My Busy Wednesday

Most days, I sit at home and do home stuff. But once or twice a week, I remember I have a car.

So my busy days go like this:

• Wake up about 6:15 a.m.
• Drink a cup of hot water.
• Reset my video game.
• Read news in The New York Times, Washington Post, The Guardian, the local paper, or whatever I see that may be interesting.
• Check my email and look at Facebook.
• Mix up my Cheerios (half plain Cheerios and half something like Honey Nut Cheerios) and eat them.
• Take my medication.
• Shower and dress.
• Put the recycling into the backseat of the car.
• Make out a grocery list.
• Check the grocery store online for coupons to add to my digital card.
• Talk to a friend who calls.
• Get in the car and leave.
• Stop in the middle of the driveway because someone is coming up the driveway.
• Talk to the men from the fiber company who are "checking" to be sure some things necessary for you to one day have something besides DSL internet access have been done. No, they don't know when you will be hooked up. Have a nice day.
• Take my leave of the men and head out.
• Drop off the recycling at the recycling bins. Today it took two different tries, as the paper bin was overflowing at my first stop. They'd been emptied at the second one.
• Put gasoline in the car.
• Get lucky at the crossover and manage to get across 4 lanes without stopping.
• Drive to the grocery store.
• Once inside, purchase a lottery ticket for my husband. 
• Travel the aisles looking for the items on the list. Speak to my neighbor who's using the electric cart, call out to someone else I know and wish them a happy holiday season.
• Back track because I forgot to pick up some sausage for my husband. They are out of sausage.
• Check out and speak enthusiastically to the checkout clerk and tell him what a great job he does.
• Haul the groceries to the car and load them in the trunk.
• Put the grocery cart in the rack.
• Return to the car, start it, and head back home. Take the long route because I want to stop at the mailbox withotu getting out of the car because it's cold outside, and if I come from the west I can do that.
• The mail hasn't run.
• Go up the driveway and park the car.
• Change my shoes and wash my hands.
• Empty the truck of its groceries. Put everything away.
• Wash my hands again.
• Throw a load of towels in the wash.
• Check the destination arrival time for several packages expected today.
• Fix myself an egg sandwich and eat the crumbs of a bag of Baked Lays potato chips.
• Read a couple of articles in The Atlantic.
• Take my medication.
• Put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher.
• Turn on the humidifiers because the house is dry.
• Put the towels in the dryer.
• Reset my video game. (This should be done every 3 hours, but I only manage it three times a day, at the most).
• Drive down to the mailbox to see if the mail has run. No mail. Drive back home. Wonder if I should do a video of the drive up and down the driveway so people will understand it's a very long gravel driveway.
• Answer a few texts.
• Talk to another friend.
• Check on the packages I'm expecting. Note that the "latest arrival time" has changed. Again.
• Work on this blog post.
• Answer the door to find the USPS driver has dropped off one package. I'm expecting several. She waves at me. I scoop up the package and deposit it on the kitchen counter.
• Drive down to the mailbox again. It is stuffed full. I guess she couldn't get the one package in the box.
• Return home and puzzle over the packages. Not exactly what I thought I was buying. Hmm.
• Decide this is enough of this blog post - this day will finish out itself with a walk on the treadmill, fixing dinner, and watching TV with the husband.

When Newspapers Were Newspapers

About 20 years ago, maybe a little less, when the Thanksgiving Day newspaper showed up in the paper box, it was as thick as two encyclopedias, at least. It was full of advertisements for Black Friday sales.

It also had real news in it.

Now the daily newspaper doesn't even print a paper on Thanksgiving Day. Or any other holiday, for that matter.

And there are no advertisements.

In those long-gone days, it was a delicious treat to sit down with that fat Thanksgiving Day paper and look through the ads. It was reminiscent of the old Sears catalog. How else did you know what was out there to buy if you couldn't look through ads to see?

Today, the ads kind of come to you through whatever website you visit, but that means there are hundreds of items out there that I might like that I will never see.

Not only have we lost the news in newspapers, but also the lack of advertisements means many of us have lost the way to find new toys or products that we might use.

The other thing we have lost with the decline of newspapers is the way I used to find work. There are no longer "help wanted" ads in the newspaper. When I needed a job, long ago, I would take the Sunday paper (which would be very fat, by the way, and full of all kinds of real news and interesting feature stories), and using a red pen, I'd circle any job I thought I might be interested in and/or qualified for.

