The Art of Saying Thank You

A few weeks after my husband's accident with the hay baler, I left him alone one morning while I ran errands. He was bored, and I suggested he write the thank-you notes I'd been meaning to do.

I'd kept a list of folks who had gone out of their way to help me and/or him out when he was hurt. Folks called and expressed concern, which we appreciated, but it was the people who actually brought food, or drove me to the hospital, or otherwise went out of their way to help, that I felt deserved a personal note. All of the extended hands were wonderful, but a couple of people really did step up and go out of their way for us.

One of the people on the list was the doctor who saved my husband's hand and arm. At first my husband questioned that - aren't we, after all, going to pay him? - but I insisted that he should send him a personal thank you note. I also had on the list the staff of 9 West at the hospital and the ER staff.

My husband, still recovering and not able to argue as well as he might otherwise, dutifully wrote up the thank-you notes while I was gone. I glanced at them - they were very simple, one or two lines that said something nice, such as, "Thank you for the cookies and for helping out my wife" or whatever. I dropped them in the mail.

My husband has since seen his doctor three times, and every time the doctor has thanked him for the thank-you note. My husband has decided that the physician must seldom receive a heart-felt thanks for the work he has done, since this little thank-you note has made such an impression on the good doctor.

It is such a small thing, a thank-you note. It took my husband very little time to write the notes - I think there were about a dozen in all - and the cost of the stationary and the stamp not worthy of discussion.

But we don't say "thank you" with sincerity in our society much any more. People do things and perhaps we thank them at the time - I know I thanked the doctor that night, at 1:30 a.m., when he came to tell me how the surgery went. Of course I meant that, and I was grateful. It's the little thank-you note that came weeks later, though, that the doctor remembers.

If we think back on our life journey, especially those of us who have a little age on our souls, I know there are many folks who could use a thank-you note. Special teachers, neighbors, grandparents, aunts, uncles, mentors, co-workers. We do not live secluded on islands where we see no one; we are social creatures and our lives intertwine with exchanges meaningful and meaningless perhaps thousands of times a day.  

Writing a thank-you note is not hard. Many people put it off because they think it is difficult or time consuming, but it is not. They can be as long or as short as you like.

What, I wonder, would a teacher say if she received a simple note like this:

Dear Mrs. ________,

The other day I was writing a report and I thought of you. I wanted to thank you for your encouragement when I was at student at _____ in _____; because of your efforts to teach me grammar, I am now a __________.

Thank you for all that you did for me.

And sign your name. It's not that hard, really. She may not remember you - teachers have hundreds of students, after all - but you will make her day.

And your heart will feel lighter.

I would like to see the art of saying Thank You return with a vengeance. I think it would make us a kinder, more gentle society, and heaven knows we could use more of that.

So for my own contribution, let me say THANK YOU, dear reader, for the time you've given me, the many comments you've left, and for your prayers and heartfelt concern. You have given me a greater community and enlightened my world.

THANK YOU!

THANK YOU!

THANK YOU!

Early Morning Visitor

Too dark for the camera and I was too shaky to get good shots, darn it, but we had a bear in the back yard this morning!

Yee hah!

Cute little thing, too!

Animal Farm

Sunday Stealing: Favorite Fictionals

From Sunday Stealing

Favorite Fictional ?


1. Favorite fictional couple?

A. Frodo and Sam. Technically, not a couple, though.
 
2. Favorite fictional character?

A. Xena the Warrior Princess
 
3. Favorite fictional TV show?

A. Xena: Warrior Princess
 
4. Favorite fictional movie?

A. The Lord of the Rings (all three of them, plus The Hobbit, all three of them, even though the last one hasn't come out yet.)
 
5. Favorite fictional villain?

A. Voldemort.
 
6. Favorite fictional hero?

A. Aragorn or Legolas. It's kind of a tie.
 
7. Favorite fictional pet?

A. Dino the Dinosaur. Or that dinosaur that was in the original Land of the Lost kids series in the 1970s.

8. Favorite fictional setting/universe?

A. Middle Earth.
 
9. Least favorite fictional couple?

A. Heathcliff and Catherine. Or maybe Harry and Ginny. Or Ron and Hermione. I still haven't figured out how that last one happened. I mean, really!
 
