Sunday, May 10, 2009

Mother's Day

Mother's Day has always been a day of mixed emotion for me.

Since I am childless I will never know the joy of having a little one hand me a wilted dandelion, delight spreading a smile from ear to ear. I do not know the sacrifices mothers make, or the gains they have simply because they are a mom. I can imagine it from a daughter and wife perspective, but I can't really know, and never will.

My mother and I had a stormy relationship and there were many Mother's Days when I longed for a card that REALLY expressed how I felt.

Fortunately I never found one. I always ended up caving in to the sentimentality of it all. It was just as well.

Since my mother passed away, the day has turned into a focus on my mother-in-law, and rightly so. She is a dear, someone who puts up with a lot and asks for little.

This year we had thought to take her to dinner but the rains came and now the sun is shining. On Friday my husband looked at the weather forecast and predicted that he would be spending today from sun up to sundown in the fields cutting hay. "Get her flowers," he said, and since she is his mom, that is what I did. And he is where he thought he would be, on the tractor.

A little later today I will visit my mother-in-law and then I will venture to the cemetery to have a chat with my mother. I wonder what she thinks of me now?

To all my friends who are mothers, I hope that your children honor, love and respect you as good children should. I wish for you much joy in your sacrifice, and many wilted dandelions, brought to you with love.


  1. Dew, what a kind heart you have. I am sorry for the loss you live with and I hope for you a happiness that fills those gaps. I think you are brave for sharing what you feel. I, too, have a strained relationship with my mother and mother in law so I understand those feelings well. It's hard to find the right mother's day card!

  2. Oh wow!! Your relationship with your Mother so mirrors the one I had with mine. She pooh-poohed Mother's Day - never wanted to go out to lunch and didn't want to be fussed over. Nonetheless, I loved her very much and I think about her often. I treasure the peaceful times we had and try not to dwell on the unhappy times.

  3. Think of all the lives you've touched just like a Mom. In a sense, you have more children than any of us! I know I'd be proud if you were my mom.

  4. Y'all are cutting hay already? We just looked at our fields and figured another two weeks.

  5. Hey Dew... stormy relationship with my mom too. Ack! Long story....

    The Blue Ridge Gal

  6. Happy Mother's Day - one day late!

  7. I am sure your mother is thinking what a wonderful and kind person you are and she is beaming with pride.

  8. Thanks for the wish for loving bouquets! I have a feeling that it is a lot easier for your mom to fully appreciate and understand the fullness of you now. Too bad that our eyes often get clouded with so much of our own "stuff" here on earth it makes it hard to see others for who they are. I hope that this year you will get the chance to appreciate the essence of MOTHER that is a part of your unique makeup and design. Something that is going to flow whether or not you ever have children.


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