Sofas, Smell, and Stench, Oh My!

On March 22, I wrote about our issues with sofas. We've been trying to obtain new furniture since July of last year. Our 10-year-old Ashly sectional broke, so we bought new furniture at Grand, two over-sized love seats.

After two months, the one we were sitting in broke. I allowed them to fix it, and we sat in the other, and after two months, it broke.

They replaced that, but the furniture smelled so badly that we moved it to the garage, and ultimately ended up asking Grand to take it away.

So we picked out different furniture, and it was delivered on April 30.

 

 

 

The furniture is all the same color, it just doesn't look it in the light. We hadn't planned on the chair, but from early February until the end of April we had nothing to sit in but lawn furniture. My back couldn't take it and they had the power chair that matched the furniture on the floor at the Tanglewood Grand store, so I bought it so we'd have something to sit in.

The chair had a mild odor after it was delivered. By the fourth day, I could no longer smell it.

The new furniture at first did not seem to smell, but then after we'd had it about four days, the odor began in earnest. It was not as bad as the other furniture (which the delivery man informed us stunk up his truck for two days after he picked it up; it was the same fellow), but bad enough to keep me out of the kitchen and living room.

Once again we put out baking soda and charcoal absorbers to try to eliminate the odor. We ran fans. Finally, I found a product called Ozium Air Sanitizer, available in automotive stores (and probably others), which claims on the bottle to reduce airborne bacteria and eliminate smoke and malodors. It seemed to help, so I started spraying it three or four times a day in the living room.

The Ozium smells a bit like lemon when it is first sprayed.

I can now sit in the furniture for a while without it messing with my sinuses or giving me a sore throat. I don't stay in there for hours on end, but I can get back on the treadmill and watch HBO so long as it is not a long movie. My hope is that after a few days more I can treat the living room like, well, my living room.

The new furniture sits well and looks good. This time we bought a love seat and a sofa (and the unexpected purchase of the power recliner). The sofa is as big as the oversized love seats were in the other brand of furniture. We like the size of this furniture better, I think, though we were quite content with our original purchase until it broke.

Now our fingers are crossed that (a) this will stop smelling, which I am sure it will eventually, and (b) it holds up and doesn't break.

As an aside, I think furniture companies have a responsibility to inform purchasers of off-gassing issues with new furniture. Grand was good to work with but they did not really want to accommodate my request to hold the furniture in their warehouse, uncovered, for several weeks so it could air out. They held it for 10 days which obviously wasn't long enough, and the salesman was pushing me to get it delivered. Frankly, if they are going to sell this stuff with this odor, which can be hazardous to anyone with asthma or other lung issues, then they should set aside a place to let it air out for a long time before delivery. I can't be the only person in the area who is sensitive to this off-gassing.

If you type in "off gassing" on Google, you find this is an issue for many people and for many objects. This is what comes from deregulation and from lack of oversight of what companies sell. It is definitely a "buyer beware" sort of world. I have a feeling most of these things that stink are not good for you, and probably continue to create problems even after the odor eases. Some sites claim the odors and problems associated with it continue for up to a year.

The last time I had this much trouble with something was in 2005, when we purchased carpeting. After that experience, I have sword we will never again put in new carpet, which means hardwood floors or tile or something when the time comes to replace the carpet (which, since it is 10 years old, is not so far off).

While I am on the subject of stinking stuff, we had the living room painted while it was empty. The painter used Natura paint by Benjamin Moore, and it had only a mild odor. I am quite allergic to paint and was able to stand this without having my mouth and hands swell up, as sometimes happens with other brands.

The lessons learned here are many. First, lack of regulation allows anything to be sold in this country, and it doesn't matter whether it is healthy for you or if it will kill you - and unfortunately many of us, brought up in better times, still think there is a regulatory body out there that keeps harmful things from entering the consumer highway. That is not the case, however, and it is best to remember that. No one is going to look after you but you, and that is certainly true since the 1980s. It has always been so but I know growing up that civics courses taught otherwise - in the 1970s, at least, there was an indication that the government regulated manufacturers so that they couldn't sell stuff that would kill you. Or at least that was the impression I was left with. That is obviously no longer the case.

Second, deal with a reputable company so that if you have problems, you have recourse for remedy. Grand has been very good to deal with in this matter, and I think the fact that we purchased from a long-standing reputable dealer made a difference here. Get to know the folks you're dealing with, too.

