Saturday 9: Roar

Saturday 9: Roar(recommended by Cat)

If you're not familiar with today's song, you can hear it here.

1) The lyrics begin with Katy singing about when she used to "hold her tongue." Tell us about a time when you didn't speak up, but wish you had.

A. The world is so full of injustice that I'm afraid thousands of us could scream from the rooftops and no one would hear. I've been out of circulation for a while so I can't really recall any specific incidents when I should have spoken out, but didn't. In the past there were many times when I personally wanted to say something but did not because I felt like my role as a journalist required me to remain in a neutral and unbiased position. I don't do that so much anymore. I'm older and I think I have a right to my opinion just like every one else, regardless of what I do for a living.

Oh wait, I am having yet another run-in with my local humongous health care provider (not my family doctor). I should have told off the little minion on the phone Friday morning who couldn't be bothered to answer my question or even take a message, but I refrained.


2) The lyrics mention both lions and tigers. In addition to the big cats, the video shows a monkey and an elephant. If we were going to the zoo today, which animal would you want to see first?

A. The panda bears, if they have them.

3) Lions and tigers are carnivores. If we were having steak for dinner, would you order it rare, medium or well done?

A. Medium-rare.

4) Lots of photos are snapped at the zoo. Did you take your last picture with a camera or with your phone?

A. A camera. I seldom use the camera on my phone. I have a camera on my Kindle Fire and I have yet to figure out how to use it. 

5) The "Roar" video takes place in the jungle. The average temperature all year around in the rainforest is a humid 80º. The typical September day in Juneau is 49º, dry and sunny. Which sounds more comfortable?

A. I live in the south; I am used to humid. But I'd like dry and about 75 degrees with a slight breeze.

6) In her youth, Katy took dance lessons at the local recreation hall in Santa Barbara. Crazy Sam took tap dance lessons as a girl, too. What about you? Were you sent off to dance class? Music lessons? Art class?

A. I took piano lessons  privately and flute lessons in band class. I also took guitar lessons privately after I was old enough to drive.

7) Katy recently passed Justin Bieber as the most followed person on Twitter. What's the last message you re-tweeted?

A. I don't tweet. However, on Facebook I passed along some advertising for the local farmer's market.

8) Congratulations! You just won the lottery! Do you want it in a lump sum, or would you prefer payments over the next 25 years?

A. Depends on the amount. If it's $1 million, all of it now. It's $25 million, then I'd take the payments. I think I could get by on $1 million a year, even after taxes.

9) Did you get 8 hours sleep last night?

A. Apparently not, as I woke up feeling like I'd been eaten by a dragon and then spit out as being inadequate for his breakfast.

 

Because You Can Never Get Enough Deer Photos

Thursday Thirteen

1. The principle that they would instill into government if they succeed in seizing power is well shown by the principles which many of them have instilled into their own affairs: autocracy toward labor, toward stockholders, toward consumers, toward public sentiment. Autocrats in smaller things, they seek autocracy in bigger things. "By their fruits ye shall know them."

2. If these gentlemen believe, as they say they believe, that the measures adopted by this Congress and its predecessor, and carried out by this Administration, have hindered rather than promoted recovery, let them be consistent. Let them propose to this Congress the complete repeal of these measures. The way is open to such a proposal.

3. Let action be positive and not negative. The way is open in the Congress of the United States for an expression of opinion by yeas and nays. Shall we say that values are restored and that the Congress will, therefore, repeal the laws under which we have been bringing them back? Shall we say that because national income has grown with rising prosperity, we shall repeal existing taxes and thereby put off the day of approaching a balanced budget and of starting to reduce the national debt? Shall we abandon the reasonable support and regulation of banking? Shall we restore the dollar to its former gold content?

4. Shall we say to the farmer, "The prices for your products are in part restored. Now go and hoe your own row?"

5. Shall we say to the home owners, "We have reduced your rates of interest. We have no further concern with how you keep your home or what you pay for your money. That is your affair?"

