Thursday, September 25, 2014

Thursday Thirteen

Today is one of my aunt's birthday, and in counting I realized I had a lot of aunts.

1. Happy Birthday Aunt Carolyn. This is my mother's sister. She is 64 today (I think. I hope I haven't aged her a year).

2. My father had a sister, Elizabeth, who was also my aunt. She died last year at the age of 61.

3. My other aunts are all by marriage. I have a large family so there are many of them. Aunt Sherri is actually younger than me, as is my uncle. She's married to my mother's youngest brother.

4. Aunt Jennifer is also married to one my mother's brothers,

5. as is Aunt Pam, who is retired from the Air Force, and

6. I have another aunt in Kansas who is married to another of my mother's brothers. I am not sure we've actually met. If we did it was long ago.

7. My father's oldest brother's wife is Aunt Julie.

8. Aunt Joanie is my father's other brother's wife. His brother is now deceased.

9. My husband's family became mine, and Aunt Nancy is my husband's father's sister. She lives in Georgia.

10. Aunt Franny, also my husband's father's sister, lives in Salem.

11. Aunt Jenny, also my husband's father's sister, passed away several years ago.

12. Aunt Marjean is my husband's mother's brother's wife. She lives in Chicago.

13. Aunt Cass was my husband's mother's other brother's wife. They are both deceased.

I hope I didn't miss anyone. I know there are some ex-wives in there that I also refer to as "aunt" but I am not listing them here.

I feel lucky to have that many aunts, even if many are by marriage. I don't see them much but it is nice that they are there.

Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; there is a list here. I've been playing for a while and this is my 362nd time to do a list of 13 on a Thursday.

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

When Girls Go Missing

I am saddened that it seems like every time I turn on the TV, another girl has gone missing.

This is not just in my state, my little corner of the world, where girls go missing.

Lots of girls go missing every day. Why do girls go missing?

The most recent girl to go missing is another UVA student, up in Charlottesville, where it appears something is very wrong. Five women have gone missing in that area in the last five years. I have found references to girls going missing as far back as 1996 on the Internet. The Route 29 Stalker, some articles call it.
 
What frustrates me, though, is the "blame the victim" mentality. Why shouldn't a young woman be able to walk safely from one area of a city to another? Not just Charlottesville or Roanoke, but any city?

What gives anyone the right to touch some other human being, to reach into that personal space and cause physical harm, defilement, or death? What gives them the right?

They have no right. It doesn't matter if the girl has been drinking, what she was wearing, or how she was acting. That doesn't give anyone the right to harm another. It simply doesn't.

And yet the first thing I heard was "she'd been drinking" or "look at what she was wearing" or "why was she walking alone at 1 a.m." As if it is her fault. As if she is "asking for it" - why?

Why are the standards so different?

I am old enough now that I am always careful. But young people are not careful. When I was an older student at Hollins, the young girls had no qualms about running around a dimly lit campus without a care. Those of us who were a little older always made sure we had somebody with us when we walked to our cars. The young girls worried us then and that was 25 years ago.

So I am angry. I am angry that a young girl can't do what she wants and live her life as she wishes without doing it in fear. Because fear is what it is to be a woman in today's society. Fear of being alone with a stranger in a parking lot. Fear of going to the mall after dark. Fear of hurt, fear of pain, fear of drawing attention to yourself so that someone takes notice, and hurts you.

I am disappointed in the double standard. Why do we not have the righteous indignation that we should against these men who hurt women? Aren't they raised better? Are men really that primitive, that they can't control those urges, can't master their feelings, can't be human beings long enough to leave someone else alone? If that is the case, shouldn't they all be locked up somewhere, in zoos like animals? Doesn't the problem rest with them?

Why don't we ask those questions? Can someone tell me that? What is it always that poor missing girl's fault?

I consider myself a feminist, and as a feminist, this reaction angers me. If a young man was out running around shirtless at 1 a.m. and he went missing, would we ask the same questions? What was he doing out in the street without a shirt? Why was he drunk at 1 a.m.? No, we wouldn't ask these questions. They wouldn't even come up in the conversation.

There are facts, sure. The latest missing girl was wearing a crop top at a party. She'd been drinking. She was walking alone. But do those facts mean that she is to blame if she was assaulted, kidnapped, or killed?