Buying local, even if the stuff ultimately comes from across the sea, makes more sense every day.


*I have not been paid to talk about any product or company mentioned in this post.*

Thursday 13

I live in Virginia's Blue Ridge, one of the loveliest places on earth (I think). It resembles the mountains of Scotland and the lands of England, and indeed is part of a mountain range that runs beneath the ocean all the way into those aged hills.

Many folks who live in the area often say there is nothing to do here, because we live here. But there are a lot of things to do in this area. Here are 13:

1. Visit the Mill Mountain Star (actually called the Roanoke Star now, but I am old and still call things by their original names) and the park. There's a lovely area for there for walking, picnicking, and hanging out.

2. Check out Mill Mountain Zoo, while you're there. I am not a fan of zoos, but I know some people are, and the Mill Mountain Zoo has been around since 1952 (that's longer than I, for I am not that old!). I would like to visit it again, since I haven't in about 40 years, simply to take photos of the animals.

3. The Virginia Museum of Transportation has all things trains, among other modes of transportation. Come on a specific weekend and you could get a ride on the 611 steam engine!

4. Black Dog Architectural Salvage & Antiques. This place has become popular because there is a show about the fellows who go out and save the remnants of old structures, and then turn them into something else, or leave them as-is for some savvy home builder to use in construction or whatever.

5. The O. Winton Link Museum. This is a museum dedicated to preserving the photos of Winston Link, who documented the history of the Norfolk & Western Railway during his lifetime.

6. Taubman Museum of Art. This is an interesting structure (one which I am not fond of, as I do not believe it fits in with the architectural landscape of Roanoke City and would have looked better on a knoll off by itself somewhere), and it offers various displays of art. At the moment, Normal Rockwell's pictures are up for viewing.

7. Visit the City Market. The Roanoke City Market area has a variety of shops and eateries, along with one of the oldest farmers' markets in Virginia. While you are there, check out Center in the Square, the History Museum, and the Pinball exhibit.

8. Tour the Town of Fincastle. This is about a 30 minute drive from Roanoke, and a walk about town makes for an interesting tour of historic structures. The opportunity to learn about patriots who settled this country is a great lesson for all. Fincastle was the true starting point of the Lewis & Clark expedition.

9. Visit Ikenberry Orchards (Daleville) and the Jeter Farm (Bonsack). Both offer a bit of old fashioned goodness in the form of sweets, hay rides, and other "farm stuff" opportunities.

10. The Eleanor D. Wilson Museum of Fine Arts at Hollins University. The museum changes out its displays frequently, so there is always something new to see. While you are there, you may as well tour the college grounds, which date back to the mid-1800s and feature intriguing older structures.

11. Tour any other nearby small town, city, or community. Check out Buchanan, Floyd, Vinton, Salem, Bedford, Rocky Mount, Smith Mountain Lake, or Blacksburg. You could feasibly spend the better part of a day at each area, and that's not all of them.

12. Visit any of the wineries in the area. Here's the Botetourt Wine Trail, if you're interested.

13. Take a trip on the Blue Ridge Parkway. Go south, and you'll end up at the Peaks of Otter. Head north, and you'll hit Mabry Mill. You can't go wrong either way, as the views are magnificent.


There is lots to do around here. Do it!

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Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; there is a list here if you want to read other Thursday Thirteens and/or play along. I've been playing for a while and this is my 447th time to do a list of 13 on a Thursday. 

No Joy in De Feet

For several years now, I have shown you, dear reader, an occasional photo of my foot in a boot or a surgical shoe, or something.

I have a terrible time with my right foot and ankle (and occasionally in the left foot, too). I have arthritis in the joints in my big toe (or great toe, as my physical therapist calls it), and that causes me to walk on the metatarsal of the second toe, which makes that hurt.

In my right ankle, two of the bones rub together. Nothing seems to help this, though I use a lot of KT tape to keep the nerve pain to a level below "screaming."

Some of my feet problems didn't start until I had plantar fasciitis and a heel spur in the left foot, and a podiatrist insisted I must wear orthotics in my shoes, and my shoes must have a very solid sole. I used to wear Easy Spirit sneakers but the soles on those bend. So I began testing my shoes, and if the sole bent, it was not a shoe I wore. I ended up with New Balance 927s, but then New Balance changed those and I went to a 928. That worked okay for several years, though I still had a lot of pain. Then New Balance recently changed *that* shoe, and in March, when I went to purchase a new pair at the locally owned shoe store, I discovered the change made my foot drop inward even with my inserts in them. They had narrowed the sole significantly, it seemed, and changed the support.

