Words that demean women that we should all stop using:
1. Slut, slutty - term for a woman or girl who is thought to have loose sexual morals. It is generally used as an insult or sexual slur.
2. Bitch, bitchy - slang pejorative for a woman considered belligerent, unreasonable, malicious, controlling, intrusive, or aggressive.
3. Chick - a slang word implying a young woman is not capable of caring for herself or is an infant or infantile.
4. Airhead - a mindless or stupid woman (how often do you see this used to describe men?)
5. Ditsy - silly or scatterbrained (again, how often do you see this used to describe a man?)
6. Frigid - unable or unwilling to be sexually aroused and responsive or showing no friendliness or enthusiasm; stiff or formal in behavior or style
7. Emotional - easily upset or excited
8. Hysterical - uncontrolled, extreme emotion
9. Frumpy - dowdy and old-fashioned (dowdy should probably be added to this list)
10. High Maintenance - overly needy or prone to drama
11. Bridezilla - A woman planning her wedding who exercises a high degree of control over all or many minor details of the ceremony and reception. (What do you call the groom who does that?)
12. Hormonal - off kilter, out of control
13. "Working" - as in "working" woman, "working" mom. You don't hear anybody say "working" man or "working" dad, now do you?
_____________
Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; there is a list here if you want to read other Thursday Thirteens and/or play along. I've been playing for a while and this is my 457th time to do a list of 13 on a Thursday.
Thursday, July 21, 2016
Wednesday, July 20, 2016
Tuesday, July 19, 2016
Monday, July 18, 2016
At My Convenience
At my earliest convenience.
I hate it when I hear that on someone's answering machine. "I will call you back at my earliest convenience."
That means, "I will call you back when I am not doing anything else that I consider more important than you. Like playing Candy Crush or something."
"As soon as possible" is better, because while that basically means the same thing, it is easier to interpret that as saying "as soon as I've returned home, to my office, or whatever." As opposed to the above, wherein you're the least important thing on the list.
But really, why not just, "I will call you back."
That's your intent, right? To call back? So why does it need any modifiers? Just say, "Leave your name and number and I will call you back."
That's all that needs to be said. And these days, we all know to leave our name and number, and we assume that the person called will call back. If they don't, we call back, if it's urgent.
Of course, I'm talking old school here. Texting? I don't know what happens when you send someone a text and they don't respond. Do you get some kind of bounce-back, like with email, that says so-and-so is not available because they're on vacation?
Maybe someone can fill me in on that.
I have a flip phone, so I don't text. I know the emails I send to cellphones as texts aren't always answered, or answered promptly. So maybe texts just sit there, like Humpty Dumpty on a wall, hoping no one hits the delete button so the message disappears (or pushes you over the edge).
Courtesy has become such an obscurity I suppose I should not complain about "my earliest convenience." I suspect people who leave that sort of message thinks they are being polite, though the message is all about them. But we live in a society where everything is about me, and nothing about you, so I expect nothing less.
Sometimes when I am dealing with people on the phone, and I say, "Yes ma'am," the woman will stop. "You must be from the South," she will say. Or she may suggest I am old and antiquated, without trying to be insulting.
I can only imagine the lack of courtesy these folks deal with every day. A "Yes ma'am" must be quite a change of pace for it to be commented upon. And isn't that a shame?
Sometimes when I am dealing with folks and I say please, thank you, or I appreciate that, or thank you for your time, or whatever, the person on the other end seems rendered speechless by politeness. But there is no point in not being polite. Generally the salesperson is not responsible for what the company does. That man or woman did not build the product that is broken, or whatever the case may be.
My Monday wish is for more courtesy and politeness. Polite people don't, as a rule, do bad things. They don't yell or diminish people, they don't try to "put one over on you" and they don't make unfounded accusations. That's not to say that polite people sometimes aren't pushed to the edge and suddenly they are ranting, raving, and yelling, but on the whole, I think the world could use a bit more politeness.
In fact, a Roanoke café recently had it's street sign go viral because of what it said.
The sign reads:
Like everything in a capitalistic economy, even courtesy has its price.
And I hope the waitresses bring the patrons their coffee as soon as possible, and not at their earliest convenience.
I hate it when I hear that on someone's answering machine. "I will call you back at my earliest convenience."
That means, "I will call you back when I am not doing anything else that I consider more important than you. Like playing Candy Crush or something."
"As soon as possible" is better, because while that basically means the same thing, it is easier to interpret that as saying "as soon as I've returned home, to my office, or whatever." As opposed to the above, wherein you're the least important thing on the list.
But really, why not just, "I will call you back."
That's your intent, right? To call back? So why does it need any modifiers? Just say, "Leave your name and number and I will call you back."
That's all that needs to be said. And these days, we all know to leave our name and number, and we assume that the person called will call back. If they don't, we call back, if it's urgent.
Of course, I'm talking old school here. Texting? I don't know what happens when you send someone a text and they don't respond. Do you get some kind of bounce-back, like with email, that says so-and-so is not available because they're on vacation?
Maybe someone can fill me in on that.
I have a flip phone, so I don't text. I know the emails I send to cellphones as texts aren't always answered, or answered promptly. So maybe texts just sit there, like Humpty Dumpty on a wall, hoping no one hits the delete button so the message disappears (or pushes you over the edge).
Courtesy has become such an obscurity I suppose I should not complain about "my earliest convenience." I suspect people who leave that sort of message thinks they are being polite, though the message is all about them. But we live in a society where everything is about me, and nothing about you, so I expect nothing less.
Sometimes when I am dealing with people on the phone, and I say, "Yes ma'am," the woman will stop. "You must be from the South," she will say. Or she may suggest I am old and antiquated, without trying to be insulting.
