I Would Wear Black

Saturday 9: Copacabana

Unfamiliar with this week's song? Hear it here.  (Go Barry Manilow! Woot!)

1) This song refers to the merengue and the cha-cha. Are you a good dancer?

A. Here name was Lola, she was a show girl . . . oh wait, you asked a question. I am not a good dancer. I can't dance at all, really. I look like Elaine on Seinfield, truth be known.

2) Dances like the merengue and cha-cha are featured on Dancing with the Stars. Are you a loyal DWTS viewer?

A. I have never seen the show. This should not surprise regular readers, who by now are well aware that I spend little time with the tube.

3) The Copa girl in the song, Lola, wears yellow feathers in her hair and a dress cut down to there. If we were going to the clubs tonight, what would you wear? 

A. Black. I would wear black. Black pants, black shirt, black jacket, black shoes. Pearl earrings and a pearl necklace. Maybe pearl buttons on the jacket, except I don't own anything like that. But we're pretending, so what the heck.

4) The real Copacabana nightclub was on East 60th Street in New York. It was used as a setting for the movie Goodfellas. Do you have a favorite mobster movie?

A. Nope. That was easy. Next question? 

5) Our featured artist, Barry Manilow, has unfortunately spent a great deal of this young century in the hospital -- broken nose, face lift, chest pains and two hip surgeries. Tell us about your most recent trip to the doctor, ER, or dentist.

A. Most recently I saw my family doctor for yet another consultation about my constant and chronic abdominal pain, fatigue, and bleeding ulcers, none of which apparently are related in the minds of the gods who call themselves doctors. She did four vials of blood work, all of which came back okay or within "high normal" ranges on some things, which was better than it had been, and really badly on one thing that was worse than it has ever been. So improvement, yay. Worsening stuff, boo.

6) Manilow told US Magazine that he enjoys nude sunbathing. Have you ever skinny dipped or sunbathed au naturel?

A. I can't say that I have, no. I keep private things private.

7) Before he became famous as a performer, Manilow was a very successful jingle writer. "Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there …" and "You deserve a break today at McDonald's …" were his. Tell us about a TV commercial you saw recently.

A. I think that Dish commercial about "the hopper" is the most annoying thing ever produced. I like the Chevy commercial that has the bull in it, mostly because we raise cows. We don't like Chevys, though, in this household.

8) The Manilow faithful are known as Fanilows and proudly wear Barry hoodies, wristwatches and even dog tags. Do you have any clothes that feature a recording artist?

A. Nope. Next question.

9) In 2005, Manilow refused to respond when Larry King inquired about his sexuality. Do you think it's rude for interviewers to ask personal questions? Or is it something a performer should expect because it goes with the job?

A. I think it says something about us as a society that we find such information titillating and think an interviewer isn't doing his/her job if the questions aren't asked. I believe in privacy and the bedroom is one area where no one, and I mean no one, has any business when it involves consenting adults. We are a bunch of sick puppies in this country, drooling all over the rug hoping for a taste of dirt. So yes, it is rude. In today's world, it should be expected, but that doesn't mean anyone has to answer the question.