Last night I dreamed a friend chased me out of her life. I woke up distressed and wondering what I had done wrong. This friend and I are not arguing or fighting so I am not sure where this came from.
Earlier this today, just before lunch, I fell into a kind of stupor while I sat the computer. I think I began dreaming almost as soon as my eyes closed, though I am not sure I was asleep.
My daydream went something like this:
I had been missing from the Hollins campus for several years - a very long time. But I am making a return - a triumphant one. I am svelte and small, not a big lump flopping along like I am now. I have on an assembly of stylish but artistically ecclectic clothing (not sure exactly what that looks like, but it isn't Alfred Dunner brand). My hair is perfect.
I am breathing regularly, not asthmatically. I have a healthy glow about me. I am fit and full of energy. I am not old, my hair does not have gray in it. My face is not wrinkled.
I am also the author of three - count 'em! - three books.
The campus embraces me with open arms. "You look so different!" gasps one of my old professors as she hugs me. People begin cheering me. Someone slaps me on the back.
I stop the dream.
I opened my eyes to stare at the blinking cursor in my word processing program. The words are tepid, silly, unworthy.
I hit delete, and they are gone.