Generally, the ads were blind box ads, so you had no idea what company you were applying to. I almost always found a job that way. My resume was decent, and I had legal experience from working for lawyers, so I could find secretarial work almost anywhere.

Those days are gone, too. To be honest, I wouldn't know how to find a job if I was physically capable of holding one. All I know to do now is go to Indeed and have a look around. Or go to individual businesses and check out their "jobs" section, if it is a large company.

Newspapers were part of the fabric that held this nation together. It was known as the Fourth Estate for a reason - it was supposed to act independently of the government, not as its puppet or mouthpiece. That's not to say there wasn't bias or slant to the articles - of course there was, even long ago - but generally speaking, most reporters that I have known were there to simply tell the truth of the story they were writing about, whether that was a county meeting or a heroic adventure some youth had while paddling down the James River. It's the editors, owners, and bean counters who have turned the media into an entertainment industry instead of the news as it once was.

I think the decline of the nation is echoed by the decline of the news media. Talking heads who argue with one another is not news. Someone spewing out his opinion of what is going on is not news. I used to write news. I had no agenda other than to report what went on at a meeting. Of course, I had to curry out what was most important - do I lead with the budget or the new construction of a fire station? - that sort of thing. But in my articles, at least, nearly everything that went on at the meeting was reported.

Now, it's not. I watch the meetings online and when I read about them, the most important item is singled out, and that's about all that is given. If the public speaks, the newspapers no longer print their names like they once did. Once you were in the public halls, and put yourself up there to speak, you were in the public domain and whatever was said was fair game for the newspapers. Try that now and the public will pounce on you like a hound after a fox, and that's the end of you.

I would love to see a good newspaper again. I'd like to see advertisements again. I'd like to sit down with a Sears catalog and turn the pages, licking the ink off of my fingers, just to see what all is out there.

We have lost so much with all of these gains in technology. There is no going back, I know. We must thrust our way forward and hope that whatever sword finds us, it's not the one with the powerful pointy end.

Sunday Stealing

1. Has reading a book ever changed your life? Which one and why, if yes?

A. I think The Dance of Anger, by Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., was a life-changing book. It gave me permission to be angry about things that had happened to me.

2. Do you prefer to read fiction or nonfiction?

A. I read both and really don't have a preference.

3. If you could be a character in any novel you've read, who would you be?

A. I would be Anne Shirley in the Anne of Green Gables series of books by L.M. Montgomery.

4. Has reading a book ever made you cry? Which one and why?

A. The first book I remember reading that made me cry was Bambi, by Felix Salten. This was not the Disney version, this was the actual book, and I was seven years old when I read it. When Bambi's mother died, I cried and cried.

5. How many books do you read a year?

A. At the moment, I am up to 69 books this year and the majority of those are audiobooks. I used to read at least 100 books a year but as my eyesight has grown worse, I don't read as much because my eyes tire easily. 

6. Name a book you had to read but hated. Why did you hate it?

A. I honestly don't recall ever hating a book. Some of the books I had to read for advanced English classes were difficult - Dostoyevsky comes to mind - but I didn't hate them.

7. If someone wrote a book about your life, what would it be called?

A. Oh, I don't know. The Weird Path Taken, perhaps. I took a path most people don't take - I turned my back on the corporate world and set about doing my own thing.

8. Have you ever written (or started to write) a book?

A. I have started writing books, but I've never managed to finish one.

9. If you could pick a book you've read to make into a movie, what would it be?

A. Just looking at the books I've read this year, I think I would go with The Last Bookshop in London, by Madeline Martineau.

10. What was your favorite book as a child?

A. My favorite book as a child was Miss Osborne the Mop, by Wilson Gage.

11. What are you reading right now?

A. I am in between books at the moment. I just finished The Courage to be Disliked, by Ichiro Kashimi, which I do not recommend. I haven't decided on my next read as I've been busy with holiday stuff.

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I encourage you to visit other participants in Sunday Stealing posts and leave a comment. Cheers to all us thieves who love memes, however we come by them.

Saturday 9: Thank You

Saturday 9: Thank You (2000)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) This week's song begins with Dido complaining about her day, but then she sees a photo of a loved one that reminds her "it's not so bad." What was the most recent photo you took?

A. The last picture I took was of my husband with his latest deer kill, and I will spare you all the photo of the hunter and his prize. And yes, the meat is used. We keep some, the rest is scattered around to the elderly neighbors who no longer hunt but like the meat.

