Sunday Stealing: Conversation Starters
1. What are some small things that make your day better?
A. Having someone fix dinner is always a help. Or at least make the decision about what I should fix.
2. What shows are you into?
A. Game of Thrones, Victoria (coming tonight on PBS for its second season), The Big Bang Theory, Survivor (I have no idea why), Supergirl, Bill Maher.
3. What TV channel doesn’t exist but really should?
A. How about an actual History Channel that really tells history?
4. Who has impressed you most with what they’ve accomplished?
A. Hillary Clinton. She's the most impressive person I can think of. And even though they continue to beat her over the head now that she's a private citizen, she still takes their brutal patriarchal BS and marches on.
5. What age do you wish you could permanently be?
A. I don't really wish it, but probably about 30. By then you're old enough to know better and young enough to do it anyway.
6. What TV show or movie do you refuse to watch?
A. I don't watch horror, porn, or anything with Adam Sandler in it.
7. What is something that is considered a luxury, but you don’t think you could live without?
A. A computer.
8. What’s your claim to fame?
A. I used to be a newspaper reporter and I had about 20,000 readers.
9. What’s something you like to do the old-fashioned way?
A. I still like to write by hand.
10. What’s your favorite genre of book or movie?
A. Fantasy.
11. How often do you people watch?
A. Not often because I don't get out much.
12. What have you only recently formed an opinion about?
A. Um. :::scratches head::: Um. Oh. I decided that using an online doctor service is okay in a pinch.
13. What are you interested in that most people haven’t heard of?
A. Equality. Oh yes, everyone has heard of that. But have they really listened?
14. What’s the farthest you’ve ever been from home?
A. Paris, France.
15. What is the most heartwarming thing you’ve ever seen?
A. These days, anytime I see a parent put down their cellphone and pay attention to their kid it is heartwarming.
16. What is the most annoying question that people ask you?
A. Why I am not working for the newspaper anymore.
17. What could you give a 40-minute presentation on with absolutely no preparation?
A. How to write a newspaper article.
18. If you were dictator of a small island nation, what crazy dictator stuff would you do?
A. I would offer up universal healthcare and free life-long education plus a base line social net for everybody. Crazy, huh?
19. What is something you think everyone should do at least once in their lives?
A. Fall in love.
__________
I encourage you to visit other participants in Sunday Stealing posts and leave a comment. Cheers to all us thieves who love memes, however we come by them.
Sunday, January 14, 2018
Saturday, January 13, 2018
Saturday 9: Piano
Saturday 9: Piano (2013)
Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.
1) As she sings, Ariana muses about the songs she could compose on her piano. Do you play the piano?
A. A little. I took lessons when I was young, but it has been a very long time since I tickled the ivories.
2) She compares love songs, saying there are sad ones about how hard love is, and happy ones that make you want to dance. What's your favorite love song? Is it sad or happy?
A. I guess it would be the theme from Titanic: My Heart Will Go On. Since it talks about being apart, I suppose it is sad.
3) Ariana's mother always told her that they took her name from Princess Oriana in the 1988 movie Felix the Cat. Who is your favorite cartoon character?
A. Bugs Bunny. Eh, what's up, Doc?
4) Ariana's favorite board game is Monopoly. What's your favorite board game?
A. I like Monopoly, too, but we usually play Scrabble.
5) She relaxes by baking. When you feel keyed up, what do you do to relax?
A. Play video games or read.
6) She is a huge Florida Panthers fan, even though once, as a little girl, she got hit by a puck. Now that the NHL season is underway, how's your favorite team doing?
A. I don't follow hockey, sorry.
7) In 2013, when this song was popular, the NHL reached an agreement with the players union and averted a strike. Have you ever belonged to a union?
A. My husband belongs to a union, and for a while I belonged to the National Writer's Union.
8) Also in 2013, Pauline Philips died. Ms. Philips was better known to millions of readers as "Dear Abby." At its height, her advice column appeared in 1,400 newspapers across the country. Do you still read a printed copy of your newspaper?
A. I do. Every day. Plus I read the print copy of the local weekly.
9) If you could get the answer to one question about your future, what would that one question be?
A. Tough one. I suppose maybe whether or not I will outlive my husband. I don't particularly want to. I want to know the future of humanity, but not necessarily my own future.
_____________
I encourage you to visit other participants in Saturday 9 posts and leave a comment. Because there are no rules, it is your choice. Saturday 9 players hate rules. We love memes, however.
Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.
1) As she sings, Ariana muses about the songs she could compose on her piano. Do you play the piano?
A. A little. I took lessons when I was young, but it has been a very long time since I tickled the ivories.
2) She compares love songs, saying there are sad ones about how hard love is, and happy ones that make you want to dance. What's your favorite love song? Is it sad or happy?
A. I guess it would be the theme from Titanic: My Heart Will Go On. Since it talks about being apart, I suppose it is sad.
3) Ariana's mother always told her that they took her name from Princess Oriana in the 1988 movie Felix the Cat. Who is your favorite cartoon character?
A. Bugs Bunny. Eh, what's up, Doc?
4) Ariana's favorite board game is Monopoly. What's your favorite board game?
A. I like Monopoly, too, but we usually play Scrabble.
5) She relaxes by baking. When you feel keyed up, what do you do to relax?
A. Play video games or read.
6) She is a huge Florida Panthers fan, even though once, as a little girl, she got hit by a puck. Now that the NHL season is underway, how's your favorite team doing?
A. I don't follow hockey, sorry.
7) In 2013, when this song was popular, the NHL reached an agreement with the players union and averted a strike. Have you ever belonged to a union?
A. My husband belongs to a union, and for a while I belonged to the National Writer's Union.
8) Also in 2013, Pauline Philips died. Ms. Philips was better known to millions of readers as "Dear Abby." At its height, her advice column appeared in 1,400 newspapers across the country. Do you still read a printed copy of your newspaper?
A. I do. Every day. Plus I read the print copy of the local weekly.
9) If you could get the answer to one question about your future, what would that one question be?
A. Tough one. I suppose maybe whether or not I will outlive my husband. I don't particularly want to. I want to know the future of humanity, but not necessarily my own future.
