The smell of death

Sometimes things in the country happen that are very sad.

Yesterday as I headed out, I noticed a small buck deer lying in the field. He seemed to be watching traffic.

I passed my husband in his truck a few thousand yards away and we stopped to chat before parting ways. He noted the deer in the field, too.

Later he called to tell me that he had driven his truck up in the field to check on the deer. When it didn't move, he investigated further.

The poor little deer had been hit by a car. His back legs or back was broken and he could not move.

In another decade, my husband might have come home and loaded his gun and put the poor creature out of his misery, but in the New America, the land of the police state and lack of common sense, where everyone is just waiting to pounce on you and put a picture of you on Youtube, you don't perform acts of compassion. You call Animal Control and let them do it because otherwise you could be charged with a misdemeanor and heavily fined if not jailed.

My husband called me to tell me the poor deer was not just watching traffic after all. He described the scene to me and I felt shivers up my spine.

When I drove home and I passed the spot where the deer had lain, I was sure I could smell death.

It definitely colored the day.

Thursday Thirteen

Here are 13 things you would see in my yard this morning:

1. Another partially eaten bar of Irish Spring bath soap, courtesy of some critter that is supposed to find it repulsive. Instead the creature now has lovely smelling breath. This is the third bar that has been gnawed upon.



This was the second bar, not the third, to have been eaten.


2. Six-inch high sunflowers. I planted these a few weeks ago because my zinnias and marigolds had short lives, courtesy of a rabbit. I put a fence around them. I am hoping for bright sunny flowers before frost.



These are zinnias that were coming up well before the rabbit decided it needed a salad.


3. A rabbit. There he goes, hopping through the front yard. The other day I bought a box of Trix, the first time I'd purchased that cereal in years, and found the rabbit sitting on the front porch by the door. Silly rabbit.




4. Four blue spruce trees. We planted these trees about 20 years ago. My mother took us and showed us some trees we could dig up. After we'd put three in the truck, she said, "Better hurry, this isn't part of the property we just bought." We thought it was, of course, and were surprised to find out otherwise. Our stolen trees have prospered.



Birds like the blue spruce.



5. A single blueberry. Last year we planted a small Concord grape vine and two blueberry bushes. One of the blueberry bushes died. The living one has produced a single blueberry.

6. Doves. I hear them cooing in the mornings. It is a comforting sound.

7. A ripening tomato. Like many local gardeners, I've been fighting blight/fungus on my tomato plants, but I do have some on the vine. One is starting to turn a little yellow. I can hardly wait for it to turn red.

8. Green beans. My beans, which are of varying variety, are doing very well. My husband planted the beans for me and didn't mark which ones were the pole beans; they should have been staked out better than they were. They nearly throttled a tomato plant with their fast-growing tendrils before I rescued it with some wire and retraining of the vines.

9. Queen Ann's Lace. This weed grows in the fields all around the yard. This is actually the tops of a wild carrot, which I did not know until I looked it up a while ago. Folk remedies use this for contraception. Learn something new every day.

10. Clover. Our yard is not exactly the greatest. We have a lot of weeds, clover and wire grass.

11. Bees. I have seen a few honey bees this year, for which I was grateful given that last year all the talk was about honey bees dying out.

12. Forsythia bushes. These are great in the spring, when they burst out in yellow. In summer they are a nice shade of green. Ours are overgrown along the driveway. My husband leaves them like that so that in winter they will serve as a snow break to keep blowing snow from the road. They do that job fairly well.



Forsythia in the spring is one of my favorite sites.

13. Me! You'd see me out there, waving at you as you pull up the drive! Then I'd bring you inside and we'd have a cup of tea.



Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; you can learn more about it here. My other Thursday Thirteens are here. This is number101!

26 States

Put an X by the states you have been to. The average is 8; how do you match up?

Should you choose to play, here's what you do:

Copy this. Delete my Xs and add your own. Change the number at the top, and add your title. Send it on to others if you want. I'm not going to do that but if anyone does this please feel free to let me know in the comments.

Just for fun, put an O beside the states where you have lived.

Airports don't count!