So I went to a very stiff shoe called an Aetrex, and the jury is still out on those. I am wearing them but initially they made my big toe hurt, mostly because I was wearing them without the orthotic and thus walking like I should be, putting weight on that toe. I finally reconfigured a mosaic "pad" insert that came with the shoe to change the way my weight carried on the right side, stopping, at least, the pain in the toe.

Sigh.

I personally thought (and think) that the orthotics are as much of a problem as not. I used to wear Minnetonka moccasins with no soles around the house all the time, buying a new pair every time we went to the beach. But we stopped going to the beach and after I wore out my last pair (about 15 years ago), I did not replace them (online shopping wasn't the thing it is now). And my foot has grown wider in the intervening years, so I would prefer trying on a pair because Minnetonka doesn't make a wide shoe.

I would go barefoot but I have a thing about anything touching my feet except socks.

Anyway, the local paper a few weeks ago had an article about a company in Charlottesville called Oesh.  (If that link doesn't work, you can see them at Amazon here.) The shoes reportedly were made by a woman for women, and there was a note that most shoes start with a basic form (from a male foot, of course) and so women are wearing the wrong shoes to begin with.

That does not surprise me.

So I went to the company website, and I purchased the shoe they had on sale.

If you think this looks like nothing I would wear out, you would be right. I'm little miss plain Jane, wearing only white sneakers. But around the house, these feel pretty good.

They feel a bit like a moccasin, and for that reason I am wearing them with no orthotics (though I do have my ankle taped up as I usually must do to keep the nerve pain down). At first, the soles felt squishy and unstable, but after walking on them a few minutes they were okay. The top is a very soft mesh. The bottom is entirely flat, so it is like walking barefoot but not, and with something soft between my foot and the floor.

I am not yet ready to make a call on these shoes, but I think if you have feet problems and are looking for something different to try, these might be an option. They have others that don't look quite so, um, different, but I went with the cheapest ones. If I should decide I like these well enough to order another pair, I'll get something that looks a bit better. I suppose one might consider these "fun" shoes but the colors really aren't my thing.

The fact that these are made locally (I'm 2 hours from Charlottesville) and in Virginia also factored into my decision to purchase. If that matters to you, then that is another reason to take a look at the shoe.

Many people on Amazon report that these shoes have helped their feet issues. I haven't worn them enough to know yet. But I do think that they may make a difference, especially if I wear them in conjunction with my other shoes, alternating. At any rate, I am not unhappy with them. We'll see.



*No one paid me to write about this product.*

Birds of Color

Medium: Colored Pencil

These would be more dramatic and interesting if I were actually drawing them, instead of simply coloring them in, but I am finding the coloring therapeutic. I'm also surprising myself with how well I can actually color, as I have never considered myself artistic in the drawing sense. In writing, yes, and perhaps occasionally I'd manage a lucky shot with the camera, but not "art."

I'm not sure if coloring is an art - it probably isn't - but I do find it a quick way to step out of whatever is troubling me for a few minutes.

My coloring books are kept on an old computer stand, that I have set at standing height. So I have to get out of my chair and off my behind to color, which is a good thing. I sit way too much.

So far I've used colored pencils, markers, and crayons. I like the dark and smoothness of the markers, but I can't make details with the markers as well as I can with crayons or colored pencils. After all, wit the latter two, all one must do is bear down a bit harder and it is as if there is an entirely different color, depending on pressure.

This is from a Dover coloring book called "A Walk in the Woods." I was hoping it would be similar to the Dover coloring books I have of wizards and goddesses, which have large spaces and less detail, but this coloring book is fairly detailed. I like to have a few wide spaces wherein I can simply concentrate on evening out the color and not worrying about detail. I worry too much about detail as it is.

In fact, there was an article in today's paper about how coloring is not just a "fad," that it can help one work through grief, or help people enjoy their passions because there are coloring books about everything, apparently. A visit to doverpublications.com reveals coloring books that are classic works, remakes of old movie posters, Gaugin paintings, fairy tales, flowers, patriotic colorings, dogs, nautical scenes, etc.