Why do we blame the victim? In any assault, absolutely any assault, whether it's a mugging or a rape, a kidnapping or murder, it is not the victim's fault. The person at fault is the one who committed the crime. Always. Every time. Regardless of circumstance. Nobody "asks for it" or deserves it.

Just because I am female doesn't make it my responsibility to ensure I live. That is a societal responsibility. But I have a young niece to worry about, and she needs to be taught to be careful, to be alert, to be, I'm afraid, fearful of the world around her.

Because the truth of the matter is everyone make a mistake, and there is always some jerk out there waiting to take advantage of someone he considers "less than." And in today's world, in today's political climate, a lot of men think of women as "less than."

The media and the political arena have ensured that women are nothing more than political toys and they persist in dehumanizing females, from the abstract way they discuss our "lady parts" in the political sphere to the way they sell automobiles on television.

In an ideal world, no woman would have to worry about rape or murder. But we don’t live in that world. The best we can do is try to create that world. But does anyone really want that world?

Wouldn't there be more outspokenness, more objections, more efforts, if this type of activity were really unacceptable?

I am disgusted. I'm fed up with the media, with politics, with the whole damn patriarchal system that insists that I am less than human because I don't have a penis. What I want to know is, are you disgusted, too?

Monday, September 22, 2014

Game Camera Capture


Sunday, September 21, 2014

Sunday Stealing: AlphaBetty 2

From Sunday Stealing

AlphaBetty 2

A) What does the last text you sent say? And to whom?

A. I don't text.

B) What does the last text you received say? And from whom?


A. See above answer.

C) What time do you wake up most mornings?


A. Between 6 and 6:30 a.m.

D) Are you afraid of walking alone at night?


A. Depends on where I am.

E) What do you do to relax at the end of a stressful day?


A. Read a good book whilst sitting next to my husband while he flicks the remote.

F) Where did your last kiss take place and with whom?


A. This morning as I was in bed still asleep and my husband was leaving for work.

G) Do/did you get into trouble a lot at school?


A. I was an A student but occasionally had a misstep.

H) Do you enjoy your job? If unemployed, are you content being so?


A. I am unofficially retired. I still do some freelance writing but that has been limited in the past year by health issues. I would like to feel well enough to do more work.

I) Do you often pick up on double entendres and innuendos?


A. Sometimes.

J) Have you ever been offered drugs but declined?


A. Yes.

K) Have you ever met someone who has completely altered your way of thinking?


A. Not completely altered my thinking but perhaps sent me thinking in directions I may not have otherwise gone. (That is a bad sentence but I am too lazy to try to rewrite it. But my inner editor is gagging.)

L) Have you ever been offered drugs and accepted?


A. Nyah Nyah, I'm not gonna tell.

M) Tell us something weird that turns you on.


A.  Nyah Nyah, I'm not gonna tell.

N) When did someone last admit romantic or sexual feelings for you? Was the feeling mutual?


A. I'm married. I have been in a committed relationship for 31 years. What do you think?

O) What is something you have given a lot of thought to lately?


A. How to become a more healthy person.

P) When did you last swallow your beliefs to avoid an argument or confrontation?


A. Practically every time I leave my house.

Q) Do you usually initiate hugs?


A. Yes.

R) Are you a very affectionate person?


A. Not really, but I like hugs.

S) Can you roll your own cigarettes?


A. I don't smoke.

T) What are you looking forward to?


A. Nothing, really. I have physical therapy scheduled for the next month and I am probably going to have to have a filling removed and replaced. Yippee.

U) Do you have any tattoos. Do you want any/more?


A. No and no.

V) Are you mentally strong?


A. I suspect I am stronger than I think I am.

W) Are you physically strong?


A. Not really, no.

X) Do you think you’re a good person?


A. I try to be.

Y) Name one thing you wish you could change about your life right now.


A. I would like to be healthy.

Z) What do you usually eat for breakfast?


A. Scrambled eggs and a banana.

Saturday, September 20, 2014

Saturday 9: Margaritaville

Saturday 9: Margaritaville (1977)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) In this song Jimmy sings of "booze in the blender." What do you prepare in your blender?

A. Mostly protein drinks. Occasionally I switch it out with the food processor tool and chop up chicken meat for chicken salad. I'm a real go-getter with the blender, I am.


