Sunday Stealing: Why, Again?

From Sunday Stealing

Why Do You Want To Know That Meme, part four


76. What is the best advice you’ve ever been given? Not to put all my eggs in one basket.

77. Is it easier to forgive or forget? Forgive
 
78. First mobile phone? A Nokia, I think.

79. Strangest dream? Most of mine are pretty strange.

80. Best dream? The daydream where you win that $1.5 billion lottery.

81. Who is the smartest person you know? Depends on what kind of smarts you're looking for. Nobody is smart at everything.

82. Who is the prettiest person on you know? Like I'm going to answer that.
 
83. Do you miss anyone right now? My evil twin.

84. Who do you love? Why? I love lots of people, because we have good chemistry, carry on conversations, and care about one another.

85. Do you like sharing? Apparently, or I wouldn't do memes.

86. What was the last picture you took with your phone? I don't take pictures with my phone.

87. Is there a reason behind everything that happens? No.

88. Favorite genre of music? I like adult contemporary and 1970s music.

89. If you had one word to describe yourself, what would it be? Tired.

90. Describe your life in 5 words. Confused, loved, smart, loyal, health-challenged.

91. Craziest thing you’ve ever done? It's a tie between flying in a hot air balloon or going up in a two-seater airplane with a drunk pilot.

92. First three songs in your favorite playlist? I don't have a playlist.

93. Are you more creative or logical? I am logically creative.

94. Would you rather lie or hurt someone with the truth?  Depends on what it is.

95. What are you most proud of? That I am still alive.

96. What personality trait do you admire in other people? Loyalty.

97. When you imagine yourself as really, really relaxed and happy, what are you doing? Reading a book.

98. How do you usually start a conversation? Hi, how are you?

99. What is the best news you could hear right now? That the entire political landscape in the US has changed and we are now a well-regulated socialistic democracy instead of an oligarchy run by idiots. (I'm looking at you, Congress, and you, nutcases running for POTUS.)

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I encourage you to visit other participants in Sunday Stealing posts and leave a comment. Cheers to all us thieves who love memes, however we come by them.

Saturday 9: Let's Dance

Saturday 9: Let's Dance (1983)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

In memory of David Bowie (1947-2016). 

1) In this song, David encourages his partner to "put on your red shoes and dance." When did you last dance?

A. I have done a little skipsi-doodle occasionally in the last two years, but due to health issues it has been a while since I did anything remotely close to dancing.

2) Mr. Bowie recalled that he and choreographer Toni Basil developed a dance step now known as "the moonwalk" for his 1974 tour, nearly a decade before Michael Jackson performed "Billie Jean." Can you think of something you should have gotten credit for, but didn't?

A. I received the credit for leaving a bicycle behind my father's vehicle, which he then ran over, and for which I was whipped, but my brother actually did it. Which is the reverse of the question but what came to mind.

3) Similarly, the band Roxy Music was upset because Bowie copied their "catsuit look" for his own stage wardrobe and made it famous. What do you usually wear, Monday through Friday?

A. Jeans and a T-shirt, with a sweater or flannel shirt or something if it's cold.

4) David Bowie was particular about the aftershave he wore, and one of his favorites was by Guerlain. Do you regularly apply cologne or aftershave?

A. No. I am allergic to scents. My long-suffering husband gave up aftershave when we were dating because it made me break out in hives and has used unscented stuff ever since. (That is when I knew it was true love. When a man changes his aftershave for you, well, baby, you got it.)

5) In school, David's best subject was art. Think back to your own school days. In which class did you excel?

A. English. But I confess I was a straight-A student for the most part. When I received my masters I had a 3.96 average. I graduated 5th in my class in high school. But still, English was my best subject.

6) In addition to art and music, David Bowie displayed a keen head for business, leaving a fortune of more than $600,000,000. Would you describe yourself as "good with money?"

A. Apparently not that good, because I don't have no where near that many zeros in my bank accounts. But generally speaking, we have done okay.

7) Bowie also appeared in a variety of movies from The Man Who Fell to Earth to Zoolander. Who is your all-time favorite movie actor?

A. I don't really have one, or at least not one whose every movie I have seen. I like Sandra Bullock, Julia Roberts, Meg Ryan, Orlando Bloom, Ian McKellan and Viggo Mortenson. And I will say Alan Rickman, who also passed away this week, was the very best choice for Snape in the Harry Potter movies.

