Thursday Thirteen #410

I'm going to be honest - I'm having a tough time with Thursday Thirteen today. Yesterday my community was violated when two young journalists were gunned down on live TV. I have been in the news business for 30 years, so while I'm not a TV reporter, I have been part of the media. I always considered these folks colleagues. I had met the young cameraman and spoken with him at a local meeting some time ago. He was personable and I remember he stepped out of my way so I could take a photo (cameramen often don't do that). I remember thinking then that he was a nice guy.

I could do thirteen reasons why we should have tighter gun regulations. I will only say if you think the background checks we have in place are sufficient, you're an idiot. I have bought guns and the background checks, at least here in Virginia, are a joke. I'm not saying don't buy your gun. I'm just saying that there needs to be better checks on the people who buy and own guns. You have to have a license to drive a car. You should at least have to pass some kind of test to own a gun. And I really don't care what you think the Second Amendment says. This isn't 1776 and we don't use muskets now.

Or I could do something completely different - 13 butterfly types, perhaps. But my heart really isn't in it this morning. I tried yesterday to write a blog post about how I was feeling and gave up after a couple of sentences.

I had no words.

Ironically, last week for Thursday Thirteen I listed various stages of depression and how you could help a friend. The information is out there - are we paying attention?

I still don't know what to say. So I think today I will list all of the emotions that I and many other folks felt yesterday, though maybe the feelings were not in this order.


1. Confusion. When the incident happened, live on the air, it was hard to believe what you were seeing. Was it real? Were those really gunshots?

2. Shock. As it became clear to all that something awful had happened, shock crept in. How could this happen? How could this happen here? Who could do this?

3. Fear. There was, in the parlance of the day, a "live shooter" loose in the area. Who was safe now? Were the children at the schools alright? Would he go back to the newsroom to finish the job? Who else would this person kill?

4. Concern. We watched these folks on TV every day. Media people become a part of your day and your routine. You see their faces over and over, you hear emotions in their voices. You may not have personally met them but you think you know them. You're comfortable with them. Now you're worried about them, and their colleagues.

5. Heightened Awareness. Social media and the internet gives such things an immediacy that has never been experienced by humanity prior to the last 20 years. Suddenly we are interacting with the folks in the newsroom who are trying to understand what happened. It's like watching a car wreck. Everyone slows down to gawk. We can't help it, even though we know we should move along.

6. Denial. You can't believe this happened. Not here. Not in our little community. Not at the place where folks go to fish and eat and have a nice outing. Not during a story about tourism, for heaven's sake. They weren't covering a riot. They were in Moneta at the lake.

7. Anger. How dare he! How dare this man invade our lives and our community. How dare he take the lives of two young people, people who had done nothing wrong. People who were just out doing their jobs.

8. Hope. The hope comes with the chase. The police has to catch this guy. This is where hope happens in such a situation. We want this man captured and justice wrought.

9. Despair. We learn that the young people have died. We despair. We rage at the sins of the world, the evil, the things we cannot control.

10.  Bargaining. Please God, bring this man to justice. Please God, give comfort to the family and friends of the ones who were killed. Please God, step in and make this better. Heal us and make us whole.

11. Sadness. Two young lives taken. People crying on TV. How can we not cry with them?

12. Violation. We also all felt violated. This man took something from us, the viewers, the other media, and the community. Even though I know from my work and from my husband's work as a first responder how much violation actually goes on here, day in and day out, this felt much more personal. We could not remove ourselves from this because we were watching it play out live on TV, and then it played out even more on social media.

13. Acceptance. At some point, we will move on. Roanoke will move forward. WDBJ will regroup and hire new people and the news will continue. Unfortunately, I think in today's world we are forced to reach this emotion much too soon - to accept the loss and get on with job of worshipping the dollar bills as quickly as possible. We are all walking around wounded, each and every one of us, simply from living our lives, and we do not allow ourselves the time it takes to heal.

Emotions are tough and tricky things. Sometimes we go through them in rapid succession - they move so quickly through us that we don't even realize that in the space of five minutes we've felt 13 different things. We're not very good at analyzing ourselves, I think. We're not taught to, we're taught to shrug it off and stride on through. Sometimes though, you need to reflect. And then perhaps you need to act.



Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; there is a list here if you want to read other Thursday Thirteens and/or play along. I've been playing for a while and this is my 410th time to do a list of 13 on a Thursday.

Getting Rid of Stuff

We have lived in our home since 1987. Having not moved in 28 years, we have had no cause to go through drawers, closets, nooks and crannies.

While we are not hoarders (yet), we have a lot of stuff. Much of it is stuff we've been given over the years - items from deceased great aunts or grandparents, gifts we've received for birthdays and Christmas.

Some items I received when we married 32 years ago are still in use, and greatly appreciated. But other things are hidden in the dark recesses of forgotten areas of our small house.

And I don't how to get rid of it.

The easiest way would be to give it to Goodwill, but I have a bit of a moral problem with Goodwill. It does provide job opportunities for folks some consider unemployable, but its CEO makes a fortune, and there are rumors that it does not properly pay its employees. This article in Huffington Post calls it "a charity racket." I don't know if it is true.

Living in a rural area means yard sales are not the way to go. No one drives up my very long driveway to see what is available. That means if I want to sell items, I have to pack them up and haul them someplace to do that. For that I need my husband's help, and he seems to have an aversion to helping me with that task. The last time I tried that was in July of 2009 or thereabouts, and I nearly had heat stroke from the sun.

We have a few consignment stores but I don't know anything about them. I know one of them takes a 50 percent cut of whatever it sells - is that normal? I don't know. It seems like a lot but then again, they are helping me to rid myself of unwanted goods.

Books I donate to the library. I still have too many.

There are a few other charities in the area, but they all require more effort to get to than I can manage in my present state. Plus, I'll be honest, there is a part of me that wants the $5 for the old whatsit or the $3 for the thingamajig.

Some days I want to rent a dumpster and just haul load after load into the trash. But that seems a waste when someone else can use it. Plus I'm a bit of an environmentalist and don't want to muck up the landfill.

So how do you get rid of your stuff? What's your secret to decluttering and throwing away a lifetime?

The Maleness of Mother Nature

Sometimes you just can't help but see it.

Not Swayed By Pretty Packages (or Chirping Birds)

From Sunday Stealing

Birds Are Chirping Meme

1. Name a product you buy mostly because it has a cool package.

A. I can't think of anything. Sorry. I'm generally not swayed by pretty packages.
 
2. What flavor cake do you like for your birthday?

A. White inside with white icing.
 
3. Have you ever been in love with someone much older or younger than you?

A. My husband is four years older than I. I doubt that counts as "much."
 
4. Have you ever had a job you loved?

A. Yes. When I was freelancing and doing it well, paying the bills with it and everything, I was very happy. Then the economy crashed, and every out-of-work journalist became a freelancer, and I went back to school to obtain my masters degree. Then I had surgery and now I just blog. I don't make any money blogging, but then again, I am not trying to, either.

5.  Have you ever been in a building that was on fire?

A. Yes. My parents house was struck by lightning and it caught on fire. I went into it while it was smoldering. I also took pictures of a controlled structure burn for the newspaper once and went inside.
 
6. Are you in an argument with anyone right now?

A. No.
 
7. Would you change your hair color to something outrageous if you would get paid to?

A. It would depend on the amount of money, I suppose. A million dollars? Bring me the bleach. $10? No thanks.
 
8. Have you ever written a poem for someone?

A. Yes.
 
9. What is a place you’ve vacationed at and would like to go back to?

A. Colonial Williamsburg in Virginia.
 
10. Do you eat samples at the grocery store?

A. Generally, no. I think they are germy.
 
11. What do you absolutely have to have to make your birthday feel special?

A. It is special is someone remembers it. I don't need anything but good wishes. Well, a piece of cake is nice but not a necessity.
 
12. What’s the last tourist area you visited?

A. Myrtle Beach, SC
 
13. Where do you go out to eat for a special occasion?

A. We generally go to Coach and Four, a locally owned restaurant that has been here for longer than we've been married. It is where my husband proposed and I can still show the booth we were sitting in when he pulled out the ring.