They do not, however, have a Lord of the Rings coloring book. Never fear, though, my dears - for you know how much I love Tolkien. There is a Lord of the Rings coloring book coming out, based on the movies, as of May 31. I have it on order, so expect to see colorings of Gollum, Frodo, Sam, and Gandolf over the summer months. I have not looked for one based on The Hobbit; I must remedy that.

I actually pulled up each bird and looked at it on the computer as I colored, turning around many times (for I color with my back to this thunderous machine) to see how the coloring was. Of course, real birds have much more detail and the colors blend, and I couldn't really do that, but I did my best. I think I am learning, and maybe this kind of creative effort is good for me. It is change, like playing music, something different for my brains to ponder.

The Littlest Calf

Sunday Stealing: Monsters

From Sunday Stealing

Monsters in the Closet Meme

1. Do you usually sleep with your closet door open or closed?

A. Open. It stays open all the time because one of the heating/cooling registers is in there and if you shut the door it messes up the air circulation.

2. Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotels?

A. No, because they are usually scented and I have to have unscented everything.

3. Have you ever ‘done it’ in a hotel room?

A. Yes. I'm married. That's what vacations are for.

4. Where is your next vacation?

A. We haven't planned one, though we are considering Savannah, GA.

5. Have you ever stolen a street sign before?

A. Can't say that I have.

6. Who do you think reads these?

A. Other meme writers and some of my regular readers.

7. Do you have a calendar in your room?

A. I have a Lord of the Rings calendar hanging on my wall. For May, it is Frodo Baggins. June is Legolas and I can't wait to turn the page. It might stay June the rest of the year.

8. Where are you?

A. In my office in my house on a farm in Virginia.

9. What’s your plan for the day?

A. Saturday, as I answer this, I am having a high pain day, and my husband has literally ordered me not to do anything strenuous. I have been instructed to find a good book and read it. Of course, I am not doing that, I am answering these questions and otherwise playing around on the computer. Sunday I am hoping to feel well enough to straighten the house up and have my mother-in-law over for dinner, but that is really going to depend on how I am.

10. Are you reading any books right now?

A. No, I am answering these questions. But the books I am reading are something by Neil Gaiman that I can't remember the name of, and The Japanese Lover by Isabela Allende (?). And my new O! magazine.

11. Do you ever count your steps when you walk?

A. I am sure I have at some point but it is not routine.

12. Have you ever peed in the woods?

A. Yes, when I was young and my family went camping.

13. Do you ever dance even if there’s no music playing?

A. Yes.

14. Do you chew your pens and pencils?

A. Sometimes.

15. What is your “Song of the Week”?

A. I don't really have one, but I have today been singing lines from And When I Die by Blood, Sweat, and Tears. You can hear it here.

16. Is it okay for guys to wear pink?

A. Of course it is. My husband looks great in his pink shirt.

17. Do you still watch cartoons?

A. I haven't in a while, but I would if they would show something worth watching. I used to watch Captain Planet and the Planeteers when I was in my 30s.

18. What's your favorite love movie?

A. Dirty Dancing.

19. What do you drink with dinner?

A. Water.

20. What do you dip Chicken Nuggets in?

A. I don't eat chicken nuggets.

21. What is your favorite food/cuisine?

A. Chocolate is my favorite food, but it is soon going out of my life.

22. What movies could you watch over and over and still love?

A. All three movies in The Lord of the Rings trilogy, Under the Tuscan Sun, Forest Gump, Dirty Dancing, Mamma Mia! (Pierce Brosnan trying to sing cracks me up), Monty Python and the Holy Grail,  and many others.

23. Last person you hugged/kissed?

A. My husband.

24. Were you ever a boy/girl scout?

A. No. I wanted to be, but my mother worked a full-time job and I could not make the meetings.

25. Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?

A. I assure you, no one would want to see that.

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I encourage you to visit other participants in Sunday Stealing posts and leave a comment. Cheers to all us thieves who love memes, however we come by them.

Saturday 9: Mama

Saturday 9: Mama (2015)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here. 

1) Gamal Lewis got the nickname "LunchMoney" in 10th grade because of his round cheeks and because lunch was his favorite part of the school day. What do you recall about lunchtime in the school cafeteria?