6. Shall we say to the several millions of unemployed citizens who face the very problem of existence, of getting enough to eat, "We will withdraw from giving you work. We will turn you back to the charity of your communities and those men of selfish power who tell you that perhaps they will employ you if the Government leaves them strictly alone?"

7. Shall we say to the needy unemployed, "Your problem is a local one except that perhaps the Federal Government, as an act of mere generosity, will be willing to pay to your city or to your county a few grudging dollars to help maintain your soup kitchens?"

8. Shall we say to the children who have worked all day in the factories, "Child labor is a local issue and so are your starvation wages; something to be solved or left unsolved by the jurisdiction of forty-eight States?" (Ed. note: There are 50 states now.)

9. Shall we say to the laborer, "Your right to organize, your relations with your employer have nothing to do with the public interest; if your employer will not even meet with you to discuss your problems and his, that is none of our affair?"

10. Shall we say to the unemployed and the aged, "Social security lies not within the province of the Federal Government; you must seek relief elsewhere?"

11. Shall we say to the men and women who live in conditions of squalor in country and in city, "The health and the happiness of you and your children are no concern of ours?"

12. Shall we expose our population once more by the repeal of laws which protect them against the loss of their honest investments and against the manipulations of dishonest speculators? Shall we abandon the splendid efforts of the Federal Government to raise the health standards of the Nation and to give youth a decent opportunity through such means as the Civilian Conservation Corps?


13. Members of the Congress, let these challenges be met. If this is what these gentlemen want, let them say so to the Congress of the United States. Let them no longer hide their dissent in a cowardly cloak of generality. Let them define the issue. We have been specific in our affirmative action. Let them be specific in their negative attack.


From Franklin D. Roosevelt: "Annual Message to Congress," January 3, 1936. Online by Gerhard Peters and John T. Woolley, The American Presidency Project. http://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/ws/?pid=15095.

   Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; there is a list here. I've been playing for a while and this is my 359th time to do a list of 13 on a Thursday.

The Mushroom Has Landed

Shedding Velvet

The stags are beginning to shed the velvet covering on their antlers, exposing the hard bone. I was lucky enough to see one with the strips hanging from his antlers in the back yard Saturday. It's not something I have seen often. It is a little messy but hopefully not too gross.

It's a "Lifestyles" Blog

From Sunday Stealing

Blogging Meme 

Q. What kind of blog do you have?

A. I call it a "lifestyles" blog. I started it back in 2006 to have a creative outlet that differed from newspaper writing, and also to serve as a drafting board for the lifestyle columns I was writing for the local paper at the time.

Q. How many posts do you have?

A. I have 2,518 published posts, and 53 unpublished ones.

Q. How many blogs do you follow?

A. It varies depending on time and interests. I try to visit the blogs of those who comment.

Q. How many followers do you have?

A. I have 85 followers on the Google followers link, but I average about 450-500 visits weekly. 

Q. How often do you change your theme?

A. If you mean the header, I change it about 6 times a year. Usually when the seasons change. It's about time for a change to Autumn. 

Q. How often do you change your icon?

A. That picture of me is about two years old now. If somebody ever takes a decent photo of me, I will use a more current one.

Q. Do you have any favorite blogs?

A. Yes. 

Q. Do you ever send anonymous messages to other people?

A. No. I post under CountryDew, but anyone can look over my blog and figure out who I am.

Q. Do you ever get anon hate? 

A. Occasionally.

Q. Have you made any friends through your blog?

A. I have! Several local bloggers are now my friends. And there are some bloggers I am friends with on Facebook and they feel more like friends than, well, my friends. 

Q. What’s your favorite thing about blogging?

A. It makes me think and it has given me the opportunity meet people I otherwise might not have. Blogging has allowed me an outlet that I greatly enjoy.

Q. What’s your least favorite thing about blogging?

A. Those anonymous trolling comments are frustrating sometimes.

 

The Story Was Incomplete

Saturday 9: All Night Long (All Night)

(because Lia asked for an 80s song)

If you're not familiar with today's song, you can hear it here.

1) This music video was produced by Mike Nesmith of The Monkees. Can you name a Monkees song?