2) As the song opens, Jimmy is sitting on his front porch swing. Describe the front porch of the building you're in right now.

A. Our house has a recessed front porch, with a cement floor. It is not very large and we don't use it.

3) Jimmy sings of being able to smell boiling shrimp. Do you prefer your shrimp boiled, glazed or breaded?

A. I used to love shrimp anyway it was prepared, but I have had to stop eating it. It gives me a terribly swollen sore throat. It's not exactly an allergy but it makes me very ill. This is something that just started about three years ago. Actually it started right after they began allowing shrimp back onto the market after the BP spill. My theory is I'm not actually reacting to the shrimp, I'm reacting the toxins in the shrimp from the oil spill. But what do I know.

4) During the song, he mentions his flip flops. Have you put your flip flops and sandals away till spring? Or is it still warm enough to wear them?

A. I never wear either. I wear sneakers all year long.

5) Jimmy Buffett had hoped this song would be recorded by Elvis Presley, but The King died before he could perform it. What's the first Elvis song that comes to mind?

A. I Can't Help Falling in Love With You.

6) Buffett fans are known as Parrotheads. Concert attire for a well-dressed Parrothead often includes a Hawaiian shirt and a foam fin hat. What will you be wearing tonight?

A. A tie-dyed T-shirt, blue jeans, and sneakers.


7) Loyal Parrotheads paid between $500 and $5000 to see Mr. Buffet at a fundraiser for Barack Obama's 2012 Presidential campaign. What's the most you would pay for a concert ticket?

A. I think we paid about $100 to see Elton John perform some years back. I can't remember what my husband paid to see the Rolling Stones. I guess if you want to see a concert bad enough, you will pay any price. However, there isn't anyone I want to see bad enough to pay more than $100 for a ticket.

8) Jimmy is an outspoken environmentalist and supports causes like ocean conservation, saving the manatees and expanding the Dallas Zoo. What steps do you take to help save the planet?

A. I recycle paper and plastics. My husband and I last year (along with a grant from the government) spent about $70,000 to fence the cattle out of the streams and the pond and drill a well. This created a buffer zone so that the water downstream, which flows in the City of Roanoke's water basin, would not have our cow poop in it. I've also written a number of articles about preservation and conservation over the years.

9) Uh-oh. When Jimmy and the Coral Reefers played in Wisconsin this past August, more than two dozen concertgoers got tickets for possession of marijuana and drug paraphernalia. Do you believe pot should be legalized?


A. I believe most drugs should be legalized, and we should set up clinics to help the addicts, not put them in prison. If we worked as hard at creating a better society as we do at making millionaires and having wars, we'd have a completely different world where maybe folks wouldn't need to run away from their troubles so much.


Thursday, September 18, 2014

Thursday Thirteen

1. According to a Buzzfeed test, I'm a hardcover book. At first I was disappointed that this didn't point toward a genre, but then I thought, hmm. Let's analyze this. The other possible answers would be a paperback or an e-book, I suppose. But I'm hardcover. Hard core? Hard up? Hard ... well, I won't go there. Hardcover book. Good books come out first in hardcover. First edition! I'm a first edition!

2. Hardcover books are more expensive, now running something like $28.99. I can remember when hardcover books cost about what paperback books do now. I'm not sure why they went up in price. I did a search but all that came back were articles on the rising costs of textbooks, which I did not read. Textbooks are incredibly costly, though, so maybe someone should investigate.

3. Not only am I a hardcover book, but my karma is "above average," according to yet another Buzzfeed test. I am "the good egg." I have always tried to be the good egg but I fear that in today's society being the good egg means you're always on the bottom.

4. Speaking of eggs, one of my favorite jokes when I was young went something like this: A southerner was listening in on a conversation and she heard a northerner talking about a "nominal egg." For a long time she couldn't figure out what kind of egg that was, and then realized the northerner was saying "an arm and a leg," as in, something was overpriced. For a long time I called overpriced stuff a "nominal egg" and nobody knew what I was talking about.

5. Buzzfeed also says I am a "Type A" personality. "You are competitive, goal driven, and basically get shit done. You like to do things the right way because it’s the only way. Being type-A is a blessing; it takes a lot of work to be the best." I am not sure I agree with this one, as I am not competitive or goal driven. I do, however, like to do things right. I've only ever heard of Type A personalities. What are the other types?