A. When I was in high school, at least twice I managed to throw my retainers in the trash bins, and I then missed sixth period to go toss myself into said bins and hunt for the darned thing. I found it each time, wrapped in a napkin. I would take it home, boil it in bleach water, and use it. It was either that or tell my parents I lost them, and they were expensive.

2) His father and uncle were members of the band Inner Circle. Their song, "Bad Boys" was the theme to the reality show Cops. What reality show have you seen recently?

A. Survivor is the only one I watch.

3) In this song, Mr. Lewis sings that his mama taught him how to put on pajamas. What did you wear to bed last night?

A. A nightgown.

4) He claims he can't ever lie to his mama because she'll hear it in his voice. Are you a convincing liar?

A. I don't think so.

5) LunchMoney sings that his mama made him chicken soup when he was sick. Do you eat soup all year around, only during winter months, or just when you're battling a cold?

A. I eat soup all year round.

6) The lyrics tell us that when her son was hungry, Mama reliably whipped something up. What's the last food you prepared?

A. I had an egg sandwich.

7) He also sings that his mama always made sure he had a few dollars in his pocket. Let's talk about you and money. Did you more recently lend or borrow it?

A. Borrowed it from the bank.

8) Mother's Day is for grandmothers, too. Sam grew up calling her grandmother "Grandgran." Did you have a nickname for your grandmother?

A. I just called her Grandma.

9) To celebrate Mother's Day, Sam is giving away her own mother's favorite candy: Hershey Bars. Would you prefer milk chocolate, dark chocolate, or milk chocolate with almonds?

A. Dark chocolate.

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I encourage you to visit other participants in Saturday 9 posts and leave a comment. Because there are no rules, it is your choice. Saturday 9 players hate rules. We love memes, however.

The Stalkers

Medium: colored markers and colored pencil.

The entire time I was working on this picture, I kept hearing the song Africa, by Toto, which was popular in 1982 and reached the top of the charts in 1983, in my head. I hummed it for 10 days while I worked at coloring this picture, doing it in tiny increments as time allowed.

I always liked the song. Some of the lyrics resonated with me, as they must have done with millions since the song was so popular.

My favorite lines?

"I stopped an old man along the way
Hoping to find some long forgotten words or ancient melodies
He turned to me as if to say, hurry boy, its waiting there for you."

and

"I seek to cure what's deep inside, frightened of this thing that I've become."

The song is about love, and wanting, and needing to never be apart from the one that you love. "It's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you," the song says, noting that a hundred men could not separate the lovers.

Something could, though. The song does not say "Nothing will ever drag me away from you," but instead that it would "take a lot" for the lovers to part. So there are boundaries there. And boundaries are good. It is not healthy to be so caught up in the life of someone else that you lose your own.

But back to those lines that I have always found intriguing.

Stopping that old man along the way, searching for something. I do that all the time, only I do not stop old men. I call up old friends, and new - I like to seek out other's opinions, thoughts, and ideas on issues of concern. That is one of the allures of social media, so many opinions, thoughts, and ideas. There are too many, though - they over stimulate. That is why the singer only asks one person, the universal symbol of knowledge, the wise man. Jungian psychology calls the wise man an archetype, something found in the collective unconscious.

We all recognize it - we all know without knowing that there are always wiser, smarter people out there. Some of us are scared and angry about this these days, so we flaunt our ignorance instead of seeking more knowledge. We do not ask the wise old man, we look instead for someone of equal ignorance to lead us along a familiar path while we resist change and newness with every step. We know this person will not get us to the airport, but he is familiar and comfortable, and we don't want to hear forgotten melodies anymore.

The singer seeks things he does not know, but also things that once were known. He is looking at the past to recreate a present. The wise man tells him he already knows and has what he needs - it's inside of him. She's also waiting for him at the airport.

And then there's that other line: I seek to cure what's deep inside, frightened of this thing that I've become.

This has all kinds of implications, doesn't it? Is the singer unhappy with who he is? He is looking for a cure for what he has become - is that a lovesick young man, needy and wanting? Has he stopped dreaming and become a drone in an office somewhere, letting the desire for capital gain overcome his desires and hopes? And why does it scare him? Is it not acceptable? Has he turned into someone he did not expect?