14. When was the last time you went to a post office?

A. Just last week.

15. Is there an item you are saving up to buy right now?

A. I'm saving up to pay off my car loan. Does that count?
 
16. Are you psychic in any way?

A. I knew you were going to ask that question. Of course I am. Everyone is. They're just not tuned into it.
 
17. Do you prefer a laptop or desktop? Which are you on now?

A. Desktop, and that is what I am using now.
 
18. Have you ever received a gift and truly did not know what it was?

A. I seem to remember receiving some kind of hair-curling hickey-doo from my grandparents in California when I was about 8 years old that left me clueless.
 
19. What’s your homepage?

A. This blog.

20. Is there a thing you enjoy doing, but quit because you are not good at it?

A. I like to draw, but I am not good at it, so I don't do it. I took a couple of courses in it in college but I've forgotten everything except for "negative space."

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I encourage you to visit other participants in Sunday Stealing posts and leave a comment. Cheers to all us thieves who love memes, however we come by them.

Hello, Vampire

Saturday 9: Hello, Dolly (1964)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) This song is about a woman returning to the town where she was happiest. How many towns have you lived in?

A. I've lived in two different areas but in eight different houses in my lifetime. I think that's right. Or at least close. I've never lived more than 50 miles from where I was born.

2) Crazy Sam played Ernestina in her high school production of Hello, Dolly! and still remembers one of her lines: "Hey, you with the big ears! What are you doing after the show?" Tell us something that you memorized for school that is still rattling around in your brain.

A. Half a league, half a league, half a league onward! Into the valley of death rode the six hundred. Cannons to the left of them, cannons to the right of them, volleyed and thundered! Into the valley of death rode the six hundred.

There's also this: Gentlemen may cry peace! Peace! But there is no peace. Is life so dear and peace so sweet as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? I know not what course others may take, but as for me, give me liberty or give me death.

I'm not sure if either of those are right. But they rattle in my brain.

3) This week's featured artist, Louis Armstrong, got his start entertaining diners on riverboat dinner cruises. Have you ever taken a dinner cruise?

A. I have not. I have had dinner, though.

4) Armstrong took his nickname, "Satchmo," from "Satchel Mouth" -- a slang term for someone with a wide mouth, which Louis believed was his most distinguishing feature. What do you think people notice first about you?

A. Probably my glasses, followed by my girth.

5) In 1936, Louis became the first African American to get featured billing in a Hollywood movie. Have you seen any of this summer's big movies?

A. No. We seldom go to the movies. 


6) When "Hello, Dolly" composer Jerry was growing up, he was close to an aunt named Belle who encouraged his love of music. Tell us about one of your aunts or uncles.

A. One of my uncles is one year younger than I am, and he was born on my first birthday.

7) Though famous for composing the scores of Hello, Dolly!, Mame and La Cage Aux Folles, Jerry Herman can't read music. Can you?

A. I can read music a little but not proficiently. I tend to "play by ear," as they call it.

8) Now retired, Mr. Herman lives in Miami. This is Miami's "wet season," which lasts into October. When did it last rain where you are?

A. Thursday.

9) Random question: Have you suffered a sunburn this summer?

A. No. I am a vampire, I do not go out into the sun.


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I encourage you to visit other participants in Saturday 9 posts and leave a comment. Because there are no rules, it is your choice. Saturday 9 players hate rules. We love memes, however.

Dear Dr. Dumbass

For some time now, I have wanted to write a letter to the doctor who performed surgery on me two years ago and tell him exactly what I think of him and his arrogant, asinine attitude.

I keep thinking I should let it go, that it would serve no purpose, that I might even get sued for libel or something if I wrote it. Because let's face it, the jerk probably would do that, even he even read the letter.

It occurred to me, though, that I could, in fact, make a public declaration to Dr. Dumbass here on my blog. I've never mentioned Dr. Dumbass by name, so it could be any doctor in the world, really. And I fear this probably applies to many doctors, surgeons or not.

So for my own peace of mind, and because it is time, here is my letter.

Dear Dr. Dumbass:

I am sure you do not remember me. I initially met with you on a Thursday in late June two years ago, and after a cursory look at a radiology report and brief thump on my stomach, you agreed that my gallbladder needed to come out.

After hearing that I'd been constantly sick to my stomach for the better part of eight days (and dropped 12 pounds or so in the process), you said you had some time open the following afternoon and could do the surgery then. We raced off to do the prep work required by the hospital, getting the forms and bloodwork and all of that take care of, as you requested.