2) She admits that between a hangover and her finances, she's got a headache. What's your go-to headache remedy?

A. I find that taking a hot shower generally helps my headaches, since they are frequently sinus related. The warm steam in the bath opens up my sinuses.

3) Though her given name is Florian, her family started calling her Dido when she was very young, so she considers it her "real" name. Which is not to say she likes it. She said being christened one name but called another was confusing when she was a little girl. Plus, since neither Florian nor Dido are common monikers, she didn't appreciate the way her names made her stand out at school. "I used to wish I'd been named Claire," she says. Do you like your name? Do you feel it suits you?

A. I also grew up with a name that was not the name I was given at birth. I dropped the nickname at school in the second grade, when the teacher refused to use it (thank you teacher), so lived a dual life. Only my father uses the nickname now because he is a control freak and refuses to use my given name. My brother sometimes slips, and people that my father introduces me to using the nickname sometimes forget to call me by my real name, though generally if I ask them to call me by my given name, they make an effort. As for whether or not my given name suits me, probably not. It means "grace" and I do not consider myself to be the most graceful of people.

4) In 2000, the year this week's song was on the charts, AOL merged with media giant Time Warner. In 2022 it was estimated 70% of us check our personal (not business) email daily. That's down from 74% in 2020. How often do you check your email?

A. At least twice a day.

5) "Thank You" is this week's song because November 28 was Thanksgiving. What are you thankful for this year?

A. I'm thankful for family and friends.

6) At the first Thanksgiving, there were no forks. Pilgrims ate with spoons and knives. How many forks were at your Thursday place setting?

A. There was only one fork on the place setting. We don't do fancy stuff like use multiple forks.

7) It's estimated that nearly 50 million pumpkin pies are baked for Thanksgiving. Was it on your Thursday menu?

A. There was a pumpkin pie at the Thanksgiving meal, but I did not eat any of it.

8) A recent poll revealed that we are a divided country, with cranberry sauce being named both most and least favorite Thanksgiving side dish. Where are you on this controversy?

A. I can take it or leave it. My husband likes the cranberry jelly that slides out of the can, so that is what we have.

9) The day after Thanksgiving is known as Black Friday, the unofficial start of the holiday shopping season and sales. Walmart, Best Buy and Target all advertise heavily on Black Friday. If you could have a $100 gift card from one of those stores, which would you choose? What would you buy?

A. A $100 gift card doesn't go far these days, but I would take the Walmart one and purchase new towels. I don't buy towels at Target; the last time I did that, the colors ran out of them, so I avoid purchasing linens there.

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I encourage you to visit the posts of other participants in Saturday 9 and leave a comment. Because there are no rules, it is your choice. Saturday 9 players hate rules. We love memes, however. 

Thursday Thirteen #885

Since is Thanksgiving here in the United States, it seems appropriate (and probably a little lazy) to make a list of 13 things for which I am grateful.

1. My husband of 41 years, who has put up with all sorts of craziness from me and continues to love me in spite of myself. He's a good man and I love him very much.

2. My personal creative process, which encompasses a wide range of things from writing to music to an occasional spurt of coloring in a coloring book. Sometimes I even do crafty things, but not very often. It is generally the writing and the music that attract me and keep me going.

3. I am very grateful for books. I would not be who I am today if I had not been a constant reader, always delving into this world or that. Books broaden my world and keep my brain thinking.

4. Education also tops my list of things for which I am grateful. I loved school, even elementary school, and only found it more to my liking as I aged and moved into high school and then college. I strongly suspect I missed a calling as a professor - I would have enjoyed that, I think.

5. The career I did have as a writer of local news was incredibly satisfying and while it didn't make me rich, it certainly made me well-known and, in some circles, highly thought of. I know not everyone liked what I wrote, but a good journalist makes enemies.

6. I am very thankful for my family, even the ones I seldom see. I have a wide range of cousins out there, too many to list by far, and I recently discovered a new one who lives just down the road from me. She was writing about her great aunt on Facebook in a history group, and that person was my great aunt, too, so we are either second cousins or first cousins once removed. I can't figure that out without a chart, but I think it is the "once removed" part.

7. My friends are also atop my list of people for whom I am grateful. I do not have many close friends, but the ones I have I treasure and love deeply. They help keep me sane.

