Sunday Stealing: AtoZ

From Sunday Stealing

Easy A-Z Meme


A. What are your favorite smells?

Apple pie.

B. Can you go a whole day without caffeine?

By the gods, I can and do!

C. Who knows more about you than anyone else?

Could that be the man I have been married to for 31 years?

D. What song did you last listen to?

Daydream Believer.

E. Do you wear socks to bed?

Every night my twinkle toes sleep sans socks, unless I have a terrible cough and have covered my feet with Vicks.

F. Can you change a car tire?

For what it's worth, I can change a car tire if I must.

G. If you could choose one color to wear for a whole year, what color would you choose?

Green.

H. Do you cook often?

How often do I eat? I cook at least one meal a day when my husband is home.

I. What’s your least favorite season?

In the dead of winter, I must admit that this bleakest of times is the season I dread most.
 
J. Can you sew?

Just a little.

K. What is your favorite fruit?

Kiwi.

L. Are you health conscious?

Learning about healthy eating and exercising is one of my past times. Now if I could only learn how to put said knowledge into action, I might actually have something.

M. Do you think you’re very conscious of the feelings of others or more self oriented?

Mostly I have great empathy for my fellow human beings.

N. Do you curse a lot?

Now why the f*ck would you ask me that question?

O. Do you remember lyrics easily?

Only when I really like the song. Being a musician of sorts, though, I have quite a repository of songs in my head.

P. Can you roll your tongue?

Please. Of course I can.

Q. Is there a certain food you often crave for no reason?

Queerly enough, I frequently want chocolate.

R. What was the last book you purchased?

Reading nonfiction is my new thing, and I'm currently waiting on Jane Bryant Quinn's book about how to remake your life after 50 or something like that to find its way into my mailbox.

S. Where was your last vacation?

Somewhere on the east coast . . . oh yes, Myrtle Beach, almost three years ago now.

T. Last movie you watched? Did you enjoy it?

The Hobbit: Battle of Five Armies. Thankfully, I enjoyed it though I did think it was a little short on character development.

U. Think of your oldest friend. If you met them now do you think you would still become friends?

Unfortunately, probably not. In the first place, I don't know how I would meet them now as we do not move in the same circles. We get together by design and force the issue.

V. Paris, London and New York… which one would you live in, which would you visit for a day, which would you visit for a fortnight?

Visiting London would make me happy, as I could meet up with my e-mail pal of over 10 years. It would be nice to meet her in person.

W. Do you usually sleep with your closet door open or closed?

Whatever does that have to do with anything? Why of course it is open, as we have a walk-in closet and it has a heating vent in it.

X. Have you ever broken a bone? If so, how did it happen?

X-rays and I are well-acquainted. I broke my first bone when I was 11, playing in my sock feet in my grandmother's basement. I slipped and fell and broke my wrist.

Y. How do you like your eggs?

Yellow on the inside, white on the outside. Hard boiled or scrambled.

Z. What was your last argument about and who with?

Zounds, but I can't really recall. I imagine it was with my husband, as he's the one I live with. But my brain zig-zags around what the argument may have been about.

****

Dear Sunday Stealers:

If you're interested in Thursday Thirteen, I'm a co-hostess for the "New Thursday Thirteen." We write 13 things, no set topic, just 13 of anything. The link up is at the New Thursday Thirteen site. Please join us if you need something to do on Thursdays!

CountryDew

Saturday 9: The Best Thing

Saturday 9: The Best Thing About Me Is You (2010)
Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.


1) What would you say is your best quality?

A. I'm an intelligent, empathetic creative writer.

2) In this song, Ricky sings that he's "allergic to tragedy." Do you suffer from any allergies?

A. It's an endless list. Most environmental things, from grasses to pollen to animal dander of all kind; fish, black pepper, and few other foods. I take a Claritin every day and have for years. It's probably altered my DNA by now.

3) Benadryl, the popular allergy medication, is sometimes used to treat insomnia. What do you do when you can't sleep?

A. I practice Tai Chi in my head. Sometimes I meditate by counting breaths. Or I try to focus solely on the feel of the air going up my nostrils and around into my lungs.

4) The lyrics to this week's song encourage us, "Don't wait until mañana." Are you a procrastinator?

A. I will answer this question tomorrow.

5) Ricky Martin is a judge on The Voice ... Mexico, aired on Mexican television. When you watch competition shows like The Voice, Dancing with the Stars or American Idol, do you usually agree with the judges? Or do you think you could do a better job?

A. I don't watch those shows. 

6) Ricky tells interviewers that when he was very young, he'd sing in the family kitchen, pretending a wooden spoon was his microphone. Crazy Sam admits to lip synching into a black Magic Marker. When you gave imaginary concerts, what did you use as a microphone?

