Gladys Marie Taylor Bruffy - 3/20/1920 - 4/25/2017

My grandmother passed away yesterday morning. She was 97 years old.

She lived in California and since I am in Virginia, we did not get to know one another as well as I would have liked.

I last saw her around 1988. She and my grandfather came to Virginia to visit. My husband and I had finished building our house; I do remember that. My grandmother thought we had made a nice home and I remember how much she liked my husband.

Otherwise, our visits consisted of one around 1972, another about 1978, and another in 1981. Those are the times she and my grandfather came here. In 1976, my parents drove us out to California and I saw her then, too. But those were short visits, with family always around. I never spent much alone time with her.

I know she loved to cook. I have her secret recipe for a delightful chocolatey dish that she called chocolate lush, but otherwise her cooking skills are not mine. She liked to fish, hunt mushrooms, and camp before she became too old to find that enjoyable. She loved my grandfather, and he played guitar and she would sing with him. After my grandfather passed away, she read a lot. She once told me she read over 100 books a year.

For years, we spoke on the phone frequently until her hearing became bad, and then she started thinking I was her cleaning lady calling to change the schedule because she couldn't hear what I was saying. I remembering screaming into the phone: "It's your granddaughter in Virginia."  I switched to letters, but they were one-way; she did not write back though for a while I did receive a Christmas card. By that time she was in her early 80s and having health problems, specifically some kind of pancreatitis. I'm sure she had other health concerns as well.

Her last years were spent in a nursing home and she had dementia of some kind. I still wrote her, sending cards and short letters in large type that I hoped either she could see or someone would read to her. The letters never said much - we were well, my husband had been promoted, I was still writing or not, I'd had a surgery - whatever little newsy thing I thought might interest her. I never knew until today if she actually received them - a cousin sent me a Facebook note telling me she had kept them all. That makes me kind of sad and glad at the same time. I hope they brought her some comfort, to know that I thought of her, if she knew who I was still.

Regrets are strange creatures. I do regret that I did not know my father's parents as well as I would have liked. I knew both of them more through letters and phone calls than via personal contact. As anyone who has friends only through Facebook or email these days knows, that is a different relationship than the one in which you receive hugs and kisses. Not a bad relationship, but different.

My grandparents had other grandchildren out in California who, I am sure, knew them well. My grandmother outlived three of her four children, with my father being the last one still alive. Her son's son took over her care when he passed away and I know he and his wife were close to her. He, I know, could write a better post about her life than I.

Before I wrote this, I sifted through old photos, hoping I had a picture of her as I remember her, but I do not. I have only photos of her in her 80s and 90s, and I never saw her as that age. I remember her as she looked about the age I am now, I think, with graying hair and a few wrinkles.

My father, my grandmother, and my brother. I think this
photo was taken about three years ago, but I am not sure.

Death is a strange thing. I think we don't really deal with it well in this country - we think people should live forever. That kind of thinking does a disservice to the reality of being human, but that is where we are.

My grandfather wrote several poems. I think I shall reprint one of his favorites here, because my grandparents came from West Virginia before they moved west in 1964. They were happy in California, but my grandfather, at least, called the Blue Ridge home. Since they are together now, it seems right to me to share this.


Take me back to Shenandoahwhere the wild red roses grow.
To my home below the Blue Ridge
With old friends I used to know.

I hear the sound of children laughing
And they sound so bright and gay.
Like the tinkle of the banjo
in the valley, far away.

I hear the sound of cattle lowing
high up on a hill. And in the valley
far below calls a whippoorwill.

How I long for Shenandoah
where magnolia blossoms blow
To my home below the Blue Ridge
And old friends I used to know.

So bury me deep in the valley
where the old James River flows.
Close to my home in the Blue Ride
and old friends I used to know.

By Joe Bruffey
3/6/89

Picking Up the Crayons Again

Medium: Crayola Crayons

Meanwhile, Back on the Farm

We had a new calf born in front of the house this weekend.



Newly born.

Needs a good licking.

Lots to clean off!

First try at standing up.

Oops. Didn't make it that time!



Now the little one is up!

Here I am!



Mom and baby, maybe an hour + old.

Sunday Stealing: The Time Questions

Sunday Stealing: The Money Time Questions

1. What are five passions that you have? (If you have less than five, tell us what you do have interests.)

A. Taking care of my husband, writing, reading, computer games, and photography.

2. List up to ten random facts about yourself.

A. (1) I'm over 50. (2) I bite my fingernails. (3) I am an emotional eater. (4) I have hazel eyes. (5) My nose is a little crooked. (6) I play the guitar. (7) I like older TV shows. (8) My favorite songs are from the 1970s. (9) I have night terrors. (10) I have nine dictionaries on my desk.