I can only imagine the lack of courtesy these folks deal with every day. A "Yes ma'am" must be quite a change of pace for it to be commented upon. And isn't that a shame?
Sometimes when I am dealing with folks and I say please, thank you, or I appreciate that, or thank you for your time, or whatever, the person on the other end seems rendered speechless by politeness. But there is no point in not being polite. Generally the salesperson is not responsible for what the company does. That man or woman did not build the product that is broken, or whatever the case may be.
My Monday wish is for more courtesy and politeness. Polite people don't, as a rule, do bad things. They don't yell or diminish people, they don't try to "put one over on you" and they don't make unfounded accusations. That's not to say that polite people sometimes aren't pushed to the edge and suddenly they are ranting, raving, and yelling, but on the whole, I think the world could use a bit more politeness.
In fact, a Roanoke café recently had it's street sign go viral because of what it said.
The sign reads:
“Small coffee”According to reports, no one has actually been charged $5, but people are being nicer when they come in. Money talks, after all, and there's a big difference between $5 and $1.75.
$5.00
“Small coffee, please”
$3.00
“Hello, one small coffee please.”
$1.75
Like everything in a capitalistic economy, even courtesy has its price.
And I hope the waitresses bring the patrons their coffee as soon as possible, and not at their earliest convenience.
Sunday, July 17, 2016
Sunday Stealing: Story Telling
Sunday Stealing
The Story Teller's Meme
1. What are your current obsessions?
A. This year I have taken up coloring, and I like that. Other obsessions are blogging, my health, the clutter around the house that is too much for me to deal with on my own, and the fact that I don't cook well.
2. What are you listening to?
A. Nothing, at the moment. Well, the clothes are bouncing around in the dryer and there's a clock ticking on the wall, but that's about it.
3. Which item from your wardrobe do you wear most often?
A. New blue thing. I have a sports jacket thing that I wear all the time. My mother-in-law gave it to me around 1993 and that was the original Blue Thing. I wore it out completely, and this year finally, after several tries, found a new Blue Thing. Which is what I call it when I take it off somewhere and misplace it. "Babe, have you seen New Blue Thing?"
4. What are you reading?
A. I just finished At the Water's Edge, by Sara Gruen, and am getting ready to start Hold Still, by Sally Mann. I am listening to Homeport, by Nora Roberts, which I think I have been listening to for about six weeks now. I don't spend a lot of time in the car and that is where I listen to books.
5. What’s for dinner?
A. I am making a turkey meatloaf, and we will probably have green beans and sliced tomato with it.
6. What was the last thing you bought?
A. Groceries. If you don't want to count that, then a pair of $52 pants that were on sale for $12.58. They are the wrong color but they fit and for that kind of money I can wear them around the house.
7. Guilty pleasure?
A. Chocolate. And Lord of the Rings.
8. What training did you get and how do you make a living?
A. I majored in English and have a masters degree in the humanities. I used to be a news reporter and a freelance writer, but health issues have forced me to cease most of my work. My husband and I also own a farm. I used to help him more but I am not able to so do so much now.
9. If you could go back in time, knowing what you know now, and choose a different career path, what would you train to do?
A. I would have gone to school out of high school, obtained my Ph.D., and become a college professor, probably teaching English. I would have tenure by now and be ready to retire. If I hadn't done that, then I wish I had trained in computers.
10. What’s your best time of day?
A. Sometime around 11 a.m.
11. Do you like being on a team or are you a solo player?
A. Solo all the way.
12. What’s your favorite way to create art?
A. I'm a writer. I write. I also play the guitar and a few other instruments. Lately I've taken to coloring (see above obsession) and am hoping to work from there to drawing. We'll see. I have never considered myself much of a "drawer."
13. Name three items in your refrigerator: Watermelon, cherries, and blueberries.
14. Tell us about your first crush: My first crush was on my invisible friend, whose name was James.
15. The first time that I became a boyfriend/girlfriend was with who, when?
A. That is an oddly worded question. I suppose the first time I became a "girlfriend" was in the second grade.
16. Do you remember what you did on your first date?
A. My first date was a prom, so yes. We went by my grandmother's house to show her my dress (she cried) and then we went to eat at Fiji Island (local restaurant), and then went to Hotel Roanoke to the prom. My dress was blue, and he had on a light blue tux. He is not the guy I married. I was in the 10th grade and he was a senior.
17. How did you meet your current (or most recent) girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife?
A. We met beneath the football goal posts during the in-county rivalry football game in October 1982. Mutual friends introduced us (more like, pushed us together and then left us standing there).
18. How did your first romantic relationship end?
A. The invisible boyfriend just sort of went away. I have no idea how the one from second grade ended. The one from 10th grade ended when he graduated and went into the army.
19. Do you remember your first kiss?
A. No. But I remember my first kiss with my husband.
20. What do we still not know about you?
A. I still believe in Santa Claus. Well, the spirit of him, anyway.
The Story Teller's Meme
1. What are your current obsessions?
A. This year I have taken up coloring, and I like that. Other obsessions are blogging, my health, the clutter around the house that is too much for me to deal with on my own, and the fact that I don't cook well.
2. What are you listening to?
A. Nothing, at the moment. Well, the clothes are bouncing around in the dryer and there's a clock ticking on the wall, but that's about it.
3. Which item from your wardrobe do you wear most often?
A. New blue thing. I have a sports jacket thing that I wear all the time. My mother-in-law gave it to me around 1993 and that was the original Blue Thing. I wore it out completely, and this year finally, after several tries, found a new Blue Thing. Which is what I call it when I take it off somewhere and misplace it. "Babe, have you seen New Blue Thing?"
4. What are you reading?
A. I just finished At the Water's Edge, by Sara Gruen, and am getting ready to start Hold Still, by Sally Mann. I am listening to Homeport, by Nora Roberts, which I think I have been listening to for about six weeks now. I don't spend a lot of time in the car and that is where I listen to books.