A. I gave real concerts and played in a real band and used a real live microphone, long ago. When I was very young, I am sure I used a spoon or something similar.

7) Ricky began working at the tender age of 9, performing in commercials. How old were you when you received your first paycheck?

A. If you count babysitting, I was 13. If you mean a real payroll check, I was 15.

8) Ricky does yoga to stay in shape. Have you ever tried yoga?

A. I've tried Wii Fit Yoga. Does that count? I do Tai Chi with a video, or did, when I felt better.

9) Ricky is of primarily Spanish descent, with a little French mixed in. When you think of French cuisine, what comes to mind?

A. Escargo.

*****

Dear Saturday 9 players:

If you're interested in Thursday Thirteen, I'm a co-hostess for the "New Thursday Thirteen." We write 13 things, no set topic, just 13 of anything. The link up is at the New Thursday Thirteen site. Please join us if you need something to do on Thursdays!

CountryDew

Many Places I Have Been

In some circles, I am well-traveled. I've been to Europe, after all. Since statistically only 30 percent of Americans have passports, and I suspect most of those are to go to Bermuda on cruises, I'm in a minority.

Compare that to the number of passports in the UK - 75 percent. Those folks get around. Americans are content to stay at home, but we suffer for it - our ignorance shows.

In other circles, I am not so well-traveled. I know folks who have been many places that I only dream about. They are always more worldly, more knowledgeable, and more patient than folks who have never been further than 50 miles from home.

When you travel, even if it's only in your own neighborhood, you learn a lot.

When I was writing regularly for newspapers and other local publications, I saw neighborhoods in my own community that I did not know existed. I saw poverty that should not be allowed in this or any other country. I saw decay, neglect, and destruction. I met many downtrodden and extremely frightened people.

I also interviewed well-heeled and very scary people. I met folks with whom I would not want to spend more than a minute even if they were bedecked in jewels and lived in 5,000 square-feet McMansions. Those folks almost always scared me more than the fellow who lived in the beat-up ol' trailer (though he could be a mite scary, too).

It takes all kinds to make a world, but it is my profound belief that people should strive for more meeting in the middle and less separatism and partisanship. That applies to living conditions, salaries, health care, and opportunity. Because in spite of what the slogans and jingles say, this land of opportunity does not provide equal opportunity for all. Sometimes it provides no opportunity and folks are lucky to eat crumbs. It matters here if you're male and white. Those folks have opportunity. The rest - not as much.

Journalism can be equal-opportunity in that it allows one access into all kinds of worlds, if one desires to look around. True story: one minute I was shaking hands with slime like disgraced former Virginia Governor Bob McDonnell (he was running for Attorney General at the time) and within the next hour I was interviewing an intelligent 69-year-old woman who played guitar, yodeled, and never left her house because of a disability. He was well-groomed and wearing an expensive suit and she hadn't had her yard mowed in 10 years because she couldn't run the mower nor afford to pay someone to mow it for her.

McDonnell is going to jail, and good riddance to him, but the man had charisma. I was not surprised he became governor. However, nothing made him any better than the poor woman on Social Security who was eeking out the rest of her life as best she could. I mean, absolutely stinking nothing. That single day has stood out in my mind for 10 years, and probably always will. There stood McDonnell flashing that boyish grin, his handlers huddling close by, and then I met that that old woman, all alone. She sang a song to me on a guitar that desperately needed new strings.

Talk about a variety of places. And you know how many miles I had to travel to see these disparities? One. These two events took place within a solitary mile of one another. I met McDonnell on the county courthouse steps and then drove a mile to the woman's home.

There is something wrong when you go from First World to Third World in a little under a mile in your own hometown.

I have thought about this a long time. There are people who would say that the old woman was living in a broken down house by choice, that she'd made poor choices along the way, or she'd misspent her money. She limped around and used a cane because her foot was misshapen, the result of a birth defect. She overcame it as best she could. I wonder if McDonnell, born in the same circumstances, would have done any better.
 
In the many places I have been, I have always had great compassion for the circumstances in which I have found myself. Even the well-heeled have troubles, and I have written about those with grace and empathy. I fear see their stories are seen in the media more than those of the poor, though. Missing white girl stories are a big hit, for example, but people go missing every day. We just don't hear every story.

I find compassion and empathy to be two components that are missing from today's rhetoric. No one has compassion for the elderly, the poor, the hard-working firefighter who's just doing his job, barely getting by on a public servants salary. Teachers are evil sycophants who get the summers off! Police are evil jack boots who want to control the world. Why should we pay garbage workers and why should we pay our taxes so that everyone can drive on the highways?

