Thursday, March 16, 2017

Thursday Thirteen

Last Friday I went to hear a famous guitar player. He was telling jokes, and I immediately thought, "There's my Thursday 13 topic!"

So here are 13 jokes for musicians.

1. Q: How do you get a guitar player to play softer?
   A: Give him a sheet of music.


2. Q: What does a guitarist say when he gets to his gig?
   A: Would you like fries with that?


3. Q: What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?
   A: Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!


4. Q: What is the difference between a guitar and a tuna fish?
   A: You can tune a guitar but you can't tuna fish.


5. Q: What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
   A: A flat minor.


6. Q: What do you get if you run over an army officer with a steam roller?
   A: A flat major.


7. A note left for a pianist from his wife: Gone Chopin, (have Liszt), Bach in a Minuet.

8. Q: What is the difference between a banjo and an anchor?
   A: You tie a rope to an anchor before you throw it overboard.


9. Q: Why do so many fishermen own banjos?
   A: They make great anchors!


10. Q: What is the difference between a banjo and a South American Macaw?
     A: One is loud, obnoxious and noisy; the other is a bird.


11. Q: What do you say to the banjo player in the three piece suit?
     A: Will the defendant please rise.


12. Q. What's the difference between a bagpipe and an onion?
     A. No one cries when you chop up an bagpipe.


13. Q. What's the difference between a bagpipe and a trampoline?
     A. You take off your shoes when you jump on a trampoline.

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Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; there is a list here if you want to read other Thursday Thirteens and/or play along. I've been playing for a while and this is my 491st time to do a list of 13 on a Thursday.

8 comments:

  1. I was getting them until #4 and then they all seemed funny. Guess I had to warm up. Brrr...

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    1. That's kind of funny because musicians have to "warm up" to before they begin playing - tuning and all of that. Ha!

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  2. Meant to say "wasn't getting them."

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  3. These are so much fun! What a crack up, though I do love the banjo and bagpipes.

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  4. Ha! Thanks for the laugh. I like, "Do you want fries with that?"

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  5. Thirty years ago I had a guitarist who loved the tuna fish joke. Told it all the time. I love #7.

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  6. Those are pretty funny. Jerry Jeff Walker made a lot of jokes when we heard him play a couple years ago. Maybe not that many, but it must put them at ease. Love the tuna fish joke! And #3, a savings bond will mature and earn money! LOL

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