I have been seeking to cure what's deep inside for as long as I can remember. I was born with an ache, I think, some kind of deep soul-cut that runs deep and long. I've had many people tell me I am an "old soul," and I know that is meant as a compliment. It means I have learned from living, from the things I have experienced, the world I have seen. It means I take little for granted and am constantly seeking more wisdom, more wise words, more of whatever it is that makes us human and whole. It means I have empathy and I feel the pain of the world sometimes. It means I am wise beyond my years.

The years, though, have caught up with me and now I should be wise, should I not? I've an old gray head, after all. Lots of white hairs to indicate that I have lived.

Too bad that few people seek out the wisdom of the elders anymore. The knowledge of the older generation is more valuable than all of the colors of the land, but it's a coin easily dropped in the African desert sands.

Thursday Thirteen

1. Gas prices are inching back up, but then they always do in May - Memorial Day is a big travel day and the unofficial start to summer. The big oil companies can't miss out on their profits from travelers, now can they?

2. How I developed my cynicism about the world is not a mystery - I have lived. I don't see how any one can live in this world and not be a cynic, and disbelieve practically everything one hears. The disinformation in the "information age" is astounding.

3. I asked my doctor for a special prescription earlier in the week - one that will hopefully will have me writing if not here, then in my journal daily. I have plenty to say but not necessarily the will to say it anymore. Maybe a doctor's order will help.

4. Just because I asked a friend about him. Just because I spoke his name somewhere. Just because I saw him then went all to pieces, he think I still care. That's a country song from my childhood. Here's a version by Anne Murray which seems to be from a record player with a skip in it. I remember playing this song with my father about 35 years ago. Sometimes the words come back to, though I am not sure they are the right words or in the correct order. I grew up on country music but when I found The American Top 40, country music was no longer part of my listening experience.

5. Kisses are the most second wonderful thing in the world. Hugs are the first most wonderful thing, I think. If we kissed here like they do in Europe (friends on the cheek) and weren't so weird about our sexuality, maybe kisses would be first on my list. But we don't do touch well here in the U.S.A., and I think that is a very sad statement. I wish I could put my arms around the world.

6. Last night I dreamed something about peanuts and bombs. I have no idea what the two have to do with one another, and I haven't eaten peanuts or peanut butter in ages . . . so clueless as to where that came from. However, I dream a lot, often waking myself and my husband with yells or cries. I don't have nightmares, I have night terrors, and sometimes they are pretty intense.

7. Magic in every day life is hard to find, but I like to look for it. I see it in a child's smile, or when a tired clerk responds to my wink of encouragement, or when some fellow takes my grocery cart from me so I don't have to haul it to the storage bin or the store. Every day magic is an important part of our lives, but we miss it most of the time.

8. Nothing on my desk needs to be there, but it is there anyway. Piles of papers, notebooks, tissues, an empty water glass - is this what I want to surround myself with every day? I must, or it would not be there. Thank goodness for walls, where one can place pictures of beauty.

9. Occident is a word that means countries of the west, esp. Europe and the Americas. Occidental is a person from those countries. I learned this word when I was quite young, and in trying to use it in a sentence, I informed my uncle he was an occident. He heard "accident" and bristled at the thought that he was not a planned child (he was four years older than I).

10. Partisanship seems to be tearing the country apart. Is there an answer? I wonder if these United States will remain united, or will we end up a divided country yet again? History repeats for those who refuse to learn, and we obviously have slow learners amongst our population. It makes me sad to see so much infighting and disagreeing amongst ourselves. I think ultimately we want the same thing; safety, good economy, the right to be left alone and live our lives as we want. So why does everyone keep getting into everybody else's business?

11. Quizzes on Facebook are frequently weird but I sometimes take them anyway. Why I find it comforting to be a Unicorn or a rainbow or the person who is thus and so, I do not know, but the quizzes are popular.

12. Rolling Stones is my husband's favorite musical band. He has most of their albums, I think. He saw them live in Charlottesville several years ago and I was so glad he was able to see them. They are in the news this week because they don't want a presidential candidate to play their songs. I wonder if he will ignore their request?

13. Sometimes I find I have nothing to write on Thursday 13, and grasp at straws. Today is one of those days. I chose a letter from the alphabet to start each number, beginning with "G" and ending with "S." So here we are now, at the end.


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Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; there is a list here if you want to read other Thursday Thirteens and/or play along. I've been playing for a while and this is my 446th time to do a list of 13 on a Thursday. 

Amongst the Herd

What Bathroom Do I Use?

