Last Friday I went to hear a famous guitar player. He was telling jokes, and I immediately thought, "There's my Thursday 13 topic!"
So here are 13 jokes for musicians.
1. Q: How do you get a guitar player to play softer?
A: Give him a sheet of music.
2. Q: What does a guitarist say when he gets to his gig?
A: Would you like fries with that?
3. Q: What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?
A: Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!
4. Q: What is the difference between a guitar and a tuna fish?
A: You can tune a guitar but you can't tuna fish.
5. Q: What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
A: A flat minor.
6. Q: What do you get if you run over an army officer with a steam roller?
A: A flat major.
7. A note left for a pianist from his wife: Gone Chopin, (have Liszt), Bach in a Minuet.
8. Q: What is the difference between a banjo and an anchor?
A: You tie a rope to an anchor before you throw it overboard.
9. Q: Why do so many fishermen own banjos?
A: They make great anchors!
10. Q: What is the difference between a banjo and a South American Macaw?
A: One is loud, obnoxious and noisy; the other is a bird.
11. Q: What do you say to the banjo player in the three piece suit?
A: Will the defendant please rise.
12. Q. What's the difference between a bagpipe and an onion?
A. No one cries when you chop up an bagpipe.
13. Q. What's the difference between a bagpipe and a trampoline?
A. You take off your shoes when you jump on a trampoline.
Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; there is a list here if you want to read other Thursday Thirteens and/or play along. I've been playing for a while and this is my 491st time to do a list of 13 on a Thursday.