10. Least favorite fictional character?

A. That strange girl who dated Raj on Big Bang Theory early last season.
 
11. Least favorite fictional TV show?

A. I don't really have one. If I don't like something, I simply don't watch it. Who has the time to waste on something that isn't a favorite?
 
12. Least favorite fictional movie?

A. Anything with Adam Sandler in it.
 
13. Least favorite fictional villain?

A. The Borg in Star Trek
 
14. Least favorite fictional hero?

A. I am not fond of those vampire people in True Blood.

15. Least favorite fictional pet?

A. I don't know, some kind of cat, probably.

16. Least favorite fictional setting/universe?

A. The world of those Mad Max movies was pretty bleak.

Saturday 9: I Got You, Babe

Saturday 9: I Got You, Babe(recommended by Thank You Great Spirit)

If you're not familiar with today's song, you can hear it here.

1) Popular music has produced almost countless groups, but not that many duos. Besides Sonny & Cher, can you name another?

A. The Captain and Tennille. Also, The Carpenters.

2)  Hearing this recording from his clock radio is how Bill Murray woke up every morning in Groundhog Day. What woke you up this morning?

A. The alarm went off but I don't recall the song playing.

3) When she was growing up, Cher practiced her autograph for when she became a star. Is your signature legible? Or is it more of a scrawl?

A. My signature is barely legible.

4) In addition to show biz, Sonny & Cher had many careers: Sonny was a restauranteur and politician, Cher is an interior designer. Would you like to try your hand at any of those professions?

A. Can't say that I would, no. Although I once considered running for my local Board of Supervisors. I got over it.

5) In 1965, when this song topped the charts, Sonny and Cher were as famous for their wardrobe as for their music. Sonny was fond of tall, heavy-heeled boots while Cher often paired granny dresses with bare feet. What's on your feet right now?

A. A pair of mocassins.

6) By 1968, their career crashed. Cher's early attempts as a movie actress failed, their records stopped selling and the IRS came after them for back taxes. Have you ever been audited?

A. Nope. I am a good little girl when it comes to paying and doing my taxes.

7) In 1971 they were on top again with their TV show. But their marriage was coming apart. Sonny said, "For the last 5 years I worried about our career, not about us." Have you ever been guilty of putting career before relationship?

A. I think most of us do that at some point or another in any relationship - you can't always be focused on a relationship. You must, at some point, trust that it is strong and that it can withstand not being the focus of your attention for a while. But I confess that in my world, when someone wants me or needs me, the reality is that whatever else I am doing, however important it may be to me, generally my need comes second. 

8) By 1972 they were living separate lives -- in the same house. For the sake of The Sonny and Cher Comedy Hour, they pretended to be happily married another year and a half. Tell us about a time when you pretended to be happy, but weren't.

A. I'm sure there are times but I can't think of any. I tend to wear my emotions on my face and if I manage to keep that under control, my eyes give me away every time.

9) While their separation and divorce were bitter, they resumed their friendship when Cher showed up at the opening of his restaurant in 1976. Have you ever made the first move in repairing a relationship?

A. Yes.

Thursday Thirteen

Books everyone should read at least once:

1. To Kill a Mockingbird, by Harper Lee

2. 1984, by George Orwell

3. The Diary of a Young Girl, by Anne Frank

4. The Lord of the Rings & The Hobbit, by J. R. R. Tolkien

5. Little Women, by Louisa May Alcott

6. Wuthering Heights, by Emily Bronte

7. Hamlet, by William Shakespeare

8. Anne of Green Gables, by L. M. Montgomery

9. The Handmaid's Tale, by Margaret Atwood

10. A Wrinkle in Time, by Madeline L'Engle

11. The Shadow of the Wind, by Carlos Ruis Zafon

12. The War of the Worlds, by H. G. Wells

13. Leaves of Grass, by Walt Whitman

What are some books you think everyone should read?


Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; there is a list here. I've been playing for a while and this is my 357th time to do a list of 13 on a Thursday.

Fawn Photos

Unwritten

I began reading when I was three years old. By the time I was five, I read the newspaper every day. By the second grade, my teachers were telling me I would grow up to be a writer.

My journey into the world of words took me toward journalism. I remember when I was 10 years old telling my mother that I wanted to write for The Fincastle Herald, only I would do it better and right. At the time it was more like a gossip sheet than an actual newspaper. That was in the 1970s.

My mother was not thrilled with my choice of careers, and did not support the idea of writing as a profession. Her lack of faith in my abilities, I think, led me to make decisions I might not have made had I had more support. But I did go on to write for the newspaper, and I also put myself through Hollins College (now Hollins University) in hopes of learning more about the written word.

I also wanted to write books, of course. Most writers do. I have never aspired to be the Great American Novelist, though. Mostly I wanted to be a hack and write Nancy Drew Books, or something like that, like Carolyn Keene. As I got older I thought I would like to be another Victoria Holt or Phyllis Whitney. I merely wanted to make a nice living with words and use my talent. I did not want to write romances, but I liked genre writing. But I did not know how to go about that and such writing wasn't taught at Hollins, which took a more high-brow approach to the art. And at Hollins in the late 1980s, writing was art, not craft. And while I had the talent, I wasn't able to pull it together to become another Lee Smith.

So I drifted into journalism and I wrote for newspapers and magazines. Even then, I could not move beyond the small publications and into the larger world of better pay and prominence. Mostly I was afraid to submit, scared of failing, afraid to collect the rejection slips. So I stuck with the safe sells.

However, like most writers, I have things stuffed in drawers. Below is my very first completed novel. I wrote it pre-Hollins, around 1984. I typed it on an IBM Selectric II at my place of employment, which was a law office. In those days, employers had receptionists and I was one of those. I had a lot of down time and my immediate supervisor didn't care what I did so long as I looked busy. So I wrote a book.

Over the years, I have occasionally pulled this out and looked at it. It was a gothic romance, which are genre books that I read and enjoyed growing up. Those stories are no longer in vogue, though. They have morphed into vampire stories, I think.

Each time I looked at it, I changed names. Made notes about completely removing characters. Attempted to jostle it into something worthy of retyping.

In the fall of 2011, I pulled it out again and spent a good six weeks going over it. It was, I decided, crap. All of it. Nothing salvageable except the plot line, maybe. Maybe not even that.

I put it back into its box.
 

Things are different for me now. My work with the newspaper and writing for other magazines has declined considerably. Much of that was because of the recession, which cost me my steady gig at the newspaper and then brought me a slew of competitors, unemployed folks who turned to freelancing in hopes of keeping their bills paid.

In 2010, I went back to college and earned my masters in 2012. It was a liberal studies degree, not writing, though it was heavy on writing and English courses. I didn't pursue much writing at the time. I thought I might go into teaching.

And then I developed a health issue.

Rethinking my life and what I want to do with myself now at the age of 51 was not in my plans even a few years go. But nothing is as it was.

The Internet has changed publishing considerably. My first novel, though I thought it terrible, in reality was no worse than many of the things I've seen self-published, both in print and on the Internet. These days anyone who can string a sentence together can put up a story on Amazon and call themselves an author. The lure of the title has been diminished. While I do not believe every one can write, everyone else believes they can. Good works are drowning now in seas of mediocrity.

During a cleaning spell this weekend, I came across my novel, those pages typed on a typewriter. Only this hardcopy existed.

And then I turned that hard copy into this:



It's gone now, that first novel. That crap, that junk, that awful bit of work. All told it was 210 pages of drivel. I tore my name off each and every page, and shredded that, and put the rest in the recycling bin.

Over the next few months I expect more of my past writings to find their way into the scrap pile. I have long kept my chicken scratches and ideas, bits of poems, pieces of stories, unfinished articles. Whatever I find that I think has merit I will keep, but I plan to toss the rest of it where it belongs - in the trash.