8) One of Bowie's hits is "Life on Mars." If you had the opportunity to travel into space, would you take it?

A. I would have 20 years ago. Now I would go if I had something to contribute to a colony, knowing that at my age I would die there and others would continue the journey.

9) The creators of SpongeBob Square Pants are huge Bowie fans and were thrilled when, in 2007, he appeared in an episode. Sam suspects that she may be the only person who hasn't seen that cartoon show. What about you? Have you ever watched an episode of SpongeBob, start to finish?

A. My dear Sam, I am right there with you. I have never seen an episode of SpongeBob. Nor have I seen The Simpsons or that show about some dad I see advertised.

Nice to do this tribute to David Bowie for Saturday 9. Thanks.
 
Thanks so much for joining in Saturday: 9. As always, feel free to come back, see who has participated and comment on their posts. In fact sometimes, if you want to read & comment on everyone's responses, you might want to check back again tomorrow. But it is not a rule. We haven’t any rules here. Join us next week for another version of Saturday: 9, "Just A Silly Meme on a Saturday!" Enjoy your weekend!
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I encourage you to visit other participants in Saturday 9 posts and leave a comment. Because there are no rules, it is your choice. Saturday 9 players hate rules. We love memes, however.

If You Go Chasing Rabbits

In the land of the free and the place where we worship dollar bills, passion rules.

All of my life, I've heard that one must "find her passion" in order to be successful. I understood that to mean I had to find something that engulfed all of my being. It would be the thing that overshadowed everything else you did, including your relationships, your sleep, and your health.

For example, if your passion is making money, regardless of morality, feelings, or anything else human and humane, then this is the country in which to live. I know somebody like that - a successful businessman who by most measures has it all - money, mostly. To my mind, he is not so passionate about nor rich in other things, like family and friendships, or knowledge about anything other than business. But if making money is your passion - and it seems to be the passion of many in this nation - go for it. You have the government's blessing and the envy of many.

Finding my passion and going after it, I was told, was the only way forward. But no matter how hard I looked, I couldn't find that singular thing that would drive me.

So some of us do not necessarily have what many call passion. I don't think I have never found my passion, and I know many people who don't have a passion. My passion, if I have one, lies with intangibles - learning, education, relationships. My writing has been my basic passion, but even there, I haven't had a passion to write anything particular, not poetry or novels or short stories, though I have an interest in all writing forms.

I have had a bit of a passion for news reporting, I think, in part because it is so varied. Chasing after a story is rather like being a hound dog going after a rabbit; you scrounge and search and sniff until the thing comes together and you have something to report.

But even that passion was like birdshot - it scattered in multiple directions. I liked to write about everything when I was freelancing steadily. I enjoyed writing features, I didn't mind writing sports, I covered schools, courts, and government.

I ended up as a government writer as much through happenstance as passion - I have a low immune system so the school systems kept me sick. School buildings are full of kids germs and they sneeze and snot all over everything.

Government, at least, has a more controlled environment where people make a pretense of washing their hands. They wear suits and generally stay home if they have the flu. So I settled in there and learned all I could about the topics I had to cover (at one time I knew the zoning code in my county as well as the zoning administrator). I discovered what I could and could not do with the state's Freedom of Information Act (once a powerful weapon, now a subject of disdain among a certain party in particular, the one with the initials GOP). I figured out how to write ledes to articles that drew a person in and weren't consistently boring. I won awards for the work, so I must have done okay with it.

But passion? I never considered it a passion. I would stop writing at a moment's notice if a family member needed me. I (almost) always answer when my husband says he wants me for something.

Maybe my definition of passion is faulty. Is passion simply going after one thing, singularly, and working and working at it until that is all you see, think, and feel? A place inside you where everything else is secondary - including family, who must understand that this passion comes first?

That kind of passion eludes me. I put family and friends first, because that is where my morality lies. Nothing I did came in first - because I was not passionate enough about it to make it a priority. And up until recently, I lamented that as a loss. It frustrated me because I floundered.

Then I ran across a speech by Elizabeth Gilbert. She titled it "Flight of the Hummingbird: the Curiosity Drive Life." I listened and had one of those "aha" moments.

While I am not necessarily a hummingbird, I am a rabbit (oddly enough, my Chinese animal) who runs around looking at everything.  Like a rabbit, I run around in circles nibbling at carrots and lettuce and spitting out tomatoes.