_____________
I encourage you to visit other participants in Saturday 9 posts and leave a comment. Because there are no rules, it is your choice. Saturday 9 players hate rules. We love memes, however.
Thursday, January 11, 2018
Thursday Thirteen
Types of Evergreen Trees
1. Eastern White Pine (Pinus strobus) is a fast-growing species that reaches 80 feet or more. (I think we call these bull pines or Carolina pines.)
2. Pinyon Pine (P. edulis) is a slow-growing short pine. It reaches only 12-15 feet in height.
3. Monterey Pine (P. radiata) grows quickly and reaches anywhere from 80-100 feet tall without pruning.
4. Allepo or Mediterranean Pine (P. halepensis) is a fast growing tree that reaches 30-60 feet. This pine likes poor soils and drought-like conditions. It also tolerates heat and windy conditions.
5. Japanese Black Pine (P. thunberglana) is fast growing tree that reaches 60 feet in height. It has dark gray to black bark.
6. Norway Spruce (Picea abies) grows up to 60 feet and has attractive dark green foliage on drooping branches and produces decorative, purplish-red cones.
7. Colorado Blue Spruce (P. pungens glauca) grows to 60 feet. It has a pyramidal shape and blue-gray foliage. (I have four of these in my yard. They have a fungus caused by drought and I fear we are going to lose the trees.)
8. White Fir (Abies concolor) grows to 35-50 feet. This tree has soft, gray-green to silvery blue-green foliage.
9. Douglas Fir (Pseudotsuga menziesii) is fast-growing and reaches 50-80 feet in height.
10. Fraser Fir (A. fraseri) grows up to 40 feet high. It has a narrow pyramidal shape and grows up to
40 feet.
11. Cedar (Cedrus spp.) grow from 30 to 60 feet high.
12. Thuja grows up to 40 feet high. It is also called arborvitae and is used in landscaping as a foundation plant or for screening.
13. Cypress (Cupressus spp.) have a soft, feathery-like texture and symmetrical shape. They are most often used in creating privacy hedges and borders. Favorites include Arizona (C. arizonica) and Leyland (Cupressocyparis leylandii).
Information from gardeningknowhow.com.
_______
Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; there is a list here if you want to read other Thursday Thirteens and/or play along. I've been playing for a while and this is my 534th time to do a list of 13 on a Thursday.
 |
| Eastern White Pine |
2. Pinyon Pine (P. edulis) is a slow-growing short pine. It reaches only 12-15 feet in height.
3. Monterey Pine (P. radiata) grows quickly and reaches anywhere from 80-100 feet tall without pruning.
 |
| Allepo Pine |
5. Japanese Black Pine (P. thunberglana) is fast growing tree that reaches 60 feet in height. It has dark gray to black bark.
6. Norway Spruce (Picea abies) grows up to 60 feet and has attractive dark green foliage on drooping branches and produces decorative, purplish-red cones.
7. Colorado Blue Spruce (P. pungens glauca) grows to 60 feet. It has a pyramidal shape and blue-gray foliage. (I have four of these in my yard. They have a fungus caused by drought and I fear we are going to lose the trees.)
 |
| Colorado Blue Spruce |
8. White Fir (Abies concolor) grows to 35-50 feet. This tree has soft, gray-green to silvery blue-green foliage.
9. Douglas Fir (Pseudotsuga menziesii) is fast-growing and reaches 50-80 feet in height.
10. Fraser Fir (A. fraseri) grows up to 40 feet high. It has a narrow pyramidal shape and grows up to
40 feet.
11. Cedar (Cedrus spp.) grow from 30 to 60 feet high.
 |
| Snow on cedars and "bull" pines. |
12. Thuja grows up to 40 feet high. It is also called arborvitae and is used in landscaping as a foundation plant or for screening.
13. Cypress (Cupressus spp.) have a soft, feathery-like texture and symmetrical shape. They are most often used in creating privacy hedges and borders. Favorites include Arizona (C. arizonica) and Leyland (Cupressocyparis leylandii).
Information from gardeningknowhow.com.
_______
Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; there is a list here if you want to read other Thursday Thirteens and/or play along. I've been playing for a while and this is my 534th time to do a list of 13 on a Thursday.
Wednesday, January 10, 2018
SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT
*This is a work of fiction.*
I am going to run for President of the United States.
I don't have a platform, but I don't need one. I promise you this: under my administration you will not pay federal taxes to the United States of America. None.
That's because I promise that within my first year, there will no longer be a United States of America.
Within one hour of my swearing in, I will call a special session of every state governor and its two senators (forget Congress, bunch of yahoos). Together we will divide up the country, and end this fiasco.
We will negate the U.S. Constitution forever. Each new little country can do what it damn well pleases.
This means you will no longer have Social Security, Medicare, interstates, free movement about this vast land, national parks, or a big military. No welfare, nothing to keep you from starving except the goodwill of your neighbors, and no rule of law. You'll have to create that yourselves. You can adopt some form of the U.S. Constitution if you want, or you can use a state's constitution, or you can just play it by ear, for all I care. You can have a president, a dictator, a queen, a king, an emperor, empress, dictator, whatever. Go for it.
Unfortunately, because the U.S. is running at a deficit, there will be nothing to return to each citizen. Instead, you will each (every man, woman and child) owe at least $70,000 and change to pay current outstanding bills. However, that will be payable to your new little nation-state, not the federal government, because this unpaid balance will be handed off to each new little country on a per capita basis. Sorry about that. That means all of these little nations will probably be in the hole to begin with, so no other country is going to help you out or loan you money or anything. But I'm sure you can handle it. After all, this seems to be what everybody wants now, no federal government, no oversight. Just the ability to do what you want.