Poppycock and phooey to all of that kind of talk. I have never heard such crap in all my life as I see on the Internet and hear on talk radio these days.

People need to get out of their comfort zones and discover the many places that exist around them. They need to walk a mile or two down the street, and see what is there.

I strongly suspect that what they discover might open their eyes, if not their hearts and wallets.

(And yes, I left $20 with the old woman on my way out that day. I picked up her Bible and looked at it, and slid the money into the most worn place, which I recall was in Psalms.)

Thursday Thirteen: The Year of Soil

Did you know that 2015 is the International Year of Soil? Dirt is kind of important but it's probably not something most people think about (except to vacuum it up or sweep it out).

Here is the dirt on dirt:

1. There are three types of soil: clay, silt and sand. Most soils are a blend of all three types.

2.  Soil holds 0.01% of the Earth's water. Soil is composed of 49% Oxygen, 33% Silicone, 7% Aluminum, 4% Iron, and 2% Carbon; half of soil (50%) is air and water. The remainder is minerals and organic matter.

3. Soil is created by the breaking down of rocks, usually by weather. After the rocks crumble, soil is created by the addition of organic materials from decaying plants and animals.

4. Soil needs microorganisms to break down the organic matter.

5. Topsoil, the uppermost layer of soil, has the highest amount of humus and microorganisms. Most plants get their food from this layer of soil.

6. It takes more than 500 years to form 2 centimeters of topsoil. Ten tons of topsoil spread evenly over one hectare (about 2.5 acres) of land comes out to be as thick as one Euro coin.

7. Good, functional soil holds 3750 tons of water per hectare, which reduces the risk of flooding.
8. A single one gram of soil contains 5000 to 7000 different species of bacteria.

9. Scientists have found 10,000 types of soil in Europe and about 70,000 types of soil in the United States.

10.  Nearly 75% of the earth's crust is composed of silica and oxygen.

11. Compost is soil created from things we use daily. This is good soil that can be used in gardens.

12. Things to leave out of compost piles include tea and coffee bags (the grounds are okay, just not the bags), citrus peel, onions, dog and cat droppings, fish, meats, glossy or foil papers, plastics, metals, ash, treated wood or sawdust, artificial fertilizer, and big branches.

13. Things to put into your compost pile include grass clippings, newspaper, certain fruits and vegetable leavings, and certain types of manure, such as horse, cow, and chicken droppings.

Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; there is a list here. I've been playing for a while and this is my 379th time to do a list of 13 on a Thursday.

Something to Talk About

I have a friend who hates gossip. She is the most private person I have ever met, hands down. We've been friends for 15 years and I have no idea who else she meets for lunch. She never mentions names, never passes along whatever she's heard, never indulges in gossip, and seldom says anything about anybody.

That's not to say we don't talk about things, we do, but it's within a very limited box. Sometimes it's a frustrating one but I have learned to live within those confines with her.

Being a newspaper reporter for 30+ years of my life, I have been told my share of things that I was expected not to repeat. "Off the record," used lightly in the movies and on TV shows, is still said to me frequently even though my newspaper writing days have dwindled. It's as if people think I am eagerly hanging on to their every word because I might want to make a note of it. And you never know, I might, but generally I don't, unless I happen to be performing an actual interview for the express purpose of writing about something you're doing.

A note to the clueless, though: just because you say, "Oh, and off the record, thus and such happened," doesn't mean it actually *is* off the record unless the reporter actually agrees to that, in some kind of formal understanding that should at least include a handshake. Just tossing it out there doesn't make it so. Generally, I abided by my interviewee's wishes or found a secondary source for the information, because I am nice like that, but many reporters completely dismiss those words. Off the record? You'll see it in print, especially if you aren't talking to me.

Just so you know. Off the record, of course.

Anyway, I have kept many secrets over the years. Some I still keep. Some I kept for a specified period of time, and then I let them out of the box when it was time to do so. Some secrets I keep until I hear other people talking about them, and then I know the word is out - but it didn't come from me.

Telling tales is changing with technology. It's done with texts now, or on Facebook. Gossip has gone visual and in writing, and that kind of backbiting and sniping is difficult to take back. Didn't want to announce that promotion just yet but your coworker did on Facebook? Oops. Too late. And you can't take it back. What might once have reached one ear has now reached 1,000 eyes.

This past summer, my husband was the topic of conversation for a while after he injured himself on the farm. Hundreds of people were talking about him and what happened, maybe even a thousand people, judging by the phone calls I fielded during the 5 days he was in the hospital. I didn't mind. Well, I minded the phone calls while I was trying to deal with the hospital and his initial injury, but mostly I was happy that people cared enough to inquire, to ask how they could help, to see what had happened. I would rather they hear the truth from me than make up something, anyway.