5. What’s for dinner?
A. I am making a turkey meatloaf, and we will probably have green beans and sliced tomato with it.
6. What was the last thing you bought?
A. Groceries. If you don't want to count that, then a pair of $52 pants that were on sale for $12.58. They are the wrong color but they fit and for that kind of money I can wear them around the house.
7. Guilty pleasure?
A. Chocolate. And Lord of the Rings.
8. What training did you get and how do you make a living?
A. I majored in English and have a masters degree in the humanities. I used to be a news reporter and a freelance writer, but health issues have forced me to cease most of my work. My husband and I also own a farm. I used to help him more but I am not able to so do so much now.
9. If you could go back in time, knowing what you know now, and choose a different career path, what would you train to do?
A. I would have gone to school out of high school, obtained my Ph.D., and become a college professor, probably teaching English. I would have tenure by now and be ready to retire. If I hadn't done that, then I wish I had trained in computers.
10. What’s your best time of day?
A. Sometime around 11 a.m.
11. Do you like being on a team or are you a solo player?
A. Solo all the way.
12. What’s your favorite way to create art?
A. I'm a writer. I write. I also play the guitar and a few other instruments. Lately I've taken to coloring (see above obsession) and am hoping to work from there to drawing. We'll see. I have never considered myself much of a "drawer."
13. Name three items in your refrigerator: Watermelon, cherries, and blueberries.
14. Tell us about your first crush: My first crush was on my invisible friend, whose name was James.
15. The first time that I became a boyfriend/girlfriend was with who, when?
A. That is an oddly worded question. I suppose the first time I became a "girlfriend" was in the second grade.
16. Do you remember what you did on your first date?
A. My first date was a prom, so yes. We went by my grandmother's house to show her my dress (she cried) and then we went to eat at Fiji Island (local restaurant), and then went to Hotel Roanoke to the prom. My dress was blue, and he had on a light blue tux. He is not the guy I married. I was in the 10th grade and he was a senior.
17. How did you meet your current (or most recent) girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife?
A. We met beneath the football goal posts during the in-county rivalry football game in October 1982. Mutual friends introduced us (more like, pushed us together and then left us standing there).
18. How did your first romantic relationship end?
A. The invisible boyfriend just sort of went away. I have no idea how the one from second grade ended. The one from 10th grade ended when he graduated and went into the army.
19. Do you remember your first kiss?
A. No. But I remember my first kiss with my husband.
20. What do we still not know about you?
A. I still believe in Santa Claus. Well, the spirit of him, anyway.
__________
I encourage you to visit other participants in Sunday Stealing posts and leave a comment. Cheers to all us thieves who love memes, however we come by them.
I encourage you to visit other participants in Sunday Stealing posts and leave a comment. Cheers to all us thieves who love memes, however we come by them.
Saturday, July 16, 2016
Saturday 9: Sara Smile
Saturday 9: Sara Smile (1976)
. . . Because Kwizgiver suggested Hall & Oates. Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.
1) This was Hall & Oates' first #1 hit. Can you name another of their popular songs?
A. Private Eyes. And I didn't even have to look it up.
2) Darryl Hall and Sara Allen were a couple for 30 years, and he wrote this at the beginning of their long relationship. That makes this a very public love letter. Are you good at writing love letters? Would you rather tell the person how you feel, face to face? Or do you let your actions speak louder than your words?
A. I wrote a few love letters to my husband when we were dating, but mostly it's face to face. I also like to be nice and kind and let my actions speak for themselves. I love a lot of people, like a great many, and tolerate more than a few. There are only a few people I know well enough to speak with that I dislike, which means I like most everyone I know. (Politicians and other public figures do not count in this recitation.)
3) In the song, Darryl and Sara are waiting for the sunrise. Did you see the sunrise this morning? Or did you sleep in?
A. I am usually up by 6:30 a.m. This morning it was overcast, so no sun.
4) Both Hall & Oates hail from the Philadelphia area. Hall is a native of suburban Pottstown, which was a stop on the Reading/Philadelphia rail line made famous in Monopoly. Do you like playing board games?
A. I do. But with just my husband and me here, we seldom play.
5) John Oates grew up a few miles away from Pottstown in North Wales. Decades ago, North Wales' biggest employer was a cigar factory. Do you like the smell of a cigar?
A. Heavens no. I am terribly allergic to such lung-annihilating atrocities.
6) Daryl Hall now hosts a music show, Live from Daryl's House, that you catch free online. Do you typically watch shows from your computer, pad, phone or TV set?
A. I watch most shows from my TV, but I do watch a good number of youtube videos, though never anything very long. I never watch anything from a pad or phone. My Kindle Fire is supposed to be able to handle streaming video but it does not.
7) Hall & Oates are currently on tour. Are you seeing/have you seen a concert this summer?
A. No to all aspects of this question.
8) Daryl and John have been friends for 50 years, even living together at the beginning of their careers when money was tight. Another successful duo of the rock era, Simon & Garfunkle, also met as teens but they forever seem to be feuding. What do you think makes for a lasting friendship/partnership?
A. Good question. I have one friend that has been dear to me for 33 years, another who has been in my heart for about 18, and another that I've known for about four years now. And another that I've known for about 12 years. I have a lot of people that I have known for many, many years. Whether or not they are friends or just people I know is a valid question, one to which I have no real answer.
I find it difficult to make friends, mostly because I am not out and about. I also am quite introverted, which makes it hard to reach out, and as I have aged it's only gotten harder. But I think to have a good friend you also have to be a good friend. That means you're trustworthy, loyal, and dependable. You recognize if you mess up and try to make it right (at least apologize). Also, you're honest, and you don't use people. Good friendships are reciprocal, and like a marriage, sometimes one person gives more than the other, but ultimately things should feel even to some degree.
