No Common Sense

Many people consider me to be a fairly smart person, but sometimes I feel so stupid about the things I don't know how to do that I don't think "smart" is possible.

Today, I discovered for a second time that I can't figure out how to make the lottery vending machine at the grocery store work.

This should be easy and apparently is, as I watched people go to the lottery machine, hit a few numbers, swipe a card, get their ticket, and leave.

I had a play slip in my pocketbook. The Powerball is up over $1 billion - who doesn't want to win that?

So, I went to the machine. I figured out where to put in the play slip. I put it in. The machine sucked it up. Then it said I needed to give it money. I gave it a $10 bill, which it didn't take at first, but then swooop - it sucked it up. (I always play with cash, using the credit card is too easy, I feel more responsible playing with cash.)

And I stood there going, where is my ticket? Finally, I found it, a little slip of paper lost in this big hole at the bottom of the lottery vending machine.

I looked at it and saw unfamiliar numbers. It did not play my numbers. They were all easy play numbers. I hate easy play numbers, although as numbers go, these look pretty good.

Still, they weren't our numbers. So, I went to the customer service desk like I normally do and meekly handed over my play slip and $10. I had not intended to play $20 on the lottery, but I did. 

If the vending machine numbers win, I will go kiss the thing, but honestly, why couldn't I figure that out? This is at least the second time I've tried and I've failed both times.

This kind of thing is second nature to most people, I guess, but I need an instruction booklet.

***

Now, do I really want a billion dollars? No. I suspect that would be more headache than I'd care to handle, though hopefully I would do good with it, and not built penis rocket ships to honor my manhood like Bose and Musk. Hopefully I would set up charities to help people with medical bills, build libraries and fire stations, help people go to college, offer up money to family and friends, stuff like that.

I'd be happy if I won $1,000,000. That's five numbers but not the power ball. I could live with that. That money I could put in the bank for my retirement and breathe a sigh of relief with the hope that a heart attack wouldn't wipe out our meager savings. And maybe still set up a little charity on a small scale. I'd like to help older women go back to college.

I don't want to be greedy. I have never wanted more money than I needed. Just enough. Unfortunately, as I age and see jobs going further and further out of my reach, I am no longer sure what "enough" actually means.

I wonder if not wanting all the money in the world is another symptom of having no common sense. Wouldn't it be sensible to want more money all the time?