6. Apparently Type B is the other type. "People with Type B personality by definition generally live at a lower stress level and typically work steadily, enjoying achievement but not becoming stressed when they do not achieve. They may be creative and enjoy exploring ideas and concepts. They are often reflective." This sounds more like me except I am always highly stressed. Maybe I'm a Type A and a Half.

7. My next $100 should go to charity, Buzzfeed says. I'm a kind and generous person. At least there is some consistency to these silly tests.

8. I do donate to a number of charities. Most are local. I would donate more to national charities but they then send out so much BS in the mail that I figure anything I donate goes to mailing list costs. I would rather the money actually be put to good use for something, like keeping a local historic home from falling down, or helping a homeless person in Roanoke get back on her feet.

9. I also have a crush on someone but never talk about it, according to Buzzfeed. Um. No. I am in love with my husband and never think about anyone else. And believe me, after 31 years of marriage, if something happens to him, I ain't doing that again.

10. However, I would like to find my passion. I think that is something I am missing. I am passionate about writing but not necessarily about what I write. I have been looking for the story that makes me want to get up and write it every day. So far I haven't found it.

11. But maybe my passion is really learning - Buzzfeed says I should go back to school as my next major move. "School is the best. You don’t have to wake up early and all you have to worry about is filling your brain. Plus, it’s maybe what you need if you’ve been thinking about a career change."

12. Actually, I really love college and learning, and wouldn't mind going back to school. It is, however, expensive and since I have no actual goal in mind, other than wandering the halls of learning, I can't really justify a return to education, unless I try teaching again.

13. All in all, I would say these quizzes are useless, but I do them sometimes because they make me think. When the answers are unexpected, I see it as an opportunity to gain new perspective. It's rather like reading your horoscope or throwing out a Tarot card - there is no right or wrong, but it's all in how you play the game and take the answer.

Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; there is a list here. I've been playing for a while and this is my 361st time to do a list of 13 on a Thursday.

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Just a Bird


So the doctors on Monday, when I had an endoscopy, said to me, "Oh, it couldn't have been the anesthesia we're giving you that gave you nightmares after the last one." The last one being the one I had October 31, 2013.

And for the next three weeks I had the kind of dreams that make you wake up screaming and shaking.

But it was the same drug, propofol, which is now in the news again today because it is the same drug that allegedly killed Michael Jackson, and now there's some talk that Joan Rivers was under its influence, having an endoscopy herself, when she went into cardiac arrest.

It was no surprise to me Monday night when James woke me up as I was screaming. The dream was not necessarily a nightmare - apparently I was having a vocabulary crisis, needing someone to look something up, as best I can recall.

But last night - oh my. Last night I woke myself up screaming "Don't leave me!" and then sat there, shaking and sweating and trying very hard to find my way back to the world, after falling down the rabbit hole and into someplace Alice might have found familiar. It was a very long time before I was able to go back to sleep, and the dream and the drugged feeling has hung with me all morning.

I hate it when doctors disregard what I tell them, as if because it's not common, it can't be true. I have never fit the pattern of "normal" in health care and this doesn't make me weird, just unique. But that uniqueness shouldn't be discounted.

I will not allow this drug to enter my system again, if I can help it. Given that it's apparently ended the life of two celebrities, maybe everyone should rethink its use.

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

The After Life

I have always had a weird fascination/obsession with death. It's so mysterious, the hereafter. Everyone has their own ideas about what it is - harps playing, a burning hole, a green garden, turning into a ghost, reincarnation, "beam me up, Scottie," a meeting with the worms and inevitable decay, or whatever.

The thing is, you can't really know. People of certain faiths believe and "know" they are right, but that is different from logically, physically actually knowing. I know that behind me is another room in my house, because I built the house and I've been in the room. But in someone else's house, I might believe there is a room behind me - and be completely wrong.

Having not yet died, I can't say what is in the next room.

But I am not here to argue the merits of after lives and whose ideas may be right or wrong. As I am writing this, I am facing another outpatient surgical procedure and I am terrified, so I am simply ruminating on what could be an outcome of the procedure.

And now it's the day after that outpatient surgery, and I survived. Modern medicine is amazing but it still doesn't always make you calm! Sometimes it scares you into, well, I don't know. A different frame of mind, for sure.