I looked at a map and here is how I anticipate distribution of land mass:
Starting from the west:
the state of Hawaii will be Hawaii.
the state of Alaska will be Alaska (unless Canada wants it).
the states of California, Nevada, Oregon, and Washington will become Calivadagon.
the states of Idaho, Montana, and Wyoming will be Monomaha.
the states of North Dakota, South Dakota, and Nebraska will be Dakato.
the states of Minnesota, Wisconsin, and Iowa will be Winnesowa.
the states of Utah and Arizona will be Arizona.
the states of Colorado, New Mexico, Kansas, and Oklahoma will be New Radohoma.
the state of Texas will just be Texas.
the states of Missouri, Arkansas, Louisiana, and Mississippi will become Missarkiania.
the states of Tennessee, Alabama, Georgia, South Carolina, North Carolina, and the southern part of Virginia will be Carolina.
the state of Florida will remain Florida.
the states of Kentucky, West Virginia, Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, and Michigan will be Illindiano.
the northern part of Virginia, Pennsylvania, Delaware, Washington DC, Maryland, and New Jersey will be Pennaryland.
The northeastern states from New York up, which include Maine, Massachusetts, Vermont, Rhode Island, and Connecticut, will be New Massachusetts.
Of course, the name choices can change, and some states may decide they need to be divided, like I divided Virginia. I live in Virginia and I know it's politically divided, but I would have to leave that to the governors to determine if say, part of New Mexico should really go with Texas.
After all, while I may be a fairly stable genius, I'm also intelligent enough to know I don't know everything.
Now all of this is going to create a lot of instability for a while, so the United States Military will remain viable until things settle down. We'll offer some protection from conquests for a bit. We will take military bulldozers to all the connecting roads and interstates so that people can't move from one new area to the other. I will plant a soldier every 20 feet along every boundary until each little nation state can get its wall built. We can't have any cross-over because that will mess up the math. Don't want no Pennarylanders trying to become New Radohomas now, do we? Orders will be to shoot on site until the walls are built, so don't try to move, okay?
However, once every little nation is up and running, which I think will take about three years, the U.S. Military will completely disband and each little nation will be on its own. If Florida wants to go to war with Carolina because they need the food Carolina produces, have at it. And of course Florida folks don't care if China moves in and takes over Alaska.
This will give everyone everything they seem to want. No reliance on any federal government, just reliance on themselves.
Good luck to you all.
You can send money for my election when I set up a gofundme account.
*Again, a work of fiction. I can't believe I feel like I have to write that twice.*
I am going to run for President of the United States.
I don't have a platform, but I don't need one. I promise you this: under my administration you will not pay federal taxes to the United States of America. None.
That's because I promise that within my first year, there will no longer be a United States of America.
Within one hour of my swearing in, I will call a special session of every state governor and its two senators (forget Congress, bunch of yahoos). Together we will divide up the country, and end this fiasco.
We will negate the U.S. Constitution forever. Each new little country can do what it damn well pleases.
This means you will no longer have Social Security, Medicare, interstates, free movement about this vast land, national parks, or a big military. No welfare, nothing to keep you from starving except the goodwill of your neighbors, and no rule of law. You'll have to create that yourselves. You can adopt some form of the U.S. Constitution if you want, or you can use a state's constitution, or you can just play it by ear, for all I care. You can have a president, a dictator, a queen, a king, an emperor, empress, dictator, whatever. Go for it.
Unfortunately, because the U.S. is running at a deficit, there will be nothing to return to each citizen. Instead, you will each (every man, woman and child) owe at least $70,000 and change to pay current outstanding bills. However, that will be payable to your new little nation-state, not the federal government, because this unpaid balance will be handed off to each new little country on a per capita basis. Sorry about that. That means all of these little nations will probably be in the hole to begin with, so no other country is going to help you out or loan you money or anything. But I'm sure you can handle it. After all, this seems to be what everybody wants now, no federal government, no oversight. Just the ability to do what you want.
I looked at a map and here is how I anticipate distribution of land mass:
Starting from the west:
the state of Hawaii will be Hawaii.
the state of Alaska will be Alaska (unless Canada wants it).
the states of California, Nevada, Oregon, and Washington will become Calivadagon.
the states of Idaho, Montana, and Wyoming will be Monomaha.
the states of North Dakota, South Dakota, and Nebraska will be Dakato.
the states of Minnesota, Wisconsin, and Iowa will be Winnesowa.
the states of Utah and Arizona will be Arizona.
the states of Colorado, New Mexico, Kansas, and Oklahoma will be New Radohoma.
the state of Texas will just be Texas.
the states of Missouri, Arkansas, Louisiana, and Mississippi will become Missarkiania.
the states of Tennessee, Alabama, Georgia, South Carolina, North Carolina, and the southern part of Virginia will be Carolina.
the state of Florida will remain Florida.
the states of Kentucky, West Virginia, Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, and Michigan will be Illindiano.
the northern part of Virginia, Pennsylvania, Delaware, Washington DC, Maryland, and New Jersey will be Pennaryland.
The northeastern states from New York up, which include Maine, Massachusetts, Vermont, Rhode Island, and Connecticut, will be New Massachusetts.
Of course, the name choices can change, and some states may decide they need to be divided, like I divided Virginia. I live in Virginia and I know it's politically divided, but I would have to leave that to the governors to determine if say, part of New Mexico should really go with Texas.
After all, while I may be a fairly stable genius, I'm also intelligent enough to know I don't know everything.
Now all of this is going to create a lot of instability for a while, so the United States Military will remain viable until things settle down. We'll offer some protection from conquests for a bit. We will take military bulldozers to all the connecting roads and interstates so that people can't move from one new area to the other. I will plant a soldier every 20 feet along every boundary until each little nation state can get its wall built. We can't have any cross-over because that will mess up the math. Don't want no Pennarylanders trying to become New Radohomas now, do we? Orders will be to shoot on site until the walls are built, so don't try to move, okay?
However, once every little nation is up and running, which I think will take about three years, the U.S. Military will completely disband and each little nation will be on its own. If Florida wants to go to war with Carolina because they need the food Carolina produces, have at it. And of course Florida folks don't care if China moves in and takes over Alaska.
This will give everyone everything they seem to want. No reliance on any federal government, just reliance on themselves.
Good luck to you all.
You can send money for my election when I set up a gofundme account.
*Again, a work of fiction. I can't believe I feel like I have to write that twice.*
Tuesday, January 09, 2018
Don't Drink the Kool-Aid
Yesterday and today both should have been filled with solemn discussions about the content of Oprah Winfrey's great speech at the Golden Globe Awards Sunday.
Conversation should have centered around why so many women wore black, in a show of solidarity.