Gossip is different from telling the news or truths about what is happening with people. Gossip is frequently untrue. Much of what is said is based on a single little truth and then enlarged. The details aren't confirmed. Being a newspaper reporter means I always confirm my details before I say anything. I try very hard not to spread rumors.

However, I am human; we all are, and even my most private friend lets things slip from time to time. Telling stories is a big part of who we are. It's how we learn and how we process information. Studies show it is a social bonding mechanism. Talking about other people is what we do.

With the Internet, though, gossip has reached a new level. I cringe when I see the wolves pounce on some celebrity who has thoughtlessly made an off-hand comment. He or she is eaten alive by the twitters who chomp as though their own existence depends on this other person's opinions.

Every one has a right to an opinion. If you don't agree with it, then you should explain your opinion, not attack other people. It's rather scary, how quickly a single comment is taken out of context and the hounds are let loose.

You have to have a thick skin to be out in the world these days, where the demon dogs are ready to grab you by the throat and shake you to bring you back in line.

Big White Hawk

I've been seeing this big white-chested hawk for a few weeks now. These photos do not do justice to the bird; I had a little shake when I was trying to take these pictures. I am also not sure what kind of hawk it is as my field guide doesn't show anything similar. When I look on the internet I find a bird that is supposed to be only in Mexico. Surely this bird isn't from Mexico?

At any rate, this is a very big bird, as you can see from the picture of it with the cow.

Sunday Stealing: Favorites

From Sunday Stealing

Name Your Favorite:

My house is in there
somewhere.

1. Place: Home
2. Person: My husband
3. Color: Blue
4. Food: Chocolate
5. Smell: Baking cookies
6. Book: If You Want to Write, by Brenda Ueland
7. Movie: The Lord of the Rings trilogy
8. Music artist: Melissa Etheridge
9. Thing to do when bored: Play video games
10. Genre of literature: I like "mainstream" fiction, mysteries, and fantasy
11. Magazine: O, the Oprah magazine
12. Texture: Smooth and creamy
13. Time of day: Around 11 a.m.
14. Day of the week: Wednesday
15. Thing to learn about: Writing
16. Thing about yourself: I'm pretty smart for poor white trash.
17. Lifehack (a time saving, efficiency technique for life): I keep two lists on the refrigerator, one for purchases at the supermarket and the other for someplace like Sam's or Walmart (no Costco where I live). As I run out of something, I put it on the appropriate list.

Saturday 9: Zing

Saturday 9: Zing! Went the Strings of My Heart (1939)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) This song is about love at first sight. Do you believe that immediate attraction lasts?

A. I think it depends on the people, the attraction, the circumstances . . . which is to say, I think it can, but generally doesn't.


2) The lyrics mention "a breath of spring" and robins singing. Now that we're deep into winter, what do you miss about spring?

A. Warmth. I am freezing.

3) Though the world knew her as Judy Garland, this week's featured artist was born Frances Gumm and her family called her "Baby." Does your family have any pet names for you?

A. None that I would put in this blog. (The fact that her family called her "Baby" immediately made me think of Dirty Dancing.)

4) Because she was petite -- just 4'11 -- it was obvious when Garland gained even a few pounds and consequently she battled her weight her whole life. Now that we're in the new year, have you made any resolutions about your own diet?

A. I haven't made a resolution, but I have lost four pounds since Christmas.

5) The year this song came out, 1939, was the year Garland's most famous movie, The Wizard of Oz, was released. Which of her three traveling companions is your favorite: Scarecrow, Tin Man or Cowardly Lion?

A. Scarecrow. He ended up with the brains.

6) Barry Manilow enjoyed Judy's performance of this song so much he did a "dream duet" with her and included it in his recent CD. What performer who is no longer with us do you wish you could have seen in concert?

A. Robin Williams. I know he's not a singer but he is who came to mind.

7) Judy had a terrible problem with tardiness. Are you usually prompt?

A. I am almost always on time, and I call if I'm going to be late.

8) During World War II, Judy worked tirelessly to entertain the troops. Tell us about a cause that's near and dear to your heart.

A. I have an interest in historic preservation. I think we can learn a lot from looking at the past, and we should honor those who have gone before us by preserving their legacy, not tearing it to shreds.

9) The American Film Institute lists Garland as the 8th greatest movie star of all time. Who is your all time favorite actor or actress?

A. I don't really have one. I like Sandra Bullock, but not in everything. 

Left Its Seeds While I was Sleeping

My nights are busy nights. I haven't slept a full eight-hours in more than 18 months. I wake up after about four hours of sleep and take a pill, and then eventually my eyes close again.