The good news is my multiple ulcers have healed and I am not longer bleeding from the inside out. The bad news is there is still some redness and inflammation in my tummy and so I have been told to stay on my medication.

Steps in the right direction, though.

Still don't know about the after life. Maybe it's like being put to sleep with medication, only you never wake up again. I have trouble with the images of harps and things in the Christian heaven; seems kind of boring. I also have issues with Hell, because I don't believe a loving god would create an eternal hell. What kind of forgiveness is that, to just send folks off to burn until the sun poofs out? That's pretty mean-spirited, if you ask me.

And ghosts? Well, I've actually seen a few things that make think that, at the least, there are energies that manifest themselves that we don't yet understand. I don't know if they are ghosts from the past or simply planes of being that we cannot experience. My ghost tales date back to my childhood and into my adulthood. We stayed at a house in West Virginia that belonged to a relatives that apparently was haunted - pipes clanking, spigots turning off and on, banjos playing at random in the night. I experienced that.

About 15 years ago now I was in a very late Board of Supervisors meeting in Craig County at the courthouse. This was before they were to begin renovating the building. As I sat there taking notes, a man dressed in a blue gray uniform, looking tattered and worn, simply walked up the aisle and passed in front of the supervisors, and then went into the next room. I looked around to see if anyone else saw anything, but no one appeared to see anything out of the ordinary. I knew it was a ghost. I thought it was a Civil War soldier.

Ten years ago I was driving to Fincastle in the middle of the day, and I looked over at a subdivision just outside of town. There sat a band of Native Americans on horses, surrounding a white guy. At the time I had a little part-time job in town and I was so shook up I could hardly work that afternoon.

I don't know about reincarnation, but when I was very small, I started telling my mother about the beheading of Mary Queen of Scotts, and talking about Scottish castles and tombstones. It scared my mother so much that she forbade me to talk of it anymore. I have a bit of Scottish ancestry in my blood; who knows what comes down through our genes. Or maybe I was a scullery maid in the 1500s.

My own personal thoughts on dying are this: your body turns into worm food, but your spirit moves into a different place, another plane of being. Maybe you soar among the stars. Maybe you do go to heaven and play harps. Maybe you float around until you come back as something else, a rabbit or another person or what-have-you. I don't know. I am - sometimes - envious of those folks with that "knowing" that's really faith, their belief in something that logic dictates they can't really know. They don't question and I suppose that brings them comfort. I question everything and always have, for as long as I can remember.

Why, when I was 10 my goal was to grow up and fly in airplanes until one of them disappeared over the Bermuda Triangle so I could find out what happened to them! One night when I was 12, I participated in a world-wide UFO watch, spending the night out in the field gazing at the skies until I fell asleep (this was organized back then, in the 1970s, through, I think, The National Enquirer, which my mother read and then passed on to me since I read everything put in front of me.)

There is so much we don't know about the world. I believe we only function in a certain sphere and the rest we only infrequently tap into. That other place can be reached by prayer, by certain alternative medicines (acupuncture and Reiki, for example), meditation, and things we've not even thought of.

I've felt it occasionally, that different place, but not long enough to understand it or even begin to do anything more than acknowledge it. I think humanity could, if it wanted, reach an entirely different state of being, one that dealt not only with the physical but also the abstract and the metaphysical, in a loving and beautiful way. Some religions attempt this, I think, but most fail because they are human constructs and as such give in to the greater pressures of society, mainly money and politics.

Anyway, enough of my confession of weirdness for the day. Moving along, nothing more to see here . . .

Monday, September 15, 2014

Author's Talk: Beth Macy on Factory Man

Saturday my husband and I went to Barnes and Noble, Tanglewood, in Roanoke, to hear Beth Macy talk about her book, Factory Man.

Beth and I attended Hollins College at the same time, though she was in the master's program while I was an undergraduate. We had several courses together, though.
 
Beth went on to become the star reporter for The Roanoke Times. She's had an inspirational career and her writing has won her awards, acclaim, and fame.
 

 
Author Beth Macy
 
 
 
My husband is the man in black. He hung out at the rear of the crowd.
 
 
Beth reading from her work.
 
 
Gesturing during discussion.
 
