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The Elephant Won

I have not commented on the November 4, 2024 election, and I'm not going to comment on it now, except to note that Kamala Harris lost. Her opponent took all the swing states and won the election. He won the popular vote by 1.7%, when you combine Harris's numbers with "other" votes, so the winner does not have the mandate he thinks he does. Still, he will claim it. All winners do.

And that's all I have to say about that, except to note that a pile of elephant excrement is a really, really big pile.

My Brilliant Friend - The HBO Series

I recently finished watching the last episode in the 4-season series of My Brilliant Friend.

Based on four books by Elena Ferrante, the series covered the special friendship of two young women from childhood into old age.

The series was filmed in Italian and thus we used subtitles to read the dialogue.

The first year of the series was 2018, I think, and then we had a season of the series drop every other year. It is unfortunate that it was such a long time between seasons because it was easy to forget minor yet important details. 

Additionally, in the last season, the two lead characters, as well as important minor characters, were played by completely different actresses to portray the aging of the girls. They are in the 40s through their 60s in the last season.

The young girls live in rather desolate circumstances in Naples, Italy in the 1950s. Their community is run by a type of mafia, and everyone is wary of these "bosses" and careful not to step on toes. The two young women are intelligent, more so than the other students in their class, and the teacher sees this. Elena is slightly better off financially than her friend Lila, and it is Elena who goes on to university to continue her studies, while Lila does not fare so well.

The series kept me captivated largely because it was an exploration of what it means to be a woman in a man's world. The story is told not through the obvious male gaze but from an objective point of view, which was refreshing. While the women were often viewed as sex objects, it was not the camera viewing them that way (think of a zoom-in on Wonder Woman's breast as a definition of the male gaze) but the men in the show. It was refreshing to see women portrayed as people who are objectified, not as not-quite-people who are always objectified, as women often are in many movies and series.

Elena and Lila have a rather unconventional friendship, one based upon their mutual respect for one another as well as their intelligence. They begin to believe in the power of the written word when one of them acquires a copy of Little Women, translated into Italian. The story buoys them throughout their childhood, with each attempting to overcome circumstances much like Jo March does in that particular book.

I found the series hard to watch at time as the young women were exploited and used by others, and occasionally by one another. I identified strongly with both characters; each seemed at times to be a part of myself - the one who wanted education and to be a writer, the other who ended up in a world she didn't necessarily want but managed to navigate.

The first book in this series did not set well with me when I read it. Perhaps something was lost in the translation, but I found the TV series much more enticing than the book. I did not read the rest of the book series after finding the first one not to my liking. I found the language stilted and pedantic, but it is not that way in the show. Or if it is, it is not as noticeable as it was in the book.

If you have an interest in the relationships of women, then I recommend this series. But it is not a happy series. This is serious drama covering a serious topic that receives little attention as it is.

Forty-one Years Ago

Today is my wedding anniversary. I have been married to the same man for 41 years.

Marriage is not easy. It is hard work, especially when you have two strong-willed and stubborn people living together. I was not and never will be a submissive wife. In fact, I removed that word "obey" from our wedding vows. Love, honor, and cherish only in this marriage. None of that obeying stuff on either party's part.

We both look at each other sometime and say, "Didn't we just get married about three weeks ago?" but there is a lifetime of memories behind those words.

There is the day we met.

The day we wed.

The day we moved into the home we built ourselves, each of us pounding nails.

The day I had the first of many surgeries, almost a month to the day after I went off birth control so we could try for a baby.

The day I finally had a hysterectomy, and the knowledge that the idea of a child was no more.

The days he became a lieutenant and each successive promotion after, until he became a battalion chief for the fire department in the nearby city.

The death of my mother and the death of his father.

The births of our nephews and my niece, and now my grand niece and nephew.

The day he caught his arm in the hay baler and the long recovery from that accident.

The day he had his ankle fused together.

The day he had his hip surgery.

So many days, all of them flying by as we aged, and time moved faster and faster as we acknowledged that our time was growing less with each passing moment.

 Those early jokes we made to one another about being old - now almost a reality (neither of us have dentures, but we have mouth guards).

And here we are, still holding hands when we walk through the store, still kissing in the parking lot, still holding on to each tightly in spite of the bad times and the good.

Still laughing at private jokes, making up silly songs to sing to one another, still learning who the other person is, even after all these years, because people wake anew every day, and you have to learn it all over again.

God love him, he has put up with a lot of crazy from me, with my creative bent leading me down strange paths, from writing to newspapers to editing books and doing other things that make a heart happy and a bank account poor.

Marrying him was the best day of my life. I hope it was the same for him, and I think it was.

Love. It's what the world is all about.