Every year, about 1/2 million women in the United States have a hysterectomy.

That means they have their lady parts removed, usually because of something like endometriosis, fibroids, cancer, or some other issue.

It is not a decision most women make lightly.

My hysterectomy occurred when I was 29 years old. That is young to have such a surgery. It was the only option left, in the end, and the only way I would live and not die of extreme pain and intense bleeding.

I was born female but now I have no lady parts. I don't have a male organ, either, but technically speaking, I am, well, a heterosexual androgynous sort of person who identifies as female. Or something like that. If you want to be detailed about it. I've always just thought of myself as a woman, and until the Republican parties in southern states started making all of these weird bathroom rules, I never gave it any thought.

But now I must ask - what bathroom do I use?

I look and sound female, and if anyone forced me to take off my pants they would assume I am female. But my reproductive value is nonexistent. So what does that make me? Besides, you know, useless in the eyes of some evangelicals who believe if you can't reproduce then you must have sinned big time. (And yes, I have been told that.)

It is hard enough in this country to have fertility problems, to have to endure physical trauma to your body, not to mention the emotional toil it takes to deal with the fact that you can't have children, without having a bunch of dumbasses start bringing up weird crap about who goes to what bathroom.

As if transgendered people or people like myself or other people who do whatever they do haven't been going to the bathroom for years and years without stupid laws.

And then they bring up the "pharmacists, doctors, therapists can say no" to whatever they disagree with, as if they know the whole story. I mean, I took birth control pills to control endometriosis so we could attempt to have children. They were part of my fertility process, a hope that by slowing down the growth of the endometriosis, we might have a chance to produce a child.

This stuff is nobody's business. If more people would mind their own business and keep their fantasies to themselves, and leave other people alone to live their lives as they need to, we wouldn't be having such stupid public conversations. I wouldn't be writing this admittedly stupid and sarcastic blog entry. I know where to go pee, and I know I'm a woman. I'm just not sure that the idiots in charge now would agree with me.

You do know the rest of the world laughs at us, right? The only thing that keeps them from actually laughing in our faces is the fact that we have the largest military machine ever and they don't want to piss off anybody who has the codes to the nuclear bombs.

What happens in my body is not your business. Where I go pee is not your business. Who I sleep with is not your business. Why do you think it is your business? I don't poke my nose into your business. Why must you stick yours in mine?

I think it is a lack of empathy, I really do. That means a person can understand and share the feelings of other people. Ultimately there is a certain and admittedly large group of people who cannot think of other people without judgment or any ability to feel or think about what the "others" might be thinking or feeling. I don't know where this comes from, if it is genetic or upbringing or religious indoctrination or what, but it is there. Maybe it's the result of the 1970s "me" generation, the bunch of us brought up on 7-Up who believe we're the only ones who matter and to hell with everybody else.

If you have empathy, generally speaking, you don't have "others" in your life. You have people who think differently, who seem to be thinking with their emotions and not their heads, or you have people of other races who see things in a different way, but they are still human beings to you and they still function like you do, peeing and putting on their pants one leg at a time. Sleeping and eating, drinking, trying to do the best they can with whatever their lot in life has turned out to be. And if you have empathy, you can see that lot, and see perhaps how a person ended up there, living in a box or living alone, or living with a house full of 19 children. You can see how they are doctors or plumbers or farmers or writers. Maybe you disagree with the decisions that got them to that place, but you can feel for them and understand that maybe they need some help, or maybe not, or maybe they are happy, or maybe not, and that all of them need to go potty somewhere or another and holding it in the shopping mall isn't always possible.

Much of the stuff in the media today - the war against women (yes, I believe there is one), the backlash against the same-sex marriage ruling by the Supreme Court, immigration - all of the issues that make headlines because they sell news, exists simply to divert our attention away from the really important matters. The really important matters are things like appointing another justice to the Supreme Court because we are one short. Or how companies do not pay taxes. Or the lack of jobs and the loss of the middle class. Banks that are too big to fail. Big money that pays for politicians. More people in prison than any other nation per capita. Cutting welfare and trying to end Social Security and undermining all of the social safety nets that a truly modern and progressive and yes, the very best country in the world, would have in place, not destroy.

We would be focusing on making unions strong again, bringing power back to the people and taking it from the hands of the few and giving it back to the arms of the many, but instead the media - big corporate power - plays to our emotions and gives us stories about who goes to what bathroom.