But that's a new thing. The old thing is, as always, my nights are full of visions. I dream the dreams of everyone in the world, I think.

I dream crazy, silly little dreams where I roam the roads chasing after rabbits that turn into fairies that turn into mushrooms, leaving me standing in a field of flowers.

I dream shaming, morbidly fascinating dreams, where I turn up in the classroom without my pants on or my hair all messy. The teachers yell and the students laugh, and I flee, throwing my notes high into the air.

Sometimes I can't find my locker. Or my keys. Or the answer when I don't even know the question. Sometimes I run, breathing hard and fast. Usually I am younger, and in much better shape, which at least gives me a chance to get away.

Occasionally I have sleep paralysis, where my mind is awake but the rest of me isn't. I have also been known to walk in my sleep. After my father-in-law passed away, my husband found me asleep in our closet, going through his clothes. I told him I hadn't picked up his suit from the cleaners and he was going to need it.

He woke me up and I went back to bed.

The worst, though, are the bad dreams where I don't wake up. I have nightmares, but sometimes my dreams are beyond even those scary images. I dream in color, too, and the pictures in my mind are vivid and real.

Psychologists call those night terrors, and according to the Mayo Clinic, only a small percentage of adults have them (lucky me). My husband will wake up to find me screaming and shaking, tears rolling down my face. He shakes me until I wake up, disoriented and terrified. I seldom remember what the awful was, but it was obviously very, very bad.

For many years, I dreamed the same dream over and over. Darkness, a bathtub, blood. Screaming. A big hulking monster. Crows cawing in the background, ready to rip me apart because they weren't really crows, they were . . . something else. And the something else was so terrifying, so inexplicable, that to turn the knob on the door was akin to . . .

Well, you know, perhaps. Many people have nightmares. Not everyone has night terrors, but most folks can appreciate the drama that the brain can create in the dark.

Strange dreams seem to run in my family:

On a cold December night in 1975, my grandmother dreamed that Jesus came to her. She was in a beautiful apple tree grove, and the Lord came to her and took off her wedding ring. "You won't be needing this anymore," Jesus told her, and he walked away.

My grandfather died of a heart attack a few days later.

Doesn't that give you chills?

My dreams have not foretold any events large or small, at least, not that I recall. Instead they reflect the mish-mash that is my mind, the things I read, see, or hear. The past looms large in there, I think, though not as much as it once did. Childhood fantasies have given way to more mundane worries, such as health concerns and paying bills.

The last few mornings I have awakened with my cheeks wet, my eyes overflowing, like founts of dew spilling out to greet the morning. I do not remember what I was dreaming of. I have no idea why I'm crying. But I lie there spent and tense, as if I've already lived a day that has not yet begun.

The seeds of my night seem to be planted very deeply, indeed.

Thursday Thirteen: Because a Vision Softly Creeping

Dear Thursday Thirteen players,

The old Thursday Thirteen is dead. Long live Thursday Thirteen! Colleen (looseleafnotes.com) and I, who seem to have been doing Thursday Thirteen the longest, have set up a new Thursday 13 blog at http://newthursday13.blogspot.com. Please give us some time to figure out what we're doing but we hope you will continue to play along.

If you want your blog listed in the sidebar of the new Thursday 13, leave me a note in the comments either here or at the new blog.

So on to Thursday Thirteen!

Many writers, artists, and other visionary folk have turned to substance abuse of some kind (even heavy coffee drinking counts) in order to bring their creative passions to fruition. Here is a list of some of those folks.

1. “I’ve seen a lot of people go down because they attach a harmful substance to their creative process. . . Coffee was part of my process. I used to drink like 14 cups a day… Now, if I want to go to a cafe and write and drink coffee for two hours, I just order them… and I keep diluting it — because it’s not the coffee, it’s the habit.” - Patti Smith (American Singer/Song Writer)

2.“I got very drunk on a nightly basis from the time I was about 19 ’til 32,” Anne Lamott (American writer) said in a PBS interview. She says on her posts on Facebook (which I subscribe to) that she's been sober now for about 28 years and credits her Christian faith.

3. Beethoven(musician) was known to be a heavy drinker and an autopsy performed at his death revealed a shrunken liver.

4. “Addiction has had such an impact on my life and the people I love, and there really is not a lot about it that is funny.” Edie Falco (American actor)

5. Edgar Allen Poe, American poet and writer, is well-known to have used alcohol and opiates.

6. Ernest Hemingway, American writer, drank a lot but denied doing it during his creative periods. “Jeezus Christ! Have you ever heard of anyone who drank while he worked? You’re thinking of Faulkner. He does sometimes – and I can tell right in the middle of a page when he’s had his first one. Besides, who in hell would mix more than one martini at a time?”