A. Hey Hey we're the Monkees . . . although I think they also did The Last Train to Clarksville.

2) The song includes the foreign sounding phrases, "Oh jambali Tom bo li d, say de moi ya," and "Oh, Jambo Jumbo!" Mr. Richie meant to include language indigenous to the Caribbean, but was writing the song under deadline and simply made those phrases up instead. Tell about the most recent time you cheated or "cut corners."

A. While writing an article recently, I was unable to get a source to talk, and I finally gave up and went with what I had. I knew it would mean the story was incomplete but it was the best I could do.

3) Richie was a frat boy at college. Kappa Kappa Psi, to be exact. Were you a member of a fraternity or sorority? 

A. I was not, exactly. I went through my college's "adult" program, though it was the same degree as traditional-aged undergrads. My senior year they instituted an honor group for older students, and I was elected to that. Unfortunately, the name of it escapes me at the moment.


4) When this song topped the charts (September 1983), Vanessa Williams became the first African American to be crowned as Miss America. Do you watch beauty pageants?

A. No. I do, however, have a young niece who has been crowned Little Miss multiple times, and I have gone to some of her events to watch and support her.

5) Since it's Labor Day weekend, that holiday established to
celebrate the American worker, let's talk about the workplace. Tellers work in a bank, actors work on a stage or a set, auto workers work on an assembly line. How would you describe your workplace?

A. A desk and a computer.


6) An estimated 40% of us have dated a coworker. Have you ever had an office romance?

A. No.

7) Labor Day is a big weekend for travel. How did you book your last vacation? (Online, through a travel agent, over the phone . . .)

A. My last vacation was in 2012. I think I did it online but am not sure. When I booked a hotel for my recent visit to a hospital in North Carolina, I did it online.

8) Mother Winters won't wear white again now until next Memorial Day. Sam thinks that's just crazy. Where do you fall in this heated mother/daughter debate?

A. I wear white sneakers year round. I really don't pay attention to fashion and never have. I wear blue jeans, a T-shirt, and sneakers most of the time, and put on a sweater when it gets cold. 

9) When you look at back on Summer 2014, what will you remember?

A. How my husband caught his arm and hand in the hay baler, and how I had to race him to the hospital, and how lucky he was that yesterday he was able to return to his job as a battalion chief at the city fire department (light duty for a while) because of the excellent care he received. He was very fortunate to have a good surgeon on call the day he was injured. Also, we spent nearly two months together because of his accident.  Even though we've been married nearly 31 years, this was the longest stretch of time we've ever had with one another without a break. It was an interesting look at how retirement might go, and I think we need to build another room onto the house so he can have some place to watch TV where I won't have to hear it. We have a very small home and at the least he is going to need a workshop or some place else to go sometimes.

Thursday Thirteen

1. The Bob McDonnell trial is an absolute embarrassment to me as a native Virginia. I don't care what party you claim, the guy has thrown his wife under the bus, maybe deservedly so because she sounds like a difficult person, but still, he is no gentleman. Why is his marriage even on trial? Either he took money and gave favors or he didn't. Why do we need six weeks of Kardashian-like BS to sort this out? What has happened to human decency? Good grief.

2. Young people, especially 9 year olds, should not be handling uzis on firing ranges. They shouldn't be on firing ranges at all. Gun culture nuts are creating their own demise either by killing one another or they will, ultimately, force even their own supporters to ask for better gun laws as their own personal brand of insanity seeps into mainstream life.

3. Businesses in general no longer care about customer service or providing quality items to consumers. All they care about is money. We need regulation and oversight of practically everything, because expecting any industry to police itself is by definition insane. Do you honestly think any business is going to set limits on itself on the basis of morality in this day and age? We don't even know what morality is.

4. Governments that deal in secrecy, whether at the local level (I'm talking to you, BOTETOURT), state, or national, are governments that are failing their citizenry. Fail, fail, fail. I'm so disappointed in our local representatives. About 20 years ago, we had no party politics here in my county and things ran much more smoothly, and common sense was present. Now things are rotten and smelly. At the state level, it's much worse. I used to live in a beautiful land, now it's a cesspool (see also #1).

