Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Ode to the Stinkbug

O little critter, from I know not where
why are you smelling up my air?

When the sun shines and temps grow warm
you gather on windows as if in a swarm.

You're creepy, you're crawly, you make me cry
And I can't find a pesticide to make you die.

You're in my kitchen, the bedroom, the den,
The only way to kill you is to make you swim.

If I squash you, your odor means wrinkling of noses
You smell worse than my shoes and my toesies!

I wrap you in tissues and drown you and then,
I find I must do it again and again!

Go away, stinkbug! You smell, you're a fright
I fear I will eat you, a mistake in the night!

No kiddin', these things are atrocious. I am hearing stories from everyone about how they are waking up to find them in bed. They are slapping them and then dealing with their horrid smell on hands and other body parts, and otherwise finding these things difficult to deal with. We haven't found any pesticides that will take care of them or keep them away.

The cold weather didn't even kill them. Anytime the temps rose above 67 degrees, there they were. I kept the house at 66 degrees all winter long just to keep them away. Better to freeze than to deal with these bugs.

Just so you know, this is called a brown marmorated stink bug. It was first found in the US in 1998 in Pennsylvania and now it has spread through the Mid-Atlantic states. The bug is causing widespread problems with crops, including fruits. It is thought to be native to China, Japan, Korea, and Taiwan.

As the weather warms up, I am afraid these things are going to take over my life.


  1. Was sitting at my computer this morning, looked down, and there was one on my keyboard. Horrid little creatures. David can smell them.... I can't, but I just don't like creepy crawly things in my house!

    Great ode!

  2. Saw this title pop up in my RSS feed. Love the ODE! Very well done. I can't stand this little dudes. And don't let your dog eat them. What goes it, must come out. PHEW!!!

  3. I hate these horrid beasts!! I find them EVERYWHERE, in my clothes, in the sink, in my shower. I cannot get rid of them. I fear if we ever do have a pesticide to kill them, it would just kill us too!!

    Cute ode, though. I completely relate to its sentiments.


  4. Someone told my husband to put dishwashing liquid soap and water in a spray bottle and hit them with it. We did and I think all it did was clean the buggers. Grossest mutant creature evah!

  5. The dishwashing soap worked pretty good for me. Not perfect. But it helped. I used Dawn. I put a few glogs in a spray bottle with water and everytime I'd see them on the windows, screens or glass, doesn't matter because you can wash it off, I squirted them. Another thing I do is I keep a couple of plastic cups around, half filled with water and Dawn. If I see one, I take a tissue and swipe it into the cup. You can't keep putting them in the toilet. I heard they'll clog up plumbing. I also heard they can be a fire hazard and I'm not surprised because when Kurt turned on his computer yesterday, it was making a crazy noise. He took apart the fan and it was filled with stink bugs!

    Get this. One time I had one in my mouth! I took a swig of coffee and IMMEDIATELY knew one was in my mouth. I never spit so fast in my life and thank God, I didn't taste it!

    They're also getting them in urban areas. My father lives in an apartment in New Jersey and he also gets them.

  6. I vacuumed one up by mistake and it smelled sort of like cilantro!


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