Wednesday, January 14, 2015

I've Come to Talk with You Again

Have you ever noticed how people come and go in your life?

For the longest time I had no clue what the majority of my high school classmates were doing. Then along came our 30th reunion and now many of them litter my Facebook newsfeed. I know their children, who they married, when they are vacation. I hit that little "like" button occasionally but I'm not sure they even know who I am.

Over the years I have worked many places. My writing for the local newspaper has kept me in touch with those folks who work there for 30 years. It would be hard not to work with someone for that long and not consider them in some manner to be a friend. But they're not on Facebook. Doesn't matter, though, because all I have to do is pick up the phone, or stop by.

One of my closest friends is also a former coworker from all the way back to 1983. I have known her almost as long as I've known my husband. She's not on Facebook, either. Neither is another close friend of 15 years. I even have a pen pal that I've been corresponding with for 13 years. We've exchanged thousands of emails.

They are dear old friends, and they don't need to see my status to know how I am.

I also have new friends (known for less than 10 years), whom I love dearly. I don't know how long they will be in my life, but I'm grateful they are there.

Sometimes people come and go so quickly you wonder what it is they wanted. Were they there to teach me something? Was I teaching them? Was it a hit and run and nobody stopped?

People I worked with, people I had classes with, people I've interviewed over the years - sometimes they all jumble up in my brain. I long ago stopped guessing who people were when they stopped me in the grocery store and carried on a conversation. I would always guess wrong. "So how's your job at the bank?" would invariably end up with a huffy, "I work at the library!" or something.

Now I just ask generic questions unless I figure out who I'm talking to. It's not that I don't care, it's just that I've met so many thousands of people over the years, between school, jobs, and volunteer work, that I become confused. Because usually the grocery store or the gas station is not where I met them in the first place, and I associate people with place.

I am not sure how I feel about the return of people I used to know into my life, especially via Facebook. It seems a bit artificial. The generation coming up now will never know the value of losing touch with someone (and there is value to that). They will be Facebook friends with their kindergarten class for the rest of their lives. Maybe 35 years from now they will wonder who so-and-so is and why they are friends. Or not. Collecting numbers of friends, quantity, not quality, seems to be the in thing.

While I've connected with some high school and college classmates, for the most part, none of my former coworkers have bothered to engage me on Facebook. This does not bother me; I am not sure I would know who they were unless they reminded me. Sometimes I dream of them - the woman who worked with me who helped me from my car when I was rear-ended in front of the office one day, or the woman at one office that I disliked so much that I hoped she would accidentally lock herself up in the vault in the basement and have to spend the weekend there. Sometimes these old coworkers return to me like wraiths hell-bent on revenge, other times they are visions trapped in mist, beckoning me.

Whatever they're doing, I still don't remember their names.

Sometimes people in my life come and go. I see them for a while, then I don't for a long time, and then they are back again. I am generally glad to see them.

I've heard it said that people come into your life for a reason. Usually, I have no idea why I have met the people I have. Lately, though, some folks in my life have made it pretty clear why they're in my life, and I am learning interesting and useful life lessons from them. I am grateful to these mentors (who don't even know they're teaching me) because they are making me a better person.

And becoming a better person is what it is all about, isn't it? Isn't that part of loving the people you're with?

I found this online. Do you think this is true?

People come into your path for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you know which one it is, you will know what to do with that person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty . . .
To provide you with guidance and support . . .
To aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually . . .
They may seem like they are a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die . . .
Sometimes they walk away . . .
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. . .
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled . . .
Their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has now been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON.
Because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons.
Things you must build upon to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind, but friendship is clairvoyant.
Thank you for being a part of my life . . .
Whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime
~ unknown author

1 comment:

  1. We have since deleted FB--to much gossip and family business on there, which has no place for it. This is my personal thought; If you want to now how I am doing, then call. The only person who has sort of kept up with me since deleting FB--out of 50 friends, only one. Now, that tells you something, doesn't it?--I agree with your poem/saying. I also believe people come and go in ones life for a reason...anyways....just thoughts. Great post, btw. Blessings

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