8. I am especially grateful for my brother, who should be under the "family" heading, I suppose, but I shall single him out because he is the only person in the world who shares my past. My father is still alive but he does not share my past in the way my brother does, because he saw it as adult and child, while my brother and I were both children. We have a tight bond to be siblings, and I am grateful for that.

9. My computer makes me, well, not happy, but it does keep me "out there" and that is something. Occasionally I'd like to throw the thing out the window, but I still use it constantly.

10. I am grateful to be alive. I had a few times when that wasn't a certainty, especially when I had sepsis because of endometriosis and ovarian cysts, and again when I had e-coli, once when I had pneumonia, and a few other times that I won't go into. I honestly never expected to live this long, so each day is a gift.

11. I am thankful for my house, which we moved into about this time of year a very long time ago. In 1987, we built our home ourselves, hammering nails and all of that. My husband had loads of help from firefighters he worked with, many of whom had second jobs as carpenters, roofers, and painters. While not exactly a good old-fashioned barn raising, it certainly was a multi-friend and family effort.

12. I am grateful too for the technology that makes texting possible. It's a quick and easy way to catch up with folks. While I personally prefer an actual conversation to a text, a text is acceptable.

13. There really is no "last" in a list of things for which one might be grateful, is there? There's the beautiful sky, the lovely Blue Ridge Mountains, neighbors, the stars in the dark sky, the clouds that make beautiful sunsets - honestly, there is no end to the list of things I could be grateful for.

And I am especially grateful for you, dear reader, whoever you are and wherever you are. I hope that you have a very wonderful day.

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Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; there is a list here if you want to read other Thursday Thirteens and/or play along. I've been playing for a while, and this is my 885th time to do a list of 13 on a Thursday. Or so sayth the Blogger counter, anyway.

Alderian Psychology

I have been listening to a book called The Courage to Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga.

The book delves into the principles of Adlerian psychology, which is something I never remember hearing about despite taking psychological courses in college.

Adlerian psychology, founded by Alfred Adler around the same time as Sigmond Freud's better-known theories came about, emphasizes the importance of individual purpose and social interest. It suggests that our behavior is not determined by past traumas but by our goals and the meaning we assign to our experiences. 

Some key concepts as the Internet seems to understand Adlerian psychology:

Individual Psychology: Adler emphasized the uniqueness of each person and the importance of understanding individuals within their social context.

Feelings of Inferiority: Adler believed that feelings of inferiority drive individuals to strive for superiority and success. These feelings often stem from early childhood experiences.

Social Interest: A core concept in Adlerian psychology is the idea of social interest, which refers to an individual's sense of belonging and contribution to society.

Lifestyle: Adlerian therapy involves assessing an individual's lifestyle, which includes their beliefs, values, and strategies for dealing with life's challenges.

Encouragement: Adlerian therapists use encouragement to help clients see possibilities and believe in their abilities to overcome challenges.

Goal-Oriented Behavior: Adlerian theory posits that human behavior is goal-oriented and motivated by striving for personal goals.

Adlerian therapy allegedly focuses on understanding an individual's lifestyle and social interests, examining past experiences and family dynamics, and encouraging goal-setting and positive behavior changes to foster a sense of belonging and purpose

The Courage book encourages readers to embrace self-acceptance, take responsibility for their actions, and find the courage to be disliked in order to live authentically. Kind of a "do what you want and who cares about anyone else" sort of philosophy. I suspect this appeals more to narcissists than to people of other temperaments.

The book is structured as a dialogue between a philosopher and a young man. It does not go into detail about various psychologies or philosophies it mentions, which is a bit of a hindrance if the reader is not familiar with these types of issues and concerns. It also does not dovetail with the definition of Adlerian psychology that I found online, at least, not entirely. The book offers more of a life philosophy that emphasizes tasks and goals as the reason for living. I confess I find that idea to be distasteful.

That, to me, is a human doing, not a human being.

Not a book I recommend for self-growth, really, but if you want to learn about a different approach to certain ways of dealing with certain people, there may be some value there.

Shiny Antlers

I wasn't really in a good position to get this photo, but these shiny antlers certainly caught my attention yesterday morning.

Aren't they lovely?

Sunday Stealing

1. What was the last song you listened to?

A. The song I have running through my head at the moment is, "I Want to Be in Love," by Melissa Etheridge. I'm not sure it's the last one I heard, but that's my ear worm for the morning.