 
At some point I became entranced by the number of post-its Beth had placed in her book.
 
 
For some reason, I think this picture, cropped though it is, is splendid. It is the perfect example of reading and writing.
 
 
 
Beth's autograph and note to me. The Write!!! came from my husband, who suggested she should add it to the page.
 
 

This is the book. It's nonfiction ostensibly about a man who built furniture in a little town called Bassett, which is just down the road a piece. It is, I think, much more than that. It is, instead, a commentary on the way the powers that be pay no attention to how their actions impact those upon whose backs they stand.
 
I'll let you know more about that when I've actually read it.
 

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Sunday Stealing: Celebrity Obsession

From Sunday Stealing

Celebrity Obsession

01. First Celebrity Obsession or Crush

A. Davy Cassidy on the Partridge Family.
 
02. Favorite Celebrity Encounter

A. Can't say that I've had one, except for politicians.
 
03. Most Cherished Celebrity Obsession

A. I'm not sure what that means, but I cherished the online relationships I made when I was involved with the Xena Fandom. That was early in the life of the Internet.

04. A celebrity you’d love to hang out with

A. Tom Hanks. He seems so down to earth and intelligent, and his production company does some really great work.

05. A celebrity you’d love to sit down and have a conversation with

A. Well, for me, hanging out means the same as sitting down and having a conversation, so I suppose Tom Hanks again.

06. An artist you’d like to see live

A. Bill Maher.
 
07. A celebrity you respect purely for talent

A. Jim Parsons.
 
08. A celebrity you feel you’d be good friends with

A. Meryl Streep
 
09. A celebrity you dislike that others seem to love

A. Adam Sandler
 
10. A celebrity you respect for what they’ve been through in life

A. Sandra Bullock
 
11. A celebrity you share a birthday with

A. Barbara Bush. (I had to look that up.)
 
12. A celebrity you find annoying

A. Adam Sandler
 
13. Favorite under-20 celebrity

A. I don't know of any.
 
14. Favorite over-60 celebrity

A. Betty White.
 
15. The celebrity “fandom” that means most to you

A. The Xena fandom, which I suppose doesn't really exist anymore. I've never been as involved with a show as I was with that one.

Saturday, September 13, 2014

Saturday 9: Hey, Soul Sister

Saturday 9: Hey, Soul Sister(because John suggested Train)

If you're not familiar with today's song, you can hear it here.

1) The video was shot on a street corner in Echo Park in central Los Angeles. If you saw a film crew making a video in your neighborhood, would you stop to watch? Or would you just keep walking?

A. Oh, I'd have to stop and watch. My goodness. That happens so infrequently here in the sticks it would make the newspaper.

2) The singer says he remembers his girl in every dream he dreams. Do you remember if you dreamed last night?

A. I don't recall the dream but I know I dreamed.

3) The band Train is from San Francisco. Have you ever visited The City by the Bay?

A. I visited it when I was 12 years old. Old enough to vaguely remember that I was there but not old enough to be good with details.

4) Lead singer Pat Monahan got his start in a Led Zeppelin cover band. Can you name a Led Zeppelin song?

A. Stairway to Heaven. It's really the only one I know.

5) In doing research for this week's Saturday 9, Crazy Sam discovered a publication called Trains, The Magazine of Railroading. What's the last magazine you flipped through?

A. The AARP magazine. Yes, I am old. 

6) Do you consider yourself a leader or a follower?

A. I prefer following but frequently end up leading.

7) Scholars tell us that "To be or not to be" is Shakespeare's most quoted line. Give us another one.

A. Out, damned spot! Out, I say!

8) How do you listen to music on the go? Car radio? CD changer? iPod/mp3 player? Your phone?

A. I listen to the car radio, but I have some songs on my Kindle and listen to those occasionally.

9) Are you a convincing liar?

A. I don't think so.

Friday, September 12, 2014

Ephemeral Quality

One of the things that bothers me the most about the Internet is how easily things disappear.

Websites vanish. Blogs vanish. People vanish. Often there is no warning when a blog is no longer updated or it is removed. One day it's there, the next day it isn't.

You never know why. Maybe the website was business related, and they went bankrupt. Maybe the person running the blog became ill. Maybe someone simply forgot to pay the renewal bill - that happens frequently, I think. People "unfriend" one another on Facebook or decide certain social media isn't for them, and then they aren't there.