Alabama
Alaska
Arizona x
Arkansas
California x
Colorado x
Connecticut
Delaware x
District of Columbia x
Florida x
Georgia x
Hawaii
Idaho
Illinois
Indiana
Iowa
Kansas x
Kentucky x
Louisiana
Maine
Maryland x
Massachusetts
Michigan
Minnesota
Mississippi
Missouri
Montana
Nebraska x
Nevada x
New Hampshire
New Jersey x
New Mexico x
New York x
North Carolina x
North Dakota
Ohio x
Oklahoma x
Oregon
Pennsylvania x
Rhode Island
South Carolina x
South Dakota
Tennessee x
Texas x
Utah x
Vermont
Virginia O
Washington
West Virginia x
Wisconsin
Wyoming x

Most of my traveling was done when I was much younger; I haven't been out of Virginia in several years, and I haven't been beyond South Carolina since 1993.

I need to get out more.

I am like a deer

Saturday as I headed to my compost pile, I thought I heard a noise in the woods.

After dumping my items in, I ventured down into the woods.

Something slunk before me and vanished into weeds.

A black cat, I thought.

To my left I saw movement, and then the noise like the rusty sound of a door opening. A turkey's head bobbed and weaved. The black animal had disturbed a hen.

She moved back and forth a while as I stood still, watching. Then she too vanished.

I moved forward a few more steps, now to investigate the wine berry bushes.

To my right I heard a rustling noise. I paused. Suddenly there was a snort, followed by a flash of brown and white. A deer dashed away.

Moving on, I discovered a rounded spot in the leaves up against a fallen log. Obviously, a deer had lain there and I had disturbed it.

This morning as I sat picking quarts of green beans, I listened to the songs of birds. They chattered, sang and serenaded me while I contemplated life's turmoils and thought about how best to spend the rest of my day, week and life. Heady thoughts for 8 a.m.

By 11 a.m. I had picked 6 quarts of beans, cleaned the oven, cleaned 8 sets of mini-blinds, washed and put away two loads of laundry, and spent time on the phone with important folks like a mentor, a lawyer and my accountant.

Here is it now, noon as I write this. The sun is burning hot and I'm already pleasantly tired. The day still beckons me toward other activities. My mind still churns and wanders.

I am curious about everything and scared of it all.

I feel great empathy for the deer.

A Writing Group?

I am seeking a few folks interested in writing in good ol' Botetourt County so we can start a little writing group.

Fellow bloggers might have some interest in the topic, so I'm tossing it out there.

The goal would be to work on our writing projects that aren't blogs, of course. Fiction. Nonfiction. Short stories, novels. Poetry. Whatever.

Critiquing would be on the project (not the person) and hopefully would be helpful on multiple levels.

To my knowledge there is no writing group in this county aside from the newly-formed Poet's Corner that is meeting at the Botetourt libraries quarterly. I attended their first meeting and it was fine, and I will go again, but I think quarterly is too far apart for the meetings. They should be monthly.

Personally, I would like to meet every other week or so.

There is a writing group that meets in Roanoke called Valley Writers. It is part of the Virginia Writers Club.

In the 1980s (or thereabouts) I tried to attend their meetings but found it so political and full of bickering that it was an insufferable experience. I understand this is different now. For one thing, I know Becky at Peevish Pen is the Vice President, and she is in the Roanoke Valley Pen Women with me, so it can't be all bad.

Sometimes I think about going. But, I find driving to Roanoke at night to be something I am not eager to do. I have trouble with my night vision sometimes and the older I get the less inclined I am to make the trip.

So I was thinking something a little closer to home might be a good idea.

Does anyone have any thoughts on this?

Fincastle Fireworks

Every year, Willie Simmons, along with his wife Brenda and an assortment of helpers, give the Town of Fincastle a fireworks display for the Fourth of July.



The Town of Fincastle handles donations for the fireworks. At the event, they pass a hat and every year around May a call goes out for additional donations.



Donations pay the entire cost of the display.






This year's display was exceptional. For a small community, they do a bang-up job celebrating the founding of this great nation. This event definitely deserves applause.

HAPPY JULY 4!

Thursday Thirteen: No. 100

I can't believe this is my 100th Thursday Thirteen! That's a lot of weeks to come up with 13 things about many different topics. Whew!

To celebrate, I'm going to list 13 things about my favorite color.

1. The sky. Honestly, now, can there be anything more lovely than the atmosphere above our good Earth?



2. The Blue Ridge Mountains (they're not REALLY blue but they look like it, or used to, before pollution began distorting that wonderful tint of oxygen from the trees).




3. Jeans. It is really hard to beat denim.

4. My husband's eyes. Definitely one of my favorites.


(My husband at the beach beneath a blue umbrella, with his eyes hidden.)


5. The newest M&M, at least in the M&M dark chocolates that I eat occasionally. It tastes just like the other colors, by the way.