I told you multiple times that I'd had previous surgeries. You waved off my concerns about adhesions and scar tissue. "Never causes a problem," you said.

So that Friday we placed my life into your hands. I was terrified, and while the nurses were reassuring, you were not. You barely acknowledged my presence when you came in. You should have treated me as a special aunt, a family member, someone you cared about. I am not sure you ever even knew my name. I was just "fat body A" who needed a cut or two, I think.

My husband overheard you tell someone that you needed to get through the surgery quickly because you had a tennis match to get to.

I sincerely hope that whoever you were playing beat the hell out of you during that game. Maybe they threw a tennis racket at you and hit you upside the head.

You did your job. You took out my gallbladder. You forgot to leave orders for post-op pain killers, though, and I lay in agony for several hours before the nursing staff could run down someone who could tell them to administer the big gun drugs. My 23-hour stay at the hospital was like a badly performed circus routine from that point on, so much so that my husband was afraid to leave me for fear something else might go wrong.

None of that was supposedly your fault, though. You don't make mistakes, the nursing staff told me. Ever. Never does Dr. Dumbass make an error. If there were no post-op orders, it was because the hospital computer ate them.

When I saw you for my two-week post-op visit, you didn't remember me. You looked at the incision, cut out a stitch, and told me I was good to go. You never expected to hear from me again. When I questioned why I had severe pain four weeks after surgery, your staff ignored my calls. Finally, after a visit to the ER, I went back to see you about 10 weeks post-op. You walked in and looked at me like you'd never seen me before in your life. I told you about the pain. You barely touched me. "I don't know what this is, but it has nothing to do with the surgery I did," you said. You turned on your heel and walked out, leaving my husband and I to look at one another. You offered no relief, no other course of treatment, no suggestions. You got out of there as quickly as possible because, God forbid, you might have screwed up.

We thought you were a good doctor. The family had some experience with you and the outcome had been good for that person. Your online profile on the health-check websites sucks - you have no bedside manner, you don't follow up, you are careless and uncaring. I read that before the surgery but you'd done OK with the other family member, so we went ahead with you. My primary care doctor had recommended you, as well. And I was very sick and it was, quite simply, an emergency situation, or so I was told. When three different doctors tell you to get the gallbladder out or you're going to die, you kind of have to go with the advice.

Your operative notes were sparse and indicated that you took little time to see if there was any problem. Basically, you yanked out my gallbladder and sewed me up. I knew when I saw where you'd cut me that you had had no consideration for the state of my body, because you'd punctured a place where I already had a massive scar, cutting through that bulky tissue for whatever reason, because, I suppose, that was where you always made an incision and nothing was going to slow you down.

Maybe any doctor doing this surgery would have ultimately ended up disabling me. I will never know. But not every doctor would have dismissed me, nor treated me like I was simply a piece of meat to take a steak knife to. That is the way you treated me. You did not treat me like a human being, certainly not like someone you cared about, and certainly not like a good physician should treat a patient.

You were a jerk. It's been two years and I bet you still are a jerk because you have probably always been a jerk. I try to console myself with the thought that you have done good things for other people in the past. I was just the unlucky one. But I also wonder how many other unlucky ones you've neglected and rejected because you are an asshole. Three? Three hundred? At least a few, because they've left biting remarks about you on those websites I mentioned earlier. Your rankings range from 1 to 3. Nobody gives you a 5. Nobody likes you enough to do that.

It's not so much that you destroyed my life as it is that fact that you don't care, I think, that eats at me. You're supposed to be a healer. You're supposed to care. You're supposed to treat people with compassion and be human about the work that you do.

But you didn't and you weren't.

You were and you are a dumbass.

Sincerely,

A former patient whose husband would hit you in the nose if he saw you.

Thursday Thirteen

We are soon coming up on National Suicide Prevention Week (September  7 - 12) and October has a Mental Illness Awareness Week (October 4 - 10) and National Depression Screening Day (October 8).

Better to advertise these things before the events, because folks who are suffering really don't need days or weeks or months. People with depression and suicidal ideation tend to live with it daily, taking things day by day. Sometimes they take it minute by minute.