2. What is your favorite thing about the place you live?

A. I like my house because my husband and I built it ourselves. It's cozy.

3. What is your earliest childhood memory?

A. When I very young, maybe about 4 or so, my brother, who is 3 years younger than I, climbed up on the kitchen cabinet and managed to get a hold of an entire bottle of aspirin, which he proceeded to eat. I found him and ran to my mother to tell her, and they took him to the hospital to get something to make him throw them up.

4. If you could be any animal, what would you be?

A. I would be a deer. They are inquisitive animals.

5. Who do you trust the most in your life?

A. I trust my husband more than anyone. After all this time, I should.

6. How many languages can you say "hello" in?

A. Three, I think.

7. What is your favorite kind of weather?

A. I like for it to be about 72 degrees, sunny, with a tiny gentle breeze tickling my nose.

8. How did you discover that Santa wasn't real and how old were you?

A. I learned that very early on. I had lost a tooth early, when I was 5, by falling on my grandmother's stoop. The tooth fairy came and brought a 50-cent piece. When I was helping my mother dust one day shortly after that, I discovered a bowl full of 50-cent pieces and quickly deduced that my parents were the tooth fairy, and from there made the leap to Santa Claus. My mother confirmed my suspicions but asked me not to tell my brother.

9. What is the best feeling in the world?

A. Knowing that you are loved is one of the best feelings in the world.

10. What is your favorite color?

A. Blue is my favorite color.

11. Is there a language you would love to learn?

A. I would like to relearn Spanish. I had it in high school, but I have forgotten most of it.

12. How do you feel about reality TV?

A. I don't think reality TV has helped the country much. I watch some of it, but I think it contributes to the dumbing down of the USA.

13. Did you ever skip school when you were a kid?

A. I did skip school when I was in high school. I used to slip out early and miss band class. I was warned if I missed another I would be reprimanded, didn't listen, and received an in-school suspension for it. I don't know if they still do that. Probably not.

14. What is your least favorite food?

A. I will not eat coconut.

15. Do you have a good luck charm?

A. I do not have a good luck charm.

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I encourage you to visit other participants in Sunday Stealing posts and leave a comment. Cheers to all us thieves who love memes, however we come by them.

Saturday 9: My Baby Just Cares for Me

Saturday 9: My Baby Just Cares for Me (2016)

Unfamiliar with this week's song? Hear it here.

1) Michael Buble sings that his lover doesn't care much about the theater or new clothes. Which have you done more recently -- attended a play or movie or added to your wardrobe?

A. I bought some clothes last weekend.

2) This song was first performed in 1930, 45 years before Buble was born. What pop song do you love that is far older than you are?

A. Well, 'tis the season, so I'll go with Bing's version of White Christmas.

3) The video for this song features a spinning vinyl record. Do you still have a turntable?

A. We do have a turntable! However, it is not old. It's one we bought about six years ago. It also plays CDs and cassettes.

4) Michael is currently appearing on The Voice. Are you watching this season?

A. Yes, we are watching The Voice.

5) Of all his albums, Michael Buble's Christmas CD is his top seller. Now that we're in the month of November it's time for you to weigh in: When do you think it's appropriate to start playing holiday songs?

A. I think it is appropriate to start playing them the day after Thanksgiving, but I know radio stations around here start playing at the first of the month.

6) He unwinds by fishing, and he's very good at it. Fishing is a sport that requires lots of gear. Is there anyone in your life that has a hobby or passion that makes them easy to shop for?

A. My husband hunts, so sometimes I can come up with something for that, but he generally has everything he needs now.

7) Michael is a good cook and enjoys whipping up spaghetti bolognese. What's on the menu at your home this weekend?

A. We are eating pork loin BBQ sandwiches this weekend.

8) In 2016, when Michael Buble released this song, the United States Postal Service posthumously honored child star Shirley Temple with a postage stamp. Decades after leaving Hollywood, she served as US Ambassador to Ghana. Could you find Ghana on a map or globe?

A. I honestly don't know. I know what continent it's on (Africa), but not sure exactly where.

9) Random question -- You neglected that soft drink and now it's gone flat. Do you drink it anyway or dump it down the drain?

A. I don't drink soft drinks, so moot question, but husband drinks them even if they are flat. I would not if I were still drinking such things.

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I encourage you to visit the posts of other participants in Saturday 9 and leave a comment. Because there are no rules, it is your choice. Saturday 9 players hate rules. We love memes, however. 

