Thursday Thirteen

I am overweight. This is my own fault for not paying attention and for lacking the will power to say no to a chocolate bar. I am owning this. But getting the fat off is something else again. It's especially difficult now that I'm dealing with this weird abdominal issue. A 30-minute visit to Barnes & Noble does me in, so exercise, aside from the physical therapy I'm doing, is not feasible right now. Because I'm not well, I'm not getting out as much. So I'm alone a lot more than I used to be, and I think that makes the bad stuff look even more appealing.

Plus I have ulcers, and that means no 'maters or spicy foods. I've been looking at diets. Diets confuse me and always have. They are like some sort of math only written in alien language. I simply can't figure out why if I eat a pound of fudge I gain more than a pound. I mean, the fudge just weighs a pound, right?

My problem with weight loss books is they go into all of this detail about why their diet works better than others, blah blah. I don't care. I just want a month's worth of foods spelled out for me, breakfast, lunch, dinner, and two snacks, that I can live with, that are healthy and filling, that are fairly easy to fix, and don't cost a fortune. Apparently no one can offer that.

Anyway, here is a list of diets that I've tried or looked at or read books on. I hope I can come up with 13.

1. FODMAP diet. This is my latest one. My gastroenterologist handed me a piece of paper several weeks ago with this word on it, FODMAP, and a list of foods you could eat and a list you couldn't. Here, do this, he said, though you won't be able to stick to it. That was incredibly unhelpful. I've done a little looking online but still couldn't figure it out. I ordered a book. It just came yesterday. I will be reading it this weekend.

2. Atkins diet. My husband likes this one. He did it about 10 years ago now and lost a lot of weight, all of which he gained back once he stopped the diet. That's the trouble with diets. You gain it all back plus 10. I lost weight on Atkins, too, but also got very depressed. I need some carbs.

3. South Beach Diet. I tried this one some years ago, but it had too many foods on it that I couldn't eat. I have a lot of food sensitivities and I think this diet had most of them in it.

4. Weight Watchers. I have done Weight Watchers online a couple of times and in the first several months, I lose weight, but then Thanksgiving comes and that's the end of that. My issue with WW is that it doesn't teach you anything at all about healthy eating, really. I mean, if you want to eat 28 points in chocolate (which would be about 4.5 candy bars, btw) and call it a day, you can do that. And that's not healthy.

5. The Scarsdale Diet. This is an old one. My husband used it 35 years ago when he finished high school. He's always had a little trouble keeping his weight in check, and right before I met him, he went on this diet and he was fine looking, let me tell you. :-)It's a lot like Atkins. Eliminate the carbs.

6. Jorge Cruise. I had never heard of this guy until someone who had just started his diet recommended him. "Oh, I've lost 9 pounds in a week," said the skinny friend who probably didn't need to lose that much anyway. I found his book online for $1.99 so I downloaded it. It's low carb. But it's on my kindle and I have discovered I can't manipulate that like a book. Still might try this one if I can figure out how to get the diet onto a piece of paper. However, above-mentioned friend confided a few weeks later that she and her husband had found it impossible to stick to the plan.

7. The Schwarzbein Principle. This is one of the best diet books I've ever read, even if I couldn't stick to the program or figure it out. I did understand this one more than most. Maybe after I finish the FODMAP book I'll go back and reread this one.

8. The Dash Diet. The Dash Diet is supposed to help with high blood pressure. I don't know if it works because again, I couldn't really get my head around it. This is supposed to be one of the better diets.

9. The Sugar Addict's Total Recovery Program. I have already admitted I'm a sugar-holic, so this seemed like a good idea when I read the book. The most interesting premise was that you needed to eat a high carb like a potato before you went to bed. I actually tried that for a while. I had the craziest nightmares. You ain't had a nightmare until you've had a potato-driven one.

10. Eat Carbs, Lose Weight. This is diet book by Denise Austin. It seemed pretty good.

11. The Writing Diet, by Julia Cameron. Yes, really! A diet for writers. Good advice in here, but no menus. This is more about self-care and mindset, and I need to reread this but I see my copy has gotten musty. I should stick in the freezer a while, ha, to get the musty smell gone. The best thing I took from this book was her acronym of HALT: Don't get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired.

Hmm. I've run out of diet books. I only had 11. So here are two diets I've heard of but never tried:

12. Simply Weight Loss. I hear ads for this on my local radio station all the time, and have for years. It must work for somebody. It's herbs and supplements.

13. Jenny Craig, Nutrisystems. We've all seen the commercials. I've never tried either of these because they seem to rely too much on prepared foods, which have a lot of salt in them. My aunt has attempted Nutrisystems and I looked at the labels - way too much sodium for my high blood pressure. But anyway, there they are.

What diets have you tried? Any tips for the chocoholic who is trying to quit?



Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; there is a list here. I've been playing for a while and this is my 349th time to do a list of 13 on a Thursday.