9) Random question: Are you quick to try new things?
A. Depends on the thing. A rocket roller coaster? Nope. A new book? Sure. However, I am in my comfort zone way too much anymore, something which needs to change. So maybe I will slowly be quicker to try new things.
I encourage you to visit other participants in Saturday 9 posts and leave a comment. Because there are no rules, it is your choice. Saturday 9 players hate rules. We love memes, however.
. . . Because Kwizgiver suggested Hall & Oates. Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.
1) This was Hall & Oates' first #1 hit. Can you name another of their popular songs?
A. Private Eyes. And I didn't even have to look it up.
2) Darryl Hall and Sara Allen were a couple for 30 years, and he wrote this at the beginning of their long relationship. That makes this a very public love letter. Are you good at writing love letters? Would you rather tell the person how you feel, face to face? Or do you let your actions speak louder than your words?
A. I wrote a few love letters to my husband when we were dating, but mostly it's face to face. I also like to be nice and kind and let my actions speak for themselves. I love a lot of people, like a great many, and tolerate more than a few. There are only a few people I know well enough to speak with that I dislike, which means I like most everyone I know. (Politicians and other public figures do not count in this recitation.)
3) In the song, Darryl and Sara are waiting for the sunrise. Did you see the sunrise this morning? Or did you sleep in?
A. I am usually up by 6:30 a.m. This morning it was overcast, so no sun.
4) Both Hall & Oates hail from the Philadelphia area. Hall is a native of suburban Pottstown, which was a stop on the Reading/Philadelphia rail line made famous in Monopoly. Do you like playing board games?
A. I do. But with just my husband and me here, we seldom play.
5) John Oates grew up a few miles away from Pottstown in North Wales. Decades ago, North Wales' biggest employer was a cigar factory. Do you like the smell of a cigar?
A. Heavens no. I am terribly allergic to such lung-annihilating atrocities.
6) Daryl Hall now hosts a music show, Live from Daryl's House, that you catch free online. Do you typically watch shows from your computer, pad, phone or TV set?
A. I watch most shows from my TV, but I do watch a good number of youtube videos, though never anything very long. I never watch anything from a pad or phone. My Kindle Fire is supposed to be able to handle streaming video but it does not.
7) Hall & Oates are currently on tour. Are you seeing/have you seen a concert this summer?
A. No to all aspects of this question.
8) Daryl and John have been friends for 50 years, even living together at the beginning of their careers when money was tight. Another successful duo of the rock era, Simon & Garfunkle, also met as teens but they forever seem to be feuding. What do you think makes for a lasting friendship/partnership?
A. Good question. I have one friend that has been dear to me for 33 years, another who has been in my heart for about 18, and another that I've known for about four years now. And another that I've known for about 12 years. I have a lot of people that I have known for many, many years. Whether or not they are friends or just people I know is a valid question, one to which I have no real answer.
I find it difficult to make friends, mostly because I am not out and about. I also am quite introverted, which makes it hard to reach out, and as I have aged it's only gotten harder. But I think to have a good friend you also have to be a good friend. That means you're trustworthy, loyal, and dependable. You recognize if you mess up and try to make it right (at least apologize). Also, you're honest, and you don't use people. Good friendships are reciprocal, and like a marriage, sometimes one person gives more than the other, but ultimately things should feel even to some degree.
9) Random question: Are you quick to try new things?
A. Depends on the thing. A rocket roller coaster? Nope. A new book? Sure. However, I am in my comfort zone way too much anymore, something which needs to change. So maybe I will slowly be quicker to try new things.
_____________
I encourage you to visit other participants in Saturday 9 posts and leave a comment. Because there are no rules, it is your choice. Saturday 9 players hate rules. We love memes, however.
Friday, July 15, 2016
Books: At the Water's Edge
At the Water's Edge
By Sara Gruen
Copyright 2015
378 pages (plus author's notes & stuff at the back)
I have also read Gruen's first book, Water for Elephants, which readers may recall was made into a not-so-successful movie. (The book was better.)
This book, At the Water's Edge, starts off slow but gathered momentum after the first laborious chapters. For a while, the narrator was not someone I could relate to - a spoiled, wealthy woman who had never ironed a shirt in her life, who had married an insipid husband who could not be called a man. He was more like a boy-child.
The story was set during World War II and focused on Scotland. Madeline and her husband, Ellis, set off in the midst of a war to pursue the Loch Ness Monster because Ellis's father had once found fame with photos of the monster, though those photos were later proven false. So Ellis wanted to clear his father's name. Ellis was not fighting in the war because he was color blind, and his father, a Colonel, was ashamed of his son.
The duo take along Ellis's best friend, Hank, and they end up at a hotel/inn. Ellis and Hank essentially desert Madeline, and she makes friends with the staff and with the inn owner, a former captain in the army who is missing a finger and has a scarred body from early on in the war.
Madeline begins to find herself and learn more about life and the real world while her husband and his friend are off being playboys or something. Along the way, Madeline learns that her husband didn't really want to be married to her and that his color blind excuse was just that - an excuse.
I would not call this story compelling, gripping, or a page turner. I read it while I was eating dinner and finished it up over the weekend when the lights were out and I had nothing else to do but read by flashlight. I enjoyed the historical aspect of the novel - Gruen does period pieces well - but in general I do not find her characters to be people I like. Even though Madeline grows and turns into a better human being at the end, she still has a lot to learn about life.
The story does have interesting metaphors about monsters - the monsters in the lake, the monster in her husband, the monster of drug use, the monsters inside all of us who peek out from time to time. What we do with those monsters depends on a variety of things, I suppose.
If you can get past the first few chapters, the story picks up and becomes a better read. So if you decide to read this New York Times bestseller, hang in there.