Thursday Thirteen

Back in August, I decided to try to get my stamina up by walking more. I have a chronic pain issue that makes things difficult, but I wanted to try to move past it. I could tell I really needed to be up and moving, having let a lot of my physical therapy exercises slide since 2020.

So, I started out on the treadmill and could manage 3 minutes before pain stopped me. I tried listening to music, then to audio books, and managed to get up to about 5 minutes, but the pain was making it difficult to get beyond such a small time on the treadmill. I knew I needed something to watch that (a) kept me deeply engrossed (so I wouldn't mind the pain so much); (b) greatly enjoyed; and (c) had subtitles because the treadmill is loud.

It turns out that Amazon Prime has all the seasons of Xena: Warrior Princess available - with subtitles! And it's free to watch for prime members.

So, I started watching Xena: Warrior Princess. I was a big fan of the show when it aired originally, but it had been over 20 years since I'd seen an episode.

It took me about a week to walk through episodes 1 and 2. And then I found I was up to 10 minutes before the pain had me stopping. So now it took me 4 days to get through a show.

And then I moved it up to 13 minutes. Then 15 minutes. And now I'm up to 20 minutes. I seem stuck there, so it takes me two days to watch one episode of the show, but that's ok. Twenty minutes a day is not bad and hopefully with time I can move it on up. I try but going longer really sets me back so for now it's better to hold on to where I am and occasionally test it to see if I can go a little longer without as much agony. I may never get past 20 minutes but that's 20 minutes I wasn't doing, right?

Anyway, I have always loved the show, and I thought I'd share 13 reasons why I do:

1. It has an empowering female protagonist. Xena, played by Lucy Lawless, is a strong, independent female lead who defies traditional gender roles. She kicks butt in a campy but enthralling way.

2. The show rests on an iconic duo. Every heroine needs a sidekick, and the relationship between Xena and Gabrielle (Renee O’Connor) is the heart of the show. Throughout the series, their relationship is showcased, and it's a deep and evolving friendship.

3. The series masterfully weaves Greek mythology with creative storytelling, featuring gods like Ares, Aphrodite, and Zeus. The first season also throws in some Biblical stories, and I know later seasons explore other religions, like Tao, Hinduism, etc.

4. The show delivers thrilling fight scenes, including Xena’s signature moves like her warrior cry and chakram throws. For some reason, I really like it when she uses her whip to get herself out of bad situations. She has many skills.

5. The show has a great character and story arc that the writers are fairly faithful to. It has moral complexity as Xena journeys from a ruthless warlord to a hero, seeking redemption.

6. The series tackles themes like love, betrayal, forgiveness, and destiny. It also touches on things like, do we have a soul mate, and the dead can hear our thoughts. Interesting ideas to think about. 

7. The show is campy and has lots of humor and wit. It has quirky characters like Joxer or the playful Aphrodite to help offset Xena's sometimes morose point of view.

8. Despite Xena's dark side, the show offers an inspirational message: we call can go on a quest for redemption and do good. Change is possible.

9. The show's a fantasy, with a mix of myth and history blended into it. 

10. It has memorable villains like Callisto, Caesar, and Alti. They are deeply engaging and provide Xena with formidable challenges.

11. The music score is great. It's the only TV show I ever bought the soundtrack to. It still pops up arbitrarily on my computer playlist sometimes. 

12. The storytelling is varied. Episodes range from epic battles to heartfelt character-driven stories, to light-hearted comedies.

13. Xena and Gabrielle travel across diverse landscapes, from Greece to Egypt, encountering new challenges and cultures.

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Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; there is a list here if you want to read other Thursday Thirteens and/or play along. I've been playing for a while, and this is my 884th time to do a list of 13 on a Thursday. Or so sayth the Blogger counter, anyway.

You Are Home

The Elephant Won

I have not commented on the November 4, 2024 election, and I'm not going to comment on it now, except to note that Kamala Harris lost. Her opponent took all the swing states and won the election. He won the popular vote by 1.7%, when you combine Harris's numbers with "other" votes, so the winner does not have the mandate he thinks he does. Still, he will claim it. All winners do.

And that's all I have to say about that, except to note that a pile of elephant excrement is a really, really big pile.

My Brilliant Friend - The HBO Series

I recently finished watching the last episode in the 4-season series of My Brilliant Friend.