7. “I guess I was trying not to feel anything.” Drug use “has less to do with recreation and more to do with the fact that we need to escape from our brains.” - Johnny Depp (American actor)

8. "I can remember one occasion, taking a shower with my wife while high, in which I had an idea on the origins and invalidities of racism in terms of gaussian distribution curves . . . I wrote the curves in soap on the shower wall, and went to write the idea down." - Carl Sagan (astronomer and author)

9. "I was seduced into the ACCURSED Habit ignorantly – I had been almost bed ridden for many months with swelling in my knees – in a medical journal I happily met with an account of a cure performed in a similar case … by rubbing in of Laudanum, at the same time taking a given dose internally – it acted like a charm, like a miracle! … At length, the unusual stimulus subsided – the complaint returned – the supposed remedy was recurred to – but I cannot go thro’ the dreary history – Suffice to say, that effects were produced , which acted on me by Terror & Cowardice of PAIN and sudden death" - Samuel Taylor Coolidge (English poet and philosopher)

10. I thought I was gonna die,” - Lady Gaga, (singer/songwriter)

11. “I have an addictive nature . . . an obsessive-compulsive nature – well, I don’t know that’s what it is clinically. But I go to addictive extremes, and before I got sober, that became routine.” - Tobey McGuire (American actor)

12. “I drink moderately.. I do like weed. I have a different outlook on marijuana than America does. My best friend Sasha’s dad was Carl Sagan, the astronomer. He was the biggest pot smoker in the world and he was a genius." - Kirsten Dunst, (American actor)

13. William Faulkner, American author, is also known to have been addicted to alcohol. “A man shouldn't fool with booze until he's fifty; then he's a damn fool if he doesn't.” (Only Faulkner quote on drinking I could find.)

Drugs are bad, m'kay? Don't do drugs!

Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; there is a list here. I've been playing for a while and this is my 378th time to do a list of 13 on a Thursday.

I've Come to Talk with You Again

Have you ever noticed how people come and go in your life?

For the longest time I had no clue what the majority of my high school classmates were doing. Then along came our 30th reunion and now many of them litter my Facebook newsfeed. I know their children, who they married, when they are vacation. I hit that little "like" button occasionally but I'm not sure they even know who I am.

Over the years I have worked many places. My writing for the local newspaper has kept me in touch with those folks who work there for 30 years. It would be hard not to work with someone for that long and not consider them in some manner to be a friend. But they're not on Facebook. Doesn't matter, though, because all I have to do is pick up the phone, or stop by.

One of my closest friends is also a former coworker from all the way back to 1983. I have known her almost as long as I've known my husband. She's not on Facebook, either. Neither is another close friend of 15 years. I even have a pen pal that I've been corresponding with for 13 years. We've exchanged thousands of emails.

They are dear old friends, and they don't need to see my status to know how I am.

I also have new friends (known for less than 10 years), whom I love dearly. I don't know how long they will be in my life, but I'm grateful they are there.

Sometimes people come and go so quickly you wonder what it is they wanted. Were they there to teach me something? Was I teaching them? Was it a hit and run and nobody stopped?

People I worked with, people I had classes with, people I've interviewed over the years - sometimes they all jumble up in my brain. I long ago stopped guessing who people were when they stopped me in the grocery store and carried on a conversation. I would always guess wrong. "So how's your job at the bank?" would invariably end up with a huffy, "I work at the library!" or something.

Now I just ask generic questions unless I figure out who I'm talking to. It's not that I don't care, it's just that I've met so many thousands of people over the years, between school, jobs, and volunteer work, that I become confused. Because usually the grocery store or the gas station is not where I met them in the first place, and I associate people with place.

I am not sure how I feel about the return of people I used to know into my life, especially via Facebook. It seems a bit artificial. The generation coming up now will never know the value of losing touch with someone (and there is value to that). They will be Facebook friends with their kindergarten class for the rest of their lives. Maybe 35 years from now they will wonder who so-and-so is and why they are friends. Or not. Collecting numbers of friends, quantity, not quality, seems to be the in thing.

While I've connected with some high school and college classmates, for the most part, none of my former coworkers have bothered to engage me on Facebook. This does not bother me; I am not sure I would know who they were unless they reminded me. Sometimes I dream of them - the woman who worked with me who helped me from my car when I was rear-ended in front of the office one day, or the woman at one office that I disliked so much that I hoped she would accidentally lock herself up in the vault in the basement and have to spend the weekend there. Sometimes these old coworkers return to me like wraiths hell-bent on revenge, other times they are visions trapped in mist, beckoning me.