3. List five people (personal, historic, living or dead) who have had a major impact on your life or the way you think.

A. My family, my therapists (more than one), my teachers (also more than one), Brenda Ueland (author of If You Want to Write: A Book about Art, Independence, and Spirit), the fictional character, Nancy Drew.
  
4. List 5 things you'd tell your 15 year-old self, if you could.

A. (1) Leave the Roanoke Valley as soon as you can and don't look back. (2) Learn the Eastern healing arts of yoga, meditation, tai chi, and acupuncture. (3) Find a well-paying career (writing novels isn't it). (Maybe something in computers.) (4)  Travel as much as you can. (5) Even if you don't do any of that, your life will turn out okay.
 
5. What is a major strength that you have? (You can list more than one. Staying with our no rules approach.)

A. I am resilient. I may not come back in the same way as before, but I will come back.

6. What is a major weakness that you have? (You can list more than one. STILL staying with our no rules approach.)

A. I'm a procrastinator.

7. Describe the family dynamic of your childhood versus your family dynamic now.

A. Childhood: much yelling and screaming.  Now: very little yelling and screaming, if any.

8. What popular notion do you feel that the world has most wrong?

A. That unregulated capitalism is the greatest economic system. We need regulations.

9. Name three things that always cheers you up when you are down.

A. A kiss from my husband, a favorite song on the radio, and an unexpected communication from a friend.

10. Name three things would you like to be remembered for?

A. My writing, making a difference in the community, and being a good person.

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I encourage you to visit other participants in Sunday Stealing posts and leave a comment. Cheers to all us thieves who love memes, however we come by them.

Saturday 9: Don't Sleep in the Subway

Saturday 9: Don't Sleep in the Subway (1967)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) Subways can be bright and noisy. Do you need it dark and quiet before you can fall asleep?

A. I can fall asleep in front of the TV in the recliner, but in the bedroom I need it dark, and I sleep with an air purifier on high for white noise. Otherwise I hear the refrigerator or the dishwasher and wake up.

2) In this song, Petula encourages her lover to talk it out instead of walking out. Do you usually remain reasonable during a disagreement?

A. It depends on the disagreement and the person with whom I am disagreeing.

3) Petula was a child star in England during WWII. Her BBC broadcasts were very popular with the British troops, who nicknamed her The Singing Sweetheart. Soldiers pasted her photo onto their tanks for luck as they went into battle. Do you have any little rituals or good luck charms that calm/comfort you when you're afraid?

A. I ask my husband to sing "Soft Kitty" to me when I am in a lot of pain. It's about the only thing he can sing that is almost in tune. Otherwise, no.

4) Now 84, she recently told London's Daily Mail that she's surprised and thrilled to have found love again with a new man. Do you believe you'll ever be too old for romance?

A. I don't think you're ever to old to love someone.

5) Her family is far flung. She lives in London, her middle daughter is in Paris, her son is in Los Angeles and her oldest daughter lives in New York with Petula's two grandchildren. Who is your nearest friend or relative? Which one is farthest away?

A. My nearest friend is four miles away; my nearest family member is six miles away. My father's family, including my 97-year-old grandmother, live out in California. (I am in Virginia. Opposite sides of the U.S., if you're geographically challenged.)

6) In 1967, when this song was popular, Rolling Stone published its first issue. John Lennon was on the cover. Publisher Jann Wenner reports that, either individually or as a group, the members of The Beatles have appeared on the most Rolling Stone covers. What's the first Beatle song that comes to mind?

A. Something in the Way She Moves.

7) In 1967, Star Trek was in its second season on NBC. Who is your favorite Star Trek character?

A. Original series: Captain James T. Kirk (played by William Shatner). But my very favorite in the Star Trek world is Captain Kathryn Janeway (played by Kate Mulgrew) from Star Trek: Voyager.

8) RANDOM QUESTION: When you slip into jeans or slacks, which foot do you put in first?

A. Right.

9) As you considered #8, did you mime pulling on your pants?

A. No. I'm right-handed; that side is always taken care of first.



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I encourage you to visit other participants in Saturday 9 posts and leave a comment. Because there are no rules, it is your choice. Saturday 9 players hate rules. We love memes, however.

The Return of the Pansies

I did not purchase pansies to plant this year. I have them, nevertheless. They came up first in February, then died during a cold snap in March.

And here they are again. Oddly, they have sprang up in my flower bed in a nice row even though they were planted in a whisky barrel last year.

Thursday Thirteen

1. When it is 7:27 on a Thursday morning and I have no Thursday 13 prepared, it's time for my brain to think.

2. However, my brain tends not to work so well in the mornings anymore.


My Lumosity scores. I am in the 90th percentile
for my age group.