The deer is my animal totem - because they are curious, inquisitive (yet very shy) animals. Like the deer, I sniff at everything. I stand and look to see what I can see. And I see it all, the entire forest, from the earthy smell of loam to the sight of leaves undulating in the wind against a brilliant blue sky.

My life is one of curiosity, not one of passion, and I have decided that is okay. Not everyone has to be guided by their passion, or led by it. Not everyone must spend time chasing  after one single thing.

To be curious is to be the jack-of-all-trades, the person who knows a great deal about a good many things. Maybe I will never master the art of writing the novel, but my goodness, look at what I have written about in the last 30 years. Basketball and football games, hot air balloon rides, the history of my locality, profile pieces of important people.

I have met with governors, delegates, and senators, ducked under desks during heated meetings, watched time crawl like a stranded worm during dull and boring discussions, enjoyed seeing children go from being all teeth and arms to fantastic human beings, angered some folks and bewitched others with my words. Mostly I educated those around me and kept my community in touch with itself and the things that folks should know and understand if they are going to live in a place and be happy.

It takes a curious person to do all of that - to learn zoning and basketball, school systems and courts. It takes a bit of daring, too, to ride in a hot air balloon, or a two-seater airplane, or stand close to a burning building, camera in hand, watching as pieces of blazing wood fall around you.

When I heard Gilbert's talk, I felt liberated. Losing my newspaper work because of my health problems has been traumatic, and I wasn't sure what else I could do. But engaging my curiosity instead of finding my passion frees me to do, well, anything. I can try anything that strikes my fancy. It gives me permission to start and not finish a story because I grow bored with it. Being curious allows me to try different forms of writing, to change the settings on my camera to see what will happen, to look for new ways of healing that go beyond the norm.

Being a curious person allows me to chase rabbits. Thankfully, there are a million hares out there for me to hunt down.

Thursday Thirteen #430: When She's 10 Feet Tall

We all have those moments when we are filled with pride and delighted by something we have accomplished. Generally, these are big deal times in our life. Can I name 13 times when I was so pleased with my accomplishment that I felt 10 feet tall? Can you?

1. May 2012 - received my masters degree from Hollins University.

2. May 1993 - received my bachelors degree from Hollins University

3. May 1989 - received my associates degree from Virginia Western Community College

4. January 2014 - taught a one-hour class at Hollins University on journal writing for the Roanoke Regional Writer's conference.

5. November 1983 - married a wonderful man (this probably should have been first, but I was thinking backwards).

6. 2009 - won first place in a short story writing contest

7. 2002 - won the Virginia School Boards Association Media Honor Roll for Excellence in Education Writing

8. October 1984 - had my first story published in The Fincastle Herald. It was called "Making Shiloh Apple Butter." I can still remember meeting my mother at Mike's Market in Daleville, newspaper in hand, to show her the story.

9. November 1987 - moved into the house that my husband and I built with our own four hands. What a hectic but proud day.

10. 2005 - won 1st place for business and financial writing in the Virginia Press Association's annual contest.

11. 2001 - published 1st magazine article in a publication with a circulation of over 100,000.

12. June 1981 - graduated high school. I was one of five student speakers at graduation, and graduated 5th in my class.

13. October 1982 - met the man I would marry. We were at the high school rivalry football game, standing under the goal post.


I found this hard to do without looking back at my list of writing awards and such. Many of my "10 feet tall" moments have to do with my writing and education. Those are the things I love to do so that is not a surprise. It does give me something to think about moving forward, as I adjust to my new life and accept my new physical capabilities. (I also don't like to brag about my accomplishments.)

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Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; there is a list here if you want to read other Thursday Thirteens and/or play along. I've been playing for a while and this is my 430th time to do a list of 13 on a Thursday.

Go Ask Alice

This is not Alice.



Could this be where Alice lives?



Over the Rainbow - wait, that's Dorothy, not Alice.

 

Here's Alice, the Disney version.



Don't Do Anything At All

(This became a bit of a ramble, sorry.)

One of the things I forget most often is that doing nothing is a choice. It is not a conscious choice in most instances, but it is a choice.

We choose to get up, brush our teeth, dress, and go about our day. We could choose to lie in bed, but unless we are ill, we do not. If we are sick, though, we (hopefully) make the choice to stay inside and care for ourselves and not spread germs to others.