3 stars
By Sara Gruen
Copyright 2015
378 pages (plus author's notes & stuff at the back)
I have also read Gruen's first book, Water for Elephants, which readers may recall was made into a not-so-successful movie. (The book was better.)
This book, At the Water's Edge, starts off slow but gathered momentum after the first laborious chapters. For a while, the narrator was not someone I could relate to - a spoiled, wealthy woman who had never ironed a shirt in her life, who had married an insipid husband who could not be called a man. He was more like a boy-child.
The story was set during World War II and focused on Scotland. Madeline and her husband, Ellis, set off in the midst of a war to pursue the Loch Ness Monster because Ellis's father had once found fame with photos of the monster, though those photos were later proven false. So Ellis wanted to clear his father's name. Ellis was not fighting in the war because he was color blind, and his father, a Colonel, was ashamed of his son.
The duo take along Ellis's best friend, Hank, and they end up at a hotel/inn. Ellis and Hank essentially desert Madeline, and she makes friends with the staff and with the inn owner, a former captain in the army who is missing a finger and has a scarred body from early on in the war.
Madeline begins to find herself and learn more about life and the real world while her husband and his friend are off being playboys or something. Along the way, Madeline learns that her husband didn't really want to be married to her and that his color blind excuse was just that - an excuse.
I would not call this story compelling, gripping, or a page turner. I read it while I was eating dinner and finished it up over the weekend when the lights were out and I had nothing else to do but read by flashlight. I enjoyed the historical aspect of the novel - Gruen does period pieces well - but in general I do not find her characters to be people I like. Even though Madeline grows and turns into a better human being at the end, she still has a lot to learn about life.
The story does have interesting metaphors about monsters - the monsters in the lake, the monster in her husband, the monster of drug use, the monsters inside all of us who peek out from time to time. What we do with those monsters depends on a variety of things, I suppose.
If you can get past the first few chapters, the story picks up and becomes a better read. So if you decide to read this New York Times bestseller, hang in there.
3 stars
Thursday, July 14, 2016
Thursday 13
I used to be a news reporter, so I know a bit about interviews - both giving and receiving. I've been the interviewer more times than I can count, but I have been interviewed myself only a handful of times, if that. I could probably write a book about it, but I think there are already a few out there.
It is much harder to be the person being interviewed, especially if you are not used to giving information to the public. The heat of the moment, especially if things get a little emotional, means you may say things you don't intend. You may also forget what you said, only to find a surprise in the newspaper or on the TV the next day.
So here are some interview tips, if you are being interviewed.
1. Decide if you want to do the interview. The decisions that go into this are many - your expertise on the topic, the reason for the interview, your trust in the interviewer, the venue. A controversial subject means there will be people who disagree with you, and in today's social media age that means you may read things you don't want to about your thoughts and ideas. Also ask yourself if the interview is relevant or timely. A hint: noncontroversial subject matter is easier for the person being interviewed than controversy, so first timers might want to keep this in mind. If you collect trains, you're probably good. That's a feel-good feature piece. If you're an environmentalist who hates trains, you're likely to receive adverse publicity from social media. Because let's face it, lots of people like trains.
2. Find out what you can about the reporter/news anchor / blogger and the company they work for. You may not want to bother with a blogger who has 10 readers, but a major news outlet could mean big bucks for your business. If a freelance writer contacts you, ask where she plans to sell the article. Do not ask if you can read it first. Some interviewers may allow that, but most media do not allow reporters to give subjects any say in what is written or said for the publication or TV.
3. Find out where the interview will take place. Try to get it on familiar ground, if you can - if you're more comfortable in your office or when you're out on a jog, then see what you can work out so that it suits you. While you may not be able to get a reporter to run along beside you, she may be agreeable to meeting you at the park before your run.
4. However, you may need to have a certain look - coat and tie, for example - depending on subject matter. Keep that in mind. (As an aside, the news reporter should also dress well. I can't tell you how many newspaper reporters I've seen in crummy jeans and mutilated tennis shoes. Come on, people. Be professional. At least buy new shoes.)
5. After you've decided to do the interview, think about your message. Are you promoting a book? What kind of slant can you give the interview to make it more interesting to readers, viewers, or listeners? Figure out your key points and try to deliver them in 30 seconds. Generally, you should have three succinct messages, preferably linking together in some fashion.
6. During the interview, talk in "regular" speak. Don't use acronyms or words that may be found only in your industry. Not everyone knows what OSHA is, nor can they recite the Periodic Table. Keep things around a 6th grade level, if you can.
7. Have papers to hand to the interviewer so they have something to refer to. If you have research you can share, do so. If there's a synopsis of your book ready, hand it over. Your interviewer will be grateful for the extra information. A resume doesn't hurt, either, to give the interviewer information he may not otherwise have. You never know what can fill out a story.
8. Remember that there is no such thing as "off the record" unless you both agree to it, and even then, unless you really trust the interviewer, don't consider it a reality. Many people when being interviewed tend to just throw out, "oh, and off the record, so-and-so did thus-and-such," but unless the interviewer specifically agrees to keep the information out of a story, it's fair game.
9. Try not to fill in a silence. Reporters know that people are uncomfortable when it gets quiet, and eventually the interview subject will say something just to break the silence. That's when you may start to ramble and say things you didn't intend to say.
10. If the reporter gets argumentative and you're not there to argue, end the interview. Some interviewers come in loaded for bear, with an agenda already set, and it doesn't matter what you say, because they are trying to slant the story.
11. Record the interview yourself with a tape recorder so you can remember what you said. Some reporters do not take notes. Some interviewers record the interviews. You have the same right, so do it. Let the interviewer know as a courtesy.
