Tuesday, August 08, 2017

Aprons, Mops and . . . What?

I do not consider myself a prude, although I suppose others might. I mean, I'm 54 years old and married. I don't go into the closet and undress. However, I don't subject myself to movies or books that are rated R, generally, as I do not care for violence. I did not read 50 Shades of Grey and have no desire to. Maybe I am a prude. So what.

Last night I was flipping through a catalog I received in the mail, one of those that has a bit of everything. This one had some old-timey type stuff, like mops, aprons, flowery things. Stuff you don't really need but which may or may not work to make life a little easier. I marked a page because it had a holder for a handicap placard on it and I'd been looking for those. This was the first time I'd seen one. I thought I might end up ordering something if I could find something else I wanted.

I flipped to the middle spread in the catalog and lo, there were two pages full of women's sexual aids plastered there. I did a double take. I went from aprons to "massage toys" in one turn of a page.

The next page went back to mops. I was amused, bemused, and befuddled. Intrigued, I checked out the website, too, to see what was online. Both male and female sexual aids were available under "health and beauty."

I have never bought from this company and I don't know why I received the catalog. It is the kind of thing I would have expected to see in my grandmother's house, actually. Except for that middle page part. I'm pretty sure Grandma's catalogs did not have those kinds of items in their middle pages.

Then I started wondering. What if they did? What if it was all in some secret code, back in the 1950s, when the catalogs came? Maybe dirty things were in plain sight, hidden on page 56 of the old Sears & Robuck, if you knew where to look.

I envision my grandmothers fainting at the sight of the middle page of the catalog I have now tossed into the recycling bin (sans my name, of course), but hey, they probably had their own thing, too. Things we never knew about. Things we still don't know about, information that has died with a generation. I doubt they were prudes. I'm here, aren't I?

Was there a reason besides toilet paper economy that led to big fat catalogs being carried out to the johnny houses of the day? Hmm.

We may never know.


  1. Wow, I would have thrown it away too.

    I always say I'm a prude. I don't mind (much) violence so much in movies or tv, but don't like hearing really "bad" words and definitely not nudity.

  2. Maybe the "aides" were to keep you happy enough to want to do the housecleaning and cooking....just a thought? I did read the 50 Shades books and if you look at the stories, it really is more than sex books . It is a story about trust. Trusting those who are suppose to love and protect you when you are young, trusting the people that you build relationships with both professional and personal but mostly loving yourself but being able to give love to someone else selflessly. It was about unconditional love. The sex was there to show the difference between making love with someone and fulfilling a selfish need or desire.

  3. Like you, Anita, I also don't consider myself a prude and never dress or undress in closets and nightclothes are a total waste of money in our home. That said, I also do not like movies or TV shows that exploit sex just for the shock value. I'm not shocked by people wearing little or no clothing, but see no sense in watching movies that do nothing for me. And, if that's being prudish than I'm in that group as well. Funny about that catalog going from mops and aprons to sex toys. As to why you received it...once you get on a mail list, it seems you are open to receive all sort of unwanted material.


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