The topics on FB should have been discussions of ways to improve the lot of women in all facets of life, from being the drudge at home, where many husbands think they are guests and that their underwear magically finds its way into the washer and dryer and back into their dressers, to how to protect themselves from harassment and unwanted advancements in the workplace.
We should have been discussing boundaries, and what it means for each person to have a sacred space that we all respect and do not intrude upon without permission.
And what are we discussing?
Whether or not Oprah Winfrey should run for president.
:::face palm:::
I don't know where that came from. I imagine it went like this:
Powerful man #1: OMG! Oprah just said I can't touch my secretary's boobs! What do we do?
Powerful man #2: Deflect! Deflect!
OPRAH IS GOING TO RUN FOR PRESIDENT
Sheeple: Oprah is going to run for president!
Are we really so downtrodden in the political sphere that one great speech is enough to bring out vast choruses of "run for the highest office in the land," or was this, as I believe, a media reaction to the content of Winfrey's speech, a reaction swallowed by all who regularly drink the Kool-Aid no matter its content, in order to create the atmosphere we have now, which is one not focused on the issues but instead a discussion of whether or not Winfrey should run for office.
Just another day at the circus that has become this country.
For the record, I heard nothing in Winfrey's speech that said she wanted to run for president. Nothing Winfrey has said or done makes me think she wants to be in politics.
So now instead of talking about something really important, everyone is talking about a supposition that is unlikely.
We have at our disposal social media outlets that could create intelligent, comprehensive dialogue that would create change and influence millions, if we would only use it that way. But what do we do? We put up cat videos and then make giant buttons that react to whatever the media wants us to react to, because again, we drank the Kool-Aid.
Why must people drink the damn Kool-Aid? Can they not think for themselves? Can they not see how they are being led around by the nose by the media, how the oligarchs who are in charge are simply playing with their strings and making them dance like little marionettes?
Have they all lost their minds?
If Oprah announces a run for president, then we can discuss it. Until then, we should ignore all the BS and get back to her speech and the topic she addressed. We should address this issue and other issues without all of this orchestration that surrounds every little thing. I feel like I am a tiny wee mouse in a corner with horns blasting at me from all directions, and behind every loud horn is a great big fool full of Kool-Aid. They are so loud I can't hear myself think. Not only that, they're all spitting on me and I don't like it. I can only take so much stupidity.
Jesus Christ, people. What is wrong with you?
Conversation should have centered around why so many women wore black, in a show of solidarity.
The topics on FB should have been discussions of ways to improve the lot of women in all facets of life, from being the drudge at home, where many husbands think they are guests and that their underwear magically finds its way into the washer and dryer and back into their dressers, to how to protect themselves from harassment and unwanted advancements in the workplace.
We should have been discussing boundaries, and what it means for each person to have a sacred space that we all respect and do not intrude upon without permission.
And what are we discussing?
Whether or not Oprah Winfrey should run for president.
:::face palm:::
I don't know where that came from. I imagine it went like this:
Powerful man #1: OMG! Oprah just said I can't touch my secretary's boobs! What do we do?
Powerful man #2: Deflect! Deflect!
OPRAH IS GOING TO RUN FOR PRESIDENT
Sheeple: Oprah is going to run for president!
Are we really so downtrodden in the political sphere that one great speech is enough to bring out vast choruses of "run for the highest office in the land," or was this, as I believe, a media reaction to the content of Winfrey's speech, a reaction swallowed by all who regularly drink the Kool-Aid no matter its content, in order to create the atmosphere we have now, which is one not focused on the issues but instead a discussion of whether or not Winfrey should run for office.
Just another day at the circus that has become this country.
For the record, I heard nothing in Winfrey's speech that said she wanted to run for president. Nothing Winfrey has said or done makes me think she wants to be in politics.
So now instead of talking about something really important, everyone is talking about a supposition that is unlikely.
We have at our disposal social media outlets that could create intelligent, comprehensive dialogue that would create change and influence millions, if we would only use it that way. But what do we do? We put up cat videos and then make giant buttons that react to whatever the media wants us to react to, because again, we drank the Kool-Aid.
Why must people drink the damn Kool-Aid? Can they not think for themselves? Can they not see how they are being led around by the nose by the media, how the oligarchs who are in charge are simply playing with their strings and making them dance like little marionettes?
Have they all lost their minds?
If Oprah announces a run for president, then we can discuss it. Until then, we should ignore all the BS and get back to her speech and the topic she addressed. We should address this issue and other issues without all of this orchestration that surrounds every little thing. I feel like I am a tiny wee mouse in a corner with horns blasting at me from all directions, and behind every loud horn is a great big fool full of Kool-Aid. They are so loud I can't hear myself think. Not only that, they're all spitting on me and I don't like it. I can only take so much stupidity.
Jesus Christ, people. What is wrong with you?
Monday, January 08, 2018
When That New Day Dawns
So last night at the Golden Globe Awards, this happened:
It perplexes me not because it is a movement, or unnecessary, but because what is required is a massive cultural upheaval if women are to finally be seen as human beings and not as chattel for men, particularly white men. Women have been viewed in that manner since before Christ came along, so this is not something that will change simply because a few women find their voice.
We all have to find our voices, and that takes a lot of strength, resistance, and resilience that not every person has.
Such a massive cultural upheaval is not going to come about while one third of the country stands firm in its reverence for somebody who's been divorced several times, has demeaned women publicly, and is a known playboy with tapes of sexual innuendoes floating around the internet. It's not going to take place while men hold the majority of leadership roles. Nor is it going to come about simply because women who also hold power, such as Winfrey, decide it is time for a change.
I read somewhere that feminists are bracing for a backlash against this #metoo movement. I've been waiting for that as well. I've also read that some feminists are tired of it, because it so compellingly shows how easily women are victims and victimized. It also implies that women are unable to stand up for themselves, something a strong woman, or a woman who has not been beaten over the head by the indoctrination of the patriarchy from a young age, may be unable to understand (although I sincerely do not believe there is a single woman on this planet who has not, at some point, been a victim of the patriarchy, or, to put it simply, belittled by a man).