It's a farce. It's a ploy. It's a game created to divert our attention, to divide and conquer, to destroy the things that keep people hopeful and happy. A game played by people who don't have to worry about their next meal. They don't care if you have one, you know. They would just as soon take your pennies as give you a free lunch.

When will we wake up? It's a bad dream, the world we live in now. Wake up America. Because of the things that we've dismantled, we are no longer great. We're just a third world has-been of a nation now, with a growing population of poor. All of those hot-button issues aren't going to make us a great country again.

Where you pee doesn't make you a great country. Great statesmen who have empathy for their fellow human beings make great countries.

Find those leaders, men and women. Vote out the assholes in the Congress and Senate. Find the empathy, and you will find your country.

And then we'll all know where to go pee.

Moving a Tree Limb

The other night, a very large dead limb fell from one of our trees in the backyard. It landed standing up, like a tree itself, leaning against its former owner and another tree.

We could not leave it there for fear it would fall on someone's head.

So hubby brought up the backhoe.

Hubby on backhoe getting ready to attack tree limb.



He moved the backhoe bucket ever so gently, like a mother cat stroking her young.



He moved the bucket and pushes on the limb.



The limb caught on another tree, of course. So he lowered the bucket and lifted from the end of the branch.



Tada! The big branch is down on the ground, ready to be sawed up and placed on the wood pile.
 

Sunday Stealing: A to Z

From Sunday Stealing

A to Z Meme

A) What does the last text you sent say? And to whom?

A. I don't text. However, I do email to people who receive my emails as texts on their phones (you can do that for free, in case you didn't know). The last one of those I sent says, "Looks great to me" and it was to a friend.

B) What does the last text you received say? And from whom?

A. From same friend: "Trying to do a flattering caricature."

C) What time do you wake up most mornings?

A. 6:15 a.m.

D) Are you afraid of walking alone at night?

A. Depends on where I am.

E) What do you do to relax at the end of a stressful day?

A. Read, watch TV, or just go to bed.

F) Where did your last kiss take place and with whom?

A. My husband, today, in the living room.

G) Do/did you get into trouble a lot at school?

A. I am sure I was in more trouble than my folks thought.

H) Do you enjoy your job? If unemployed, are you content being so?

A. I am not working at the moment and no, I am not overly happy about it.

I) Do you often pick up on double entendres and innuendos?

A. How do you define "often"?

J) Have you ever been offered drugs but declined?

A. Yes.

K) Have you ever met someone who has completely altered your way of thinking?

A. Yes.

L) Have you ever been offered drugs and accepted?

A. Yes.

M) Tell us something weird that turns you on.

A. No clue how to answer this one. I'm pretty much a prude.

N) When did someone last admit romantic or sexual feelings for you? Was the feeling mutual?

A. That would be my husband of 33 years and yes, it is mutual.

O) What is something you have given a lot of thought to lately?

A. Whether the sofa would be on the left side or the right side of the room, and whether it would it smell.

P) When did you last swallow your beliefs to avoid an argument or confrontation?

A. I refrain from speaking on many occasions.

Q) Do you usually initiate hugs?

A. Yes. I ask for them if I want one and know the person well enough to feel comfortable making said request.

R) Are you a very affectionate person?

A. I am a bit reserved but if you are someone I know and love, then I am very affectionate towards you.

S) Can you roll your own cigarettes?

A. I don't smoke so I am not sure why this would be a skill I would need.

T) What are you looking forward to?

A. My husband is going away with his mother soon to visit her relatives. While I will miss him, I will not miss the dirt he brings in with him every evening. I am looking forward to a clean house for a few days.

U) Do you have any tattoos. Do you want any/more?

A. No and no.

V) Are you mentally strong?

A. I don't think so but I have friends who tell me I am the strongest person they know. So I suppose that is a matter of perception.

W) Are you physically strong?

A. No. I think we all agree on that.

X) Do you think you’re a good person?

A. I do my best to be.

Y) Name one thing you wish you could change about your life right now.

A. I would be healthier and not in pain.

Z) What do you usually eat for breakfast?

A. It varies from oatmeal to egg to nothing at all.

__________

I encourage you to visit other participants in Sunday Stealing posts and leave a comment. Cheers to all us thieves who love memes, however we come by them.