Most of choices are habit, things we were taught when we young. These are actions we were told we must take in order to be part of society, to fit in. Be clean, don't stink, look decent and attractive, find a job, marry, have children, purchase the house with the white picket fence (maybe not in that order). Expectations become choices, and we are not even aware that we have agreed to these expectations, because we made the choice to fit in when our choice, as an infant, was to fit in or die. Few infants choose to die, they choose to live. When the choice is between living or dying, most choose living.

So many people are unhappy today. I feel it seeping into my bones when I go out of my home. People are grouchy at the drugstore. They are irritable at the grocery store.

We have dozens standing around on sidewalks touting their "right" to open carry a gun because they feel insecure and uncomfortable with the world. They are fearful, weak people, in my opinion, and I have made the choice that if I see a person with a gun, I don't care if they can legally carry it, I am leaving the area immediately (unless it is a policeman carrying the gun, someone who hopefully has been trained to use a weapon, and even then I might leave). If that means my grocery cart sits in the aisle of Kroger, so be it. If my meal goes uneaten (and unpaid for) so be it. I have no way of knowing if the person with the gun is sane or knows how to use a weapon, and in order to preserve my life, and those that I love, I will insist upon leaving.

That is my choice. My other choice would be to ignore it and hope I am not shot, but I do not have nerves of steel and thus will remove myself. I do not believe a citizen can respond appropriately to an active shooter, so carrying a gun makes no sense to me. If reflexes made us secure, we would have no dead policemen. But we do. And this it not the wild, wild west.

Okay, so I am not sure where the gun thing came from, I guess because earlier I read an article about idiots doing an open carry thing in Roanoke yesterday. This is supposed to be an essay about making choices.

We choose to take the first drag of a cigarette. It is the second (or 17th) that creates the habit that creates the addiction. Fortunately I never liked cigarettes and am allergic to the smoke from them anyway. It is the same with alcohol. Some can manage it in social situations, some can have a single drink every night and be fine, others, having made the choice to overdrink, become belligerent irritating assholes or sobbing, crying piles of mush. I don't drink at all, having seen what effect it can have.

I am choosing to write this knowing I am probably angering a few people. I have chosen not to care. It's my blog and I can write what I like. People don't have to read it. I don't think too many people read these longer pieces anyway.

The main thing I want to point out is that doing nothing is a choice. If you choose not to vote, you have chosen to do nothing. If you are unhappy in your work, and yet you rise from your bed day after day and go into the office, you have made that choice. Most likely you feel trapped - there are bills to pay, after all - so you do not feel it is a choice, but it is. You could find other work. Or you could simply quit and hope things work themselves out (not advisable, but still a choice). You could start a side business that makes you happy, with the expectation that eventually that enjoyable side business would support you someday, and you could leave the bill-paying job. Maybe it won't happen, but you will have made the effort, and hopefully be happier for it.

I realize that where I am is because I have, in many cases, made poor choices. I have made good choices, too, but particularly where my health is concerned, my choices have not been the best. I eat sugar because I crave it, and maybe I am addicted to it, but it is still my choice as to whether or not I eat it. Some people call that lack of will power, and perhaps it is. Maybe Hershey's is my crutch. Perhaps I carry around a chocolate bar like other people carry guns. Though the first does not kill anyone but me, and hopefully not for a while.

Doing nothing is a choice. Standing back and watching the county supervisors rip away our history is a choice - things can be fought against. You may not win, but you don't have to take it lying down.

Watching big corporations take land for pipelines and doing nothing is a choice.

By doing nothing, we are choosing to let others run society for us. We become bystanders in life. We all do this to some degree - we can't be on top of every cause, every misery, every bit of turmoil in the world, or even in our own household. But we can make choices to read more, to be better informed, to educate ourselves about society around us.

We can vote. So many people don't vote - which is a pity because their absence has created much of what we see today. Apathy is destroying democracy.

Sometimes doing nothing is the correct choice - but it should be acknowledged as one of the choices available. For example, you see something on sale. You can choose to buy it, or not. Not buying is not a choice of doing nothing. It is a choice of not buying. A choice of doing nothing would be to walk by a homeless person on the street without giving the soul a glance. Or not speaking up when you see someone hurting someone else. Or staying in the job you hate. Those are choices of doing nothing. We choose not to be involved or make a change in most cases because we can't foresee an outcome.