3. That is why I am playing the "brain games" at Lumosity. They are supposed to challenge you and increase your gray matter. Practice must help because my overall score has risen by over 300 points since I began playing in October. (It has dropped in the last month, but I had the respiratory thing and suspect that contributed to a decline.)

4. Did you know physical exercise can make you think better? If you get up and move around, your long-term memory, reasoning, attention, problem-solving, and other intelligence tasks improve. Really!




Let's get physical!

5. The reason humanity has survived is because of our brains, not our brawn. Our brain is a survival organ that evolved as humans had to solve problems related to survival in terrible environments. Without it, you wouldn't be around long enough to procreate and pass on your genetic material. "We were not the strongest on the planet but we developed the strongest brains, the key to our survival. … The strongest brains survive, not the strongest bodies. … " - The Week

6. Every brain is wired differently. It is wrong to assume all brains are the same, that all children can learn at the same rate, that we all think the same way. Brains are affected by every action and life event - it literally rewires the individual brain when something happens.



Turn off your phone if you
want to learn a song.

7. We are not meant to multi-task. You may be able to walk and talk and chew gum at the same time, but higher level tasks should be performed one by one. Today, workplaces and schools encourage doing multiple things at once and the rate of error increases with every activity added. "Research shows your error rate goes up 50 percent and it takes you twice as long to do things. When you're always online you're always distracted. So the always online organization is the always unproductive organization." - The Week

8. Our attention span only lasts about 10 minutes. Then we need to reboot.



How'd you sleep last night?

9. Sleeping helps your brain work better. Lack of sleep means you're literally losing your mind. Sleep loss inhibits thinking in all measurable ways. It makes you less attentive, worsens your memory, sours your mood, and impedes your logical reasoning ability.

10. Brains need naps. Most people find the 3 p.m. hour to be difficult and eat a power bar or something, but what you really need is a nap. About 12 hours after the midpoint of your sleep, your brain wants a rest. That's why it makes no sense to schedule a 3 p.m. meeting. (Or surgery. Must remember that next time. Wait until morning if you can.)

11. Stress lowers brain function. Brains today still are on saber-tooth tiger time - reflecting on dangers that lasted about 30 seconds. Brains aren't designed for long-term stress like dealing with a bad boss, marriage, or inappropriately raised children. Stress literally makes your brain smaller. It damages memory and executive function and impairs motor skills. Stress disrupts your immune system. The longer you're stressed, the sicker you get. It disrupts sleep. It causes depression. (See how that cycle kicks in there?)


This is my eye!

12.  Vision is the best of our senses. We remember pictures better than anything else. Information we hear vanishes: we only remember about 10 percent of that. Throw in a power point picture and we remember 65 percent of the info. Reading is also inefficient because our brain sees words as tiny pictures. (I guess now I need to take drawing lessons.)

13. Male and female brains are different. Neither is better, they're just different. Sex-based differences are best noted in psychiatric disorders. Men are afflicted by schizophrenia more than women. Women are more likely to become depressed than men. Males have more antisocial behavior. Females have more anxiety. Most alcoholics and drug addicts are male. Most people who have anorexia are female. These differences are a product of complex interactions between nature and nurture.

Information taken from The Week: 12 Things We Know About the Brain.

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Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; there is a list here if you want to read other Thursday Thirteens and/or play along. I've been playing for a while and this is my 496th time to do a list of 13 on a Thursday.

Dogwood Blooms

This year one of my two dogwoods has bloomed out beautifully, despite the weird weather. The other one did not fare as well but this one has been exceptional.

 

The Man Cannot Sit Still

New Career?

Sporting Memory

I am into sports about as much as a potato might be, so when I saw a friend asking, "What's your favorite sports memory?" on Facebook, I skipped the question and moved on.

However, I started thinking about it. I actually have two athletic memories that mean something to me.

One took place in the fourth grade. Back then (you know, the Dark Ages), the schools tested students every half year or so. Teachers made you run the 500-yard dash, climb a rope, and perform athletic feats that generally were beyond me. If I was going to get a "B" in anything, it was gym. (I always received points for trying; I am persistent that way.) I stayed sick (no one knew I had asthma back then), and running was not easy for me.

In the fourth grade, though, Donna and I were to race the 500-yard dash together. Donna was my friend and I didn't want to disappoint her. Being one of those kids who tended to have to walk at least the last quarter of the run, that was a possibility.

When Mrs. Lanning blew the whistle so we could start the run, Donna was beside me, and she set a nice steady pace. I matched it. Together we ran the 500-yard dash, the whole thing, and we did it in one minute and 58 seconds. I remember the time specifically because I was never able to repeat it and the two-minute mark eluded me ever after.

What a joy that was, to actually run the entire way and do it in an acceptable time.