Sunday Stealing

1. When do you feel most authentically yourself?

A. I feel I am myself around my husband, my friends, and when I am writing. I am also myself when I am playing music.

2. What are you thankful for today?

A. Today I am thankful for my husband, who went out to run errands. On Monday, we are celebrating our anniversary.

3. Name a memory you hope you never forget.

A. I hope I never forget the day I married.

4. What are ways you connect with long distant friends?

A. I email them, send instant messages or texts to them, or write a real letter to them. I also occasionally call some of them.

5. How do you reconnect with yourself when you feel lost?

A. I usually go to sleep. After I wake up, I am more myself.

6. What would be your signature drink if you owned a café?

A. The Writer's Block would be an iced coffee, almost a slushie type of drink, with a big ice cube in it and a splash of Irish whisky.

7. What is something you’ve let go of as you've grown older?

A. I have let go of the idea that I have to always be doing something.

8. What are the things you're most likely to lie about?

A. I am most likely to tell white lies. "Does this look good on me?" "Well, of course!" Even if it doesn't. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.

9. What’s something you wish you had more time to learn?

A. I wish I had more time to learn how to drive a spaceship away from this planet.

10. List social media trends that puzzle you.

A. All social media trends puzzle me.

11. List local phrases and terms you use often.

A. "Cut off the light," which means to turn off the light. "Fixin' to," which means getting ready to go do something. "Bless your heart," which means either that's sad or not, depending on word emphasis and/or context. And then there's "over yonder" which means, well, over there somewhere.

12. If you could only wear only three colors, what would they be?

A. Black, blue, and purple.

13. What are your favorite books, music, tv, movies, and media this month?

A. This month is only half over, but we have been enjoying West Wing, which we somehow missed the first go-round.

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I encourage you to visit other participants in Sunday Stealing posts and leave a comment. Cheers to all us thieves who love memes, however we come by them.

Saturday 9: My Girl

Saturday 9: My Girl (1965)

Unfamiliar with this week's song? Hear it here.

1) Temptations' lead singer David Ruffin sings that he has sunshine on a cloudy day. How does the sky look where you are today?

A. The sky today is partly cloudy. Some blues, some puffy white clouds, and a few dark clouds hang over the tops of the mountains.

2) He maintains that even when it's cold outside, to him it feels like the month of May. What's your favorite month?

A. I'll go with June.

3) In addition to their vocals, The Temptations were known for their stylish suits and choreography. Are you a better dancer or dresser?

A. I am neither a dancer nor a good dresser. 

4) Today, nearly 60 years since its release, "My Girl" is one of the most popular karaoke songs. Do you know the words?

A. I know some of them. "I guess you'd say what could make me feel this way? My girl. Talking 'bout my girl." Some of the lines are coming back to me now. This is not a song I've spent a lot of time learning.

5) The Temptations delighted Mets fans when they performed "My Girl" live at Citi Field during the playoffs last month. The World Series is now over and the 2024 season is on the books. How did your baseball team do?

A. I do not have a baseball team.

6) "My Girl" was written by Ronald White and Smokey Robinson. Smokey grew up with Aretha Franklin, and he's said they played together in the sandbox. When you were little, which playground activity was your favorite: sandbox, jungle gym, swings or slide? 

A. I was not a fan of any of those activities. The jungle gym was for the bigger kids, generally. The swings were always taken, and the slide burned your butt in the hot sun. I don't think we had a sandbox.

7) In 1965, when "My Girl" topped the charts, Winston Churchill died. One of his favorite sayings was, "I am always ready to learn but I do not always like to be taught." What's something you learned recently?

A. I learned about a disease called lipedema when my doctor suggested I have it. She can't actually diagnosis it and apparently neither can anyone else in this end of the state. There is no cure if I have it. Lipedema is an abnormal fat buildup on both sides of your lower body, usually in your legs. But it can also be in your arms. It can cause pain and make daily activities difficult. Lipedema doesn’t respond to diet and exercise like ordinary fat. It is a hereditary disease.

8) British-born comedian Stan Laurel also died in 1965. He's been cited as an influence on Jerry Lewis, Dick Van Dyke and Matt LeBlanc. Without looking it up, do you know who Stan Laurel's famous partner was?

A. Hardy. Laurel and Hardy.

9) Random question: Imagine we Sat 9-ers are taking you to a restaurant for your birthday. Do you find servers who sing "Happy Birthday" cute or annoying?

A. I generally find it annoying, but it only happens once a year, so it's ok if it happens.

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I encourage you to visit the posts of other participants in Saturday 9 and leave a comment. Because there are no rules, it is your choice. Saturday 9 players hate rules. We love memes, however.