6. Cotton candy. I haven't had any good blue cotton candy in a very long time. I must get to the Buchanan Carnival and rectify that.

7. Blue iris. I love the blue iris, but unfortunately I don't have any in the yard blooming any more. I did but they either died out or were choked out by the yellow iris.



(This iris was at The Fincastle Library.)

8. My desktop. I keep a solid blue background on my desktop (old Windows default, I think it is), and that suits me fine. I find pictures and multiple colors to be a distraction.

9. Labels. Many of my favorite foods have blue labels (which says something about advertising, doesn't it). Miracle Whip and Pillsbury Cinnamon Rolls and other Pillsbury products immediately come to mind, as does the Tony the Tiger Frosted Flakes cereal box.

10. Book covers are often blue. My Oxford American Writer's Thesaurus has a blue cover, as does my Oxford Essential Writer's Reference, my 2004 Writer's Market, my Freelance Writer's Guide, one of the Harry Potter books (The Half Blood Prince, I think it is, without getting up to look), and a book called Elvis in Oz, which is a bunch of short stories put together at least 15 years ago by writers at my alma mater, Hollins University.

11. Glassware. I don't have much blue glassware but my mother used to have some. I loved looking at it. I am not sure what happened to it.

12. The ocean. I almost forgot about this big chunk of blueness on the face of the world! The lull of the water, the feel of it, the smell of the salty sea. Ah, that's a vacation calling, isn't it?




13. Last, but not least, I will mention a blue violet. Not because it is a favorite flower but because it comes with a memory. When I was in the 6th grade, our class took a trip to Williamsburg. On the way home, we stopped at a K-mart and were told to buy presents for our family members. I purchased a small blue violet for my mother, which I carefully and proudly took home to her. She nurtured it well, and it sat in the window sill for years.



Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; you can learn more about it here. My other Thursday Thirteens are here. This is my 100th one!

In Velvet

Adventures in Gardening June 2009

Here it is, the last day of June. My flowers and gardening is ongoing. Some plants are in full bloom.

Alas, last night something, I presume a deer, stripped all the leaves and blossoms from one of my roses. It is but a bare stem now.

Marigolds and zinnias, sprouting in May from seeds I planted, disappeared.

This puzzled me until last week when I saw a rabbit nibbling at my newly sprouting sunflowers (planted to make up for the lack of zinnias and marigolds). Apparently my small seedlings made a good salad. I had hoped for a lovely bounty of beautiful colored flowers. I wanted to watch them sway in the breeze and feel their life and color breathe some liveliness back into my soul.

Alas, they are gone. Hopefully netting will keep the critters from the sunflowers.

But my pumpkins I planted about 10 days ago in the flower beds are flourishing (they have fence around them).



And my rescued mums bloomed in the whisky barrel:



My 40 cent geraniums, saved from the clearance bin at Walmart, are thriving.



And the garden is looking pretty good despite its small size.



That's zucchini, watermelon, corn and cucumber visible, with tomato plants and pole beans in the rear. You can't see the bush beans or the kale. Maneuvering in that small space is getting difficult as stuff grows. The best part is there are so many vegetable plants growing in there, the weeds can't find a toe-hold!

Green Beans

When I was a little girl, my mother worked a full time job in Salem, about a block from where my grandmother lived on East Riverside Drive.

Each summer, we stayed with Grandma. Mom would drop us off on her way to work, come to see us and eat lunch, and then pick us back up on her way back to Botetourt.

My grandmother did not drive, ever, so we walked everywhere we went.

Each Friday, we walked several blocks to Front Street, meaning my grandmother, her youngest son, Jerry, who is a year younger than I (and born on my first birthday, no less), and my brother, who is three years younger than I. Sometimes Junior, my grandmother's second-to-youngest son, went along. He is four years older than I.

The purpose of the weekly visit was to do hair. Grandma would set and roll Great Aunt Neva's hair. Sometimes she'd put in a permanent. Sometimes we were joined there by Great Aunt Susie, and she would have her hair done, too. Grandma, in turn, would have hair done by one of her sisters.

Always, Aunt Neva had a pot of green beans cooking on the stove. To this day when I smell green beans I also smell hair permanent.

For those who may not know, southern green beans simmer on the stove for HOURS. And I mean, all day.

There must be no crunch left in those suckers before they are considered edible. They are also cooked with fat back or ham, and are best if they are little greasy going down. They must have changed color from vibrant, bright, alive green to dull and dark green, too.