The problem begins, I'm afraid, at home, and it will be generations before this type of change takes hold. That isn't to say we shouldn't work hard at making it happen, because of course we should, but we're not exactly a society here in the U.S. that holds free parental courses for young fathers and mothers so that they know how to raise a son who doesn't go out and rape women. We don't even meet people's basic needs here, much less do something that innovative.
Another issue is language. We almost always use the passive voice when describing victims. "She was raped by the guy in the white van." "He was abused by the coach." That puts the onus on the victim, making it the victims' fault that such things happen to them. We must change our language. "He raped her." "He abused the boy." "She abused the young teenager." (Because yes, women are abusers, too.) We need to watch what comes out of our mouths and what we put on paper.
Lastly, changing this requires awareness when power struggles are happening. The control issue between white men and women is a particular concern for me because it happens so easily and so seemingly innocently. For example, around Christmas, I was watching a type of bloopers real from a local TV station. The reporters had chosen folks to give money to, and they took them shopping. Sounds nice enough, right?
The ick factor took over as I watched nearly every white man who was a money recipient turn toward a female reporter in these clips and ask for a hug. As a long-time journalist, I have run across this myself many times. There is always some white man - and it is always a white man - who thinks that because he has graced you with his time or whatever it is that he thinks, you owe him a hug.
The reporters in the stories obeyed the request and gave the hug. Now, given the season and the reason, maybe a hug was appropriate, but if the guy wouldn't ask a male reporter for a hug at the end of the story, then it wasn't appropriate. That is a good marker for heterosexual men to follow. If you wouldn't ask a guy at the end of an interview for a hug, then you don't ask the female reporter for one, either.
But they do ask, and we oblige, because we were brought up to oblige. Nobody has ever taught me a nice but polite way to say "no" to some man who wants to hold me for two Mississippis longer than he should during a hug. Nobody has told me what I am supposed to do if I oblige with the hug request and then feel the guy's penis go "boing" and poke me in the gut. Generally I get away as fast as I can, and I frequently say, "I'm sorry, but I'm catching a cold and don't want to give it to you," if some idiot asks for a hug and I'm not feeling very obliging. But sometimes they catch you off guard. I mean, I've had men I know walk up behind me and whirl me around for a hug. Would they have done that to a male reporter? No. Is that assault? I honestly don't know. I know it makes me uncomfortable and it's not welcome. Did it hurt me? Not physically. But mentally, every unwanted hug adds to my sense of loss of self, and it adds to the hug-giver's sense of entitlement.
I have a lovely niece who just turned 16. The very idea that she will have to endure these hugs, squeezes, and smooshes from various dirty old men, as I have done, makes my skin crawl. However, I feel sure she has already experienced this and it hasn't even occurred to her that it is wrong. Nor has it occurred to her father (though it might now, as I know he reads my blog) to teach her that if a man touches her, she has every right to elbow him in the face and break his nose. She needs to be taught a polite way to tell a man "no" if he wants a hug.
Not every hug is bad, of course. People need to use commonsense. Friends hug. Couples hug. Dates hug, but I didn't date every guy who wanted a hug and neither will my niece. And my niece has the right to say no, and she should, and she should know she has that right. She also needs to know that her parents, and her aunt (me), and society as a whole will back her up. That last one is what is missing, because society, as a whole, will not. The guy will stand there with a bloody nose, saying, "What did I do?" and everyone will ask my niece what she thought she was doing, breaking this guy's nose, and she will be portrayed as bad when all she was doing was defending her boundaries.
We have a right to our boundaries, all of us.
This is a very complex topic, and it is not going to be fixed anytime soon. Whatever backlash comes about is not going to be pretty, and it will be the lower class women who pay for it, not the ones with power and prestige like Winfrey. I appreciate their efforts, as well as her acknowledgement that the problem is cultural and all around us. But I would also like to see productive efforts, like more women in politics and in leadership positions, parenting classes, and efforts to change the language as I mentioned above. I will do my best from now on to say, "No," to unwanted advances, and I will try to watch my language and turn things around so that the abuser is the subject of the sentence, not the victim. I hope everyone decides to make an effort - and that includes men who don't want to see their daughters manhandled or their wives felt up on the job - so that women can finally be seen as equals, and human.
LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Oprah Winfrey became the first black woman to be awarded a Golden Globe for lifetime achievement on Sunday, delivering an impassioned speech in support of those who have exposed sexual misconduct in Hollywood and beyond.
Actress, movie and television producer, and chief executive of her OWN cable channel, Winfrey, 63, was celebrated as a role model for women and a person who has promoted strong female characters.
Her honor came in a year when the awards show, Hollywood’s first leading up to the Oscars, was dominated by a scandal that has seen the downfall of dozens of powerful men as women break years of silence.
Winfrey, who along with most of the show’s other attendees donned a black gown to show support for victims of sexual misconduct, was the first black woman to receive the annual Cecil B. De Mille award, joining the likes of Meryl Streep, Steven Spielberg, Barbra Streisand and Sophia Loren.
Winfrey used her speech to praise women who have shared their stories of sexual harassment and abuse, and to declare that “a new day is on the horizon” for girls and women.
“And when that new day finally dawns it will be because of a lot of magnificent women, many of whom are in this room tonight, and some pretty phenomenal men, fighting hard to make sure they become leaders that take us to the time where nobody has to say ‘me too’ again,” Winfrey said, referencing the social media movement raising awareness about sexual harassment. (Click here for article.)Winfrey was referencing the #metoo movement and the spat of sexual harassment allegations against a variety of high-powered men in the entertainment industry and in the political arena. It's a movement I've followed with interest, though it also perplexes me.
It perplexes me not because it is a movement, or unnecessary, but because what is required is a massive cultural upheaval if women are to finally be seen as human beings and not as chattel for men, particularly white men. Women have been viewed in that manner since before Christ came along, so this is not something that will change simply because a few women find their voice.
We all have to find our voices, and that takes a lot of strength, resistance, and resilience that not every person has.
Such a massive cultural upheaval is not going to come about while one third of the country stands firm in its reverence for somebody who's been divorced several times, has demeaned women publicly, and is a known playboy with tapes of sexual innuendoes floating around the internet. It's not going to take place while men hold the majority of leadership roles. Nor is it going to come about simply because women who also hold power, such as Winfrey, decide it is time for a change.