5.  While the Affordable Care Act has helped some with insurance needs, it fell short (as I anticipated) and hasn't stopped the rampant costs in medicine and health care. That is only going to happen with dramatic change - as long as insurance companies cough up $100 for a $1 pill, things will stay as bad as they are for most people. The whole system reeks of corruption and complicity. The majority of Americans are only one car wreck or major illness away from bankruptcy. Why, as a society, do we allow that to be the case?

6. I do not pretend to know what is going on in the Middle East, anywhere. I am a pacifist by nature so I oppose killing. I do not believe there is ever, ever a good reason for nations to go to war (that includes the U.S.). Dropping bombs for the sake of dropping bombs is just asinine. That said, I am glad there has been a cease-fire agreement between Israel and Hamas. I just hope it isn't over before you can read these words.

7. The unfortunate evolution of the police state in the US has been a natural progression as fascism has come to the fore and the lunatics have taken over the asylum. We are a scared, uneducated, and naïve citizenry, and we think we need arsenals to protect us from our neighbors, most of whom we don't know and don't care to know because our nose is buried in our cellphone. Call me naïve myself, but I think sharing lemonade and cookies would solve more problems than a militarized police force ever could.

8. Long ago, children ran and played unsupervised. Today, parents who do not hover can be arrested for imagined child endangerment. I see these stories popping up all the time now - a girl playing without supervision in her neighborhood playground is grounds for a mom to be jailed. I played unsupervised the majority of the time, as, I think, did most of my peers. I'm afraid most people under the age of 40 have no idea how to do anything on their own, because their parents always did things for them. How did that come about?

9. I rewatched the Dead Poets Society the other night. The movie is ambiguous in its political message. On the one hand, it says that we need free thinkers, not group think, and we need to rebel and rage against those would force conformity upon all of society. However, in the end, the conformists won in the movie. That flick shown in 1989, and the message is solid now. Conform or die.

10. Climate change deniers puzzle me. Why wouldn't you want cleaner air? Why wouldn't you want to minimize environmental damage for the next generation? What difference does it make, really, whether climate change is manmade or natural? The climate is changing - I'm 51 years old, I've seen it with my own eyes. Our summers are weird. Our winters are longer. The trees have funguses that previously were unknown here. We have bugs that used to not like this area but have become infesting pests. We have droughts and floods. Even the thunder sounds different. But regardless of the cause, I still don't understand why people oppose regulations that make industries take care of the environment. Isn't it rather insane to poison the grounds from which the foods grow? Do we think we are conquerors and must salt the earth?

11. Music is one way to soothe the soul and the savage beast. Some Alzheimer's patients have been helped with music and studies are underway to see how this can be used to assist people to have better lives. I can get behind this kind of research. This is the kind of thing our government dollars should be used for. We don't need another fighter plane.

12. We are, each one of us, an individual responsible for our actions and thoughts, but there are also circumstances all around us over which we have no control. We can't force businesses to be honorable, nations to be truthful, or group-think to be moral. All we can do is take care of ourselves as best we can, but we have created a society with multiple layers and systems, and circumventing can take a toll on the best of us. It is easy to slip and make a mistake. We need to understand that while we are individuals, we are also units of society and should work toward a greater good. That used to be a manifest concept that people understood, that your actions also impact your neighbor - that no man is an island - but somewhere in the last 30 years we've lost that lesson. Maybe people need to read more John Donne.

13. So current events have taken up my Thursday Thirteen. I've had a lot of this stuff on my mind for a while. I wanted to get it out and in the open. I'm a liberal and a feminist and I am proud of both titles. Thank you for reading. Feel free to disagree, but please do it nicely or I will delete your comment. It's my blog and I can do that.


Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; there is a list here. I've been playing for a while and this is my 358th time to do a list of 13 on a Thursday.

The Art of Saying Thank You

A few weeks after my husband's accident with the hay baler, I left him alone one morning while I ran errands. He was bored, and I suggested he write the thank-you notes I'd been meaning to do.