12. If your interview will be on TV, radio, a podcast, or some other form of audio, make sure not to speak in a monotone. Try not to be nervous; a shaky voice comes through and can detract from your message.
13. If you are being interviewed in your own space, be aware that the interviewer may take note of items in your home or office. The interviewer may go to the restroom and open your medicine cabinet. They may note that you collect Beanie Babies or have photos of your family on your desk. Look over your space with the eye of a TV camera. If there's something there you don't want seen, put it away.
The interviewer will ultimately control the story and the interview, but try not to let the person get to you. Emotions make for good copy, but may not make you look good.
Most of all, be careful.
_____________
Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; there is a list here if you want to read other Thursday Thirteens and/or play along. I've been playing for a while and this is my 456th time to do a list of 13 on a Thursday.
It is much harder to be the person being interviewed, especially if you are not used to giving information to the public. The heat of the moment, especially if things get a little emotional, means you may say things you don't intend. You may also forget what you said, only to find a surprise in the newspaper or on the TV the next day.
So here are some interview tips, if you are being interviewed.
1. Decide if you want to do the interview. The decisions that go into this are many - your expertise on the topic, the reason for the interview, your trust in the interviewer, the venue. A controversial subject means there will be people who disagree with you, and in today's social media age that means you may read things you don't want to about your thoughts and ideas. Also ask yourself if the interview is relevant or timely. A hint: noncontroversial subject matter is easier for the person being interviewed than controversy, so first timers might want to keep this in mind. If you collect trains, you're probably good. That's a feel-good feature piece. If you're an environmentalist who hates trains, you're likely to receive adverse publicity from social media. Because let's face it, lots of people like trains.
2. Find out what you can about the reporter/news anchor / blogger and the company they work for. You may not want to bother with a blogger who has 10 readers, but a major news outlet could mean big bucks for your business. If a freelance writer contacts you, ask where she plans to sell the article. Do not ask if you can read it first. Some interviewers may allow that, but most media do not allow reporters to give subjects any say in what is written or said for the publication or TV.
3. Find out where the interview will take place. Try to get it on familiar ground, if you can - if you're more comfortable in your office or when you're out on a jog, then see what you can work out so that it suits you. While you may not be able to get a reporter to run along beside you, she may be agreeable to meeting you at the park before your run.
4. However, you may need to have a certain look - coat and tie, for example - depending on subject matter. Keep that in mind. (As an aside, the news reporter should also dress well. I can't tell you how many newspaper reporters I've seen in crummy jeans and mutilated tennis shoes. Come on, people. Be professional. At least buy new shoes.)
5. After you've decided to do the interview, think about your message. Are you promoting a book? What kind of slant can you give the interview to make it more interesting to readers, viewers, or listeners? Figure out your key points and try to deliver them in 30 seconds. Generally, you should have three succinct messages, preferably linking together in some fashion.
6. During the interview, talk in "regular" speak. Don't use acronyms or words that may be found only in your industry. Not everyone knows what OSHA is, nor can they recite the Periodic Table. Keep things around a 6th grade level, if you can.
7. Have papers to hand to the interviewer so they have something to refer to. If you have research you can share, do so. If there's a synopsis of your book ready, hand it over. Your interviewer will be grateful for the extra information. A resume doesn't hurt, either, to give the interviewer information he may not otherwise have. You never know what can fill out a story.
8. Remember that there is no such thing as "off the record" unless you both agree to it, and even then, unless you really trust the interviewer, don't consider it a reality. Many people when being interviewed tend to just throw out, "oh, and off the record, so-and-so did thus-and-such," but unless the interviewer specifically agrees to keep the information out of a story, it's fair game.
9. Try not to fill in a silence. Reporters know that people are uncomfortable when it gets quiet, and eventually the interview subject will say something just to break the silence. That's when you may start to ramble and say things you didn't intend to say.
10. If the reporter gets argumentative and you're not there to argue, end the interview. Some interviewers come in loaded for bear, with an agenda already set, and it doesn't matter what you say, because they are trying to slant the story.
11. Record the interview yourself with a tape recorder so you can remember what you said. Some reporters do not take notes. Some interviewers record the interviews. You have the same right, so do it. Let the interviewer know as a courtesy.
12. If your interview will be on TV, radio, a podcast, or some other form of audio, make sure not to speak in a monotone. Try not to be nervous; a shaky voice comes through and can detract from your message.
13. If you are being interviewed in your own space, be aware that the interviewer may take note of items in your home or office. The interviewer may go to the restroom and open your medicine cabinet. They may note that you collect Beanie Babies or have photos of your family on your desk. Look over your space with the eye of a TV camera. If there's something there you don't want seen, put it away.
The interviewer will ultimately control the story and the interview, but try not to let the person get to you. Emotions make for good copy, but may not make you look good.
Most of all, be careful.
_____________
Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; there is a list here if you want to read other Thursday Thirteens and/or play along. I've been playing for a while and this is my 456th time to do a list of 13 on a Thursday.
Wednesday, July 13, 2016
Ear Worm in My Mind
For reasons known only to the interworking of my brain, I have had two Five for Fighting songs stuck in the my head for well over a week now.
The songs are 100 years and Superman.
Interestingly, on the first song, I can't find an agreement on the lyrics. The words are all over the place in a couple of stanzas.
On the official video, it says, for example:
I'm 33 for a moment
Still the man, but you see I'm a they
A kid on the way, babe.
A family on my mind
But other lyric spots on the Internet say this:
I'm thirty three for a moment
Still the man, but you see I'm of age
A kid on the way
A family on my mind
I have no idea which is right, although I tend to go with the version on the official video because, well, it's official. However, the second version actually makes more sense to me.