My other athletic memory involves baseball. I suppose it was really softball. I think this was in the fifth grade. The class had split into two groups for a ball game - I, of course, was always one of the last picked - and I was sent to the far outfield. I'm afraid I was one of those girls who would cover her head if the ball came in her direction and turn around for fear it was going to hit me in the nose. Should that happen, then I would be Marsha Brady with a busted nose all over again.

Usually I did not have a glove, but for some reason I managed to grab a glove when I went out to the field. I recall a beautiful spring day, like the one we have today, perhaps, with the sky azure and an occasional cloud drifting by. A light breeze blew the dandelions.

The pop fly came toward me out of nowhere. I could hear the groans from my teammates as they saw where the ball was headed. Bases were loaded and I was going to drop the thing and we were going to lose.

From somewhere deep inside me, the courage sprang into my throat. I took two steps forward and the ball went "plop" right into my glove. I felt the sting in my right hand and I covered the ball with my left to be sure I didn't drop it.

The thing I remember most was the admiration of the boys on the perfect catch. I didn't shy away and I caught it beautifully; it was the third out and we won the game. I was the heroine of the afternoon, queen for the moment. I never shone again in a team sport, but for one glorious afternoon, life was good.

I ran the race and I caught the ball.

What more could a little girl want?

The Baby Giraffe

Saturday brought a delivery of sorts in the form of a baby giraffe.

April the giraffe had her little one, a boy, on April 15, 2017. The baby weighed in at 129 pounds, 5'9" a day after his birth, according to reports I saw.

I just happened to tune in to the youtube live stream just in time to see little hooves stick out of mama April. I squealed.

Yes, I admit it. I squealed. That was around 7:40 a.m.

I watched for most of the entire time, along with 1.25 million other people. I did a few other things - answered email, ate my breakfast at my keyboard - but mostly I kept an eye on the progress of this birth.

How often does one have the opportunity to watch a giraffe begin born, after all? Even if it is via a satellite stream.

The labor took a few hours, with feet and legs dangling for an hour. Had this been a cow, we might have gone ahead and pulled it, to be sure of a live birth, but the vet kept sticking his thumb in front of the camera in a thumb's up sign, assuring us breathless viewers that all was well.

I sat in front of my computer shouting, "Come on April! Push! You can do it!" It was rather like the way my husband yells at sports teams.

The baby's head came out of April, and then the little giraffe's birth occurred rather quickly. Just before 10 a.m., he slid what seemed a very long way to the floor, landing in a motionless heap. I held my breath, watching, and then I saw it move. Whew.

Momma giraffe immediately commenced her ministrations, licking at the little body to clean it, warm it, and nurture it.

At about 10:35 a.m., little baby giraffe stood up. He wobbled unsteadily on those very long skinny legs. I gave another cheer.

Here are a few stills from the live stream that I have taken creative license with:



April helping the little one to its feet for the first time. Oliver, the baby's dad, is in the other cage.

Mom and baby after a couple of hours.



A little maternal kiss.

The feed is still up if you want to watch the little one grow. You can access it here. (If he has wandered into the corner where the cameras are, you won't see him. Back up the feed and you can see him if that happens.)

Sunday Stealing: The Place Questions

Sunday Stealing: The Place for Patrick Questions


1. If "happiness" was the global currency, what kind of work would make you a gazillionaire?

A. Writing, reading, looking outside and watching nature - introverted things.

2. Would you break the law to save someone you loved?  And, if so, how far would you be willing to take it?

A. Yes, I would break the law to save someone (not necessarily even someone I love). I would take it all the way, I guess, to the point of my death.

3. Is it possible to really know the truth without questioning it first?

A. Is it possible to answer this question without thinking about it? Before one knows the truth, one must know one's definition of truth, yes? Faith and belief are not the same as truth - or are they? And are only facts truth, or is truth more than facts?

4. Do you remember that one time . . . oh, about 5 years ago or so . . . when you were really, really upset?  Does it really matter now? If not now, then when?

A. I remember many times when I was really, really upset, and it mattered more at the time then it does now. Some of the "upsets" obtained results, some not.

5. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?

A. No.

6. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?

A. Wear shorts.

7. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?

A. More work that I actually enjoy doing. I have not been able to work for some time due to health issues, and I think I would rather work - or do something - than not.

8. Would you rather be an anxious genius, or a tranquil fool?

A. I'm already an anxious genius. It's not all it's cracked up to be. However, I have no desire to be a fool. I wouldn't mind being a tranquil genius, though.

9. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?

A. I worry about both in equal parts.

10. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?

A. I'd be my present age in my mind and 18 in my body.

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I encourage you to visit other participants in Sunday Stealing posts and leave a comment. Cheers to all us thieves who love memes, however we come by them.