Sometimes you notice. Sometimes you don't. On Facebook I think it could be a while before I notice someone has "unfriended" me, depending on who it is. Family members I notice right away, of course.

Recently a friend of mine removed her blog. It had been up about as long as mine but she posted more frequently and had more entries. I actually met her through blogging and consider her a personal "real life" friend now. I was surprised when she suddenly took down her blog. I haven't asked her about it, but I have wondered what caused her to hit that "delete" button. Maybe she hit her limit on photos and didn't want to pay the storage fee that Google demands after a certain point. Maybe she simply tired of it. It is her business and if she wanted me to know I suppose she would have told me. But I missed her blog immediately, along with the wealth of information she had on it - lots of interesting links to how to make your blog better, things like that. Being somewhat lazy, I used her list of blogs on occasion, too. I've lost those folks, as well, because in most instances I hadn't followed them or otherwise hooked up with them.

Once I was on a group list and felt like I knew all of the members intimately. One of them committed suicide not long after we'd actually spoken on the phone. I was as devastated as if she lived right next door.

And now something I've feared for a while has happened. I've lost contact with someone I consider a close friend - though we've never met in person or even spoken a single word to one another. What we have done is exchanged more than 10,000 emails over the last 13 years. Usually we write each other twice a day, morning and night. We also exchange Christmas presents and birthday gifts, usually courtesy of Amazon.

My friend, who lives in England, had been complaining in her emails of not feeling well and on Monday had gone for an EKG and blood work. But they sent her home, and I thought that a good sign that they thought there was nothing seriously wrong.

She hasn't written since Thursday morning. Twenty-four hours is not a long time, really, but given the circumstances I am concerned. If I haven't heard anything out of her tomorrow, I will try to call her, though I suspect that won't do much good if she is ill and in the hospital. I do have a phone number for her, but she lives alone. She has a sister but I don't have contact information for her. *Update* I heard from her sister; my friend has had a heart attack and is in the hospital.

Isn't odd how we form these friendships, so nebulous and ephemeral, yet so solid and real? I do that with blogs I read, too. Does it mean we love too much? Can you love too much? Care too much?

I don't know. I tend to give my all when I care about someone. It means, I think, that I have a chronically broken heart, but I am not sure that is a bad thing.

The internet - so personal, yet so detached. What an oddity it is.

Thursday, September 11, 2014

Thursday Thirteen #360

I am the wife of a firefighter. These people go out every day and risk their lives to save people. When you are running away in fear of your life, these people are running in to help you. Whether it's flood, tornado, fire, hurricane, downed powerlines, or a sore toe, when you call 911, these people come.

Today's Thursday Thirteen offers up some numbers. I think you'll see why I have given you these today.  The numbers pertain to the United States and the first sets of numbers were tabulated in 2009.


1. 3,010 - the number of deaths by fire

2. 1,348,500 - the number of fires


3. 17,050 - the number of civilian injuries caused by fire


4. $12,531,000,000 ($12.5 billion) - property loss by fire

5. 26,534,000 - the total number of calls to 911 for assistance

6. 50 - the average weight of a firefighter's gear (helmet, coat, boots, gloves)

7. 25 - the average weight of a firefighters SCBA gear (oxygen, breathing mask)

8. 75 - the average weight in pounds that a firefighter carries when rushing into a burning building




9. 24 - 30 - the average length in feet of a fire truck

10.  107 - the number of floors in New York City's World Trade Center's largest building



11. 8:50 a.m. on 09/11/2001 - the time an incident command was established by firefighters after a plane flew into the World Trade Center building. The first plane hit at 8:45 a.m.; firefighters were on the scene and entering the building within five minutes of the attack.

12. 9:59 a.m. on 09/11/2001 - the time the first building collapsed at the World Trade Center

13. 343 - the number of firefighters who lost their lives when both towers collapsed on 09/11/2001.

On the anniversary of the 09/11/2001 attack on New York City, please remember the sacrifices of these brave men and women.

Thank you.





Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; there is a list here. I've been playing for a while and this is my 360th time to do a list of 13 on a Thursday.

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Hiding


This squirrel decided it could hide from me if it flattened itself out against the branch and blend in, chameleon-like, with the tree.