Depression and thoughts of suicide or self-harm came come from out of nowhere, or they can have a physical cause. The truth is, mental health is something humans still don't understand, and probably won't for a long time. The brain is a complex organ, and all it takes is a little of the wrong something - and who knows what that something is - and things can get a little whacky.

So what do people who are having a tough time actually need?

1. They need empathy. Maybe you know why your friend hurts, or maybe you don't. It doesn't really matter. Acknowledge that the person feels bad and don't try to find a reason for it. The reasons may never make sense to you. The reasons may not make sense to the person who is miserable. But it is nice to know someone cares.

2. Tell the person that s/he is not alone. Let them know that you will listen without judgment or lecturing. Not just once or twice. Sometimes depressed people repeat themselves, particularly if the issue is ongoing and chronic. Depressed people can sense quickly when they've overstepped a line and frustrated a friend. If that happens, don't be surprised if the depressed person stops telling you things. Listening to someone who is hurting can be difficult and not everyone can do it. Urge your friend to get counseling if the situation seems perpetual or you can't handle it, but make sure that your friend knows you care and are trying to help the best you can. This can be very hard not just on you but also your friend; this is tough ground.

3. Remind the person that s/he is a good person and has value. Many depressed people have lost their sense of self-worth and/or purpose. They're not sure why they are still on the planet and can't figure out why nothing they do is good enough.

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“That's the thing about depression: A human being can survive almost anything, as long as she sees the end in sight. But depression is so insidious, and it compounds daily, that it's impossible to ever see the end.”  ―  Elizabeth Wurtzel, Prozac Nation

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4. Ask the person how you can help. Maybe all s/he needs is an ear. Maybe the friend needs a hug. Maybe s/he needs somebody to fix dinner every now and then. But don't move in and take over. Let the person guide you as to what s/he needs.

5. Remind the person of better times. Maybe you shared a fun shopping trip or you had a nice adventure together. Talk about things other than how the person feels for a while. Tell a joke or a funny story.

6. Be there when the person needs you. That might mean making a suggestion - going for a walk or seeing a movie, for example. Anything to get your friend moving and out of the house. Be ready to follow through, because the depressed friend will likely say "no" to whatever you offer. You may need to say, "I'm going to be there at 5 p.m. and we're going to dinner and hit the 7:30 movie. I'm driving." And then show up at the door. This one time isn't going to fix it, but it will let your friend know that you care enough to take action.

7. Tell your friend that it is okay to take things a day at a time. Acknowledge that tomorrow might not be easier - but then again, it might. But let it be okay if it isn't.

8. Try saying, "I'm sorry this has happened to you, but we can and we will get you through it."

9. Tell the person that life is worth living, and that even if s/he feels stuck and can't see a way out, there is always a different choice or option. The person simply hasn't found the right one yet, but hold his or her hand and tell them you will help them find what they need.

10. If your friend has started pulling away, you may need to pull back. If s/he stops calling or doing things with you, speak up. Tell the person you miss him or her and would like to spend time with them.

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“There is no point treating a depressed person as though she were just feeling sad, saying, 'There now, hang on, you'll get over it.' Sadness is more or less like a head cold- with patience, it passes. Depression is like cancer.” ― Barbara Kingsolver, The Bean Trees      

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11. If you are just realizing that your friend isn't well, apologize for not noticing. Please don't make them feel bad for "bringing you down" or something like that. Depression is not a choice, and no one with depression intends to be the party downer.

12. Don't tell the person that other people have it worse. They know that there are children starving, people sleeping in the streets, and folks with poor drinking water. That doesn't make their pain any better. It might make it worse, because it adds to the guilt.

13. Tell your friend that you believe in his or her strength, and that you accept the person the way they are now, not as you hope they will be.

Here are symptoms of depression. If you recognize these in yourself or in a friend, remember that depression is an illness and something that needs to be dealt with, perhaps with a doctor's guidance. It should never be taken lightly.

