The Made-Up Jobs

From Sunday Stealing

90, Part 2


30. Do you read your horoscope?

A. I do, but I don't live my life by it.

31. Where was the last place you bought something?

A. The supermarket. I bought groceries for dinner but since I have decided today to go on a cooking strike I guess that meat will simply sit there.

32. How do you feel about your hair right now?

A. I'm glad it's on my head.
 
33. Do you bite your nails?

A. Yes. I have since I was a very young child.

34. Do you have any expensive jewelry?

A. Honestly, yes or no questions are not good meme questions. They should be opened-ended, such as "What kind of expensive jewelry do you have, if any?" Not that I would answer that particular question. I don't want to be robbed.

35. Have you ever been told you speak fast?

A. I'm from the south. No one down here speaks fast unless they have come from somewhere else.
 
36. Is your laugh usually hearty?

A. It's a laugh. Ha ha. I have no idea if it's hearty or not.
 
37. How fast have you driven a car?

A. Well, don't tell anybody, but I once hit 120 on the back roads of Botetourt. It was a very long time ago, though, and now I am a good girl and (almost always) drive the speed limit.

38. Have you ever smoked?

A. I tried cigarettes in high school but could not tolerate them. I have asthma so that is probably a good thing.

39. What was your favorite subject in school?

A. English.

40. Do you have cell phone provider loyalty?

A. I suppose so, since I have been with my provider since about 2001. 

41. What type of boy or girl do you usually fall for?

A. Um. I've been married for 30 years. The guy I "fell for" is a ol' plow boy who works hard and doesn't see much beyond tomorrow. He's also very kind, big-hearted, and intelligent. I'm not sure what "type" that makes him.

42. Do you have any hidden talents?

A. If they're hidden, how would I know?
 
43. Favorite song?

A. Don't really have one. I like stuff from the 1970s, including the dreaded disco. I favor southern rock and I like the Eagles, Linda Ronstadt, Anne Murray, Melissa Etheridge, and early Sheryl Crow. I don't listen to country music, hip hop, heavy metal, punk, or alternative music. I like classical sometimes when I'm in the mood, and I like album soundtracks from movies like Lord of the Rings.
 
44. Do you like to sing at all?

A. I do like to sing, yes. Sometimes I belt it out until I am hoarse.
 
45. Dream job?

A. One that would give me enough money to live just a bit above "comfortable" and, since I am now having health issues, I would like to be able to afford someone to come in and clean occasionally.
 
46. Where does most of your family live?

A. Some live nearby,some are on the other side of the country.

47. Are you an only child or do you have siblings?

A. I have a brother. He is a brat still, even though we are both old people.
 
48. Would you consider yourself to be spoiled?

A. No, but I imagine some might.

49. What was the first thing you thought when you woke up?

A. That I would be alone again today.
 
50. Do you drink?

A. Water. You know if you don't, you dehydrate and die. So I think most everyone capable of answering this question would answer "yes" in some fashion.
 
51. Know any other languages?

A. Yo hablo muy poco espaniol.

52. Ever write a coded message?

A. I had a friend in high school who insisted on writing in code; it drove me crazy.
 
53. Have you ever been in someone else's wedding?

A. Yes.

54. Do you have any children?

A. No.
 
55. Did you take a nap today?

A. Not yet.

 56. Who has the same birthday as you?

A. I have an uncle who is a year younger than I who was born on my birthday. According to Biography.com, I share this date with Barbara Bush, Nancy Sinatra, Gabrielle Giffords, Frank Lloyd Wright, Joan Rivers, and a bunch of other people whose names I don't recognize.
 
57. Ever met anyone famous before?

A. Yes. I used to write for newspapers and I have met many so-called famous people, mostly politicians. I have met every Virginia governor since Doug Wilder up through Bob McDonnell. That includes both of our current senators (Mark Warner & Tim Kaine). I have not met the current governor, Terry McAuliffe. I also know several state delegates and senators and most of the local news media folk. Also, I met Dolly Parton a really long time ago.

58. Do you want to be famous one day?

A. I'm already about as famous as I want to be.
 
59. Any pet peeves?

A. People who talk on their cell phone instead of paying attention to the people who are right in front of them. Sales clerks who ignore the customers at the register in favor of those on the phone. Discourtesy in general.
 
60. Are you multitasking right now?

A. The washer and dryer are both working hard, and the radio is playing, so I suppose so.