Today as I snapped green beans and prepared to cook them for HOURS (because that is the only way my husband will eat them), I thought of Aunt Neva and how the smell of green beans simmering in the kitchen always reminds me of her.

Aunt Neva never made it past the fourth grade, but she read every single word of The Roanoke Times, including the legals and want ads, every day. She did not miss a single advertisement or any word. I don't recall her ever reading books but she devoured the newspaper.

She was married to Sam Ellis and they had several kids. We called one Scootchie and I have never known his real name. The other was Lionel, who married Darlene, who was my mother's first cousin on her dad's side, so my mother's first cousins ended up marrying each other even though they were not related. Aunt Neva also had a daughter who teaches piano up in Radford, I think. I could be confused on that, though.

I really need to get this part of my family history.

Anyway, one of the children was Sidney. Sidney had epilepsy and he was thought to be mentally retarded. My mother said as a child he was fine but he either had a seizure that left him disabled or they gave him medication that messed him up badly. I never did not know the whole story.

Most of my Aunt Neva's life revolved around Sidney. He required a lot of attention and care and she did not hesitate to give it to him.

I don't know that I could be so selfless.

It's not Friday, but I am cooking green beans and thinking of my great aunt. My grandmother passed away two years ago, yesterday, so I am thinking of her, too.

Isn't it wonderful what food can do?

The Community Yardsale

When the alarm went off Saturday morning at 4:55 a.m., it was all I could do to struggle out of bed. I think I was finished with my shower and mostly dressed before I finally woke up.

The day was already hot when at 6:10 a.m. I pulled into the parking lot at Ikenberry Orchards. Several folks were already there ahead of me.

I hauled my treasures from the car and placed them attractively on the table. My offerings included clothing, a cotton candy machine, books, VHS tapes, small doo-dads, pocket books, a couple of book bags, a digital camera that I dropped and which worked provided you didn't use the zoom, and a combination TV/CD/Radio player.

The humidity must have been about 90 percent. It was unbelievably hot. Thankfully I knew the folks who had set up next to me, and they had been smart enough to bring a big canopy. They shared their shade. If they hadn't, I would have probably been out of there by 10 a.m. instead of 2 p.m. Bless you, Sue and Howard, for being so kind.

Right away I sold a couple of pieces of clothing and a pocket book. I thought that was a good sign for a good day, but as the hours wore on I realized that at best I would pay for lunch and dinner with the earnings from this endeavor.

My husband showed up with an old TV set we needed to get rid of. I sold it for a paltry sum, but as my husband said, "At least I don't have to haul it to Goodwill."

Once you've decided something will go to Goodwill, that means you're willing to give it away. With that in mind, anything for an item is better than nothing at all.

I saw a lot of people there, including the Blue Ridge Gal herself. She had her camera around her neck and showed me an old picture frame she'd purchased from next to nothing.

Jules also dropped by. She is not a blogger but she has lots of websites, including Indulge Tea and Mobility Advisor. Hey Jules, you need a blog, too! She had her dog and daughter in tow and said she was on her way to the SPCA to get another pooch. Awww.

Gwen Ikenberry, whose husband's family owns the place, also was there. She shared her shade with me, too. We have been friends since about 1993, which is a long time in dog years and not so bad in people years, either. I chatted with her mother-in-law, Loretta Ikenberry, for a good while.

Other folks I knew were Donna from Brambleberry Blog, who also is the leader of the Botetourt Farmer's Market. She was there hawking her produce. I also saw Hal Bailey from ECI, and Jay Etzler, the county Commissioner of Revenue, both of whom I have known since second grade. They were selling produce, too. I didn't realize they were such gardeners.

I also saw my (former) editor, Ed McCoy of The Fincastle Herald,* who was shopping around for items for "his" room at his house. Must be a man-cave den or something. We chatted a while and as he was standing there at least two people shouted out to me that they missed my work with the paper. I know that was difficult for him but he didn't say anything. It wasn't his decision to cut back on my work, after all.

Other folks who said howdy were Bobby and Donna Martin, Helen Gregory, Mary Jane from the Town of Troutville, Nancy Waddell and Dot Hillard. I'm sure there were others and I don't mean to leave you out if we chatted and I missed listing you!

My husband sat with me for a couple of hours. He went for lunch around 11:15 a.m., brought it back and ate it with me, and then headed home to cut hay for our neighbor, Lanetta Ware. I roasted in the heat some more, picking up a dollar here and there for various and sundry items.