In Superman, there are a couple of lines on the official version that say this:
I can't stand to fly
I'm not that naïve
I'm just out to find
The better part of me
That version doesn't go on to give the full song. So later there is a stanza that says this;
I can't stand to fly
I'm not that naïve
Men weren't meant to ride
With clouds between their knees
But I tend to hear it as
I can't stand to fly
I'm not that naïve
Men weren't meant to ride
on suicide machines.
I know that the latter one is wrong and something coming out of my little pea brain, but it also makes perfect sense to me. For some reason, it makes me think of 9/11.
So why are these songs stuck in my head?
The first one is about aging and growing old, something which seems to be weighing on me here at the half-time of my life, as the song calls it. Then I'll be 67, just like that. Whoosh - time moving on. Plus, 100 years is a long time to live. Only a fortunate few get to do that and still have their wits and body working. The idea of being old and just a body without a brain scares the bejeezus out of me.
As for the Superman song, I think it's the line, "it's not easy to be me" that has that refrain running through my head. I'm having a difficult time right now; I can't get my pain levels under control, and I am feeling rather frustrated. If I sit around and do nothing, I don't hurt so bad, on the one hand, but on the other, it makes other body parts start to degenerate. And then everything kind of hurts.
At least the two songs are alternating back and forth in my head, so I'm not stuck on just one ear worm.
The songs are 100 years and Superman.
Interestingly, on the first song, I can't find an agreement on the lyrics. The words are all over the place in a couple of stanzas.
On the official video, it says, for example:
I'm 33 for a moment
Still the man, but you see I'm a they
A kid on the way, babe.
A family on my mind
But other lyric spots on the Internet say this:
I'm thirty three for a moment
Still the man, but you see I'm of age
A kid on the way
A family on my mind
I have no idea which is right, although I tend to go with the version on the official video because, well, it's official. However, the second version actually makes more sense to me.
In Superman, there are a couple of lines on the official version that say this:
I can't stand to fly
I'm not that naïve
I'm just out to find
The better part of me
That version doesn't go on to give the full song. So later there is a stanza that says this;
I can't stand to fly
I'm not that naïve
Men weren't meant to ride
With clouds between their knees
But I tend to hear it as
I can't stand to fly
I'm not that naïve
Men weren't meant to ride
on suicide machines.
I know that the latter one is wrong and something coming out of my little pea brain, but it also makes perfect sense to me. For some reason, it makes me think of 9/11.
So why are these songs stuck in my head?
The first one is about aging and growing old, something which seems to be weighing on me here at the half-time of my life, as the song calls it. Then I'll be 67, just like that. Whoosh - time moving on. Plus, 100 years is a long time to live. Only a fortunate few get to do that and still have their wits and body working. The idea of being old and just a body without a brain scares the bejeezus out of me.
As for the Superman song, I think it's the line, "it's not easy to be me" that has that refrain running through my head. I'm having a difficult time right now; I can't get my pain levels under control, and I am feeling rather frustrated. If I sit around and do nothing, I don't hurt so bad, on the one hand, but on the other, it makes other body parts start to degenerate. And then everything kind of hurts.
At least the two songs are alternating back and forth in my head, so I'm not stuck on just one ear worm.
Tuesday, July 12, 2016
Monday, July 11, 2016
The Night Without Lights
Friday afternoon, around 5:10 or so, the power went out.
Before that, it blinked a few times. I looked outside and realized a big storm was upon us, and I was racing around trying to turn off computers and TVs when the electricity gave up the ghost.
A glance out the bedroom window told me we were having a major weather event. It was raining so hard and furiously that I could not see the fence, which is about 30 yards away. The wind was sending leaves and tree branches in my general direction.
I decided the best thing I could do was sit in the car until the weather calmed. At least if lightning struck, the tires were rubber.
Fortunately, our damage was minimal; a few trees down in the little forest in front of the house and others on the farm, but nothing across the fences. The generator for the water pump for the cattle watering troughs kicked on and worked as it should, so I didn't have to worry about the cows.
Without electricity, though, I had to find something to do besides keep my eyeballs on this silly screen at my computer.
I opted to read in the natural light, sitting close to a window. My house, as it turns out, is rather dark. We could have used a few more windows but didn't realize that until after we built. Oh well.
Any way, I finished up my book club book. The power did not return. I had the windows up - a rarity for me because of my asthma and allergies. My husband had mowed the night before and I wasn't sure I was going to be able to stand the grass smell. Ultimately, I could not, so I closed the windows in the bedroom and opened a few others in the far side of the house.
It grew dark around 8:30, and I went to bed. I didn't want to read by flashlight.
Fortunately, it was not a hot night. I slept fitfully, waking about every two hours. I know I dreamed and talked in my sleep; not an unusual occurrence for me. I rose at 6 a.m., long before the Man of the House came in from work. He brought me a very greasy ham biscuit from BoJangles for breakfast (something I requested he not do again). Then he fired up a generator, giving me lights, water, and a fan, but we'd already lost the contents of the refrigerator, most of which I had purchased on Thursday.
We had no phones except our cell phones, which do not work well in the house anyway, and I couldn't do laundry. I took a medium hot shower (there was still hot water in the hot water heater, fortunately), and then sat in the car and recharged my phone while I listened to a book on tape.
After that, I washed all the dishes by hand by heating water with my electric tea kettle and pouring it into a big pan. I folded whatever clothing I hadn't finished up the day before. Then I settled in to a chore I had long put off - tearing articles out of newspapers.
Tearing up a newspaper is a bit like ripping a little shred from my heart, but I have piles of paper. When you write for a newspaper and you keep the stories with your byline, you end up with a lot of newspaper piles. And if you keep all the stories on a local subject that you've been following with interest, even if you didn't write the articles, then you have even more paper.