Based on four books by Elena Ferrante, the series covered the special friendship of two young women from childhood into old age.

The series was filmed in Italian and thus we used subtitles to read the dialogue.

The first year of the series was 2018, I think, and then we had a season of the series drop every other year. It is unfortunate that it was such a long time between seasons because it was easy to forget minor yet important details. 

Additionally, in the last season, the two lead characters, as well as important minor characters, were played by completely different actresses to portray the aging of the girls. They are in the 40s through their 60s in the last season.

The young girls live in rather desolate circumstances in Naples, Italy in the 1950s. Their community is run by a type of mafia, and everyone is wary of these "bosses" and careful not to step on toes. The two young women are intelligent, more so than the other students in their class, and the teacher sees this. Elena is slightly better off financially than her friend Lila, and it is Elena who goes on to university to continue her studies, while Lila does not fare so well.

The series kept me captivated largely because it was an exploration of what it means to be a woman in a man's world. The story is told not through the obvious male gaze but from an objective point of view, which was refreshing. While the women were often viewed as sex objects, it was not the camera viewing them that way (think of a zoom-in on Wonder Woman's breast as a definition of the male gaze) but the men in the show. It was refreshing to see women portrayed as people who are objectified, not as not-quite-people who are always objectified, as women often are in many movies and series.

Elena and Lila have a rather unconventional friendship, one based upon their mutual respect for one another as well as their intelligence. They begin to believe in the power of the written word when one of them acquires a copy of Little Women, translated into Italian. The story buoys them throughout their childhood, with each attempting to overcome circumstances much like Jo March does in that particular book.

I found the series hard to watch at time as the young women were exploited and used by others, and occasionally by one another. I identified strongly with both characters; each seemed at times to be a part of myself - the one who wanted education and to be a writer, the other who ended up in a world she didn't necessarily want but managed to navigate.

The first book in this series did not set well with me when I read it. Perhaps something was lost in the translation, but I found the TV series much more enticing than the book. I did not read the rest of the book series after finding the first one not to my liking. I found the language stilted and pedantic, but it is not that way in the show. Or if it is, it is not as noticeable as it was in the book.

If you have an interest in the relationships of women, then I recommend this series. But it is not a happy series. This is serious drama covering a serious topic that receives little attention as it is.

Forty-one Years Ago

Today is my wedding anniversary. I have been married to the same man for 41 years.

Marriage is not easy. It is hard work, especially when you have two strong-willed and stubborn people living together. I was not and never will be a submissive wife. In fact, I removed that word "obey" from our wedding vows. Love, honor, and cherish only in this marriage. None of that obeying stuff on either party's part.

We both look at each other sometime and say, "Didn't we just get married about three weeks ago?" but there is a lifetime of memories behind those words.

There is the day we met.

The day we wed.

The day we moved into the home we built ourselves, each of us pounding nails.

The day I had the first of many surgeries, almost a month to the day after I went off birth control so we could try for a baby.

The day I finally had a hysterectomy, and the knowledge that the idea of a child was no more.

The days he became a lieutenant and each successive promotion after, until he became a battalion chief for the fire department in the nearby city.

The death of my mother and the death of his father.

The births of our nephews and my niece, and now my grand niece and nephew.

The day he caught his arm in the hay baler and the long recovery from that accident.

The day he had his ankle fused together.

The day he had his hip surgery.

So many days, all of them flying by as we aged, and time moved faster and faster as we acknowledged that our time was growing less with each passing moment.

 Those early jokes we made to one another about being old - now almost a reality (neither of us have dentures, but we have mouth guards).

And here we are, still holding hands when we walk through the store, still kissing in the parking lot, still holding on to each tightly in spite of the bad times and the good.

Still laughing at private jokes, making up silly songs to sing to one another, still learning who the other person is, even after all these years, because people wake anew every day, and you have to learn it all over again.

God love him, he has put up with a lot of crazy from me, with my creative bent leading me down strange paths, from writing to newspapers to editing books and doing other things that make a heart happy and a bank account poor.

Marrying him was the best day of my life. I hope it was the same for him, and I think it was.

Love. It's what the world is all about.

Sunday Stealing

1. When do you feel most authentically yourself?

A. I feel I am myself around my husband, my friends, and when I am writing. I am also myself when I am playing music.

2. What are you thankful for today?

A. Today I am thankful for my husband, who went out to run errands. On Monday, we are celebrating our anniversary.

3. Name a memory you hope you never forget.

A. I hope I never forget the day I married.

4. What are ways you connect with long distant friends?

A. I email them, send instant messages or texts to them, or write a real letter to them. I also occasionally call some of them.