Which makes me wonder if doing nothing is really the result of fear, that palatable fear I feel these days when I am public. We have become a nation of scared, fearful folk, a result not of doing nothing but because those who lead and have power have decided that scared, fearful people are easier to manipulate and rule.

I would like to see us stop doing nothing. I would like to see every person make one phone call this year to an elected representative to voice a complaint or make a suggestion, or take pen to paper to write an official. Put a letter to the editor out there, or maybe start a blog - it doesn't matter if only one person reads it - and express your opinion. Speak out in public places. Say hello and make eye contact in the grocery store. Smile!

But please, don't do anything at all.

Sunday Stealing: Why?

From Sunday Stealing

Why Do You Want To Know That Meme, part three

50. What do you spend most of your money on? Food and household items.

51. Would you rather visit the past or the future? The future.

52. Favorite clothing store? J.C. Penney's

53. What is the best advice you can give to those who are feeling down? Remember that tomorrow might be better.

54. How often do you think about your future? Does it scare you? I think about it a lot. It scares me more as I age. I have a fear of living in a dumpster. I tend toward dystopian theory.
 
55. What angers you the most? Politics or someone being unkind. These days those are the same thing, aren't they?

56. When was the last time you got majorly angry? When my brand-new couch broke.

57. When was the last time you got really sad? When my brand-new couch broke.

58. Are you good at lying? I don't think so.

59. What foreign language would you like to learn? I used to speak Spanish but have forgotten most of it.

60. How many languages can you speak and what are they? I used to speak Spanish and Latin.

61. How often do you go to parties? If you don’t, what do you do instead? I don't go to parties. I stay home and play video games, read, write, or play guitar.

62. What books do you plan to read this year? I am currently revisiting Harry Potter and have it in my head that I might go back and read old Newberry Award winning children's books.

63. Do you have breakfast every morning? Sometimes it is actually lunch.

64. Tell us a secret. I have problems with depression.

65. How many concerts have you been to? Many. I did not keep track.

66. Last hug? Husband.

67. Who knows you better than anyone else? My husband.

68. Baths or showers? Showers.

69. Do you think you’re ambitious? In a mediocre sort of way.

70. What song is stuck in your head? Sail on, honey. Good times have never felt so good.

71. Countries you’ve visited? Spain and France.

72. What do you most value in your friends? Their intelligence.

73. What helps you to sleep better? A hot shower.

74. What is the most money you have ever held in your hand? When I worked for lawyers I held checks that were made out in millions. Award settlements.

75. What makes you nervous? High winds.

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I encourage you to visit other participants in Sunday Stealing posts and leave a comment. Cheers to all us thieves who love memes, however we come by them.

Saturday 9: Five O'Clock World

Saturday 9: Five O'Clock World (1966)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.


1. Think back to Friday. Did it fly by? Or did you find yourself checking the clock and wishing it was 5:00?

A. I don't have a 9-5 job, so I really didn't care when it was 5:00. But it was a busy day.

2. This song refers to the 5:00 whistle that signifies the end of the work day. What's the last whistle, alarm or buzzer you heard?

A. The buzzer on the clothes dryer. Really exciting, right?

3. In the 1960s, the Vogues often appeared on TV variety shows to promote their record albums. Do you have the TV on now, as you answer these questions?

A. No. I seldom have the TV on.

4. "Vogue" means "popular or fashionable." Tell us about something that you feel is in vogue today.

A. Being rude to other people and thinking your opinion is "fact."

5. Vogue magazine reported that the big Fall/Winter trend was brocade. Describe the latest addition to your Fall/Winter wardrobe.

A. I bought three new pair of pants last week. One was denim, the other two were black.

6. Vogue editor Anna Wintour is such a difficult boss that disgruntled employees nicknamed her "Nuclear Wintour." What qualities do you think make a good boss?

A. Understanding, compassion, empathy, and knowledge of product/service being offered.

7. Ms. Wintour was rumored to be the inspiration for the character of Amanda in the book and movie, The Devil Wears Prada. Did you receive any books or movies for Christmas 2015? Did you receive any gift cards that you then used for books or movies?

A. I received a coloring book and an Amazon gift certificate that I have yet to use.

8. "Vogue" was also a dance, made famous by Madonna in her 1990 hit by the same name. Can you name another Madonna song?