Finally, the crowd began to thin and I decided it was time to pack the car up. Howard said he was going to Goodwill and would be glad to take whatever I wasn't taking back home with me. I was very grateful for this offer.

I left behind for Goodwill clothing, VHS tapes and books. I brought home with me the cotton candy machine and a couple of book bags.

Home was very inviting. I took a shower and collapsed.

At least the house is a little lighter and the spare room is now clear and I can get into it again.

I am very glad that is over.


*I'd add a link here for the paper but the website for it has been down since early May.

Death Comes Knocking

For many people about my age, that is, young baby boomers and older Generation Xers, Thursday's double whammy of the deaths of Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson was like a kick in the gut.

Most definitely it was a reminder that childhood is over and the downhill slide toward old age and death is nigh.

I was 13 years old when Charlie's Angels hit the airwaves on ABC. I thought it was the greatest show ever.

Every Wednesday night, when the show came on, I was plastered in front of the TV. I was not there to watch bouncy hair and jiggling boobs but to see three women - three very strong women - kick ass and take names. These ladies really could bring home the bacon and fry up in the pan, and never apologize for any of it.

Fawcett played Jill Monroe, and she was only in the first season (with guest appearances in a later season). The show lost a bit of its power when she left, not that CHeryl Ladd did a bad job. Fawcett's character just made it a little different show, is all.

My first "adult" hair cut was a Farrah cut. I never could get my hair to twirl and flip like hers but it definitely was THE cut for young ladies to have.

Michael Jackson's death is a loss, but he had grown so odd in his later years that I had lost much interest in him. Yet I do recall growing up with him. In particular I remember a TV cartoon show of the Jackson 5 that I watched. I also remember hearing him as a young man on the radio, and wondering if I could ever obtain such fame.

Obviously not.

There is no denying that Thriller made a huge impact on pop music and on the public at large. The album came out a year after I graduated from high school, and I wasn't in college - that was a floundering year for me. I'd been working and had just met my future husband about the time the album was released.

We did dance to it in a few clubs while we were dating but we quickly became an old married couple who didn't do the dance club/bar scene and to be honest the lure of Jackson's greatest release passed me by.

I never owned the record.

Even so, I do realize the genius of the musician and the impact of his music. His legacy will continue as musicians pick up his glove and move forward in a similar vein.

For me, this dual day of deceased means my own mortality is near. It also points out the truth that regardless of money, illnesses cannot be outrun and death comes to us all.

Heavy thoughts on a hot and humid day. It weights me down.

Yardsale!

Tomorrow I will be at Ikenberry Orchards for a community yard sale.

My offerings will include a cotton candy making machine, never opened, a tool bag, never used, men's clothing, XL and size 40 waist pants, women's clothing, XL, hard back and paper back books, and miscellaneous stuff.

Last time I talked with Gwen Ikenberry she said she had about 30 people signed up to sell their things, plus the Botetourt Farmers Market will be going on there, too.

Hope to see you there.

Thursday Thirteen: Botetourt Co.

Today I offer you 13 things to see in Botetourt County.

1. The Botetourt County Courthouse.




Local lore says this courthouse was designed by Thomas Jefferson. This present courthouse was rebuilt in the 1970s after the previous courthouse burned. The vault, housing records dating back to 1770, withstood the intense heat of the fire and the records were preserved.

2. The Botetourt County History Museum. Learn about the county's history and her people.

3. The Civil War Trail. Botetourt County was pillaged during Hunter's Raid. Presently there are historic markers in Buchanan, but there also should be some in Blue Ridge. Maybe one day.

4. Roaring Run. This is a great place for a picnic and a hike. The Roaring Run furnace is the remnant of an old iron furnace where pig iron was made. Nearby is the remains of the Town of Lignite.

5. The Town of Buchanan is a large historic district and has shops and eateries. It is great for strolling and visiting.

6. The Pomegranate in Troutville is an upscale restaurant. It is relatively new but worth a look.

7. The Botetourt Sports Complex, in and of itself, is simply a fancy ball field. But the vistas offer breathtaking looks at the mountain ranges, The Botetourt Center at Greenfield, and some of the better subdivisions. Definitely worth the walk around the track just for the view.


8. The Town of Fincastle has walking tours available. The town bills itself as a Little Williamsburg and it offers brick sidewalks, charming cottages and homes, and a glimpse at a life long past.





9. The Botetourt Wine Trail will take you to the county's three wineries. A great way to relax in a quiet country atmosphere.