I'd kept a list of folks who had gone out of their way to help me and/or him out when he was hurt. Folks called and expressed concern, which we appreciated, but it was the people who actually brought food, or drove me to the hospital, or otherwise went out of their way to help, that I felt deserved a personal note. All of the extended hands were wonderful, but a couple of people really did step up and go out of their way for us.

One of the people on the list was the doctor who saved my husband's hand and arm. At first my husband questioned that - aren't we, after all, going to pay him? - but I insisted that he should send him a personal thank you note. I also had on the list the staff of 9 West at the hospital and the ER staff.

My husband, still recovering and not able to argue as well as he might otherwise, dutifully wrote up the thank-you notes while I was gone. I glanced at them - they were very simple, one or two lines that said something nice, such as, "Thank you for the cookies and for helping out my wife" or whatever. I dropped them in the mail.

My husband has since seen his doctor three times, and every time the doctor has thanked him for the thank-you note. My husband has decided that the physician must seldom receive a heart-felt thanks for the work he has done, since this little thank-you note has made such an impression on the good doctor.

It is such a small thing, a thank-you note. It took my husband very little time to write the notes - I think there were about a dozen in all - and the cost of the stationary and the stamp not worthy of discussion.

But we don't say "thank you" with sincerity in our society much any more. People do things and perhaps we thank them at the time - I know I thanked the doctor that night, at 1:30 a.m., when he came to tell me how the surgery went. Of course I meant that, and I was grateful. It's the little thank-you note that came weeks later, though, that the doctor remembers.

If we think back on our life journey, especially those of us who have a little age on our souls, I know there are many folks who could use a thank-you note. Special teachers, neighbors, grandparents, aunts, uncles, mentors, co-workers. We do not live secluded on islands where we see no one; we are social creatures and our lives intertwine with exchanges meaningful and meaningless perhaps thousands of times a day.  

Writing a thank-you note is not hard. Many people put it off because they think it is difficult or time consuming, but it is not. They can be as long or as short as you like.

What, I wonder, would a teacher say if she received a simple note like this:

Dear Mrs. ________,

The other day I was writing a report and I thought of you. I wanted to thank you for your encouragement when I was at student at _____ in _____; because of your efforts to teach me grammar, I am now a __________.

Thank you for all that you did for me.

And sign your name. It's not that hard, really. She may not remember you - teachers have hundreds of students, after all - but you will make her day.

And your heart will feel lighter.

I would like to see the art of saying Thank You return with a vengeance. I think it would make us a kinder, more gentle society, and heaven knows we could use more of that.

So for my own contribution, let me say THANK YOU, dear reader, for the time you've given me, the many comments you've left, and for your prayers and heartfelt concern. You have given me a greater community and enlightened my world.

THANK YOU!

THANK YOU!

THANK YOU!

Early Morning Visitor

Too dark for the camera and I was too shaky to get good shots, darn it, but we had a bear in the back yard this morning!

Yee hah!

Cute little thing, too!

Animal Farm

Sunday Stealing: Favorite Fictionals

From Sunday Stealing

Favorite Fictional ?


1. Favorite fictional couple?

A. Frodo and Sam. Technically, not a couple, though.
 
2. Favorite fictional character?

A. Xena the Warrior Princess
 
3. Favorite fictional TV show?

A. Xena: Warrior Princess
 
4. Favorite fictional movie?

A. The Lord of the Rings (all three of them, plus The Hobbit, all three of them, even though the last one hasn't come out yet.)
 
5. Favorite fictional villain?

A. Voldemort.
 
6. Favorite fictional hero?

A. Aragorn or Legolas. It's kind of a tie.
 
7. Favorite fictional pet?

A. Dino the Dinosaur. Or that dinosaur that was in the original Land of the Lost kids series in the 1970s.

8. Favorite fictional setting/universe?

A. Middle Earth.
 
9. Least favorite fictional couple?

A. Heathcliff and Catherine. Or maybe Harry and Ginny. Or Ron and Hermione. I still haven't figured out how that last one happened. I mean, really!
 