Will this free me? Will this renew me and have me start anew, begin again my collection of words, lines, and stanzas? Will new paragraphs flow? Or will I give up and go do something else? And if I do something else, what will it be?

I don't know. I am in the midst of a change, a life crisis, of sorts. Tossing these pieces of paper are a beginning, as well as an end. However, I have no idea what the beginning is to. My life, like a book, is unwritten.

Tree Lines, Sky Lines, and Power Lines

Took a trip on the utility vehicle across the top of the hill on the farm the other day to check on things. I snapped these shots whilst riding along, so they aren't of anything particular. Just some different views.

 

What's left of the forest behind the house.

 

 

Before the logging in 2007, this was a much thicker stand of trees.

 

 

Blue skies!

 

 

Lots of thistle up top. There were butterflies everywhere but I did not stop for photos.

 

 

 

On a clear day, I can see forever. Or at least to the first mountain.

 

 

 

I love the rolling hills.

 

 

Power line and fence.

 

 

Note the two butterflies in the middle of the photo.

 

 

This large power line traverses the farm.

 

 

The tree line of the forest behind my house as seen from the west.

Sunday Stealing

From Sunday Stealing



Q. Would you ever cheat on someone if they cheated on you?

A. No.

Q. Would you ever consider becoming a teacher?

A. I was working on that before I became ill. I managed it for a while.

Q. Would you ever give a hitch-hiker a ride somewhere?

A. Generally no, because I would be alone. Being female, that is not safe. But if I were with my husband in his pick up, we might let someone ride in the back.

Q. Would you ever try fasting for a whole week?

A. I didn't intentionally try it, but when I first got sick I went a whole week without eating anything other than chicken broth because I couldn't stand anything else. It was a great weight loss plan.

Q. Would you ever try to quit one of your addictions?

A. Yes. But so far chocolate and I are still best friends.

Q. Would you ever dye your hair purple?

A. If it were for a good cause. It'll grow out and you can always recolor.

Q. Would you ever spend $100 for the best tasting hamburger in the world?

A. No.

Q. Would you rather chew gum off the ground or kill a squirrel?

A. What kind of question is that? I would not do either.

Q. Would you rather play Monopoly or Operation?

A. Monopoly.

Q. Would you rather eat chocolate or fruity candies?

A. Seeing as how I am a chocoholic, I guess we know the answer to that one.

Q. Would you rather listen to one CD forever or become deaf?

A. These are terrible choices and I refuse to make them.

Q. Would you rather be deaf or blind?

A. Once again, I refuse to answer.

Q. Would you rather text or talk on the phone?

A. Talk on the phone.

Q. Would you rather spend a day with Lady Gaga or Miley Cyrus?

A. Um. Are those really my only choices?

Q. Would you rather learn to play piano or guitar?

A. I already know how to do both!

Q. Would you rather have a stomach-ache or headache?

A. I have had a perpetual, disabling stomach-ache for over a year now. I'd just as soon do away with pain, if that's okay.

Q. Would you rather be overly interesting or overly dull?

A. Interesting.

Q. Would you rather be too loud or too quiet?

A. Quiet. Although I'm not sure you can be overly interesting and too quiet at the same time.

The View From Mill Mountain

Mostly what you can see from the overlooks at Mill Mountain is The City of Roanoke.

 

Roanoke, formerly known as Big Lick, became the Town of Roanoke in 1882 and then a city two years later. The railroad brought the area its fortune in the 20th century and for many years it was known as a "railroad town."

 

The Roanoke River bisects the city, as does the train tracks. The city has a population of over 97,000 people, making it the largest metropolitan area west of Richmond and the commercial hub of Southwestern Virginia.

 

I am not a city girl and I do not venture into Roanoke very often. I remember the downtown of my youth as a vibrant and alive place, with various shops and movie theaters. The city now has a market area which offers shops and restaurants.

 

 

The city to the south of its center.

 

 

Roanoke is surrounded by mountains, and this billboard at The Roanoke Star names them.