10. Jake Cress's woodworking shop in Fincastle offers up a whimsical look at woodworking.

11. Churches. Botetourt County has many old churches, particularly in Fincastle and Buchanan but also around the entire county. In particular, check out the Fincastle Methodist and Presbyterian churches. Some of the oldest churches are in the Blue Ridge area.

12. Scenic Roads. We're blessed with lovely vistas all around. Check out Rts. 43 and 615 in the northern part of the county. Also try Rt. 606 from Fincastle to Craig County, Catawba Road, US 11, and various and sundry turnoffs, almost all of which are sure to delight.

13. Old Trinity School House Quilts. A great place to look if you're into sewing and quilting and such. There's also historic significance to the building.

Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; you can learn more about it here. My other Thursday Thirteens are here. This is my 99th one.

Coupons

The other day the Roanoke Times had a story about a woman who shops with coupons and spends only $10 for $150 worth of groceries.

Every now and then you hear of women like this (it almost always is a woman) who can somehow turn shopping into a cash-back affair.

This is not me. I do well to save $5 off a grocery trip with coupons.

Normally I don't even bother with coupons but since food prices have jumped and I am stretching dollars it seems prudent.

I seldom have coupons for most of the stuff I buy. Or use. And I don't have the space to store 10 for $10. Or 4 jars of Ragu spaghetti when we only eat spaghetti about once every two months.

Not only that, I always end up with the store clerk who is the coupon policeman. "You already gave me a coupon for that," she says, handing me back my second one.

"But I have two of the items!" I might protest. She'll then look down her nose at me until I put out my hand for the coupon.

I meekly put the coupon back in the little envelope I use for that purpose.

Couponing (is that a word?) takes a lot of time, too. First you have to clip them out. I generally end up standing aside in some poorly-used aisle while I try to sift through all the coupons in my envelope to see if I bought anything that looks remotely like the picture on the rebate.

To do it properly, I have to make a list, then go through the coupons and see if anything on there matches what I need, and then note on the list that I have a coupon and what number and size I should buy.

This is very time consuming.

These days I have more time than sense so I am couponing.

But I will never manage to buy $150 worth of groceries for $10.

Here are some websites that the newspaper article listed:

couponmom.com
coupons.smartsource.com
couponwinner.com
promotionalcodes.com

I haven't looked at any of them. But I plan to, one day.

Fuzzy Wuzzy

Regular readers may remember that about a month ago, I wrote an entry with photos of a mysterious critter that I thought might be a bear.

I'm happy to say that mystery has been solved:





That is a BEAR running through the alfalfa field!

I shot these pictures about 8:45 a.m. this morning (6/22/09. My mother-in-law called me and told me to get my camera and head to the hayfield and so I did.

She called it a cub but I don't think this is a cub. This is a full grown, if small bear.

It ventured across the road while I was shooting pictures so I hopped in the car to make sure I could stop traffic to keep it from getting hit. I felt protective since I am pretty sure my presence is the reason it ran across the street.

It vanished into the woods in front my house and I've not seen it again. I suspect it is still in the woods, though, hunkered down.

The Fear Factor

Last weekend, as Saturday opened up to give us a day without rain (which we have needed, but my goodness!), I headed out to work in the flower bed and the vegetable garden.

The sky was lovely, the air crisp and clean from all the rain. I had little to fear in the way of pollen, anyway.

Our tiny garden is surrounded by fence to keep the deer away. If it were a bigger plot I would gladly share and let them have their due, but in such a small space that means I end up with nothing.

Hence the fence.

The garden is not far from a very large blue spruce tree. And inside the tree a mother bird sat.

She did not appreciate my presence near her nest. She squawked and hopped and carried on as if there was no fence between us. I ignored her and continued with my hoeing and weeding.

But she was terrified that I would do something to her eggs even though I was as non-aggressive as I could be. My presence alone was enough to for an adrenaline rush.

While I worked, I thought about this bird's fear. From my point of view, there was no reason to be afraid of me. But she did not know me.

I was the big U - the UNKNOWN.

Fear of the unknown is what keeps us all from embracing change. We don't know what will happen if things change. Every time the government changes people, we are terrified. Right now the changes President Obama is trying to put forth has scared many people, right and left. (Personally I don't think he's going far enough but no one is asking me.) So you get a lot of squawk squawk squawk from the media and from various sides of the political fences.

All around me, the birds are terrified.

And what about me? What am I afraid of, I wondered as I sat back on my heels, my knees in the mud and my gloves caked with dirt. What are my fears?