10. Least favorite fictional character?

A. That strange girl who dated Raj on Big Bang Theory early last season.
 
11. Least favorite fictional TV show?

A. I don't really have one. If I don't like something, I simply don't watch it. Who has the time to waste on something that isn't a favorite?
 
12. Least favorite fictional movie?

A. Anything with Adam Sandler in it.
 
13. Least favorite fictional villain?

A. The Borg in Star Trek
 
14. Least favorite fictional hero?

A. I am not fond of those vampire people in True Blood.

15. Least favorite fictional pet?

A. I don't know, some kind of cat, probably.

16. Least favorite fictional setting/universe?

A. The world of those Mad Max movies was pretty bleak.

Saturday 9: I Got You, Babe

Saturday 9: I Got You, Babe(recommended by Thank You Great Spirit)

If you're not familiar with today's song, you can hear it here.

1) Popular music has produced almost countless groups, but not that many duos. Besides Sonny & Cher, can you name another?

A. The Captain and Tennille. Also, The Carpenters.

2)  Hearing this recording from his clock radio is how Bill Murray woke up every morning in Groundhog Day. What woke you up this morning?

A. The alarm went off but I don't recall the song playing.

3) When she was growing up, Cher practiced her autograph for when she became a star. Is your signature legible? Or is it more of a scrawl?

A. My signature is barely legible.

4) In addition to show biz, Sonny & Cher had many careers: Sonny was a restauranteur and politician, Cher is an interior designer. Would you like to try your hand at any of those professions?

A. Can't say that I would, no. Although I once considered running for my local Board of Supervisors. I got over it.

5) In 1965, when this song topped the charts, Sonny and Cher were as famous for their wardrobe as for their music. Sonny was fond of tall, heavy-heeled boots while Cher often paired granny dresses with bare feet. What's on your feet right now?

A. A pair of mocassins.

6) By 1968, their career crashed. Cher's early attempts as a movie actress failed, their records stopped selling and the IRS came after them for back taxes. Have you ever been audited?

A. Nope. I am a good little girl when it comes to paying and doing my taxes.

7) In 1971 they were on top again with their TV show. But their marriage was coming apart. Sonny said, "For the last 5 years I worried about our career, not about us." Have you ever been guilty of putting career before relationship?

A. I think most of us do that at some point or another in any relationship - you can't always be focused on a relationship. You must, at some point, trust that it is strong and that it can withstand not being the focus of your attention for a while. But I confess that in my world, when someone wants me or needs me, the reality is that whatever else I am doing, however important it may be to me, generally my need comes second. 

8) By 1972 they were living separate lives -- in the same house. For the sake of The Sonny and Cher Comedy Hour, they pretended to be happily married another year and a half. Tell us about a time when you pretended to be happy, but weren't.

A. I'm sure there are times but I can't think of any. I tend to wear my emotions on my face and if I manage to keep that under control, my eyes give me away every time.

9) While their separation and divorce were bitter, they resumed their friendship when Cher showed up at the opening of his restaurant in 1976. Have you ever made the first move in repairing a relationship?

A. Yes.

Thursday Thirteen

Books everyone should read at least once:

1. To Kill a Mockingbird, by Harper Lee

2. 1984, by George Orwell

3. The Diary of a Young Girl, by Anne Frank

4. The Lord of the Rings & The Hobbit, by J. R. R. Tolkien

5. Little Women, by Louisa May Alcott

6. Wuthering Heights, by Emily Bronte

7. Hamlet, by William Shakespeare

8. Anne of Green Gables, by L. M. Montgomery

9. The Handmaid's Tale, by Margaret Atwood

10. A Wrinkle in Time, by Madeline L'Engle

11. The Shadow of the Wind, by Carlos Ruis Zafon

12. The War of the Worlds, by H. G. Wells

13. Leaves of Grass, by Walt Whitman

What are some books you think everyone should read?


Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; there is a list here. I've been playing for a while and this is my 357th time to do a list of 13 on a Thursday.

Fawn Photos

Unwritten

I began reading when I was three years old. By the time I was five, I read the newspaper every day. By the second grade, my teachers were telling me I would grow up to be a writer.