A. Like a Virgin.

9. Random question from a Sat9-er: How organized are your clean clothes? (Stacked in piles, folded neatly in drawers, still in the dryer....?)

A. Semi-organized. Most are in drawers or on hangers, but maybe not so neatly folded and perhaps crammed in the closet somewhat, and the ones I washed first thing this morning are still in the basket.



Thanks so much for joining in Saturday: 9. As always, feel free to come back, see who has participated and comment on their posts. In fact sometimes, if you want to read & comment on everyone's responses, you might want to check back again tomorrow. But it is not a rule. We haven’t any rules here. Join us next week for another version of Saturday: 9, "Just A Silly Meme on a Saturday!" Enjoy your weekend!
_____________

I encourage you to visit other participants in Saturday 9 posts and leave a comment. Because there are no rules, it is your choice. Saturday 9 players hate rules. We love memes, however.

Thursday Thirteen: The Ones That Mother Gives You

We all have that voice in our head, echoing from days long past. It is especially strong in women, I think, because daughters spend more time with their mothers, and those mom-isms lodge themselves in our brains.

So, 13 things Mom might have told you:


1. Wear clean and mended underwear. Heaven forbid you wreck the car and the medics see that the elastic on your tighty-whiteys is frayed.

2. Have your own money. My mother was quite insistent on this point, and while my husband and I have always had a joint account, I have always had a separate checkbook for myself. When I was working, I paid smaller bills, my car payment, etc., and credit cards are in my name as well as hubby's. Every women should stash away enough money that she can leave if she must. You never know how a man will turn out.

3. Always wear make-up. My mother was big on this - maybe not all mothers are. But an unmade face should never go out in public. Your clothing, too, should be clean and decent.

4. Mind your manners. I'm not sure many people remember this one these days - we seem to have become the most ill-bred bunch of loud-mouthed illiterates the nation has ever produced - but I still say yes ma'am and no sir to the point that I have actually had people I am dealing with on the phone about some issue or another stop the conversation and ask me where I was raised because they usually did not hear such politeness.

5. If you can't say something nice, say nothing at all. I tend to live with this on social media. I notice many people do not. Even an innocuous comment can receive the most vicious and nastiest retort. For the record, I think people who must do that are incredibly insecure in themselves and are only trying to make themselves important by bringing down someone else.

6. Be careful what you wish for. I never quite understood this one, and perhaps because I don't believe in the "law of attraction" I never will - but even so, I try not to wish for bad things. Nor do I wish for an abundance of good things. I generally only want enough, whatever that is.

7. Because I said so. This is actually a good one to use as an adult with other adults, too, only perhaps in other forms. For example, "it is not my policy." Well nobody can break a "policy" even if it is one you made up on the spot. "I'm sorry, it is not my policy to speak to people after 6 p.m." And if you're the boss, well, then "because I said so," is the perfect response to the reluctant employee who doesn't want to do his job the way you want it done. (Though a good boss might listen to the reasons for a change of policy.)

8. If you have a man around, you'll never have nice things. My mother said this a lot because men seem to track in lots of dirt, put glasses on furniture, break dishes, and otherwise ruin "stuff" that women may value. I know I have said this on occasion to my husband: my mother was right, men always break things. Oh dear.

9. I brought you into this world and I can take you out of it. This is actually a horrible and scary threat to a child, but it is, alas, one I heard with some frequency. I prefer things like, "if you don't behave you're, I'll knock you into next week," if one must make such threats. At least being knocked into the future doesn't imply imminent death.

10. I do all this work and this is the thanks I get? Yikes. Yes, mom, you did the cooking and cleaning and we didn't say thank you because you taught us to expect you to do it. That, of course, is not the lesson you wanted to teach but it is what we learned. It's what every girl learns.

11. Don't talk to strangers. I guess I tossed this one completely out the window because I will strike up conversations with anyone if I'm in the mood. I think it is the news reporter in me, or so says my husband. But really, these days, one can't be too careful. You never know what will come out of the other person's mouth (see #4 above, about manners).

12. Marry a man who treats his mother well. This advice worked for me. My husband's family was and is very close-knit.

13. You did it, you deal with it. I'm not sure parents say this today. If they did we wouldn't have helicopter parenting. But my mother told me this. If I made the mess, I had to clean it up. If I started the fight, I had to finish it one way or the other. If I took a job I didn't like, I had to either learn to like it or leave. You get the picture.