Feelings of sadness, tearfulness, emptiness or hopelessness

Angry outbursts, irritability or frustration, even over small matters

Loss of interest or pleasure in most or all normal activities, such as sex, hobbies or sports

Sleep disturbances, including insomnia or sleeping too much

Tiredness and lack of energy, so even small tasks take extra effort

Changes in appetite — often reduced appetite and weight loss, but increased cravings for food and weight gain in some people

Anxiety, agitation or restlessness

Slowed thinking, speaking or body movements

Feelings of worthlessness or guilt, fixating on past failures or blaming yourself for things that aren't your responsibility

Trouble thinking, concentrating, making decisions and remembering things

Frequent or recurrent thoughts of death, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts or suicide

Unexplained physical problems, such as back pain or headaches

For many people with depression, symptoms usually are severe enough to cause noticeable problems in day-to-day activities, such as work, school, social activities or relationships with others. Other people may feel generally miserable or unhappy without really knowing why.

Remember, depression is not a choice. It may occur once in a person's life, or may occur multiple times.

Here are warning signs for suicide:

Talking about killing or harming one’s self
Expressing strong feelings of hopelessness or being trapped
An unusual preoccupation with death or dying
Acting recklessly, as if they have a death wish (e.g. speeding through red lights)
Calling or visiting people to say goodbye
Getting affairs in order (giving away prized possessions, tying up loose ends)
Saying things like “Everyone would be better off without me” or “I want out”
A sudden switch from being extremely depressed to acting calm and happy

Here are causes and risk factors for depression:

Loneliness
Lack of social support
Recent stressful life experiences
Family history of depression
Marital or relationship problems
Financial strain
Early childhood trauma or abuse
Alcohol or drug abuse
Unemployment or underemployment
Health problems or chronic pain

For more information, check out these websites:

Hopeline
Mayo Clinic
Depression Symptoms and Warning Signs
National Institute of Mental Health


If you or someone you know is suicidal and you feel action must be taken immediately, call 911 or visit your nearest emergency room. There is also a toll-free, 24-hour hotline: National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255); TTY: 1-800-799-4TTY (4889), where you may talk to a trained counselor.

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Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; there is a list here if you want to read other Thursday Thirteens and/or play along. I've been playing for a while and this is my 409th time to do a list of 13 on a Thursday. (I'm not usually so serious.)

Those Sunny Sunflowers

My Distant Cousin

My cousin passed away yesterday.

She was something like my 4th cousin once removed (I know the connection but not exactly what it's called.). We shared a set of many-great grandparents here in Botetourt, going back to the early 1800s. The ancestors in common were John and Mary Painter, and then those who came before them.

Pat was my cousin's name. She was 86 when she went on to the next phase of her journey. I did not meet her until I was an adult, about 20 years ago, so she was already an elder when we met. I do not remember exactly how we were introduced, but she immediately embraced me as a long-distance relative. She called me "cousin" every time we saw one another.

She gave me a sense of family for which I never properly thanked her. I always knew, in my heart, if I needed sanctuary for whatever reason, I could go to Pat. Sometimes you just know those things.

Pat was a professor of math at the local community college, a mother of three, a grandmother, a historian. She is survived by a sister, her children and their spouses, many grandchildren, and a multitude of other relatives. She also had many close and dear friends, many of whom live or lived in Fincastle.

Oh, how she loved Fincastle. She always spoke of it with great fondness, as if the little community was the best place on the planet. And with her in it, it probably was.

My cousin graduated from Fincastle High School and went on to attend Hollins College. She obtained her BA and a master's degree. She taught in the local school system for 16 years, and then served as an instructor at Virginia Western Community College for 15 years. She retired in 1992. She was close to retiring when I first met her, I think.

Pat was an active member in local garden clubs and in Historic Fincastle, Inc., an organization that oversees historic interests in her beloved community. She played golf and the piano (though I never heard her play; she mentioned it once).

She was instrumental in having a stone memorial placed on Rt. 779 to commemorate Painter's Chapel, a church that was started by our forefathers, in the Catawba Valley.

I met Pat's daughter before I met her mother. Her daughter was a local writer whom I greatly admired. During a writer's conference, we began talking about our ancestry and discovered then that we were related. We stayed in touch and have remained friends. Later, I met Pat daughter-in-law, who became one of my dearest companions.

I spent time with Pat when I also served in Historic Fincastle. We worked together on various community projects, including the annual festival (now defunct), and in setting up the museum portion of the Early Cabin. I remember how she kept wanting me to come and take pictures of various components of the little museum.