I read somewhere that feminists are bracing for a backlash against this #metoo movement. I've been waiting for that as well. I've also read that some feminists are tired of it, because it so compellingly shows how easily women are victims and victimized. It also implies that women are unable to stand up for themselves, something a strong woman, or a woman who has not been beaten over the head by the indoctrination of the patriarchy from a young age, may be unable to understand (although I sincerely do not believe there is a single woman on this planet who has not, at some point, been a victim of the patriarchy, or, to put it simply, belittled by a man).
The problem begins, I'm afraid, at home, and it will be generations before this type of change takes hold. That isn't to say we shouldn't work hard at making it happen, because of course we should, but we're not exactly a society here in the U.S. that holds free parental courses for young fathers and mothers so that they know how to raise a son who doesn't go out and rape women. We don't even meet people's basic needs here, much less do something that innovative.
Another issue is language. We almost always use the passive voice when describing victims. "She was raped by the guy in the white van." "He was abused by the coach." That puts the onus on the victim, making it the victims' fault that such things happen to them. We must change our language. "He raped her." "He abused the boy." "She abused the young teenager." (Because yes, women are abusers, too.) We need to watch what comes out of our mouths and what we put on paper.
Lastly, changing this requires awareness when power struggles are happening. The control issue between white men and women is a particular concern for me because it happens so easily and so seemingly innocently. For example, around Christmas, I was watching a type of bloopers real from a local TV station. The reporters had chosen folks to give money to, and they took them shopping. Sounds nice enough, right?
The ick factor took over as I watched nearly every white man who was a money recipient turn toward a female reporter in these clips and ask for a hug. As a long-time journalist, I have run across this myself many times. There is always some white man - and it is always a white man - who thinks that because he has graced you with his time or whatever it is that he thinks, you owe him a hug.
The reporters in the stories obeyed the request and gave the hug. Now, given the season and the reason, maybe a hug was appropriate, but if the guy wouldn't ask a male reporter for a hug at the end of the story, then it wasn't appropriate. That is a good marker for heterosexual men to follow. If you wouldn't ask a guy at the end of an interview for a hug, then you don't ask the female reporter for one, either.
But they do ask, and we oblige, because we were brought up to oblige. Nobody has ever taught me a nice but polite way to say "no" to some man who wants to hold me for two Mississippis longer than he should during a hug. Nobody has told me what I am supposed to do if I oblige with the hug request and then feel the guy's penis go "boing" and poke me in the gut. Generally I get away as fast as I can, and I frequently say, "I'm sorry, but I'm catching a cold and don't want to give it to you," if some idiot asks for a hug and I'm not feeling very obliging. But sometimes they catch you off guard. I mean, I've had men I know walk up behind me and whirl me around for a hug. Would they have done that to a male reporter? No. Is that assault? I honestly don't know. I know it makes me uncomfortable and it's not welcome. Did it hurt me? Not physically. But mentally, every unwanted hug adds to my sense of loss of self, and it adds to the hug-giver's sense of entitlement.
I have a lovely niece who just turned 16. The very idea that she will have to endure these hugs, squeezes, and smooshes from various dirty old men, as I have done, makes my skin crawl. However, I feel sure she has already experienced this and it hasn't even occurred to her that it is wrong. Nor has it occurred to her father (though it might now, as I know he reads my blog) to teach her that if a man touches her, she has every right to elbow him in the face and break his nose. She needs to be taught a polite way to tell a man "no" if he wants a hug.
Not every hug is bad, of course. People need to use commonsense. Friends hug. Couples hug. Dates hug, but I didn't date every guy who wanted a hug and neither will my niece. And my niece has the right to say no, and she should, and she should know she has that right. She also needs to know that her parents, and her aunt (me), and society as a whole will back her up. That last one is what is missing, because society, as a whole, will not. The guy will stand there with a bloody nose, saying, "What did I do?" and everyone will ask my niece what she thought she was doing, breaking this guy's nose, and she will be portrayed as bad when all she was doing was defending her boundaries.
We have a right to our boundaries, all of us.
This is a very complex topic, and it is not going to be fixed anytime soon. Whatever backlash comes about is not going to be pretty, and it will be the lower class women who pay for it, not the ones with power and prestige like Winfrey. I appreciate their efforts, as well as her acknowledgement that the problem is cultural and all around us. But I would also like to see productive efforts, like more women in politics and in leadership positions, parenting classes, and efforts to change the language as I mentioned above. I will do my best from now on to say, "No," to unwanted advances, and I will try to watch my language and turn things around so that the abuser is the subject of the sentence, not the victim. I hope everyone decides to make an effort - and that includes men who don't want to see their daughters manhandled or their wives felt up on the job - so that women can finally be seen as equals, and human.
Sunday, January 07, 2018
Sunday Stealing: End of Year Questions
Sunday Stealing
End of Year Questions
1. What did you do last year that you had not done before?
A. We went to Virginia Beach and had a good time. Now, we have been to Virginia Beach once before, but we did not have a good time. So that was different.
2. Did you keep your New Year's Resolutions/goals for the year and will you make/set more for next year? What are they? What are your new ones?
A. I didn't set any resolutions last year. The only "goal" I have set for this year is to be showered and dressed by 9 a.m. I managed it until January 6, when I was up most of Friday night with a horrible cough, so I slept in a bit Saturday. I was dressed before 10 a.m., though, and given how sick I am I consider it a win.
3. Did anyone you know give birth? Or become pregnant? Or adopt?
A. No one comes to mind. I'm sure someone did.
4. Did anyone you know die? Or have a serious illness/injury?
A. Lots of people are dying that I know these days. Not anyone close to me, really, but we are of the age when folks start keeling over. Some of my high school classmates are starting to die. That's scary. I have a close friend who has a serious illness. I worry about her.
5. What places have you visited?
A. Last year we went to Virginia Beach. If you want the whole list, I've been across the U.S. via car to California and back, thus going through a lot of states, I've been north as far as New York City, and south to Florida. I've visited Spain and France.