What did you mother tell you that you still remember?


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Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; there is a list here if you want to read other Thursday Thirteens and/or play along. I've been playing for a while and this is my 429th time to do a list of 13 on a Thursday.

One Pill Makes You Small

Last night I watched the PBS show Finding Your Roots. This first episode of the season involved "the unsolved mysteries behind the family stories of political organizer Donna Brazile, actor Ty Burrell and artist Kara Walker as they learn how the legacy of slavery has shaped their identities."

While I was not familiar with any of these people, their search for their heritage led them back to pre-Civil War era slavery. Donna Brazile and Kara Walker are both black; Ty Burrell (Modern Family) is a white actor whose 4th great-grandfather raped his girl-child slave at 13 - producing a child whose children ultimately produced the actor.

Documents produced during this documentary included sales slips, wills showing the value of slaves, photos, and other paperwork that showed not only the intermingling of race but also the indignity of slavery and the horror of people being considered property.

I felt very small as I watched this, knowing that locally we are having similar discussions about old slave quarters over at the Greenfield site. That's an industrial park purchased 20 years ago that has never paid off and has evolved into more of a recreational area than I think the county administration ever intended.

Botetourt has a lot of history. We do not have a large black population here, but some are descendants of the slaves owned by the Preston family. The Prestons were big-deal folk back in their day and they had a number of slaves.

The slave quarters at Greenfield, being prepped for moving. Photo taken December 30, 2015.

The slave quarters at Greenfield. Photo taken December 30, 2015.

My husband's family, going back to pre-Civil War days, also owned slaves on property next door to the Preston land. My husband's family did not know the ancestor patriarch was a slave holder, apparently, until I ran across a will where the landowner gave his slave property to his wife and children. I imagine some people still living in this county are descendants from those slaves as well - they may not even know it. Unfortunately, much of that history was destroyed in the late 1960s-early 1970s when the farm became a subdivision. By that time the property was out of family hands, and I wasn't part of the family anyway. But I still feel small when I think about it, and what was probably lost. No doubt developers simply bulldozed away valuable historic artifacts.

The impact upon the individuals in the PBS show was significant. The actor was ashamed of his slave-owning grandfather who raped a child. The other women were upset to learn for certain that they had slaves in their background, some of which were sold at young ages. It was heart breaking to watch as they discovered their heritage. They were saddened and angry, as they should have been, at this intolerable treatment of human beings.

This whole affair here locally, wherein slave quarters are being moved to a new location in order to construct a shell building with no tenant in sight, has not been handled well. The county administration, including the supervisors who as the ultimate authority unfortunately end up with all the blame, neglected to inform the public of their plans until the final hour. They have been defensive and disingenuous in their arguments, saying that the public has known for 20 years that the structures would be moved. They need to own their missteps.

Items from the slave quarters. Photo taken December 30, 2015.

Shirley Johnson-Lewis, who said her ancestors were slaves at Greenfield,
 discussed the issue with concerned citizens.
The slave quarters are in the background. Photo taken December 30, 2016.

That 20-year-old plan lay in a dusty folder somewhere and had long been forgotten. Many people who live here now and enjoy the recreational opportunities at Greenfield didn't know such a document existed. The lack of transparency by the administration over this shell building project and the secrecy with which it has been executed has caused the problem. People feel betrayed. The supervisors feel like they are receiving undeserved criticism. There is right and wrong on both sides, as there always is. I understand what is going on but it is a complicated mess. I am not sure the general public actually realizes all that is involved.

Today there is a meeting at the Fincastle library at 1:00 p.m. It is a citizens' group, trying to organize to combat what they see as injustice. While I applaud their efforts, I feel this cause has been lost. The structures are already in the process of being prepped for moving. At least they are not simply tearing them down; they are relocating the structures, hopefully in their entirety if they don't fall apart. So there is some effort to preserve this history, just not in situ, which historians prefer.

View from the slave quarters.
This knoll will be leveled for the shell building. Photo taken December 30, 2015.

View from the slave quarters. Photo taken December 30, 2015.