I made a significant impact on the pile, and then the phone rang. That was a surprise. After thanking the salesperson for letting me know I had a phone, I hung up on them, and then promptly plugged in my internet connection to see if I could get online with my tablet. I could, and then I couldn't. It was sporadic, but I was able to get my fix. Yes, I am addicted to the Internet. I am addicted to blogs, and reading blogs, and to reading the news, and to Facebook, and to receiving email from friends. Even so, I have thus far refused a smartphone simply because I know I will remain glued to the thing from sun up to sun down, and I don't want that.
I want to keep some autonomy, after all. And I rather like it when I go for a drive and no one can get me because only a select few have my cell number. But I didn't like it when I couldn't access things when I wanted.
The lights came back on around 1:30 p.m., and that was the end of that. I stripped the bed, washed the linens, made the bed back up, and put the dishes I had hand-washed in the dishwasher just because. I fretted over the food in the freezer and the refrigerator. I looked online for guidelines as to how long food would be safe without power. The freezer food was probably okay. The refrigerator stuff - no way. Out it went.
Sunday I rose early to head to the supermarket. Halfway through my shopping trip, I realized I had forgotten my wallet. I put everything back, came back home, and went back after it. This is no small feat given that the shopping around here is a 15 minute drive away (10 if you go fast). What should have taken me an hour and 15 minutes took two hours or better, and I arrived home in time to give my husband a ham sandwich for lunch.
So that was our eventful weekend.
And I learned something I already knew but had refused to deal with - the Internet sucks up a lot of my time. I think it is time I place some limits on it, even if it is my major method of socialization these days. That means less Facebook and video games, mostly. Anything to do with writing doesn't count - to me, that's still what I do, write. Even if I'm not doing it professionally at the moment.
Before that, it blinked a few times. I looked outside and realized a big storm was upon us, and I was racing around trying to turn off computers and TVs when the electricity gave up the ghost.
A glance out the bedroom window told me we were having a major weather event. It was raining so hard and furiously that I could not see the fence, which is about 30 yards away. The wind was sending leaves and tree branches in my general direction.
I decided the best thing I could do was sit in the car until the weather calmed. At least if lightning struck, the tires were rubber.
Fortunately, our damage was minimal; a few trees down in the little forest in front of the house and others on the farm, but nothing across the fences. The generator for the water pump for the cattle watering troughs kicked on and worked as it should, so I didn't have to worry about the cows.
Without electricity, though, I had to find something to do besides keep my eyeballs on this silly screen at my computer.
I opted to read in the natural light, sitting close to a window. My house, as it turns out, is rather dark. We could have used a few more windows but didn't realize that until after we built. Oh well.
Any way, I finished up my book club book. The power did not return. I had the windows up - a rarity for me because of my asthma and allergies. My husband had mowed the night before and I wasn't sure I was going to be able to stand the grass smell. Ultimately, I could not, so I closed the windows in the bedroom and opened a few others in the far side of the house.
It grew dark around 8:30, and I went to bed. I didn't want to read by flashlight.
Fortunately, it was not a hot night. I slept fitfully, waking about every two hours. I know I dreamed and talked in my sleep; not an unusual occurrence for me. I rose at 6 a.m., long before the Man of the House came in from work. He brought me a very greasy ham biscuit from BoJangles for breakfast (something I requested he not do again). Then he fired up a generator, giving me lights, water, and a fan, but we'd already lost the contents of the refrigerator, most of which I had purchased on Thursday.
We had no phones except our cell phones, which do not work well in the house anyway, and I couldn't do laundry. I took a medium hot shower (there was still hot water in the hot water heater, fortunately), and then sat in the car and recharged my phone while I listened to a book on tape.
After that, I washed all the dishes by hand by heating water with my electric tea kettle and pouring it into a big pan. I folded whatever clothing I hadn't finished up the day before. Then I settled in to a chore I had long put off - tearing articles out of newspapers.
Tearing up a newspaper is a bit like ripping a little shred from my heart, but I have piles of paper. When you write for a newspaper and you keep the stories with your byline, you end up with a lot of newspaper piles. And if you keep all the stories on a local subject that you've been following with interest, even if you didn't write the articles, then you have even more paper.
I made a significant impact on the pile, and then the phone rang. That was a surprise. After thanking the salesperson for letting me know I had a phone, I hung up on them, and then promptly plugged in my internet connection to see if I could get online with my tablet. I could, and then I couldn't. It was sporadic, but I was able to get my fix. Yes, I am addicted to the Internet. I am addicted to blogs, and reading blogs, and to reading the news, and to Facebook, and to receiving email from friends. Even so, I have thus far refused a smartphone simply because I know I will remain glued to the thing from sun up to sun down, and I don't want that.
I want to keep some autonomy, after all. And I rather like it when I go for a drive and no one can get me because only a select few have my cell number. But I didn't like it when I couldn't access things when I wanted.
The lights came back on around 1:30 p.m., and that was the end of that. I stripped the bed, washed the linens, made the bed back up, and put the dishes I had hand-washed in the dishwasher just because. I fretted over the food in the freezer and the refrigerator. I looked online for guidelines as to how long food would be safe without power. The freezer food was probably okay. The refrigerator stuff - no way. Out it went.
Sunday I rose early to head to the supermarket. Halfway through my shopping trip, I realized I had forgotten my wallet. I put everything back, came back home, and went back after it. This is no small feat given that the shopping around here is a 15 minute drive away (10 if you go fast). What should have taken me an hour and 15 minutes took two hours or better, and I arrived home in time to give my husband a ham sandwich for lunch.
So that was our eventful weekend.
And I learned something I already knew but had refused to deal with - the Internet sucks up a lot of my time. I think it is time I place some limits on it, even if it is my major method of socialization these days. That means less Facebook and video games, mostly. Anything to do with writing doesn't count - to me, that's still what I do, write. Even if I'm not doing it professionally at the moment.
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