6. Any new pets? Lost a pet?
A. We lost a cow last year, and have already lost one this year. We think she had a brain aneurysm. No new pets, unless you count the new baby calves, but they're not really pets.
7. What would you like to have next year that you lacked this year (doesn't have to be a physical thing i.e. love, job security, peace of mind...)?
A. I would like good health and some kind of creative busy work.
8. What date from last year will remain etched in your memory and why?
A. My father was baptized in the early part of the year. If you knew my father, or the father he was when I was growing up, anyway, you'd know why that was remarkable.
9. What was your biggest achievement last year?
A. Hitting 10,000 steps on Fitbit. That sounds really trite but consider that in 2013 I could only manage 2 minutes on a treadmill. In March, when I first got the Fitbit, I was doing about 2,500 steps. Now I manage 5,000 steps daily, frequently more than that, and am getting in at least four days of 20 minutes of "moderate activity" as rated by Fitbit. So improved mobility. Plus I have made it a goal to hit 5,000 steps every day and so far am mostly making it.
10. Did you get sick or injured?
A. I am always sick or injured.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
A. I finally got a smartphone! Yay!
12. Where did most of your disposable income go (money leftover after you pay for food, medical care, basic clothing, transportation and shelter)?
A. Into savings.
13. What song will always remind you of last year? Doesn't have to be a song released last year.
A. "I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar."
14. What do you wish you would have done more of?
A. More writing and reading.
15. What do you wish you would have done less of?
A. Playing video games. I think I'm addicted.
16. What was your favorite new TV program? Movie? Album/Songs? Or if you didn't pick up any new ones, what are you still watching/listening to? Any recommendations?
A. My favorite new movie was Wonder Woman. I stayed tuned in to Game of Thrones.
17. What was the best book you read this year? How many did you read?
A. I read 20 books last year (the least I can remember ever reading) and I think the best one was probably Guilt by Association, by Marcia Clark.
18. What did you do on your birthday and how old were you? Did you feel differently?
A. I turned 54 and I don't think we did anything special.
19. What political or social issue stirred you the most?
A. All of them. Locally, I worked behind the scenes to help a candidate win an election.
20. Who was the most interesting new person you met?
A. Nobody comes to mind.
21. Describe how a relationship changed.
A. Sometimes that is no one's business.
22. Do you think you are still the same person that you were at the beginning of the year? How so?
A. No. I'm a bit healthier. Not much, but some.
23. Summarize the year in three words or less. Bonus points for doing it in one word. Explain.
A. Trumped.
24. How have people around you changed?
A. People seem to be a lot meaner and more quick to anger.
25. What have you learned throughout the year? (Other than crafts)
A. That the people you think are trustworthy frequently are not.
26. Did you learn any new crafts or techniques? What was your favorite thing you made?
A. I learned to crochet. I knitted a couple of scarves and finished those. I haven't finished the crochet piece.
27. What changed about your physical appearance? (Hair? Wrinkles? New makeup style? Etc)
A. I just aged. My hair is whiter. I gained weight, too, inexplicably. Well, I mean, obviously I ate more but it didn't seem like it.
28. What are your hopes and dreams for the new year? (Some suggestions-family, travel, work, lifestyle, hobbies, pets, appearance)
A. I would like to lose weight (it would help if I try), exercise more, write more, and take a nice vacation to someplace different. We'll see how it goes.
__________
I encourage you to visit other participants in Sunday Stealing posts and leave a comment. Cheers to all us thieves who love memes, however we come by them.
End of Year Questions
1. What did you do last year that you had not done before?
A. We went to Virginia Beach and had a good time. Now, we have been to Virginia Beach once before, but we did not have a good time. So that was different.
2. Did you keep your New Year's Resolutions/goals for the year and will you make/set more for next year? What are they? What are your new ones?
A. I didn't set any resolutions last year. The only "goal" I have set for this year is to be showered and dressed by 9 a.m. I managed it until January 6, when I was up most of Friday night with a horrible cough, so I slept in a bit Saturday. I was dressed before 10 a.m., though, and given how sick I am I consider it a win.
3. Did anyone you know give birth? Or become pregnant? Or adopt?
A. No one comes to mind. I'm sure someone did.
4. Did anyone you know die? Or have a serious illness/injury?
A. Lots of people are dying that I know these days. Not anyone close to me, really, but we are of the age when folks start keeling over. Some of my high school classmates are starting to die. That's scary. I have a close friend who has a serious illness. I worry about her.
5. What places have you visited?
A. Last year we went to Virginia Beach. If you want the whole list, I've been across the U.S. via car to California and back, thus going through a lot of states, I've been north as far as New York City, and south to Florida. I've visited Spain and France.
6. Any new pets? Lost a pet?
A. We lost a cow last year, and have already lost one this year. We think she had a brain aneurysm. No new pets, unless you count the new baby calves, but they're not really pets.
7. What would you like to have next year that you lacked this year (doesn't have to be a physical thing i.e. love, job security, peace of mind...)?
A. I would like good health and some kind of creative busy work.
8. What date from last year will remain etched in your memory and why?
A. My father was baptized in the early part of the year. If you knew my father, or the father he was when I was growing up, anyway, you'd know why that was remarkable.
9. What was your biggest achievement last year?
A. Hitting 10,000 steps on Fitbit. That sounds really trite but consider that in 2013 I could only manage 2 minutes on a treadmill. In March, when I first got the Fitbit, I was doing about 2,500 steps. Now I manage 5,000 steps daily, frequently more than that, and am getting in at least four days of 20 minutes of "moderate activity" as rated by Fitbit. So improved mobility. Plus I have made it a goal to hit 5,000 steps every day and so far am mostly making it.
10. Did you get sick or injured?
A. I am always sick or injured.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
A. I finally got a smartphone! Yay!
12. Where did most of your disposable income go (money leftover after you pay for food, medical care, basic clothing, transportation and shelter)?
A. Into savings.
13. What song will always remind you of last year? Doesn't have to be a song released last year.
A. "I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar."
14. What do you wish you would have done more of?
A. More writing and reading.
15. What do you wish you would have done less of?
A. Playing video games. I think I'm addicted.
16. What was your favorite new TV program? Movie? Album/Songs? Or if you didn't pick up any new ones, what are you still watching/listening to? Any recommendations?
