Thursday Thirteen

Last Friday I went to hear a famous guitar player. He was telling jokes, and I immediately thought, "There's my Thursday 13 topic!"

So here are 13 jokes for musicians.

1. Q: How do you get a guitar player to play softer?
   A: Give him a sheet of music.

2. Q: What does a guitarist say when he gets to his gig?
   A: Would you like fries with that?

3. Q: What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?
   A: Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

4. Q: What is the difference between a guitar and a tuna fish?
   A: You can tune a guitar but you can't tuna fish.

5. Q: What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
   A: A flat minor.

6. Q: What do you get if you run over an army officer with a steam roller?
   A: A flat major.

7. A note left for a pianist from his wife: Gone Chopin, (have Liszt), Bach in a Minuet.

8. Q: What is the difference between a banjo and an anchor?
   A: You tie a rope to an anchor before you throw it overboard.

9. Q: Why do so many fishermen own banjos?
   A: They make great anchors!

10. Q: What is the difference between a banjo and a South American Macaw?
     A: One is loud, obnoxious and noisy; the other is a bird.

11. Q: What do you say to the banjo player in the three piece suit?
     A: Will the defendant please rise.

12. Q. What's the difference between a bagpipe and an onion?
     A. No one cries when you chop up an bagpipe.

13. Q. What's the difference between a bagpipe and a trampoline?
     A. You take off your shoes when you jump on a trampoline.
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Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; there is a list here if you want to read other Thursday Thirteens and/or play along. I've been playing for a while and this is my 491st time to do a list of 13 on a Thursday.