Whatever they're doing, I still don't remember their names.

Sometimes people in my life come and go. I see them for a while, then I don't for a long time, and then they are back again. I am generally glad to see them.

I've heard it said that people come into your life for a reason. Usually, I have no idea why I have met the people I have. Lately, though, some folks in my life have made it pretty clear why they're in my life, and I am learning interesting and useful life lessons from them. I am grateful to these mentors (who don't even know they're teaching me) because they are making me a better person.

And becoming a better person is what it is all about, isn't it? Isn't that part of loving the people you're with?

I found this online. Do you think this is true?

People come into your path for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you know which one it is, you will know what to do with that person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty . . .
To provide you with guidance and support . . .
To aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually . . .
They may seem like they are a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die . . .
Sometimes they walk away . . .
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. . .
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled . . .
Their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has now been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON.
Because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons.
Things you must build upon to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind, but friendship is clairvoyant.
Thank you for being a part of my life . . .
Whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime
~ unknown author

Hello Darkness, My Old Friend

How many kinds of darkness can you count? How many kinds can you feel?

There is the dark that happens when one turns out the light. Suddenly, there is a nothingness. You blink. Your eyes adjust, and there are shadows. With the shadows are the knowing of familiarity; even in a hotel room, you have an idea of where the bed sits. Because you remember this, you were never truly in the dark.

I was once in deep cave, admiring stalagmites and stalactites and other intriguing formations, when the guide warned us that he was going to turn out the light (this was long before smartphones; I daresay this trick wouldn't work now as someone would have something lit up). He wanted us to experience total darkness.

The light went out.

There was no seeing in that blackness, and because we were being led from one briefly lit place to another, and the space unfamiliar, there was no seeing anything in my mind's eye, either.

You cannot close your eyes and recreate the eerie pitch darkness in the depth of that cave. The darkness without light is darker even than that. Trapped in a place where no sunlight ever filtered through, the black was total. Suffocating. Absorbing. The air felt heavy and lifeless; I could smell the earth, hear the scuffle of feet from someone nearby. Only my ears told me I was not alone.

One could disappear in a darkness like that, falling away into the nothingness of the dark. Even after a few minutes, my eyes could not find anything; there was no light for them to see. No stars, no moon, no blinking computer eye.

I was afraid to move. Indeed, how could I take a step forward, suffocating as I was in that inky blackness? How could anyone do anything other than stand there, feeling the panic rise from the pit of the gut?

I do not know of the darkness of the blind. Perhaps an unfortunate soul without eyes who must live in total darkness has an idea of the blackness of that cave.

When I was younger, and Botetourt more rural, I could look out in certain directions and see only stars. I could even see the milky way, which is something I've not seen in several years. We have too much light now. We have more houses, each sending out its little beacon of brightness to keep the darkness at bay. In the city, one can barely see the moon, much less the stars. I wonder sometimes if constant city dwellers even know how many stars light the sky.

Far, far too many to count, that's for sure.

Some nights can be longer than others. Sleepless nights can lend themselves to walking the floor, or laying in bed looking out the crack in the curtains, where even on the darkest nights of the new moon I can still see a tint of cloud or a star. That deep, incredible dark of the cave exists only underground, not outside.

I only need to open my eyes, and there is always a little light.

There is another darkness, still, that I have experienced. It's a darkness that seeps from inside, casting a cowl of blackness over my head and heart that weighs so much it is as if I've been tied to a cinder block and tossed from a ship. The sinking, choking feeling of that blackness is worse than the total darkness in that cave, because in that cave I knew someone would eventually flick on a flashlight. That darkness would not last forever.

This other darkness goes deep, piercing like Sting, Bilbo's dagger, and it cuts deeply through flesh and sinew. This is a darkness explained away by those who love me as a bad day, or a tough time. A darkness so deep that Gollum could not find his way through the tunnels, not even with the One Ring on his finger and Sauron the Deceiver calling his name.

It is a darkness without name, one that they dare not speak even in the language of Mordor. Darker than the spider lair in the Mountains of Shadow near Cirith Ungol. Even I do not call it by name. Even dwarves sometimes fear to go underground.

Darkness goes, though, when I open my eyes.

I must remember to open my eyes.

Books: The Signature of All Things

The Signature of All Things
By Elizabeth Gilbert
Kindle Edition (513 pages)
Copyright 2013

The author of Eat, Pray, Love, a nonfiction account of Gilber's efforts to change her life, which I read, turns her attention to fiction and the 19th century in this character study and saga.