 

 

 

This is the heart of Roanoke. The tallest structure is the Wells Fargo building (the one with the copper roof). It was originally called the Dominion Tower. It was built by a bank and has changed hands as the banks have rolled over.

 

 

This is a shot of Tinker Mountain, which is about 12 miles from Roanoke. We live on the other side of Tinker Mountain.

 

 

Another shot of downtown. The road snaking through is an interstate.

 

 

More of the city to the south of downtown.

 

 

The upper right shows the Catholic Church. It is currently undergoing renovation.

 

 

It's rather sobering to see all of those house tucked among the trees down there, isn't it.

 

 

It takes a lot of space to house nearly 100,000 people.

 

 

This was my favorite shot that I took last week when I was on Mill Mountain.

 

 

 

 

Haze frequently hides the mountains.

 

 

A closer look at the Wells Fargo building. To the right and a little to the rear, before you get to the Catholic Church, is Hotel Roanoke.

 

 

 

Hullabaloo was rampant when Dominion Bank built this structure. Nothing in Roanoke is accomplished without lots of complaining and doomsday talking.

 

 

 

This is the Taubman Museum. It was also controversial, and I tend to come down on the side of the folks who don't like it. I think it looks like a spaceship landed in the middle of the city. It is a lovely structure but it was put in the wrong place.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Mine Would Be You(recommended by Kathy W)

If you're not familiar with today's song, you can hear it here.

1) The lyrics mention his respect for "90 proof and Marlboro Red." What was your most recent drink? When was your last cigarette?

A. My most recent drink was a root beer that I had on Friday. My last cigarette was sometime when I was a teenager, around 1980, when I tried smoking and failed miserably at it. I lead a terribly prudish and boring life.

2)  They also reference "singing like crazy fools." What's the last song you sang?

A. Starry Starry Night (Vincent) by Don McLean.

3) Blake Shelton won a Grammy for his performance of this song. Crazy Sam won the award for "most improved bowler" when she was in third grade, and it's now in a closet somewhere. Do you have any trophies? If so, where are they?

A. I don't think I have any trophies. I won a certificate for the classroom spelling bee when I was in the 5th grade. It's in a file folder with my high school diploma, I think.

4) Blake is currently on tour. The merchandise sold at concerts brings in big money for the artist. Do you have any tour memorabilia (like a poster or t-shirt)?

A. Can't say that I do. My husband has his ticket from a Rolling Stones concert. Does that count?

5) In addition to The Voice, Shelton is on TV a lot with his Pizza Hut commercials. What chain restaurant is nearest your home? Do you eat there?

A. The absolute closest chain restaurant would be a Subway. I eat there maybe once every two years or so. There's a Papa Johns right next to it and I never eat there.
 

6) Shelton has a million-seller CD called Cheers! It's Christmas! What's the first Christmas carol to pop into your head this hot summer Saturday?

A. Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.

7) Shelton and Miranda Lambert were married in front of 550 guests. Do you enjoy weddings?

A. I haven't been to one in a very long time.

8) The wedding took place on a big Texas ranch. Have you spent much time on a farm or a ranch?

A. I live on a farm! I've spent about 45 years on a farm.

9) In 2013 he helped organize a relief benefit concert for victims of the Oklahoma tornados. Tell us about a charity you support.

 

A. I give money every year to Mount Union Cemetery, a nonprofit corporation, which oversees the graveyard where my mother is buried. This helps ensure that the grounds are mowed and things are properly kept up. I urge everyone to donate to local cemeteries so that the graves of loved ones are maintained. A few dollars can make a big difference.

 

The Mill Mountain Star

Wednesday my husband had physical therapy in Roanoke, and I decided to drive up to the big star on the mountain while I was killing time.

 

This is now called The Roanoke Star, but I have always known it as the Mill Mountain Star. Mill Mountain is the name of the mountain upon which it sits, after all.

 

Roanoke sometimes is called The Star City, and this big neon structure is why. This the largest man-made star in the world.

 

 

The star was built long before I was born, so it has always been a beacon. When I was a child and we were coming home from vacations, seeing the star meant we were home.