5. How do you reconnect with yourself when you feel lost?

A. I usually go to sleep. After I wake up, I am more myself.

6. What would be your signature drink if you owned a café?

A. The Writer's Block would be an iced coffee, almost a slushie type of drink, with a big ice cube in it and a splash of Irish whisky.

7. What is something you’ve let go of as you've grown older?

A. I have let go of the idea that I have to always be doing something.

8. What are the things you're most likely to lie about?

A. I am most likely to tell white lies. "Does this look good on me?" "Well, of course!" Even if it doesn't. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.

9. What’s something you wish you had more time to learn?

A. I wish I had more time to learn how to drive a spaceship away from this planet.

10. List social media trends that puzzle you.

A. All social media trends puzzle me.

11. List local phrases and terms you use often.

A. "Cut off the light," which means to turn off the light. "Fixin' to," which means getting ready to go do something. "Bless your heart," which means either that's sad or not, depending on word emphasis and/or context. And then there's "over yonder" which means, well, over there somewhere.

12. If you could only wear only three colors, what would they be?

A. Black, blue, and purple.

13. What are your favorite books, music, tv, movies, and media this month?

A. This month is only half over, but we have been enjoying West Wing, which we somehow missed the first go-round.

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I encourage you to visit other participants in Sunday Stealing posts and leave a comment. Cheers to all us thieves who love memes, however we come by them.

Saturday 9: My Girl

Saturday 9: My Girl (1965)

Unfamiliar with this week's song? Hear it here.

1) Temptations' lead singer David Ruffin sings that he has sunshine on a cloudy day. How does the sky look where you are today?

A. The sky today is partly cloudy. Some blues, some puffy white clouds, and a few dark clouds hang over the tops of the mountains.

2) He maintains that even when it's cold outside, to him it feels like the month of May. What's your favorite month?

A. I'll go with June.

3) In addition to their vocals, The Temptations were known for their stylish suits and choreography. Are you a better dancer or dresser?

A. I am neither a dancer nor a good dresser. 

4) Today, nearly 60 years since its release, "My Girl" is one of the most popular karaoke songs. Do you know the words?

A. I know some of them. "I guess you'd say what could make me feel this way? My girl. Talking 'bout my girl." Some of the lines are coming back to me now. This is not a song I've spent a lot of time learning.

5) The Temptations delighted Mets fans when they performed "My Girl" live at Citi Field during the playoffs last month. The World Series is now over and the 2024 season is on the books. How did your baseball team do?

A. I do not have a baseball team.

6) "My Girl" was written by Ronald White and Smokey Robinson. Smokey grew up with Aretha Franklin, and he's said they played together in the sandbox. When you were little, which playground activity was your favorite: sandbox, jungle gym, swings or slide? 

A. I was not a fan of any of those activities. The jungle gym was for the bigger kids, generally. The swings were always taken, and the slide burned your butt in the hot sun. I don't think we had a sandbox.

7) In 1965, when "My Girl" topped the charts, Winston Churchill died. One of his favorite sayings was, "I am always ready to learn but I do not always like to be taught." What's something you learned recently?

A. I learned about a disease called lipedema when my doctor suggested I have it. She can't actually diagnosis it and apparently neither can anyone else in this end of the state. There is no cure if I have it. Lipedema is an abnormal fat buildup on both sides of your lower body, usually in your legs. But it can also be in your arms. It can cause pain and make daily activities difficult. Lipedema doesn’t respond to diet and exercise like ordinary fat. It is a hereditary disease.

8) British-born comedian Stan Laurel also died in 1965. He's been cited as an influence on Jerry Lewis, Dick Van Dyke and Matt LeBlanc. Without looking it up, do you know who Stan Laurel's famous partner was?

A. Hardy. Laurel and Hardy.

9) Random question: Imagine we Sat 9-ers are taking you to a restaurant for your birthday. Do you find servers who sing "Happy Birthday" cute or annoying?

A. I generally find it annoying, but it only happens once a year, so it's ok if it happens.

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I encourage you to visit the posts of other participants in Saturday 9 and leave a comment. Because there are no rules, it is your choice. Saturday 9 players hate rules. We love memes, however.