My journey into the world of words took me toward journalism. I remember when I was 10 years old telling my mother that I wanted to write for The Fincastle Herald, only I would do it better and right. At the time it was more like a gossip sheet than an actual newspaper. That was in the 1970s.

My mother was not thrilled with my choice of careers, and did not support the idea of writing as a profession. Her lack of faith in my abilities, I think, led me to make decisions I might not have made had I had more support. But I did go on to write for the newspaper, and I also put myself through Hollins College (now Hollins University) in hopes of learning more about the written word.

I also wanted to write books, of course. Most writers do. I have never aspired to be the Great American Novelist, though. Mostly I wanted to be a hack and write Nancy Drew Books, or something like that, like Carolyn Keene. As I got older I thought I would like to be another Victoria Holt or Phyllis Whitney. I merely wanted to make a nice living with words and use my talent. I did not want to write romances, but I liked genre writing. But I did not know how to go about that and such writing wasn't taught at Hollins, which took a more high-brow approach to the art. And at Hollins in the late 1980s, writing was art, not craft. And while I had the talent, I wasn't able to pull it together to become another Lee Smith.

So I drifted into journalism and I wrote for newspapers and magazines. Even then, I could not move beyond the small publications and into the larger world of better pay and prominence. Mostly I was afraid to submit, scared of failing, afraid to collect the rejection slips. So I stuck with the safe sells.

However, like most writers, I have things stuffed in drawers. Below is my very first completed novel. I wrote it pre-Hollins, around 1984. I typed it on an IBM Selectric II at my place of employment, which was a law office. In those days, employers had receptionists and I was one of those. I had a lot of down time and my immediate supervisor didn't care what I did so long as I looked busy. So I wrote a book.

Over the years, I have occasionally pulled this out and looked at it. It was a gothic romance, which are genre books that I read and enjoyed growing up. Those stories are no longer in vogue, though. They have morphed into vampire stories, I think.

Each time I looked at it, I changed names. Made notes about completely removing characters. Attempted to jostle it into something worthy of retyping.

In the fall of 2011, I pulled it out again and spent a good six weeks going over it. It was, I decided, crap. All of it. Nothing salvageable except the plot line, maybe. Maybe not even that.

I put it back into its box.
 

Things are different for me now. My work with the newspaper and writing for other magazines has declined considerably. Much of that was because of the recession, which cost me my steady gig at the newspaper and then brought me a slew of competitors, unemployed folks who turned to freelancing in hopes of keeping their bills paid.

In 2010, I went back to college and earned my masters in 2012. It was a liberal studies degree, not writing, though it was heavy on writing and English courses. I didn't pursue much writing at the time. I thought I might go into teaching.

And then I developed a health issue.

Rethinking my life and what I want to do with myself now at the age of 51 was not in my plans even a few years go. But nothing is as it was.

The Internet has changed publishing considerably. My first novel, though I thought it terrible, in reality was no worse than many of the things I've seen self-published, both in print and on the Internet. These days anyone who can string a sentence together can put up a story on Amazon and call themselves an author. The lure of the title has been diminished. While I do not believe every one can write, everyone else believes they can. Good works are drowning now in seas of mediocrity.

During a cleaning spell this weekend, I came across my novel, those pages typed on a typewriter. Only this hardcopy existed.

And then I turned that hard copy into this:



It's gone now, that first novel. That crap, that junk, that awful bit of work. All told it was 210 pages of drivel. I tore my name off each and every page, and shredded that, and put the rest in the recycling bin.

Over the next few months I expect more of my past writings to find their way into the scrap pile. I have long kept my chicken scratches and ideas, bits of poems, pieces of stories, unfinished articles. Whatever I find that I think has merit I will keep, but I plan to toss the rest of it where it belongs - in the trash.

Will this free me? Will this renew me and have me start anew, begin again my collection of words, lines, and stanzas? Will new paragraphs flow? Or will I give up and go do something else? And if I do something else, what will it be?

I don't know. I am in the midst of a change, a life crisis, of sorts. Tossing these pieces of paper are a beginning, as well as an end. However, I have no idea what the beginning is to. My life, like a book, is unwritten.