My friends say I am fearless and sometimes offer examples. I have gone up in a hot air balloon. I've flown in a bi-plane with a crazy man. I've stood toe-t0-toe with mayors, county administrators, judges and others who would do their best to silence the Fourth Estate.

I quit my 9-to-5 job and went to work for myself.

Maybe when I was younger I was not as fearful, but these days I find fear all around me and in me. The exterior fears of my countrymen seem to have settled on me like a weary dark blanket. Everyone is afraid and their nervousness permeates the air when I am out in public. Sometimes it is stifling, the fear is so thick.

Losing my biggest freelance client has left me fearful that I won't be able to replace that income. Immediately that moves to a fear of being one of those poor ladies who live under the overpass, pushing a shopping cart with all of my worldly goods. This is completely irrational. My husband has a good job!

I also fear being alone. My husband loves me and I have friends, so this is also irrational.

Other fears:

- having some kind of disability that made me a burden
- being unable to take care of myself when I'm old(er)
- dying before I've done whatever it is I was put here on earth to do
- disappointing people
- not living up to my potential
- success
- lack of success

I'm sure there are many others, but these came to mind while I working.

Overcoming fear is not an easy thing to do at all. Sometimes I think we're all just like that bird, squawking at nothing that is going to harm us.

Calming down and understanding that the big hulking giant in the vegetable garden isn't going to hurt us is difficult thing to do.

Thursday Thirteen

Here are some possible new jobs for me, should I decide to go back into the work force and give up on freelance writing as a career.

1. Private investigator. In Virginia, you must be licensed. Apparently this requires 60 hours of training. The Department of Criminal Justice oversees this. Here's an article about it from ehow.com. I like the idea of being a fat Stephanie Plum or Kinsey Millhone. I don't want to cut up bodies like Kay Scarpetta, though.

2. Energy auditor. Since green is the next big thing, I thought I'd look into being somebody who goes in your house and says "hey, use weatherstripping and change out your light bulbs" and you give me $100 for that advice. There are several sites on the Internet that advertise certification for this, and they range in price from $195 to $8,999. According to this site, you need to have a B.A. in engineering and certification from a proper authority. Yikes.

3. Pumpkin grower and seller. Pumpkins are big things in the fall, what with Halloween and pumpkin pie at Thanksgiving. I've got some acreage. This seems promising if I can convince my husband to plow up some new ground. Maybe I could grow the world's largest pumpkin. Or at least the county's. Nothing like sweat equity. They need to be planted soon, though. Must start doing the convincing if this is to be a reality.

4. You want fries with that? I was looking at blueridgehelpwanted.com and most of the ads were for service people at fast food industries. I noted a lot of ads for Arby's. They sell roast beef as well as fries. I admire folks who work behind the counter at these places because frankly I don't think I can do it.

5. Join the Army. The other abundant advertising on some of the job sites are for the Armed Forces. Uncle Sam wants ME to sign up. I am afraid of guns plus I am too old, so I don't think so. I'm also fat and out of shape. Definitely not army material.

6. The U.S. Census Bureau. Right now in my area apparently they're hiring for field survey workers. That is not the 2010 census, the site says. I guess it's prep work for that. Anyway, according to an article in The Roanoke Times the other day, people get bitten by dogs and threatened with shotguns whilst performing this work. Sounds very exciting, doesn't it?

7. Web master. I think this has promise. I need to learn HTML and figure out design and shoot, there you go. Just have to put my mind to it, right? Well, no. You might want to have a computer science degree. I have a degree in English. Hmm. Not much going for me there, is it.

8. Distributor. Seems like if I can find a product people want and get the distributorship for it, then I could become the person around here who sells it. I guess this could be like Avon or Longaberger baskets, too. I haven't the faintest idea how to go about this but if you type in "how to be a distributor" lots of stuff comes up so I guess I'd better go read it.

9. Nonprofits. I have a strong interest in this, but haven't seen many job openings. I think working for a grant foundation or historical preservation agency would interest me. No one is hiring right now but maybe later, when that stimulus money starts to work.

10. Government. I would love to work for my county government, but they have a hiring freeze on until the 2010-2011 budget. Unless someone leaves and they replace them I have no way of getting on there. Most of the neighboring localities have the same hiring freeze thing going on. Maybe when the stimulus money actually starts to work.

11. Healthcare. The help-wanted ads offer many choices for nurses, nursing assistants, and bed pan people. Alas, I am not someone for whom health care has ever held much call. I faint at the sight of blood and vomit when someone else does. Maybe something in the administration offices?