A. My favorite new movie was Wonder Woman. I stayed tuned in to Game of Thrones.
17. What was the best book you read this year? How many did you read?
A. I read 20 books last year (the least I can remember ever reading) and I think the best one was probably Guilt by Association, by Marcia Clark.
18. What did you do on your birthday and how old were you? Did you feel differently?
A. I turned 54 and I don't think we did anything special.
19. What political or social issue stirred you the most?
A. All of them. Locally, I worked behind the scenes to help a candidate win an election.
20. Who was the most interesting new person you met?
A. Nobody comes to mind.
21. Describe how a relationship changed.
A. Sometimes that is no one's business.
22. Do you think you are still the same person that you were at the beginning of the year? How so?
A. No. I'm a bit healthier. Not much, but some.
23. Summarize the year in three words or less. Bonus points for doing it in one word. Explain.
A. Trumped.
24. How have people around you changed?
A. People seem to be a lot meaner and more quick to anger.
25. What have you learned throughout the year? (Other than crafts)
A. That the people you think are trustworthy frequently are not.
26. Did you learn any new crafts or techniques? What was your favorite thing you made?
A. I learned to crochet. I knitted a couple of scarves and finished those. I haven't finished the crochet piece.
27. What changed about your physical appearance? (Hair? Wrinkles? New makeup style? Etc)
A. I just aged. My hair is whiter. I gained weight, too, inexplicably. Well, I mean, obviously I ate more but it didn't seem like it.
28. What are your hopes and dreams for the new year? (Some suggestions-family, travel, work, lifestyle, hobbies, pets, appearance)
A. I would like to lose weight (it would help if I try), exercise more, write more, and take a nice vacation to someplace different. We'll see how it goes.
__________
I encourage you to visit other participants in Sunday Stealing posts and leave a comment. Cheers to all us thieves who love memes, however we come by them.
Saturday, January 06, 2018
Saturday 9: I've Got My Love to Keep Me Warm
Saturday 9: I've Got My Love to Keep Me Warm (2006)
Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.
1) Bette Midler sings about the storm that's raging outside. How's the weather where you are today?
A. C ... c ... Cold. It was 9 degrees when I woke this morning. And we're in a drought, too. And the wind is blowing so it is really colder. We've had a lot of trouble with the cattle watering troughs in the last few days. They aren't supposed to freeze but they are.
2) She mentions her gloves. Tell us about your favorite pair of gloves or mittens.
A. I don't have a favorite pair. I buy the little $1 a pair knit gloves and have them all over the place. I lose things like that.
3) Does your home have a fireplace to keep you warm?
A. We have a fireplace but we don't use it because the smoke and ash adds to my asthma issues. We use it only if the power goes out for an extended period.
4) Bette's father, Fred, supported his family as a house painter. Have you ever held a job that kept you outdoors a great deal of the time?
A. I worked on my father's farm when I was young (though I got out of it when I could) and we own a farm, but I leave most of the outdoor work to my husband. I keep up with the paperwork.
5) Her mother, Ruth, was a talented seamstress. How about you? Can you sew on a button? Raise a hem? Darn a hole?
A. I am by no means talented, but I can hem pants, fix buttons, etc. Nothing fancy, or even good. Just done.
6) 2017 was a big year for Bette. At the age of 72, she opened on Broadway in the revival of Hello, Dolly! and won a Tony. As we kick off 2018, what would you like to accomplish this year?
A. I would like to do more writing.
7) Bette and her husband Martin have been married for nearly 34 years. Their wedding was officiated by an Elvis impersonator. Are you looking forward to any weddings in 2018?
A. Not that I am aware of.
8) Bette and Martin are very proud of their daughter, Sophie, now 30, who graduated from Yale in 2008. Do you expect to attend any graduation ceremonies in 2018?
A. No.
9) Random question: Yesterday, who did you spend the most time with?
A. My husband and I both have some nasty crud and have been cooped up together for days now.
_____________
I encourage you to visit other participants in Saturday 9 posts and leave a comment. Because there are no rules, it is your choice. Saturday 9 players hate rules. We love memes, however.
Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.
1) Bette Midler sings about the storm that's raging outside. How's the weather where you are today?
A. C ... c ... Cold. It was 9 degrees when I woke this morning. And we're in a drought, too. And the wind is blowing so it is really colder. We've had a lot of trouble with the cattle watering troughs in the last few days. They aren't supposed to freeze but they are.
2) She mentions her gloves. Tell us about your favorite pair of gloves or mittens.
A. I don't have a favorite pair. I buy the little $1 a pair knit gloves and have them all over the place. I lose things like that.
3) Does your home have a fireplace to keep you warm?
A. We have a fireplace but we don't use it because the smoke and ash adds to my asthma issues. We use it only if the power goes out for an extended period.
4) Bette's father, Fred, supported his family as a house painter. Have you ever held a job that kept you outdoors a great deal of the time?
A. I worked on my father's farm when I was young (though I got out of it when I could) and we own a farm, but I leave most of the outdoor work to my husband. I keep up with the paperwork.
5) Her mother, Ruth, was a talented seamstress. How about you? Can you sew on a button? Raise a hem? Darn a hole?
A. I am by no means talented, but I can hem pants, fix buttons, etc. Nothing fancy, or even good. Just done.
6) 2017 was a big year for Bette. At the age of 72, she opened on Broadway in the revival of Hello, Dolly! and won a Tony. As we kick off 2018, what would you like to accomplish this year?
A. I would like to do more writing.
7) Bette and her husband Martin have been married for nearly 34 years. Their wedding was officiated by an Elvis impersonator. Are you looking forward to any weddings in 2018?
A. Not that I am aware of.
8) Bette and Martin are very proud of their daughter, Sophie, now 30, who graduated from Yale in 2008. Do you expect to attend any graduation ceremonies in 2018?
A. No.
9) Random question: Yesterday, who did you spend the most time with?
A. My husband and I both have some nasty crud and have been cooped up together for days now.
_____________
I encourage you to visit other participants in Saturday 9 posts and leave a comment. Because there are no rules, it is your choice. Saturday 9 players hate rules. We love memes, however.
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