 

 

 

For a while, the star glowed red at night when someone died in a traffic accident. That was a very long time ago, when I was a child. Sometimes it is a patriotic red, white, and blue. Mostly I think it glows white, though.

 

 

 

I had not been up to the star in many years. I was the only person there Wednesday morning. It was a bit chilly and I gloried in the silence and the natural surroundings.

 

 

 

This is the back side of the star. I thought I'd take a picture of that because most people don't.

 

 

 

There was debris hanging in the metal.

 

At the base of the star is an overlook where you can take photos of Roanoke. Of course I did that and will share those soon.

 

There is a "star cam" where you can see people on the overlook. You can access it online at the link. I suppose if anyone were looking at it Wednesday morning, they would have seen me out there.

Thursday Thirteen

Robin William's suicide saddened me. It did not surprise me because I'd read about his issues with addiction and depression. I am glad that this seems to have opened a dialogue about mental illness, but unfortunately we have become a nation that talks, not one that does. So I doubt that any appropriate actions will take place. The government will not send more money to mental health facilities, schools will not set up screenings for depression, nor will other appropriate interventions take place. We will talk about it until the next media event comes and then, just like when the murders in Sandy Hook forced a dialogue about gun control, we will move on and do nothing.

I have no doubt that on the same day Robin Williams killed himself, so did someone else. That person, being just a regular nobody, will be grieved by a few. I'm not saying that is right or wrong, but I do wonder about the hero worship that goes on in our society. Shouldn't every life have value?

Here is a list of 13 famous women who have committed suicide. I took these from a very long list on Wikipedia. I was only able to get into the "Ds" before I stopped at 13. While the main list at the link is largely dominated by males, I believe the myth that women seldom commit suicide is just that - folklore. I think women commit suicide as frequently as men, but there is a greater stigma about it for females. Also, it's a patriarchal world where only the men matter, so their deaths have always made the headlines.


1. Gia Allemand (2013), American actress, model, and reality television contestant, known for her appearances on the shows, The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love and Bachelor Pad, hanging.

2. Diane Arbus (1971), American photographer, overdosed on pills and slashed wrists

3. May Ayim (1996), German author, jumped from 13th floor of a Berlin building

4. Nikki Bacharach (2007), Daughter of Burt Bacharach and Angie Dickinson, suffocated using plastic bag and helium

5. Amelie "Melli" Beese (1925), German pioneer aviatrix, gunshot

6. Mary Kay Bergman (1999), American voice actress, shotgun

7. Clara Bloodgood (1907), American Broadway actress; gunshot.

8. Isabella Blow (2007), English magazine editor, and muse to fashion designer Alexander McQueen, poisoning

9. Cheyenne Brando (1995), Tahitian model/actress, and the daughter of Marlon Brando by his third wife Tarita Teriipaia, hanging.

10. Christine Chubbuck (1974), television reporter, shot herself during a live news broadcast

11. Cleopatra (30 BC), Queen of Egypt, inducing a snake to bite her.

12. Patricia Cutts (1974), English film and television actress. Died from barbiturate poisoning at her London flat, aged 48

13. Dalida (1987), French-Italian singer, an overdose of barbiturates.


I didn't know who most of these people were, I confess. Other women suicides I noted: Sylvia Plath, Virginia Woolf, Margaux Hemingway, Dana Plato, and Anne Sexton. There were many other female names that I did not recognize. Janis Joplin wasn't on this list, but she died of a drug overdose. Supposedly it was accidental, but we'll never know. Certainly she had an addiction problem if she died accidentally.

Depression is a difficult disease. It's an illness just like the flu, but it affects your mind. We have a terrible stigma about mental illness in this country and it's time we realize that people who suffer from mental illness need help, not incarceration or shunning. Many of our homeless are mentally ill. We are not a humane nation when it comes to caring for those who cannot care for themselves.

I for one would like to see that change.


Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; there is a list here. I've been playing for a while and this is my 356th time to do a list of 13 on a Thursday.