We also were in a book club together for the better part of a decade. I loved her take on the things we read. She always had a spirited point of view and while she sometimes got off topic - well, we always get off topic in our book club. It's a lively group and Pat's presence will be greatly missed.

Three years ago, Pat took my journal-writing class, telling me then that she had kept a journal for most of her life. She didn't need to take my class, but she was supporting me in my efforts to begin a career as an instructor. I hope someone finds her journals and treasures those words.

Pat was a people person - she was definitely not an introvert. She spoke her mind and believed that women deserved the same opportunities as men. She taught math because she loved it. She once told me the only reason girls had trouble with the subject was because no one expected anything else out of them.

I was saddened to learn of her passing, but she had been ill for a while and I am glad that she is no longer suffering. I am sorry, too, for my friend and her family, who have lost a dear loved one.

Life is hard, and getting older does not bring about ease and comfort, not like it should. It is hard to watch those you love move on.

It is harder still to say goodbye.

My cousin, Pat.

Fincastle Frolic

The Town of Fincastle put on a little get-together Friday night. It is an event to showcase the town.

I saw a few faces I knew.

Balloons decorated the town.

My pal Cathy, a fellow writer.

Taking a picture of the picture-taker.

The county clerk really got into his role as historian.

See? He went all out!

My friend Pam.

Cannon go boom! Not really. It's a decoration outside of the courthouse.

My buddy Lee and her fellow.

Cathy's daughter, Julia, is on the left. I am afraid I don't know the other young musician.

They seemed to be enjoying themselves.

Local artist, Ed Bordett, hanging out near the cookies.

My husband, right, talks to his old friend, John.

The bank was a popular spot; they were giving away cookies and ice water.

Old friend John.

My pal Rene at the library.

My husband has a word with Paige, head librarian at the Fincastle branch.

Sunday Stealing: I Want You

From: Sunday Stealing

I Want You to be Free from Me Meme


1. Are your nails painted a dark or light color?  My nails are not painted. They are bitten and chewed.

2. Have you ever ordered pizza online?   Yes.
 
3. What color was the last candle you lit?  White, and non-scented.

4. Is there something written on your shirt right now? Yes. It says "Keepin' It Rural. Live. Laugh. Farm."

5. Is there a bookshelf in your room? There are four of them, actually.
 
6. Do you own a treadmill? Yes, and I use it.
 
7. Have you ever signed up for a gym membership?  No.
 
8. Is there a garbage can in your room? What color is it? White.

9. Have you ever read in the bathtub? Yes.

10. Have you ever had to wear a hairnet? No.
 
11. Do you know how many pages were in the last book you read?  The last print book had 513 pages. The last audio book had 25 discs. The last Kindle book, I don't know because the Kindle doesn't use pages, it uses locations.

12. On what day of the week do you usually do the laundry?  I do laundry almost every day. I live on a farm. My husband sometimes changes clothes three times a day.

13. Do you use the Facebook chat often? Define "often." But yes, I use it.

14. Do you have any baby pictures of yourself on your computer? 


My brother in the car seat, me with the doll.


15. Do you eat onion rings? No. Or at least not very often.

16. What flavor of tea did you last have?  Red Rose decaf black tea.

17. Do you own a bathrobe? Yes.

18. Did you/will you have coffee or some other form of caffeine today?  I don't drink caffeine.
 
19. Do you have a mailbox or do you collect your mail from the post office?  Mailbox.
 
20. What was the last animal you saw, and was it a pet?  A deer in the front yard. It is not a pet although it seldom runs when it seems me.

21. What was the last documentary you watched focusing on?  I don't recall. Does Downton Abby count as a documentary?

22. Is there anything you need to remember to do before the day ends? I need to change the Brita pitcher filter.

23. Is your car messy, or do you like to keep it clean?  My husband likes it clean, but I keep it rather messy.

24. Are you the type to wake up before the sun rises?  My alarm goes off at 6 a.m. every morning, even on the weekends.

25. Do you get uncomfortable when people stare at you? Wouldn't you?

26. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital for a long period of time? Yes.

__________

I encourage you to visit other participants in Sunday Stealing posts and leave a comment. Cheers to all us thieves who love memes, however we come by them.