when she was very young, so she considers it her "real" name. Which is not to say she likes it. She said being christened one name but called another was confusing when she was a little girl. Plus, since neither Florian nor Dido are common monikers, she didn't appreciate the way her names made her stand out at school. "I used to wish I'd been named Claire," she says. Do you like your name? Do you feel it suits you?

A. I also grew up with a name that was not the name I was given at birth. I dropped the nickname at school in the second grade, when the teacher refused to use it (thank you teacher), so lived a dual life. Only my father uses the nickname now because he is a control freak and refuses to use my given name. My brother sometimes slips, and people that my father introduces me to using the nickname sometimes forget to call me by my real name, though generally if I ask them to call me by my given name, they make an effort. As for whether or not my given name suits me, probably not. It means "grace" and I do not consider myself to be the most graceful of people.

4) In 2000, the year this week's song was on the charts, AOL merged with media giant Time Warner. In 2022 it was estimated 70% of us check our personal (not business) email daily. That's down from 74% in 2020. How often do you check your email?

A. At least twice a day.

5) "Thank You" is this week's song because November 28 was Thanksgiving. What are you thankful for this year?

A. I'm thankful for family and friends.

6) At the first Thanksgiving, there were no forks. Pilgrims ate with spoons and knives. How many forks were at your Thursday place setting?

A. There was only one fork on the place setting. We don't do fancy stuff like use multiple forks.

7) It's estimated that nearly 50 million pumpkin pies are baked for Thanksgiving. Was it on your Thursday menu?

A. There was a pumpkin pie at the Thanksgiving meal, but I did not eat any of it.

8) A recent poll revealed that we are a divided country, with cranberry sauce being named both most and least favorite Thanksgiving side dish. Where are you on this controversy?

A. I can take it or leave it. My husband likes the cranberry jelly that slides out of the can, so that is what we have.

9) The day after Thanksgiving is known as Black Friday, the unofficial start of the holiday shopping season and sales. Walmart, Best Buy and Target all advertise heavily on Black Friday. If you could have a $100 gift card from one of those stores, which would you choose? What would you buy?

A. A $100 gift card doesn't go far these days, but I would take the Walmart one and purchase new towels. I don't buy towels at Target; the last time I did that, the colors ran out of them, so I avoid purchasing linens there.

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I encourage you to visit the posts of other participants in Saturday 9 and leave a comment. Because there are no rules, it is your choice. Saturday 9 players hate rules. We love memes, however. 

Thursday Thirteen #885

Since is Thanksgiving here in the United States, it seems appropriate (and probably a little lazy) to make a list of 13 things for which I am grateful.

1. My husband of 41 years, who has put up with all sorts of craziness from me and continues to love me in spite of myself. He's a good man and I love him very much.

2. My personal creative process, which encompasses a wide range of things from writing to music to an occasional spurt of coloring in a coloring book. Sometimes I even do crafty things, but not very often. It is generally the writing and the music that attract me and keep me going.

3. I am very grateful for books. I would not be who I am today if I had not been a constant reader, always delving into this world or that. Books broaden my world and keep my brain thinking.

4. Education also tops my list of things for which I am grateful. I loved school, even elementary school, and only found it more to my liking as I aged and moved into high school and then college. I strongly suspect I missed a calling as a professor - I would have enjoyed that, I think.

5. The career I did have as a writer of local news was incredibly satisfying and while it didn't make me rich, it certainly made me well-known and, in some circles, highly thought of. I know not everyone liked what I wrote, but a good journalist makes enemies.

6. I am very thankful for my family, even the ones I seldom see. I have a wide range of cousins out there, too many to list by far, and I recently discovered a new one who lives just down the road from me. She was writing about her great aunt on Facebook in a history group, and that person was my great aunt, too, so we are either second cousins or first cousins once removed. I can't figure that out without a chart, but I think it is the "once removed" part.

7. My friends are also atop my list of people for whom I am grateful. I do not have many close friends, but the ones I have I treasure and love deeply. They help keep me sane.

8. I am especially grateful for my brother, who should be under the "family" heading, I suppose, but I shall single him out because he is the only person in the world who shares my past. My father is still alive but he does not share my past in the way my brother does, because he saw it as adult and child, while my brother and I were both children. We have a tight bond to be siblings, and I am grateful for that.

9. My computer makes me, well, not happy, but it does keep me "out there" and that is something. Occasionally I'd like to throw the thing out the window, but I still use it constantly.

10. I am grateful to be alive. I had a few times when that wasn't a certainty, especially when I had sepsis because of endometriosis and ovarian cysts, and again when I had e-coli, once when I had pneumonia, and a few other times that I won't go into. I honestly never expected to live this long, so each day is a gift.

11. I am thankful for my house, which we moved into about this time of year a very long time ago. In 1987, we built our home ourselves, hammering nails and all of that. My husband had loads of help from firefighters he worked with, many of whom had second jobs as carpenters, roofers, and painters. While not exactly a good old-fashioned barn raising, it certainly was a multi-friend and family effort.

12. I am grateful too for the technology that makes texting possible. It's a quick and easy way to catch up with folks. While I personally prefer an actual conversation to a text, a text is acceptable.