Tuesday, September 09, 2014

Toady Went A-Courtin'


On that late August morning when we saw the bear in the backyard, I went outside when the furry critter crossed over into the meadow to see if I could get a better photo.

I nearly stepped on Mr. Toad as he was making his way back to Toad Hall. Apparently he'd had a rough night out and had lost his fine clothes. There was no sign of Mole or Rat, or the fine motorcar that Toad was known for (Wind in the Willows reference for the non-readers out there).

Monday, September 08, 2014

Like A Statue



The buck, standing about 50 yards away, spotted me when I slipped around the corner of the house to get these shots. We stood there eyeing one another for several minutes.

I stood still as a statue, except for my finger clicking the camera and occasional adjustment of the tripod. Slow movements from me.

Eventually, he stamped a hoof at me, to try to get me to move. I stayed steady. Unnerved, he turned and moved back into the trees, though he did not lift his tail in that flag of warning. Instead he simply crossed over the hill, out of sight.

The doe behind him never saw me.

Sunday, September 07, 2014

I Lose That Discussion Every Time

From Sunday Stealing

Alphabetty


A. What are your favorite smells?

Ah, the aroma of chocolate chip cookies baking in the oven, the smell in the air as the rain starts over the mountain and down the valley, and the scent of my fellow immediately after a shower.
 
B. Can you go a whole day without caffeine?

I go every day without caffeine, except for whatever might be in chocolate.
 
C. Who knows more about you than anyone else?

My significant other, I suppose.
 
D. What song did you last listen to?

Here's to you, Mrs. Robinson, Jesus loves you more than you could know, whoa whoa whoa!
 
E. Do you have a crush on anybody?

I've been married for almost 31 years. What do you think? My husband would say I have a crush on Legolas as played by Orlando Bloom in Lord of the Ring and Hobbit movies. I don't much care for Bloom in other movies, though.
 
F. Do you like The Beatles?

She loves you, yeah yeah yeah!
 
G. If you could choose one color to wear for a whole year, what color would you choose?

Blue.
 
H. Do you cook often?

Every darned day, well, almost.
 
I. What was the last film you watched? Did you like it?

The Replacements, with Keanu Reeves. It is one of my husband's favorites. I like parts of it okay.
  
J. Can you sew?

I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan! And I can put a button on your G-D pants!
 
K. What is your favorite fruit?

I like fruit cocktail with cherries in it. I know that is not a specific fruit but that is my favorite.
 
L. Are you health conscious?

I'm overweight and on a bazillion drugs. I try very hard to be health conscious but I was raised on bologna and mayo sandwiches and exercise consisted of feeding the chickens, not jogging down the lane. I'm over 50 and I still can't get the hang of taking care of myself.
 
M. What is your middle initial?

One of these letters of the alphabet.
 
N. Do you curse a lot?

You're G-D right I do, you @$@#$%#@@@#$%%$.
 
O. When was the last time you had a beer?

About 30 years ago. I might swear like a sailor, but I don't drink alcohol.

P. Are you pro sports fan?

No. I like the Olympics. Does that count?
 
Q. Is there a certain food you often crave for no reason?

Chocolate. Chocolate. Chocolate.
 
R. What was the last book you purchased?

Walden, by Henry David Thoreau. I found it for free and downloaded it on the Kindle.
 
S. Where was your last vacation?

Myrtle Beach, South Carolina (2 years ago now)
 
T. Do you share your fries?

I don't eat fries very often, but I would share if I were asked politely.
 
U. Did you ever play seven minutes in heaven?

I don't even know what that is.
 
V. Girls, when was the last time you went out without a bra? Guys, when was the last time you went shirtless in public?

Recently, and that's as specific as I shall get.

W.  What's the longest you've gone "unplugged"?

The first 35 years of my life.

X. Have you ever broken a bone? If so, how did it happen?

I fell in the basement at my grandmother's house and broke my wrist when I was 11. I cracked a rib when I fell off a pony at the age of 9. In my 30s, I broke a bone in my ankle when I stepped in a hole in the field.
 
Y. How do you like your eggs?

Scrambled.
 
Z. What was your last argument about and with whom?

With my husband over something that I've been asking him to fix for the last 25 years. It's still broken so obviously I lose that discussion every time. It's what old married people do.