I don't know what the answer is. I don't believe in tearing down monuments to the Civil War. I don't think the Confederate flag should be waved about - it belongs in a museum as the history it is. I don't think ignoring the past and hoping it will go away is the answer. Many people deny that the problems we have today go back 150 years to slavery, but of course they do. They go back even further than that, to the time of the feudal systems and other forms of control that have always existed. There has always been people at the top and people at the bottom. The fact that I know (knew?) a "middle class" was just the luck of the time I was born in. In the annals of history, the middle class is just a blip.

The world is a very big place. The implications of small actions can have big impacts. Good intentions can turn bad with the twist of a knife. It is a small world we live in, but with very large costs.

One Pill Makes You Larger

The shelves of my local supermarket this morning were completely bare of yogurt.

It is January 4, so everyone in my county, apparently, has gone on a diet. They are joining gyms that they will attend twice, looking up apps for their cell phones, calculating calories, and watching exercise videos on YouTube or Netflix or wherever they can find them.

Dieting and eating well is so complicated that if you type in "dieting" on Amazon, you receive back more than 100,000 results. Type in "eating healthy" and you receive more than 50,000 results.

So there are more than 150,000 ways, at least, to go about trying to lose weight and be healthy.

I am fat. Obese. Large. I admit it. I hate it. Nobody likes to have to purchase plus sizes in the women's department. We just don't. Of course we're rather shop in the smaller sizes. We'd rather wear a dress with a waist and not something that looks like a tent.

Most people are not overweight by choice. I suppose there are a few who are, but I don't know of any.

Do people overeat? Sure. Do they know why? Probably not. Some are emotional eaters - they get upset and reach for the nearest candy bar. Some eat too fast and it takes them a long time to fill up. They don't stop when they are hungry because the message that they've had enough to eat doesn't get to their brain fast enough.

We live sedentary lifestyles now, sitting in front of screens. We don't sweat and work the land and walk behind a cow with a plow. But even people who do outside work, farmers, construction workers, and others, end up with belly overhangs.

I think much of our weight issues are environmental, and I include the "non-food food industry" in that assessment. Much of what we eat is stuff that pretends to be food. I was raised on it, and you probably were, too. My parents had a garden and we ate fresh vegetables, of course, but we also ate TV dinners, sandwiches, hot dogs, bologna, and whatever else. My mother wasn't a stay-at-home mom; she worked. Dinner tended to be whatever she could get that was quick and easy. I tried to help but hated (and still hate) to cook.

Those additives are addictive. Not just sugar, but the things with long names that certainly do not sound like "broccoli." Who knows what kind of changes those chemicals do to bodies?

I have a nephew who is into body building. He eats a strict diet and drinks gallons and gallons of distilled water. Because our water is all polluted, too, you know. We have no idea what we're drinking. My water comes from a well and I am sure there are chemicals - pesticides and such - leeching into the water from the farm. I use three sets of filtration systems on the water I drink, but I daresay that doesn't get it all.

Not all of us have my nephew's desire for muscles, or necessarily the ability and time to eat with such restrictions. And those restrictions apparently aren't healthy - my nephew recently went to the doctor with stomach pains and the diagnosis was his body building diet. So while he might be the vision of a small demi-god, he is not entirely healthy.

For me, my weight issues are multiple. I am too sedentary - an issue worsened by physical traumas that include problems with my ankle (bone-on-bone), problems with my hip and stomach (scar tissue problems from previous surgeries) and a rib in my back that constantly slips in and out, keeping me from breathing well or moving my arm. I have hormonal issues created by a hysterectomy and thyroid issues.

Many of the drugs I take for the above issues, along with my high blood pressure, encourage fluid retention.

I have, of course, attempted many diets. I lost weight on Atkins but felt like crap. I lost weight on Weight Watchers but felt like crap. I am quick to figure out ways to "cheat" on any diet - if it says eat a cup of spaghetti, well, a cup of dried spaghetti turns into a larger portion than a cup of cooked spaghetti, but hey, I still had a cup of spaghetti in the end. I have read many diet books and they all confound me with their calorie-counting and exercises.

The last time I lost a lot of weight was when I had a gallbladder attack and couldn't eat for 8 days. Great weight loss but I felt like crap, and then had the surgery that's left me in a bad way.

I think the answer, for me, and probably for many people, lies in changing our food supply. We need to stop with the pesticides and the chemicals and the things that aren't truly meant for human consumption. We need to clean the environment - air, water, soil - and work at making a utopia, not a dystopia.

Otherwise, I think we will all, ultimately, be fat.