13. There really is no "last" in a list of things for which one might be grateful, is there? There's the beautiful sky, the lovely Blue Ridge Mountains, neighbors, the stars in the dark sky, the clouds that make beautiful sunsets - honestly, there is no end to the list of things I could be grateful for.

And I am especially grateful for you, dear reader, whoever you are and wherever you are. I hope that you have a very wonderful day.

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Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; there is a list here if you want to read other Thursday Thirteens and/or play along. I've been playing for a while, and this is my 885th time to do a list of 13 on a Thursday. Or so sayth the Blogger counter, anyway.

Alderian Psychology

I have been listening to a book called The Courage to Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga.

The book delves into the principles of Adlerian psychology, which is something I never remember hearing about despite taking psychological courses in college.

Adlerian psychology, founded by Alfred Adler around the same time as Sigmond Freud's better-known theories came about, emphasizes the importance of individual purpose and social interest. It suggests that our behavior is not determined by past traumas but by our goals and the meaning we assign to our experiences. 

Some key concepts as the Internet seems to understand Adlerian psychology:

Individual Psychology: Adler emphasized the uniqueness of each person and the importance of understanding individuals within their social context.

Feelings of Inferiority: Adler believed that feelings of inferiority drive individuals to strive for superiority and success. These feelings often stem from early childhood experiences.

Social Interest: A core concept in Adlerian psychology is the idea of social interest, which refers to an individual's sense of belonging and contribution to society.

Lifestyle: Adlerian therapy involves assessing an individual's lifestyle, which includes their beliefs, values, and strategies for dealing with life's challenges.

Encouragement: Adlerian therapists use encouragement to help clients see possibilities and believe in their abilities to overcome challenges.

Goal-Oriented Behavior: Adlerian theory posits that human behavior is goal-oriented and motivated by striving for personal goals.

Adlerian therapy allegedly focuses on understanding an individual's lifestyle and social interests, examining past experiences and family dynamics, and encouraging goal-setting and positive behavior changes to foster a sense of belonging and purpose

The Courage book encourages readers to embrace self-acceptance, take responsibility for their actions, and find the courage to be disliked in order to live authentically. Kind of a "do what you want and who cares about anyone else" sort of philosophy. I suspect this appeals more to narcissists than to people of other temperaments.

The book is structured as a dialogue between a philosopher and a young man. It does not go into detail about various psychologies or philosophies it mentions, which is a bit of a hindrance if the reader is not familiar with these types of issues and concerns. It also does not dovetail with the definition of Adlerian psychology that I found online, at least, not entirely. The book offers more of a life philosophy that emphasizes tasks and goals as the reason for living. I confess I find that idea to be distasteful.

That, to me, is a human doing, not a human being.

Not a book I recommend for self-growth, really, but if you want to learn about a different approach to certain ways of dealing with certain people, there may be some value there.

Shiny Antlers

I wasn't really in a good position to get this photo, but these shiny antlers certainly caught my attention yesterday morning.

Aren't they lovely?

Sunday Stealing

1. What was the last song you listened to?

A. The song I have running through my head at the moment is, "I Want to Be in Love," by Melissa Etheridge. I'm not sure it's the last one I heard, but that's my ear worm for the morning.

2. What is your favorite thing about the place you live?

A. I like my house because my husband and I built it ourselves. It's cozy.

3. What is your earliest childhood memory?

A. When I very young, maybe about 4 or so, my brother, who is 3 years younger than I, climbed up on the kitchen cabinet and managed to get a hold of an entire bottle of aspirin, which he proceeded to eat. I found him and ran to my mother to tell her, and they took him to the hospital to get something to make him throw them up.

4. If you could be any animal, what would you be?

A. I would be a deer. They are inquisitive animals.

5. Who do you trust the most in your life?

A. I trust my husband more than anyone. After all this time, I should.

6. How many languages can you say "hello" in?

A. Three, I think.

7. What is your favorite kind of weather?

A. I like for it to be about 72 degrees, sunny, with a tiny gentle breeze tickling my nose.

8. How did you discover that Santa wasn't real and how old were you?

A. I learned that very early on. I had lost a tooth early, when I was 5, by falling on my grandmother's stoop. The tooth fairy came and brought a 50-cent piece. When I was helping my mother dust one day shortly after that, I discovered a bowl full of 50-cent pieces and quickly deduced that my parents were the tooth fairy, and from there made the leap to Santa Claus. My mother confirmed my suspicions but asked me not to tell my brother.

9. What is the best feeling in the world?

A. Knowing that you are loved is one of the best feelings in the world.

10. What is your favorite color?

A. Blue is my favorite color.

11. Is there a language you would love to learn?

A. I would like to relearn Spanish. I had it in high school, but I have forgotten most of it.

12. How do you feel about reality TV?

A. I don't think reality TV has helped the country much. I watch some of it, but I think it contributes to the dumbing down of the USA.

13. Did you ever skip school when you were a kid?

A. I did skip school when I was in high school. I used to slip out early and miss band class. I was warned if I missed another I would be reprimanded, didn't listen, and received an in-school suspension for it. I don't know if they still do that. Probably not.

14. What is your least favorite food?

A. I will not eat coconut.

15. Do you have a good luck charm?

A. I do not have a good luck charm.

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I encourage you to visit other participants in Sunday Stealing posts and leave a comment. Cheers to all us thieves who love memes, however we come by them.