Even though I find the current indictments of the former president sad, that doesn't mean I can't have a little fun with it. A friend challenged me to write up new lyrics to this famous song that would be relevant to today's current situation, so I gave it a shot. This is known as contrafactum in music theory, when you rewrite the words to an established melody.
Or maybe it's just a parody. Or me being an idiot. Whatever.
To be sung to The Devil Went Down to Georgia, by Charlie Daniels Band
(Spoken over music)
The Devil went down to Georgia
He was lookin' to make a deal
He was a in a bind, 'cause he'd been fined
and he knew he'd lose his appeal.
When he came across this DA
with a grand jury in her hand
and the Devil jumped on his cellphone
and texted out to his fans.
"I guess you didn't know it, but I'm a grifter and the best
And if you don't care and don't beware, I'll be your president.
Now this DA has the goods on me, but give to me my due
I'll bet a Supreme Court seat that she'll be beat
'Cause I've got the support of you."
And MAGA said, "We all hear you, and it might be a sin
But we don't care and we'll take a dare
to make you president again."
But we don't care and we'll take a dare
to make you president again."
(Singing)
Brandon time to blink those eyes like lasers in the sky
'Cause the Devil's playing loose down South and the MAGAs are flying high.
We're watching for the good DA to keep her self control.
'Cause if he wins, the country's lost, we won't have a soul.
We're watching for the good DA to keep her self control.
'Cause if he wins, the country's lost, we won't have a soul.
(Spoken over music)
The Devil stood before the judge, looking aged, vile, and mean
And fire flew from his nostrils when the judge called out his name.
And when he spoke the spittle flew and landed with a hiss
And all the lawyers prattled on, and it sounded like a miss.
And fire flew from his nostrils when the judge called out his name.
And when he spoke the spittle flew and landed with a hiss
And all the lawyers prattled on, and it sounded like a miss.
(Cue evil-sounding awkward fiddle music)
When the Devil finished,
The DA said, "You're pretty good, ol' son,
But sit back down in your chair right there
And let me show you how it's done.
The DA said, "You're pretty good, ol' son,
But sit back down in your chair right there
And let me show you how it's done.
And she went -
(Singing)
"He tried to steal your votes from you
He's never spoken a word that's true
He's a chicken who flouts the law
MAGA can he help you? Not at all."
He's never spoken a word that's true
He's a chicken who flouts the law
MAGA can he help you? Not at all."
(Sprightly fiddle music)
The Devil bowed his head and he flinched at every word
Still he pleaded "I'm not guilty" to the charges that he heard
The DA said, "Don't call again when Georgia does her vote
We done told you once, you son of a bitch
That we'll keep this land afloat."
Still he pleaded "I'm not guilty" to the charges that he heard
The DA said, "Don't call again when Georgia does her vote
We done told you once, you son of a bitch
That we'll keep this land afloat."