12. Genealogist. I would love to do this for people. I love the research and I know my way around the courthouse. I already have most of the published history books and know how to find the ones I don't have. I have done this for one or two people but I haven't yet figured out how to leverage this into some kind of steady career. Not only that, our county is loaded with history and with other people with a similar interest who are already doing this. We're the Seedbed of the Republic, after all. So do I put up a sign, business cards in the courthouse? Hmm.

13. ???? . I'm not going to list a 13th idea, because I'm interested in seeing what other folks might suggest. So what else is out there for an English major with an introverted personality? Any really off-the-wall, quirky ideas?

Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; you can learn more about it here. My other Thursday Thirteens are here. This is my 98th one.

Books: Close Kin

Close Kin
By Clare B. Dunkle
Copyright 2004
216 pages

This is a young adult book, the second in the Hollow Kingdom Trilogy. My review of the first book is here.

Emily is the Queen's sister, and it is time for her to wed. Her suitor Seylin, a young elf-goblin, makes his intentions known but she doesn't quite understand that he is asking for her hand in marriage.

Seylin, who is more elf than goblin, decides to leave in search of elves. The goblins think the elves died out a long time ago, thanks to goblin raids, etc. Goblins like elf brides, though.

Emily trots after him, hoping to find him, once she realizes her error.

It sounds rather convoluted and I suppose it is in a short review but this is rather charming. The goblins are mostly ugly and by their moral code they are not bad (though by our moral code they might well be, what with stealing elf and humans to be their brides in their cave home, never to see the light of day again).

I would not recommend starting with this book; the first book seems essential to understanding this world. It had been six months since I read the first book and I had difficulty recalling what was going on in the first several pages of Close Kin. I also would not recommend this for children under 10; there are one or two themes that seem too adult for younger ages.

Overall, a great young adult book and a nice fantasy for older readers.

3 stars

The Graduate (no, not the movie)

Thursday night the family gathered at Ashley Plantation for an evening of celebration.

Our nephew, Emory was headed for college!

His parents and two other sets of parents had rented a room and they threw a party for their sons. The boys had known each other I think since kindergarten. They are very close.

After a teary prayer, we all wolfed out buffet style. I had BBQ.

One of the parents showed a video of the three boys, following them from babyhood to adult hood. Many "awwww" moments, as you can imagine.

Friday night, LBHS had its graduation ceremonies at the Roanoke Civic Center in the coliseum.

My husband was on duty but managed some personal time so he could attend. I had to meet him there.

Parking at the Civic Center is awful. I thought I was early but the traffic and parking was so bad that I was almost late.

Anyway, we found seats with the rest of the family and waited for the graduates to appear.



I snapped the first shots of Emory as he walked out onto the coliseum floor.

The event lasted just over an hour; I had thought it would take longer to graduate 260 kids but apparently not.

Here is Emory receiving his diploma:



Unfortunately because of the space and the lighting, etc., etc., and the fact that I apparently could not take pictures properly that night, my shots of the ceremony are not good. Most of them were so blurred they were unusable. I was using the Nikon D-40 but perhaps should have taken the Canon.

I should stop here and not continue, but I have to say that this was the rowdiest, most undignified graduation ceremony I have ever attended. Let me tell you, as a reporter, I have attended many, many graduation ceremonies and none matched this one.

The administration said nothing about making a lot of noise or holding applause, and so, of course, there was a LOT of noise.

On either side of us people had air horns, which they blasted with great regularity. While many parents were there dressed in their Sunday best, there were other people there in blue jeans. Folks besides us hooted, clapped, yelled and just generally conducted themselves as if they were at a lady mud wrestling match.

At times it was so loud you couldn't even hear the names announced. That was another thing. They didn't give full names. It was "Herb Smith" not Herbert Walter Smith or whatever. And the programs they handed out were done on gray paper with red ink. They are not at all legible to my eyes, and I know that older folks just looked at them and grimaced.

Decorum was sadly lacking. My husband became more and more irritated as the event went on. Afterwards he fumed about the lack of respect showed to the graduates as well as to the older folks attending the ceremony.

At any event, the boy is now a man and he is heading off to University of South Carolina this fall. He will be a trauma surgeon. I am very very proud of him and I love this boy so much it makes my chest hurt. I doubt he knows that but maybe someday he will think back on his old aunt and remember her with fondness.

I know I will always think of him with love.