Alma Whittaker is born with a silver spoon, the only child of a self-made millionaire who found his fortune in botany and plants. Her father, Henry Whittaker, would have ended up dead or jailed had not another man of wealth, Sir Joseph Banks, who established the Kew Gardens in London, noticed the lad's keen mind. Banks sends Henry around the world to gather plant specimens for him. Henry eventually outshines his patron and sets up his own botanist world first in India and then in Philadelphia.

Along the way he chooses a wife, Beatrix, not for love but for her mind and family ties to another botanical family in the Dutch lands. She gives him Alma.

Alma is not pretty but she is brilliant. She is raised to think, to question, and to never take any answer for granted. There is little of the spiritual, the mystical, or the religious in her life, though her mother takes her to church every Sunday. The larger questions of gods and the universe are not where Alma's focus lies: instead, she is drawn to the minutia of the world, right down to the very dirt upon which we tread and take for granted.

I loved this character. I loved her inquisitive mind, her desires for constant learning, her need to make a difference in the world as she understands it. I love that she learns from her mistakes, that she realizes she is human, and that perfection is unattainable but one can live a magnificent and noble life anyway.

This story covers over 100 years, since it also tells her father's backstory, and during Alma's lifetime she experiences great minds and great wealth, and small minds and poverty. Throughout all of her trials, she is always thinking. She makes great contributions to science and in the course of her studies begins to understand the theory of evolution. While of course not as heralded as her male counterparts, she discovers that things change and mutate in order to survive the conditions placed upon them.

Her one big question, at the end, is humanity, and what she ultimately calls "the Prudence problem." Prudence, her adopted sister, gives up all wealth in order to work with abolitionists, to take in orphans, and perform other altruistic and charitable things. These actions, at the time thought to be unique to humans, are at odds with the survival of the fittest notions to which evolution lends itself.

This book is a great story of a strong woman, and I hope it serves an inspiration everywhere to women who find their lots in lives are not as they had hoped. Passion, it seems, however one finds it, can make a difference and help with happiness, regardless of circumstance.

5 stars

Sunday Stealing: 2014/2015 Meme, Part Two

From Sunday Stealing

2014/2015 Meme, part two

26. What experience would you love to do all over again?

A. If you're talking about 2014, none of it.

27. What was the best gift you received?

A. The gift of love and friendship from unexpected sources.

28. How did your overall outlook on life evolve?

A. I think I am more aware of mortality, and how important it is to tell people you love them.

29. What was the biggest problem you solved?

A. I bought a stool so I could cook without so much pain.

30. What was the funniest moment of your year, one that still makes it hard not to burst out laughing when you think about it?

A. Can't think of one. I'm afraid 2014 was no laughing matter. That said, I have laughed a lot about various things and with many people, because I have a good sense of humor. But nothing really stands out.

31. What purchase turned out to be the best decision ever?

A. We bought a new car in April. I wouldn't call it the "best decision ever" but it was the appropriate decision.

32. What one thing would you do differently and why?

A. I would try to complain less about how bad I felt.

33. What do you deserve a pat on the back for?

A. Hanging in there? I don't know.

34. What activities made you lose track of time?

A. Writing, reading, and computer games.

35. What did you think about more than anything else?

A. Getting my husband healed up and well.

36. What topics did you most enjoy learning about?

A. I have no idea.

37. What new habits did you cultivate?

A. None that I am aware of, unless this permanent limp could be called a habit.

38. What advice would you give your early-2014 self if you could?

A. It will get better, so hang in there.

39. Did any parts of your self or your life do a complete 180 this year?

A. Well, I just put my head between my knees and tried to look at my behind, but couldn't see anything. But maybe that's a 360?

40. What or who had the biggest positive impact on your life this year?

A. Several friends and a couple of my caregivers.

41. What do you want the overarching theme for your 2015 to be?

A. Good health.

42. What do you want to see, discover, explore?

A. A vacation of any kind would be welcome, as I haven't had one for nearly three years now.

43. Who do you want to spend more time with in 2015?

A. My husband and my friends.

44. What skills do you want to learn, improve or master?

A. I would like to learn to read the night sky (the constellations) and I'd like to take a course of photography.

45. Which personal quality do you want to develop or strengthen?

A. My sense of humor.

46. What do you want your everyday life to be like?

A. Content.

47. Which habits do you want to change, cultivate or get rid of?

A. It would be nice if I'd stop chewing my fingernails.

48. What do you want to achieve career-wise?

A. Maybe it's time to write that damned book.

49. How do you want to remember the year 2015 when you look back on it 10/20/50 years from now?

A. It's the year I wrote that damned book?

50. What is your number one goal for 2015?

A. To improve.